After the Death of a Loved One When You Can Get Married in Orthodoxy

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Good afternoon, readers of my blog, now we will comprehend the necessary topic for everyone - When You Can Get Married After Death. Perhaps you may still have questions after you read, so it is best to ask them in the comments below, or even better - get advice from practicing lawyers on all types of law from our partners.

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There is a huge probability that each of those who advocate postponing marriage thinks to themselves in a completely different way and is far from fundamental about what and how it will happen. However, each of them, most likely, thinks about what the other will say about it, and this is what stops him from taking specific actions. I make such assumptions based on knowledge of the laws of behavior of a crowd or an unorganized group. There is such a phenomenon as conformism. This is a special phenomenon in which a particular person outwardly agrees with the majority, while internally he expresses disagreement. If this is so, then one word from an authoritative person is enough for everything to change. Apparently, this person is your grandmother. As you know, old people always show a certain conservatism in their opinions and a high commitment to the traditions on which they grew up. That is why you need to direct all your efforts to ensure that your grandmother changes her irreconcilable position. To do this, of course, will be quite difficult. To do this, most likely, you will need to contact your local mosque and explain everything to the imam. It would be good if this person was old and had good experience in resolving such situations. One thing you need to understand is that everyone who advocates postponing the wedding until a certain date needs someone who can take responsibility. They are all afraid to speak up because they think that if something goes wrong, then all the trouble will fall on them. But if the local imam comes home and says that there is no need to postpone the wedding, that there will be no sin on them for allowing them to get married before a year has passed, then this will be enough for them. That is, they need someone to whom they can later refer.

The groom's parents are in a hurry, they, of course, understand our situation, but still, they want a wedding. They hoped that grandma gave the go-ahead, they made preparations, and now they don’t want to cancel everything. The only thing I don’t understand is how a grandmother can refuse her granddaughter just because she goes to live in another house, and she refuses only because people say bad things. And there won’t be a wedding as such, they’ll just read mawlid at home. I did istikhar, the Almighty blessed my marriage. But my mother doubts it, because they won’t even communicate with us after this. But now I don’t care... Together with my father, I lost my loved ones...

From a religious point of view:

The main thing is that you don’t rush into action, think everything over carefully. Maybe you yourself can find words that will seem convincing to your grandmother. Emphasize that due to all sorts of delays, your father was unable to attend his daughter’s wedding. Isn't this a signal that you can't put it off any longer? It is quite possible that your grandmother will have the idea that she may not be able to wait either. But it’s just not worth talking about it directly, it will suddenly be perceived as a threat. Emphasize that the father himself would have wished for this wedding and that delaying it now would not benefit him.

Therefore, if your case is similar to this, then, I personally think, perhaps you should move in together right away, but not register your relationship right away, and also not advertise your new status and new position too much.

They would understand that life, in spite of everything, still goes on, and, probably, it would be easier for their father to endure the hardships of life if not their mother, but another, loving woman was next to him. If there is a conflict between the children and the father, perhaps even more so, the father, as an older and wiser person, should postpone the decision to marry again.

When can you distribute the belongings of the deceased: advice from a priest, useful information

If you yourself find yourself in such a situation that someone gave you things that belonged to a previously deceased child, pray for his soul, but do not use the things or even leave them at home. You should not store such things, it can lead to a variety of consequences.

In Orthodoxy, the answer to the question of when it is possible to distribute the belongings of the deceased is direct and unambiguous - within forty days after death. In contrast to the pagans, who burned things belonging to a deceased person along with him on the funeral pyre, in Orthodoxy these things, as already mentioned, are dealt with completely differently. They are distributed as alms within forty days after the death of a person. However, as Orthodox priests say, nothing bad will happen if for some reason the relatives did not manage to distribute the deceased’s belongings during this period. This can be done calmly later, although it is better to do it within forty days, which, according to Christian tradition, are especially important for the soul of the deceased, whose posthumous fate is decided at this time. It is also possible to check with the priest in the nearest church when things can be distributed after the deceased.

When can you get married after the death of your wife?

A man who remarries within two years of his wife's death wants his wife to cook meals, keep the home comfortable, plan a social life, be hospitable to his family and friends, and bear financial and other responsibilities in her own family.

Remarriage after loss of loved ones

Marriage is a certain sacrament during which, by mutual consent of the bride and groom, their marital union is blessed. It is believed that after this ceremony, God's grace descends on them and mutual help and unanimity are achieved, and the birth and Christian upbringing of children is blessed. But there are cases when, for one reason or another, one of the spouses leaves this world. What to do if a person finds a new partner? Is it possible to get married after the death of the previous spouse?

Of course, when grief happens in a family, whether to have a wedding is a very difficult question. Misfortune comes in different sizes, but young people are usually always advised to wait at least forty days. In this case, it is a matter of ethics, and such a request is quite logical. What advice can we give to future spouses? Depending on what exactly happened in your family, you can act differently. Undoubtedly, if relatives advise you to wait, you should meet them halfway, even if the deceased was not such a close person to you. Grief must be experienced and waited out.

Most often it happens that the wedding after the funeral is simply postponed. Changing the date is quite simple - to do this, you need to submit your passports and a written application to the registry office. In this way, the wedding can be postponed for two months. If a longer period is required, the application should be withdrawn and a new one submitted later. As for ordered and paid for services, in this case it is necessary to conclude contracts where such nuances will be clearly stipulated. Wedding dresses can wait in the closet. And the invited guests will completely understand the situation.

