Orthodox people always remember their deceased relatives, on certain days they visit the cemetery, order prayer services in churches, and pray for the soul of the deceased on memorable dates. During the first year after death, memorials are required on days 3, 9 and 40, which are especially important for remembrance. Memorial rites are also held six months after death, but this date is not mandatory according to church canons. If you are planning to hold a wake six months after the death of a loved one, the Edem ritual agency will tell you how to spend this day correctly.
Transition to eternity
According to Orthodox teaching, the death of a person does not mean his complete and final disappearance. The soul created by God lives forever. Therefore, for Christians, the true goal of earthly life is to gain immortality, to meet the Creator. Death is perceived as a birthday to a new life. But the fate of the soul in eternity directly depends on what earthly life was like. What awaits her - heavenly bliss or eternal torment? Therefore, people are concerned about a variety of issues related to the afterlife of the soul. In particular, what happens to the soul six months after death - how to remember and help it.
Six months from the date of death - how to remember?
The Holy Fathers of the Church called to always have “mortal memory.” It was necessary to constantly remember the temporality and finitude of earthly life. And be ready to move to another world. From the lives of the saints it is known that the expectation of death was long-awaited and joyful for many of them. The Monk Paisiy Svyatogorets (1924-1994), upon learning of his diagnosis (cancer), was ready to dance for joy.
“It is unfair, I think, to call the end of real life death, but rather deliverance from death, removal from the realm of corruption, liberation from slavery, cessation of anxiety, suppression of warfare, exit from darkness, rest from work, shelter from shame, escape from passions, and in general , the limit of all evils" (Reverend Maximus the Confessor, 580-662).
The fate of the human soul after death
The death of loved ones is always a sad parting. But even after the end of their earthly life, the Church does not abandon prayer for Christians. Believers pray for forgiveness of the deceased's sins for repose in heaven with the saints. These prayers can influence the afterlife fate of the deceased: change from worse to better.
Intensified prayer during certain days after death is of great importance for the soul of the deceased. This is due to the fact that the soul does not leave the earth for the first three days. She is close to her body, family and friends. Then, until the ninth day, the soul is in the heavenly abodes. After which, until the fortieth day after death, he sees the punishment of sinners in hell. Forty days after death, a private Judgment takes place. It is decided where the soul will reside until the Second Coming of the Savior into the world. This can be pleasure in heavenly abodes or torment in hell. But even after a private Judgment has been carried out, Christians are able to beg the Lord for mercy on the deceased and a change in his fate.
“There is no doubt that only the Lord can determine a person’s fate after death, and there is no doubt that this fate directly depends on the person’s way of faith and life here on earth. But there is also no doubt that it is possible and even necessary to pray for our family and friends, asking the Lord for forgiveness of their sins, and there is no doubt that these prayers are not in vain if we ourselves only try to listen to the Lord and live according to His commandments” (priest Dimitry Shishkin).
We remember regardless of the dates
But most people have a question about whether it is necessary to organize a wake for six months after death. And how to properly organize a remembrance, often loved ones do not know and turn for advice to old people or clergy, who will certainly tell you what should be done in this case.
The fact is that Orthodox people must remember the deceased, regardless of the dates and periods from the day of death; it is customary, according to church canons, to pray and visit the temple, leaving notes or ordering prayer services.
This must be done before the start of the Divine Liturgy, since during the service the clergyman at a certain moment reads out all the names of the people that are indicated in the notes, he says prayers for the peace of their souls in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Notes are submitted not only in ordinary churches and temples, but also in monasteries and Lavras; it is believed that the more and longer they pray for the deceased, the easier it will be for his soul.
It is worth finding out in advance how to properly submit notes and what services are available for this so as not to make mistakes.
Rules of remembrance in church
In order to remember in church, you need to come in advance before the service and write notes with the names of the deceased. The Church does not set dates or restrictions on dates and terms, since remembering people who are no longer in this world, according to church rules, is obligatory and even necessary every day in your prayers.
