Today we will talk about how to behave in a cemetery - how to behave correctly in a cemetery. What does right mean? This means that there are special laws that everyone must follow. Failure to comply with these laws leads to dire consequences for the one who made the mistake. As they say, ignorance of the laws is no excuse.
There are certain rules of behavior in the cemetery. There is nothing sophisticated or complicated about them; they are very simple and obvious things to many. However, as a practicing magician, I meet people who have problems precisely because of violation of these rules of behavior in the cemetery. Therefore, I decided to write this article.
There will be no special rituals or practices in it - the article is intended for ordinary people who are far from practicing magic.
I will answer questions about how to properly care for the dead, what can and cannot be done in the cemetery, what to bring with you to the dead and what can be taken from him, how to care for the grave, etc. In general, these are ordinary things that, once you read about them, you will never be mistaken in the future.
So, how to behave correctly in a cemetery. You come to visit your dead relatives and friends at the cemetery in order to honor their memory. These are usually pre-planned trips, so you may well be prepared for such a trip.
Funeral preparations for the deceased
The tradition of leaving certain things next to the deceased dates back many centuries. Previously, it was believed that these items would be useful to his soul when separated from everything earthly. Others, on the contrary, left in the coffin things that were important to the person during life. The main dogma of Christianity is the purification of the soul, separation from earthly things, and the presence of numerous things does not allow you to leave the familiar world. But still, the Church approves when several necessary items are placed in the coffin of the deceased: an icon, a prayer, a pectoral cross.
Previously, a warrior was given a military sword in a coffin, a blacksmith was given a hammer, and a needlewoman was given a spindle.
First, the body of the deceased is prepared. To do this, a washing procedure is carried out; it has many features. “Dead” water should not be poured into the sewer. Soap is left to protect loved ones from various kinds of negative influences. It’s not scary if you had to wash it, not even a remnant of soap remained. It is not necessary to save the soap on purpose.
The deceased must go to God with a pure soul and a body cleansed of impurities. Then he is dressed. Things should also be clean, preferably new and carefully ironed. Additionally, the body is covered to the waist with a special kind of cloth - a shroud with painting: special symbols that are of great importance for the believer. First of all, it must have a crucifix on it.
“By order of the church,” the deceased must hold an icon; the placement of images of Jesus Christ, the Mother of God or Saints in the tomb symbolizes the person’s faith. This is how the angels recognize the soul of the deceased when they meet him after death. So that you don’t have to look for the answer to the question of which icon is placed in the coffin of a woman or a man, you can purchase a funeral set. It includes what may be needed during preparation and funeral services for the deceased: a cross, candles, an icon. Its price is low, which makes the set accessible to people of different categories.
Preparation for burial
Things for the deceased in the coffin. Icon in hands
When choosing an icon for a funeral, you should immediately look for other accessories/attributes that are mandatory:
- bed - has a sacred meaning (represents the eternal sleep of the deceased, his eyes are also closed), it should be white, and a sheet and pillow are prepared;
- cross;
- flowers: placed along the body; before burial, relatives remove them, but you don’t have to take them out - leave them with the deceased (everyone’s business, there are no prohibitions).
List of optional things:
- wedding ring;
- book;
- toy - for a child;
- comb.
You are allowed to put another thing, preferably small in size. There is also a difference where you leave the items. Non-essential items should be kept near the deceased. Mandatory items should be kept close to the body. The cross must be worn on the body, but it is also left in the hands. It is believed that the Holy Face should be placed on the chest, but it can also be placed nearby.
Image of the Virgin Mary to a woman
If a relative places an icon in the coffin of a deceased person, this is not considered a sinful act. After all, even during the burial of Seraphim of Sarov, the face of the Mother of God “The Appearance of the Most Holy Theotokos to the Most Holy Sergius of Radonezh” was left. The shroud also contains images of saints, Jesus Christ. For women, people usually place an icon of the Mother of God. This is an unspoken rule, but there is no strict prohibition on choosing a face. It is permissible to leave with the deceased after death an image of the Holy Martyrs, whose name the deceased bears.
