A wedding is a holiday for two young people who have decided to unite their destinies. At different times and in different countries, this celebration took place and takes place with its own characteristics, depending on the traditions and rituals that are present in society. In our country, a special place at a wedding belongs to the parents of the groom, because they are the ones who meet the newlyweds after the wedding ceremony. But how to greet the groom’s young parents is determined by each family independently, based on its life experience and existing traditions.
Where and when should the groom's parents meet the newlyweds?
In those days when there were no such institutions as the registry office, the wedding ceremony was held in the church. And after the wedding, the groom’s parents met the newlyweds in their house, since it was customary that the young family would live in the husband’s house.
Today, the meeting of newlyweds after the registry office has become more common. This is due to the fact that not all young couples get married, and sometimes they postpone the wedding ceremony in the church to another day. The newlyweds are still greeted by the groom's parents; more precisely, the main role in holding this event belongs to the mother-in-law.
Another change that modernity has made to the ancient custom is that now parents meet the newlyweds at the entrance not to the groom’s house, but to a restaurant or any other establishment where such an important event is celebrated. After all, previously, weddings were always held at home, but now preference is increasingly given to restaurants, so going home just so as not to violate the ancient custom is not entirely reasonable.
What traditions exist for newlyweds to be welcomed by the groom's parents?
There is no single opinion on how to meet the groom's young parents, so everyone chooses the option that both families and their close relatives prefer. The main goal of this event is to bring prosperity to the newlyweds in their future lives.
One of the most common customs is the meeting of the bride and groom with bread and salt. Some parents prefer to greet their children with glasses filled with wine. There are also people who believe that the main attribute of a wedding is the wedding loaf, and it is this that the mother of the groom should hold in her hands when the newlyweds meet. Believing parents prefer to greet young people with icons.
An integral part of the wedding event called “meeting of the newlyweds” is the showering of the bride and groom with grain, sweets, rose petals or confetti. This ceremony is performed by the mother-in-law, sometimes guests join her.
Blessing the daughter before the wedding
It is believed that parting words from a mother to her daughter before marriage have a special protective power. This ritual is an integral part of our culture. Despite this, it remains one of the most touching and exciting wedding traditions. A blessing from a mother to her daughter means that she fully accepts her choice, and on the wedding day she wishes only happiness to the newlyweds. But we should not forget that the words are addressed not only to the bride, but also to the groom, because on this day they become one.
According to custom, on the wedding day the groom must come for the bride, undergo a series of tests and pay a ransom for her. Only after this is he allowed to see his betrothed, and it is here that the moment of blessing comes. If several days of celebration are planned, then this ritual is carried out only on the first day, because the features of the second wedding day imply more relaxedness, fun and entertainment.
In our culture there are two ways of doing this blessing:
- Traditional, Orthodox. In this case, the canonical rules for its conduct must be observed. All participants in the ceremony must either be baptized or cross themselves before it begins, otherwise it is prohibited to begin. Mandatory attributes are an icon for blessing the newlyweds and a towel, with the help of which everything happens.
- Current. Popular at many modern celebrations. It is not necessary that only Christians be present here; guests can be of a wide variety of religions. The ritual boils down to a beautiful speech from parents to the young. Even at themed events, such as Slavic-style weddings, the religious component is omitted.
In the first case, the ritual is carried out only with the participation of the newlyweds, parents and godparents in a separate room. The mother of the bride should hold the icon with a towel facing the newlyweds. At the same time, she should not worry about what to say at the moment when she begins to bless the newlyweds with the icon. There are no special formulations to pronounce; it all depends on the sincerity of the parents and their eloquence. But it will be obligatory for the mother to cross her daughter three times, then her future son-in-law, then both, recognizing them as a couple. The father in this case can do the same. After this, the young people should cross themselves and kiss the icon.
The second blessing, according to Orthodox tradition, takes place after the registry office in the banquet hall. They are met by the groom's parents with icons and a loaf of bread and keep their word. In accordance with the wedding ceremony, the mother-in-law pronounces a blessing on her daughter-in-law as if she were her own daughter. After such a speech, the young people kiss the icons and take bread and salt.
What do parents need to prepare to welcome the newlyweds?
It is important for the groom’s parents to think in advance about what rituals they will perform when meeting their son and daughter-in-law, and to prepare all the necessary attributes for this. Moreover, it is better to do this in advance, so that at the most crucial moment it does not turn out that something is missing at hand.
So, first of all, think about what words you will use to greet your children. And if you are afraid of forgetting your speech, write it on a piece of paper. To carry out the rituals you will need icons, bread and salt or a loaf, two towels - one for the bread and the other for the feet of the newlyweds, two new glasses, champagne, as well as grain, candy or rose petals, which you will sprinkle on the newlyweds when entering the restaurant .
