Despite serious resistance from the authorities, even in the harsh Soviet years, people found the opportunity to carry out the baptism ceremony for their children. According to it, the fate of a person is entrusted to the Lord God, and the role of spiritual mentors is assigned to the so-called godparents. Currently, there is no prohibition on baptizing children, and this rite has successfully migrated to the status of vitally important. Hence the need for such parents has increased significantly. It is no coincidence that the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents for one child has come to the fore: people are logically concerned about the correctness of the Christian rite and its compliance with church principles. We propose to look into this issue once and for all, taking into account the authoritative opinions of clergy.
Godparents husband and wife: the opinion of the Moscow Patriarch on the reasons for the ban
The main requirement of the Orthodox Church for those who baptize a child is that they must steadfastly believe, live a church life, and know at least the most basic prayers (“Gospel”, “Our Father”, for example). This is urgently necessary so that in the future they can fully fulfill the role of teachers for their godson. Church parents should provide basic knowledge about the Orthodox faith and the spiritual principles of human existence. If the recipients are people ignorant of such matters, then great doubts arise in their initial desire to become godparents.
The Church strictly monitors the fulfillment of every condition relating to the sacrament of baptism, and has a negative attitude towards cases when people deliberately do not comply with certain rules. There is an acute question about the possibility of becoming godparents of a man and woman who are married. The Orthodox religion has its own view on this matter, which is worth dwelling on in more detail.
According to Orthodox canons, a husband and wife cannot become spiritual parents of one child. It is believed that they are already one when they are married. And if both baptize the baby, this is wrong. This position is explained by the fact that during the sacrament of baptism, the recipients must gain integrity in relation to the child, and if they are already spiritually united, then the rite will not be recognized as valid.
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Some priests are loyal to this issue and reason like this: if the marriage was not concluded in the church, this gives the husband and wife the right to baptize one child, since their relationship was not sealed in heaven. To make sure whether a husband and wife can be godparents, seek the strong opinion of the highest religious officials and listen to what the Moscow Patriarchate thinks about this. Watch the video below which discusses the topic in detail.
Baptismal rules
Before the ceremony, future godparents undergo training in the church and become familiar with the basic rules:
Before the sacrament of baptism, they observe a three-day fast, confess and receive communion;
Be sure to wear an Orthodox cross;
Dress appropriately for the ceremony; women wear a skirt below the knees and be sure to cover their heads; do not use lipstick;
Godparents must know and understand the meaning of “Our Father” and “Creed”, as these prayers are said during the ceremony.
What does the Catholic Church say?
A newborn baby must appear before God immediately after birth, be cleansed of original sin, and unite with the church. This is how any religion argues and calls for baptisms to be carried out at an early age. The process of carrying out the ritual is the same almost everywhere: the baby is washed with water from the font in the temple, the liturgy is read, and at the end a cross is put on. The only difference is the requirements that allow or prohibit believers from taking certain steps. The Catholic Church differs from the Orthodox Church on many issues, and the rite of the sacrament of baptism was no exception.
It all starts with the parents coming to the church a couple of weeks in advance to discuss with the priest (priest of the Catholic Church) all the issues related to preparation for the ceremony, setting a date, and agreeing with who will baptize the child. Godparents in the Catholic faith are endowed with important powers in the child’s life, which include the responsibility to take him to Sunday school and prepare him for religious rites (community, confirmation). The approach to choosing godparents is doubly complex here and is an important task for any believer.
In addition to the awareness and high responsibility of godparents, the Catholic faith has its own rules for choosing a spiritual father and mother. According to the requirements of the church, only people who:
- They believe and practice Catholicism.
- They do not have any family ties with the baby.
- Have reached your 16th birthday. If the reasons are compelling, the abbot may make an exception.
- Catholics by religion who have undergone the sacrament of First Communion and confirmation (confirmation). This is a ritual of anointing, which is performed in adulthood. This is how Catholics confirm that they accepted the faith consciously.
- They are not the child's parents.
- They are husband and wife.
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Married couple – godparents of one child: superstitions and traditions
According to the traditions of the Orthodox Church, a man and woman who baptize a baby enter into a spiritual relationship. It is valued so highly that no other union is more important than this (including marriage). There are several traditions in the Orthodox faith that call into question the possibility of baptizing other people's children for a married couple. Here are the main points when spouses are prohibited from being heirs:
- A couple of people are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of infant baptism if they are spouses. If this happens, then their marriage will not be able to exist on a spiritual level: it will not have a sacred bond.
- Similar to established spouses, a couple who intends to enter into a marriage does not have the right to baptize. Since at the time of baptism they will acquire a spiritual unity (kinship) that is exalted above the physical, they will have to abandon their relationship in favor of acquiring the status of godparents.
- A couple who lives in a civil marriage also does not have the right to become godparents to a child, because initially such ties are condemned by the church and are considered fornication.
