What is condemnation? This is a negative assessment of the behavior, appearance or lifestyle of another person through the prism of one’s own concepts of the norm and based on the personal experience of the judge. This concept is closely related to such definitions as “slander” and “gossip”, but it is characterized by comparative conclusions, against the background of which the condemner tries to look better than his “victim”.
What it is?
The conviction of most people that they have the right to their opinion in assessing other people’s lives is based on their confidence in their own infallibility, about which Andre Maurois wrote: “Everyone is sure that others are mistaken when they judge him, and that he himself He is not mistaken when he judges others.” The notorious position of “fair retribution” becomes most noticeable when the condemner himself is in great need of open and public confirmation of his “perfection,” and precisely when he least deserves it.
So what is condemnation of a person? Ideally, this would be considered the sincere intention of one object to point out the erroneous action of another in order to correct the model of its behavior. However, in fact, constant and painful dissatisfaction with one’s own person has become so ingrained in human nature that the need to condemn, strike morally, and humiliate has become akin to the need to rise, and has even taken the form of a synonym for this definition. What is condemnation and how does it help the self-realization of an evil-tongued person?
Condemnation
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you” (Luke 6:37-38). Gospel of Luke.
Condemnation as a personality quality is a tendency to speak negatively about someone or something, to judge, to evaluate others unkindly.
A person attracts into his life what he condemns. Once upon a time there lived a king. He considered it his duty to help everyone who came to him for help. And for this purpose, every morning he himself participated in the distribution of food to the poor. One morning, after helping the poor every day, he went to the stables. There he became very angry with his servants, because... his favorite horse fell ill. And at this time one sage came to the court. He came to ask for some food, but did not find the king there. They told him: “The king is not far away, he is in the stable.” And the sage went to the stable. He found the king there, upset and angry. The king asked with irritation: “Why did you come?” - I came to ask you for food! - said the sage. The king became even more angry, he began to shout: “Why didn’t you come when I was distributing food to the poor in the morning?!” “I didn’t know about it,” the sage answered calmly. - I have office hours! - the king continued to shout. - You could have come at the appointed time! To which the sage answered absolutely calmly: “Don’t worry, please!” I'm leaving, forget about me! But the king began to get even angrier: “What kind of people are you?!” I have other responsibilities. I’m also a living person, for some reason no one takes this into account. What, after all, did they need?! “The only thing I wanted was some food.” But I don’t need anything from you anymore. And the sage went to the exit. This infuriated the king even more. He shouted: “Did you want food?!” So get it! “With these words, he grabbed a lump of horse dung and threw it after the departing sage. He took this lump, thanked the king with dignity and calmly left. And the king had a dream at night. In a dream, he saw a sage and a huge pile of dung. And he dreams that he asks the sage: “What does it mean that you appear in my dream with this huge pile of manure?” — Have you heard that if someone gives something freely, then it comes back a hundredfold? And when it is sent to a saint, it is returned to the sender a thousand times more. So now this pile of manure is yours! And you must eat it. - Like mine?! And why should I eat manure?! - Yesterday, when I asked you for help, I needed food. And you gave it to me in the form of a lump of dung. And now it's returned to you in the form of a big pile. This is the law of Karma. - My God! What have I done?! “The king clutched his head in horror. The sage continued: “I cannot abolish the law of Karma.” Remember, yesterday I tried to help you - I wanted to leave, but you began to get irritated, scream and threw it at me. I can't undo what has already happened, but I will give you a hint. Make yourself criticized, condemned and scolded. Then those who do this will share this manure with you. When someone criticizes us, rejoice and thank the critic - he eats our manure! This is the dream the king saw. When he woke up, he thought for a long time about what he saw in his dream. Then he took a bottle of vodka, lit a cigar and went to Town Hall Square, where he caused a scandal in full view of the public, got into a fight with someone, and then walked around the square with a prostitute on his arm. Thus, he first brought his subjects into a state of shock, and then into extreme indignation. They began to point their fingers at the king, spit in his wake, laugh and mock him. And that's all he needed. In the evening, tired, but pleased with himself, the king went to bed in the hope of seeing the continuation of yesterday's dream and talking with the sage. And he saw it, but, unfortunately, the pile of manure did not disappear, although it decreased significantly. - How so! - the king shouted. “You said it would work.” “The whole point is,” answered the sage, “that there was a man on Town Hall Square who did not condemn or criticize you.” - My God! What should I do? I am a king, and according to my status, I am not supposed to