How newlyweds should behave when they meet the groom's parents
The newlyweds, approaching the groom's house or the entrance to the restaurant where their parents meet them, and stepping onto the towel laid out for them, must first bow to their parents three times and cross themselves (if they meet with an icon).
Next, if they are greeted with a loaf of bread or bread and salt, break off a piece of it and let each other taste it. At this stage, you can determine who will be the head of the new family - it depends on who broke off a piece of bread or loaf faster. If the spouses managed to do this at the same time, then you can be sure that there will be harmony and order in everything in their home.
After the parents serve the newlyweds glasses filled with champagne, they must mark them with the sign of the cross three times, which will protect them from possible troubles. Next, the bride and groom should sip a little champagne from the glasses, pour the rest behind their backs, and then break the glasses. After the meeting ceremony, the newlyweds can safely head to the hall to continue the celebration.
Words from the mother-in-law when the newlyweds meet
According to ancient traditions, the first words of congratulations to the newlyweds on the creation of a new family are pronounced by the mother of the groom. What exactly the first words of the mother-in-law at the wedding will be depends on her wishes. Some people prefer to learn poetry for this purpose, some cook in prose, and some say the words that came to mind at the moment the newlyweds met, without preparing in advance.
It's up to you to decide what to do! However, it is worth noting that it is better to think in advance about what exactly you will say when the bride and groom meet, so as not to find yourself in an awkward position in front of the newlyweds and guests. Of course, learning poetry, firstly, is not something everyone can do, and secondly, due to excitement, you can easily forget the rhymed lines. Therefore, it is best to prepare a short one in prose.
The words of the mother-in-law at the wedding could be, for example, the following: “Our dear children! I would like to congratulate you on your marriage and wish that the union you have created will be strong and filled with happiness. Remain as beautiful and happy as you are today for many years of your family life!” After the first words, the ceremony of meeting the newlyweds will take place depending on the traditions chosen by the parents and newlyweds.
Parting words to the groom before the ransom from his father and mother
The parents of the groom, as well as the bride, say words of blessing and parting words several times. The very first time this happens is when young people announce their intention to start a family - on the day of their engagement. And right before the wedding - even before the son leaves the house to go after his future wife.
Religious
Just as faith is strong and indestructible, and mead is sweet, in the same way let the family of (the son’s name) with (the name of his bride) be indestructible by any adversity, strong in faith in each other, sweet in their love. Let them be inseparable, starting right from this day and this minute - only together, so that not a moment apart from each other! Amen.
Parting words
- Son! We wish you to create a happy, strong family. Take care of your future wife, love her devotedly. May your relationship be built on honesty, mutual understanding and the love that is shining now in your eyes. Be happy!
- Beloved son! We bless you for creating your family. May God protect her from all misfortunes, from storms and evil. Be faithful, love your wife. Protect her with a strong shoulder from the difficulties of this world, let her receive help from you in all matters. May there be harmony and love, devotion and faith between you for happiness for yourself and joy for other people. Peace, peace and endless happiness to you!
- (Groom's name), son! All earthly blessings and peace to you! Let your home be a full cup and let love and mutual understanding always reign there. Having harmony in the family helps preserve love for a long, long life. We wish you healthy and strong children, so that they grow up and make you and your wife happy and help you. We wish that the sun shines brightly for your family and that the clouds do not roll into the sky. May God protect you and everything that is dear to you, and you, in turn, respect and take care of your wife. Be always happy!
In the next video you will find two examples of blessings from the parents of the bride and groom before the wedding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9Xhe0oQ9KU
Blessing of the newlyweds icons
All parents dream that their children’s marriage will be strong and long, so the most exciting moment in the wedding is the blessing. Believing families use icons to carry out this ritual.
In addition to having the oldest icon at home before handing it over to her future husband, and the groom’s mother blessing her son before leaving the house, the newlyweds also meet with an icon or two (depending on the traditions in a particular locality) at the entrance to the restaurant.
In most cases, the newlyweds are greeted at the entrance to the restaurant by the groom's parents with two icons - the mother-in-law holds the icon of the Mother of God, and the father-in-law holds the icon of Jesus Christ.
wedding and blessing are not a guarantee of family happiness
Parental and wedding blessings cannot be perceived as formalities, beautiful or magical rituals that automatically provide the newlyweds with a cloudless family life. Future spouses need to remember that Wedding is a great church Sacrament, a meeting with God. joyful This is a solemn event, but it requires a responsible and conscious attitude. With the wedding, the newlyweds invite Christ to their wedding and give Him a vow to build a Christian family. You can fulfill this vow worthily only by working hard and trusting yourself in God’s help. Otherwise, even a married marriage may fall apart.
