How to organize a memorial dinner for the anniversary of death: menu examples

Law of Death

Why host a memorial dinner on the anniversary of a death? This question often interests relatives of deceased people. To understand why and how to remember the dead, you need to understand what happens to the soul after death.

Funeral lunch in a Belarusian village

As a result of the fall of the first people, death appeared in the world. She established her own law on earth, common to everyone. Human life, having reached a certain milestone, ends, and the body is consigned to the earth. But what happens to the immortal soul? According to Orthodox teaching, this depends on the spiritual quality of life lived on earth. Paradise awaits the soul, being with the Lord and all the saints. Or hell, the painful state of being unable to get closer to God. However, it should be noted that heaven and hell are not material, with “geographical” points and coordinates. According to the Holy Fathers, this is a certain “internal” state of a person that awaits him in the next century.

Menu for 1200 rubles per person

How do we work with our clients?

We work with each client in four stages. The first stage is for a person to contact our company. You can call yourself or leave a request for a call on our website. During the first conversation, you can clarify all the details you are interested in. For example, what menu do we offer for funerals 40 days and other dates.

At the second stage, the customer comes to our complex to get acquainted with the halls. In the process, he can choose what suits him. Can also indicate some wishes for textile design. At the third stage, the order is confirmed: the hall is selected and the menu is determined. If you have a larger budget, you can choose a menu for 1,500 rubles per person.

Why you need to pray for the dead

After the death of a person, relatives strive to alleviate his fate through prayer for his soul, alms, and organizing funeral services. For believers, the memory of the deceased does not disappear 40 days after death. According to legend, during this period a preliminary frequent Judgment is performed on the soul. Before the Second Coming of Christ there is still time and opportunity to change the fate of the soul for the better. A memorial dinner on the anniversary of death is precisely evidence of ongoing care for the soul of the deceased.

“Many people are embarrassed by the thought of praying for the dead; they wonder what the purpose of this prayer is, what we hope to achieve with it. Can the fate of the dead change because they are prayed for? Can prayer convince God to be unfair and give them what they don't deserve?

If you believe that praying for the living helps them, why don't you think it is possible to pray for the dead? Life is one, for, as the Evangelist Luke says, “God... is not the God of the dead, but of the living” (Luke 20:38). Death is not the end, but a certain stage in human destiny. And this fate does not freeze like stone at the moment of death.

The love that our prayers express cannot be in vain. If love has power on earth, but has no power after death, this tragically contradicts the word of Scripture that “love is strong as death” (Song 8:6). And it contradicts the experience of the Church, which testifies that love is stronger than death. For Christ conquered death in His love for the human race" (Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh, 1914-2003).

Why choose us?

If you have not yet made your final choice in favor of any institution, then you should definitely find out about our advantages:

• For all customers we provide the best offers in terms of price and quality in the city. You can order different menus for the 9-day funeral. A popular option is the menu for 1000 rubles per person. The price includes all food and drinks required by the religion;
• We do not oblige the customer to purchase alcohol from us. Everyone can purchase alcohol on their own and bring it to the funeral. We do not charge extra for our own alcohol;
• Our team has the best service staff. Each employee understands the importance of such an event, therefore they provide services at the highest level;
• To organize funerals, we offer our clients three halls. They differ in design and capacity. The customer can choose what suits his wishes and requirements.

The funeral menu is selected in advance upon first contact and approval of the order. An excellent option would be a menu for 1200 rubles per person.

Tradition of the wake

Prayers for the dead already existed in Old Testament times. Before the Savior came into the world, the dead faced a bleak, albeit to varying degrees, fate after death. As a result of the Fall, humanity alienated itself from God and lost unity with Him. People were expelled from paradise, and the doors to it were closed. And this lasted until the Son of God, by His death on the Cross, atoned for the sins of people.

An example of caring for the souls of the dead is the prayer of the Jewish people for those killed during the battle with the Edomites (Second Book of Maccabees, 12:39-45). The Jewish soldiers hid the things of the pagan gods (trophies) under their clothes, violating God's command. This was the reason for their death. Judas Maccabee collected money and sent it to the Jerusalem Temple to offer a sacrifice to God for sin. Judas Maccabee “acted very well and piously, considering the resurrection.” Thus, he showed concern for the forgiveness of the sins of his fallen brothers on the Day of Judgment.

“Therefore he offered a propitiatory sacrifice for the dead, that they might be freed from sin” (Second Maccabees 12:45).

Old Testament prayer testified to the hope of salvation that existed even then in the future. However, she could not change the afterlife fate of the souls of dead people. This became possible only in New Testament times.

“All Old Testament people and even the prophets were bound by sin and, as bound, did not have the power to free anyone from mortal bonds. But the Lord Jesus Christ appeared, a perfect Man and a perfect God. By His power He redeemed us from eternal death. And in His face we have hope and hope for salvation” (priest Dimitry Shishkin).

