“Wingings” or memorial days for Orthodox Christians, when to celebrate them correctly: dates for 2021. Funeral table for 40 days: menu

Memorial calendars for 2021. Customs, traditional prayers and the meaning of memorial days among Orthodox Christians.

Memorial days, memorial meals and other customs help to understand how to say goodbye to the deceased correctly. This is probably the main purpose of customs and rituals - to orient people on how to do memorial days at a time when it is difficult for them. In our next article we will try to tell you as accurately as possible about the funeral menu and rules for 40 days, parental memorial days and other customs that the Orthodox Church prescribes to observe.

Memorial days after a funeral: how to count correctly among Orthodox Christians?

When 9 days pass after the funeral, how do you count memorial dinners on which days? When is it especially important to pray for the soul of the deceased and say words on the memorial day? Such questions are very often asked by loved ones of a deceased relative. And there really is something to think about, because days 9 and 40 are calculated taking into account the day of death. And the memorial date turns out to be 1 day less than if you simply added 9 to the date of death.

For example, a person died on December 1, this means that nine days after his death will be December 9. And not December 10, as in ordinary arithmetic, when 1+9=10.

Memorial days after a funeral - how to count correctly for Orthodox Christians? Use the rule - date of death plus nine days and minus one.

The funeral menu and rules for 40 days are also timed to coincide with the date, which is calculated in a similar way.

For example, a person passed away on December 1, December has 31 days. We take into account that the day of death is also counted, and we get that 31 days from the moment of death passed in December. There are still 9 days short of forty days, we add them and we get that 40 days will be on January 9th.

Please note that you need to count 9 and 40 days from the day of death, and not from the day of the funeral.

Memorial days after a funeral, how to count correctly for Orthodox Christians? What is the meaning behind these dates? This question is complex, the video below expresses the opinion that time exists only for the living, and the souls of the dead live in a world where there is no time. And it’s good for them that they are remembered with a kind word, they pray for them, and funeral services are held. It makes no difference at what point in time this happens.

What is Parents' Saturday

There are different interpretations as to why the commemoration takes place on Saturday.

According to the first, God created the earth in six days, and on the seventh he rested. For quite a long time, the seventh day was Saturday. A day of rest and tranquility is well suited for honoring the memory of the dead.

According to the second version, “Saturday” means “intercession.” When remembering the dead, people ask for them before the Lord. It is also customary to give alms to the poor in order to provide spiritual assistance to the deceased.

The name “parental” comes from the custom of calling the dead “parents,” in other words, those who went to their forefathers. According to another version, this name is because believers often first honor their father and mother.

VIDEO: About the need to remember the dead without paying attention to dates

There is also a church legend that goes from mouth to mouth, which says that the funeral menu and rules for 40 days were invented for a reason. They say that the soul of the deceased does not immediately go to another world, but speeches and words on the memorial day must be kind and are especially important on these days.

They say that for 3 days after death the soul of the deceased remains near the body.
After the 3rd day, the soul of the deceased goes to heaven. And there he remains until the 9th day, in beauty, luxury and surrounded by Angels. The figure of 9 days echoes the fact that there are 9 angelic ranks. However, if the soul of the deceased was sinful, the divine beauty of the heavenly chambers begins to depress it.
From day 9 to day 40 the soul goes to hell. This figure also echoes the biblical scripture, which says that Jesus resurrected on the third day after his crucifixion, then appeared to the apostles for 40 days. And on the 40th day, in his earthly flesh, he ascended to heaven and his body became divine and invisible to the human eye. The Orthodox world celebrates this event with the Feast of the Ascension.

Widow's Prayer

Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears. You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not consign him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the Heavenly abodes, which You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even to your last breath of confession; impute to him the same faith, even in You, instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and confess that You will hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave; How did You open to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, the doors of Your mercy and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, the hedgehog to have mercy and save, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Parents' memorial days: dates of parents' Saturdays and Radonitsa for 2021

It is important to remember your deceased loved ones, but the funeral liturgy and prayers are even more necessary for those who have no one to remember. Someone found his death and was not buried according to Christian custom, someone simply has no one to remember, and someone died so long ago that his name has already been forgotten and lost through the centuries. The 2021 calendar of memorial days will tell you the days on which it is worth stopping and remembering the dead, your family members and all other people who are no longer alive.

Parents' memorial days - dates of parents' Saturdays and Radonitsa for 2021:

2 ecumenical parental Saturdays are circled in red - Meat and Trinity .

These days, special services are held in churches, the purpose of which is to facilitate the existence in the afterlife of all Christians since the time of Adam and Eve. Meatless Saturday got its name because it is followed by Meatless Sunday - the day when Orthodox Christians begin to prepare for Lent and “release” meat. After this parental Saturday comes the joyful holiday of Maslenitsa, but Meat Saturday already forces us to gather, pray for the dead, realize that our earthly path is not eternal and prepare for Lent.
The second universal parental Saturday, Trinity, falls on the Saturday before Trinity . Scripture says that on the Day of the Holy Trinity an Angel descended to the Apostles, who gave them the power to preach. This day is considered the birthday of the Church. And on the eve it is customary to serve an ecumenical memorial service, during which prayers are raised to heaven for the souls of all deceased Orthodox Christians.

