The word of parents, as you know, is endowed with special power. Father's and mother's blessings can have a direct impact on the fate of children. That is why they turn to their parents with such a request before any important event. One of them is the wedding day. How to bless your son before the wedding? What words should I say?
Not a single modern wedding is complete without parental blessing, just like in ancient times. The meaning of the ritual is quite multifaceted. Parents agree with their child’s choice, approve of the union, wish love and happiness, and give wise parting words to the young family.
Every mother should know how to bless her son before the wedding.
So, the solemn wedding day is approaching. The mother’s blessing of her son before the wedding plays a special role, so it must be prepared in advance, every word carefully thought out. You will have to spend some time writing your commencement speech. As a rule, words of blessing of the son are said before the wedding after the newlyweds’ walk, before entering the banquet venue. At the same time, the mother meets the newlyweds with a loaf and salt, while the father holds icons.
However, this option is slightly simplified. According to ancient canons, a mother’s blessing is given to a son twice before a wedding. The first time - in his father's house, the second - together with his young wife (as described above).
The procedure for parental blessing of a son
The process includes two stages.
The first blessing is before the registry office (wedding), before leaving the parental home.
It is performed in the absence of strangers. The parents stand opposite their son. Father holds an icon. He first baptizes his kneeling son three times, after which he passes the icon to his mother. She also baptizes her son with it three times. Then the son-groom must cross himself and kiss the holy face.
Note: according to Orthodox canons, the sign of the cross is always done three times and from top to bottom, from right to left.
If parents do not observe religious rituals, the ritual with icons is replaced with an oral blessing. In this case, the parents give a short parting speech, wishing their son well and happiness.
The second blessing is after the registry office (wedding).
In this case, parents greet their son with bread and salt (loaf) along with his young wife. The bride and groom receive a blessing together as a couple - without prayers, but with parting speeches and congratulations on their marriage.
The newlyweds are invited to “break bread” - to taste the wedding loaf by biting or breaking off a piece of it. According to tradition, the bride and groom treat each other with their pieces, having first dipped them in salt. It is believed that in this way they make a promise not to “salt” each other anymore, that is, not to upset each other.
Those present at this ceremony usually keep a vigilant eye on whose piece was larger and who ate it faster. According to signs, he will rule in the house and become the head of the family.
In the old days, after breaking the wedding bread, the newlyweds divided the loaf among the guests. Parents were treated first, then close relatives. The bottom of the loaf with coins baked in it was given to the musicians. And all that was left was for the “Cossacks” - children and teenagers who did not participate in the wedding feast, being outside the threshold of the house.
Note: if the groom does not have one of the parents, godparents can play their role. If the newlyweds do not live with the groom’s parents in their home, then the blessing ceremony is held in front of the restaurant where the wedding banquet is organized.
What icons will you need?
Let's say the parting words have been prepared. But that's not all. What else would a son’s blessing require before a wedding? Prayer is an obligatory part of the ritual. It is read according to tradition in front of the icons of the Mother of God (usually of Kazan) and the Savior. At the same time, the son needs to kneel.
The Kazan Icon of the Mother of God is one of the most revered images of the Mother of God. Since ancient times, she has been considered the intercessor and patroness of all people. A huge number of amazing salvations and miracles are attributed to her. This icon must be used to bless the newlyweds before the wedding. They pray to the Mother of God for protection of the house from evil forces, for fidelity, for the birth of children.
The icon of the Savior Almighty, or the Savior, is the most common image of Christ. In one hand on it, Jesus holds the Gospel, indicating the right path in life, and with the other hand he blesses the one who looks at the image. They ask the icon for family well-being and happiness. She is the first to be brought into the newlyweds' house.
In a word, icons are a mandatory attribute that accompanies the blessing of a son before the wedding. The prayer is read before one of them or before both. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a wedding couple or a wedding, the main thing is not to forget about it. After the wedding, the newlyweds hang these icons in the honorary “red” corner of their home. This will serve as a reminder of the solemn date for many years.
Wedding blessing prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, prayers for the sake of Thy Most Pure Mother, hear me, Thy sinful and unworthy servant.
Lord, in the mercy of Your power my children (names), have mercy and save them for Your name’s sake.
Lord, forgive them all the sins, voluntary and involuntary, that they committed before You.