eat manure. I might even get poisoned if I eat this. - Okay, I’m ready to help you again. I'll give you this man's address. You can find him. And then do as you want. The king changed his clothes, made himself up beyond recognition and went to this man. And when he found it, he asked: “You probably know what happened in our city yesterday.” What do you think about it? — What unusual happened yesterday? – this man answered the question with a question. - Well, of course! Our king did this! - I heard and saw. But there's nothing wrong with that. Our king was just tired, and he needed some kind of relaxation. - Well, how can that be! - says the king. - This is a complete disgrace. His behavior undermines the moral foundations of society. There were also children in the square. No, this cannot be ignored! I propose to create an opposition and I want you to lead it. I have money, I can take on the financing of the opposition movement. - No, I don’t play such games! I see absolutely nothing wrong with what happened yesterday. The king was a hot-tempered person from birth, and he couldn’t resist this time either: “It’s because of people like you that morals are falling!” Society will be completely corrupted! How will we continue to live?! To such words, this man, looking quite calmly into the eyes of the disguised king, said: “Your Majesty!” Eat your own manure!
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I am free from condemnation,” I recommend making this statement a systemic program of the subconscious. Let's thoroughly discuss and judge what is hidden behind the condemnation.
First of all, behind condemnation lies pride -
one of the gravest sins. “Even if we had not committed any sin, then this sin alone (condemnation) could bring us to hell,” says St. John Chrysostom - “Whoever strictly investigates the misdeeds of others will not receive any leniency towards his own...”
We want to be loved and accepted unconditionally: without a mask, for who we really are. However, we don’t really want to love and accept other people as they are. No judge can compete with the number of sentences passed per day. Only the Cheka could compete with us. We condemn the government, officials, politicians, friends, acquaintances, our loved ones and, finally, ourselves.
Condemnation is a voluntary concession of power over oneself in favor of the person being condemned.
By condemning the government, people or circumstances, we thereby sign that they have power over our thoughts, feelings and emotions.
By exploiting our feelings, external factors take us captive. For example, we are not satisfied with someone’s behavior; it does not fit into our moral values, moral principles and ideas. We cannot be responsible for the behavior of others, but only we are fully responsible for our reaction to their behavior
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We have the power to make a choice: to “jump out of our pants”, foaming at the mouth, proving people or circumstances wrong, or to remain calm and balanced. By judging others, we acquire the status of a victim. With our condemnation, we create excess potential, evoke equilibrium forces that “educate” us and establish balance. The outburst of negative emotions associated with condemnation feeds the eternally hungry pendulums with its energy. By attaching a postage stamp to the condemnation, we send our health and vitality to the condemned. In other words, condemnation is the voluntary transfer of power over oneself to the subject of condemnation.
We judge in others what we do not accept in ourselves.
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For example, in your manifested form you are a decent woman and a wonderful wife. You are proud of it and encourage this side of your personality. But this does not mean at all that the opposite side is missing in you - a depraved woman. You do not accept this side of your personality, you reject and condemn it. You project your condemnation into the outside world, condemning debauchery, prostitution, etc. A decent woman condemns a depraved woman, while feeling fear. The depraved woman in you feels guilty from being judged, but she, in turn, condemns the decent woman in you, trying to make her feel guilty. This confrontation of opposites occurs constantly. Condemnation is the fear of one’s hidden, unexpressed side of one’s personality.
How do you think the subject of discussion, for example, a wife or husband, feels? They feel bad, physically damaged and humiliated, as if they are being raped. There is a feeling of a player who has lost a large sum. They experience a feeling of internal bombardment of the soul and mind. A defensive reaction arises and a desire to attack your “judge”. A completely expected and understandable reaction: who would like condemnation? Having begun to condemn a person, we, what to hide, are launching a program of his destruction
. By retaliating at the energetic level, he returns to us our “gift” in the form of troubles and illnesses. Pay attention to this circumstance: the higher a person’s vitality and energy level, the more dangerous his condemnation. This danger applies, first of all, to himself. When you condemn any organizational structure of people (party, nation, state), a powerful energetic response affects not only you, but also your children. When a person condemns life as such, his children are doomed. Parents' condemnation of life and humanity is reflected in children. The death of children is a consequence of parents’ condemnation of the world order. Condemnation acts insinuatingly, in an imperceptible, cumulative form, and therefore leads to serious illnesses. Most often it is oncology.
