The mystery of love. confession: who is a confessor and how to look for him?

See section ABOUT THE SPIRITUAL FATHER

• Spiritual father in the Ancient Eastern Church prof. S.I. Smirnov
• Clergy Hegumen Boris (Dolzhenko)
• Prayers for a spiritual father

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Confessor (in the Orthodox Church) - 1) a priest as a shepherd, performer of the sacrament of repentance; 2) spiritual mentor; 3) a special official in the monastery, whose duties include spiritual guidance of the brothers (sisters) on the path to salvation (the main responsibility of such a confessor is pastoral care for the inhabitants of the monastery and their spiritual state; he helps to ensure that all inhabitants of the monastery undergo confession without fail and received the Holy Mysteries of Christ; the private conversations of the confessor are also very useful for the monks, which will help them better understand the meaning of the monastic path).

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Confessor and student

Priesthood brings joy to the student.
Coming to Christ is joyful work. A person, freed from the oppression of sins, fears and false thoughts, enters into joy while still on earth.

One day Abba Dorotheos asked his elder Barsanuphius the Great why Christ says “you will be sorrowful in the world,” but Dorotheos does not know any sorrows? And Barsanuphius answered him that being a disciple of a righteous mentor is the only state of the soul that does not involve sorrow, because a person then constantly lives according to the will of God.

At the same time, we know that in the monastery some brothers offended Dorotheus. That is, he had external sorrows, but thanks to his mentors, he knew how to relate to sorrows correctly, and the sorrows did not hurt him. This always happens with novices.

A confessor does not replace a person’s personal work on himself.

Elder John Krestyankin compared the confessor to a road sign that shows where to go, but the disciple walks with his own feet.

Even when a confessor helps to cleanse and drive away passions, a person feels the joy of liberation.

The author of these lines once could not make an important decision regarding the struggle with himself, did not dare to follow the advice of his confessor on this matter, and felt that true life was leaving his heart. When he obeyed the teacher against his will, he felt the relief of doing the right thing.

And after a while everything unexpectedly ended well.

Following the will of Christ, which is revealed by a mentor, may seem burdensome, but it brings peace into the soul and the relief of a righteous act.

The confessor does not determine life, but helps to feel the calling and correspond to it.

The confessor does not bind the will of a person. Elder Tikhon Agrikov says that the Lord arranges our lives according to the secret desire of our heart. And the confessor helps with this. He does not make a frog a heron, or a heron a frog, but he helps both to become what they are.

We are not like other saints in holiness. The confessor helps everyone find exactly their holiness.

The famous musician Arvo Pärt, having converted to Orthodoxy, went to the first temple he came across and asked what he should do now. The priest said: “Give up music and become a church watchman.” But the composer felt the wrongness of such advice and went to Elder Sophrony Sakharov. He listened to everything and said: “Write music – and the whole world will recognize you.” And so it happened.

Elders Paisios of Athos and Dionysios Kalambokas, when people asked them how to organize their future lives, often asked those who came what they themselves wanted.

Almost everyone who goes to the elder for the first time is afraid that he will forbid him what is most dear to him and force him to do something he doesn’t like. But this never happens. The mentor reveals in us our image of God and leads us to Christ along our path.

Everyone chooses their own confessor.

The ancient monks considered such a choice to be the inalienable right of the student, just as the bridegroom knows many good girls, but marries only one. There are many good spiritual fathers, but a person chooses him due to some kind of closeness of the heart.

At the same time, it is important to remember that there are many mentors who lacked the talents of the elders, but they remained true spiritual fathers, capable of leading a person to God. A person must grow up to the need to have a mentor himself, and in order to listen to a mentor, one must see that he is doing the will of God

A person must grow up to the need to have a mentor himself, and in order to listen to a mentor, one must see that he is doing the will of God.

About games in spiritual life

— Isn’t there such a danger here: a person, having become accustomed to asking his confessor about everything, will lose the ability to make decisions independently and, most importantly, take responsibility for them? Once the confessor has given his blessing, he is responsible for everything...

— In my practice, I have not met people who would like to entrust their entire life and care for themselves to their spiritual father. There are some deviations, distortions, and irregularities in the relationship with the spiritual father. For example, when spiritual children ask about some little things. Let’s say: “Bless me to go to the store today, I have nothing in the refrigerator.” But what surprises me more is that sometimes people ask for blessings, say, for a trip somewhere, already having a ticket, having a voucher: “Will you bless me to go there during Lent?” In such cases I say: “Such a request is profanation. I can only pray for you on your trip, since you have decided this issue yourself.”

I think the danger is not in the inability to make decisions, but in the fact that we are quite proud, vain and accustomed to solving problems on our own. And therefore it is good when people bow their heads to the blessing of their spiritual father.

And there are, of course, difficult questions that a person cannot answer on his own. And the priest, by the grace of God given to him from above, is, in any case, able to give very reasonable advice.

— It turns out that a person is not completely free as a spiritual child, he has certain responsibilities towards his spiritual father?

- Like children in relation to their parents. But these responsibilities are not onerous. Now the situation is such that many young Christians, who have graduated from perhaps not just one university, but two or three, are very self-confident: they often consider themselves competent not only in those areas in which they received professional knowledge, but also in spiritual life , where supposedly you can figure it out with half a turn. No, that's not true. About such people, Father John (Krestyankin) said: “The current children of the Church are completely special... they come to spiritual life, burdened by many years of sinful life, perverted concepts of good and evil. And the earthly truth they have assimilated rises up against the concept of Heavenly Truth that comes to life in the soul <...> The cross of salvation <...> is rejected as an unbearable burden. And, outwardly worshiping the great Cross of Christ and His Passion, <...> a person will deftly and ingeniously avoid his personal saving cross. And then how often the most terrible substitution of spiritual life begins - a game of spiritual life.”

—Where is the border between eldership and clergy?

“What distinguishes the elders from us, ordinary confessors, is not at all their insight. Foresight, of course, accompanies old age. But eldership is more than insight! Indeed, among people who serve not God, but the dark forces, there are clairvoyants who can also predict a person’s fate.

The main thing about the elders is something else: they are bearers of Divine love. Not human, which is biased and often deceitful, but Divine. And when you feel this love, you understand that it is true and no other love can replace it. Since in my lifetime I have met 11 elders, it seems to me, although I boldly say now, that I have some kind of “indicator”: whether this or that person is a genuine elder or not. And I can say that the elder is recognized by this love - all-covering, all-forgiving, non-irritable. The same one whose properties are described in the First Epistle to the Corinthians of the Apostle Paul: Love is patient, kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices with one another. truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…

The Taming of Monasticism

One can endlessly criticize the process of clericalization of monasticism, but, apparently, at that time there was no other way. Selfless ascetics and miracle workers, the monks enjoyed great authority, and very soon these five-thousand-strong laurels and men in children's caps were involved in party disputes and theological discussions, which even in our time are not distinguished by culture, and in the early Middle Ages did not do without bloodshed at all.

Monasticism had to be “tamed,” and the easiest way to “domesticate” it was to include it in a hierarchy that was understandable and consecrated by the Church. So yesterday's hippies turned into respectable abbots and archimandrites, and monastic culture and piety became not only a measure of piety, but also the only true path to salvation, while all others were only tolerant.

Of course, I am greatly simplifying, but these processes are so simple and understandable that they lie on the surface. Why did monastic piety and the rules of worship eventually supplant the parish rules? Not only because of the attractiveness of monasticism, but also because throughout the Middle Ages, monasteries were the only islands of not only education, but also elementary literacy. It is very difficult to compete with a written text and a harmonious charter.

A monastery is a school by definition: monasticism cannot exist without sustainable mechanisms for consolidating, preserving and transmitting traditions; schooling is built into the very nature of monasticism, which is why monasticism has been so strong for thousands of years. True, this is its vulnerability: if you want to kill monasticism, destroy its schooling and just wait one generation. And vice versa: if you want to revive monasticism, bet on strengthening school continuity and wait patiently, because this mechanism will work in full force only after three generations.

