Every Orthodox person must go through the Sacrament of Baptism. This is the most important event in life. Having undergone the Sacrament of Baptism, the baby’s soul takes the first step towards communion with Christianity and visiting the temple of God. Parents choose an Orthodox name for their newborn, in honor of the Saint, who becomes his personal Guardian Angel. Choosing a name is an important event, since this Saint will lead the baby along the Orthodox path and protect his soul. Most often, the baby’s Orthodox name coincides with the civilian ones; Old Slavonic and foreign names will be exceptions. Most of the Old Slavonic names have already been translated into modern ones. It is important to choose the right godmother and father for the child. After all, these people will be responsible for the spiritual development of the baby throughout their lives, and will help their parents in difficult times. Therefore, before making a choice, parents hesitate, ask questions and are tormented by doubts, since godparents should be so close that they can go through the entire path of life next to the child.
Most often, people with whom they have been friends or work for a long time, or maybe studied together, are taken as godparents. But there are situations when such friends are already godfathers, and what should you do then? Is it possible, in this case, to baptize a child at his godfather’s or godfather’s place? On this matter, the opinions of priests differ: some categorically prohibit such baptism and do not allow it in their Temple, while others, on the contrary, allow it in order to strengthen the bonds between godparents and parents, for the benefit of the child. For a more accurate answer, you need to ask this question to the priest with whom you want to baptize your child. The servant of God will give an accurate and comprehensive answer, drown out doubts and guide you on the right path.
Basic Church Requirements
Baptism is the first and most important sacrament of Christians. Through baptism a person becomes a member of the church and receives admission to other sacraments. The Russian Orthodox Church does not set a minimum age for religious conversion. At the initial stage of Christianity, baptism took place in a different order from the modern one. They prepared for it in advance, for several months. During this time, converts underwent a test of faith (fulfilling the commandments), learned the basics of Christian teaching, and performed rituals.
The introduction of the sacrament of the godparents into the ritual appeared when Christians were persecuted and were forced to hide their religion. The godfather was a religious man who knew closely the person who wanted to join the Christian faith. He was a guarantee to the Christian community that the person was sincere in his religious intentions. He was entrusted with the preparation for the announcement and he was required to be present at the sacrament.
The announcement took place in the church: the clergyman named by name the people who were allowed to attend services before baptism, with the exception of the sacrament of Holy Communion.
Among Christians of this period (II-IV centuries) there was a belief that during baptism all past sins were forgiven. For this reason, people tried to be baptized as late as possible. The Church fought against this superstition. When Christianity became the leading religion, they began to try to introduce them to the sacrament from infancy.
Since the child was not able to fulfill the conditions of the ritual, his godfather/godmother began to perform this for him. In 397, the Council of Carthage approved the rule according to which Christian parents who did not agree to baptize their infants were anathematized (excommunicated from the church).
The rite of announcement began to quickly be replaced by the baptism of babies. The timing of the rites of passage for infants and minors has varied throughout the millennia of Christian history. The Gospel of Mark quotes Jesus as saying that he who believes and is baptized will be saved (that is, the convert must be aware of his actions at baptism).
Gregory the Theologian explains his attitude to the baptism of children: if there is a danger to health, then they are baptized from the first days of life; for healthy children - baptism at the age of 3, when the child will be able to repeat after the priest and understand the words of the prayer.
Currently, clergy recommend that parents baptize their children as early as possible, so as not to frighten the child with an unfamiliar environment and a stranger who takes him in his arms and performs incomprehensible manipulations.
The Russian Orthodox Church has retained the procedure of announcement before baptism. Newly converted adults and children over 7 years of age are required to take it. When performing baptism on infants and children under 7 years of age, both parents and recipients must undergo preparation.
The child's godparent must be an Orthodox Christian. Atheists and people of other faiths (Muslims, Buddhists, Protestants, Catholics) are not allowed to participate in the rite of Baptism. The successor to the relatives of the father and mother must not only be baptized in Orthodoxy, but also attend church services, adhere to rituals and traditions, and know the basic prayers.
An Orthodox father and mother cannot be godparents for their children at the same time. A married couple cannot be godparents to one child. Consent to spiritual kinship must be conscious, since it means participation in the upbringing of the godson.
For this reason, minors cannot be appointed as foster children. Before the sacrament of Baptism, the priest can clarify how old the future godparent is. A minor baptized in Orthodoxy can be a spiritual guardian if he understands his responsibility before God.
Is it possible for a godfather to baptize his godfather’s child?