What does a memorial service for the deceased mean?

A memorial service is an all-night vigil or funeral service that helps the deceased pass painlessly from the world of the living to the afterlife.

This is a kind of request or intercession for the deceased before the Lord. A memorial service helps remove a large number of sins from the deceased.

During his lifetime, a person himself could pray for himself, ask for forgiveness of sins. Priests in church or relatives at home can ask for the dead. This is a real life preserver that alleviates the suffering of the deceased.

A memorial service for the repose can be ordered in any church, on any day and year, the main thing is that the deceased is baptized and Orthodox. Along with submitting a note of repose, you can bring food to the temple.

There are 2 types of services:

• The first lasts 6-7 minutes. It can be read by everyone, not just the priest, both in church and at home.
• A long funeral service lasts approximately 20 minutes, and most are held in a church or cemetery.

Send “For the Repose” notes more often, order memorial services. A funeral service can be ordered every year on the day of death of a person, as well as on his birthday. She passes in front of the eve, a special table with candles and a Crucifix.

How to order a prayer service? A prayer service can be ordered for any need, as well as a thanksgiving prayer service. It can be ordered on any day, except those when prayer services are not held. They will tell you about this in the church shop.

Sorokoust is ordered not only for the year, but on any other day. To order it, you need to go to the church shop. The commemoration will last 40 days, which is why it is called “Sorokoust”.

Memorial dinner on the anniversary of death: spiritual meaning

For Orthodox Christians, a wake is not a reason to gather for dinner with loved ones to discuss everyday problems. A memorial dinner on the anniversary of death is an opportunity to pray together for the repose of the soul. The funeral food itself is a kind of alms for those present. Therefore, a folk tradition has developed to arrange a hearty and tasty treat.

“Just as when we visit prisoners, we bring them soft drinks and the like and thereby alleviate their suffering, so we alleviate the suffering of the deceased with prayers and alms that we perform for the repose of their souls” (Reverend Paisius the Svyatogorets, 1924-1994).

The memorial table on the anniversary of death should not be perceived as a formal ritual (although it is important). The main thing in commemoration should be a prayer to the Lord to grant the soul of the deceased the Kingdom of Heaven. Prayer can be either at home or in church. On the day of remembrance, if possible, you should submit a note for the Liturgy. You need to order a special memorial service at the church - a memorial service.

“The Holy Church embraces all people with its love and cares for all its children. It encourages you and me to also show love for our neighbors, to care for them, not only the living, but also the dead. Because Christian love never runs out. She goes into eternity, there are no barriers to love, therefore for her there is no death or decay.

And the Holy Church, when commemorating the dead, encourages us to always respond to the call of the Church to perform such commemoration. We must always, at any time, remember our deceased. We do this during the Divine Liturgy, during the proskomedia, during the requiem service. And in our prayers at home, the Holy Church commands us to pray not only for the living, but also for the dead” (Archpriest Vasily Stoiko).

Is it possible to remember earlier?

Everyone tries to book a memorial service on the same day, or one day before the anniversary. If for some reason you have to do it earlier or later, then this point must be discussed with the priest.

If the anniversary coincides with a major religious holiday, the priest may advise rescheduling the funeral. But on the date of departure, a visit to the temple and cemetery is mandatory.

It is important to know that the annual date may fall on major church holidays, such as Easter or Bright Week. These days they don’t remember. The commemoration is postponed to the next weekend - it can be a little earlier or later than the memorable date.

Celebrating the year during Holy Week is also not recommended. These days, all thoughts and actions should be given to prayers in the name of the Savior.

Funeral: echoes of the past

In the modern world, along with the Orthodox tradition of remembering neighbors, some funeral rites that have their roots in paganism have been preserved.

So, for example, remembering with food in a cemetery is a residual phenomenon of the pagan funeral feast. Before the adoption of Christianity in Rus', it was believed that it was necessary to share a meal with the deceased. Otherwise, he will allegedly remain unsatisfied.

Since pagan times, the tradition of observing a special order at the funeral table has also been preserved. The head of the table should be the owner of the house. On both sides of him are relatives according to the degree of closeness of relationship to the deceased. This has nothing to do with Orthodoxy. The fate of the deceased does not depend on the strict order of placing people at the table, but on the intense prayer performed for him.

It is still widely believed that during a wake there must be a plate (and even a glass of vodka) on the table for the deceased. This is an echo of the pagan past. The disembodied soul is no longer required for food to strengthen its strength. For her, only prayer with alms matters.

“The dead expect prayer from us first of all. Because prayer is not just words. Prayer is an appeal to God, an appeal to the Saints, and we reach a different, inexplicable to the human mind, spiritual level of communication. This is precisely the area of ​​faith, faith that we are really awaited, awaited for a special commemoration, for our special pious behavior” (Archpriest Georgy Gulyaev).