When you judge others, you judge yourself. Nothing destroys a person more than the condemnation of others. Breaking a person's individuality with judgment is the worst manifestation of negative behavior.
And what does the “prosecutor and judge” experience in one person? Their sense of self-importance grows. From the feeling of being right comes a feeling of superiority. Some enjoy the power and authority that falls on them at the moment of condemnation. Meanwhile, a feeling of tension and stiffness appears in the body. The judgmental thought becomes dominant in comparison with the others. In a word, the same state as under stress.
As we see, both sides suffer from condemnation in one form or another. This is because judgment causes imbalance
in the universe and is therefore subject to the influence of equilibrium forces. For example, you have an ideal image of your wife in your subconscious (100%). You got married half asleep, swearing eternal love. But, as A. Pushkin said: “We know: eternal love lasts barely three weeks.” When you woke up, you saw that Schmuck running around your apartment was barely 10%. “Where were my eyes?” - you exclaim. Your request potential and cruel reality do not coincide by 90%. You begin to condemn this, in your opinion, absurd creature and create excess potential (90%) around you. Everything is fair: no matter how bad the wife is, the husband should be so good. Since you are still a wingless angel, the balancing forces of the universe will do everything to eliminate the imbalance. All you have to do is either get a divorce or reduce the potential tension. Maybe over time, you will take a closer look at your wife and think: “Yes, sort of, and not really a Schmuck. I’m starting to like some things about her.” She will feel a change in attitude towards herself. A turnaround for the better has begun. The imbalance will disappear.
Condemnation is always associated with the emission of negative energy
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If you judge a person for his manners or gait, then on an energetic level you become inferior
to him. He walks, clumsily, and at the same time hums a joyful song: “How good I am and my song,” that is, he radiates positive energy. And you have become a relay of negative energy. So who is “better and worse”, who is “good and bad”?
The desire to evaluate everything within the framework of “good or bad,” truth-seeking, the desire to always be right has made condemnation our habit.
Out of habit, we have turned into accusers. After the topic of weather and disease, the topic of “condemnation” takes first place. We are even capable of condemning our pets if their behavior does not fit into the framework of our ideas. Since judgment is a habit, it means that it can be replaced with another, but positive habit.
Whatever one may say, condemnation is the other side of self-importance
. Suppressed fear of our inner essence prompts us to judge. If you judge yourself, you cannot help but judge others and vice versa. A thief who takes his craft with a light heart does not judge other thieves. He may be jealous, but not judge. If he steals and condemns himself for it, he will also condemn other thieves. The principle applies: do not judge others for what you do yourself.
A person is afraid of condemning people because he himself condemns them
. At the same time, we condemn the illusory image created in our subconscious. If a person is dishonest, he sees the world as a bunch of swindlers, swindlers and crooks. When a person turns into a piggy bank of irritation when he meets his distant relative, he can easily judge him for his irritation. A distant relative will be extremely surprised by this perception of his good-natured personality. In short, we see what we want to see. For example, do you think your aquarium fish are just staring at you blankly? No - they are condemningly silent. If you go outside and see gloomy, irritated passers-by, stop or go back. Restore your good mood and continue on your way. Everyone can restore a positive attitude on their own using their favorite method. This is a separate topic for discussion.
This parable will tell about the illusory nature of our perception and the far-fetchedness of the reasons for condemnation: One married couple moved to live in a new apartment. In the morning, as soon as she woke up, the wife looked out the window and saw a neighbor who was hanging out washed clothes to dry. “Look at how dirty her laundry is,” she told her husband. But he was reading the newspaper and did not pay any attention to it. “She probably has bad soap, or she doesn’t know how to do laundry at all.” We should teach her. And so, every time the neighbor hung out the laundry, the wife was surprised at how dirty it was. One fine morning, looking out the window, she cried out: “Oh!” Today the laundry is clean! Probably learned how to do laundry! “No,” said the husband, “I just got up early today and washed the window.”