Should the celebration be cancelled? Nuances

Few events in life can be predicted. Yes, of course, we can plan something, but we cannot guarantee that everything will go according to our plans. It also happens that a happy couple is looking forward to going to the registry office, wedding dresses are already hanging in the closet, waiting for their finest hour, all the guests have received invitations, the hall for the celebration has been booked and paid for, and suddenly...

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan considers the human psyche as a combination of eight vectors. A vector is an innate set of unconscious desires and mental properties that determine a person’s way of thinking, his value system and outlook on life.

Life goes on. And there are other people in it who may also have suffered in their lives and also need human warmth and support. Of course, the choice of a husband must be taken seriously - “try it on a hundred times.” But you shouldn’t be too categorical - all people are not angels.

How to cope with the death of a loved one

For some people, a strong feeling of guilt may arise simply because the passage of the mentioned stages is delayed for them. Friends and colleagues do not understand why he has been gloomy and taciturn for so long. This makes him feel uncomfortable, but he can’t help himself.

But when there is no faith, the death of a loved one can become an unhealed wound. For example, a person can deny a loss for six months, saying: “No, I don’t believe it, this couldn’t happen.” Or “get stuck” in anger, which can be directed at doctors who “didn’t save”, at relatives, at God. Anger can also be directed at oneself and produce a feeling of guilt: I didn’t love him, I didn’t say enough, I didn’t stop him in time - I’m a scoundrel, I’m guilty of his death. Many people suffer from this feeling for a long time.

Why do men experience the death of their spouse more easily?

Of course, it is not superfluous to ask why men are more likely to decide to remarry after the death of their wife than women after the death of their husband. The first reason is that men have a much wider range of options when looking for a new woman. And the demographic situation around the world is such that there are more women than men.

The second reason is that, as a rule, women have a wider social circle. Therefore, when the death of her husband occurs, it is much easier for a woman to adapt due to the fact that she has many connections, she constantly communicates, receives more support, and this plays a decisive role in the recovery process. At the same time, for a man, the center of the emotional sphere of life is his wife, so when he loses her, he finds himself alone with his loss.

The fact that men find a replacement for a deceased wife faster than women find a replacement for a deceased man is a paradox - this is the degree of affection of the spouses. Simply put, the more closely the couple were connected, the more one will grieve the loss of the other. As a rule, widowed women perceive a new spouse to replace their deceased husband as something not very right and feel guilty, and children often protest.

At the same time, if a man loved his wife very much, then he will enter into a new relationship much faster after her death, and this is a paradoxical situation. Psychologists note that a man loses much more after the death of his wife than a woman in a similar case. As a rule, it is the woman who is entrusted with caring for her husband when, for example, he is sick. She runs the house.

And, of course, we cannot exclude the domestic factor. As a rule, especially in families that have been living for many years, despite the worldwide trend towards equality, the woman is responsible for taking care of the household, routine and household chores. Therefore, when his wife dies, the man suddenly realizes that his life has changed, and in one moment. In order to restore balance and quickly return to his former life, it is much easier for him, rather than doing unusual things, to find another person to play the role of his wife, so they get into a relationship sooner.

Is it possible for a widower to remarry?

Church rules allow laymen to marry up to three times. It is emphasized that the first marriage is especially valuable in the eyes of God, and if people preserved it until the end of their earthly life, then their reward in Heaven is much higher than that of those couples who have experienced divorces. By the way, only those who have been married once and whose wife has not previously been in a relationship with anyone else can become priests.

All these rules apply to widowed people. After the death of one of the spouses, the other has the right to reconnect with family ties. In addition, the re-creation of a family by a widower or widower is not condemnable, like, for example, the marriage of divorced people. The Church has always understood the severity of widowhood and married single people.

Men cope more easily with the loss of their wives

There is a lively opinion in society that men, in principle, get married less often than women get married, and their desire for marriage is not as strong. Interestingly, widowed men are much more likely to marry again after the death of their wife than this happens to widows. American scientists conducted a study and found that after the death of a spouse, a quarter of men get married, while among women this figure is only 5%.

If we talk about just sexual relationships, then 54% of men find a new sexual partner in the first year, while only 7% of women are successful in this. After just 2 years, 61% of male widowers find a new passion, while only 19% of widows find a new man.

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Why do men marry again so quickly after the death of their wife?

Well, not all. There are no such people in my circle, but I can give an example of actors Keanu Reeves and Konstantin Khabensky who experienced the loss very hard. Although it would seem that with their fees, fame and a bunch of fans, it would be easier for anyone else to find a new life partner. Women stick themselves, but no.

Author: An acquaintance came to his wife’s funeral with a new “friend”. This is where everyone was shocked. And for 40 days, she already considered herself a full-fledged mistress in their house :-((People are different. Wow. I wonder what’s special in the minds of such people?? What do they feel in such situations.

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How long before you can get married after the death of your wife, the opinion of the church

25.09.2018

These are all escape mechanisms. Both men and women should endure this pain and not rush into choosing a new life partner, but men are more likely to get married again sooner. After the loss of a spouse, men need to be taken care of.

He may also expect her to contribute financially to their home, clothing, and medical care.

After the loss of a spouse, a woman usually wants to date a new man. She wants to be taken to dinner. She needs tender feelings. One good unwritten rule for widowed and divorced people: Don't make big decisions like selling your home for at least one year to make sure those decisions are wise.

Moving to another place means losing a familiar environment, which can have a negative impact on a person's self-identity. This is especially true for the woman who furnished this home. It's better to stay in the same house with warm memories.

