What icon is used to bless a son for marriage?
Most often, modern parents give their blessing to their son for marriage directly on the wedding day, before he goes to pick up the bride. We will tell you below about how to bless your son with an icon before the wedding, what to say.
According to tradition, parents give their son a blessing for marriage with the icon of the Savior Pantocrator, one of the most significant for believers
The Icon of the Almighty Savior helps to strengthen one’s faith, overcome life’s trials, and receive support in difficult situations.
What icon to give for a wedding
Very often, newlyweds receive wedding icons from their parents as a sign of their blessing and parental guidance for their future family life. Whatever icon the newlyweds are given for their wedding (there can be several of them at once), they must have an icon of the Mother of God.
Often they give paired icons of saints who became famous for their pious lives and marital fidelity: Peter and Fevronia of Murom, the holy martyrs Adrian and Natalia, and Saints Joachim and Anna.
Wedding icons should definitely be preserved. If a young family prays, then the images can be hung or placed so that prayers can always be offered in front of them; if the young people have not yet come to the Faith of Christ, then the icons need to be wrapped and hidden until the time when they believe.
Wedding blessing prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, prayers for the sake of Thy Most Pure Mother, hear me, Thy sinful and unworthy servant.
Lord, in the mercy of Your power my children (names), have mercy and save them for Your name’s sake.
Lord, forgive them all the sins, voluntary and involuntary, that they committed before You.
Lord, guide them on the true path of Your commandments and enlighten them and enlighten them with Your light of Christ, for the salvation of the soul and the healing of the body.
Lord, bless them in the house, around the house, at school, in the field, at work and on the road, and in every place of Your possession.
Lord, protect them under the shelter of Your Saints from a flying bullet, arrow, knife, sword, poison, fire, flood, from a deadly plague (atomic rays) and from vain death.
Lord, protect them from visible and invisible enemies, from all troubles, evils and misfortunes. Lord, heal them from all diseases, cleanse them from all filth (wine, tobacco, drugs) and ease their mental suffering and sorrow.
Lord, grant them the grace of Your Holy Spirit for many years of life, health and chastity.
Lord, increase and strengthen their mental abilities and physical strength.
Lord, give them Your blessing for a godly family life and godly childbearing.
Lord, grant me, Thy unworthy and sinful servant, a parental blessing on my child at this time of morning, day, evening and night for the sake of Thy name, for Thy Kingdom is eternal, omnipotent and omnipotent. Amen.
History of appearance
In the old days in Rus', young people asked their parents for their wedding blessings. Blessing in this context meant approval for marriage and permission for a son to marry and a daughter to marry. Marriage without parental blessing was not approved by society and was considered unhappy.
In addition to moral support, the blessed young people also received material support for their marriage, in the form of a dowry, inheritance, titles and privileges. Moreover, this material component of parental blessing extended to the future offspring of the young, to their children.
Therefore, not a single wedding in Rus' was complete without such an important ritual. And the groom, without the approval of his parents, did not decide on either matchmaking or a wedding.
With the change in lifestyle, customs invariably change. Such changes also affected the ritual of parental blessing of a son before the wedding. Previously, the groom received it twice - before and after the wedding. Today, more and more often, young people limit themselves to one thing - a blessing with a loaf of bread on the threshold of the groom’s house (or in front of a restaurant, cafe, banquet hall), before the wedding feast. And sometimes they completely miss this wedding stage.
Modern newlyweds are no longer so attached to popular beliefs. They are not afraid of the thought that without parental prayers their marriage will be doomed. Young people often live together before registration, without informing their parents and without asking their approval by submitting an application to the registry office.
However, this does not apply to all couples. And those who cannot imagine their marital union without a wedding in church also try to receive a parental blessing.
How to properly bless the newlyweds after the registry office
After registration, the groom’s parents meet the groom’s parents on the threshold of their father’s house with an icon and a loaf of bread. In Rus', dough has long been considered a symbol of fertility and prosperity.
