The birth of a child is a long-awaited and joyful event. At the same time, parents must understand their mission to raise the child given to them by God.
This is a complex process of instilling moral principles, faith and morality. Day-to-day care of children takes a lot of strength and energy.
Therefore, the spiritual enlightenment of the child is shared with the godparents.
Children are a gift from God. The mission of parents is to help their child recognize the path that the Lord has determined for him
Choosing godparents is always a difficult decision. And Orthodox mom and dad approach this task seriously.
However, finding worthy adopters who will take responsibility before the Almighty for a child is one of the main moments in life.
And the question often arises whether it is possible for a husband and wife of one child to be godparents.
Lent in 2021: is it possible to get married, have a wedding and baptize children
Many people wonder whether it is possible to baptize children and have a wedding during Lent. To get rid of doubts and find out answers to important questions, you need to know what the clergy say about this.
The time of Lent is a test for everyone. This period is important not only for the refusal of meat and dairy products. This is the time when every person grows spiritually, becoming closer to God. Lent lasts seven weeks, six of which are dedicated to a time of repentance and daily prayer. By avoiding this, it is impossible to cleanse yourself spiritually. The Church has created certain rules that must be followed in order to fill the heart with even greater love for the Lord. First of all, the rules apply to weddings, weddings and baptisms during the Easter Lent.
Baptism in Lent
Many Orthodox believers are haunted by the question of whether it is possible to baptize a child during Lent. To this question, every church minister will answer that there are no restrictions on carrying out this ritual. On the contrary, Lent is the best time to baptize a child. However, we should not forget that during the period of fasting many believers try to visit the temple, so it is better to agree in advance with the priest about holding the sacrament. As a rule, the liturgy takes a long time, and the rite of baptism itself is most often carried out after the service.
Who are godfather and godfather? And what kind of relationship should they have?
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Spiritual norms and civil laws are completely different things. The question: whether godfathers can marry is not in doubt in civil law, because such laws do not provide for restrictions on marriage on this principle. The problem is the desire to get married in a church.
Orthodox marriage - understand the essence
The establishment of mandatory preparatory conversations before the Sacrament of Marriage is performed is another important provision of the document. Many people who get married either do not understand the meaning of a wedding or understand it very differently. (As in the case of baptism - “so that the child does not get sick.”) At interviews, a detailed explanation of the texts of the wedding rite is possible, so that those wishing to get married understand the full significance and depth of the upcoming sacrament.
When you conduct conversations before baptism, you often ask the question which of those present is married. It often turns out that out of thirty people, not a single one is married. When asked “why,” people say that they are afraid to get married or don’t get married because it will be difficult to get a divorce later.
Often weddings are perceived in a negative rather than a positive sense. Interviews will help believers understand what happens during the sacrament itself, and what an Orthodox marriage is in its essence.
Can a godfather marry his godfather?
When two people of different genders act as godparents, they take an oath not to engage in sexual relations. Thus, it turns out that they cannot get married. Many sacred ministers are guided by this position, misinterpreting the position of “spiritual kinship.”
The Church does not have a definite answer on this issue, despite the permission of such a marriage by the Synod. But if the godfathers decide to get married and perform the sacrament of wedding in the Orthodox Church, then the consent of the bishop of the diocese should be asked. But if this is considered a sin, then where is the logical explanation for getting permission to sin. In any case, here you can act either according to your conscience or according to the call of your heart.
Many sacred ministers, speaking about the ban on marriage, are simply playing it safe, without understanding the essence of the problem. If we are guided by the resolution of the Ecumenical Council, then marriage is impossible:
- between the godfather, goddaughter and mother of the baptized child;
- godmother, godson and father of the child.
Other situations are possible. Therefore, the godfather and godmother can marry.
Sometimes a misinterpretation leads to the destruction of a family of loving people. When one family heard that godparents should not marry, they dissolved the marriage relationship. Before making quick conclusions, you should study the problem and ask the opinion of an Orthodox priest.
The Lord is always with you!
Is it possible for godparents to marry?
Hello “I Breathe Orthodoxy”! We are a young couple and want to get married, but we recently became godparents of one child. Is it possible for godparents to marry? The godson's parents (very religious people) say that according to the canons we cannot get married, because we are godparents of one child. They refer to Article 211 of the Nomocanon. Tell me what should we do? Oleg and Evgenia, Voronezh.