Both men and women must complete the mourning period before even thinking about remarriage. For a man this is usually two years. Women need almost twice as much time. A wise couple will date for at least two years before making a final decision.

They then need a couple more years before marriage to settle business related issues, legal issues and family issues. All this is quite complicated. You may decide that getting married again isn't worth it. And it might be the best decision you've ever made.

Three risk zones for those over 50.

A million Americans over 50 get married every 4 years. There are three important issues that these people should seriously consider before getting married for the second time.

Adult children.

“Every child resists the remarriage of his parents,” says renowned psychiatrist Dr. Stanley Heller. The family structure has changed. One of the parents is missing. A new person has appeared.

Especially if there is a question about the division of property, children do not want to share it with a stranger. They also refuse to share their parent with someone else or feel like traitors to their own departed parent.

One of the greatest joys of a first marriage is children. In later years, they become the main source of emotional support in stress, illness, old age and death.

But in remarriages, adult children and their spouses can often become a source of problems. This can come as a shock to a newly married couple. According to Dr. Heller, problems are usually caused by children who feel that they did not receive enough love when they were growing up.

One couple who had recently gotten married at the age of sixty had an unpleasant experience two months after their wedding. Adult children from previous marriages came to stay.

The husband's children started a terrible row because of something the new wife did wrong. The wife's children came to her defense. Her husband didn't say or do anything, and she felt like he had betrayed her.

Such situations are not uncommon. Some adult children accept their parents' new relationships. Others are opposed. Their visits may be accompanied by hostility and tension. After visiting his children for the holidays, one man said, “I can’t believe my kids are acting like this.”

Children of widows and widowers, who are already over sixty, do not want to accept their parents' new spouses because of the inheritance. Even when all financial matters are carefully addressed in a will, money is still the cause of many problems. But it's all about feelings, not money.

The most important reason why adult children do not accept a new spouse is that they have not yet fully mourned their deceased parent. The thought of their mother or father remarrying hurts them and they react to it. After two years, adult children are usually more receptive to their parents' renewed romantic life.

Then, if a parent devotes two years to the relationship with his chosen one, this not only strengthens the future remarriage, but also contributes to the establishment of normal relations with the children of the new spouse.

Sometimes it is necessary for mothers to spend time alone with their adult children. One woman rented an oceanfront apartment for herself and her children. For two weeks, she and her children and grandchildren are together while her husband stays home to play golf.

Habits.

People who remarry bring with them quite a lot of baggage - children, money, material possessions, routine and habits. In more mature years, people are no longer as flexible to change as in their younger years. Habits and certain patterns of behavior have already been established over many years.

When two people in adulthood try to unite their lives, each will have to face the personal habits of their chosen one, which will not always seem pleasant. Since both tend to do things the way they are used to, habits they don't like about each other cause tension in the relationship.

This factor must be seriously analyzed before re-marriage. Examine each other's habits and tell yourself honestly whether you can live with them. Imagine that you cannot change them, and then be prepared to adapt to them in your marriage.

Age.

People over fifty must take their health seriously.

If both spouses are fit, active, and have healthy habits, they may be able to enjoy a few wonderful years together.

But both must recognize that after sixty years of age, some health problems are likely to arise, and this can radically change their lives.

However, in general, people who get married at fifty do so at a good age. The children already have their own lives, both are full of strength and energy, their sex life is active and fulfilling. Husband and wife work. The impact of retirement age has not yet arrived.

The age after sixty is obviously the most difficult to enter into a second marriage. This is the decade of greatest predictable change. Retirement is approaching. A man's sexual impulses are unstable, while a woman's desire is still at the same level. Changes in health are observed, energy becomes less and less.

People who marry at seventy have accepted the inevitable changes that come with advancing years and may marry for the sake of companionship. Those who marry at eighty risk finding themselves having to care for a sick spouse.

Remarriage for people in more mature years of life can be successful if several steps are taken first. First, you need to give yourself enough time to recover from the death of a spouse or divorce. It is important to let go of everything that could interfere with a new relationship.

Many issues must be discussed and resolved before setting a wedding date. Jane Hughes Barton says this: "Wait at least four years, but preferably longer, before remarrying to be sure that you are doing so consciously and intelligently."

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At the Council of Bishops they explained how many times you can get married

In Moscow, in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, a Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church was held, timed to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the restoration of the patriarchate. Almost 400 hierarchs of the Russian Orthodox Church from 20 countries took part in it.

Russian President Vladimir Putin addressed the highest clergy.

Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and All Rus' called this event historical - Russian leaders had never visited Bishops' Councils before.

The President emphasized the services of the Russian Orthodox Church to the state and society, and also expressed hope that the Russian Orthodox Church will help in the restoration of Syria, relying on its authority in the world.

Many of the decisions of the Council of Bishops that ended in Moscow over the weekend concern not only hierarchs, but also ordinary people.

Family and penance

The Council introduced changes in the practice of marriages between godfathers and mothers. Previously they were prohibited. We remember very well how the heroine of Leskov’s “A Seedy Family” changed her fate by inviting the young man in love with her to baptize the child.

This separated them forever: the successors (or godfather and godfather) could not become husband and wife.

After the Council, this became possible, but “with the blessing of the diocesan bishop,” said Vladimir Legoida, head of the synodal Department for Relations between the Church and Society and the Media.

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The Council also decided to take into account all marriages registered in the registry office when marrying spouses. Previously, a person could be married in a civil marriage three times, but get married for the first time. After the Council, civil marriages will also be taken into account.