Lord, guide them on the true path of Your commandments and enlighten them and enlighten them with Your light of Christ, for the salvation of the soul and the healing of the body.
Lord, bless them in the house, around the house, at school, in the field, at work and on the road, and in every place of Your possession.
Lord, protect them under the shelter of Your Saints from a flying bullet, arrow, knife, sword, poison, fire, flood, from a deadly plague (atomic rays) and from vain death.
Lord, protect them from visible and invisible enemies, from all troubles, evils and misfortunes. Lord, heal them from all diseases, cleanse them from all filth (wine, tobacco, drugs) and ease their mental suffering and sorrow.
Lord, grant them the grace of Your Holy Spirit for many years of life, health and chastity.
Lord, increase and strengthen their mental abilities and physical strength.
Lord, give them Your blessing for a godly family life and godly childbearing.
Lord, grant me, Thy unworthy and sinful servant, a parental blessing on my child at this time of morning, day, evening and night for the sake of Thy name, for Thy Kingdom is eternal, omnipotent and omnipotent. Amen.
A few more nuances
We should also not forget about some serious points. It is necessary to give parting words to your son before the wedding not just with icons in your hands. They must be held with towels, just like a loaf.
After the words of blessing have been spoken, the newlyweds must be crossed with icons and given a kiss. The sign of the cross is performed from top to bottom and from left to right - this is how it is according to church canons. You need to mentally “replay this action in your head” in advance so as not to get confused at the most crucial moment.
When should a blessing ceremony be performed for a son?
The ideal option is the blessing of a son on the day of engagement of young people, when they become the bride and groom. This day is symbolic and of great importance for parents, because today their already adult child made, perhaps, the most important decision in his life - to link his destiny with the woman he loves.
However, modern realities are such that parents can find out about their son’s imminent wedding after submitting an application to the registry office. In this case, a full-fledged blessing ceremony is possible, for example, before lovers decide to take another important step in their lives - a wedding.
If the parents do not want to wait until the wedding day, you can bless the child for marriage before the marriage - after the ransom or even the day before the wedding, when the groom is overwhelmed with excitement and the support of his parents is especially important for him.
The ritual needs to be revived!
If the parents of the couple themselves received the blessing, it is a little easier for them. You won't have to think about the words for long. How to bless your son before the wedding? Yes, just pass on the parting words heard before your wedding, so to speak, “by inheritance”!
If the parents of the newlyweds did not receive blessings, this is not a problem. You just need to learn a prayer and come up with words of wishes for fidelity, tenderness, love, prosperity, prosperity, etc. In general, everything you need for a happy married life. By blessing their children sincerely and from the heart, parents will give them a feeling of support for many, many years.
Meet each other halfway for love
It happens that the parents did not like the bride.
Or they think it’s too early for him to start a family; or there is another girl in mind whom you would like to see as your daughter-in-law. They reject their son's choice and do not give approval for the marriage. There can be no talk of any blessing. Should I treat my son’s decision this way?
Everyone will suffer from such an attitude. It is difficult to find a young man who will abandon his beloved for the sake of obedience to his parents. The son will do his own thing, and the conflict with his parents will turn into painful resentment against each other.
Whoever is wiser will be the first to try to establish peace in the family. Having given up your ambitions, you need to meet each other halfway. It is good if the son listens to the opinion of his parents and does not rush into the wedding. After all, he is still young and does not see many of the nuances of marriage. Often parents foresee what the marriage will be like by withholding a blessing.
Postponing the wedding is not a disaster: parents will be able to get to know their future daughter-in-law better, see her positive qualities, change their attitude towards her and give their blessing for the marriage.
Three most important points!
Thus, it is necessary to think very carefully about how to bless your son before the wedding. Correctly spoken words - sincere, sincere - will give the newlyweds three very important qualities.
Firstly, parental blessing brings spouses confidence that they will always live in abundance. Secondly, it gives confidence that the newlyweds will protect each other the way their parents protected each other for many years. Thirdly, the spouses will feel unconditional support in all their endeavors and confidence in all their capabilities. Do not forget that female energy is the best assistant in building a future family.
What parents say when blessing their son: examples of speeches
At the first blessing, it would be appropriate to read a kind of prayer with the icon.
