The source of this story is the Internet. Taken from one site. I agree with much of this story. In fact, much in family life depends on a woman’s relationship with her man. If she believes him, respects him, trusts him with her life and gives him leadership in the family, such a man can achieve a lot in life.
Like a Wife, Like a Husband There is a story about a meeting between the wife and mistress of one man. They began to discuss him, and his wife said: “He is a fool, a miser and a scoundrel.” I don’t even understand why you’re hanging out with him! “You’re wrong,” answered the mistress, “he is a generous man, a sage, and a brave man!” Judge for yourself: every holiday brings me gorgeous gifts - rings, a fur coat, and a car. - That's not true! - my wife was indignant - He doesn’t even give me flowers on holidays, he doesn’t give me my salary! He's still a miser! - No! - objected the mistress. – He is a sage, it is always so interesting to communicate with him. He read a lot, knows a lot, has his own opinion about everything. I love listening to him - I learn so many new things! - You will say the same! – the wife grinned – He’s always talking nonsense and nonsense! It's disgusting to even listen to! What a scoundrel! He will never stand up for me, he won’t tell me how to do repairs at night - so he disappears, and I’m all on my own!!! “It’s like we’re talking about different men,” the mistress smiled. “Three days ago he even fought for me with the guy who called me names.” Never lets you carry anything heavier than a bouquet of flowers. And even at my house he hammered all the nails, laid parquet, tiles... I tell you, he is a generous man, a wise man and a brave man! And each of them is right. Because with one of them the man behaves in such a way that he looks like a scoundrel, and with the other he is a brave man. Although the man is the same. This story shows how much a woman influences a man. The same man can differ radically, depending on who is next to him. I know examples of alcoholics in their first marriage and successful businessmen in their second. And vice versa - I have seen successful men who left their first wife for a young girl. After a couple of years, they lost everything and became drinking bums. Why is this happening? Because the power of a woman is enormous. And her influence on a man is limitless. In fact, a woman “makes” a man. She reveals some qualities in him, and neutralizes others. Most often she acts unconsciously. Using generic scenarios and the experience of your family. If dad was successful, then she will unconsciously help him achieve success (she has such a picture before her eyes). And if dad was a loser or drank a lot, then her unconscious picture will lead the family to collapse. The problem is that women do not understand their power and do not pay enough attention to their thoughts and actions. They do not realize their strength and the possibilities of their influence on their husband. If we knew that we were born with a magic wand, we would hardly wave it in vain and order all sorts of nonsense, would we? Let's look at what a wife can do to a man, how she can influence his character and actions. LET'S START WITH THE NEGATIVE INFLUENCE OF THE WIFE AS A WIFE THINK ABOUT HUSBAND, SO HE BECOME. He sees only shortcomings and shortcomings in him - they multiply every day. And then even that man who has great potential to be a good husband becomes an ordinary horned animal from the goat family. IF A WIFE DOES NOT RESPECT HER HUSBAND, NO ONE WILL RESPECT HIM. Not family, not friends, not colleagues. We can say that a wife writes a certain word on her husband’s forehead that characterizes him. And according to this inscription, other people begin to build relationships with him. This is how a wife, without thinking, writes some nasty stuff with a permanent marker, and then is surprised... IF A WIFE DOESN'T TRUST HER HUSBAND AND DOESN'T OPEN HIM'S HEART, NO ONE TRUSTS HIM. Even if he is completely worthy of such trust, everyone around him will still constantly doubt him. And what kind of promotion or new prospects does that mean? IF THE WIFE IS ALWAYS DISSATISFIED WITH EVERYTHING, THEN EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY BECOME EQUALLY DISSATISFIED. They will have the wrong apartment, the wrong dinner, the wrong clothes, and the wrong rest. And even the parents will seem completely different. IF THE WIFE THINKS THAT IT COULD BE POSSIBLE TO FIND A BETTER HUSBAND, THIS IS THE FIRST STEP TO MALE CHEATING. It is said that the woman is always the first to cheat. True, she does this only mentally, and it is difficult to convict her of this. And a man cheats physically after his wife has given him such “permission” with her thoughts that he is far from the best. IF A WIFE IS STINGY AT HEART AND DOES NOT WANT TO SERVE HUSBAND, HE SEEKS SOLUTION FOR HIMSELF IN ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. If the wife does not allow her husband to do men's things - communicating with