Hegumen Luka (Stepanov): “Once I acutely felt that the Lord created monogamy”
It’s funny, having just fallen out of the sinful secular reality, to categorically change everything... How did it happen that a promising, talented actor, who was invited to play the main roles in two Moscow theaters - Ermolovsky and Gogolevsky - suddenly leaves the profession? How did it happen that a 27-year-old young man, who had discovered the height and purity of Christian marriage, suddenly decides not to start a family, and after a while becomes a novice in one of the most severe monasteries of that time - the Athos Compound? About this and much more - a conversation with an amazing person - with Abbot Luka (Stepanov), abbot of the Spaso-Preobrazhensky Pronsky Monastery; with the head of the department of theology of Ryazan State University. S. A. Yesenina. Hegumen Luka is an Orthodox writer and publicist, author and host of the television project “Soulful Supper” on Ryazan television and on the Soyuz TV channel; and also an active participant in the All-Russian Internet project “Father Online”.
“If you want to be strong, run, if you want to be beautiful, run, if you want to be smart, run!”
- My childhood passed in the years of stagnation - quite happy and calm years of the decline of the Soviet Union. True, we had no idea then that it was sunset. A certain level of social life provided scope for self-realization within the framework of the ideology of Marxism-Leninism, and these frameworks were wide enough for movement in different directions.
My childhood and youth were spent under the banner of creativity, verbal art: reading poetry, preparing to enter the theater institute, which happened after finishing the 10th grade. True, high poetry at that time was very ideological: I remember when, as part of a delegation of the Komsomol Central Committee, I visited Poland and preceded the party meeting by reading poetry, the local audience listened with pleasure to the poems of Russian classics, but the party-political poems were evasively called material incomprehensible to them .
In addition to a thorough acquaintance with Russian poetry (poetry softened my heart and taught me moral values), in my life I became closely acquainted with athletics, which became the highlight of the second half of my youth. The fact is that my parents and I had to go to Mongolia for 2.5 years, where I ended up in a sports class, where I had a close encounter with athletics, with long-distance running, which I did almost until I graduated from school. I think that playing sports has shaped my personality in many ways, strengthened certain patterns of life, helped me acquire the values of patience, helping others, a sense of brotherhood, and joy for my teammates. But I always lacked the competitive spirit.
I recently listened to an interview with actor Dmitry Pevtsov, who, being a very athletic person, expressed an interesting idea that he did not achieve much in sports because he lacked sports anger. It seemed recognizable to me: I also didn’t see any point in switching to desperate obstinacy. Therefore, although I really loved athletics, long-distance running, and fully shared the idea of the ancient proverb: “If you want to be strong, run, if you want to be beautiful, run, if you want to be smart, run!”, I never became a professional athlete .
Nevertheless, sports training has been very useful to me in life. When I had to seriously study choreography at GITIS, where I entered - and it requires a lot of dedication and good athletic shape, or when, after the second year of university, I did military service in the ranks of the Soviet army, where there was also a lot of physical activity, I had all this no longer so difficult, it was not a shock or a big overcoming, since I had the skill of physical activity during my years of playing sports. Therefore, now, as a priest, I always support the intentions of children or parents to engage in sports (for the time being, I do not mean professional sports), as well as the fine arts - I see that this is an excellent means for forming a fairly versatile personality capable of decent face life's difficulties.
One incident made a decisive change in my life...
‒ I was born and raised in a simple family, my father and mother were engineers, they barely made ends meet, they lived from paycheck to paycheck. At some time, the four of us lived in one room in a communal apartment, so I can’t say that our family had any particularly elegant traditions.