Instead of schooling, today the logic of magic works: tonsured into monasticism - here you are a monk!

There is no need to raise him, educate him, spend years, and do not listen to those who say that every monk is a piece of goods! In the nineties, we tonsured novices who had lived in the monastery for no more than a month, but it was enough to take them through tonsure, ordination, and send them to a parish or make them confessors of a nunnery, so that yesterday’s schoolboy or student would suddenly become an experienced elder!

However, even in ancient times, a saying appeared: cucullus non facit monachum - “a cucullus does not make a monk.” A monk must be cultivated for a long time, patiently, carefully, and not for the sake of making him a good bishop or hieromonk, but for the sake of the Gospel ideal, which the monks think differently, in a different way.

The high competitiveness of monasteries over time led to something that could not have been imagined by ancient monks even in a tempting vision: monks became bishops, and moreover, in the Russian Church only monks can be bishops.

"Run away from the bishops?" And if you yourself are now a bishop, where should you run?

By the way, I do not at all believe that this was a betrayal of ideals, a departure from traditions. Apparently, at that time it was impossible to do otherwise. It’s not my business to give an assessment; I’m just trying to understand and find points of support on which a modern monk could stand. And there are several such points of support, unshakable foundations of monasticism.

Firstly, monasticism is built on the ideal of evangelical gentleness, kindness and modesty.

Secondly, a monastery is a Christian Eucharistic community that lives as one family and gathers around Christ.

Thirdly, the importance of the schooling of monasticism, without which monasticism turns into magic, and most often simply cripples people’s lives. Fourth, monasticism can be varied

There is no single monasticism, there is no single monastic rule, rule, single acceptable style of piety, dress code, way of life, worship, prayer and spiritual guidance.

Fourthly, monasticism can be diverse. There is no single monasticism, there is no single monastic rule, rule, single acceptable style of piety, dress code, way of life, worship, prayer and spiritual guidance.

The orderly system of monasteries for which Western monasticism is known did not originate in the West. This is a completely normal variety of monastic experience for Christian antiquity, which has come down to us in the saying “they don’t go to someone else’s monastery with their own rules.” Each monastic community had its own charter, its own practices of piety, and all attempts to bring all this blessed diversity under one denominator would have been taken by the ancient fathers as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which is the most important reason for diversity in Christian life.

We advise you to study the Lord's Prayer

Russian Orthodox Church

It is important for a layman not only to find a spiritual father, but also to maintain mutual trust and love with him. How to achieve this while avoiding tactlessness towards the confessor? How not to cross the border between freedom and obedience? And, on the other hand, how can a young priest see spiritual service in its true light and learn to distinguish the important from the unimportant, to hear and understand another person? What mistakes to avoid during confession, what to consider when confessing spouses in the event of a conflict in the family?

Archimandrite Kirill (Semyonov), confessor of the Moscow Regional Diocese, clergyman of the Mother of God of Smolensk Novodevichy Convent, talks about this in an interview with a correspondent of the Journal of the Moscow Patriarchate (December, 2012).

- Your Reverence! There are situations when a priest serves alone in a parish, putting all his soul and strength into it. But most parishioners do not see him as their confessor. Although it is possible that they need spiritual nourishment. How can a priest gain the trust of his flock?

— One priest serves in most rural churches. And of course, if a sincere, trusting relationship does not arise between him and the flock, this will become a serious mutual problem. In order for a priest to develop trust and develop a deeper spiritual relationship with his flock, he must strive to love the parishioners as his spiritual children. To love as members of his family, over which he is - spiritually - placed as the head. When a priest is called to church services, he comes into contact with the everyday life of his parishioners. But you need to not only fulfill what is required: let’s confess, let’s sing, get married, and I don’t need anything else from you, delve into and know how everyone lives in their spiritual family. Concerns and circumstances of a person’s life, his family, occupation. And then there will be mutual love. And if he is the head of a spiritual family, then it is quite natural, knowing this life, to participate and help if necessary. He will not be a stranger to them, and “stranger” is probably the best description.

Such qualities as love, long-suffering, forbearance, attentive attitude to the soul of another person, to his troubles, needs and joys, attention of the heart can help here. This will be the basis of true spirituality for any priest. And parishioners, as vast church experience shows, will respond only with love.

—What do you call “attention of the heart”?

— “Attention of the heart” can be called a quality in which not only your mind, but also your heart opens to another person. When such attention can appear in your heart that it extends not only to the outer side of his life, but to the depths of his soul. To do this, your heart must be attentive to what is happening in the heart of this person. After all, a spiritual child can limit himself to certain words, but if your heart is attentive, it will see the real problem, which a person may be embarrassed and ashamed to talk about. But in those external words in which he expresses his confession, you can feel what is behind them.

- But if you look at the situation from the other side. How can a young priest gain authority if he has just arrived at the parish, but all the attention and trust of the parishioners is only given to the priest who has been serving here for a long time?

“Much depends on the more experienced priest, how to introduce his young brother into the life of the parish and win people over to him. On the part of the experienced, more wisdom is required, and on the part of the young, there must be humility in these circumstances and a desire to truly join this family. He can win favor with his love, his attention to parishioners, and his desire to bear part of the burdens of a more experienced priest. After all, creating a brotherly atmosphere depends on both of them. Both must understand that they are doing the common work of the Church, the work of salvation, by providing pastoral care. Then there will be no problems.

There are situations when a priest serves in a rural parish, but for some reason he doesn’t like his flock, these people. He wants to go to another parish, but they don’t give it to him. This means you have to work where you were assigned and help exactly those people. To do this you need to accept them as they are. Try to help them become better. Strive for this all the time, clearly realizing that you must become a father for them. The Church put you in this place.

We must not forget that a hundred years ago people were attached to the temple and the Sacraments from childhood. And now they come to the Church in adulthood, sometimes severely damaged by life and vices, and it can be very difficult to build relationships if a person does not have anything that would make it easier for him to join the Church. There is no end to the work here. This is impossible only through human efforts; there must be prayer. And she helps, and many people turn to her. We are talking about church revival, but it should manifest itself primarily not within the walls, but in the cleansing of human souls from sin.

— If a parishioner regularly confesses to the same priest, can he consider this pastor his spiritual father?

- Maybe. But you need to understand that there must also be obedience towards the spiritual father. Therefore, in order to avoid any unnecessary problems in this relationship, you need to obtain the consent of the priest himself to be your spiritual father.

Not to decide for yourself - this is my spiritual father, but to first talk to him about it. An experienced priest will never immediately refuse, but will say: “Okay, let’s communicate, talk, get to know each other better. Maybe you will decide that I am not ready for this." Let's say you like his preaching or spiritual advice, but don't like his hot temper. It will be difficult for you to communicate with him if you cannot overcome this feature of your shepherd or some of his views. It takes time for both to get used to it and find an opportunity for spiritual and emotional communication. In the end, love can conquer everything - both yours and his shortcomings, and lead to what you were looking for. I heard conversations like this: “How can you go to this priest, he is so harsh and intolerant?!” “No, you don’t know him, he’s only like that outwardly, but he’s ready to lay down his soul for you!” This is the case when a person realized that the priest’s character is secondary; the priest is trying to work on this. And at the same time, there are merits that attract him as a confessor.

— Did you have a spiritual father during your youth? What was the value of this relationship for you personally?

— I believed in God as a teenager, but came to the Church much later. He deliberately chose his spiritual father at the age of 26. This was preceded by several years of searching - both spiritual and life. But when a very serious crisis came in my life, I realized that I needed spiritual help. I visited several Moscow churches (at the end of the 1970s there were only 44 operating in Moscow), and in one of them I saw a priest whose word literally stopped me: I immediately decided that this man should become my spiritual father. To my request, he answered simply: “Come on such and such a day, we’ll talk.” From that day our many years of spiritual and friendly relations began. They took shape gradually, in mutual trust and without any exaltation, calmly and seriously. Their value for me was that I began to truly enter the Church, into its life. I began to become a church member: to confess, take communion, study theology and church tradition. Gradually, I made many wonderful and faithful friends who were also the spiritual children of this priest. In the end, on his advice, I later became a priest myself.