There are certain rules by which funeral lists can be submitted; the fact is that the Orthodox Church can only remember baptized people in its prayers; you can pray for people of other faiths in your heart and soul.
It is also worth knowing that you cannot remember people who have passed away on their own; they are buried without church rites and funeral services.
Otherwise, there are no prohibitions, the priests say that you need to remember as many of your ancestors and relatives who are in the other world as possible, by doing this a person not only does good for them, but also for the whole family.
So, at six months it’s still worth coming to church and holding a service, after which you can order a prayer service for the remembrance of the dead and submit a note with the name. It is worth remembering that in the note names are written strictly in the genitive case. Even if you came to order this prayer service for the sake of one person, it is still worth writing in the note all the deceased relatives and friends.
It is also worth ordering the “magpie for the deceased”; these are certain prayer rules that the clergy will read for forty days. You can submit notes in different temples and at the same time, this will only enhance their effect and power.
They also pray at home during this period; if you don’t know how to do this, then it would be the right decision not to undertake prayer feats on your own, but with the blessing of the priest.
If the priest gives a blessing, then at home you can read the psalter and special prayers every day, which the priest will tell you about.
Of course, in order for prayer to come from a pure heart and have great power, it is worth taking the sacrament yourself, but only after adequately preparing for this event.
Before this, it is necessary to fast for three days and fully comply with the morning and evening prayer rules, in addition, read the three canons and follow the holy communion.
All these rules and detailed recommendations are in every prayer book; the main thing is to begin this task with peace of mind and good intentions.
Nowadays, pilgrimage is very developed, and many have a wonderful opportunity to visit various holy places; in many temples, notes are collected and delivered to a sacred place by a certain date, where they will be read.
When coming to church, you should know that candles for the dead are placed only in a certain place. If you look carefully, you will find a large crucifix of Jesus Christ in the church, and next to it a flat candlestick with a large number of cells for candles; other options are possible, but this is the more common type.
In many churches there is a printout nearby with a prayer that should be said at the cross and lighted a candle.
Many churches have a special memorial table on which people place food for remembrance. This could be bread, cereals, fruits, cookies and candy. In monasteries, this food goes to the kitchen, where a meal is prepared for parishioners, and if these are monasteries, then for pilgrims.
How exactly to remember at six months
On a certain date in the morning you need to visit the temple, defend the service and submit a note. It is worth leaving food items for remembrance. If possible, then after the Divine Liturgy you need to order a memorial prayer service.
You should definitely light a candle and quietly pray from the bottom of your heart for the deceased, you need to say the words to yourself and you can say them in your own words. The main thing is not eloquence, but the essence and purity of thought and prayer that is addressed to God.
This will help you to quench your sadness and sadness a little; such prayers allow you to feel the soul of your loved one and gain a certain peace.
The holy fathers also often recommend giving alms to those asking and asking them to remember the deceased.
After visiting the church they go to the cemetery. You need to light a candle at the grave, so that the light does not go out, it is better to purchase a special lamp in advance in which the candle is placed. You can leave cookies and candies on the grave so that random people can remember.
It’s still not a good idea to host a meal at the grave yourself; the custom involves leaving funeral products at the grave. The clergy always say that the most important thing is prayer, not food, and especially not in the cemetery.
There is a place of peace and quiet, where you can only mourn and pray.
They often arrange a memorial dinner in a cafe or at home, inviting people who knew the deceased and remember him with kind words. As a rule, people come in the first half of the day, and the meal itself does not drag on for a long time. The range of dishes should be restrained, in other words, it’s still not worth throwing a feast.
You can prepare the deceased’s favorite dishes for the table, but the rest of the menu has a classic look, this is the first, second, salad and, without fail, a pie and sweets with cookies are placed on the table for each of the guests.
This is a fairly old custom; pies are used to commemorate people after death on the ninth day and on subsequent dates. But after the funeral has taken place, on the second day, the relatives of the deceased bake flatbreads, pour honey on them and distribute them to neighbors and relatives who knew him well.
