Fasting and pregnancy
Orthodox Christians observe 4 long fasts per year. Also, every Wednesday and Friday are considered fast, regardless of the date that falls on them. The longest fast occurs in the spring months - this is Lent, which lasts 40 days.
There is an opinion that during fasting you need to give up not only eating a certain set of foods, but also sexual activity. Allegedly, these processes distract believers from reading prayers.
After the relaxation, there follows a summer period of abstinence - Petrov's fast. It starts from the end of June and ends in mid-July. The second half of August marks the Assumption Fast. The last one is Rozhdestvensky, it starts 30 days before the New Year and ends on January 6th. If you add up all the days during which Orthodox Christians fast, they will take about six months.
You can come across the statement that conceiving a child during Lent is a great sin. If we approach the issue from this point of view, it turns out that Orthodox Christians will have to give up intimacy for almost 6 months a year. However, only a person who is new to church laws can decide this.
In fact, you only need to abstain from sex before communion, a day before the sacrament takes place. As for the time periods during which the fasts occur, the refusal of intimacy is only advisory and not absolute. Therefore, it is quite logical that it is possible to conceive during Lent, and it will not be considered a sin.
This teaching is a fallacy
I have not yet encountered in the writings of the Holy Fathers a teaching according to which children conceived on days of fasting or on a holiday will have physical disabilities or other defects. This is a pagan teaching, or even most likely a delusion. For example, Russians believe that the moment of conceiving a child is very important; they think that its future fate depends on it. Villagers believed that a child would be hardworking, healthy, cheerful, and smart if conceived on a lucky day or hour. It was believed that the fate of a child who was born on Sunday or during Lent, or during the Passover of the Dead, would be full of misfortune and that the child would be either a fool, or a thief, or a robber. If someone was born blind or deaf, it was thought that this was the result of being conceived on a Friday.
What the clergy say
If you go to websites that are dedicated to Orthodoxy, almost every one of them has information on this issue, with comments provided by representatives of the church. They explain to believers the essence of fasting, tell them how to behave on these days, what lifestyle to adhere to.
If a couple manages to conceive a child during Lent, the church will view this as God's will and not as a sin.
If parishioners ask a question about whether it is possible to conceive a child during Lent, the clergy refer to the Bible, citing scriptures and texts to support their words. It is known that during Lent, a Christian should pay special attention to spiritual life, cleanse himself of unrighteous thoughts, pray more often and turn to God.
If a believer decides to fast, he needs to attend church, think about God, and act in accordance with his laws. You cannot commit evil deeds and keep bad things in your head. Refusal of certain foods and intimacy is not a necessary condition for fasting. These measures are advisory in nature, with the goal of reducing a person’s distraction from the spiritual to the worldly.
A child is the fruit of love between two people, a gift from God, which cannot be interpreted as something bad. On what exact day the conception occurred is absolutely unimportant, the main thing is that it happened. Parents should not even allow themselves to think that getting pregnant during Lent is a sin.
The spiritual state of parents affects the health of the child
This is what the second of God's 10 commandments says:
You shall not make for yourself an idol or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth below, or that is in the water under the earth; You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me, and showing mercy to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments. (Exodus 20:4-6)
When Moses ascended Mount Sinai for the second time to receive the 10 Commandments...
And the Lord came down in the cloud, and stood there near him, and proclaimed the name of Jehovah. And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed: The Lord, the Lord, a gracious and merciful God, long-suffering and abounding in mercy and truth, preserving mercy to thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but not leaving it unpunished, punishing the iniquity of the fathers on the children and children of children up to the third and fourth generation. (Exodus 34:5-7)
Even if you didn't admit it before, I'm guessing that you saw a connection between the problems in your life and the way your parents lived before God. Or maybe you become even more anxious when you think about how your affairs and your spiritual state, which you currently have over your child's future, will reflect. In that case, I'm sure you want to know...