My spiritual father was very serious (not strict, but serious). He came to the Church at a mature age and had a secular education. Many people mistook his seriousness for coldness. But there was no coldness in him. And when you began to communicate with him, it became clear that behind this external coldness was hidden a kind and very attentive heart. But it took time to understand and see this. I remember how loving and considerate he was towards others. And reciprocal love was born as a feeling of gratitude to a person who very carefully enters your life, sparing your weaknesses as much as possible. Not suppressing your will, but gradually introducing you into the circle of real church tradition. I am very grateful to him for his patience and forbearance. Because it was difficult to enter the Church like this and immediately love and accept everything in it that is worthy of love. Of course, I had questions, as a thinking person should have. But gradually all this was resolved by love and joint prayer.

— Did he draw up some kind of churching program for you?

“I was already about 30 years old, but I knew nothing about the Church, and at first he guided my self-education. Sometimes he warned me about some theological phenomena and trends, in particular about renovationism. About books that need to be read carefully. He not only advised, but also warned: “When you read this, pay attention to this and that. Maybe the author looks at these phenomena too liberally.” He never forbade anything. Maybe he saw in me a person who was able to figure things out on his own. But we all started with the alphabet, with such Christian ascetic books as Abba Dorotheos and John Climacus. After all, there was a book famine for Orthodox literature back then.

Today I find small brochures, separate pages, and I understand how important and valuable each page was back then, how much important information it carried. Today you would flip through it without even noticing, because there is such an abundance of books and literature of any direction in the church book industry that your eyes run wide. Then we knew how to appreciate the smallest crumbs that we could get. They were typed on a typewriter or even copied by hand. In the 1980s, we at MDAiS did not have free notes; these were “blind” reprints made on a typewriter from notes from the 1950s in thick covers. We could use the MDA library, but this was also not enough.

Today there is even too much literature and there is a problem that books that are harmful to the soul are also published under the brand of Orthodoxy. Order and control are needed here, because people are sometimes seduced by spiritual charm.

— Among them are many brochures on how to prepare for confession. Some of them do not in any way attune the heart to a repentant mood, and confession turns into a formal listing of sins. Maybe these brochures are not worth reading at all? Or can they still help in some way?

— For me, at one time, such a book was the book of the ever-memorable Father John (Krestyankin) “The Experience of Constructing a Confession,” in which the priest revealed in detail each commandment of beatitude precisely from the point of view of repentance. She was very popular then, there were no others. These were the first signs of church spiritual literature, which was then beginning to be published in large editions. And I used it for the first time when I first became a priest. It turned out to be useful for many. But, of course, any book of this kind inevitably suffers from formalism. And some of them can be called a guide to aversion from real living confession.

I have come across books that simply contain a list of sins, but ones that a person has never heard of. For example, a confessor begins to confess to a young girl using this manual and asks questions regarding the details of her intimate life, which would make an adult embarrassed. In this case, other than temptation and even mental trauma, those who come to confession will receive nothing. And this is truly the destruction of a person’s soul when it is not taken into account who you ask these questions to and how necessary it is. I myself, as a priest taking confession, stopped using any brochures, having developed for myself a certain nature of confession and its content. And, knowing the people who come, you don’t need to invent anything, they speak themselves. Just ask them two or three questions for clarification.

An attentive confessor must himself recommend to his children how best to prepare for confession, and, of course, there is nothing better and more fruitful than individual confession. There will be no place in it for either formalism or questions that are in no way related to the life of a particular person. Of course, there is a so-called general confession when there are large crowds, for example, before fasting. And here a serious confessor is obliged to choose a spiritually sober guide to confession. Brief, but succinct, to help people, and not to push them away, not to leave them insensitive to the need for real repentance. Or he himself must be able to construct a short word without any help before confession, when there is no time left for a conversation with each person - this will take a week. And he only has an hour and a half. In this case, his words should concern the most important aspects of a person’s confession, and, probably, it is easiest to arrange them according to the beatitudes.

— If a young priest asked how to learn to confess, what would you answer him?

“I would advise him to learn to hear a person.” Because the person came not just to get advice, but first of all to express the most important thing that torments him. Therefore, a priest must definitely learn to listen. And even listen more than talk. And sometimes you don’t even need to say anything. Because a person, having spoken out, immediately brings repentance. And you see: he understands everything correctly, but he sinned and came with real repentance, and there is no need to explain anything. And sometimes it is necessary to explain sin and how to deal with this sin most effectively. And when you listen carefully, you will definitely understand what to say to him in response. Only when you listen carefully. People need to speak out. And sin sometimes requires both words and tears, and this must be patiently, if possible and time, listened to and accepted. Then the person will leave with a healed heart. And if the priest instead starts preaching and citing quotes, this can only ruin everything. Such impatience, its insistent pressure. And if there is still no participation and attention to the person in this, then the person will most likely think: “Father told me something, I didn’t understand.” And everything remained as it was, and everyone remained with their own opinion.

— Are there any “pitfalls” for a priest who is the confessor of both the husband and the wife, and the whole family?

— The most dangerous and, alas, common temptation is to take one side. The priest here is required to be dispassionate and sincere. You cannot allow yourself to be drawn to someone else's side. Naturally, every family has disagreements or conflicts. And each side, the woman usually more often, strives to “win” the priest and, with his help, attack the opponent. The confessor must definitely try to listen to both sides. Two different versions will be offered to your judgment, but the task is to try to bring them both to the truth and find out what is really happening, where is the lie and where is the truth. Without initially taking sides. But when it becomes clear who is right and who is wrong, then again, without taking anyone’s position, try to convey to the one who is wrong why his spouse is right. And help you accept this truth.

Of course, it is not easy for spouses to confess, since they are looking for an ally in the person of a priest in order to strengthen their position and thereby, as it seems to them, achieve confirmation of their rightness. But the priest must be very careful and consider only spiritual issues, and not property or any material problems. He shouldn't intrude there. The priest can correct and advise. But don’t give ready-made solutions: you need to change, move away, get a divorce. The task of the Church is to preserve, not to destroy. And as for marriages, sometimes the wife comes and says: “That’s it, father, I’m divorcing him.” "What's the matter?" “Yes, that’s what he told me! I can't forgive." This is the minimum, but there are also serious problems - drunkenness and domestic violence.

— If a priest, having sorted out the relationship between the spouses, sees that the family is destroyed and agrees to a divorce, how can he explain such a decision?

- Not an easy question. If you see that in fact there is no family, then divorce is just a formal legal action. There is no family that the Church blesses. And that there was nothing left from the marriage except living together in the same territory. And only hostility, beatings, betrayal, suffering and tears of children.

And I don’t see the point, why live together if the family is destroyed, if living together gives them nothing but hatred. In connection with this, it seems to me that these canons need to be amended so as not to pass off something that does not exist as something that supposedly still exists. This is not a marriage or a family - what is the point of continuing mutual torment, and maybe it is better to free people from this burden? And they will calm down, parting, and come to their senses. Or they will build their lives in some other way in the future. Yes, it will be trauma and drama, but still a way out of an inhumane situation.

— How do you figure out how often you should confess if you don’t have a spiritual father?

— Ideally, you need to confess as often as possible, because in confession a person always talks about the most important thing. And vice versa, the less often a person confesses, the more he relaxes spiritually. Sin should burn our hearts, literally driving us to confession. But more often, alas, it happens differently, and we are in no hurry to repent. And we even put up with unrepentant sin in our hearts. Without noticing how he continues to destroy us. The books of the holy fathers, especially the ascetic fathers, help in spiritual work on oneself. And here I can recommend the same Abba Dorotheus, John Climacus, Isaac the Syrian. And from today's adapted literature - St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov). Saint Theophan the Recluse, for example, has a whole series of books on how to build your spiritual life, which is impossible without confession. More modern authors are Father Alexander Elchaninov and Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh.

