What is the Orthodox funeral tradition?
The first time the deceased is remembered is on the third day after death, when, according to Orthodox beliefs, the soul ascends to God. The second time, relatives and friends gather for commemoration after nine days, so that the soul, seeing the torment of Hell, repents of its sins and receives hope for mercy and forgiveness. Prayers of relatives on the fortieth day help the soul of the deceased to pass the most important test - the highest court, whose verdict can mean eternal bliss in heaven or endless torment of hell.
Funerals on certain days have been a traditional custom since ancient times. After the burial, having returned from the cemetery and having washed the hands and body, the soul of the deceased is seen off with a wake. The third day is the period when separation from everything earthly and ascension to the heavenly throne occurs. It doesn’t matter where loved ones will gather, whether it’s a home event or an organized meal in a cafe. It is important to remember that a wake is a ritual of mourning for the newly deceased, and therefore should be accompanied by prayer, and not by drinking alcoholic beverages and loud conversations.
The restrained behavior at wakes after funerals and on other days is echoed by the menu. Signs of a feast are not acceptable, but laconic table decoration and a reasonable variety of prepared dishes are appropriate.
Lenten pumpkin salad with arugula, honey and lemon (without oil)
What do you need:
- pumpkin – 0.3 kg;
- arugula – 100 g;
- tofu – 100 g;
- honey – 20 ml;
- lemon juice – 40 ml.
How to cook:
- Cut the pumpkin into small pieces and bake until soft (but not until the pieces lose their shape).
- Chop the arugula and place on a plate.
- Arrange the pumpkin pieces and tofu on the arugula.
- Melt the honey until liquid, mix with lemon juice and pour the resulting mixture over the salad.
A snack made according to this recipe is not only tasty, but also healthy; it will help maintain strength during fasting, especially if a great misfortune happened in your family during this period.
Serving and selection of dishes
Before dwelling on the choice of dishes, you should pay attention to the table setting. Everyone knows about maintaining a mournful and mournful atmosphere. However, some are not aware of the existing rules that it is advisable to follow:
- Dishes intended for holidays and ceremonial receptions are not placed on the funeral table. They eat from those cutlery that are used in everyday life;
- the tablecloth should not have ornaments or colorful inclusions that will distract from thoughts and prayers;
- If you organize a funeral meal with the most complete observance of traditions, then you should do without forks and knives. Our ancestors tried to avoid the use of any piercing objects, which, according to them, could pose a danger to the body of the deceased.
A simple and strict funeral table is one of the requirements for organizing a wake. The menu consists of simple and nutritious dishes that are useful on ordinary days, and during periods of grief will give strength to endure the loss.
Dandelion salad from raw vegetables without oil
What do you need:
- white cabbage – 0.3 kg;
- fresh cucumber – 0.3 kg;
- fresh radish – 150 g;
- green onions – 50 g;
- fresh dill and parsley – 20-30 g each;
- lemon – 1 pc.;
- canned corn - 1 can;
- salt, sugar (optional) - to your taste.
How to cook:
- Finely chop the cabbage.
- After washing and drying, cut the radishes and cucumbers into strips.
- Finely chop the onion, dill and parsley, mix with chopped vegetables.
- Add corn, lemon juice, salt and sugar. Mix well.
A salad made according to this recipe looks touching and optimistic in spring. It can be prepared not only for the funeral table.
What should be on the funeral table
Products for preparation are carefully selected, paying attention to quality and freshness. Familiar, familiar food according to traditional family recipes and a quiet conversation dedicated to the memories of the deceased person - this is what an Orthodox commemoration ideally represents.
If you prepare it yourself, it will not be burdensome to cook borscht, prepare a vegetable salad, or serve boiled potatoes or dumplings with cabbage to commemorate the deceased. On ordinary days, cutlets are suitable as a meat dish. It's hard to imagine a funeral dinner without baked pies. The most common drinks are jelly and compote. In addition to the above food, sliced sausage, cheese, fresh vegetables or fruits can be served at the funeral. They eat industrially processed fish or fried fish at home, and include sandwiches on the menu at the discretion of relatives.