What to do if the child was conceived during Lent
During fasting, both spouses must decide to give up intimacy. Only in this case will it really be carried out for the benefit of the family, and no disagreements will arise between husband and wife. Peace within the family is prioritized by the church. This is much more important than abstaining from sex, especially since this is not the essence of fasting.
If one of the future parents has doubts or a feeling of discomfort appears, there is only one right solution - to consult with a confessor. The priest will help you put your thoughts in the right direction, tune in to the positive, and happily spend 9 months waiting for your child.
If one spouse is not ready to give up intimate life, then this restriction should not be introduced. It is very important that conception during and outside of fasting takes place by mutual consent of the spouses, in a comfortable psychological environment.
When the fact has happened and the woman has become pregnant, one should not even think about abortion. Conceiving during Lent is not a sin, but a gift from God that must be appreciated. It doesn't matter when this moment happened.
What should believers do if pregnancy occurs?
Many priests who are loyal to human weaknesses explain that the decision to abstain from intimacy should be made by both spouses. The desire to give up for a while in favor of uplifting the spirit should be equally strong, then problems in the family will not arise. For the church, harmony in the family and a peaceful atmosphere are much more important than observing the recommendations about abstaining from fasting and intimacy during Lent.
If one spouse is not sufficiently prepared for restrictions, there is no point in resisting. Moreover, when conception has taken place during the period of fasting, no thoughts other than love for the unborn baby should arise. There is no place for considerations about sin, guilt, or abortion. A child is a soul sent by God, so getting pregnant on any day of the year means receiving a gift.
If the future parents are still not very comfortable and reproach themselves or each other for weakness, it is worth talking to a close confessor. His task is to reassure the spouses and set them in a positive mood, expecting a new addition to the family.
Why should you refrain from conceiving during Lent or fasting days?
Planning a child in an Orthodox family must be thought out. You should not convince yourself that conceiving a baby on the “wrong” days is not a sin. Fasting is a time for drawing closer to God, cleansing the soul and body, and renouncing worldly temptations. Prayer and repentance - this is what should be the basis of the life of every Christian during Lent. It is worth noting that during this period they do not marry, since it is during this sacrament that the blessing for the birth of children is given. This is why you should refrain from intimacy during Lent.
There are cases when a married couple has problems related to having children. So it turns out that the end of treatment falls on fasting, when it is necessary to make further attempts at conception. So what to do in this situation? A long period of treatment and several months of abstinence may even be beneficial. You should come to terms with this and take it for granted, there is no need to calculate favorable days and make plans in this regard. Children will be given by God as a reward for humility and undying hope. The wait is painful for those spouses who wait many years for pregnancy. It is up to the married couple to decide what exactly to do. Children are sent by the Lord both for joy and for realizing their own mistakes. Therefore, you should not take risks, but postpone planning until the end of the post.
What if there is bad heredity?
“Couples who have had cases of severe hereditary pathologies in their family (Down syndrome, cystic fibrosis, hemophilia, phenylketonuria, etc.) should contact a geneticist who, if necessary, will prescribe a genetic test. After conducting an examination for a specific disease, a specialist can accurately say whether there is a risk of having a child with a hereditary pathology, and in some cases, carry out preventive measures that reduce the likelihood of having a sick baby,” says the director of the Medical Genetic Research Center. Academician Bochkov, chief freelance geneticist of the Ministry of Health, corresponding member of the Russian Academy of Sciences Sergei Kutsev .
Today, even couples with a high risk of hereditary diseases have the opportunity to give birth to a healthy child using the technology of preimplantation genetic testing (PGT study of the hereditary material of embryos obtained in an IVF cycle). Testing allows us to exclude the possibility of having a child with chromosomal abnormalities (Down syndrome) or certain monogenic diseases. However, this technology cannot yet exclude all mutations for all groups of diseases.
In the clouds of health. When and what tests are carried out for pregnant women Read more
How to save your child's future?