Here's what Archpriest Andrei Tkachev says about this:
Priest Ivan Vorobyov notes:
Parental blessing will not help save the family, where instead of faith and love selfishness and indifference to God reign. The custom of blessing is based on the connection between generations and sincere hope for the help of the Lord and the Mother of God. On the other hand, the absence of a blessing does not at all condemn a young family to sorrow. The happiness of the spouses depends solely on their diligence in spiritual improvement.
Archimandrite Konanos (Andrey) compares marriage to a burning lamp:
Where can I get icons to bless newlyweds?
Where exactly to get the icons for blessing is decided in each family. You can use those with whom the groom's parents got married or the oldest ones, which, for example, she inherited from her mother, and she inherited from her mother or grandmother.
In addition, you can buy new icons; fortunately, today even special sets of them are sold, intended for blessing the newlyweds during the wedding. After the ceremony, the icons are placed next to the loaf, and at the end of the wedding, the newlyweds bring them into their home as a talisman.
Meeting the newlyweds with bread and salt
Many modern people do not know how to greet the groom's young parents with bread and salt, despite the fact that this ritual is quite ancient. After all, it has its roots back in the days when newlyweds lived in their husband’s house. With bread and salt, the mother-in-law welcomed her daughter-in-law into her house as a new tenant.
Nowadays, this custom has no practical significance, since most newlyweds live separately from their parents after the wedding, but nevertheless, many people like it, and they have every right to have their son and daughter-in-law meet in just such a way. “We welcome the newlyweds with bread and salt...” are the words said by the groom’s mother at the entrance to the house or any establishment where the wedding will be celebrated.
It is important not to forget that the bread is placed on the embroidered towel, and the salt is placed on top of the bread. Under no circumstances should the salt shaker be placed next to the bread, as this symbolizes poverty. And, of course, it is necessary to ensure that the salt does not spill, as this promises quarrels in a young family.
Parting words to the son and “new” daughter from the groom’s father and mother
From mother
Dear children! Today means a lot to all of us. I thought I was losing my son, but in fact I had found a wonderful daughter. Now my family has grown, this is also happiness. I bless you, live in harmony and appreciate each other. Let ringing laughter always be heard in your home, and let the smiles of two loving people give light. I wish you healthy children, to the delight of grandparents, to help mom and dad. Cherish the love!
From father
My dear son and (name of the bride), his wife. Thank you! Today has made me much richer - now I have a daughter. Son, look at this girl who has become your wife. She's beautiful. You must be worthy of her, be a protector and support. Love each other, children, keep your feelings for life. Then your life will be bright and clear, full of bright moments and quiet joy. You and your mother have our blessing, and the main thing is that you have each other.
Meeting the newlyweds with a loaf of bread and glasses of wine
In some localities there is a custom to greet newlyweds with a loaf of bread and glasses filled with champagne. However, until the time comes for this ceremony, few people think about how to greet the groom’s young parents with a loaf of bread and champagne.
So, for this you need to prepare a silver tray, new glasses, champagne, two wedding towels and a loaf of bread. The groom's mother greets the newlyweds with a loaf of bread, which must be placed on the towel. And the father at this time holds a tray with glasses and champagne, symbolizing the sweetness of married life.
A second towel is laid in front of the parents, which the newlyweds step on as they approach their parents. A towel is laid under the feet of the young so that their path will be as beautiful, festive, bright and clean. The meeting of the newlyweds with a loaf of bread promises them a rich and happy future.
Sprinkling of the newlyweds by the groom's parents
After the marriage, meeting and blessing, the mother of the groom can also perform the sprinkling ceremony. For this purpose, our ancestors used a mixture of young grain (rice, millet, oats), coins and sweets. Such “rain” symbolized wealth, prosperity and sweet life.
Today, it is no less common to see the mother of the groom greeting the newlyweds and showering them with rose petals. They symbolize beauty and eternal love, which, of course, all newlyweds dream of. Even more modern parents use confetti to shower the bride and groom. This method is no less beautiful, and the same wishes for happiness and goodness are invested in this ritual.
Whatever method you choose, it is important not to forget about the practical side of this ritual. So, it is worth keeping in mind that if you are showered with grain, sweets and coins, it is better to sprinkle them under your feet, otherwise the joy from this custom may be eclipsed by getting grain in the eyes or ruining the bride’s hairstyle.
Now you know how young parents greet young people in different localities and families. All that remains is to choose the rituals that are most suitable for you. However, no matter which of them you prefer, the main thing is that they are carried out with all your heart and your children like them. And then the wedding will be fun and unforgettable!
A wedding is a solemn and important moment in the life of the whole family. Preparation for it is different from the usual one, because it is not just registration, but a divine rite, where everything is subject to strict rules. In particular, special icons are needed to bless the young.