Parents' memorial days: dates of parents' Saturdays and Radonitsa for 2021.

Memorial days or parental Saturdays in 2021

Parental Saturdays that fall during Lent are indicated in orange on the calendars . During this period, there are few days when full services are held in churches, which means there is an opportunity to pray for the dead. In order not to deprive the departed of prayers, the church has specially designated days, or parental Saturdays, on which commemoration is performed.
Special days of remembrance are highlighted in green. On May 9, services are held in churches to commemorate those who died during the Great Patriotic War.
Radonitsa in the Orthodox calendar is designated on Tuesday after St. Thomas Sunday, in other words, on Tuesday, a week after Easter. Radonitsa still remains one of the most controversial customs. It has two meanings: on the one hand, around these days, our ancestors also had a day of remembrance in the pre-Christian era. On the other hand, Christian tradition excludes memorial services for a whole week after Easter, since this is a very bright holiday. If a person dies during this period, he is buried in a special way. And Radonitsa is one of the dates officially recognized by the church, on which days funeral dinners should be held at home, alms should be given to the poor and people should go to the cemetery.
The 2021 calendar of memorial days also includes a special memorial service on September 11 , the Day of the Beheading of John the Baptist. The tradition of commemorating fallen soldiers on this day was approved by Catherine II. This date is often ignored in modern worship.
Dmitrievskaya Parents' Saturday falls on the Saturday before Dmitriev's Day ( November 6 ). Initially, it was a day of remembrance for the soldiers who fell on the Kulikovo Field, but gradually turned into a day of remembrance for all the dead.

For more information about the important dates of the Orthodox church calendar, read the articles:

Calendar of fasting, parental Saturdays and full weeks in 2021: dates.
Orthodox church wedding calendar for 2021: favorable days, beautiful dates for weddings in 2021, signs for weddings

Widower's Prayer

Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You blessed the marital union of husband and wife, when you said: it is not good for man to be alone, let us create for him a helper for him. You have sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and confess that You have blessed me to unite me in this holy union with one of Your handmaids. By your good and wise will you deigned to take away from me this servant of yours, whom you have given to me as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; Love earthly things more than heavenly things; Even if you care more about the clothing and decoration of your body than about the enlightenment of the clothing of your soul; or even careless about your children; if you upset anyone by word or deed; If there is a grudge in your heart against your neighbor or condemn someone or anything else you have done from such evil people. Forgive her all this, for she is good and philanthropic; for there is no man who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, as Thy creation, do not condemn her to eternal torment for her sin, but have mercy and mercy according to Thy great mercy. I pray and ask You, Lord, to grant me strength throughout the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for Your departed servant, and even until the end of my life to ask her from You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive her sins. Yes, as if You, God, placed a crown of stone on her head, crowning her here on earth; Thus crown me with Thy eternal glory in Thy Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, so that together with them He may forever sing Thy all-holy name with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Funeral menu and rules for 40 days

The tradition of holding funeral dinners or funeral feasts came to us from time immemorial, and initially it was customary to seat the poor, crippled, orphans at the table - in short, those who themselves could not afford delicious food.

The funeral menu and rules for 40 days are prescribed to show mercy on this day, feed the needy, and from the bottom of your heart treat people with what you are rich in.
The only traditional dish on the funeral table is kolivo or kutia . Initially, kutia was prepared from wheat or barley grains, which symbolized death, which brings life with it. When the grain falls into the ground, it rots, but a whole ear is born from it. Honey was also traditionally added to kolivo - it symbolized the sweetness of life after resurrection. Nowadays kutya is often prepared from rice.

Kutya for a funeral dinner for 40 days
A funeral table for 40 days during Lent should contain exclusively lenten dishes. It can be:

Kutya.
Lenten pancakes.
Lenten pies.
Lenten salads.
Pickles
Legumes

In general, food at a funeral is not particularly important; it is believed that people who have been to the church and cemetery are simply hungry, so the menu is prepared at your discretion. Also, but only from Lenten dishes, a funeral table is assembled for 40 days during Lent.

Funeral prayer for 40 days after death

The rules for 40 days for Christians, first of all, must be combined with prayer. You can pray at home yourself, but it is believed that it is better to do it in a temple.

It’s good on the evening before 40 days from the date of the death of the deceased to go to church and submit a note “for proskomedia” - the initial part of the service, when a prayer is read for all baptized and deceased Christians. And in the morning come to church yourself.
You can also submit a note to a memorial service - a special service designed to help the deceased. You can find out on what days the memorial service is celebrated in the church. In churches near cemeteries, funeral services are often held every day.
A memorial prayer for 40 days after death can also be read at the grave of the deceased. To do this, a priest is invited to the cemetery to serve a funeral litany . The prayer for the 9th memorial day can be the same as for the 40th.
Those who cannot afford to invite a priest have the opportunity to pray for the deceased themselves by reading a litany for the laity at the cemetery.