There are wishes for peace and goodness, understanding and family well-being. There is a Slavic tradition when the mother of the groom put on an inverted sheepskin coat and met the newlyweds in it. Along the way, she showered the newlyweds with wheat or oats, which promised the new family wealth and many children.
The groom must carry the bride in his arms across the threshold of the new house so that she can live well there. After the blessing ritual, parents invite everyone to the festive table.
The father leads the newlyweds around the table three times and invites them to break the plate. Young people must step over the fragments so that their lives can go on without quarrels and illnesses.
Why you need to bless your son before the wedding: 5 reasons
A sign of respect and love for parents.
By asking for a blessing, a kind of family farewell, the son shows his parents his respect, thereby giving them the opportunity to feel their importance. In the complex system that is the family, such a connection between generations, based on love and reverence, is the foundation, the basis of the foundations.
Accepting your son's choice.
By giving a blessing, parents accept the fact that their son has grown up, become a man, a husband, ready to take responsibility for his family. At the same time, they agree with the son’s choice - the one he wants to introduce into the family as his wife, the mother of his children, their future grandchildren.
Sign of parental support.
Obtaining the parental approval of the chosen one is psychologically very important for a son, no matter how old he is. This is like additional proof that your choice is right, because it was blessed by people with family experience whose opinion is valuable to you. The son thus receives parental support in his family endeavors and confidence in his abilities.
A way of rallying and unifying.
Any joint ceremony is based on ritual actions that have been verified over centuries and are designed to unite the participants and not separate them. The blessing of parents before the wedding clearly demonstrates the connection between generations and gives rise to new family traditions.
Providing spiritual support to a young family.
Since ancient times, it has been believed that the energy of parental prayer “establishes the foundations of houses.” With their blessing, the parents pass on good luck, power and spiritual strength to the “newborn” family.
The procedure for parental blessing of a son
The process includes two stages.
The first blessing is before the registry office (wedding), before leaving the parental home.
It is performed in the absence of strangers. The parents stand opposite their son. Father holds an icon. He first baptizes his kneeling son three times, after which he passes the icon to his mother. She also baptizes her son with it three times. Then the son-groom must cross himself and kiss the holy face.
Note: according to Orthodox canons, the sign of the cross is always done three times and from top to bottom, from right to left.
If parents do not observe religious rituals, the ritual with icons is replaced with an oral blessing. In this case, the parents give a short parting speech, wishing their son well and happiness.
The second blessing is after the registry office (wedding).
In this case, parents greet their son with bread and salt (loaf) along with his young wife. The bride and groom receive a blessing together as a couple - without prayers, but with parting speeches and congratulations on their marriage.
The newlyweds are invited to “break bread” - to taste the wedding loaf by biting or breaking off a piece of it. According to tradition, the bride and groom treat each other with their pieces, having first dipped them in salt. It is believed that in this way they make a promise not to “salt” each other anymore, that is, not to upset each other.
Those present at this ceremony usually keep a vigilant eye on whose piece was larger and who ate it faster. According to signs, he will rule in the house and become the head of the family.
In the old days, after breaking the wedding bread, the newlyweds divided the loaf among the guests. Parents were treated first, then close relatives. The bottom of the loaf with coins baked in it was given to the musicians. And all that was left was for the “Cossacks” - children and teenagers who did not participate in the wedding feast, being outside the threshold of the house.
Note: if the groom does not have one of the parents, godparents can play their role. If the newlyweds do not live with the groom’s parents in their home, then the blessing ceremony is held in front of the restaurant where the wedding banquet is organized.
How to bless the new mother of the bride
The first blessing ritual is performed by the bride's parents on the wedding day. Agreeing to their daughter's upcoming marriage, they bless her. Only after this the daughter brings bread to the matchmakers - a symbol of general agreement.
Parental blessing can be obtained:
- verbally, speaking words, standing face to face,
- A written blessing is written by the mother of her daughter, which is subsequently burned. Throughout the week, the prayer “After the blessing of the child” is read.
- a written blessing is written by the daughter under the dictation of the mother, and then the prayer “For your child” is read and the letter is burned.