What is a wedding
In Orthodoxy there are only 7 sacraments, including marriage between a man and a woman. You should prepare thoroughly, because this is a shared journey for life. In fact, the blessing of the newlyweds used to always take place in the church; today, the ceremony with icons often becomes a separate event before the banquet. You can do it twice - once in the temple, the other for guests, if not everyone attended the wedding.
The actual blessing is not part of the ceremony; it is a centuries-old tradition. After all, before there was no separation between the registry office and the church; the church registered births, marriages and deaths quite officially. And now this is nothing more than a tribute to fashion, in most cases. This, of course, is sad, but this is how people can gain faith.
What icons are needed for a blessing before a wedding?
For a long time, specific icons were chosen to bless children who decided to get married. This is the image of the Savior and the Mother of God (as a rule, Kazan is taken). At the end of the wedding, they remain in the family of the young, in order to then pass on to their children. Therefore, you need to buy high-quality icons, with a wide frame, under glass. Prices for such images start at 2 thousand rubles. - quite a feasible amount, considering the total costs of the celebration. For the wedding you will need something else:
- Special candles (long and curly).
- Rings (regular gold ones are fine).
- Towels (two for icons, one for a loaf, one for a ritual).
It is also required to first register the marriage; both young people must have crosses and be baptized in the Orthodox Church.
Icon of the Virgin Mary
The Kazan image is one of the most famous; it is believed that it was he who defended Russia during the Polish invasion. This is a shoulder-length image of the Mother of God and the Child. Before the image, they pray for childbearing, protection of the home, and contact in case of any difficulties. The Kazan Mother of God is considered miraculous.
Savior Almighty
The Savior, depicted half-length, holds the Gospel and blesses the believers with his right hand. Jesus Christ is the merciful intercessor of all believers. A quotation from the Bible is usually written on an open book. You can read any prayers before it. The image of the Savior is usually used to bless the groom, and the Mother of God - to the bride.
Today folding ones are sold, the so-called wedding couple - these are two icons together that can be folded.
Blessing with icons before the wedding
Such a ritual also exists, it is performed at will. In the groom's house, he is blessed with the image of the Savior, the bride - with the icon of the Virgin Mary. With this, the parents give their consent to the marriage and call upon God’s help for the new family. There are also other rituals, but they repeat part of the church wedding, so they are not at all necessary.
The young man and woman must accept the blessing by bowing their heads or kneeling, then cross themselves and venerate the edge of the icon. You cannot kiss faces, only the hand or just the edge of the image.
Today, for many, these are simply meaningless actions, a tribute to traditions or a desire to please believing parents. In fact, the blessing of the father and mother plays a huge role. After all, God has entrusted them with responsibility for their children and given them certain authority over them. Therefore, the prayer of parents has great power and is valued before the Lord.
How to store wedding icons after
After the ceremony, the icons are necessarily handed over to the young people. From the moment of transmission they are considered a family heirloom. If the family is a believer, then they are placed in the red corner of the house (a specially designated place for the icon in the house), with a covering laid under them and a towel placed on a napkin.
In general, according to church rules, such images should be placed in the Eastern corner Nearby. At home with them they also place wedding candles, a candle or one that was used during the ritual of “candles for lighting the hearth.” By the way, there is a belief that the family lives in peace and love, such candles should be lit every year on their wedding anniversary.
If the family is not a deep believer and for some reason there is no place for holy faces in the house, then they should be carefully wrapped in towels and a special place should be allocated for their Lord.
storage is always with you!
Watch a video about how to properly bless your daughter or before your son’s wedding:
Before registration
The blessing can be carried out several times, it depends on the wishes of the couple, on local and family traditions. In the presence of all guests, as well as godparents, this can be done in front of the registry office.
One of the parents reads a prayer, then an icon is taken for a wedding blessing, and the bride and groom are blessed with it three times. The young people stand face to face and pray together with everyone else. Then they should express gratitude for the constant care, for agreeing to their union. After this, the guests also give a good farewell and throw in grain and small coins.
Icons as a gift from friends and relatives
Friends and relatives of the bride and groom can also give icons to the newlyweds. It is usually customary to give an image of those Orthodox saints who patronize a happy and pious marriage.
- For a wedding you can give an icon of Peter and Fevronya of Murom. This pious couple are the brightest personalities in the history of Orthodoxy. Peter, the second son of Prince Murom, was seriously ill, and he had a vision that the beekeeper’s daughter Fevronya could heal him. And so it happened, and after recovery, Peter took Fevronya as his wife. Later, when Peter inherited the throne, no one wanted to see the beekeeper’s daughter as a princess. Peter faced a difficult choice - he had to expel his wife. But he acted completely differently: he renounced the throne, money and power and left Murom with his beloved. They presented an amazing example of a calm and meek marriage in complete unanimity, and they were even ordered to bury them in a common coffin, separated by a thin partition. For many centuries, Orthodox people have been praying to them as guardians and protectors of the family.