friends, fishing, garages and other nonsense in a woman's opinion, the husband seeks rest in a different way - in alcohol, computer games, smoking and other not the most joyful things. IF A WIFE DOES NOT OPEN HER HEART TO HUSBAND, HE BECOME GREEDY. And then you can’t beg him for snow even in winter, let alone flowers on March 8th. The moment a woman blocks her husband's access to her heart, he blocks her access to his wallet. IF THE WIFE IS TOO INDEPENDENT, THE HUSBAND BECOME IRRESPONSIBLE. Even if before this he was quite well responsible not only for himself, he seems to lose this skill, relaxes and merges with the sofa. IF THE WIFE IS TOUGH, THEN THE HUSBAND WILL BE ANGER. Anger manifests itself in our bodies in different ways. IF A WIFE IS MENTALLY UNFAITHFUL TO HER HUSBAND, HE WILL BE STINGY. Why should he waste money on a woman who, if not today, will find someone else tomorrow and leave? IF THE WIFE DOES NOT OBEY HUSBAND, THEN THE HUSBAND Ceases TO BE A MAN. He becomes irresponsible and unscrupulous, weak and “nothing.” If a wife regularly commits violence against her husband - for example, “blows his brains out” or yells at him, insults him, and so on, then the man will have two options. Or he becomes a resigned henpecked man, with a completely broken will and male Ego. Or he also begins to commit violence against his wife - most often physically. IF THE WIFE IS TOO ACTIVE IN EXTERNAL ACTIVITIES, THE HUSBAND BECOME A PASSIVE APPENDIX TO THE TV. Although earlier he could have been a quite successful businessman. BUT THERE IS A BACK SIDE! If a wife sees good qualities in her husband and focuses on them, they begin to grow and multiply. Even if there is no reason for this. Even if he was not supposed to be responsible, he becomes so. You shouldn’t be a boss, but suddenly you become one. And so on. If a wife respects her husband, for some reason his friends and colleagues begin to respect him. They support him and help him in difficult situations. If a wife trusts her husband, other people trust him. If a wife does not hide anything from her husband, does not deceive, opens her heart, then the husband will not be able to deceive his wife and cheat on her. If a wife opens her heart to her husband, he becomes generous. He begins to look for reasons to please her and make her even happier. If a wife sincerely serves her husband, he will take her under his protection with great pleasure. He will take care of her and protect her from everything. If a wife treats her husband’s temperament with understanding and tries to satisfy him, then the husband will move mountains for her. To do this, you need to learn to see the qualities of your husband, and not measure him with your stereotypes. If a wife wants to save the family, and sincerely and lovingly makes her feminine efforts for this, the same desire is born in the husband’s heart, and he begins to help his wife in this matter. This is the most important thing I want to convey to you. If your husband doesn’t like you with something, find the reason for it in yourself. And this work is worth investing time and energy into. What would I be like if I were a man? - Are you sure you want to know this? -Then look at your husband. This is how they would be. He lacks masculine qualities just as you lack feminine ones. For example, the husband drinks beer. Then your main job is acceptance. Accepting that he has the right to ruin his health if he wants. And this most likely speaks of your emotional dryness in your relationship with him. Perhaps he lacks support and encouragement. Or the husband doesn't want to work. Then you probably work too much and don't listen to him at all. And what's the point of kicking him and signing him up for interviews? Even if he goes there, with this attitude it won’t last long. Therefore, you need to change yourself. Why is the man lying on the sofa? Because a stressed woman is pushing it there. She rushes nearby like a meteor, sweeping away everything in her path, and in order to stay alive, he disguises himself as a throw on the sofa. If your husband does not help you with your children, think about whether you consider him a good father, worthy of being loved by your children just as much as you are? And didn’t you turn him away from helping, pointing out that he didn’t wash the baby’s bottom well and didn’t boil the bottle again? God gives us exactly what we deserve. Our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters - we cannot choose them. Therefore, you have to learn to accept. But it's different with husbands. There is an illusion of choice. There is a feeling that there could be another, better one. But this is only the appearance of choice. God also gives us spouses. Otherwise, how would we have met and fallen in love? How would we find each other in a crowd and gravitate towards each other? And since God gave you such a husband, it means that this is exactly what you deserve. But why and why - this is already worth thinking about. And what to do with