The content of confession is determined by the specific life of a specific person. It happens that someone cannot get out of their sins and needs to confess every day. The other confesses less often, but will always say something important, understanding well what sin is. Sometimes people say: “Father, I don’t know what to repent of.” This is the most infantile state of mind. A person knows nothing and does not understand what to repent of? And if you offer him two or three commandments, he agrees: yes, I sinned in this. And you understand that a person is simply not used to asking himself, is not used to thinking, he does not even understand what sin is. I would like to tell him: take the Savior’s commandments, understand through them for yourself what sin is, what the Lord does not want to see in you, what He wants to save you from, and start from there. Take a piece of paper and remember the most important thing, don’t be ashamed of anything, don’t forget, write it down - this will be your confession. And the main thing will be followed by other things that will be remembered, they will definitely begin to “crawl” out of you.

— How does confession affect a person’s spiritual life? How does it help in accumulating, deepening, and expanding spiritual experience?

— Influences and helps in the most direct way. After all, confession is a Sacrament, and the Sacrament for us is the source of the grace of the Holy Spirit, without which a person in himself is not capable of any spiritual life. It is an illusion that a person himself can change and decide everything. No, only in cooperation with the Lord God, with the grace of the Holy Spirit.

It is said: Wisdom will not enter into an evil soul (Wisdom 1:4). What does it mean? A soul poisoned by sin and left without repentance cannot work for the Lord. You can study theological sciences, know and constantly quote Scripture, but if at the same time a person does not care about purifying his heart, all his knowledge is extensive and his abilities do not help him in the least in spiritual development. I know many examples of how a person, having begun to confess regularly and seriously, begins to change and transform for the better in the most obvious way. His prayer life becomes deeper, sharp and negative manifestations of some spiritual qualities disappear. He becomes softer, calmer, kinder, more responsive to other people's pain and need, and capable of compassion. From the outside it is always more noticeable.

People sometimes say: Father, that’s how much I repent and pray, but I haven’t changed. No, you're wrong. I have been observing you and knowing you for a long time, and this is not quite what you think. And maybe it should seem that way to you so that you don’t weaken your efforts.

— Do you often apply penance to your spiritual children as punishment? What does this mean?

— People often ask to punish them themselves, I don’t strive for this. That's how we are made. Or rather, we are such by our sinful nature that sometimes we cannot correct ourselves without punishment. I am not a supporter of any harsh punishments (and I learned this at one time from my confessor); I use them extremely rarely, and even then in accordance with the capabilities of a person and the characteristics of his life. Some, until they truly repent, can be given strict advice to abstain from the sacrament so that it does not bring judgment and condemnation to the person; others, for a certain period of time, should resort to frequent prostrations and daily reading of the penitential canon. In Church Slavonic, the word “punishment” has a different meaning than in colloquial Russian, namely “teaching.” Therefore, probably, the best punishment would be to teach a person the correct course of action, not so much through some harsh disciplinary measures (although this is not excluded), but rather through the desire to penetrate a person’s heart with the word of love, which itself can change a lot in a person.

—What is the relationship between freedom and obedience? Isn’t a person deprived of freedom by following all the advice of his spiritual father?

—What kind of freedom are we talking about? It is clear that this is not about freedom to sin recklessly. Let us remember what the Lord tells us: If you continue in My word, then you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free (John 8:31-32). This means that the condition for true freedom will be fidelity to the word of Christ, Who Himself is the truth and the way of true life. Consequently, the word of a spiritual father to his child should not be in conflict with the word of the Lord. If this is so, then obedience to the spiritual father will, in fact, be obedience to Christ Himself, and this will lead a person to real freedom from self-will and sin. Then there will be no contradiction between freedom and obedience. Obedience not just to a confessor, but to a confessor who speaks the words of Christ and shows the way to Christ. And God forbid that the words of Christ are replaced by a confessor with his own private opinion and whims.

— What if we are talking about freedom in creativity?

— Creativity is that side of life that can be irrational and less subject to any direct restrictions. If this is a believer, then in his creativity he must have the fear of God and certain concepts about the possible and the impossible. In particular, that the freedom of his creativity should not contradict the truth that he professes. It must not go beyond those boundaries beyond which it is pointless to talk about freedom, because this will already be freedom to sin. And a creative person must always understand that he must be a co-creator with God, no matter what field he chooses: music, poetry, painting or writing philosophical treatises. His work can be multifaceted, multifaceted, with different content, but it must remain within the boundaries of Christ’s word and Christ’s commandment, leading to Christ.

— Can you, as a confessor, be disappointed by the confession of a spiritual child? Can you tell us about the different types of relationships “spiritual father - spiritual child”?

- Yes maybe. It happens that you expect from a person some fruits of his spiritual work, but he comes to confession and reveals, for example, laziness, carelessness or sinful self-will, selfishness, coldness, obvious unreason. People are people, and overcoming your old self is hard work. This requires a lot of patience from the confessor. Relationships are also very different. You can tell someone that your relationship is not working out (this also happens, especially when you see that a person does not want to take spiritual life seriously, but is simply looking for an interesting interlocutor in a priest). And there are very long-term, deep relationships, and you joyfully see how Christ sometimes works a real miracle of transformation with a person. With some, spiritual contact is established almost immediately, with others it is more difficult, some leave on their own (this is so that the confessor, probably, can ask himself why the person left him as a confessor). The confessor is also obliged to ask himself such a question.

— What is the reason for the misunderstanding that arises when confessors communicate with their spiritual children? How to avoid this?

— Misunderstandings arise when people speak different languages. This is also true in spiritual relationships. The confessor needs to know in basic terms the life of his spiritual child, his character, habits, interests, and take into account his physical and mental capabilities, if, for example, we are talking about fasting. This will help to properly guide your spiritual child, and he will have more trust and understanding in his confessor. Problems can only be avoided when there is mutual trust and love.

— What spiritual perplexities and problems should you definitely contact your confessor?

— First of all, with spiritual issues. And it often happens that during confession a priest is asked to participate in absentia in the division of property, real estate, or to solve the purely everyday problems of some relative about whom you have never heard anything at all until now. Among the most important spiritual problems are internal, spiritual problems. Everything that concerns difficulties in relationships with people, passions and vices that have become habits, possible doubts about the truth of Holy Scripture or church tradition, problems associated with prayer or fasting - with all this you need to go to your confessor, to a priest. And not to the “grandmothers at the candlestick”, who often with the best intentions, but without the necessary spiritual knowledge and experience, will recommend something from which you can really suffer in the spiritual sense.

- What to do if for some reason you are disappointed in your spiritual father? For example, the spiritual father committed some act that the spiritual child regards as negative.

“And you don’t need to ever be enchanted by anyone, so as not to be disappointed someday.” A confessor is also a person who is not immune from mistakes. Obedience should not be blind and reckless. And if this happens, then the spiritual child, of course, should try to find out the essence of the problem with the confessor himself. If nothing can be changed and a person’s conscience does not allow him to continue to maintain spiritual relationships, he is free to move away from such a confessor. There is no sin here; the sin would be to continue an already insincere relationship. However, it is important to keep gratitude in your heart to your former confessor and continue to pray for him as a priest and a person, so that everything will be fine with him. Not to grow cold and not to become embittered, but to preserve the good things that he received from his confessor.

— Should the relationship with the confessor be somehow regulated so that this does not constitute tactlessness on the part of the spiritual child?

“You can’t make your spiritual father something like a pocket oracle or become one of your “most beloved children.” It would be tactless to manage the time and life of a confessor for insignificant, not the most important reasons, literally pursuing him (and this happens) with your annoying requests to meet, talk, pay more attention to you than to others.