An icon and an embroidered towel are prepared in advance. The newlyweds stand in front of the mother of the bride, who holds the icon (the face is facing the young couple). The mother’s words sound like an instruction to her daughter and her betrothed. At the end, the mother baptizes her daughter three times, then her future son-in-law and places a triple joint cross on the couple. The father performs similar actions. The young people cross themselves and kiss the relic. In the event of a wedding, the icon is taken to the church.
If the ritual is performed while sitting, the newlyweds kneel on the wedding towel.
What parents say when blessing their son: examples of speeches
At the first blessing, it would be appropriate to read a kind of prayer with the icon.
The text of the “prayer” of the groom’s mother: “Just as the church is indestructible and strong, faith is strong and sweet mead, so ... (son’s name) and ... (bride’s name) were strong and inseparable. We haven’t been without each other, we haven’t lived apart for a minute or a day since that day, when I read the slander. Amen. Amen. Amen".
You can bless in your own words, giving parental advice to your son who is starting his own family.
Examples of parental blessing of a son before the registry office (wedding):
- Dear son, we bless you and give you guidance for your future family life. May she be happy, in love and mutual harmony. May troubles and misfortunes pass you by. And your union will be blessed with the birth of strong and healthy children.
- Dear son! We bless you for a strong and happy marriage. Live for good. Honor and take care of your wife. Be with her in joy and peace, harmony and love. May God give you support and protection on your family journey!
- Dear son! You are on the verge of important life changes. Let them be happy. May your marriage be strong and your family life long and joyful. Let children's laughter sound in your home, and let prosperity and peace reign.
Examples of parental blessing after the registry office (wedding):
- Dear... (names of the bride and groom)! Please accept our blessing for your marital union! May the Lord protect your family from evil and misfortune. Be faithful to each other, take care and love each other. You... (name of the groom) protect and protect... (name of the bride) from the difficulties of life and unnecessary tears. And you... (name of the bride) be... (name of the groom) support in all matters. And then peace and harmony will settle in your home forever.
- Dear children! At the beginning of your family journey, we bless you with this wedding loaf - a symbol of prosperity, health and wealth. May your life together be as sweet and enjoyable as this rich and delicious bread. Let your children be strong and rosy, like the crust on this loaf. And may your family have as much warmth and love as there is in this wedding bread. Advice and love to you!
Words of blessing from mother to daughter before wedding: text
Dear daughter! I am so glad to see your sparkling eyes, full of love and happiness, your sincere smile and inexhaustible energy - this is the greatest happiness for a mother! Today is a new, happy stage in your life, and I really want this happiness to last for many years. Listen to my parting words - take care of your husband, be loving and gentle, fill your life together with ease and joy, be a supporter for your spouse in difficult moments, be wise and understanding. May your future spouse make you the happiest woman in the world, may you know what it is like to be a beloved wife, dear mother, happy grandmother. Preserve your love, your sincere and pure relationship, increase your happiness, because so many joyful and bright days await you together! I bless you, my dear!
Icon selection
The images of the Kazan Mother of God and the Almighty Savior are usually chosen as images for blessing, both in separate frames and in the form of a “fold” - images connected to each other.
Traditionally, the Mother of God is considered the patroness of the whole world, but especially of women and mothers (future and present). Therefore, the bride is blessed with the image of the Kazan Mother of God. Jesus Christ is the patron of everyone, but the male image usually accompanies the blessing of the groom.
Both newlyweds are greeted with either two icons or the one that the parents consider more suitable for the ceremony.
Note! If the images were not purchased in a church store, they must be consecrated in the temple before the ceremony! The best option is for parents to purchase paraphernalia when visiting a temple or holy monastery in order to pray for their children.
In a wedding ceremony, the blessing ceremony can be performed once, twice or more. In the first case, parents meet the newlyweds with the icons after the registry office before the walk or after the walk, at the entrance to the banquet hall (another place of the feast).
Sometimes, for separate parting words for the young, personalized icons (of the patron saint), a guardian angel, and family images are used.