The text of the “prayer” of the groom’s mother: “Just as the church is indestructible and strong, faith is strong and sweet mead, so ... (son’s name) and ... (bride’s name) were strong and inseparable. We haven’t been without each other, we haven’t lived apart for a minute or a day since that day, when I read the slander. Amen. Amen. Amen".
You can bless in your own words, giving parental advice to your son who is starting his own family.
Examples of parental blessing of a son before the registry office (wedding):
- Dear son, we bless you and give you guidance for your future family life. May she be happy, in love and mutual harmony. May troubles and misfortunes pass you by. And your union will be blessed with the birth of strong and healthy children.
- Dear son! We bless you for a strong and happy marriage. Live for good. Honor and take care of your wife. Be with her in joy and peace, harmony and love. May God give you support and protection on your family journey!
- Dear son! You are on the verge of important life changes. Let them be happy. May your marriage be strong and your family life long and joyful. Let children's laughter sound in your home, and let prosperity and peace reign.
Examples of parental blessing after the registry office (wedding):
- Dear... (names of the bride and groom)! Please accept our blessing for your marital union! May the Lord protect your family from evil and misfortune. Be faithful to each other, take care and love each other. You... (name of the groom) protect and protect... (name of the bride) from the difficulties of life and unnecessary tears. And you... (name of the bride) be... (name of the groom) support in all matters. And then peace and harmony will settle in your home forever.
- Dear children! At the beginning of your family journey, we bless you with this wedding loaf - a symbol of prosperity, health and wealth. May your life together be as sweet and enjoyable as this rich and delicious bread. Let your children be strong and rosy, like the crust on this loaf. And may your family have as much warmth and love as there is in this wedding bread. Advice and love to you!
Parting words to the bride before the wedding ceremony
Traditionally, this happens before the wedding itself in the parental home. Before going to the Wedding Palace, the father and mother of the bride address their two children - their daughter and her groom - with parting words and wishes.
What to tell your daughter
Before the groom arrives, mom and dad can bless their daughter separately.
General “words of encouragement”
So you have grown up, daughter, and are about to fly away from the family nest. May your choice be correct, and may your family be friendly and strong. Respect your future husband, because now he is your support and protector, love him with all your heart. Daughter, we wish you a happy life in goodness and prosperity, healthy children who will delight both you and your husband, and your dad and me.
Words from the mother of the bride
Daughter, I am happy that you have found your path in life. She will now be associated with (name of the groom). While raising you, I tried to give you as much as possible - knowledge, feelings, teach you everything that a real woman should be able to do. Therefore, I am sure that this guy is a worthy person. Be happy in this marriage. May bright love always accompany you two, and may there never be discord in your family. Be, daughter, the happiest and most beloved woman in the whole world!
Wishes from father to daughter
Daughter! You are my only child and you know how much your mother and I love you. We are very worried about you now, and we will always be worried. It’s hard for me to give you to someone else’s house, but I believe in you and your choice. Therefore, I will try to accept your future husband as my own son. Be a faithful and kind wife to him. May there always be peace and mutual understanding in your new family. And the worries of creating this kind atmosphere of warmth and tranquility fall on your fragile shoulders. Be strong and patient, know that love can overcome all life's adversities. May your new family be happy!
Blessing of the bride and groom
- Our dear children! We bless you for creating your family. May she be prosperous and happy. Take care of the tenderness that you have. Live for each other in the name of goodness and your love. Be happy together!
- Dear (names of the young people), our dear children! We want to say our final words of encouragement before you become husband and wife. We wish you to create a strong family, for the joy of everyone - happiness for you and joy for the people! Let harmony and love always accompany you on the path of life, and in times of adversity, become support and support for each other. Be always happy!
- Children! (Names of newlyweds)! Today a new path begins for you - a common one. May it lead you to a world full of love and tenderness, family happiness and all-consuming goodness! Let the light of loving eyes help you overcome all difficulties, and let the warmth of hearts beating together and merging into one warm you in any bad weather. Love each other, appreciate the feelings you have now. Then the new family will be so happy that it’s just a sight for sore eyes. Blessings!
- Advice and love to you, children! Today you are starting your family. You, daughter, on this day also give us a son. His happiness is now as important to us as yours, because it will be common to both of you. Divide your love between two, thereby increasing it and elevating it. Let each of you appreciate the other, help in everything, understand and accept him. We wish to preserve the blessed fire that lit your hearts. It will help on the difficult path of family life, making it brighter and easier. Happiness and prosperity, joy and peace to your family!