it next is your choice and your scope for creativity. TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER! You can always blame each other and look for the speck in your spouse’s eye. Or you can pluck up courage and look into your own eyes with their logs. And when you notice and look at your logs, you will finally be able to see that there is a Man next to you. Moreover, this person is a Man. And there is a lot of good in it. And how much he tolerates from you. After all, a woman is much stronger in matters of relationships. The energy of relationships flows out of her like a fountain! And it is very easy to drown a man in stormy waves. And he, while sailing, must also make a ship from floating chips, right in the waves! It is in your best interest to keep the waves calm. Take care of each other! So much energy is spent on meaningless battles within families, but this energy could have been invested in creativity or raising children. The energy losses from each quarrel are colossal. Don't waste your energy. Learn to love. Instead of a quarrel, you could spend your energy on: - maintaining your and your husband’s health - for example, you could start running in the morning, doing exercises or going to the gym. One quarrel would be enough for a month of such useful activities - thinking and searching for gifts for loved ones. And even better for each other. And not to buy something that we think he would like. But what he really wants and what he will be happy about (usually these are different things) is a walk together or with the children. Strengthening relationships through walking is the most effective method. - viewing a family album, memories of what you were like so many years ago and how your relationship developed. - to go to the payment terminal in the metro and deposit at least 100 rubles into the account of a sick child in order to help his parents undergo surgery. He will grow up grateful, believing in good people and God, choose a good profession and help hundreds of other people. With one small action you could change the whole world for the better - but you wasted your energy on swearing. It's difficult at first. But a flower also sits underground for some time, in darkness and dampness. Then he needs to spend a lot of effort to break through the soil, to go beyond the darkness. Then you need to strive for the sun for a long, long time. And only then can he open up and show everyone his beauty. Also people. It takes a lot of strength to learn to Love. You need to give yourself time. And at some point, have the courage to step outside your comfort zone. And also allow ourselves to absorb the Love that God unselfishly gives us along with the sunshine. And when you are filled with this love, you just need to open your heart. Your beautiful Heart, like the most amazing Flower. Heart full of Love. Love men. They really need your Love. Even if they never admit it. Behind every great man there is always a woman who believed in him. And she truly loved.
The importance of proper communication between spouses
Interestingly, a woman’s need for communication exceeds a man’s by one and a half times. Against this background, omissions, quarrels, and resentments often arise. This need for communication is directly related to the criteria of extraversion-introversion. It is important to understand that communication is fundamental to achieving relationship satisfaction.
Relationship psychology emphasizes that the stronger the partners’ need to communicate, the more comfortable the microclimate between them. If the conversations gradually come to naught, very soon differences will appear in the couple, divergence of interests, opinions, and therefore disputes and disagreements. Therefore, it is important to communicate correctly and choose a compromise strategy so that the relationship is transparent and comfortable for both.
Do you and your spouse often raise your voice at each other?
Not really
Trust your husband
The flip side of trust is the manifestation of mistrust. When you express mistrust, you destroy the foundation of your marriage. Demonstrating trust is easy. Don't check your partner's phone for suspicious SMS or calls, or try to find anything unusual in your browser browsing history. Don't control your spouse when he leaves home to spend some time with his friends: play video games, golf or poker. You need to be happy that your husband has friends who will support him in difficult times, and not judge him for leaving home, leaving you alone or with a child.
For your chosen one, trust is important. If he sees that you doubt him, it can destroy the connection between you and drive you further apart. Trust your chosen one, and you can become an ideal wife.
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Respect your husband
Men thrive on respect. Perhaps this is not noticeable from the outside. But in fact, this is true. Representatives of the stronger sex fade if they see that their chosen ones do not believe in them.