In families that follow the canons of Orthodoxy, a slightly different order of blessing is adopted:
- future newlyweds receive a general blessing from both parents during matchmaking and at the conclusion of the engagement;
- the bride and groom are blessed separately by their parents (or older family members) before leaving home;
- at the entrance to the temple, the newlyweds are greeted by a priest with an image, which is also used for the wedding;
- With icons, older relatives greet the newlyweds after the wedding and after, at the entrance to the new house.
From the point of view of the church, only baptized people can receive and give a blessing with an icon!
At the time of the ceremony, the mother or father holds the icons in special towels, purchased or embroidered by the bride before the wedding. In the same towels the images are placed on the shrine or stored.
After the wedding celebrations are completed, the icons remain with the newlyweds; they are placed in the “red corner” in a religious family or stored in a secluded place. Subsequently, these same images are used to bless newborn children and grandchildren, during family prayers, and to “pray” sick and endangered family members.
Where are the young blessed?
It was already noted above that the bride and groom receive two blessings on their wedding day:
- the first from the bride's parents before the trip to the registry office (church);
- the second from the groom's parents after the ceremony.
Accordingly, the answer to the question of where the blessing ceremony should take place is simple. The newlyweds receive their first parting words in the bride's parents' house, and the newlyweds who have already taken place receive the second blessing in the house of the groom's parents. Since in the modern world they practically no longer “walk with the whole village” in a hut in the parental home, parting words from the father-in-law and mother-in-law are often received in a restaurant where a banquet has been ordered for the guests.
Prayer
During the ceremony, it does not matter which of the parents will hold the towel with images - the father or mother - and which of the pairs of parents (bride or groom) will perform the ceremony. The main thing is that the person giving the blessing is a baptized and, if possible, a believer.
The parting words of the newlyweds are accompanied by a prayer:
(A modernized version of the prayer is presented)
How should the bride's young parents be blessed?
The first blessing, held before going to the registry office or church, is held at the bride's home, after the groom has passed all the tests. It can be carried out in different ways.
- If you follow all the rules and traditions, then only the bride and groom, parents and godparents are present at the blessing.
- Modern rules are not so “strict”, so everyone participating in the ransom and guests are invited to the blessing ceremony.
The blessing itself goes as follows. The girl’s father gives the mother an icon of the Mother of God, the mother takes it with a towel and gives a parting speech to her daughter and son-in-law, after which the father speaks. At the end of the speech, the girl’s mother baptizes her daughter with the icon three times, then her son-in-law three times. In conclusion, the two young people are baptized with the icon three times, thereby the mother-in-law recognizes that they are a couple. Next, he gives the icon a kiss, first to his daughter, then to his son-in-law. Young people must cross themselves before leaning against the image.
When should a blessing ceremony be performed for a son?
The ideal option is the blessing of a son on the day of engagement of young people, when they become the bride and groom. This day is symbolic and of great importance for parents, because today their already adult child made, perhaps, the most important decision in his life - to link his destiny with the woman he loves.
However, modern realities are such that parents can find out about their son’s imminent wedding after submitting an application to the registry office. In this case, a full-fledged blessing ceremony is possible, for example, before lovers decide to take another important step in their lives - a wedding.
If the parents do not want to wait until the wedding day, you can bless the child for marriage before the marriage - after the ransom or even the day before the wedding, when the groom is overwhelmed with excitement and the support of his parents is especially important for him.
How to bless the groom's new mother
The groom receives the first blessing from his parents on the day of the celebration, before going to pick up the bride. He stands opposite his parents, and may even kneel.
The father baptizes his son with the face of the Savior and speaks warm words. The mother performs the same actions.
The second time the parents of the young man perform the ritual after registration, when the couple arrives at the groom’s house. The newly-made husband and wife are greeted with the main icons and a magnificent loaf of bread.
The young man’s mother directs her words to her daughter-in-law, drawing her attention to the fact that their home is open to her. She wishes her wisdom and patience, because it is the wife who acts as the caretaker of the family.
Ritual icons are kept in the house in the most honorable place: they are hung in the corner or above the family bed. They ward off quarrels, troubles and misfortunes.