- You can also give an image of the holy martyrs Adrian and Natalia. They are also prayed to as the patrons of godly marriage. Adrian suffered martyrdom for his faith, and his wife Natalia had to hide after his death, because they wanted to marry her to a pagan. But she remained faithful to her husband and faith.
- As a wish for long years of marriage to the bride and groom for their wedding, you can give an icon of the righteous saints Joachim and Anna. This holy couple not only protects and protects the young family, but also helps in the birth of offspring. Joachim and Anna are the parents of the Mother of God, and Anna became pregnant with a daughter, being already in old age, like her husband.
- An image of St. Cyril and Mary of Radonezh can also be given to newlyweds for a wedding. They were very righteous people, helped the poor, and strictly observed all the canons of the Orthodox faith. For this they were rewarded with the birth of an amazing son - St. Sergius of Radonezh.
- The martyrs Gury, Samon and Aviv are also considered the patrons of a happy marriage. They endured severe torment for their faith and died in different years, but on the same day. There is a lot of evidence that real miracles happened to people who prayed to these saints. An image of these three saints can also be given as a wedding gift.
- The holy spouses Zechariah and Elizabeth are also considered one of the patrons of marriage; their image can be given to a young couple for a wedding. This holy couple became the parents of John the Baptist, and the story of the conception of this baby is in many ways similar to the story of the birth of the Virgin Mary. John’s parents were also barren for many years, but for their fervent prayers and pious life they were honored to become the parents of the Forerunner.
It is difficult to list all the Orthodox saints who patronize a happy marriage. These are Paraskeva Friday, righteous John of Kronstadt, holy unmercenaries Cosmas and Damian, blessed Ksenia of Petersburg, Matrona of Moscow and many others.
It is advisable to purchase icons for gifts only in the church. But if it turns out that you purchased it elsewhere, be sure to take the icon to the temple in advance to consecrate it before giving it to the newlyweds.
Whatever icons you choose as a gift for a young couple, the main thing is that it comes from a pure heart and with good wishes. To ensure that the icon is given not just as a thing, but truly as a shrine, fill your gift with spiritual meaning - for example, order a magpie in the church for the health of the young.
How does the ceremony take place?
If it is decided to meet the newlyweds at the entrance to the banquet hall, you need to decide on the roles in advance. There are no hard and fast rules, there may be different options:
- The groom's father holds an icon, the bride's father holds a loaf.
- Icons (one at a time) can be held by either fathers or mothers on both sides.
- One of the parents is holding the image, another is holding a loaf, the other two are holding a glass of champagne.
Then the parents take turns saying parting words - here everyone focuses on what they consider the most important. Then the parents should bless the newlyweds with the icon. To do this, the sign of the cross is drawn in the air with the icon, only in a mirror image. If you are not sure, you can watch the video of how the priests bless you in the temple.
May God's mercy be upon the young!
Wedding blessing text
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, prayers for the sake of Thy Most Pure Mother, hear me, Thy sinful and unworthy servant. Lord, in the mercy of Your power my children (names), have mercy and save them for Your name’s sake. Lord, forgive them all the sins, voluntary and involuntary, that they committed before You. Lord, guide them on the true path of Your commandments and enlighten them and enlighten them with Your light of Christ, for the salvation of the soul and the healing of the body. Lord, bless them in the house, around the house, at school, in the field, at work and on the road, and in every place of Your possession. Lord, protect them under the shelter of Your Saints from a flying bullet, arrow, knife, sword, poison, fire, flood, from a deadly plague (atomic rays) and from vain death. Lord, protect them from visible and invisible enemies, from all troubles, evils and misfortunes. Lord, heal them from all diseases, cleanse them from all filth (wine, tobacco, drugs) and ease their mental suffering and sorrow. Lord, grant them the grace of Your Holy Spirit for many years of life, health and chastity. Lord, increase and strengthen their mental abilities and physical strength. Lord, give them Your blessing for a godly family life and godly childbearing. Lord, grant also to me, Thy unworthy and sinful servant, a parental blessing on my child at this time of morning, day, evening and night for the sake of Thy name, for Thy Kingdom is eternal, omnipotent and omnipotent. Amen.
Icons for blessing the newlyweds before the wedding was last modified: July 7th, 2021 by Bogolub
Not a single wedding can do without parental blessing, because this is an important rite that allows the newlyweds to enter into a pure and bright family life. Blessing of young parents
– this is a kind of transfer of a piece of family warmth from people who have already passed a certain path in life and can guide you on the right path. It is necessary to prepare for this ritual in advance. In this article we will describe in detail what it should be.