An experienced confessor himself, first of all, must be able to regulate his relationships with his spiritual children and the relationships of his spiritual children with each other. Try to avoid unnecessary jealousy towards him. This happens to women, for example. Men are more restrained and balanced, and a woman herself sometimes does not know what she is looking for and wants: serious spiritual work or her own emotional outbursts. Any position of the confessor in such cases is spiritual love. Only she helps the confessor build the right relationship with the spiritual child. And, without being distracted by any of your emotions, look for the one thing you need.

Interviewed by Alexey Reutsky

“Church Bulletin” / Patriarchy.ru

Could the Holy Fathers be wrong?

The Holy Fathers are the undisputed authorities of theology. But it should be understood that they did not invent a creed. They were not creators, but witnesses and guides of the Truth, which was preserved and professed by the Church. However, sometimes in their writings the Fathers of the Church expressed their own opinions, based on subjective experience. This is the reason that the Holy Fathers often have different and even opposing points of view on various issues.

For example, Ignatius of the Caucasus and Theophan the Recluse, who lived around the same time, had different views on the nature of angels and the human soul. The first argued that angels and souls have a certain corporeality. The second insisted on their incorporeality. However, this disagreement does not relate to the area of ​​fundamental dogmatic truths. It did not prevent the Church from canonizing both theologians.

Sometimes the Holy Fathers made mistakes. After all, individual Christians are not immune from them, unlike the Church, the pillar and foundation of the truth (1 Tim. 3:15). For example, John Chrysostom made an erroneous assumption about the date of birth of Christ. And Gregory of Nyssa for a long time professed the doctrine of apocatastasis, which was not accepted by the Church. This is the name given to the idea of ​​the universal salvation of sinful souls living in hell. It should be noted that at the end of his life the theologian nevertheless abandoned this idea. Therefore, not all the creations of the Holy Fathers are equally true. The holiness of a certain person recognized by the Church does not at all extend to everything said and written by him.

Holy Fathers - who are they?

Saints in Orthodoxy are people who have pleased God, revered by the Church for their righteousness, virtue and profession of faith. The Fathers of the Church, or Holy Fathers, are a narrower category of God's righteous people. This is how saints who made a significant contribution to Orthodox theology have been called since the end of the 4th century.

The theology and philosophy of the Church Fathers is called patristics (“pater” means “father” in Latin). This is a systematic presentation of the teachings of the Fathers.

The section of theological science that deals with the biography and list of the works of the Fathers is called patrolology.

Venerable John of Damascus, one of the Fathers of the Church (Orthodox icon)

In the absence of the elders

—What is the situation with clergy today?

- Complex. I think that not all priests, unfortunately, have the gift of clergy.

—What is the gift of clergy, what does it consist of?

— I would say this: this is the reasonableness of the demands that the confessor makes of the spiritual child. Without in any way setting myself up as an example, I can say from my experience that I have always been guided by the capabilities and strength of a person’s soul. And if I felt that I could crush and break, I stopped. If I felt that there was still a reserve of some spiritual strength, then I delved even deeper into the soul and gave some advice, which at times, perhaps, was not easy to implement, but spiritual children, as a rule, sought to adhere to them.

- What happened now - why is it difficult with clergy in our time?

“The main thing that’s happening is the disappearance of the elders.”

At one time, Father John (Krestyankin) told me: “We knew such elders, similar in spirit to the ancient elders. And you know us. And then others will come who will not be distinguished by any special talents or spiritual strength.” This time has probably come, we are now experiencing it - a time, as it is now commonly called, of apostasy, that is, a retreat from the faith. It is only by the grace of God that our Russia and the Russian people are reborn and become believers. And just for the modern generation, Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov, reflecting on the eldership and its disappearance in the future, said: there is no need to be sad in connection with the disappearance of wise spiritual leaders, you need to focus on spiritual books, on the fathers of the Church.

And you know, it’s amazing, because I became a believer and was baptized when I was 20 years old, in 1969. A little over 20 years passed when suddenly changes occurred in Russia - a law was passed on freedom of religion and freedom of conscience. And from about this time, or better yet, from the end of Gorbachev’s perestroika, in 1989, Orthodox books began to be published: the holy fathers, lives. And now there is a sea of ​​these books and a huge number of publishing houses! And we have the opportunity to get acquainted with the works of St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, St. Theophan the Recluse, many Optina elders, Glinsk elders, modern elders, like Father John (Krestyankin), and others who left behind their works. And they, in general, answered for us all the questions that modern humanity now faces. So, for example, Father John (Krestyankin) has a “Spiritual First Aid Kit”, compiled as advice on various problems of spiritual life. Now the works of the holy fathers are systematized by topic, for example: about humility, about prayer, about pride, and so on. We may well look to them for spiritual guidance.

Moreover, I do not now advise my spiritual children to delve into the ascetic works of such ascetics as, say, Isaac the Syrian, because the ancient fathers and desert dwellers focused on monasticism, on people living a deeply ascetic life. We don't live that kind of life. And if we try to follow their advice, on the one hand, this can certainly be a benefit for us, but on the other hand, we may find ourselves in the trap of misunderstanding and inconsistency between such experience and modern life. This can lead to mental darkness, even mental illness. Therefore, I orient those who turn to me towards modern elders and domestic ascetics of piety, who have already died, but left us their precious works focused on modern society.

- What kind of books are these? - Can you list a few more?

— Father Nikolai Golubtsov, holy righteous father Alexey Mechev, of course, Glinsk and Optina elders, holy righteous father John of Kronstadt, Theophan the Recluse, Ignatius Brianchaninov. There are so many of them, you can’t read them all! And now people are very busy - you spend a lot of time just on the way to work or to the service. You can’t re-read everything, but this will be enough for guidance in spiritual life.

Time to check

— Father Vladimir, where should a person who has just come to the Church start looking for a confessor?

- First of all, you need to pray about it. The Monk Simeon the New Theologian advises to pray a lot so that the Lord will send a confessor. Another tip: don't rush. Archimandrite John (Krestyankin) said the following: when a young man and a girl have met and have sympathy for each other, then three years must pass before the issue of marriage is resolved. Of course, there should be friendly, chaste relations between them, and by the end of the third year, young people should decide: can I live with this person or not? Spirituality is also, in a sense, a marriage, only a spiritual one. And therefore, you do not immediately need to ask to become a spiritual child of the priest who you like and who meets your inner needs today. Tomorrow this may not be the case!

You need to look at it very carefully, see the positive sides - and we, priests, being human, also show biased, negative sides. It is necessary to observe how the priest leads his spiritual children, whether he completely imposes his will, insists on it, or leaves the person freedom. Even the Lord does not limit our freedom, He knocks on the door of the heart, he knocks, but does not order: “Open the door for Me!”

“You can immediately trust a spiritually inexperienced person, a “young old man”...

- Yes. Young elders are young, inexperienced priests who consider themselves people who know the will of God, who understand everything, who see everything. But in reality this is not so. Yes, of course, there are exceptional cases: the Venerable Alexander of Svirsky was already considered an elder at the age of 18, the Venerable Ambrose of Optina became an elder at the age of 38. And in our ordinary life, people come mature to this charisma, to that obedience that the Lord can impose on a person directly or through a spiritual father. But if we don’t see something, but claim that we see and insist on it, then woe to us, priests, confessors!..

Therefore, I repeat, there is no need to rush.

I have been serving as a priest for 36 years now, and many people have passed through me and stayed with me as a confessor. But before I established a relationship prematurely: a person asks for it, “fell in love” as with a priest at first sight and thinks that everything will be fine. There were also cases when people left me, probably disappointed, probably because I could not answer their questions deeply enough. Or maybe he answered in such a way that the questioners were not interested in listening. There are different reasons for the departure of lay believers from their confessors. And in order to prevent this from happening, I gradually, with experience, began to establish some period of, so to speak, “abstinence” before entering into a relationship. I say, “Watch me. I will not refuse you under any circumstances; I will now act as an “acting” spiritual father. But I won’t be until you look at me long enough.”