“It is not recognized as possible for marriages registered in accordance with state legislation, but not corresponding to canonical norms (for example, if the number of previous marriages allowed by church rules is exceeded by one of those wishing to get married or if there are unacceptable degrees of kinship between the persons wishing to get married),” – stated in the final document of the Council.

Let us recall that according to the Social Concept of the Moscow Patriarchate, the Church “does not encourage second marriage.” But after a legal ecclesiastical divorce, according to canon law, the innocent spouse is allowed a second marriage.

Those whose first marriage broke up and was dissolved through their fault are allowed to enter into a second marriage only on condition of repentance and fulfillment of penance imposed in accordance with the canonical rules. In exceptional cases, when a third marriage is allowed, the period of penance is increased.

A fourth marriage is not allowed, regardless of whether the previous marriages were church marriages or only registered in the registry office. But marriages into which a person entered into after being baptized are taken into account.

A wedding without civil registration of marriage is permitted if one of the spouses is expected to participate in military operations or actions involving a risk to life.

“Performing a wedding before the state registration of a marriage is permitted exclusively with the blessing of the diocesan bishop and in special cases, for example, due to a serious illness confirmed by medical documents that can lead to imminent death, or due to upcoming participation in the military, as well as other actions associated with a risk to life.” life, and provided that state registration of marriage within the desired time frame is impossible.”

Among the possible reasons for the end of a marriage, adultery is first mentioned. Or the presence of “circumstances that affect the marital union as destructively as adultery or that can be likened to the death of one of the spouses.”

A wedding is unacceptable “in the absence of the free consent of both parties.” And a very important amendment: an unmarried marriage should not be identified with fornication, and those living in an unmarried marriage must not be deprived of the sacrament on this basis.

The Russian Orthodox Church announced its readiness for negotiations with the UOC

The Church confirms that it “categorically does not recognize” unions of the same sex as marriage, regardless of whether they are recognized or not recognized by civil law.

The document “On the canonical aspects of church marriage” was prepared and discussed for several years and became the first comprehensive list of instructions for concluding and terminating a marriage in modern church practice.

About teaching religion at school

The course “Fundamentals of Religious Culture and Secular Ethics,” which has now been introduced at the school, will most likely be expanded, the issue is being studied. “But we perfectly understand the congestion of the educational process and the difficulties with the emergence of new disciplines,” emphasized Vladimir Legoyda. “So we are looking at how this can be done without compromising the educational process.”

The Church also pays great attention to issues of general education in the country. “The Russian Orthodox Church is concerned about the state of modern education. In particular, the Society of Russian Literature, which, on behalf of the President, was headed by the Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus', is doing a lot of work to qualitatively change educational processes,” noted Vladimir Legoida.

About freedom of creativity, broad tastes and mockery of the holy

The Council called on cultural figures to “open and mutually respectful dialogue. At the same time, advising them to abandon ridicule of what is sacred to people.

But at the same time, making a report at the Council, the Patriarch emphasized that there is no need to divide art and creativity into “acceptable and unacceptable.”

The attitude towards a specific work of art cannot be subjected to formal and unshakable rules that oblige all believers to treat it one way and not another, he noted. The attitude towards this or that performance or film is a matter of everyone’s freedom.

“The only exceptions are cases of obvious blasphemy and blasphemy intentionally allowed by the artist in his work. Such works are unacceptable for a believer.”

The Patriarch noted that “the specificity of art, especially modern art, is such that sometimes forms that are outwardly far from harmony hide the search for truth and serious ideological reflections.” This is especially true in relation to youth subcultures, when assessing which one must be especially careful so as not to reject sincere aspirations,” he believes.

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How to debunk a church marriage: procedure, reasons, grounds

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What happens to a person’s soul after death by day

This is the Orthodox vision of further life after death. These dates are of great historical and religious significance for an Orthodox person, for heaven, forgiveness, honest service to God and eternal life are what every believer goes and strives for.

sinful words (vain talk);
lies in all forms;
slander (condemnation, ridicule);
gluttony (drunkenness, satiety);
laziness (parasitism, neglect);
theft;
stinginess;
usury (appropriation of someone else's property);
untruth (in relation to other people, their words, actions);
envy;
pride (vanity, conceit);
rage, anger;
rancor;
murder (one of the most terrible sins);
sorcery (witchcraft, “communication” with demons and evil spirits);
everything is prodigal;
adultery;
Sodomy (unnatural sins);
heresies (false stories about the wise, doubts about the truth of faith);
lack of mercy, cruelty.

Is it possible to go to a cemetery until 40 days after death?

If you are interested in this question, listen to what the church says about the culture of behavior after the death and burial of loved ones. The Orthodox faith interprets that the physical body , and the soul goes through several stages of purification for 40 days before appearing at the Judgment of God.

Everyone knows that Orthodoxy is the Christian faith and the threefold commemoration of the deceased servant of God is a desirable alms in memory of the bright life, the soul of the deceased. A memorial dinner should be held on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day from the date of death, counting that as the first day.

How to spend 40 days after the death of a loved one in a Christian way

Another important tradition for 40 days is holding a wake. Believers should be present at the funeral dinner, since those who do not believe in God will not be able to help a person’s soul with their presence alone. Celebrating 40 days is necessary with fasting and simple food, without culinary delights, especially when the commemoration falls during fasting. If there are no posts at this time, also try not to spend a large sum on pleasing guests. Know how to set priorities: it is better to give the money that you are going to spend on expensive dishes to those in need (the poor, the disabled, orphans). This will bring much more benefit to the soul of the deceased. The main dish should be kutia, which symbolizes the rebirth of the soul. Each of those present must eat at least one spoonful of it, after which they can proceed to other dishes.

