Features of religions
Christianity and Islam are monotheistic religions. Their views on the sacred union of a man and a woman coincide in many ways, but still have differences.
Islam
According to Islam, all adults must be married, a sacred contract between two people. In addition to the official registration in the registry office, Muslims perform “nikah” - a kind of analogue of a Christian wedding. Nikah allows a man to have several wives if he can provide for them, and also gives spouses the right to divorce.
A wife must be obedient and submissive to her husband, accept all his views and actions. The husband, in turn, must respect and honor his wife, because she is the mother of his children.
Christianity
According to Christian traditions, marriage between a man and a Russian girl takes place in a church. Although the church recognizes state painting, it recommends getting married in a church. Divorce in this case is possible, but extremely undesirable.
Christianity says that spouses are one flesh, giving spouses equal rights. However, he recognizes that the wife is weaker than her husband and must obey him, and the husband must respect and honor his wife.
According to Al-Shafi'i Mazhab
In the book “Mu'ni al-Mukhtaj”, the famous alim of the madhhab Imam al-Shafi'i Khatib al-Shirbini writes: Islam allows a Muslim to marry women of the Book. These include Jewish and Christian women. The Quran says (meaning): “...[permitted for you to marry], chaste women from among those who were given the Book before you, if you pay them a dowry for them...” (Surah al-Maida, verse 5).
Women of the Scripture are considered to be those to whom the heavenly books of the Torah and the Gospel were revealed—Jews and Christians. Those to whom the book of Zabur or the sheets of the prophet Shis and the prophet Ibrahim were revealed are not considered women of the Book who are allowed to marry. Since the Koran says (meaning): “...The Scripture was revealed only to two communities [Jews and Christians] before us...” (Surah al-An'am, verse 156) - this means: before the Muslims.
In order for a Muslim man to marry a woman of the Book to be considered permissible or prohibited, there are a number of conditions.
- It is permissible if the woman of the Book is a Jew or a Christian, provided that it is known for certain that her ancestors accepted Judaism or Christianity before their abolition or distortion, since they accepted this religion when it was true.
- It is permissible if her ancestors accepted Judaism or Christianity after the distortion, but before the abolition of this religion by the sending of the next prophet, if they adhere to the true part of this religion and distance themselves from everything that is changed and distorted.
- It is prohibited if her ancestors accepted Judaism or Christianity after they were abolished by the sending of the next messenger, such as Prophet Isa (Jesus) after Prophet Musa (Moses) or Prophet Muhammad after Prophet Isa (peace and blessings be upon them all).
- It is prohibited if it is unknown whether her ancestors accepted Judaism or Christianity before or after the distortion, using caution.
Imam al-Subuki writes that “if a Jewish or Christian woman claims that her ancestors accepted this religion before it was abolished or distorted, or after the distortion, but before abolition, then her words are accepted, since this can only be learned from them." If the People of the Book are at war with the Muslims, then it is condemned to marry their woman to a Muslim if she is not in Muslim territory. If a Muslim cannot find a Muslim woman, then he is not blamed. Sometimes it is desirable to marry them if there is hope that they will accept Islam. As did the companion of the Prophet Uthman, who married the woman of the Book, and she accepted Islam and distinguished herself by piety. Imam al-Kufal said the wisdom behind allowing Muslims to marry women of the Book is that women are more inclined towards their husbands and their religion than towards their parents.
If a Muslim married a woman of the Book, then she has the same rights as a Muslim woman in maintenance, divorce and separation of nights if the husband has more than one wife, but not in receiving the husband's inheritance. The woman of the Book must necessarily bathe after her menstrual cycle and postpartum discharge in order for her to be allowed to have intimacy with her husband. She should also bathe after intimacy with him. If she refuses, she will be forced to do so. She is also forced to give up eating pig meat and the like, which is forbidden to Muslims. If a Christian woman accepts Judaism or, conversely, a Jewish woman accepts Christianity, she becomes forbidden for a Muslim. If she was married, then their marriage is dissolved, just as the marriage of a Muslim woman is dissolved if she leaves Islam and accepts a different faith. The Almighty says in the Koran (meaning): “Whoever chooses a faith other than Islam, it will never be accepted, and in the future life he will be among the losers” (Sura Alu Imran, verse 85).
The connection between a Muslim woman and a Christian - the view of religions
People of different faiths live in Russia, so marriage with a person of a different faith is not uncommon. Although from a religious point of view, such a union is undesirable, and in some situations, impossible.
Islam
The Koran says that “Do not marry [Muslim women] to pagans until they [pagans] believe.” This means that Muslim women can marry infidels who have converted to Islam.
A Muslim can marry a girl of another religion if this girl is chaste and accepts her husband’s way of life. But a Muslim woman cannot marry a man of a different faith, otherwise her marriage will be considered unrecognized, and she herself will be considered unfaithful.
According to the Muslim way of life, the husband is the head of the family, and the wife follows him everywhere and obeys him. If she marries a non-Christian, she renounces her religion, foundations, and values.
Christianity
Although Christianity is considered a tolerant religion, it also does not welcome connections with people of other faiths. Moreover, such unions were prohibited until 1917. The Holy Scriptures even say that mixed marriage is evil and a great sin.
A few words about a man who wanted to marry a Muslim woman
A few words about a man who wanted to marry a Muslim woman.