— At the same time, do you confess these people?

- Yes, of course, I confess, talk, answer all the questions that they put before me.

—What is the difference between a spiritual child and a person who simply comes to confession?

— How do your children differ from other people’s children? Probably the same. Your children obey you, or at least they must obey you until a certain age. And then, perhaps, obedience is preserved, if it is useful. But other people's children don't listen to you. They may turn to you for some advice, for candy, so to speak, for an explanation of something. So the person confessing, who is not a spiritual child, is at approximately the same level of relationship with the priest.

Who is counted among the Holy Fathers

Loyalty to church teaching, holiness of life and general church recognition are the main criteria for being considered one of the Holy Fathers. Not all outstanding theologians have been awarded this “title.” In their writings, the Holy Fathers set forth the teaching of the Church. And with their righteous lives they confirmed its truth and salvation.

Archpriest Oleg Davydenkov notes that true theology is the “vision of God of the Trinity.” And it is impossible without communication with God (prayer), ascetic effort and constant work on oneself.

Therefore, all the Fathers of the Church were holy ascetics.

Is it possible to use the phrase “holy father” to address a living Orthodox priest? No, such a tradition is present only in Western Christianity. In Orthodoxy, it is customary to address a clergyman using the following formula: father + name. For example, “Father Oleg”, “Father Andrey” or “father” or “father”, etc.

Holy Fathers: do they always have the last word?

Is the opinion of the Holy Fathers on any issue final? And did they say everything? It is important to understand that the teaching of the Church does not evolve in its content. After all, this is not a philosophical system or political theories

It only manifests itself through the saints, being the Revelation of the Holy Spirit. And this happens continuously for centuries. The saints lived and worked within a certain historical context. This means that views on certain things (not counting dogmas) can be supplemented and changed over time.

For example, the doctrine of the Holy Trinity or Christ’s redemption of humanity from sin are dogmatic positions that the Church has never changed. And the rule adopted by the Holy Fathers at the Council of Chalcedon on the ordination of women at least 40 years of age as deaconesses is an outdated norm. Now in the Orthodox Church there is no rank of deaconesses.

In addition to the historical, the everyday context is also important. Thus, most of the Holy Fathers were monks. In this regard, in their works some issues that are relevant for the layman are poorly studied. For example, the Fathers of the Church did not delve into the topic of relations between a man and a woman.

Archpriest Andrei Tkachev recognizes the immutability of dogmatic teaching, but argues that

We advise you to study Prayers to Cosma and Damian

So, Orthodox Christians must be guided by the opinions of the Holy Fathers

However, one must always take into account historical changes and the possibility of human errors of theologians on secondary issues

The confessor taught us to understand what sin is

Still from the film “Andrei Rublev”, Andrei’s confession to his teacher and mentor Daniil Cherny, dir.
A. Tarkovsky (1966) Smirnov notes a very important point in his book - it was the confessors who shaped the moral life of the people.

They taught people to understand what sin means. In the updates there were even questions of this kind - did you torture animals? That is, the range of moral issues that should concern a Christian was outlined there quite fully.

Smirnov also describes such a phenomenon as a “repentant family”, from the word “repentance”. When exactly it arose is unknown. Smirnov believed that already in the 15th–16th centuries. The monastery elder with his children, novices, was taken as a model, and this model, as far as possible, was transferred to parish life. His children, those who confess to him, gather around the priest-confessor: this is how a penitential family is formed.

Smirnov claims that it could be recruited and consisted not necessarily of those who lived not far from this temple, that is, from residents of one village, for example, but that it could be people from different places.

By voluntary consent, a person pledged to be obedient to his spiritual father, and he took responsibility for his salvation, etc. Not on such a scale, of course, as was the case in the relationship between the charismatic elder and his flock, since the father of the penitential family may not have had the corresponding spiritual gifts, but, as we have already found out, he should have at least known the canons.

At the same time, there are a sufficient number of historical documents that speak of the mutual displeasure of the children and their confessors. Either the children complain that the confessor treats them rudely, or the confessors complain that the children do not show them due respect.

This is, perhaps, all that we can say about the clergy of Ancient Rus'. Apparently, it in any case met the needs and customs of its time.

About the spiritual father, holy fathers

A spiritual director is a sacred minister who has extensive life and spiritual experience. He teaches religious obedience.

In the history of Orthodoxy there are the main options for mentoring:

• parish priest;
• the elders are healers of the human soul, these are future saints.

The elders took a vow of humility and, through their actions and deeds, eased the lot of people lost in doubt. With conversations and parting words they healed the soul, gave peace and tranquility. They helped in the religious education of students, taught them to comprehend wisdom and contributed to the improvement of the believer, and guided them on the righteous path.

Spiritual leaders of organizations

The confessors of theological seminaries, dioceses, non-profit organizations, military units, schools, prisons, hospitals, and the media are always priests who ensure that the ideology and practice of the organization do not contradict the Orthodox faith and practice of the Orthodox Church, and that the members of the organization not only achieve statutory goals, but also, if possible, grew spiritually. At the same time, these confessors often do not pretend to be the spiritual fathers of employees (although in military units and especially on ships they usually act as spiritual fathers), but they can remind them of the need to promptly contact their personal confessors.

Wrong relationship

—What kind of relationship with a confessor can be wrong? How can you tell if they are adding up incorrectly?

— Let’s say that if a person sees in a priest—I’m talking about personal experience—an elder and addresses him as an elder, this is a false attitude. I'm not an old man. It is wrong when a person elevates an ordinary confessor and places him on the pedestal of holiness. We, people, I am a man, a sinful man, and I would like to get rid of passions, like my spiritual children. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but all the time I pray to God to free me from passions.

It is very wrong to collect information about your spiritual father as a miracle worker: here he showed insight, and here, through his prayers, someone recovered. Most often, this contains a fairly large element of fantasy, and the person, the confessor, begins to be deified. And then, when we suddenly show weakness, our fall is great in the eyes of such people. And our memory perishes with noise, as it is said in the Gospel.

— Is it necessary for a family to have a common confessor, and what should they do if the bride has one and the groom has another?

“I adhere to this view, although I never insist on it, that it is more correct to have one confessor. Let's imagine this picture: there are many wonderful confessors in Moscow now; They are also remarkable because they have experience communicating with elders who passed on some of their experience to them - and you can’t get it from any books!

But nevertheless, due to the difference in characters and personal approaches, they sometimes look differently at this or that problem and at the means of healing from this or that mental illness. And this can be a stumbling block! Suppose your confessor says one thing in connection with a certain problem in family life, and your husband’s confessor tells his husband something different in connection with the same problem. And you find yourself faced with a choice: what to do? And you are lost, because you love your confessor and consider him to be the “last resort,” but your spouse believes his confessor. And now there is a conflict.

- What to do?

— I would advise such families the following. If there is no choice, then the wife needs to listen to her husband. Because she is married.

^ DOGMA ABOUT THE SACRAMENT OF PRIESTHOOD

So that people could become shepherds of Christ's Church and receive the power to perform the Sacraments, the Lord established another special Sacrament, the Sacrament of the Priesthood.

Priesthood is such a sacred act in which, through the prayerful laying on of the hands of the bishops on the head of the chosen person, God's grace is brought down to this person, sanctifying and placing him on a certain level of the church hierarchy, and then assisting him in the passage of hierarchical duties.

Dogmas about God as a judge and rewarder

God accomplishes the great work of sanctifying people or assimilating the merits of Christ in no other way than with the free participation of the people themselves, under the conditions of their faith and good deeds. For the accomplishment of this work, God has appointed a limit: for private individuals it continues until the end of their earthly life, and for the entire human race it will continue until the very end of the world. At the end of both periods, God is and has to appear as the Judge and Rewarder for every person and all of humanity. He demands and will demand from people an account of how they used the means given for their sanctification and salvation, and will reward everyone according to their deserts.