One of the texts that can be read at the grave of a deceased person is below:

Prayer for the deceased

In continuation, it is customary to read “Our Father.” Such a memorial prayer for 40 days after death is read by ordinary people. This text has been adapted to be clearer.

Continuation of the litia for the laity

Parents' prayer for deceased children

Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom your deceased servant (your servant), my child (name), and create for him (her) eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord. I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Funeral lunch for 9 days: menu

This lunch can contain any food, perhaps, with the exception of those that are associated with celebration and fun, such as soda, cream puffs and cakes. However, the table can and should be rich and satisfying.

Funeral lunch for 9 days - example menu:

Borsch with sour cream.
Chicken fillet chops.
Pork cutlets.
Fish baked in foil.
Greek salad.
Salad with cheese and rice.
Pancakes with honey.
Compote, or better yet jelly.

Prayer for the 9th memorial day is important, but it is also important to show mercy to people. One of the traditions is to distribute donuts at funerals. Below we will tell you how to prepare funeral crumpets for 9 days; we suggest taking recipes so that the dough turns out airy and sweet.

Kefir donuts

To prepare the dish you will need the following ingredients:

Funeral donuts for 9 days

Kefir and sour cream are mixed with soda and left for 10 minutes.
Beat the egg, vanillin, vegetable oil and salt.
Then mix the egg mixture with kefir.
Finally add flour and lemon zest. The dough should not take long; the egg white may shrink due to acidity.
The dough is rolled out and circles are pressed out using a mug.
The donuts are fried over moderate heat in vegetable oil.
Before serving, they are sprinkled with powdered sugar.

VIDEO: Kefir donuts

Funeral donuts for 9 days: recipes with yogurt

Donuts do not have to be prepared according to old recipes. Products such as yogurt and ready-made baking powder will also be appropriate.

VIDEO: Donuts with yogurt

Funeral table on the day of the funeral: menu

How to set a funeral table on the day of a funeral, in accordance with Christian tradition? The menu does not provide for strict rules; the only thing is that it must be made up of products allowed during Lent, if the sad date falls during this time.

However, there are some optional traditions that tell you how to properly set the funeral table on the day of the funeral; the menu may contain:

Kutyu.
Pancakes without filling with honey.
Kissel - this particular drink was traditional at funerals for many years.

What to prepare at the cemetery on a memorial day, is it possible to take candy?

The Church does not strictly prohibit holding funeral dinners in a cemetery, but many clergy are inclined to believe that it is better to do them at home. Those who are wondering what to cook at the cemetery on a memorial day, whether it is possible to take sweets, have probably heard that leaving food and alcoholic drinks on graves is a pagan rite.

The Orthodox Church says that food brought to a cemetery should not be left on gravestones, but distributed into the hands of those in need.
For those who are thinking about how to properly spend a memorial day, it will also be important that the church does not approve of the consumption of alcoholic beverages at a memorial service.

When deciding what to prepare at the cemetery on a memorial day, whether you can take sweets with you, it is important to remember what significance this day is endowed with in Christianity. Radonitsa is the date when the living go to the cemetery to visit their deceased relatives to tell them the good news of the resurrection of Christ. This message should bring comfort and say that the separation of the dead and the living is not eternal. Therefore, eggs and Easter cakes will come in handy on this day. You can take sweets here if you wish.

What not to do on Trinity Parents' Saturday

It is undesirable to eat in a cemetery and place food near the grave, especially alcoholic drinks. The flesh of the dead does not require food; now you should think about their souls and pray to the Almighty to forgive their sins.

There is no need to be sad and cry; you should think about the deceased with bright joy. Remember that tomorrow there will be a big holiday - Trinity, so you can’t be sad.

You should not organize noisy parties and have loud fun, you should give up alcohol.

Sewing or embroidery is not allowed. You should also not contact water. It is forbidden to wash, wash or swim in bodies of water.

Is it possible to work on memorial day and get a manicure?

Radonitsa is not considered the twelfth church holiday, which means you can work on this day. But please note that Radonitsa is exactly Tuesday, 9 days after Easter. In some areas it is traditional to go to cemeteries earlier - on Sunday or Monday. And in this case, those who are concerned about the question of whether it is possible to work on a memorial day, get a manicure, get a haircut - will receive a negative answer regarding work. You cannot work for nine whole days after Easter until Tuesday.

When deciding whether it is possible to work on a memorial day, do a manicure, get a haircut or clean up, you need to understand that the church does not forbid you to go about your business. Especially if there is an urgent need for it. Another thing is that you shouldn’t replace going to church with going to the hairdresser.

VIDEO: Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased

On our website you will find many recipes for delicious and beautiful Lenten dishes :

Lenten tartlets and Lenten salads for their filling.
The best meatless sandwiches.
Lenten cutlets: vegetable, mushroom and fish.