Korean herring with potatoes for lunch
- 1 kg fresh frozen herring
- A glass of tomato juice
- 80 ml (less possible) 9% vinegar
- 120g sunflower oil without aroma
- tablespoon salt
- a teaspoon of sugar, the same amount of ground pepper
- 3-4 onions
Carefully fillet the herring and cut into pieces. Boil the oil with the tomato, remove from the heat, add spices, cool and pour the sauce over the herring. Leave it like this for a day. Boil the potatoes, make a salad or take pickled cucumbers out of a jar, and your Lenten lunch is ready!
For the first step, you can prepare a delicious soup from canned fish - look at the step-by-step recipe with photos, it is very simple and easy, this is on those days when fish is allowed.
What dishes must be prepared after the funeral and for the next wake?
The menu of a funeral dinner, organized in accordance with the canons of the Orthodox faith, must include several dishes. Each of them carries a certain semantic load and is symbolically associated with the movement of the soul of the deceased to a new state.
Kutya for the memorial day is prepared only from whole grains. Most often, a mixture of wheat and rice is taken, soaked for several hours and boiled until the consistency of soft grains. The kutya is flavored with poppy seeds and crushed nuts. The sweetness of spiritual peace in the heavenly kingdom is intended to be demonstrated by the addition of honey and raisins. Resurrection and eternal life are symbolized by the grains in kutya. It matters not only whether the dishes must be present at the funeral table, but also in what order they are served. Kutya is placed on the table first. Each guest taking part in the meal eats a handful of kutia and then continues the meal.
Nuances of cooking kutia
To ensure that the kutia is crumbly, rice (or wheat) is soaked in water for five to seven hours before cooking. Then the rice should be placed on medium heat and cooked until the grains become soft. A few minutes before it’s ready, add honey diluted with water, raisins (well washed), and nuts to the porridge. The finished dish must be taken to a memorial service (to the nearest church) so that the priest can bless the kutya. Let us remind you that the funeral meal begins with this dish. Each invited person should eat a little kutia, and then move on to other dishes - soup, sandwiches.
Drinks on the funeral table menu
The modern way of remembering with alcohol is not only not welcomed by the church, but is also strictly prohibited for people who know about the symbolism of alcohol on the table on the day of the funeral and traditional memorial dates, including six months and the anniversary.
Those who truly want the soul of the deceased to reach heaven at the memorial do not drink alcohol. Any guest, from a close relative to a work friend or housemate, should understand that alcohol aggravates the torment of the soul of the deceased. Our Orthodox ancestors believed that including alcohol in the funeral menu was a wish for the deceased to suffer severe torment on the way to the gates of Heaven. Close people are invited and treated, setting the table with the obligatory funeral dishes and supplementing them with food at their discretion, but pouring vodka or wine will be an impious act.
It is customary to serve berry juice and prepare lemonade according to your favorite recipe. You can use store-bought juice, but homemade compote will be incomparably better. It’s easy to prepare a funeral service using dried fruits. A good housewife always has the necessary ingredients at hand; they can be freely purchased at any time of the year. For a five to seven liter pan use:
- 0.5 kg dried apples;
- 0.5 kg of whole or chopped dried pears;
- 1 glass of sugar, and it is not necessary to make the uzvar sweet.
To prepare, pour water into a saucepan of sufficient volume, put it on the fire, and while the water boils, wash the dried fruits. Place apples and pears in boiling water, and when the uzvar simmers over low heat for about half an hour, you can add sugar. When using honey, you must first cool the liquid to room temperature. The finished uzvar is allowed to brew for several hours.
It should be understood that many healthy non-alcoholic drinks can serve as an alternative to wine and vodka. They are more appropriate in everyday life, and even more so on a mournful occasion with its strict restrictions.
Lenten salad “Generous Cellar”
What do you need:
- sauerkraut – 0.2 kg;
- pickled mushrooms (milk mushrooms or others) – 0.2 kg;
- gherkins – 0.2 kg;
- pickled cherry tomatoes – 0.2 kg;
- fresh herbs (optional) - to taste;
- frozen cranberries (optional) - to taste;
- camelina or other unrefined vegetable oil - to taste.
How to cook:
- Wash the mushrooms and place them in a heap in the center of a large dish.
- Divide the pickled vegetables into 2 parts and place them around the mushrooms in sectors, alternating.
- Sprinkle with frozen berries and chopped herbs, pour over butter and serve.