According to Orthodox traditions, on the fortieth day the fate of a person’s soul is decided. And it is we, living people, who through our actions can achieve a better fate for the deceased. We will tell you what needs to be done and how to spend this day in this article.

Is it possible to marry a widow according to signs?

Attitudes towards women who have lost their husbands have always been ambiguous. In Rus', widows were respected and pitied as those left without a breadwinner, but it was impossible to marry them.

Naturally, there was no direct prohibition, but everyone believed in the superstition that if you throw in your lot with such a woman, you can follow her deceased husband.

From a religious point of view, the grieving girl could not remarry, since she was not free from marriage. During the wedding period, she united her destiny with her husband and even after his death was not freed from them.

Nowadays, the expression “straw widow” is known, applied to women who are lonely or unhappy in their family life.

It was generally accepted that the deceased spouse was waiting for his other half in the next world and would regard the second marriage as a betrayal. And although marrying a widow was a bad omen, such unions were concluded. Among them were both happy and tragic.

But if people believe in omens, then psychologists are inclined to believe that when a woman loses her husband, she is traumatized and does not always seek help. Closedness, belief in superstitions and a sense of loss are often the reasons why she is deeply unhappy with her new husband.

Signs associated with widows:

If she does laundry on the anniversary of her husband's death, her whole life will be filled with tears.
A woman's clothing should not be decorated with brooches or pins until 40 days have passed after the funeral. Otherwise, she will die soon after the man.
The dress is not passed on to their children. Otherwise, the relative will suffer the fate of a widow.
A remarried woman does not go to the bathhouse with her husband, so that the husband does not die like the previous one.
For a marriage to be successful and long, the widow must enter into a new union on Tuesday.

Ladies grieving for their spouses were not allowed to cook food for a housewarming party, dress up the bride, or give their things to other people.

Is it possible to marry a widow with a child?

There is no specific prohibition, but not every man will decide to do this act. In ancient times, people did not want to marry a widow with children, not only because they were afraid of death, but also because they were afraid of the obligations that would have to be taken upon marriage. The woman with the children was respected, they sympathized with her and tried to help her. But they were in no hurry to ask for marriage.

After the end of mourning for a spouse, remarriage was quite possible

Is it possible to marry a divorced widow?

Such a woman did not inspire confidence in a potential spouse. In ancient times, it was almost impossible to obtain a divorce, so this status did not give the widow any advantage when choosing a husband.

Marriage was allowed, but the guys were regularly reminded that marrying such a girl was a bad omen.

Important! Women who lost their spouses more than once had virtually no chance of getting married. And even in the modern world, such ladies are called “black widows” and they are careful not to associate their lives with them.

Is it possible to wear things after a deceased person, the opinion of a priest

However, during all the hard times of war, both looters and soldiers of regular units did not think much about whether or not it was possible to remove clothes, shoes or jewelry from corpses. Are your boots or overcoat worn out, but the killed enemy has just the right size? Why not change, he won’t need it anyway. And they took it, and carried it, and returned to their families alive, without being tormented by pangs of conscience. So everything is relative.

Today, many magicians and psychics advise removing photographs of deceased people from places where they will constantly come into view; negative energy emanates from them and this can bring trouble to the house. On the one hand, this opinion is indeed correct. Agree that if a lifetime relationship with the person depicted in the photograph has never developed, then it is not pleasant to look at him every day.

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What relatives can and cannot do after a funeral

The nine-day, or better yet, forty-day ban also applies to weddings, but here everything depends on the emotional state of the relatives of the deceased. In addition, a wedding is a pre-arranged event associated with high costs. If you are having a wedding before forty days have passed since the death of a relative, during the celebration you need to mention this and pay tribute to the memory of the deceased. Weddings are allowed at any time.

There will be a lot of decisions about when you can open a mirror after a funeral. One at a time, this can be done immediately after returning from the cemetery and the wake. According to other beliefs, this is done three days later, or not earlier than the ninth day after death. But these are all modern traditions. In villages to this day, curtains are removed from mirrors only on the 41st day, when the fate of the soul of the deceased has already been decided.

After the Death of a Loved One When You Can Get Married in Orthodoxy

A guardian angel watches over a person from heaven, from the “window of God’s mansion,” which people see as a star, and writes down every earthly deed of the person entrusted to him in the heavenly book; when a person dies, the heavenly window slams shut and people can see a star falling “from the heights of heaven onto the chest of the earth” - this is an angel flying for the soul of the deceased. Hence the belief - if you see a falling star and, before it goes out, you make a wish, it will certainly come true, since the angel on this path does not refuse anyone anything and will fulfill the wish, or, according to another belief, will convey the request to the Lord . A nice superstition, if only you could replace making a wish to an angel star with a prayer.

The custom of not serving knives and forks at the table at funerals, apparently one of the modern superstitious customs, was born in Soviet canteens, where these cutlery were not accepted and where funerals were held. And only then, from the absence, a “theory” was born: so as not to inject the deceased. It is believed that this “tradition” appeared in the mid-19th century among merchants. People, inflamed by “funeral” alcohol, moved at the table to the issue of dividing up the inheritance, and cutting and stabbing objects, i.e. forks and knives led to serious injuries, so they were removed from funeral service.

How long does mourning last?