Rite of blessing of the newlyweds
carried out in ancient times. However, it used to be given much more meaning than it does now.
- The couple who decided to start married life without the blessing of their parents could not get married, they had no right to claim an inheritance. Even those around them treated such a couple unfavorably, so that she felt the whole burden of life without cleansing her soul in front of her parents.
- Those who married with parental blessing held the wedding in the house where the bride’s parents live. It was in this place that the young family asked for parental blessings for marriage in front of everyone present. Then they had to ask for another blessing from their parents before God (godmothers and fathers, who were necessarily invited to the wedding), from their closest friends, even from acquaintances, if they were allowed to attend the sacrament - in general, they had to ask for blessings from everyone who was invited to the wedding.
- In the church during the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds asked the Lord for blessings so that he would grant them a long and happy life, as well as health and prosperity.
In general, the ritual of blessing during the times of Kievan Rus was carried out not only before the wedding. Before any important event in life, people always asked God for blessings in the person of a church clergyman. If he received approval, then the person received confidence that he would succeed in the business he planned to accomplish.
Why you need to bless your son before the wedding: 5 reasons
1. A sign of respect and love for parents.
By asking for a blessing, a kind of family farewell, the son shows his parents his respect, thereby giving them the opportunity to feel their importance. In the complex system that is the family, such a connection between generations, based on love and reverence, is the foundation, the basis of the foundations.
2. Acceptance of the son's choice.
By giving a blessing, parents accept the fact that their son has grown up, become a man, a husband, ready to take responsibility for his family. At the same time, they agree with the son’s choice - the one he wants to introduce into the family as his wife, the mother of his children, their future grandchildren.
3. Sign of parental support.
Obtaining the parental approval of the chosen one is psychologically very important for a son, no matter how old he is. This is like additional proof that your choice is right, because it was blessed by people with family experience whose opinion is valuable to you
The son thus receives parental support in his family endeavors and confidence in his abilities.
4. A way of rallying and unifying.
Any joint ceremony is based on ritual actions that have been verified over centuries and are designed to unite the participants and not separate them. The blessing of parents before the wedding clearly demonstrates the connection between generations and gives rise to new family traditions.
5. Providing spiritual support to a young family.
Since ancient times, it has been believed that the energy of parental prayer “establishes the foundations of houses.” With their blessing, the parents pass on good luck, power and spiritual strength to the “newborn” family.
How does the modern ritual of blessing the newlyweds take place in front of the registry office?
Unfortunately, modern newlyweds do not always ask their parents for blessings before going to the registry office. This tradition has lost its meaning for many. However, most young people who get married still adhere to an important ritual.
But not everyone knows how it should be carried out correctly:
- All people invited to the ceremony must be mentally prepared for the sacrament, which should be performed in the bride’s house after her ransom by the groom.
Important! All those present must be baptized. Otherwise, they need to leave the house while the parents bless their children for family life.
- If both parents are young or one of them is missing, then they can be replaced by the closest relatives - brothers, sisters, grandparents, godparents. If they are completely alone, then devoted friends can bless them, whom the young people should ask about this.
- It is very important to know which icons for blessing the newlyweds
you need to purchase in order to carry out the blessing ceremony. There had to be two of them:
- An icon of the Savior, which is presented to the groom after the ceremony. It is believed that this shrine will bring joy and prosperity to the home and will lead young people along the pious path. She must be the first to be brought into the house where the newly made husband and wife will live. The mother of the groom blesses the newlyweds
with this icon . - An icon of the Mother of God, which is given to the bride after the blessing. It is believed that this shrine will protect the home of the newlyweds from grief and troubles and will give the newly-made family children. The mother of the bride blesses the newlyweds
with this icon .
Important! Consider another important point regarding the question of who buys icons to bless the young
. These must be the parents of both the groom (they buy the icon of the Savior) and the bride (they buy the icon of the Mother of God)
.
Nowadays, churches sell folding icons - these are two icons combined into one. The parents of the young couple can buy it together. Although this is not a very important point. The main thing is to be friendly at the time of purchase and think positively.
- The blessing of the newlyweds with an icon
must be carried out with towels, with which the icons must be covered, because they cannot be taken with bare hands. - At the moment of blessing, the future husband and wife should kneel. At this moment, parents can say any words of blessing to the young
, the main thing is that they come from the heart (it is not necessary to learn poetry, prose, etc. for this purpose), and then describe the young with icons of a cross.
What do they say when blessing the newlyweds?