I can note an interesting nuance regarding my Leningrader dad, who, having received a technical secondary education, went to work part-time: together with his friend, he participated in the crowd at the Kirov Theater. Since childhood, my father had a great love for the theater and high art, and he encouraged me in every possible way in my reading work. Although when I was 4–5 years old, no one would have thought that I could be the announcer of the children’s editorial office of the All-Union Radio, read “Pioneer Dawns”... The fact is that by the age of 5 I did not pronounce most of the letters of the Russian alphabet, I have There was a terrible “porridge” in my mouth, it was already pathological in nature, and I was admitted to the speech therapy department of the Central Clinical Hospital.
I remember these Stalinist buildings: huge buildings, three-layer windows. I had to stay in the hospital for two months, I had serious speech therapy sessions ahead of me, but one incident made a decisive change in my life: I was waiting for my mother, who was supposed to come to see me. And then the long-awaited hour came: in the window I saw my mother approaching our hospital building with a gift in her hand. All I had to do was wait for my mother to reach my department. I waited 10 minutes, 20 minutes, but my mother never came. And suddenly I saw my mother in the window, but she was already without a gift, and was moving away from me towards the exit from the hospital. I screamed and called her, but she didn’t turn around because those thick windows didn’t allow her to hear me.
It turned out that a quarantine had been declared in our department, and therefore no one was allowed to go on dates. There were no mobile phones then, and there was no communication with my mother at all. I was so upset by this separation that, instead of the expected two months of the treatment program, I corrected my speech in a few days. I said that if this is a condition for releasing me, then take it! Since then, I have acquired a fairly impeccable Moscow dialect, which I still keep to this day.
How the happy years of theatrical youth began
‒ Already from the third grade of school, my collaboration with the All-Union Radio began, my participation in greetings of Komsomol party congresses as a starched boy with a red tie, reading poetry like: “Three crows flew in, two rooks flew in - this is the personal merit of Leonid Ilyich!” , “Spring has passed, summer has come, thanks to the party for this!” Therefore, my service on the stage, if not always declared, was always assumed, and in senior high school this became quite obvious and I could not imagine any other professional service.
I graduated from school rather mediocre. In those days, when graduating, they considered the average score, and I had it just above four. But everyone understood that when entering GITIS, the most important thing is creative abilities, and I had a good repertoire, plus one wonderful actor worked with me and helped me prepare for admission. However, my preparation was somewhat uncertain. Usually in my life everything happens very gradually, but I can remember a few moments of suddenness. One of these moments was the day of admission to GITIS.
I remember that the actor who trained me didn’t feel particularly enthusiastic about me, although I was a normal Muscovite, more pleasant than unpleasant-looking, but at the same time I didn’t feel any creative fervor in me. But this was exactly until the moment I stood before the commission, which, as a rule, causes wild horror and paralysis of all creative forces in most applicants, but for some reason it caused the opposite feelings for me. Either seeing interested parties, or encouraged by the fruits of my fairly successful participation in various poetry competitions at the level of Moscow and the Soviet Union, I suddenly, while reading Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol about the appearance of Chichikov at the ball and Mikhalkov’s fables, poems by Pushkin and Mayakovsky, felt such courage that I almost stopped doubting the victoriousness of my hope for admission. By the way, I then entered not only GITIS, but also other Moscow theater universities (Shchepkinsky and Shchukinsky schools), and I even had to choose.
Thus began the happy years of theatrical education for my youth, which ultimately, thank God, led me to the point of Christian life - after two years of study and two years of military service, in my third year at GITIS I was baptized and became a parishioner of one of the churches in the center of Moscow .
I felt acutely that God created monogamy
- I often have to answer the question of how the change towards the Christian life took place. I think I had three main arguments: firstly, my love for the Russian classics, in which I always saw the innermost spirit and teaching of Orthodoxy; secondly, this, of course, is reading the Holy Scriptures of the New Testament - at one time I took the trouble to familiarize myself with it; thirdly, this is an acquaintance with modern Christians in Europe. True, they were Catholics, but, nevertheless, they were very sincere people who believed in Christ, and at that time I did not yet really understand the differences between Western and Eastern traditions. Meeting young, chaste and lively representatives of the younger generation, who live completely differently from our atheists of the Soviet Union, inspired me in many ways.