A few days ago a woman came to my temple and asked for blessings to get married. At the same time, she added: “I am a widow.” And I won’t lie, I felt better after reading this article. Recently (due to various natural, man-made disasters and terrorist attacks), nationwide mourning is often declared. During the Soviet period, this was only after the death of the leaders.

In the event of the premature death of a child, parents must also observe mourning for at least six months. Although the Orthodox religion knows of cases where a mother or father whose only child has died, observe the rules of grief for the rest of their lives.

Should you marry a widower?

Men who had lost their spouses were allowed to marry, but were not approved by society. Young girls were afraid of a repeat of the fate of their deceased wife; the church supported the version of the unification of souls after death.

The exception was men who remained with children. In this case, remarriage was encouraged, since the child needed care.

According to superstitions, marrying a widower means remaining alone or dying. After death, the husband returned to his first wife, and the soul of the other remained lonely.

How soon can a widower get married?

Of course, the widower’s children can also influence the resolution of this issue. So, if they don’t like their father’s future new wife, then I think they can wait for a while so that everything calms down in the children’s minds after the death of their mother. They would understand that life, in spite of everything, still goes on, and, probably, it would be easier for their father to endure the hardships of life if not their mother, but another, loving woman was next to him. If there is a conflict between the children and the father, perhaps even more so, the father, as an older and wiser person, should postpone the decision to marry again. It will probably take some time to reconcile all parties to the conflict so that they can all make some kind of compromise decision.

Good day! I think the answer to your question may depend on many factors. For example, is a man who has lost his wife inclined to listen and follow the lead of public opinion. We all know that in our lives the opinions of the people around us often play an important role. We all, to one degree or another, compare our actions with “what people will say.” It seems to me personally that sometimes this regard for the opinions of others can be unreasonable or excessive, and a person should act as he sees fit. Moreover, in his personal life, and even more so if his action does not in any way hurt other people. Moreover, in life it often happens that spouses have been living together for a long time only for appearances, but in fact, each of them has their own interests on the side. And divorce, and the subsequent official change of partner, is only a matter of time. Therefore, if your case is similar to this, then, I personally think, perhaps you should move in together right away, but not register your relationship right away, and also not advertise your new status and new position too much.

Interesting: Is it possible to pay bailiffs 500 rubles?

What does the Bible say about remarriage after the death of a spouse?

Answer

Does a person have the right to remarry after being widowed? The Bible not only does not prohibit remarriage after the death of a spouse, but in some cases even encourages it (1 Corinthians 7:8-9; 1 Timothy 5:14). Jewish culture in biblical times also supported this for various reasons. In most cases, God's Word deals with the problem of widows, not widowers. However, there is nothing in the context of any of these passages to suggest that this standard is gender-specific.

The focus has been on widows for three plausible reasons. First, men typically worked outside the home, sometimes doing dangerous work. In biblical times, as now, the average life expectancy of men was shorter than that of their wives. Thus, there were many more widows than widowers.

The second reason was that women rarely had enough resources to support themselves and their children in biblical times. Remarriage was the primary way in which a widow could gain protection and provide for the needs of herself and her children. After Christ founded the church, it began caring for widows under certain circumstances (1 Timothy 5:3-10).

The third problem was that preserving the husband's lineage and name was an important issue in Jewish culture. Thus, if a husband died without leaving children to bear his name, his brother was offered to marry the widow and provide her with offspring. Other men in the family also had a choice, but there was an order in which each man had the opportunity to perform or delegate this responsibility (for an example of this, see the book of Ruth). Even among priests (who were expected to follow higher standards), remarriage after the death of a spouse was permitted. There was one condition that they had to marry only the widow of another priest (Ezekiel 44:22). Thus, based on all biblical instruction on the subject, remarriage after the death of a spouse is permitted by God.

The text in Romans 7:2-3 reads: “A married woman, for example, is bound by the law of marriage to her husband while he lives. If her husband dies, she is freed from this law. And therefore, if she marries another while her husband is still alive, she thereby commits adultery, but if her husband is dead, then she is free from the law and cannot be accused of adultery by marrying another" (New Russian translation). Even though nearly half of today's marriages end in divorce, most wedding vows still contain the phrase "till death do us part." This phrase does not necessarily come from the Bible, but the principle is biblical.

When a man and woman marry, God unites them as one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5-6). The only thing that can destroy a marriage bond in the eyes of God is death. If a person's spouse dies, the widow/widower is free to remarry. The Apostle Paul permitted widows to remarry in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 and encouraged young widows to remarry in 1 Timothy 5:14. Thus, remarriage after the death of a spouse is absolutely permitted by God.

Is it possible to wear things after a deceased person? Priest's opinion

Orthodox priests are of the same opinion in this regard. You can wear clothes, moreover, you need to. At all times, the clothing of a deceased Christian was distributed to the poor, neighbors and close relatives after forty days from the date of death. As a rule, it was distributed at the doors of the temple, which in itself is a blessing. After all, things that served your loved one can warm someone else. Undoubtedly, this person will remember the deceased with a kind word.

Most modern people latently trust a variety of superstitions. And one of them is that the clothes and personal belongings of a deceased person can cause harm to health or well-being if they are worn by a relative or anyone else alive. This opinion is unlikely to be true. This is especially true for expensive items, family heirlooms or precious jewelry. It is unlikely that anyone will voluntarily part with diamonds or ancestral gold that was inherited from your grandmother. On the contrary, the jewelry will be kept and worn with pride by you, but the question of troubles and illnesses that the jewelry could bring with it is unlikely to arise.

