Archimandrite Thaddeus Vitovnitsky, a native of Serbia, was born on October 19, 1914, died on April 14, 2003. From a very young age, his life was a real test of faith in the Lord, filled with constant bodily infirmities, illnesses and sorrows. But from childhood, when he lost his mother, to his very rest in peace, being forced to live in the family of his spiritual students, Thaddeus was always a kind, calm, gentle person.
After his death, he left spiritual instructions that exude warmth, kindness and hope for the healing of any, even the most callous soul. There is so much holiness, philanthropy and spirituality in them.
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In his spiritual instructions, Elder Thaddeus spoke about raising children.
Obedience training
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Thaddeus instructed that a child’s character is formed before the age of 5, therefore, over these years, parents need to accustom their child to such obedience, as a result of which they should have one answer to any parental word - “Amen.”
That is, obedience must be absolute and unquestioning. But he notes with bitterness that in reality everything happens in families completely differently. Parents themselves set a bad example, treat their own parents without respect and resist their will. Moreover, they involve the grandchildren in this, so that they tell their grandparents that mom and dad won’t do this and that. So the education of obedience in children ends before it even begins.
Notes
- ↑ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
[www.zyorna.ru/authors/auth_3737/ Thaddeus (Strbulovich), hieromonk] //
Orthodox online store “Grains”
. - ↑ 1 2 3 4 5 6 Kristina Petrochenkova
[ruskline.ru/analitika/2010/04/14/serbskij_starec Serbian Elder] // Russian People's Line: information and analytical service. - M., 2010. - Issue. 14th of April. - There is no limit to spiritual growth. Illnesses are God’s call to repentance // [www.vstavaj-dusha.com/Fadey.pdf Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnitsky. "Peace and joy in the Holy Spirit"]. - Serbia.
- Paunovic, Darinka
[www.srpska.ru/article.php?nid=16324 Holy Blessed Xenia is the patroness of the Serbian Tuman monastery]. srpska.ru (February 6, 2011). Retrieved April 29, 2013. [www.webcitation.org/6GJBXuT4t Archived from the original on May 2, 2013].
Don't get angry at children for their activity
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Celestial spirits affect children in different ways. A child cannot be still and calm all the time. In his development, he must continuously move, strive somewhere, at the same time, sometimes forgetting about parental instructions.
But he does something wrong not out of malice, but out of misunderstanding. And when parents get angry, fall into a rage, scold him, attack him with reproaches, and even beatings, the child does not understand what his fault is.
In such cases, parents need to first calm down themselves, and then peacefully, with love, explain to the child what his mistake is. If you do this constantly, day after day, directing thoughts from your heart to the child’s heart, then he will understand. If you start parenting in anger, on emotions, then mental hostility arises and then all the instructions of the parents pass by the mind of their child.
Spiritual teachings
Strong faith in a person invariably evokes and seeks prayer.
Many years of strong prayer certainly gives birth to love.
There is no other more noble goal in human life than to cleanse your heart so that it sings with joy. And heartfelt prayer always leads to heartfelt joy. Nothing is difficult for a joyful person because he is full of love. Gentle, simple-minded people, unencumbered by everyday worries, can quickly accept the divine fire of unceasing prayer.
And we want to know what this is, what that is, we are overloaded with worldly concerns and interests. It is necessary to free yourself from all this and renew yourself. But we cannot achieve this on our own; we need the Holy Spirit to descend into our hearts. While we are innocently united with the Lord, the wisdom of this world does not enter into us, because we receive true wisdom and true knowledge from God.
To the extent that our soul has humbled itself, the mysteries of heaven are revealed to it. The secrets of everything that surrounds us are revealed to the humble and meek. He thinks much deeper than those who have been studying the wisdom of this world for years. Because God contains the secrets of our world, and as long as we think that we have achieved something, know something, true, divine wisdom cannot be revealed to us and our discoveries in medicine and physics are achieved with great difficulty and are superficial.
In prayer, first of all, attention is necessary. Without attention, prayer is worthless, but if we completely abandon it, it becomes even worse, even harder. Work matters a lot, but we constantly pay attention to something else. The holy fathers prayed that the Lord would deliver them from forgetting prayer.
Attention must precede prayer; it is like a guard. If we pray without attention, there is neither truth nor spirit in prayer. When there is attention, we know what we are asking for, what we are praying for, all attention should be collected in the words that we pronounce. When we turn to a person with a request and know that he can do it for us, we turn to him with our whole being. We ask him: do this for me, I know that you are able to do this for me. We are completely confident and ask him. And we often pray without attention, for the sake of order, out of habit, and we think that we prayed, but in fact we were not at prayer, we were thinking about something else.
The Lord must be present in every matter, because the enemy constantly comes with questions: where were you, what did you do, what did you hear, starting from childhood, and then builds his own combinations of thoughts, and we think that it’s all ours. Fallen spirits have the entire register of our lives: what we did, how we treated whom, therefore we need very great tension in order to get closer to the Lord and constantly live with Him. This is a prayer of labor, but there is also a prayer of grace. She comes as a gift from the Lord. Seeing that we, having abandoned all worldly pleasures, strive with our whole being to unite with Him, He gradually frees us from the worries of this world, from attachment to earthly things and leads the soul to simplicity and humility. He teaches us not to accept insults with our hearts, and to humble ourselves no matter what happens. Thus, gradually purifying itself, the soul receives divine fire in order to continually pray in the Holy Spirit.