The essence of prayer
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We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts, our dear children! At the beginning of your journey into adulthood, we treat you to a wedding loaf, symbolizing the well-being of your future family. We wish your life to have as much warmth as this loaf of bread. May your home always be bright and welcoming. Advice and love to you!
***
Dear bride and groom! We wish you happiness, health, mutual understanding and prosperity. Live in the name of love and goodness. We bless you for a strong family and a happy marriage!
Blessing a son for a wedding is not just warm words - it is also an appeal to God to grant happiness to the newlyweds.
Before giving instructions to the young, read the prayer:
For well-being in marriage, you can pray to Saints Nicholas the Wonderworker, Peter and Fevronia of Murom, Paraskeva Pyatnitsa, Ksenia of Petersburg, Matrona of Moscow, Adrian and Natalya.
How to read a prayer correctly?
When is a son blessed before a wedding? You can do this the day before, during the engagement, or before the newlyweds go to the registry office.
And according to ancient canons, this is done twice: the first time - in the father’s house, before the groom goes to pick up the bride, the second time - before the wedding. Your words will become parting words for the newlyweds, protection from evil words and a prayer for their well-being.
You will need to take an icon of the Kazan Mother of God or Jesus Christ. People turn to the first image to resolve troubles in the family, problems with children, and to find harmony in marriage. According to tradition, the list from this icon has long been used to bless the bride and groom before the wedding. It is believed that this helps to build a strong and happy family.
Often, to bless a son for a wedding, they use the image of the Savior Almighty, or the Savior - the most common image of Christ. In one hand He holds the Gospel, indicating the correct path in life, and with the other hand he blesses the one who looks at the image.
Parents should say parting words to their son and his chosen one on their wedding day, cross their children three times, wishing them a happy family life.
Deeply religious people can read an Orthodox prayer or say the following words:
- The newlyweds, kneeling, must cross themselves and kiss the face on the icon. The presence of strangers is undesirable.
- If you are planning a wedding, then this image should be taken with you to church.
- The parting words given to a son for his wedding, spoken from the heart, will be heard by the Lord. The blessing of the son on the wedding day will protect and preserve his family, and the icon with which the newlyweds were blessed will subsequently be kept in their home and serve as a reminder of the solemn date for many years.
***
Son! Please accept our blessing for your marriage. May the Lord protect your future family from misfortunes and troubles. Be faithful to your wife and love her. Help her in all matters, be a reliable support for her. And let harmony, devotion and faith in each other reign in your home. Peace and prosperity to your family!
***
Dear (son's name)! We bless you for creating a friendly and strong family. Honor and protect your wife. Live in friendship and peace, harmony and love, for the joy of people and for your own happiness! May there be prosperity and peace in your home, and may children’s laughter soon be heard in your family.
Every mother should know how to bless her son before the wedding.
So, the solemn wedding day is approaching. The mother’s blessing of her son before the wedding plays a special role, so it must be prepared in advance, every word carefully thought out. You will have to spend some time writing your commencement speech. As a rule, words of blessing of the son are said before the wedding after the newlyweds’ walk, before entering the banquet venue. At the same time, the mother meets the newlyweds with a loaf and salt, while the father holds icons.
However, this option is slightly simplified. According to ancient canons, a mother’s blessing is given to a son twice before a wedding. The first time - in his father's house, the second - together with his young wife (as described above).
A few rules
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Beloved son, (name), live happily and harmoniously with your wife. Respect and forgive each other, keep peace and warmth in the family. Remember that all troubles recede from those in whom love reigns. Take care of her from the first days until old age. Live in prosperity, and may God bless you.
***
Our dear children! We bless you for creating your family. May she be prosperous and happy. Let harmony and love always accompany you on the path of life, and in times of adversity we wish you to become support and support for each other. Advice and love to you!
***
You, children, (name of the groom) and (name of the bride), listen to the good word - a parental blessing for a strong family. Live well and in harmony, have children, strengthen your family with strength! Live strong and consistent so that your years do not pass in vain - for the joy of people, for the consolation of parents. We bless you!