Iddah after the death of a husband and observance of mourning

Iddah after the death of her husband means that a woman whose husband has died is not allowed to marry until four months and ten days of the lunar calendar have passed after the death of her husband, unless she is pregnant. And if she is pregnant, then throughout her pregnancy she must additionally observe mourning for her husband.

There are certain conditions for observing mourning that all Muslim women and men should be aware of. Many questions are asked about this topic because it remains unclear to most people, especially in this day and age.

The Arabic word "hidad" (mourning) means "prohibition, refusal", which indicates that a woman in mourning must give up much of what was previously allowed to her. In Shariah, the word “hidad” refers to a period of time (i.e., the time of iddah), during which a woman whose husband has died avoids everything that contributes to her new marriage and attracts the attention of strange men to her, namely: does not wear elegant clothes, does not use incense or antimony, and does not leave the house unless necessary. All this does not mean that she should only wear black clothes.

Observance of Iddah and mourning is obligatory for all women whose husbands have died, regardless of whether the husband had sexual intercourse with his wife or not. Allah Almighty said in the Quran (meaning): “ If one of you dies and leaves behind wives, then they should wait [without getting married] four months and ten days... ” (Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 234) .

Thus, wives whose husbands have died must wait for the time of Iddah and mourn for four lunar months and ten days. The above applies to women, regardless of age, menstruation, whether her husband had sexual intercourse with her or not, except for pregnant women.

If a woman is pregnant, then after the death of her husband she must wait until the child is born.

The Holy Qur'an says (meaning): “ ...For those who are pregnant, the prescribed period is until they are delivered from the burden. For those who fear Allah, He will make His work easy ” (Surah At-Talaq, verse 4).

One of the Ansars (Median Muslims from the time of the Prophet) said that Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) told him: “If a woman gives birth when her husband’s body is not yet buried and lies on the bed, then she is still free.” "

The period of iddah, during which a widowed Muslim woman has no right to remarry, begins from the day of her husband’s death, even if the news of his death reached her later. Previously, the period that a woman had to wait after the death of her husband was exactly one year, and then the Almighty reduced it to four months and ten days.

All of the above applies to women whose husbands have died. As for the observance of mourning (hidad) by those women whose close relatives, but not their husbands, have died, they are not allowed to mourn for anyone other than their husband for more than three days.

It is reported that the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) Ummah Habiba (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “ I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) saying: “It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to wear mourning (hidad) for the deceased is more than three (days), except for the husband (for whom mourning should be observed) four months and ten days ” (al-Bukhari).

This hadith talks about two types of mourning:

1) mourning for someone other than her husband . It can only be kept for three days, and a believing woman should not observe it longer;

2 ) mourning for the deceased husband . For a non-pregnant woman, this period is four lunar months and ten days, for pregnant women - until the birth of the child.

If a woman, after the death of her husband, came out of mourning (that is, did not observe the prohibitions in jewelry, clothing, leaving the house, etc.) ahead of time due to the fact that she did not know about the command of the Almighty in this, then this is forgiven to her. If she did this deliberately, then she committed a sin. She cannot make up for the missed days of mourning (hidad) after the expiration of the period, because what is prescribed by the Creator can only be done at the time allotted for it. As for failure to observe the Iddah and getting married before the expiration of the prescribed period, the marriage is considered invalid.

In times of ignorance (i.e. before Islam), a woman was in mourning for one year. She secluded herself in a small house and refused all pleasures, causing herself suffering. She didn’t bathe, didn’t cut her nails, wore nasty clothes and, in the end, went out to people in such an ugly state. And when she was about to come out of mourning at the end of the year, she threw manure, which meant that she became free.

The husband is not obliged to mourn after the death of his wife or other close relatives, and if such a misfortune befalls him, he can marry whenever he wishes.

In our time, the custom of declaring mourning and lowering flags for three or more days on the occasion of the death of famous people or important government figures has become widespread. It is also common to grow a beard for a period of a week, a month, 40 days, 52 days or wear black clothes for a year or more, regardless of who died - a husband or a close relative, etc. It is also widely believed among Muslim women that a woman who is in mourning for her husband does not have the right to look in the mirror, hear men’s speech, talk to men, even if this is necessary, etc. All this and much more has nothing to do with Sharia and is heresy and innovation. Without a doubt, this does not in any way coincide with the precepts of the religion of Islam.

We have already noted that only women are supposed to observe mourning on the occasion of the death of a husband or other close relative and only within the period and form established for this by Shariah. Mourning has a specific period and cannot be extended. As for mourning of a different kind, they are illegal and have no basis. Neither in the Holy Quran, nor in the hadiths of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), nor in the statements of his righteous companions, nor in the theological books of the four madhhabs, there is anything that would give reason to declare such mourning. This custom was borrowed from the infidels, and, as you know, the religion of Allah Almighty does not allow Muslims to resemble them.

Conditions for observing mourning

Mourning is obligatory for a widowed Muslim woman of sound mind who was married according to a legal Sharia marriage, even if her deceased husband had not yet had intimate relations with her.

In addition, a woman whose husband has given an incomplete divorce (i.e., a first or second divorce, after which the marriage can be resumed) is also obliged, after the death of her husband, to adhere to the conditions relating to mourning during the period of Iddah, since she still remains the wife of her husband. husband But this rule does not apply to women who are in observance of the period of iddah after their husbands have given them a third, final divorce.

There are certain prohibitions imposed on women whose husbands have died. A woman’s observance of mourning is expressed in following these prohibitions. These prohibitions must be observed during the period of Iddah, that is, for four months and ten days or until the birth of the child. During this period, a woman whose husband has died is prohibited from everything that makes her attractive to men, because during this period she is not allowed to get married.