It is necessary to repent. Come to God, ask for forgiveness for conscious and unconscious sins committed, then make a covenant with God by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, deciding to be obedient with all your heart to His Word, written on the pages of the Holy Scriptures. Study the Bible, live what it says, and never go back to what you did in the past. In this way, you will gain an inheritance in God's Kingdom and ensure a blessed future not only for yourself, but also for your children.
Translation: Moses Natalya
How to prepare for conception correctly?
Doctors recommend starting to prepare for a possible pregnancy another 3 months in advance, eating healthy food and vitamins, and abstaining from harmful hobbies. But according to church canons, it takes at least 6 months to be completely ready to conceive. Prayers, following the rules of fasting, calling on the soul - this is what planning consists of. Fasting should be perceived as a kind of cleansing procedure for the soul and body.
There is a way to pray for 41 days to get what you want. It can also be used to summon souls. This method involves carrying out daily procedures for 41 days: lighting a candle on the home altar, incense and fresh flowers, reading prayers, and making a request. All this will be a kind of sacrifice to God for the fulfillment of one’s own desires. Faith in the power of God will help you achieve your plans; the long-awaited pregnancy will come soon.
Take care of the future of your unborn children, do not do things that you will regret. You should not prepare yourself for the possibility that a child conceived during fasting will be born sick. Repent of your actions, remove the heavy burden from your soul. Give the little man all your love, do not pass on the accumulated negativity to him. The confession of both parents will cleanse the soul; know that God’s love for man is limitless.
The concept of “unplanned conception” in the interpretation of the church.
Quite often you can hear the term “unplanned conception,” which is no coincidence in the modern world. The worst thing is that neither the woman nor the man set themselves the goal of creating a child as the fruit of joint love. All this was perceived as an accident. The fetus in the womb is very sensitive to any changes in the mother’s body, this also applies to mood, nervous overexcitation and irritation. All these feelings are experienced by the little unborn man who already has a heart and soul. So how can you hope that a child born from unplanned intimacy can be happy and successful?
All the failures that await such a baby can be associated not only with psychological trauma received before birth, but also as a reflection of parental sins.
ira-waiting-for-a-miracle
Fasting and marital relations Priest Daniil Sysoev
19.3.07
It is good and beneficial for the soul to abstain from marital communication during fasting days, but this should not be against the will of one of the spouses.
Question: Tell me, why does the current Orthodox tradition strictly regulate the time of abstinence from marital relations: multiple fasts, Christmastide, the week after Easter, Wednesday and Friday? Why does the apostle say that the time of abstinence from physical relations is up to the spouses themselves, i.e., “by mutual agreement,” and in the church violation of such fasts is considered a sin?
I know examples where wives refused intimacy with their husbands during fasting. As a result, serious family scandals arose, in the end the wife gave in, and then ran to repent of “incontinence from married life.” And we perceive this idea of fasting as a dogma. Moreover, the opinion is being imposed that children conceived during fasting are defective. I know of another example where a wife’s attempts to observe such fasts pushed her husband away from the Orthodox Church. I think that this case is far from isolated.
Priest Daniil Sysoev answers:
Indeed, in the Holy Scriptures there is a rule of the Apostle Paul: “And what you wrote to me about, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, in order to avoid fornication, each have his own wife, and each have his own husband. The husband show his wife due favor; likewise is a wife to her husband. The wife has no power over her body, but the husband does; Likewise, the husband has no power over his body, but the wife does. Do not deviate from each other, unless by agreement, for a while, to exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance. However, I said this as permission, and not as a command. For I wish that all people were like me; but each has his own gift from God, one one way, another another” (1 Cor. 7: 1-7). Based on this, the Church has long had a norm of abstinence from marital cohabitation during fasting. But, unlike food prohibitions, for violation of which without a good reason the canons call excommunication from St. Communion (69 rule of the Holy Apostles), the sacred rules say: “Those who marry must be their own independent judges. For they heard Paul writing that it is proper to abstain from each other, by agreement, until the time has come, in order to practice prayer, and then again in life” (4th rule of St. Dionysius of Alexandria).