The entire Holy Trinity participates in the matter of judging us and rewarding us.

The death of a person is an essential circumstance preceding this trial.

Death is the separation of the soul from the body, the cause of death lies in its fall into sin, death is the common destiny of the entire human race, death is the limit by which the time of exploits ends and the time of retribution begins.

The souls of the dead are blissful or tormented, depending on their deeds. However, neither this bliss nor this torment is perfect. They receive them perfect after the general resurrection.

Retribution to the righteous by the will of the heavenly Judge has two types: their glorification in heaven and their glorification on earth - in the militant Church.

The glorification of the righteous, after their death, on earth is expressed by the fact that the earthly Church honors them as saints and friends of God and calls them in prayers as intercessors before God; honors their very relics and other remains, as well as their sacred images or icons.

Sinners go with their souls to hell - a place of sadness and sorrow. Full and final reward for sinners will be at the end of this age.

Sinners who repented before death, but did not have time to bear fruits worthy of repentance (prayer, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression of love for God in their actions), still have the opportunity to receive relief from suffering and even complete liberation from the bonds of hell. But they can only be received by the goodness of God, through the prayers of the Church and charity.

Dogmas about universal judgment

The day will come, the last day for the entire human race, the day of the end of the age and the world, the day established by God, who wants to carry out a general and decisive Judgment - the day of judgment.

On this day Jesus Christ will appear in His glory to judge the living and the dead. The Lord did not reveal to us when this great day would come, for our own moral benefit.

Signs of the coming of the Great Judgment: extraordinary successes of good on earth, the spread of the Gospel of Christ throughout the world; extraordinary successes of evil and the appearance on earth of the Antichrist, an instrument of the devil.

On the day of general judgment, the Lord will come from heaven - the Judge of the living and the dead, Who will abolish the Antichrist by the appearance of His coming; at the voice of the Lord the dead will rise for judgment and the living will be changed; the very judgment of both will take place; the end of the world and the gracious kingdom of Christ will follow.

At the conclusion of the general judgment, the righteous Judge will pronounce His final verdict on both the righteous and sinners. This retribution will be complete, perfect, decisive.

Retribution for both the righteous and sinners will be proportionate to their good deeds and their sins and extends from different degrees of eternal bliss to different degrees of eternal torment.

Confessor by correspondence

—Can a modern person have a confessor at a distance? Call each other, correspond over the Internet, rarely meeting in person or not meeting at all?

- Of course, such relationships can exist, and they are very common. I heard that such famous confessors as Archpriest Vladimir Vorobyov, Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov had correspondence with a certain elder - they took advice from him in writing and received answers in writing.

And it seems that none of them ever saw this old man. Is it possible. We were lucky enough to go to the Pskov-Pechersky Monastery whenever we wanted, at first we came to the elders with “sheets” of questions, then the questions became fewer and fewer. And some no longer came, but asked the elders in writing and received answers. And we were guided by these answers.

“We are again talking about elders, people of special talents, visionary ones who could solve certain issues at a distance. But what about ordinary confessors?

“There are questions that, I think, ordinary confessors-priests, not blessed with such spiritual, senile grace, cannot answer. The questions are complex, requiring not only attention and deepening into the human soul, but also some kind of parallel knowledge, spiritual knowledge, given only from above, only by God.

But suppose I have spiritual children whom I have known for a long time, and this knowledge helps me, without being an old man and a perspicacious person, to solve, perhaps, much more complex problems. And if you, an ordinary priest, do not know all the complexities and nuances of the life of your spiritual child, how can you answer his questions and difficulties?

— Over time, a person begins to need a confessor less, ask fewer questions, and confess shorter. Is this normal?

- I think it's normal. Of course, a person learns. Of course, any subject in which we gain knowledge is much more extensive than, say, an institute program. But nevertheless, the institute provides systematic knowledge about this subject, quite comprehensive. The foundation is laid in you, and, relying on it, you can develop further. If a person has an inquisitive mind, and he continues to strive to understand the subject that interests him, then gradually, gradually, the questions become fewer and fewer. It’s the same in spiritual life! When we recently visited Father John (Krestyankin), I filtered 2-3 questions out of myself like a mosquito. I had nothing to ask, no problems!

And I understand that Father John answered almost all of our questions during our fairly long spiritual relationship, which spanned three and a half decades.

— How do you feel about the change of confessor?

“You know, when I was younger, I was very jealous of this, and I was quite worried when my spiritual children left me. But if they went, for example, to Father John (Krestyankin) or to such pillars of the Church, the joy from this overcame the pain that was in me. And now I feel free.

We advise you to study the Text of the prayer “Virgin Virgin Mary” in Russian with comments and recommendations

Guided by the saying: fish look for where it is deeper, and man looks for where it is better. Man is free! And to focus on me, a person who is not a saint and knows, perhaps imperfectly, but the value of his spiritual life... I would not want this, I would not want to say about myself: “Here I am, the source of knowledge.” Nothing like this. There are people much wiser than me. And if my spiritual children end up with such people, I am now happy about this and do not feel pain.

Obedience and freedom

— Strictly speaking, absolute obedience is a monastic category. To what extent can a worldly person observe obedience?

— Of course, it is necessary to take into account human capabilities.

There is a certain range of problems - not very diverse and extensive - that people living in the world usually pose to us, priests. These questions essentially concern the code of moral Christian life, and when it comes to them, the spiritual child, of course, must show obedience. Well, for example, life in a so-called “civil marriage”, in relationships that are not recorded by state authorities and are not sanctified by the Church. This is fornication. Some say: “Yes, I’d rather get married, I won’t go to the registry office.” But these people do not understand that before the revolution, the Church combined two institutions: the registry office (parish registers) and the institution of the Church itself, where sacraments or rituals were performed. And, of course, the person who asks you for clergy should listen to you and stop living in such illegal cohabitation. Or legalize it. It's simple, right?

There are problems on a different level. For example, moving from one job to another job - is it right or wrong? I know that the elders never advised simply switching to another job, say, because of a higher salary, but recommended that their spiritual children remain in their current job. And, in general, experience shows: this is correct most often. Why? Because when a person moves to another job, he must adapt, his employees and colleagues must accept him, and if they do not accept him, this may result in dismissal. Here's an increased salary level for you!..

— Should a person discuss any issues of family life with his confessor? Why not solve them yourself?

“I think any discussion should start in the family.” There are questions and problems that husband and wife can resolve themselves. And there are those that have to be submitted for the blessing of the confessor when, for example, the husband does not agree with the point of view of his wife or vice versa. Moreover, you need to understand: I ask this question only if I am ready to fulfill the blessing of my confessor. If I don’t fulfill it because I don’t like the answer, then this is a profanation of the relationship. It is better not to approach your confessor with this question and live according to your own will, than to ask and not fulfill it.

About priests and priesthood on Pravmir:

• Why are priests needed?
• About priests|Priests' answers to questions
• How to become a priest, or the parachute rule
• Myths about priests
• Archbishop Mark of Yegoryevsk: A reasonable priest would not drive a Lexus!
• Why does a priest get tired?
• Priests are people too
• Should a priest work in a secular job so as not to depend on the parish?
• Priests and monks - veterans of the Great Patriotic War
• The Marriage of a Priest, or the Battle for the Ring
• Confession of a Prison Priest
• The priest's answer to the philosopher
• Priest, elder, confessor...
• Diary of a Country Priest
• The priest must maintain a high level of public rhetoric
• Priest Friend: Why not?
• What is it like to be a “former” priest?
• The priest makes cynical jokes, gets sick or drinks. What's wrong with him?
• Archpriest Oleg Teor: The army needs a priest like a father
• Priests of a big city. Father Anthony Lakirev
• Confessions of a Bad Priest

About the advice of a confessor

When a Christian and a priest give advice, it happens that this is advice in general, advice addressed to some abstract ideal interlocutor, a popular print that does not exist in reality.