Things that are prohibited during mourning include:

1) bright clothes that attract the attention of strangers . It is prohibited to wear clothes of bright colors, for example bright red, red, any other bright shades, blue, light green, yellow, i.e. anything that is worn for beauty and attracts attention. As for outfits in black, dark blue, dark brown or dark green, the ban does not apply to them, because they are not used to attract attention. In mourning, it is forbidden to wear silk clothes if they emphasize beauty, and decorations like patterns, etc., if not, then it is permissible;

2) it is prohibited to paint what is visible from parts of the body, such as the face, hands, feet, with henna . If you paint what is under your clothes, then it is allowed. It is also forbidden to smear the eyes with antimony - in a word, everything that makes a woman attractive and seductive is prohibited. The hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: “ A woman whose husband has died should not wear clothes painted red and yellow, should not wear jewelry, paint herself and use antimony ” (Abu Dawud);

3) it is forbidden to wear any jewelry, be it made of gold or silver, even rings , because the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “ ...should not wear jewelry ...”. This prohibition applies to gold and silver jewelry of any form, be it bracelets, chains, etc., this also includes precious stones such as diamonds, pearls, rubies, etc. Imam al-Ghazali writes that she is allowed to wear silver ring, like for men;

4) perfumes and incense . She is forbidden to anoint her body and clothes with incense. It is also prohibited to use oils of any form, whether aromatic or otherwise, on the scalp and facial hair. As for oils that do not contain aromatic substances, they can only be used on the body.

A woman in mourning is allowed to decorate her home, bed and other accessories, since mourning is observed with the body. She is allowed to comb her hair, cut her nails, bathe, and remove hair from certain parts of her body for cleanliness.

During mourning, the widow lives in the house of her late husband, regardless of whether this house was his private property, or he rented it, or simply lived in it temporarily with the permission of the owner.

The heirs do not have the right to force the wife to leave the house of her ex-husband before the end of the iddah, unless she commits an obvious sin, because Allah Almighty said in the Quran (meaning): “...Do not drive [divorced wives] out of their homes, and let them they do not leave them unless they commit an obvious abomination. These are the orders of Allah...” (Surah At-Talaq, verse 1). By the word "abomination" is meant, unless she becomes rude to her guardians, insults them, or causes them trouble of this kind.

A widow has the right to permanently leave her husband's house and move to another place of residence in the following cases: if she fears that the house will collapse or be flooded, or is afraid of wicked people living in the neighborhood of her house, or she receives harm from neighbors, or neighbors receive harm from it, etc.; if the rental period of the house has expired or the owner of the house evicts her, or he does not want to renew the contract with her, or he demands an inflated payment from her, and she does not have the means to rent this apartment. In these cases, the widow has good reason to move from the house where she lived with her husband to another house or apartment.

During the period of Iddah, a woman has the right to leave her house during the day to do her business. However, at night she does not have the right to leave the house unless necessary, because night is a time of evil and vices, while the day is reserved for necessary affairs, labor and trade. If a widow must earn her own living and there is no person who is obliged to take upon herself to provide for her, then she has the right to leave the house during the day to earn money, but is obliged to spend the nights only in the house of her late husband.

The Wisdom of Mourning

By observing mourning, a woman pays respect to her late husband and grieves because she has lost a loved one. There is no doubt that marriage is the mercy of the Lord, which concerns both the spiritual and worldly life of a person, and the loss of a spouse is a great misfortune that makes every man and every woman sad. After all, family life gives her the opportunity to satisfy many of her desires in a permitted way, maintain chastity and avoid sins, gives her the affection of a dear friend, and relieves her of the need to look for food herself. But with the death of her husband, all this stops, and therefore the widow must mourn in order to emphasize the severity of her loss and her sadness. By refusing to dress up and get married soon, the widow shows respect for the feelings of her husband’s parents and relatives.

After the period of mourning, it becomes clear whether the woman is pregnant from her late husband. After four months of development, when the angel has already breathed the soul into the fetus, it begins to move in the womb.

Even if we do not know all the wisdom of the law on mourning, everyone who believes in the Creator and in the Day of Judgment is obliged to adhere to it, obeying Allah Almighty and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him).

What happens to a person after death: where does the soul go?

The fortieth day is a very important date. At this time, the future fate of the deceased is decided. His soul comes to bow to the Creator for the third time, where the judgment takes place, and now the final decision will follow as to where the spirit will be destined - to Heaven or Hell.

Plato argued that when separated from the body, the soul is able to reason more clearly. Her vision, hearing, and senses become sharper. A judge appears in front of the deceased, who shows him all the cases during his lifetime - both good and bad.

After the Death of a Loved One When You Can Get Married in Orthodoxy

whom she divorced, whose child she gave birth to four months after marriage? I think there is no need to rush, or after all, the child is yours, and you made it 5 months ago, i.e. 1 month after the death of your wife, and now you urgently want to marry her so that the child will be born in marriage. It was worth waiting at least 1 year to respect her, your wife.

There are two children left, the same age, the youngest is almost a year old and was breastfed. Nobody noticed postpartum psychosis and depression, the woman was cheerful and happy... And then suddenly this happened. And now there’s a wedding for her supposedly best friend, who is pregnant by the “inconsolable widower.” Is it possible to do this? And whether it was suicide, that is the question. There is no such thing as female friendship, I agree with that.

30 Jun 2021 hiurist 662

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