First of all, it should be remembered that having two godparents is a tradition, not a church rule. In different local churches, this tradition is observed in different ways. For example, in the Serbian Church, according to tradition, only one godparent is allowed (for a girl - a woman, for a boy - a man). In Georgia, for example, the number of godparents may not be limited, and according to some traditions, you can even become a godparent in absentia. The Russian Church adopted the tradition of having two godparents from the Greek Church. But I emphasize that this is just a tradition, and not a mandatory church rule.
But with this reasoning, the question arises - what to do with the rule that regulates the prohibition of godparents of one child from marrying? The two hundred and eleventh article of the Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik reads: “If a husband and wife baptize a child for one person, we command that whoever does not mix with each other is imputed to the godfather.” In 1730, on the issue of the origin of this rule (and in general its authority), a request was created for the theological commission and on May 30 of the same year, the Holy Synod expressed serious canonical doubts about this rule: “And that the Nomocanon paragraph 211 was printed in the Trebnik, and that point is very doubtful because from whom it was stated and in which years, it has not been published and is very unknown” (for more details, see in the affairs of May 30, 1730, in the Complete Collection of Resolutions and Orders for the Office of the Orthodox Confession, vol. VII, No. 2308).
A little later, the Synod formulated a Decree, from the publication of which Article 211 of the Nomocanon lost its force:
“The recipient and the successor (godfather and godfather) are not related to themselves; Because at Holy Baptism there is one person, necessary and valid: male for those baptized of the male sex, and female for those baptized of the female sex.”
(Decree of the Holy Synod of January 19, 1810).
Several decades later, the Holy Synod consolidated this position by issuing another decree:
“As for the second recipient, he does not create a spiritual relationship either with the baptized person or with the first recipient, therefore, from a theological point of view, marriage between the recipients (godparents) of one baptized baby is considered possible”
(Decree of the Holy Synod of December 31, 1837).
(quoted from S. Bulgakov - Handbook of a clergyman, Vol. 4. Publication of the Moscow Patriarchate, M.: 1983, p. 234.)
Apparently, despite the previous decrees of the Synod, there was still some confusion and misunderstanding among the people about the degrees of spiritual kinship. Therefore, several decades later, the Holy Synod issues another decree, according to which marriage between godparents is allowed only with the blessing of the ruling bishop:
“The godfather and godmother of the same baby can marry only after the permission of the diocesan bishop.”
(Decree of the Holy Synod of April 19, 1873).
Thus, to this day, there is no reason to prohibit godparents of one child from marrying. The only thing you need to do, according to the rules, is to write a petition to the ruling bishop of your diocese, asking him to bless you for a church marriage.
Anatoly Badanov, administrator of the missionary project “Breathing Orthodoxy”
A dilemma regarding the question “Can godparents who have baptized one child marry?” worries a lot of people. This list includes both the godparents themselves and the child’s blood parents. If, when choosing godparents, we are guided by the principle that people in a relationship cannot become godparents, then, in this case, warm and tender relationships can quite likely develop between godparents free from relationships.
A young couple who has fallen in love with each other begins to build their relationship and is already planning their wedding, when suddenly they learn about the terrible fact that they are forbidden to marry. How to deal with the problem that has arisen? Can godfathers get married or is it still not worth playing with fate? It is not for nothing that such unions have been considered prohibited for a long time.
What about the registry office?
As you read this document, certain questions arise regarding its contents. For example, the text contains the following words:
“In modern practice, a wedding before the state registration of a marriage is possible as an exception with the blessing of the diocesan bishop - for example, in cases of upcoming participation in hostilities, a serious illness or a long separation of the future spouses.”
It is not entirely clear from the text why in these cases a wedding is possible without registration at the registry office.
If these provisions are prescribed, then it may be worthwhile to explain in the document itself why these conditions are considered acceptable for a wedding before state registration. Maybe if, for example, a young man is drafted into the army, it would be more appropriate to get engaged? After all, in the ancient Church betrothal and wedding did not take place on the same day. Why not return to a similar tradition in such situations?
If people who want to tie the knot, for objective reasons, do not have time to formalize the relationship in accordance with the law, they can get engaged, and when the situation normalizes, enter into both a civil and church marriage. This provision could be spelled out in more detail in the document.