Should I believe omens?

Various signs are invented regarding the dead and cemeteries. It is believed that you should not bring any things home after a funeral or visiting a cemetery.

People are truly overcome with fear if they suddenly discover that they have brought something home. You shouldn’t be afraid of this, because these are just things and nothing more.

Superstitions and signs are invented in order to replace faith in God, to divert attention from an important matter to all sorts of nonsense. There is no need to give in to this. The Church does not recognize superstitions and absurd signs.

Memorial dinner on the anniversary of death

It is advisable to invite Christian believers who are able to pray for the deceased to a memorial dinner on the anniversary of death. Before the funeral meal itself, one should read kathisma 17 (psalm 118), as well as a prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased. At the funeral meal, it is customary to remember the good deeds of the deceased. Entertaining conversations and songs are considered undesirable. One should not remember or discuss the bad deeds of the deceased.

A common question is: what to cook for a funeral for 1 year? A sample menu for the anniversary of death may be as follows.

The funeral meal begins with kutya (koliva). Traditionally, this dish is prepared from boiled wheat grains mixed with honey. Sometimes wheat is replaced with rice with raisins. The grains symbolize the resurrection in the next century, and the addition of honey or raisins reminds of the sweetness of life of the righteous in the Kingdom of Heaven. For the funeral table, kutya is consecrated during a memorial service in the church.

In some regions of Russia, “obligatory” funeral dishes include pancakes and jelly.

The rest of the dishes at the funeral meal may depend on the seasons, whether the day of the funeral falls on a fast day, as well as on the financial wealth of the relatives. There is nothing wrong if the food is modest and “no frills.” These can be fish or meat dishes (sliced ​​meats, cutlets), noodle soup or borscht, vegetable salads, sandwiches, pies, gingerbreads.

The Holy Fathers categorically prohibit commemoration with alcoholic beverages. A state of intoxication does not contribute to a prayerful attitude. According to Saint John Chrysostom (347-407),

“Whoever commemorates with wine asks for great torment for the one commemorated.”

General principles

Of course, the composition of the food will largely depend on the wealth of the family, the culinary traditions common in the area and on the number of people who are expected to come to the funeral. If you have the opportunity to cook everything at home with your family, you should offer those who come a simple lunch, without wasting time and effort on creating a complex menu and putting it into practice.

Funeral traditions also have their own obligatory dishes. This is, first of all, ritual kutia - porridge cooked from whole grains and flavored with honey and raisins. The funeral dinner itself should remain strict and simple, maintain mental and physical strength, and help maintain an atmosphere appropriate to the given moment. It is desirable that there be an even number of dishes, which must be consumed in a certain sequence.

First prayer for the departed

Remember, O Lord our God, in faith and hope the life of Thy eternal departed servant (Thy departed servant, Thy departed servant) (name), and as the Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins, and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake, and forgive all who will. (her) sins and involuntary, elevating him (s) to Your holy second coming into the communion of Your eternal blessings, for the sake of the only faith in You, the true God and Lover of mankind; for Thou art the resurrection and the life and the rest of Thy servant (name), Christ our God, and to Thee we ascribe glory, with Thy beginningless Father, and with the Most Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, Amen.

Second prayer

God of spirits and all flesh, having trampled down death and abolished the devil, and given life to Thy world!

Himself, Lord, give rest to the souls of your departed servants: your most holy patriarchs, your eminence metropolitans, archbishops and bishops, who served you in the priestly, ecclesiastical and monastic ranks; the creators of this holy temple, the Orthodox forefathers, fathers, brothers and sisters, lying here and everywhere; leaders and warriors who laid down their lives for the faith and fatherland, the faithful, who were killed in internecine warfare, drowned, burned, frozen to death, torn to pieces by beasts, suddenly died without repentance and did not have time to reconcile with the Church and with their enemies; in the frenzy of the mind of those who committed suicide, those for whom we were commanded and asked to pray, for whom there is no one to pray, and the faithful, Christian burial deprived of (the name of the rivers) in a bright place, in a green place, in a place of peace, from where sickness, sadness and sighing can escape .

Every sin committed by them in word or deed or thought, as a good Lover of mankind, God forgives, as if there is no man who will live and not sin. For You are the only one besides sin, Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and Your word is truth.

Troparion (from the Sequence of the Dirge)

Build with the depth of wisdom all things humanely and bestow upon all that are useful, O One Creator, rest, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant (or: the soul of Thy servant; for many: the souls of Thy servant), for place their trust in Thee (or for many: place their trust), the Creator and the Creator and our God. Glory, even now: To you and the Wall and the Refuge of the Imams, and the Prayer Book favorable to God, Whom You gave birth to, O Blessed Mother of God, the salvation of the faithful.

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