Faced with such a situation, serious debate begins. Such cases are possible, although rare; such christenings are popularly called crossings. Church ministers did not agree on such situations. Nobody knows why. Contradictions arise here, since godfathers are not blood relatives, then where do the prohibitions come from? In order to act in accordance with religious rules, it is imperative to ask for advice from your spiritual father. There is an opinion among people that if children are rebaptized, then disagreements will begin between the couples and they will stop communicating. But this cannot be called a good reason, since beliefs have nothing to do with religion. On the part of the church, there is only a ban on the baptism of a child by a married couple. Following this prohibition, you can understand that a woman baptizes only her friend’s daughter, and a man only baptizes his friend’s son. According to the laws, the opposite option is quite possible. It turns out that the father of an already baptized baby, who is not related by blood to the child of his friends, may well baptize him. This answer is clear and unambiguous. The refusal to rebaptize children from this point of view is not confirmed by any facts, and rests only on rumors. There is no official version from the clergy as to why rebaptism is denied.
It is not wise to form your own point of view after reading information on the Internet, especially without having good reasons for this. It is no secret that modern youth rarely visit the Temple, and even less understand the intricacies of religion. Regular parishioners of the temple do not even pay attention to such rumors, since they often encounter various contradictions between the worldly and spiritual worlds in practice. You can even get information about whether the godfather should baptize the godfather’s baby from the mother (the priest’s wife) or from the grandmothers who sell icons and candles in the church. They can all give a comprehensive answer, and even recommend what literature is worth reading. But this should not be taken as a rule; it is best to get advice from a priest.
Features of baptism
The rite of baptism does not depend on the gender and age of the convert. The difference lies in the definition of the main receiver.
Boys
According to custom, there should be two godparents, like relatives. But the Orthodox Church allows you to have one godfather. For a boy, it must be a man. A pregnant woman is allowed to become the godmother of a boy. With two godparents, the baptismal prayer mentions the main caregiver (for a boy, the godfather).
Girls
For girls there is the same rule as for boys: if it is not possible to find a godfather, then only a woman (godmother) is present at Baptism. With two recipients, the baptismal prayer mentions the main trustee - the godmother. A pregnant woman can become a girl's godmother.
Orthodox marriage - understand the essence
The establishment of mandatory preparatory conversations before the Sacrament of Marriage is performed is another important provision of the document. Many people who get married either do not understand the meaning of a wedding or understand it very differently. (As in the case of baptism - “so that the child does not get sick.”) At interviews, a detailed explanation of the texts of the Wedding Rite is possible, so that those wishing to get married understand the full significance and depth of the upcoming sacrament.
When you conduct conversations before baptism, you often ask the question which of those present is married. It often turns out that out of thirty people, not a single one is married. When asked “why,” people say that they are afraid to get married or don’t get married because it will be difficult to get a divorce later.
Often weddings are perceived in a negative rather than a positive sense. Interviews will help believers understand what happens during the sacrament itself, and what an Orthodox marriage is in its essence.
Who can't be godfather
To understand why only an Orthodox Christian can be a recipient, we must remember the essence of the sacrament. During Baptism, the second (spiritual) birth of a person occurs. His soul gains access to the grace of God, protection from the influence of a sinful world.
A baptized child can be given communion, pray for his health, and in case of misfortune, he can be buried according to Christian custom, so that his soul will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Children are most often baptized from 8 to 40 days after birth in order to be able to pray for their health. During Baptism, the spiritual parent makes a promise for the godson to observe the norms established in the Holy Scriptures and in the Orthodox tradition.
With the completion of the sacrament, his duties include constant communication with the child. If for some reason (a quarrel with his parents, leaving for another area) he cannot see his godson regularly or at all, then he is obliged to constantly pray to the Lord for him, asking for health, strengthening in faith, and choosing the right path in life.
Knowing the conditions and consequences of baptism, persons are determined who cannot be invited to become the child's guardian. Parents should know that it is impossible to change godparents in the future.
The Orthodox Church does not allow this, because for this you need to go through the baptismal rite again. But the sacrament is possible only once in a lifetime. If the godparent leads an immoral lifestyle, then with the blessing of the priest you can find another spiritual mentor, but he will not be the godparent.
Representatives of other religions and atheists
You cannot become a recipient if your own views are different from Orthodox and Christian. Buddhists, Muslims, Jews do not believe in Jesus Christ and his teachings. The words spoken by such people at the sacrament have no weight; the grace of God will not descend on the child.
Catholics and Protestants are Christians, but differences in beliefs will not make it possible to introduce a child to Orthodoxy to the fullest. The Catholic and Protestant religions differ from the Orthodox in relation to saints and celebrations of major Christian events (Christmas, Easter and others).
The parents themselves
The tradition of godparents comes from the early Christian period. Godparents were supposed to be close family friends whom the children knew well. In the event of the death of the father and mother, the community entrusted the care of minors to the godfather and mother. Thus, Christianity protected children who became orphans.