Icon of the Protection of the Blessed Virgin Mary for a woman
The face of the Savior to a man
To repose the soul, an image of Jesus Christ is left next to the deceased. It is not a sin to bury a person together with the icon of the Savior. But if relatives wish, it can be obtained before burial. Then you will need to decide what to do with the icon from the coffin:
- leave at home, store next to other icons;
- give to the Church forever;
- leave it in the temple for a while - while Sorokoust is read over it, then the owners take the image.
Icon of Jesus Christ for a man
Standard faces
You can not limit yourself only to the face of the Mother of God and the Savior. It is allowed to put another icon in a man’s coffin. Possible options:
- the image of the Saint whom the man revered;
- personalized icon whose name was given at birth;
- image of a guardian angel.
Image of a guardian angel
Rule of behavior at the cemetery No. 1 - properly prepare for a trip to the cemetery
First of all, pay attention to your clothes. Perhaps short skirts and trendy coral color suit you, but! You are not coming to show off yourself, but to honor the dead. The colors of the cemetery are black and white. Black is preferable, as it is also considered a mourning color. If you find it difficult to find suitable clothes in these colors, then simply do not dress brightly. The dead don't like bright colors.
Choose muted tones from your wardrobe. In addition (and this is especially important!) your legs should be completely covered - pants or a long floor-length skirt will be the most appropriate clothing. This is not a fashion, this is a rule of conduct in a cemetery. This is exactly the moment that is fatal for many. Therefore, I repeat - your legs must be completely covered!
Never wear open shoes when visiting a cemetery. Always choose closed shoes, even if it's hot outside. As a last resort, take with you a replaceable pair of closed shoes, which you will put on before entering the cemetery and take off immediately upon leaving it.
The most extreme option for spontaneous trips to the cemetery when you are wearing sandals is to put regular shoe covers or plastic bags over your shoes. This is also true in humid weather when you are wearing shoes that get wet.
Why are closed legs and feet an undeniable rule of conduct in a cemetery? This is a property of the world, a property of dead energy, which many have heard about, but many do not use. “The dead draws the living along with it.”
This means that dead earth, dust from dead earth, settling on your body, leads to the imposition of dead energy on your living one. The property of the world is that the living sooner or later becomes dead, but the not dead becomes alive. Therefore, this energy will influence according to its natural property.
Usually, such an imposition of dead energy on a living person leads to illness in the latter. Which one exactly? Most often the legs suffer - heaviness, fatigue, congestion (in the circulation of blood and lymph in the legs).
But generally speaking, dead energy is deposited due to its gravity in the three lower energy centers (chakras), and the symptoms may correspond to disturbances in the functioning of each of them. I talk about this first of all because this is the most common mistake due to ignorance of the rules of how to behave in a cemetery.
Looking ahead, I will immediately outline here one more rule of behavior in the cemetery. Or rather, after visiting the cemetery. Don’t bring cemetery soil into your home with your unwashed shoes from the cemetery!
This mechanism is often used for spoilage (“ What is spoilage ”), so take off your shoes before the front door, rinse your shoes thoroughly to remove dead soil, and then bring the shoes home. This is not difficult to do, but by doing this you will protect yourself and your loved ones from damage to the house due to the fact that you simply did not know that you cannot behave this way with a cemetery.
How to position the icon correctly
The rules for preparing the deceased for the transition to another world through cremation or burial are the same. The image is also laid out according to one of the algorithms:
- the holy face can remain on the chest if there are no plans to kiss it, which is also possible (when burying the deceased, if the coffin is closed);
- the icon is placed on the side of the body to make it easier to touch it when saying goodbye to the body; kissing the holy face is recommended after the relative says goodbye to the deceased (touches the crown on the forehead);
- if the icon is large, it is placed next to the coffin, and images of the saint are not left directly next to the deceased.
The icon should be located as close to the body as possible and remain nearby throughout the entire funeral service. Then you can remove it or leave it.
When church canons prohibit an icon in a coffin
Sometimes you cannot even bring a holy image to the deceased. The image of Jesus Christ, the Mother of God is necessary for the funeral ceremony. Their face is not brought to funerals and wakes under certain conditions. The faith of the deceased and his deeds during life are taken into account:
- suicides;
- God-fighters;
- unbaptized;
- baptized, but renounced the faith during life;
- representatives of other faiths;
- Christians of another denomination;
- atheists.