Condemnation of others may generally be groundless. An excellent example of this is the case described: One woman was sitting at the airport waiting to board her plane. Since there were still a few hours left before boarding, she bought a bag of cookies and settled into a soft chair in the waiting room, took out a book and began to read. She was reading the book with interest, and suddenly noticed that the man sitting next to her was taking cookies from her bag, without asking. This made her tense, she pretended not to notice, as if nothing had happened. She read, ate cookies and periodically looked at her watch while waiting to board the plane, and the “thief” sitting next to her brazenly emptied the bag of cookies. The woman became more and more indignant within herself. She just wanted to punch him in the face for such impudence. She took cookies from the bag, and he took cookies from the bag. When the last cookies were left in the bag, she wondered what he would do. Without any twinge of conscience, he took the cookie, smiled, broke it in half and handed the half to her. The woman, abruptly pulling her other half out of his hand, thought what a rude and impudent man. Never in her life had she felt such indignation and rage. When boarding was announced, she stood up from her seat and headed towards the terminal, not even wanting to look in his direction. She entered the plane and sat down in her seat, she opened her bag to take out a book that she had almost finished reading. And then she saw something that shocked her. She just froze and looked at the sealed bag of cookies that was in her bag. This meant that all this time, she was eating his cookies and he was sharing them with her. The woman realized that she turned out to be a rude person, a thief and an ungrateful person.
Many people believe that it is impossible to live in our society without condemnation. What if you consciously throw condemnation into the trash, replacing it with preference.
This concept is completely positive. Preference is a greater liking for one thing than another. This is a favorable attitude towards something. It is a predisposition towards something or someone. In a word, you say a word, and your soul rejoices. There is no danger in the word "preference". “I prefer to travel by train and it’s okay if I don’t fly by plane,” there is only calmness and lack of significance in this phrase. Previously, you would have said condemningly: “An airplane is a dangerous form of transport!” Now you say: “I prefer the train to the plane.” What are the differences between the two approaches? There are always two (or more) views in preference. In this example, a train and an airplane. We can compare. In condemnation we deal only with what we condemn. In this example, the object of condemnation was the airplane. We cannot compare. Which do you prefer? “I won’t eat your stupid borscht in this heat” or “I prefer okroshka to borscht.” “I can’t stand this Vasya” or “I prefer to date Kolya rather than Vasya.” It is much more pleasant to hear the second answer. As we can see, preference has more reason to become a reliable basis for resolving problems in cases where you have a difference of opinion with other people.
The girl was traveling on the train. A butterfly was beating against the window - it was flying into the sun, the window was closed, it was already completely exhausted, and the people sitting next to it were absolutely indifferent to its torment. The girl watched and became more and more nervous, in the end she could not stand it and caught this exhausted butterfly. When the train stopped at the next station, she let her out the window. The butterfly fluttered uncertainly in her palm, spread its wings and flew away. She sighed with relief. But then all day long I remembered these indifferent people with anger and condemned them (to myself). In the evening I returned to the dacha, brought a bag of groceries into the summer kitchen and plopped it on the floor. I didn’t see that exactly the same butterfly was sitting on the floor - the girl killed it. I discovered it the next day when I picked up the package. Moral: don't judge! Otherwise, circumstances will force you to commit exactly the same sin.
Petr Kovalev Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/
Why should people try on the role of God?
Every day, consciously or not, every person takes on the role of a judge from the Higher Mind, acting as an accuser on a countless number of issues that do not concern him at all. Trying to eradicate this trait in yourself is completely useless, since it is the dark side of every rational being. But being too carried away by looking for specks in someone else’s eye, it would be nice to remember the words of T. Solovyova that “only those who have not had a hint of success in their lives undertake to judge a loser.”
What is condemnation? This is a verdict made taking into account one's own view of justice. And justice, like its framework and main tags, is different for each person, albeit with some common features, but convenient for him personally. Can these specific values be applied to someone else? Of course not. But a person does this, almost losing control of his sense of proportion and not noticing that the negativity projected towards his opponent has long been his personal outlook on life.