Finally, the fourth, and, most likely, even the most important reason was that I felt sincere repentance for my mistakes of youth, for liberties, for careless treatment of the opposite sex and for everything that is often inherent in being young and, in a moral sense, quite dissolute life. Having sincerely felt repentance for my youthful frivolity, I acutely felt that the Lord created monogamy: it is vain and soul-harmful to seek entertainment and pleasure when the noble calling of every person is monogamy, to create his only true family. And when this thought reached my heart, I felt that nothing separated me from Orthodoxy, I went to the temple closest to GITIS - then it was the Church of the Resurrection of the Word on Nezhdanova Street.
A significant change in my life consisted not only in the fact that I accepted holy baptism, but also in the fact that I met in the person of the priest who baptized me one of the most outstanding pastors of our time, who became my spiritual father. If I had not met him, then my entry into the Church would not have become so necessary. This acquaintance played a decisive role in the fact that already 5 years after baptism I changed my path from an “amateur” to a “professional” - I entered a monastery as a novice (in one of the most severe monasteries of that time - the Athos Compound) and after two year I took monastic vows with the name Luke.
Given to those who want
‒ The decision to become a monk grew gradually out of my Christian life. It’s funny, having just fallen out of the sinful secular reality, to categorically change everything, although such cases have happened in world history, but rarely.
The path of parish life prepared me for the decision not to start a family at first, then the understanding came that I should not remain in the world, because in this case a person remains both a seducer and a seduced person.
I was only 27 years old when I decided, for some previously unknown reasons, not to burden myself with family life. Whereas my adoption of Christianity was connected precisely with the understanding that marriage is high and sacred, that once a person unites with his chosen one, he must remain faithful to her for life. And now, having this attitude towards marriage, I felt what an unbearable burden it was for me. As the apostles said to Jesus Christ: “If such is a man’s duty to his wife, then it is better not to marry,” to which the Lord replied: “Not everyone can comprehend this word, but to whom it is given.” And as I understand now, it is given to those who want it.
Having freedom of choice, at a certain stage of life people sometimes come to think about lofty things, about monasticism, but there is no such possibility: their cross is to serve their family. And only after many years will the Lord perhaps give some people the opportunity and call them to monasticism. But while you are still young and not burdened with the obligations of marital vows during a wedding, the choice is still yours. So I made my choice.
I realized that theater does not directly serve a spiritual purpose
“It turned out that I first left the theater, and only then seriously thought about monasticism. It was not monasticism and art that collided with me, but Christianity and art.
After graduating from GITIS, where I played leading roles in graduation performances, I was invited to play leading roles in two Moscow theaters - Ermolovsky and Gogolevsky. Despite the fact that I really liked the roles and I enjoyed them, at the same time a crisis began in my attitude towards the other responsibilities of a young artist: for example, to dance the evil spirit in the play Panochka based on Gogol’s Viy, which was staged at the Gogol Theater.
Also, I didn’t like any kind of touring at all, which helps a young artist earn a living. And although I was noticed as a young and promising actor, I still did not have the right to dictate my own rules, as a recognized artist can afford to do. Therefore, I understood that either I must conform to the general order of theatrical life, or leave it. And she, I must admit, has already become completely alien to me, I have lost all interest in her, I have grown cold. And not to work on the role, which I really liked, and which I did with an interesting director, but to everything else. But, nevertheless, you can’t throw the rest out the window.
You cannot work selectively in any form of art or in any other field of activity: if you are a loader, you cannot say that you like to place objects only from the bottom up, but don’t like it from the top down - you have to do everything as it should. And some kind of intolerance had already very clearly manifested itself in me, probably even Christian - I understood that I was wasting my time on stage, that I was not interested in it - neither creatively nor humanly. Moreover, having already regularly confessed and received the Holy Mysteries of Christ, I saw that this was also harmful to the soul - for example, the same dance of evil spirits. True, things had not yet come to the performance, but at the rehearsals that had begun, I already understood that this was unacceptable.