The Holy Face should not be carried during a funeral procession.
Attributes instead of icons
According to Orthodox canons, specific attributes are left to the deceased. Some of them symbolize a different religion, a tendency to perform magical rituals, others help prevent the posthumous rise and walk of people who lived an unrighteous life:
- Easter bread;
- aspen cross;
- incense;
- blackthorn;
- poppy;
- blessed herbs.
Aspen cross
How to behave in a cemetery - rule No. 3
Walk along specially made paths or paths in the cemetery, do not step on the graves, do not step over them or jump over them - the dead really do not like this. I don't just don't like it. It is also impossible to behave this way in a cemetery because a particularly aggressive and restless dead person may “follow the trail” you left on his grave. This will not do you any good, so be careful, especially when making your way through the cemetery in snowy weather.
I apologize to those for whom this article evokes emotions of rejection due to the primitiveness of the rules described. I'm not writing this because it's a fun topic to talk about. Some people really don’t know how to behave in a cemetery - simply no one explained it to them, and then I meet such people at consultations about magical negativity and look for the cause of their illness or life problems. Therefore, I consider it necessary to directly describe in detail how to behave correctly in a cemetery and point out the most general rules of behavior in a cemetery - even such primitive information can warn against many, already significant, problems. So, let's continue reading about how to behave in a cemetery.
The task of the icon in the days of the wandering of the soul
If the icon remains in the coffin, it can help the deceased during the transition to a new life. It is believed that the soul overcomes a difficult path after death and until the moment when it appears before the Lord. When she leaves her body, she is greeted not only by her Guardian Angel, but also by demons, each winning her over to her side. Then the final separation from the body occurs, which takes up to 3 days. Up to 9 days the soul is liberated from consciousness, the subconscious disappears. This allows the spirit of the deceased to free himself from attachments to the earthly world.
The soul goes through ordeals for up to 40 days. She bears her cross, and it is important what a person’s life was like, because he has to look at the deeds of the world. An acquaintance with hell occurs, and heaven also appears to the soul. She may be taken to one of the places after the transition process is completed. So that Satan does not attract the soul of the righteous to his side, prayers for the repose are read, and relatives light candles. The remaining holy face next to the deceased performs the same functions. If someone close to you took it, it is believed that it will be more difficult for the soul to overcome the trials given to it.
The soul appeared before the Lord
Question-answer section
What to do with the icon from the coffin after the funeral service?
Expert opinion
Lantsova Kristina
Esotericist
There are 2 options: leave it with the deceased, nail up the coffin with an image of Jesus or the Virgin Mary inside; take it out and send it to the temple of the Lord, where the face will be located separately from the rest. If the relative nevertheless left it in the coffin, the task becomes easier. You won’t have to decide where to put the image that was lying next to the deceased.
Is it possible to leave the icon in the coffin, what will happen?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
If the icon remains in the coffin, this does not pose a threat to the relatives and the deceased himself. There is no need to do anything in addition to what the Church recommends during burial. The one who placed the image of the Saint in the coffin did the right thing, because this image will make the path of the deceased easier. According to the canons of the Orthodox Church, this is how it should be.
Is it possible to take an icon home from the coffin after the funeral?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
It is generally accepted that nothing should be taken from the tomb - this can cause illness, death, etc. But the image of Jesus and the Virgin Mary does not belong to such attributes. On the contrary, if relatives do not know where they usually put the icon taken from the deceased, they can take it home. It is placed next to those that already exist. Periodically, a candle should be lit in front of this image.
Home iconostasis
What to do with icons of a deceased relative?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
You cannot throw away holy faces. It is also not recommended to leave them in a room where no one lives; the apartment will be rented out. The age of the images must also be taken into account. For example, inherited images from the 18th century or even the 15th and 16th centuries will not withstand temperature changes. So that they can look good, and the image does not fade, you need to give the face of the Saint to the temple. An alternative option is the Tretyakov Gallery, where the image will be restored, the writing on the gesso can be preserved, and in areas of loss, on the contrary, according to the description, additions will be made that will not distort the author’s painting. If this option is not suitable, you should give old icons to antique dealers; they can be bought.