In the event of the loss of parents, the adoptive parents were obliged to take care of not only the spiritual, but also the material support of the child. The foster child is not a substitute for father and mother in educational matters, he became a member of the family.
For this reason, the church imposed restrictions on church marriages:
- between godfather and goddaughter;
- godfather and mother of the child;
- godson and godmother;
- godfather and godmother of one child.
These situations should be taken into account when selecting spiritual caregivers. In 2021, the Council of Bishops allowed godfathers of one child to marry with the permission (blessing) of the bishop of the diocese.
Monastics
Monks and nuns cannot be trustees, despite the fact that they are superior to the laity in religion and piety. The Church forbids them to participate in the sacrament, since, having entered monasticism, they renounced earthly life, devoting it to serving the Lord.
Mentally ill
A mentally ill person is not aware of his actions. He is incompetent and must be under constant supervision. Choosing such a person as a successor would be a mistake. His presence at the ceremony and being recorded as a godfather actually has no consequences. The child will not be able to find spiritual support from him or learn about Orthodoxy.
Immoral
Loose and unethical people should not be trustees. A bad example is contagious. If parents do not want their child to succumb to the influence of such a godfather in the future, then they must carefully select a trustee. Rudeness, rudeness, lies, debauchery are sins. Immoral people are sinners.
Drunk
Addiction to alcohol deprives a person of reason and the ability to act adequately. Drunkards do not attend church and do not remember their responsibilities. There can be no excuse for the fact that an alcoholic does not drink every day and has periods of sobriety. The child has a long life ahead of him. You should not hope that in difficult times his godfather will be sober and provide support. In addition, the main duty of godparents is to pray for their ward. A drunk person does not remember to pray.
Minors
Children under 14 years of age, by law, are considered minors and incompetent. Parents/guardians are responsible for their care. Decisions made by a teenager without their consent are invalid. For this reason, a young child cannot be a godparent.
Tips and tricks for choosing
By definition, adoptees become family members, so you need to choose from people you know well and can trust to communicate with children. They must not only be sincere Orthodox believers. These should be friendly people who love children.
For this reason, they try to look for guardians among married people who have their own children and who have developed a parental instinct.
A child should be baptized by people who have a good relationship with his parents, with whom they have known for a long time. There are superstitions that may cause worthy people to refuse the honorable role of trustees. For example, unmarried girls should not become the godmother of a girl for the first time, otherwise her family life will not work out. They do not offer spiritual care to pregnant women.
Superstitions of ancestors
We were able to discover the following superstitions:
- The man baptizes the girl first, and the woman does the opposite. Otherwise, your personal life will not work out.
- The baptismal dress is allowed to be common to all children in the family. This way their bonds will become stronger, but along with the shirt, the problems of the previous one will be transferred to the new owner.
- Before going to church, the mother eats a clove of garlic or blows on the child. This will protect against the evil eye.
- You cannot take a pregnant woman as a godparent. Thinking about the baby in the womb will prevent you from concentrating on the procedure. And staying on your feet for a long time in the temple will not do any good.
- During the ceremony, the godfather should not be menstruating. Discuss this point in advance without hesitation.
- During the festive dinner, the godparents will try every dish to make the godson happy.
What to do if your parents are non-believers
Atheist parents may not object to their child being converted to the Orthodox faith.
Close religious relatives are able to convince them of this intention:
- grandparents of the baby;
- aunts, uncles;
- older children.
It is impossible to baptize a child without the consent of the parents, as this would be an infringement of parental rights. A child has the right to decide for himself about his religion when he turns 14 years old. The law obliges children to take their opinions into account when they reach 10 years of age.
If at the age of 14 a child decides to convert to Orthodoxy, close believing relatives should help him/her find a godfather/godmother so that he/she can prepare him/her for the sacrament.
Main responsibilities of godparents
Godparents are spiritual mentors, helping the godson's father and mother shape the child's personality and protect them from evil forces and misfortunes.
Prayer room
The godfather and mother, as true Christians, should attend church, pray to the icons of the holy saints, angels, the Mother of God and the Lord. In their prayer requests, they should not forget about the godson/goddaughter. The prayers of godparents have the same power as the prayers of the father and mother.
In prayers for a spiritual son or daughter they ask:
- about health;
- recovery from illness;
- good luck in business;
- strengthening faith;
- strong family relationships;
- the gift of a child.
The sincere prayer of the godfather will become a shield from the thoughts of evil people and natural elements.