We say parting words
The first, according to tradition, is the mother of the groom who addresses the young couple with parting words. Her words should show approval of this marriage, readiness to accept a young wife into her home. She promises to provide her with help and support, and asks her to guard the family hearth with dignity. Addressing her son, she asks him to love and respect his wife.
If the father of the groom joins her with his word, he should turn more to his son. He wishes him to become a real husband, man, breadwinner and father.
What should be the wedding blessing from the bride's parents? The father usually speaks first. Addressing his son-in-law, he says that he is giving him his dear treasure - his beloved daughter. She asks to always take care of her, respect and love her. And the last blessing of the parents at the wedding is heard by the newlyweds from the lips of the bride’s mother. These are the most heartfelt, most touching words addressed to my daughter and her husband. She wishes them to overcome adversity together, appreciate moments of joy, always be together and raise happy children.
Of course, the parents’ words of blessing at a wedding can be anything, this is just an example. But they must bring love, a call for mutual understanding and independence. There is no need to hope that you will say your parting words impromptu. In a moment of excitement, all the right words can get mixed up in your head. But you shouldn’t learn speech by heart. If you forget one word, you will not be able to continue. And besides, your words will lose their charm and sincerity. It’s better to just outline the points, a plan.
When does blessing occur and what are its prerequisites?
The newlyweds usually receive their first blessing at the moment when their parents gather to discuss the details of the wedding. This usually takes place at the bride's house.
The second time parents bless their child at home, before leaving for the registry office or church. But the most solemn moment of blessing usually comes at the celebration itself. Sometimes this happens before the wedding ceremony. But in practice, most often the parents of the bride and groom wait with icons for the already registered newlyweds on the threshold of the festive establishment where this important event will be celebrated.
First of all, it is worth saying that there is no single mandatory script for this ritual. But there is one indispensable condition. If parents bless the newlyweds with Orthodox icons, then both the bride and groom, and the one holding the icons, must be baptized. Both parents and godparents can bless.
However, there is one more important point that must be observed. This is the consent and moral readiness of all participants to conduct such a ritual.
The meaning of tradition
All Orthodox families have a tradition of their parents blessing their children for a long and happy family life. This ritual has come to us since time immemorial and is another way to show parental love and protect a new family from adversity. Carrying out this ceremony is a very important and exciting event for all family members.
There is an opinion that a mother’s parting words to her daughter before the wedding have special power and will protect the newlyweds from damage and the evil eye, and the ancestors will protect the newlyweds. Seeing off to a new family suggests that the girl will become a daughter-in-law, so marriage will be a test of her moral qualities. It is also of fundamental importance which icon the groom’s parents bless the young couple with.
Of course, these days young people do not believe so strongly in the existence of otherworldly forces, but nevertheless, they strictly perform the ritual of parental blessing.
Parting words from the bride's father and mother at the celebration itself
If all the previous speeches of the parents made before the wedding were relatively brief, then after the marriage the parents can allow a few more words and wishes.
- Dear daughter, dear son! We lived with (name of the bride's mother), my wife, for many happy years. There was harmony and harmony in our family. We raised a wonderful daughter who always tried to help us and pleased us with our successes. And now you, daughter, have become an adult and found a man who has become your husband. You will have a new family, a separate one. But know that your mom and I will always support you if you need help. At the same time, I am sure that (name of the groom), your husband, will be able to cope with any problems. He is a strong and worthy person. We are happy that now we also have a wonderful son. Children, be happy with each other, give love and joy, and give your mother and me grandchildren. May you live happily ever after!
- Dear (names of the newlyweds), children! Today you begin building a beautiful structure - your family. My wife and I, having lived in harmony (the time that the bride's parents have been married) for years, know that it is not always easy. Therefore, it is a little sad that you, daughter, no longer fully belong to our family, that you need to go your own way. Whatever it is, I am sure that your husband will be able to support and understand you in everything. He's a good guy, we're glad we can call him our son. Build your life like a beautiful, bright and warm home, in which there is a place of love, joy and children, which is full of peace and tranquility. Having invested your soul in building your family, you will definitely be rewarded with happiness and prosperity. Joy and all the best to you!