Respect works wonders. It will improve your relationship with your husband, strengthen your marriage and fill it with new colors. You will become closer. Tell your spouse that you appreciate his work and his efforts around the house. Don't grumble, try to avoid sharp moments, don't act like his mother. Treating a man like a child is disrespectful. Finally, don't embarrass him publicly by telling stories that mock his dignity. Respect your husband whom you have chosen as your life partner.
Tyrant
He constantly finds fault with his wife; it is important for him to keep her will under control. It would seem that the best advice is to avoid such men. But firstly, the majority of tyrants show themselves in all their glory after they tie a woman. And secondly, this could be the love of your life, but in everything else the man is ideal, and it’s never too late to leave. How best to behave with a tyrant husband?
- Do not give reasons for jealousy; jealousy is a catalyst for aggression.
- Do not enter into discussions, the last word will still be his, but along the way it will become white-hot.
- Try not to depend on him financially, but don’t flaunt it. And if the earnings are higher, then under no circumstances mention it.
- To increase his self-esteem in every possible way; the roots of tyranny are precisely in low self-esteem.
- To love and care for him sincerely, you need to understand that this is a consequence of neurosis and the person himself suffers from it. Deep down, he also wants to live quietly and peacefully.
If you behave correctly with such a man, he will never cross the line and raise his hand. But do not confuse a tyrant and a sadist. If a person is a sadist, then he is sick. And he needs to be treated, or better yet, run away.
Practice of acceptance
Accept your spouse for who he is. Don't try to change an adult. You won't succeed anyway. You will only ruin your nervous system, but you will not get results. If you want to become an ideal wife for your husband, accept him for who he is, with all his shortcomings and advantages, bad habits and things that may irritate you. After all, don't forget that you have flaws too.
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Accepting your husband is the best way to show respect. Of course, exceptions to this rule include situations involving verbal or physical abuse, addiction, and criminal activity.
Lack of sex
Life after marriage no longer seems like a fairy tale. Why? Partners get used to each other and gain confidence that their significant other will not go anywhere now. This means you can calmly go about your business and pay less attention to your partner. The appearance of good relations remains. People still kiss when they meet, hug each other tenderly and say kind words. But there is less sex. A girl may say that she is tired doing household chores, and a man may prefer TV to his young wife. The logic of this behavior is simple. A person always wants to receive something that is inaccessible to him or something forbidden. When the possession of a beloved body had to be earned, one had to try. And now you don’t need to do anything, your loved one is always available. What is given to a person for free, he rarely appreciates.
Is it really that bad that people will eventually stop having sex completely? No. It's just that over time, quality becomes much more important than quantity. People approach sex more consciously, they take more breaks in order to enjoy the process.
Be grateful
Be grateful for your husband. Be grateful for your home. Be grateful for your job, children and close relatives. Women who want more reproach their partner for failure, thereby undermining not only their relationship, but also destroying a bright feeling - love. Show your husband gratitude and you will become a better wife in your husband's eyes.
take care of yourself
Stay healthy, eat right and exercise. Take the time to get a new haircut or beautiful makeup.
Being a great wife is not difficult. All you really need is to treat your husband with dignity. Pay attention to his needs and pay attention to what makes him happy. Communicate with him and develop an atmosphere of trust.
Often husbands and wives stop trying to be attractive after marriage, but this is a huge mistake. If you loved your chosen one so much that you agreed to marry him, then do not forget to show your best images every day, showing your husband your respect.
Infantile man
Therefore, you should not complain that your husband behaves like a child; perhaps, psychologically, he is a child. But it is in the nature of men to dominate, even if it is a man-son, this desire can be developed with special behavior. How to behave with your husband so that he stops being childish?
- Gradually transfer small family responsibilities to him (paying bills, organizing a grocery basket), he may like it.
- Talk to his mother so that she does not contribute to his immaturity.
- Make fewer decisions yourself, wait for the last word from your husband.
- Less interested in whether he has eaten or whether he is cold. This is an adult, he is capable of taking care of himself.
- Don’t criticize, appreciate the very fact of trying to do something.