? Traditionally, the speech is: “Our beloved children! May your marriage be filled with love and happiness. We bless you for a long and happy married life. Live together, respect each other, appreciate and forgive. May the cup always be full in your home, may God give you children who will fill your and our lives with happiness, hope for a bright future, and love. Try to carry your sincere feelings throughout your life. Increase your love every day, keep in your hearts the warmth and sincerity with which they are filled today.”
- After the blessing, the newlyweds leave the house, but the father of the bride must walk in front of them, holding one of the icons in front of him. The groom's father must complete the chain, carrying the second icon in front of him. The icons are then brought to the ceremonial banquet and placed near the loaf. The newlyweds should keep them as a family heirloom to pass on to their firstborn on his wedding day.
- Mothers of the newlyweds and invited guests should sprinkle them with sweets, coins, and wheat when the newlyweds leave the house. This ritual symbolizes that everyone present at the holiday wishes the newlyweds well-being and happiness in their married life.
Parting words to the bride before the wedding ceremony
Traditionally, this happens before the wedding itself in the parental home. Before going to the Wedding Palace, the father and mother of the bride address their two children - their daughter and her groom - with parting words and wishes.
What to tell your daughter
Before the groom arrives, mom and dad can bless their daughter separately.
General “words of encouragement”
So you have grown up, daughter, and are about to fly away from the family nest. May your choice be correct, and may your family be friendly and strong. Respect your future husband, because now he is your support and protector, love him with all your heart. Daughter, we wish you a happy life in goodness and prosperity, healthy children who will delight both you and your husband, and your dad and me.
Words from the mother of the bride
Daughter, I am happy that you have found your path in life. She will now be associated with (name of the groom). While raising you, I tried to give you as much as possible - knowledge, feelings, teach you everything that a real woman should be able to do. Therefore, I am sure that this guy is a worthy person. Be happy in this marriage. May bright love always accompany you two, and may there never be discord in your family. Be, daughter, the happiest and most beloved woman in the whole world!
Wishes from father to daughter
Daughter! You are my only child and you know how much your mother and I love you. We are very worried about you now, and we will always be worried. It’s hard for me to give you to someone else’s house, but I believe in you and your choice. Therefore, I will try to accept your future husband as my own son. Be a faithful and kind wife to him. May there always be peace and mutual understanding in your new family. And the worries of creating this kind atmosphere of warmth and tranquility fall on your fragile shoulders. Be strong and patient, know that love can overcome all life's adversities. May your new family be happy!
Our dear children! We bless you for creating your family. May she be prosperous and happy. Take care of the tenderness that you have. Live for each other in the name of goodness and your love. Be happy together! Dear (names of the young people), our dear children! We want to say our final words of encouragement before you become husband and wife. We wish you to create a strong family, for the joy of everyone - happiness for you and joy for the people! Let harmony and love always accompany you on the path of life, and in times of adversity, become support and support for each other. Be always happy! Children! (Names of newlyweds)! Today a new path begins for you - a common one. May it lead you to a world full of love and tenderness, family happiness and all-consuming goodness! Let the light of loving eyes help you overcome all difficulties, and let the warmth of hearts beating together and merging into one warm you in any bad weather. Love each other, appreciate the feelings you have now. Then the new family will be so happy that it’s just a sight for sore eyes. Blessings! Advice and love to you, children! Today you are starting your family. You, daughter, on this day also give us a son
His happiness is now as important to us as yours, because it will be common to both of you. Divide your love between two, thereby increasing it and elevating it
Let each of you appreciate the other, help in everything, understand and accept him. We wish to preserve the blessed fire that lit your hearts. It will help on the difficult path of family life, making it brighter and easier. Happiness and prosperity, joy and peace to your family!
How does the ceremony of blessing the newlyweds take place at a wedding?
The second part of the blessing of the newlyweds occurs after the registry office
, when a newly-made husband and wife come to a festive banquet after a walk. Here, too, several important rules for conducting the ceremony should be observed:
- Before entering the hall where the celebration will be celebrated, you need to lay out a red carpet, popularly called the “carpet of prosperity” (if there is no carpet, you can use a natural fur coat, which will symbolize wealth). Young people should step on it when leaving the wedding limousine. It is believed that the one who first steps on it will be responsible for the well-being of the family and, accordingly, lead it. It is important that none of the guests step on the path before the newlyweds arrive. It must be new and clean.
- The parents of the newly-made family should stand at the entrance to the banquet hall. Here they will also need to say a few words. As a rule, the groom’s mother should hold a loaf of salt on an embroidered towel in her hands (it doesn’t have to be handmade, it was just done in the old days), the bride’s mother should hold an icon of the Virgin Mary, the bride’s father should hold a bottle of champagne in his hands, and father of the groom - glasses for the newlyweds.