After your guests have had their fill of the bounty in your cellar, you can mix the ingredients, although this is not necessary.
What to commemorate in Lent
The passing of a loved one can happen during the period of fasting. Relatives cannot cancel their duty both on the ninth and fortieth day after death for the sole reason that ordinary dishes cannot be prepared.
During Lent, the deceased is remembered in accordance with the traditions of Orthodox spiritual culture, but adjustments are made by excluding certain ingredients that are not eaten at this time.
The menu for a memorial lunch during Lent is special. Kutya is prepared without adding butter. Water is added to the pancake batter instead of milk and no eggs are added. The rest of the treats can also be prepared Lenten and a ritual meal can be organized at a decent level.
Main courses should not contain meat, but can be no less tasty if you select the right products and follow the cooking technology. From generation to generation, housewives pass on the recipe for the original Russian Lenten borscht, which, according to Orthodox tradition, is quite appropriate for commemorating the dead. No less popular are cabbage soup with mushrooms, buckwheat and sauerkraut. You can prepare vegetable salads, seasoning them with vegetable oil; serve lean cabbage rolls or stuffed peppers with mushroom sauce or carrot meatballs as a side dish of potatoes. Guests will enjoy cabbage pie, pies stuffed with potatoes, onions and herbs, and fruit slices.
When preparing a menu, the most important rule is to maintain restraint and modesty. Those who plan a luxurious meal with alcoholic drinks do not fully understand the meaning of the commemoration. The deceased needs the prayers and remembrance of loved ones more to ease the transition to the afterlife than a funeral dinner with plenty of food and drink. Maybe that’s why no one is invited for 9 days, but those who come are sure to be seated at the table and treated to food.
Standard dishes for the anniversary of the death of a loved one
- Borsch.
- Mashed potatoes or stewed potatoes with mushrooms.
- Fried fish fillet.
- Pancakes.
- Kissel.
- Chicken cutlets.
Knowing the preferences of the deceased, you can prepare a dish that he especially loved (roast, pies, salad).
All relatives and other close people gather to remember the soul of the deceased. It is believed that properly organized wakes contribute to the comfort of the soul in the next world. If this is your first time being burdened with such sad troubles, you may not know what to prepare at a funeral.
There is a list of dishes that need to be prepared and put on the table. There are also instructions regarding the order of dishes served. All traditions agree on one thing: the table should not be luxurious and bursting with a variety of food and alcohol. Alcoholic drinks should be consumed in moderation.
Features of the mournful table for 9 days
Nine days after death, relatives and friends come themselves; the relatives of the deceased should only be informed when and where, according to Orthodox tradition, everyone can gather to pray for the soul of the deceased.
The menu consists of simple treats that can be prepared at home without taking much time or effort. At uninvited funerals, it is especially not recommended to indulge in gluttony, since the very point is to come without warning, thereby showing that the deceased is remembered. In gratitude, relatives treat guests to whatever is in the house. Modesty is not a sign of poverty. This is how the relatives make it clear to those gathered that the best help for the deceased is prayer, and not a hearty meal.
After traditional prayer in church, a consecrated kutya is brought home for 9 days. Guests are treated to it at the beginning, and only then are they served the dishes that the deceased loved during his lifetime. For hot dishes, you can make borscht, noodles or cabbage soup. The second is replaced with modest snacks, keeping in mind the peculiarity of guests arriving for 9 days without an invitation. As for drinks, unsweetened compote would be the best option.
There should be no alcohol on the table at a wake. The purpose of the meal is somewhat different, and the dishes are prepared more modestly than for a wake on the day of the funeral. Supporting oneself with nourishing food in a moment of grief is replaced by quiet remembrance of the departed person over modest dishes. The food is prepared so that what is left can be divided among those who came at the end of the meal. On this date, no speeches are made, no bad words are said about the deceased, since criticism and negative memories accelerate the movement of his soul towards hell, which begins on the ninth day and reaches a critical point on the fortieth day.