Doctrinal
Godparents have the responsibility to convey Christian principles to the child. To do this, they must attend divine services with their godchildren on ordinary days and holidays. Children need to be explained the essence of what is happening in the temple, what the celebration is dedicated to, how they should behave during fasting, and their meaning. The godfather or godmother must teach the child basic prayers so that he can independently turn to the Lord or the Mother of God for help.
Moral
Spiritual mentoring means a trusting relationship with the mentee. The godson/goddaughter must respect the godparents and listen to their opinions. This places a special responsibility on adults. Family ties are one thing. Relationships between children and parents develop naturally, based on physical kinship, parental and child love.
Spiritual communication requires self-improvement of the adult personality. The Sacrament of Baptism does not automatically give rights to a godson. It places on godparents the responsibility to be able to influence a growing personality in Christian traditions, where morality has its own characteristics.
Is it possible to refuse godparents?
The person who agrees to become a godfather does not always realize the importance of the decision. A frivolous attitude towards new responsibilities may manifest itself in inappropriate behavior:
- drunkenness;
- fights;
- foul language;
- not visiting the temple.
In such cases, the godson can turn to the priest and, with his blessing, find more worthy spiritual mentors.
What about the registry office?
As you read this document, certain questions arise regarding its contents. For example, the text contains the following words:
“In modern practice, a wedding before the state registration of a marriage is possible as an exception with the blessing of the diocesan bishop - for example, in cases of upcoming participation in hostilities, a serious illness or a long separation of the future spouses.”
It is not entirely clear from the text why in these cases a wedding is possible without registration at the registry office.
Special cases
Choosing a godfather is a difficult question. It can be difficult to find a worthy and close acquaintance to offer him such a role. In this case, the Orthodox Church allows relatives to become godparents.
Grandmother with granddaughter
A believing grandmother can be the spiritual guardian of her granddaughter if her age does not exceed 70 years. The age limit imposed by the church is explained by the duties of the godmother. An old woman should have enough strength to influence a young girl morally, have the strength to take her to church, the memory to explain the basics of Orthodoxy and teach her prayers.
Grandfather with grandson
A grandfather should be a moral authority for his grandson. His age, like his grandmother’s, should not be older than 70 years.
Aunt for niece
An aunt is a close person for the family. Her choice for baptism of her niece depends on intra-family relationships and attitude towards faith.
Native sister
A sister, if she is 14 years old, can become a godmother to her younger sister or brother.
Main requirements for a sister:
- must be baptized;
- attend church;
- know the Creed;
- realize responsibility.
Children under 14 years of age are considered minors and cannot be held responsible for their actions.
Sister's brother
A sibling, like a sister, can be a godfather for a sister if he is 14 years old, baptized in Orthodoxy, knows prayers and understands what the responsibilities of a godfather are.
Catholic from Orthodox
When Baptism takes place outside of Russia, in a Catholic country, it can be difficult to find an Orthodox person suitable for the duties of a godparent. In this case, the Orthodox Church allows you to choose a person of the Catholic or Protestant faith as godparents.
Cousin
Cousin relationship is not an obstacle to fulfilling the duties of a successor if all other necessary conditions are met.
Uncle for nephew
An uncle, like an aunt, can be a guardian for a nephew. In this case, the following conditions must be met:
- baptized in the Orthodox faith;
- his wife will not be his nephew's godmother;
- in the future he does not plan to marry his godfather (if he is single).
A godfather relative must be present at the ceremony. His name will be entered on the baptismal certificate and in the church register of converts.
How to determine your name day if there are several saints with this name?
The name of the saint whose memory follows your birthday is determined according to the calendar, for example, according to the Orthodox calendar. As a rule, the name day is the day following the birthday of the saint whose name the Christian bears. For example, for Anna, born on November 20, Angel's Day will fall on December 3 - the day following her birthday, when St. Anna, and her saint will be St. mts. Anna of Persia.
You should remember this nuance: in 2000, at the Council of Bishops, the new martyrs and confessors of Russia were glorified: if you were baptized before 2000, then your saint is chosen from the saints glorified before 2000. For example, if your name is Catherine, and you were baptized before the glorification of the new martyrs, then your saint is St. Great Martyr Catherine, if you were baptized after the Council, then you can choose St. Catherine, whose memorial date is closer to your birthday.
If the name you were given is not in the calendar, then at baptism the name that is closest in sound is chosen. For example, Dina - Evdokia, Lilia - Leah, Angelica - Angelina, Zhanna - Joanna, Milana - Militsa. According to tradition, Alice receives the name Alexandra in baptism, in honor of St. passion-bearer Alexandra Feodorovna Romanova, who before accepting Orthodoxy bore the name Alice. Some names in the church tradition have a different sound, for example, Svetlana is Photinia (from the Greek photos - light), and Victoria is Nike, both names mean “victory” in Latin and Greek.