Despite these prohibitions, there are options when a husband and wife have the right to baptize children of the same family if they meet other requirements of the Orthodox Church. They must do this separately: the man baptizes one child, and the woman baptizes the other. That is, spouses can baptize their siblings (or blood brothers, sisters). If they do this separately, they will not lose the sanctity of their marital union.
If baptism with adopted spouses still occurs due to ignorance, then such a situation can only be resolved by the highest authority of the church (the ruling bishop). The spouses appeal to the ruling bishop to get out of this situation. The outcome can be in the following ways: the marriage will be declared invalid or the spouses will be called to repentance for a sin committed out of ignorance.
Controversial cases
In exceptional cases, situations arise when parents have no other choice for godparents other than a single married couple. Doubts whether a husband and wife can be godparents for a child are more than relevant in this case. We must remember that, according to church rules, it is quite enough to assign only one godfather to the child, but of the same sex, that is, we choose a godfather for a boy, and a godmother for a girl.
In each case, when parents have individual questions or doubts about whether a husband and wife can be godparents, they should be discussed with the priest during preparation for baptism. Rarely, but still there are cases when the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents is decided positively by the church by special permission and due to exceptional circumstances.
Most of those who have undergone it know nothing about its features, since the moment of the sacrament occurred in early childhood. Therefore, questions about how the ceremony will take place and whether a husband and wife can be godparents are asked only when we are invited to become godparents or there is a need to conduct a ceremony for our child. Since baptism is an extremely important sacrament in the Christian tradition, it is worth resolving all controversial issues in advance.
Is it possible to take a husband and wife as godparents?
Traditionally, strict requirements are imposed on godparents, since the subsequent initiation of the child into the Church depends on them. In addition, they should provide all kinds of help outside of spiritual life. Baptism can only be performed once, so it will not be possible to abandon the godfather (mother) or change them later.
This is also true if the recipients have ceased to be Christians (began to lead an unrighteous lifestyle). So the choice of godparents must be carefully considered; these people will need to meet all the requirements (except in very rare cases) of the Orthodox Christian tradition. But most importantly, future recipients should be close to you; such responsibility should in no case be assigned to random people.
Guided by this rule, many are thinking of inviting close relatives or a well-known married couple to become godparents, but is this possible according to church laws? Can a husband and wife be godparents? There is a clear answer to this question: married people cannot become the adoptive parents of one child. Moreover, if the godparents then begin a relationship, the church will not be able to approve their marriage. If, in consultation with a priest, you answered in the affirmative to the question whether it is possible for a husband and wife to be godparents, then you are dealing with a trend that is not approved by the official church, simply put, a sect. But you don’t have to look for a couple, just one recipient whose gender will match the gender of the child is enough. This is a strict church requirement, and the invitation to the ceremony of two godparents is, by and large, only, since initially there was only one recipient.
Can a husband and wife be godparents of opposite-sex children of the same couple? There are no prohibitions in this regard, so if you really want your good friends to become the successors of your son and daughter, then you can invite them to this role, but only at different times.
Who else should not be made godparents?
If you decide to baptize your child, then you must know all the requirements and customs of the church, which prohibit taking children as successors (except for husband and wife):
- the baby's blood parents;
- one who has not been baptized or does not believe in any religion (atheist);
- a person who denies any truth of the Orthodox religion;
- if the one who baptizes treats the sacrament of baptism as a magical rite and pursues his own goals (in the pagan sense);
- people who do not want to become godparents for this child;
- adoptive father or adoptive mother;
- people who are members of other faiths;
- children under 14 years of age;
- monks and representatives of the church rank;
- people whose views are not subject to morality;
- persons with mental disabilities;
- women who experience cleansing days with their periods.
Responsibilities and Requirements
Choosing the right person is always difficult if for you the baptism of a child is nothing more than a formal ritual with nothing behind it. After all, you must be confident in this or that candidate, the spiritual purity of his personality, as well as good intentions. If a husband, for example, cheats on his wife, then even if he does not leave, it is better to choose another candidate.
- sharing Christian values;
- majority;
- completed baptismal rite;
- a sincere desire to take part in the life of the godson.
Who can be taken as a receiver?
When parents think about choosing a foster child for their child, they should be guided not only by their own considerations. It is necessary to comply with all religious rules, according to which the following can become a godfather or mother:
- His relatives are grandparents, aunts or uncles. Perhaps this will be an older sister or brother who has reached the age of fourteen.
- Godmothers (those whose child you yourself are the child’s successor).
- Godmother of the first child. It happens that a person has already baptized a baby in one family, but they had a second one, and the same godparents who baptized the firstborn were taken as godparents.
- If there are no recipients, then the priest who performs the ritual can become one.
- Pregnant woman.
- An unmarried girl who has no children.
Dear parents, you need to understand that you need to choose a person as a godparent who will not just take part in a church ceremony, but will truly love the baby and be able to become a spiritual mentor for him for life. Answering the question of who is allowed to take as a successor, the church implies a believer, responsible, conscious and loving person, so that the ritual acquires the correct meaning and ultimate purpose.