This tradition has been preserved since ancient times, when people did not buy pies and donuts, but baked them themselves.
Before the meal, you must read a prayer and taste three spoons of kutya, and after that you can start eating.
Some people know in advance how many people will be at the dinner and prepare memorial envelopes for them. This is a small set consisting of cookies and sweets, the quantity is determined by everyone independently, but, as a rule, it is a couple of cookies and the same amount of sweets. It is worth remembering that if six months fall during fasting, then the dishes must necessarily be lean.
There is no need to worry or be upset about this, since there is a large selection of lean and quite tasty dishes.
Meat dishes are replaced by fish, but the rest of the menu remains unchanged. If six months falls during Lent, then you can commemorate either on Saturday or Sunday. Wednesday and Friday are considered permanent fast days; on these days, dishes should not contain meat products.
Is it celebrated six months after death?
After a person passes into another world, the first six-month period is quite difficult for relatives. This is the time when you need to get used to the loss and continue to live, but in a different way. Great consolation comes from memories of the deceased and frequent prayer for his soul.
Funeral services six months after death are optional from the point of view of church canons. This is a gradually formed folk tradition. Therefore, the Orthodox themselves decide how to remember for six months after death. This is an arbitrary date, there are no “events with the soul” associated with it, no special church actions. The Orthodox Church does not prohibit commemorating the dead at any time, if desired, even every day.
“The time of day when one can remember the deceased is not regulated by the Church. There are folk traditions that go back to paganism and clearly prescribe how and at what hour to remember the dead, but they have nothing to do with Christian prayer. God lives in space without time, and we can reach heaven at any moment of the day or night” (Archpriest Igor Fomin).
Rules for commemoration in the temple
You must arrive at the church before the service begins. Relatives should buy a candle, put it on the eve, and while the candle is burning, pray for the soul of the deceased. Afterwards, it is customary to submit a note about the deceased with the name given at baptism. Names are entered in the genitive case, in large and clear letters. The note can include several names of deceased relatives. If the deceased had an unusual name, and you do not know what he was given at baptism, you can ask a clergyman for advice.
On Memorial Day, it will be useful to take an active part in the liturgy and sincerely pray for the departed. Relatives are advised to stand through the entire service and then take communion. In any temple there is a special table where anyone can leave a package of food in memory of the soul of the deceased. You can bring any products, except perishable ones. There are always beggars and disadvantaged people near the church, to whom they are supposed to give alms, asking them to pray for the soul of the deceased.
After the cemetery, you can visit a funeral agency and buy a beautiful wreath or basket for the grave, buy lamps for the cemetery, a towel or scarves. Here you can also buy church candles for home prayers.
Many already six months after death want to order and install a monument in order to ennoble the grave of the deceased. However, there are rules regarding the timing of monument installation, which you can read about in a separate article . If you need to leave the country and you are worried that a relative’s grave will not have a decent appearance, you can order the production of a tombstone in advance and its installation on time.
Six months from the date of death - how to commemorate correctly
If there is a desire and opportunity, six months after the death of the deceased, you can organize a memorial meal or order a commemoration in the temple.
What is the best way to commemorate death in six months? Of the church commemorations, the most important is the Divine Liturgy, at which the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered to God.
“The souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented once again before separation from real life, but did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such as: prayers, tears, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in actions of love for God and neighbors, which the Catholic Church from the very beginning recognizes as God-pleasing and beneficial), the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer punishment for the sins they have committed, without, however, losing relief from them.
They receive relief through infinite goodness through the prayers of the Priests and charity performed for the dead; and especially by the power of the bloodless Sacrifice, which in particular the clergyman makes for each Christian for his relatives, and in general the Catholic and Apostolic Church makes for everyone every day” (Message of the Eastern Patriarchs, 1723, Constantinople).
Also on this day it is advisable to order a special memorial service - a memorial service. A memorial dinner can be organized for the loved ones of the deceased.