Important! If at the time of the ceremony one of the parents takes the wrong attributes of blessing into their hands, it’s not scary. Previously, this was important, because weddings were celebrated in parents' homes. Since banquet halls or restaurants are now chosen for celebrations, this tradition has begun to be treated a little more simply. But it is worth noting that the professional toastmaster who will lead the holiday will definitely tell the parents correctly what and who should take.
The parents' words at this stage of blessing can be more congratulatory. Again, out of excitement, everyone can forget the texts memorized in advance, so it is better to initially come up with only 2 sentences of wishes, or write yourself beautiful words on a postcard and read them. There is no need to worry, because there will still be many different occasions ahead to make a fiery speech and express everything that is in your heart.
The blessing ritual is a wonderful tradition that should be observed by people marrying for great love. Be that as it may, the power that the words of parents on the wedding day are endowed with is enormous. On the day when their children legitimize their relationship with their significant other, parents are especially excited and anxious, but they have something to say. Do not neglect the old and good tradition of our Orthodox people. May your marriage be sacred, may it be protected by the higher powers and prayers of your moms and dads!
Mother of the bride at the wedding
A daughter's wedding is always exciting. According to an old Russian custom, a mother blesses her little blood for a new life. The ceremony is carried out after the bride price ceremony, immediately before the marriage registration or wedding. Mom takes the newlyweds to a separate room and lights two thin candles, blessing the children for family life. Afterwards they stew and intertwine together, inextricably, as the destinies of two loving people should be intertwined.
In addition, the mother of the bride has a lot of troubles and concerns associated with the wedding:
You need to organize a feast together with the groom’s mother, order and decorate the restaurant, work out the list of guests and the menu. Or, if you decide to celebrate at home, then prepare delicious, festive dishes; On the wedding day, mom should come early if she lives separately
She, along with her friends, participates in the process of transforming an ordinary girl into a fairy-tale princess, a beauty queen in an amazing dress, with stylish hairstyle and makeup; At a wedding, the mother should look impeccable, because parents have one of the main roles in this holiday, and the closest attention of those present will be directed to them. Therefore, it is advisable to work together to choose an outfit that is suitable in style and ideally suits your figure.
It can be either a dress or a trouser suit - modern wedding traditions are very liberal in this matter. On the wedding day, the mother also needs to take care of discreet, neat makeup and hairstyle; One of the main responsibilities of a mother is choosing a wedding dress and accessories together with her daughter, thinking through the theme of the future wedding and sending out invitations. She participates in outfit fittings, selects the decor of a banquet hall, or supervises the work of hired specialists; if you are planning a vintage wedding, and your mother still has a veil, jewelry or accessories from that significant day when she got married, they can be used. This move brings people closer together and speaks of strong family traditions.
If the mothers of the bride and groom are able to find a common language already at the preparatory stage, this will help in the future to establish warm, family relationships between families. Joint shopping and atelier trips, making wedding decorations, and participating in decorations bring us closer together and put us in a positive mood.
How to bless newlyweds with an icon
As the day of the sacrament approaches, the parents of the bride and groom become increasingly worried about properly blessing their children. Often, after the groom “buys” the bride, the newlyweds are taken to a separate room, where the bride’s parents perform a blessing ceremony, thereby giving permission for the marriage. They bless not only their daughter, but also her fiancé. The parents, standing opposite the bride and groom, hold in their hands the image of the Kazan Mother of God, and speaking parting words, they baptize the bride and then the groom three times with the icon of the Most Holy Theotokos. The young, after applying the sign of the cross, venerate the icon. Having received the parental blessing, the bride and groom move towards a new life. When leaving the threshold, they are greeted by guests and sprinkled with wheat and coins. After registering the marriage, before the feast, it is the turn of the groom’s parents to bless the newlyweds. They bless the children with the image of "Jesus Christ" and then serve them bread and salt.
Icon for newlyweds
They blessed the children with the icon of the Kazan Mother of God and the icon of the Savior
In fact, now there is no exact answer to which icon should be used to bless.
But it has long been a tradition that the bride’s parents bless the bride with the icon of the Kazan Mother of God or any other icon of the Mother of God. The icon of the Mother of God was considered the guardian of the hearth.
The icon of the Kazan Mother of God is the most revered among Orthodox Christians. Thanks to the miracles that occurred after prayers at this image, believers chose it as the main holy face to bless their children
The groom's parents - an icon of the Savior or St. Nicholas the Pleasant.
The image of the Savior could be passed on from generation to generation; they ask for protection and protection for the future family, giving it joy and protection in needs
Many people believe that children should be blessed with an heirloom that has been passed down from generation to generation.
It is believed that each time it acquires more and more value and meaning. This relic served as a talisman for the family; they prayed before it both in joy and in sorrow.
Others believe that this is not so necessary, that it is better to buy icons in the temple for blessing.