The 13th rule of Timothy of Alexandria also says: “Question 13: Those who copulate in the communion of marriage, on which days of the week should they observe abstinence from copulation with each other, and on which days should they have the right to do so?
Answer: before I said, and now I say, the apostle says: do not deprive yourself of one another, only by agreement, for the time being, let you continue in prayer: and gather together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance (1 Cor. 7:5) . However, it is necessary to abstain on the Sabbath and Sunday, because on these days a spiritual sacrifice is offered to the Lord.” This prohibition itself is connected with the fact that it is assumed (according to the 8th rule of the Holy Apostles) that a Christian receives communion at every Liturgy, and according to the 5th rule of Timothy of Alexandria, he should not receive communion after marital cohabitation.
The holy fathers who interpreted this verse taught in a similar way. St. John Chrysostom says: “What does this mean? The wife should not, he says, abstain against the will of her husband, and the husband should not abstain against the will of his wife. Why? Because great evil comes from this abstinence; This often resulted in adultery, fornication and domestic disorder. For if others, having their own wives, indulge in adultery, then they will indulge in it all the more if they are deprived of this consolation. Well said: do not deprive yourself; for to abstain to one against the will of another means to deprive, but according to the will - not. Thus, if you take something from me with my consent, it will not be a deprivation for me; he who takes against his will and by force deprives. Many wives do this, violating justice and thereby giving their husbands a reason for debauchery and all leading to frustration. Unanimity should be preferred to everything; it is most important. If you want, we can prove it with experience. Of the two spouses, let the wife abstain, while the husband does not want it. What will happen? Will he not indulge in adultery, or, if he does not commit adultery, will he not grieve, worry, be irritated, be angry and cause a lot of trouble to his wife? What is the use of fasting and abstinence when love is violated? No. How much grief will inevitably arise from this, how much trouble, how much discord! If a husband and wife do not agree with each other in the house, then their house is no better than a ship tossed by waves, on which the helmsman does not agree with the ruler of the helm. Therefore, the Apostle says: do not deprive yourself of each other, only by agreement for the time being, but remain in fasting and prayer. Here he means prayer performed with special care, for if he forbade those who copulate to pray, then how could the commandment of unceasing prayer be fulfilled? Therefore, it is possible to have intercourse with your wife and pray: but with abstinence, prayer is more perfect. It’s not easy to say: yes, pray, but: yes, remain in prayer, because the marriage matter only distracts from this, and does not produce defilement. And get together again, so that Satan does not tempt you. So that they do not think that this is a law, he also adds a reason. Which one? Let not Satan tempt you. And so that they know that it is not the Devil who is the culprit of adultery, he adds: “through your intemperance” - this is how St. John Chrysostom interprets these words.
Likewise, St. Gregory the Theologian, admonishing those preparing for Baptism, writes: “I ask you one thing: accept the gift as a fence, and bring purity from yourself to the gift for a while, while the days set for prayer continue, which are more honorable than working days; and then by mutual condition and agreement. For we do not prescribe the law, but we give advice, and we want to take it from you for your general safety.”
Thus, the position of the Church can be expressed as follows: it is good and beneficial for the soul to abstain from marital communication during fasting days, but this should not be against the will of one of the spouses. How long this abstinence should last cannot be decided by anyone except their own conscience. The only church restriction is the ban on carnal communication before communion. It was established back in the Old Testament, when before the coming of the Lord to Mount Sinai the people were commanded to abstain from their wives for three days (Ex. 19).
The position of those who claim that marriage is possible only when weddings are permitted is completely unjustified. In fact, the ban on weddings on some days is due to the fact that due to fasting or upcoming holiday services the wedding feast cannot take place (explanation of St. Simeon of Thessaloniki), and not with the ban on carnal intercourse. Moreover, according to the rules of the ancient Church, marital cohabitation was not approved on the night after the Wedding.