Once, at a lecture at Sunday school, I told how difficult it was for the English parishioners of Anthony of Sourozh, because there were dozens of emigrant grandmothers in the church and each of them was the bearer of their own superstitions. While the young Englishwoman reached the bowl, many comments were made to her: “The scarf is not worn correctly,” “the hands are folded incorrectly,” and many others. etc. One of my listeners reacted to this story as follows: “If a person has come to God, then he is indifferent to what comments are made to him.”

Such words indicate that some people apply Christianity in general, and not specifically. Of course, no ideal Christian doesn’t care how they scold him. Nothing distracts him from prayer. But this is a fictitious image. But a real living person is in pain, and his pain is not an image; it cannot be healed with a clichéd answer.

But until the life of Christ has become the living life of a person, he cannot answer what his interlocutor needs to hear.

There are, for example, people for whom God is not Father, but Mother, for the reason that their fathers were monsters and for these people it is intolerable to compare God with their father. If you approach the problem in a stereotyped way, you can decide that they are wrong. And if it is pastorally wise, they can and should be understood.

But an inexperienced priest and Christian, when giving advice, look at what should be in general, and not at the soul of a particular person.

My obedience for life

— How did you meet your spiritual father, Archimandrite John (Krestyankin), and Schema-Abbot Savva?

“Unfortunately, at one time, priests paid very little attention to us, young people, because in Soviet times it was dangerous for them to enter into communication with young people. Although there were Moscow priests who communicated with young people, they were few. I, not yet being baptized (I was baptized six months after this trip), came to the Pskov-Pechersky Monastery and met Father Savva (Ostapenko). I don’t even remember Father John (Krestyankin), although they said that he existed and we met him. And a year later I came to Pechory again. And then one day Father Savva, knowing that I was engaged in literary works, invited me to edit his book. And he put a prayer for his spiritual father there. I asked: “Do you want to accept me as a spiritual child?” He says, “If you want, I can accept.” I knew that he was great, that he was a special person... But I was very vain and, in general, still remain so, probably, so having such a spiritual father was certainly prestigious for me. I still didn’t understand what clergy was!

So I asked Father Savva to be my spiritual father. Which I don’t regret at all! I thank God for the fact that for some time, not very long, he guided me and identified such important, reference points in my future path of spiritual life.

- For example?
What do you remember most from his advice?
“After my first, general, confession, he told me: “I will give you obedience, which may seem difficult to you, but this is the work of your whole life: do not judge people.” I tried somehow to fulfill this, and indeed, this is obedience for life. And this is the path to love.

Father John (Krestyankin)
become your confessor — I turned to Father Savva several times, and at the same time I began to develop some kind of relationship with Father John (Krestyankin). So I confessed to Father Savva, he told me: “I bless,” or “I do not bless,” and did not explain anything. Father John never contradicted Father Savva, their points of view, of course, coincided, but Father John seemed to “chew” everything to me: why exactly this way, why not differently. And this turned out to be much closer to me than simply: “I bless”, “I do not bless.” So gradually I “relocated” to Father John, who accepted me as a spiritual child.

Signs

But it is not enough to just understand the meaning of such an address as “Holy Father”; you also need to know by what criteria this messenger of God can be identified. He must be orthodox in his teachings, an authority in matters relating to faith, and his writings can give an accurate answer as to what the meaning of Christian teaching should be in the lives of people. Therefore, the Church often denied various writers the right to be called Holy Fathers because in their writings they deviated from the true faith. They also gave reasons to doubt their constancy in relation to Christianity, even despite their services to the church and their degree of scholarship.

In addition, these theologians must have holiness of life, that is, they must be an example for believers, pushing them towards spiritual understanding and development. The most significant sign of the Holy Fathers is their veneration by the church. It can be expressed in many forms. For example, clergy may point to some illustrious men as witnesses to the true faith of the apostles and base their own confessions on their writings. Another form of recognition may be that the works of other theologians are designated for reading in liturgical texts.

The Mystery of Spirituality

—What is the most difficult thing for you in being a clergyman and what is the most gratifying?

“The hardest thing about being a clergyman is that my soul is not an abode for God. This is how the elders differed from confessors like me: they matured the soul of man, by the grace of God they saw it. And they gave advice that was healing specifically for this person. This is what brings me pain, but in no case is it disappointment, but pain, because in clergy I see great opportunities for my soul and it is clergy that brings me the greatest satisfaction in itself. Because sometimes I see how advice—not mine, but “leaked” from someone—benefits another person. This is a huge joy! It is a joy when the advice you gleaned from the holy fathers and elders has a healing effect on the souls of your spiritual children.

Confessors in monasteries

All hieromonks, elders, and mentors subordinate to the Chief Confessor of the monastery (confessor of the monastery) are also called confessors. The confessor of a monastery is usually called a special clergyman whose duties include the spiritual guidance of the brethren on the path to salvation. The main confessor of the monastery is necessarily a hieromonk (hieromonk), archimandrite or abbot. But with a heavy load or with weakness, he can delegate part of his responsibilities to elders or mentors - other monks, and even white priests, while he bears full responsibility for this activity. A monastic who is not a priest can also be the confessor of an Orthodox Christian. In addition to the elders-mentors, the hieromonks who confess the pilgrims are subordinate to the Chief Confessor. In addition to elders and mentors in Orthodoxy, there are also abbess, elders, mentors - spiritual mothers only among nuns. Naturally, they cannot confess and absolve sins in the temple. There is no main confessor in the nunnery; all the elders and mentors are led by the abbess herself; The spiritual father, capable of confessing and absolving sins in the temple, in the nunnery is an elderly married priest.

Confessor

A hieromonk of an honest and God-pleasing life, gifted by God with spiritual reasoning and diligent in reading the Word of God and the patristic writings, is appointed to the position of Spiritual Father of the monastery at the age of perfection. The responsibility of the Confessor is to perform the Sacrament of Repentance and to provide spiritual guidance to the brethren along the path to salvation. The confessor must keep a record of who and when received the Holy Mysteries of Christ, so that everyone can steadily approach this great sacrament. Also, the Spiritual Father is obliged, in accordance with his indispensable duty, to visit the sick, comforting and encouraging them in mental and physical illnesses.

If the confessor, due to the multitude of brethren or due to weakness, does not have time to receive all of his spiritual pupils, then with the permission of the abbot, some of them are given to an experienced spiritual elder, but the confessor is responsible for the correctness of the spiritual guidance on the part of the elder.

In addition, with the blessing of the Abbot, other hieromonks or simple monks experienced in spiritual life, who are subordinate to the main confessor of the monastery, receiving fatherly advice and instructions from him, can be appointed as elders or mentors over new monks.

In addition to the elders-mentors, the monastery confessor is subordinate to the confessor-hieromonks who confess to the pilgrims, among whom one may be senior and responsible for the common task of confessing the fasting people. In the great, responsible and difficult task of spiritual leadership, the confessor is guided by the Word of God, the wise patristic writings, the rules of the Holy Church and the rules laid down in the Charter of the monastery. In perplexed matters, the Confessor asks the Superior and follows his judgment and will.”

From the Charter of the Holy Trinity Alexander Svirsky Monastery

How to become a spiritual father

The mentor is not just someone walking next to you, he is a sacred servant and must observe the sacrament of repentance and help introduce the moral qualities of the Holy Scriptures. A spiritual father must be able to gently and in an intelligible form explain in what ways life concepts do not correspond to Scripture. The activities of a mentor are much broader. This is when the sacred minister, through the Holy Spirit, comprehends the soul of the student and achieves more through words and deeds, personal example, simplicity and modesty.

When a student sees a true example of spirituality, he will choose him as his father. The mentor must also be aware that the world around is changing and poses new problems not based on principles, but on new content. This applies to the Internet and television.