Playing any roles in directors’ concepts that are unchristian and sometimes harmful to the human soul completely disgusted me, and this is already a serious gap: if you serve Melpomene, then you must serve her in all manifestations, not disdaining any small role. This is what I, like all my classmates, did in my first years at GITIS, trying in every possible way to establish myself at the beginning of my creative life. There was no academic subject that we neglected: stage speech, stage combat, choreography, vocals - all of this was represented as parts of one body that you develop. When some Christian maturity and consciousness came, and the profession appeared in all its versatility, including its ugliness, then everything fell into place for me.
Now, as part of my job, I often communicate with people who are looking for a way into the world of art, and I can tell them how wonderful, interesting, and exciting it is, but also about the realities of life that arise, and it can be extremely difficult to maintain one’s guiding star. Objectively, serving the stage with its depiction of life seriously affects a person, and does not lead the soul to such rosy states. It is not surprising that such a crisis, disappointment, cooling occurs.
But not all actors manage to make it right away; some are not hired for years and are not given roles. Most of our classmates were ready to chew for years on the secondary and even sometimes painful “chaff” of the profession with the hope of one day shining in the classics, in the plays of Shakespeare and Gogol by good directors. I understand that this is a love for acting, but apparently I didn’t have it then. Therefore, I stopped loving the life of an artist as such.
At one time I was trying to adapt to teaching, and at the invitation of my brilliant acting teacher (who is still remembered and loved by my colleagues in theater education, and now famous actors - Tatyana Dogileva, Andrei Zvyagintsev, Evgenia Dobrovolskaya, etc.) I started teach his courses. I held out in this teaching capacity the longest, but gradually weakened in this too, because I realized that in this genre I teach not the law of God, not the One for Need, but what I myself am internally moving away from.
I realized that theater does not directly serve a spiritual purpose. His strength and brilliance are a spiritual goal. It is not a sermon from the theater stage that is needed - it is drying, does not correspond to the ideal of theatrical art, to which different figures in this field strive from different sides. As a result, I also left teaching.
What is creativity for me today?
‒ Now for me the highest creativity is the creation of a disciple of Christ in oneself, the transformation in the service of the Divine Liturgy into a renewed creature, communion with the Divine Nature, Divine Love, Divine Light and the communion of people with Christ - this is what constitutes the fullness and joy of priestly service, which in different directions of my obediences constitutes my goal and joy of being.
Interviewed by Yulia Gashchenko
Source: Center for Child Development and Protection “Up”
Church service
Hegumen Luka (Stepanov) reached his current rank in Ryazan only in 2013. Up to this point, his “spiritual ladder” included the rank of hierodeacon, to which he was ordained in 2001. Soon he became a hieromonk and rector of the Church of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos and St. mts. Tatiana, and today operates at Ryazan State University. And only 12 years later, Luka Stepanov became abbot (abbot) of the Spaso-Preobrazhensky Monastery in Pronsk (a village in the Ryazan region), where he continues to serve at the present time.
In addition, the spiritual path led Hegumen Luka to the position of secretary of the Diocesan Council, dealing with issues of theological education of the Ryazan diocese. Also in 2021, he was appointed deputy chairman of the Diocesan Church Court in Ryazan. And at present, the abbot is also the chairman of the commission on Orthodox education and spiritual enlightenment in the same Ryazan diocese.
Journalism
In addition to books, the abbot has written more than a dozen articles on the Pravoslavie.ru website. In them, he talks about fasting, shepherding, obedience and prayer, answers pressing questions of believers, and helps with good advice in overcoming any difficulties associated with a crisis of faith and overcoming fears and sinful temptations. Here, every person, regardless of age and even religion, can find useful information for themselves and understand the complexities of understanding the world around them.