You need to pray, as Father John of Kronstadt prayed, who carefully read the prayers and felt how his heart warmed with individual words, and peace and joy spilled into his soul.
The words of prayer must be said with faith that the Lord hears and sees us. And if during prayer, something rises in your heart, accept it and hold it, dwell on it and stand in it. When we feel a favorable disposition, we can move from silence to the Jesus Prayer. At first it sounded like this: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God and Word of God, for the sake of the Mother of God, have mercy on me. If we can, we say the Jesus Prayer with feeling, and if we can’t, let’s try to fall with our hearts to God, as we know and can, and rejoice in silence before the Lord.
If we do not have an experienced confessor who could guide us, it is dangerous to force ourselves into inner prayer. I was still a very young novice when I began to pray myself. Father Ambrose told me: “Whatever you do, repeat to yourself: Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me.” I was still a boy, and I listened to him with all my heart. Every day I confessed to my father confessor what was happening inside, in my soul, and he advised me what to do. After some time, I felt prayer enter my heart along with the air I breathe. Over time, prayer itself began to happen in the heart.
But after my confessor died, I spent many years in great mental torment. I came to some confessors and asked for advice. But it didn't help. This continued until I read “The Way of Salvation” by Feofan Vyshensky and the Lord helped. When there is no one among the people who would comfort us, then the Lord comes and through the book brings joy to the soul.
You need to exercise. And prayer is also an exercise. Everyone should practice the Jesus Prayer. It reads: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. And if you practice every day, constantly, then it will begin on its own, without your will, without your desire, when it turns into a skill, it becomes an incredible power - divine. You feel peace and joy, unspeakable joy. You yourself are surprised what it is, everything is sweet to you, everything is good for you, you want to touch everything, and no matter what you look at, everything is sacred to you. This is divine grace, which is given to a person freely, regardless of our will and desires, and goes on its own.
You need to pray as much as possible and in every place. But it is clear that a Christian cannot be like a Pharisee, who even changes his face in order to be noticed. The Holy Fathers say that prayer requires an absolutely carefree life. We pray absent-mindedly. We have not surrendered ourselves to the will of God, we all think that we must keep everything in our heads and that the Lord has many different concerns in the whole world and in the entire universe.
We ask: “Does He think about us or not?” This means that we have little faith, no hope. And the Lord provides for everything. This means that any case, any even the most insignificant trifle - everything that happens to us and near us, everywhere, indicates the providence of God and His permission. Nothing in the world happens without providence and permission. Everything that is beautiful and sublime is provided by the Lord. He alone knows why everything that seems disorderly to us was allowed to pass, and for how long. We must feel His presence everywhere. You will see, if we live always and everywhere in the presence of the Lord, all our work will be from the heart. We don’t work for people, we work for God. All work is divine, from God. Then we won't be busy. And while we are busy, we are not able to achieve the Kingdom of Heaven. Why can't they? Because we are subject to Satan here. When you pray, be careful about the words you say. Your attention must be there because the mind can imagine anything. A person, when he is in prayer, he does not think, because he does not imagine anything. The Holy Fathers say that when a person prays, he should have one thought: that there is no one in this world, only God and him, and he turns to God. Nobody here. There is no one in the entire universe, just the two of them, you know? This is also a performance. Just don’t turn around at yourself; as soon as you turn around, you immediately think about your problems. We are the ones who hinder ourselves the most. It is not others who interfere with us, we interfere with ourselves.
Our greatest obstacle is ourselves. We think: “Evil is out there somewhere, it’s spinning around on its own.” But if there were no evil in us, it would not cling to us. The evil is within us. It is not to blame, we ourselves are to blame for disturbing the peace. Let them accuse us, let them slander us, let them have free will, let them do their job, and we have our own job - to maintain peace.
Pray without ceasing, the apostle instructs. Inner prayer is the work of a person himself, because through prayer a person draws his heart closer to the Lord. And the fallen spirits are looking to tie him to some earthly object. We must not forget that everything we can do for ourselves in order to be saved and enter the Kingdom of God, we can only do here on earth. As soon as we move from “this side”, we will not be able to help ourselves. Then only the prayers of the saints will help us. Therefore, we need to constantly remember our departed and pray for them. When God hears our sincere prayers for the departed, they help them.
A small speck interferes with vision, just as a small worry interferes with prayer. Prayer requires an absolutely carefree life. When a person learns to do everything he does with all his heart, to do it with desire, then he becomes prayerful, and his work succeeds.
The Holy Fathers say that the most difficult thing is to pray, but when jealousy comes and self-pity is overcome, then your heart will love prayer and then you will always have little time for prayer.
Prayer is the breath of the soul. Therefore, we constantly need to be in prayer. Prayer draws strength from the source of life. The Lord is both father and mother, who protects and feeds. Let us learn to continually be with them.