All of the above applies mainly to women marrying a Muslim man. The reason for this is quite simple. The fact is that the situation is the opposite, that is, the marriage of a Muslim woman with a Christian is categorically prohibited not only by Orthodoxy, but also by Islam. According to Sharia, such a union must be recognized as illegal and adulterous. Therefore, usually believing relatives strongly oppose the conclusion of such unions. If it does take place, the husband is required to convert to Islam.
But we had to deal with such a situation in our pastoral practice. One Orthodox young man married a Tatar woman, who herself was a very mediocre Muslim, but all her relatives were believers. As a result, all the wife’s assurances that as soon as her lover marries her, she will immediately be baptized turned out to be empty, and, as a result, the marriage was deeply unhappy. The husband and wife constantly argue, accuse each other of all mortal sins, and now this family is on the verge of divorce. But for the husband, communication with a Muslim woman did not benefit his soul at all. He lost the opportunity to become a priest, and his life went awry.
But, unfortunately, the reality that a priest has to face is often even worse. As a result of such unions, most often, wives and husbands very quickly become worldly, zeal for salvation is replaced by opportunism, and often outright apostasy occurs. Even if the spouse does not convert to Islam, his faith still weakens as a result.
Instead of Sunday services, such spouses begin to go to theaters and fashionable “parties”, just to please their “half”. Children of such parents grow up as cynics who do not believe in anything. Which, however, is understandable, because they have a living example of hypocrisy before their eyes!
This phenomenon is not new at all. “Back in the 3rd century, he was noticed by a magistrate. Cyprian of Carthage, when in his book “On the Fallen,” wrote that the reason for the large number of apostates during the persecution of Decius was that “they enter into marital alliances with infidels; the members of Christ offer to the Gentiles.”
So why does this happen? Is the Orthodox faith weaker than unbelief or any false religion if a marriage with an infidel leads to such disastrous results? The answer is that God does not help those who directly violate His will.
And how can a marriage be peaceful where one approves of jihad and praises martyrs (even if not in Russia, but in Israel), and the other tries to learn love for enemies? How can a Muslim who considers icons to be idols tolerate them in his home? How can a Christian live in an apartment that has not been consecrated by a priest, where the devil, summoned by his “spouse,” prances freely? How to isolate yourself from constant ridicule of your faith and close your eyes to the obvious absurdity of Islam? Some argue that one must be able to “respect the faith of another.” But how can a person who lives in truth respect lies? This is stupidity and apostasy! God says: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” (Isa. 5:20) This curse falls on the compromisers!
What is a mixed union
Modern society is tolerant of mixed marriages - if young people love each other, then religion will not interfere with them. But the older generation condemns such unions and does not recognize them.
Of course, in a mixed union many difficulties will arise:
- family rejection of the bride/groom;
- condemnation by society - especially by fanatical believers;
- disagreements due to differences in mentality when choosing a lifestyle, in understanding the role of the spouse/husband in the family, and raising children.
Conflicts arise over the question of which tradition to raise children in - Muslim or Orthodox. Relatives on both sides are also trying to “save” their grandchildren from someone else’s faith - since they failed to “save” the children.
But with all this, mixed marriages teach tolerance, understanding and respect for other cultures and religions, and contribute to the reconciliation of different ethnic groups and even countries. Children in such a family are more open and versatile - they combine two cultures at once, perhaps even know two languages spoken by their parents.
How marriage is performed
According to the canons, a Muslim woman cannot marry a man of other faiths. Therefore, traditional is in no way possible. However, if the guy agrees to accept the Muslim faith, then the ceremony can be performed. Only the future wife should ensure that her newly-made husband complies with the rules of Sharia.
If the groom does not want to change his faith, then a wedding with such a person is considered invalid in the Muslim community and discredits the girl’s honor. The bride can also accept her husband’s faith and perform a ceremony in Christian traditions.
There is a third option: ordinary painting in the registry office without any bias towards one religion or another. This is what many modern couples do, for whom differences in faith do not matter much. Even people raised in one faith or another may not accept religion and be atheists. Then the marriage is between two equal citizens of the country.
How is divorce accomplished?
Divorce occurs according to the traditions according to which the marriage was concluded. If a Muslim marriage took place, then the man must make a statement - tell his chosen one three times “I’m getting a divorce.” After this, the wife must wait until she has had three menstrual cycles before she can remarry.
In a Christian marriage, divorce is strictly prohibited. Although in recent years the church has been making concessions and debunking marriages, it is doing so only for serious reasons and reluctantly.
Well, if the spouses did not bind themselves to any rituals, except for a civil act in the registry office, then the divorce occurs with the help of a written statement and the consent of both parties.
The marriage of a Muslim woman and a Christian has many obstacles and difficulties associated not only with religion, but also with the worldview of each of them. Before entering into such a mixed marriage, you must be absolutely sure that you are ready to spend your whole life with this person.
What happens if you marry a man of a different faith?
If the family strictly honors the Koran, then first of all the girl will receive condemnation from her parents and all relatives. In this case, it will be possible to achieve the favor of relatives only if the groom converts to Islam.
Besides this, there are a few other important points. First of all, these are children. Muslims believe that a man should pay great attention to raising a child, while in Orthodox families this responsibility is mainly placed on the shoulders of the mother.
It is the father who must teach the children the Koran, raise him so that he is a faithful follower of Allah. And not just learn the Koran, but show by your own example how to worship it. Can a Christian do this? The answer is obvious.
Most likely, a Muslim woman will have to get used to the fact that she will be the main one in upbringing, all the main responsibilities in this regard will belong to her.
There will also be disagreements in the future regarding what religion children should have. Constant quarrels, conflicts, misunderstandings can destroy relationships.