Where to put the icon from the coffin of the deceased after the funeral service?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
Several options are offered: give it to the temple, leave it at home. Moreover, if you still plan to keep the Holy Face at home, you can first ask a church minister to keep it in the church for a short time. Sorokoust is read above it. The owner can then take the image home. When deciding what to do with the icon from the coffin, you should not be guided by fear, because this is a Holy Face, it cannot harm a person.
What does the icon for repose look like?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
There is no such thing as an icon for repose. During the funeral service for the deceased, an image of Jesus Christ, the Mother of God or another Saint is taken. Outwardly, it is also impossible to distinguish it from others, for example, from a funeral icon. It is not written for what purpose it can be used. The difference lies in the actions that are performed during religious rituals.
How to behave in a cemetery - rule No. 5
Usually people bring rags with them to the cemetery to wipe the monument from dirt and dust. Dear, these rags should not be your personal old things that you no longer need!!! Do not wash the monuments with your underpants or the socks of your living relatives! I'm not kidding - I know that this happens out of ignorance. Why you can’t behave like this in a cemetery, I wrote above. I will also note: knowing this rule of behavior in a cemetery, you should not use it maliciously for the purpose of causing damage, because for damage of this kind there are certain conventions and safety rules, without knowing which you can share the fate with your victim.
This rule of behavior in the cemetery also applies to other things brought from home. Do not take a broom from home for cleaning the area as it is old and unnecessary. Spare no expense, buy a new broom especially for the cemetery and leave it there. In general, do not take things from home for the cemetery - the same vases for flowers, old rags, dishes for the deceased. Buy a new one. It is allowed to bring to the deceased those things from home that only he used. For example, a cup from which only the deceased and no one else drank can be brought to him at the cemetery, especially if he really loved this cup.
Please remember the following rule of behavior at the cemetery - take all the things that you brought with you back from the cemetery with you. If these are used napkins and similar garbage, throw it into a special elevator in the cemetery, but do not leave objects containing your biological material on dead ground, do not litter. This is the case when being cultured is simply necessary for your own good.
The opposite rule of behavior in a cemetery is also true - things from the cemetery should not be taken home. Remove the trash from the grave, leave it at the cemetery dump. If you take something for some special reason, leave something in return; otherwise it will be more expensive.
It often happens that a cemetery has its own sources of water - wells or taps. Use this water for cleaning the grave and watering flowers and plants in the cemetery. You should not drink such water or wash your face with it; for these purposes, bring water with you from home.
Reviews
Every time at a funeral we leave a holy image for the deceased. They never took it away. Our grandmother is responsible for these traditions. She always says that the only thing the deceased needs is a cross and an icon. The rest is tinsel, revered by the living, but of no use to the dead.
I am calm about taking the image of a saint from the tomb. So far I have only encountered this once. I thought it would be scary later, but no, I understand that this is a shrine, there is no need to be afraid of it.
I don’t leave anything at home that needs to be brought from the funeral. She left the scarf that was being distributed at the dacha, then burned it when 40 days had passed. I don’t take any sweets from there or an icon; the energy of the cemetery is quite strong. My family and I did not keep the image of the saint from my grandfather’s coffin; we gave it to the temple.
How to behave in a cemetery - rule No. 4
When they come to the cemetery, among other things, people look after the graves of their loved ones, clean them, and keep them clean. Please pay attention to this point - the dead do not like it when their things or what belongs to them is taken away.
Therefore, even when plucking yellow grass at a grave or removing garbage, explain to your deceased relative that you are doing this to maintain cleanliness, nothing more. And be sure, if you take something away, put something in return. When you clean up, you leave behind the treat you brought. When picking up a broken vase, be sure to replace it with a new one, and so on.
There is one more point that is important to consider in order to behave correctly in the cemetery. It happens that car keys or a pack of cigarettes fall out of your hands in the cemetery. That is, you simply dropped some thing you need on dead ground.
According to the laws of the cemetery, this fallen thing is no longer yours. Therefore, if you don’t mind giving up a dropped pack of cigarettes, leave it there, don’t pick it up. If it’s a phone, car keys or something else you need, then when you take this thing back, put something in its place. It would be better if it were candy or some other treat.