Who to choose as godparents and who cannot become one
The main requirements of the church for applicants for succession are their unwavering faith and observance of the commandments of Jesus Christ, as well as participation in church life (you need to attend services, receive communion, and so on) and knowledge of at least the basic prayers of the Orthodox (“Our Father”, “ Gospel" and others). These people should be friendly to others, lead a godly lifestyle and set an extremely positive example for their godson.
Blood parents, like adoptive parents, are not allowed to baptize. They can only observe the process from the side. A natural mother cannot be a godmother, and a father cannot be a godfather to his child, although there is one exception. If the newborn is seriously ill, is in the hospital and cannot be brought to church for the sacrament, then the mother is allowed to baptize him herself.
The Church also prohibits making the following recipients:
- Atheists or professing other religions.
- Baptized, but denying at least one canon of religion.
- Practitioners of magical pagan rituals.
- Those who came to baptism against their will or reluctantly.
- Children under 14 years of age.
- Monks and other clergy with the exception of the priest. Boys can have one priest as their godparent; girls must also have a godmother along with him.
- People leading an immoral lifestyle.
- Mentally retarded people.
- Women, during critical days (menstruation), since at this time dirt “pouring out” of them.
Since the priest conducting the sacrament will not check everyone who baptizes a child, the responsibility for their compliance with church requirements falls on the shoulders of the parents.
All other Orthodox believers who truly want to take responsibility before God for the baby can become recipients. It is best if they are close relatives - aunts and uncles, sisters and brothers over 14 years old, grandparents, godmothers (those whose children's parents are godparents). The Church allows the choice of complete strangers if the parents are confident that they will become better recipients than anyone else.
Godfather and godfather - about “godparents” and sin between godfathers
Recently I came across a situation that discouraged me. It turns out that people do not know what godfathers are - godfather and godfather - and what obligations life imposes on them. They do not understand the essence of the relationship between godfathers and do not see the limits of what is permitted.
Many have heard the saying: “What kind of godfather is it if you haven’t been under godfather,” but no one knows what consequences the sexual relationship between godfathers entails. How many problems this creates not only in their lives, but also in the life of the child to whom they are godparents, as well as in the lives of their own children. Why?
I will begin by giving an explanation of the concept of “godparents” and its role in the life of Orthodox Christians.
The Bible says that their children will answer for the sins of parents. The heavier the parents’ sins, the heavier the cross that their children will bear for them.
The godmother, godfather and the child they baptized are not just a tribute to custom, but a spiritual family before the Lord God. In former times, the choice of godfathers was taken very seriously, because godparents were not only spiritual mentors, but in fact, guardians of those children whom they baptized. It’s not for nothing that they don’t take husband and wife as godparents—spiritual mentors must be spiritually pure among themselves.
When the godchildren grew up and got married, the godparents (godmothers) sat at the head of the wedding table along with their blood parents. If the blood parents died early for some reason, then the godfathers decided among themselves who would take in the orphan. They also allocated funds to the godson or goddaughter for a dowry and other expenses.
Godchildren were obliged to congratulate their godparents on all holidays and name days. It was especially important to congratulate the godparents on Happy Easter and Merry Christmas. Hand-made gifts were always given. The girls gave embroidery, sewn and knitted new clothes, tablecloths decorated with embossing and brightly embroidered flowers, etc.
A shirt, a belt or some other pleasant trifle was embroidered for the godfather.
The godson made a stool, a box with his own hands, or bought mint gingerbread in a shop.
A strict rule was respected in families: the name of the godfather and godmother was entered into the family memorial for health, and if godfathers died, then they were entered for the repose of the deceased and they always prayed to God for the deceased godparents.
They took godparents, if necessary, for additional feeding and care in old age.
The obligations of the parties were strong, and the connection was unbreakable, because there was no greater sin if spiritual mentors and godsons were at enmity.
And now - about adultery between godfathers. People do not know what they are doing, violating all spiritual rules, but ignorance of the laws does not exempt them from responsibility.
Reasons for the ban
Marriage, in particular a wedding, is the spiritual unity of a man and a woman. The sacrament of baptism is a more significant unity between the godparents of mom and dad with each other and with the child, weakening all other ties. For Christians, a married couple risks destroying their unity or not finding a spiritual connection with their godson, therefore they cannot baptize one child (as they say in the Orthodox faith; Catholics and Protestants have a different opinion on this matter).