The very attempt to impose marital fasting as obligatory on those days when it is impossible to get married is, in fact, as Chrysostom said, pushing people towards adultery. After all, if you strictly follow the norms put forward by some modern confessors, then it turns out that you can have marital relations for less than a third of the days a year (from 115 to 140), which will lead (especially in modern depraved times) only to the destruction of families, which, in fact, observed.
Moreover, it is unacceptable to consider children conceived during fasting to be somehow defective or cursed. This statement is not based on Scripture and the writings of the Church Fathers. It condemns without guilt millions of our contemporaries, whom their parents conceived at the “wrong time,” although God says that children do not bear the guilt of their father. All this intimidation is fundamentally contrary to the very spirit of evangelical freedom, which advises but does not impose. Let us recall that the wish for abstinence, according to St. Gregory the Theologian: “not law, but advice.” But this, of course, does not mean that we neglect the apostolic advice, because the spiritual benefits of abstinence are obvious.
Question: “I was always very outraged by phrases like: “And they lived in purity.” Every Orthodox Christian understands perfectly what it is about, it is so often used both in literature and in colloquial speech. But what about the words of Scripture, “Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled”? After all, it is logical to conclude that if one state is clean, then the other, on the contrary, is dirt!?”
Priest Daniil Sysoev answers:
The other state is not purity, but it is not filthy either. Marriage is the natural state of man in a fallen world, blessed by the Lord in Cana of Galilee. Therefore, in the prayers of the Wedding, we ask that the marriage be honest and the bed clean. But celibacy for the sake of Christ is much higher. This is a supernatural virtue that makes a person equal to the angels. But at the same time, the Church considers abstinence resulting from the suppression of marriage as a reason for anathema (14th rule of the Gangra Council, 51st rule of the Holy Apostles).
Question: Hello! Father, thank you for touching on such delicate and at the same time important topics. I have accumulated several similar questions, but I always feel somehow uncomfortable discussing them with the parish priest. If you consider it necessary, perhaps you will answer them. Thank you in advance. And further. I understand that these are not the most important questions in our lives, but I would like to clarify them for myself once and for all in order to avoid embarrassment of all kinds.
1. Is it possible to bring a baby to Communion in the morning if there was a marital relationship at night?
2. Is it even possible to go into church on this day, venerate icons, St. relics and approach the anointing, or the person is considered unclean all day (and where is the “immaculate bed”?). Is it possible to light candles and a lamp at home, drink holy and Epiphany water and prosphora?
3. Is the night of Holy Communion considered fast in a marital relationship?
Priest Daniil Sysoev answers:
The Apostle Paul said: “marriage is honorable and the bed is undefiled,” the prayers of the Sacrament of Marriage speak about this. Therefore, it is impossible to talk about the uncleanness of the marital bed if there was no sin (any unnatural relationship). Therefore, after marital relations, you can touch any shrine and bring the child to the Holy Chalice. Only participation in St. Communions in accordance with the rule of Timothy of Alexandria. On the day after communion, one must also keep oneself from the proximity of “love for the sake of the heavenly King” (according to the Missal). But nowhere is anything said about the next night. A new day begins and there are no prohibitions on it.
Question: Father, tell me what to do. My husband is not a very churchly person, but a few months ago he said that marital relations in a room where icons hang on the wall are impossible. I asked who told him about this? The answer was: “I know.” But, as far as I know, icons should be in every room. So what should we do then? What if there is only one room? The husband was not convinced by this argument. Could he be right to some extent?
Priest Daniil Sysoev answers:
The Apostle Paul said: “marriage is honorable and the bed is undefiled.” Therefore, marital cohabitation cannot in any way desecrate icons. A Christian should always have icons in sight so as not to forget God, Who sees everything. Therefore your husband is wrong. There can and should be icons above the family bed. By the way, you can protect yourself from various abuses of marriage.