Features of preparing a Lenten lunch
In Orthodoxy there are 4 main fasts, which are observed in different seasons of the year. Individual days that fall on every Friday and Wednesday are also taken into account. Vegetable dishes are prepared for the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, Nomad Day, and the Beheading of John the Baptist. Features of cooking food during different fasts:
- Great. Held in the spring before Easter, lasts 7 weeks. In weeks 1, 4, 7, strict rules apply and any fast food is prohibited. Only the family of the deceased is invited to say goodbye to the deceased at this time. On Wednesday and Friday you are allowed to eat butter. You can try the fish on the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Palm Sunday. On weekends and patron saint holidays, you can cook with butter.
- Petrov. Held in summer, lasts 6-8 weeks. On weekends and holidays you can bake, fry, and boil fish. On Thursday and Friday you are allowed to enjoy butter.
- Uspensky. It is forbidden to eat fast food for 2 weeks at the end of August. Fish is served at the Transfiguration of the Lord.
- Christmas. On weekends and holidays (except Friday and Wednesday), fish is prepared. Oil cannot be used in preparing treats on the 1st, 3rd and 5th day of the week.
How to commemorate on 40 days and anniversaries
Traditionally, the funeral meal forty days after death was the most important. The special responsibility placed on relatives is to support, through remembrance and prayer, the soul of the deceased, which, according to Orthodox canons, will have to learn the decision regarding the place of further eternal residence. On the fortieth day, the soul ends its journey between earth and heaven, and appears before the judgment of God. For the last time on earth, she bids farewell to the mortal world. Kind words spoken in memory of a person, a prayer asking for forgiveness of sins, contributes to the soul of the deceased entering Paradise and eternal bliss. The most important thing that they do is pray, order Divine Liturgies and participate in funeral services. This is done after six months, and then a year after death.
On the forties, guests are gathered at the deceased’s house. Restraint and conciseness are observed in table setting and interior decoration. They remember that wakes cannot be turned into ordinary gatherings with gluttony and alcoholic libations. At funerals they eat:
- obligatory kutya and pancakes. They follow the serving sequence and eat the dishes in the established sequence, remembering their symbolic meaning: the grains will fall into the ground, germinate next year, and this will be the beginning of a new life. Eating pancakes, a semblance of the sun reborn, will give relatives hope for the resurrection of the soul of the deceased;
- After a traditional hot dish, you are supposed to serve meat or fried fish with a side dish in the form of porridge or mashed potatoes. You can add cold appetizers, herring, meat and vegetable cuts to the menu;
- salads at funerals are mostly lean: vinaigrette with beans and mushrooms, cucumbers and tomatoes, cabbage salad, carrots or boiled beets with prunes;
- jelly, compote or uzvar are placed on the table at the beginning of the meal, and at the end of the funeral dinner, oven-baked pies are served, which those present eat and take with them.
The remaining dishes of the funeral meal on fortieth, six months and anniversaries are distributed to neighbors and acquaintances who were not at the funeral.
In the modern world, one can observe how customs are erased and become a thing of the past. However, the Orthodox tradition of commemorating the dead is honored in every family.
Salad “Mushrooms under a fur coat”
What do you need:
- pickled honey mushrooms – 150 g;
- sauerkraut – 150 g;
- boiled potatoes – 0.2 kg;
- boiled carrots – 0.2 kg;
- boiled beets – 0.2 kg;
- lean mayonnaise - how long will it take?
How to cook:
- Rinse the mushrooms and cabbage and let the water drain.
- Combine cabbage with mushrooms and a large spoon of mayonnaise, mix and place on the bottom of the salad bowl in which you usually make the “Herring under a fur coat” salad.
- Grate the boiled vegetables separately, add salt and season. Mix vegetables with mayonnaise and layer on cabbage and mushrooms. Place the potatoes first, carrots second, beets third.
You can decorate the appetizer with sprigs of herbs or pickled mushrooms.
By the way, the “Herring under a Fur Coat” salad itself was initially also prepared without eggs.
Is it possible to drink alcohol?
Despite the fact that vodka is considered a traditional component of the funeral table, the Orthodox Church is categorically against it. After all, prayer, which is the main purpose of the meal, cannot be compatible with being drunk. Orthodox canons also prohibit placing a filled glass with bread near a photograph of the deceased. However, of course, whether to serve wine and vodka to guests or not is up to the hosts to decide.
If for some reason you do not have the opportunity to cook on your own, then you can easily order a funeral service in a cafe, having previously discussed the menu and the design of the hall with the waiters.