How to properly conduct a wake for six months
A memorial ceremony for six months after death is not obligatory, and is carried out in memory of a person, or to alleviate his fate after death. The funeral rite has its own rules established by the church:
- Morning home prayer in front of images for the repose of the soul of the deceased.
- Visiting the temple and submitting a note for the memorial service, distributing alms.
- Visiting the cemetery, cleaning the grave, decorating with flowers.
- Holding a memorial meal to which all relatives and friends are invited.
Morning prayer for the repose of the soul can replace a visit to church if a person is not able to visit church that day due to illness, work or bad weather. In this case, you need to light a church candle in the house and read one of the prayers for the repose of the soul. These rules are prescribed for those who died with faith in God and were baptized while alive.
If a person was an atheist and was not baptized, there are other rules of remembrance for him, which you can find out about here . There are also certain prohibitions on commemorating those who committed suicide, having taken upon themselves one of the most serious sins.
Funeral meal for six months after death
When organizing a wake six months after death, you need to remember that this is not a festive feast. Therefore, there is nothing bad or reprehensible if the food is modest, without gastronomic excesses. The main thing is not the dishes on the table, but the memory of the deceased. The Church calls not to remember with alcohol, so as not to turn the wake into a drinking session. Wine does not contribute to a prayerful mood. The Holy Fathers argued that commemorating the deceased with wine aggravates the fate of the deceased.
According to folk tradition, kutia (kolivo) is considered obligatory for a funeral dinner. However, six months from the date of death is not the canonical date for a memorial service, so the absence of kutya on the menu is quite acceptable. The availability of other dishes depends mainly on the time of year, whether fasting occurs at that time. Local traditions also influence. These can be vegetable salads, noodle soup, meat and fish dishes, pancakes, jelly.
The main meaning of the commemoration is the remembrance of the deceased and joint prayer requests for him. This should not be just a reason to get together for a drink or a snack.
“Nothing earthly interests the deceased anymore. They don’t need expensive tombstones, lavish funerals, etc. They need only one thing - our fervent prayer for the repose of their souls and for the forgiveness of their voluntary and involuntary sins” (priest Pavel Gumerov).
Rules for a funeral dinner for six months
The funeral dinner for six months is held according to the rules: the time is chosen, the menu is drawn up, and the number of people is determined. The convenience of ordering a funeral lunch in a cafe is that there is no need to worry about cooking and cleaning. By the time you arrive from the cemetery, the table will already be set, and everyone who comes can remember the deceased without fuss. Our agency will help you organize a memorial dinner for any of the memorable dates. If you would like to clarify the details, please contact the managers at the specified phone number.
Traditionally, a portrait of the deceased with a mourning ribbon is placed on the memorial table so that everyone can remember the facial features of the deceased and say a few kind words about him. Before starting the meal, you need to sprinkle the main funeral dish - kutya - with holy water, and only then start dinner.
According to tradition, lunch should consist of simple dishes and include soup or borscht, porridge, fish, pancakes, pies, jelly, compote. If the memorable date does not fall during Lent, the menu can be diversified with other dishes. If the funeral is held on fasting days - Wednesday and Friday - then only plant foods should be on the table.
The lunch ends with the distribution of sweets and cookies, scarves for women and towels for men. Gifts for the remembrance of the soul are obligatory, and allow the living, every time they use the thing, to remember the deceased.
Prayer for the departed
Remember, O Lord our God, in faith and hope the life of Thy eternal departed servant (Thy departed servant, Thy departed servant) (name), and as the Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins, and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake, and forgive all who will. (her) sins and involuntary, elevating him (s) to Your holy second coming into the communion of Your eternal blessings, for the sake of the only faith in You, the true God and Lover of mankind; for Thou art the resurrection and the life and the rest of Thy servant (name), Christ our God, and to Thee we ascribe glory, with Thy beginningless Father, and with the Most Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, Amen.
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