Convict, stand up!
The very word “conviction” refers to the metaphor of a court, when there is a defendant, a prosecutor, a lawyer and a judge who pronounces a sentence. After all, condemnation is born precisely from within the logic of legal thinking, when there is a law and its violation, there is “right” and “wrong.” And then the one who does not comply with the law is a transgressor and is judged. Legalism as a way of thinking, as an element of a worldview, as a way of treating ourselves and others is deeply rooted in our consciousness. From childhood, a child masters systems of norms and rules, learns what is good and what is bad. An adult, guided by principles, incl. moral, ethical, has one or another evaluation system on which it relies - this is the normal course of things.
But it is precisely the legalism of thinking that makes condemnation possible: I know what is right, I follow the “law”, but you don’t, therefore, I am good and you are bad. A striking example is the phenomenon of Pharisaism.
Causes of Judgmentalism
The motive for condemning the actions of another person may have nothing to do with his behavior, and in general, only indirectly relate to the object. Often the opponent is chosen almost by random selection, and the direct reason for the slander lies in the low self-esteem of the judge, who thus decided to compensate for his grievances by belittling the chosen “victim”.
Other reasons for putting someone else’s life on public display may include:
- outdated concepts and values (for example, the unacceptability of couples cohabiting before marriage);
- lack of objectivity and narrow view of various circumstances;
- envy, which pushes to belittle other people's merits;
- a method of manipulating someone else’s opinion (imputing a person’s feelings of guilt or responsibility);
- denial of one's shortcomings through emphasizing and exaggerating the shortcomings of another person.
And finally, a common reason for censure and condemnation is considered to be banal boredom and the lack of other topics for conversation. Basically, the manner of communicating through hidden condemnation (in the form of sympathy) is inherent in the fairer sex.
Church's point of view
What is condemnation in Orthodoxy? The Church treats such a vice as slander towards one’s neighbor very strictly, reasonably believing that the desire to condemn another person hides one of the most serious mortal sins - pride. A condemning person cannot remain impartial; he is also incapable of humility, which is obligatory for a Christian.
In the words known to every adult, “Judge not, lest ye be judged!” contains the whole essence of the Orthodox view on the controversial issue. Man is by nature prone to idealization, but this state is dangerous due to the presence of a shadow side. It is impossible to point out someone's perfection without highlighting someone's shortcomings, and the comparison occurs at a reflexive level. The mother praises her child, implying that other children are less gifted and obedient; the husband admires his thrifty wife, condemning his less troublesome neighbor.
The Church teaches: every person must first of all take care of himself and his actions. No one is so blameless that they do not cast shadows, but if everyone thinks to himself that he is worthy of forgiveness, then it would be normal to apply the same attitude towards others.
A person is not equal to his actions
Firstly, voluntarily or involuntarily, a child copies the behavior of his parents and, if he sees condemnation of others in the family, hears from adults how they discuss and condemn their acquaintances, then he automatically adopts this as the norm, as a usual way of talking about someone who he doesn't like something.
Therefore, parents, first of all, must take care of themselves. After all, such things as family scenarios, parental behavior patterns, their relationships to other people, to the world around them are also inherited. The habit of condemning is one of the phenomena in this series.
Taking care of yourself is the right thing, but not easy. You can start by trying to monitor your speech (for starters, even if only in front of children), at least at the level of external manifestations, not to broadcast your condemnation, which lives in the heart.
Secondly, parents sometimes, often without knowing it themselves, instill in their child the very logic of jurisprudence. For example, when they compare their child with other children, thinking that this is a good educational technique. Moreover, they can compare both not in favor of their baby, which is especially traumatic for the child, and, on the contrary, praising him in comparison with other children. The mother of one of my clients told her as a child: “You are so ugly, fat, not at all like other girls, like, for example, Lenochka, your friend is such a beauty.” It is clear that such things cannot be said to a child in principle, because he learns that as he is, he is terrible and unloved, he must be different in order to be loved, but he has no idea how to do this.
There are easier versions: “You got a C again, are you stupid? Look how your friends are studying, and who are you like, stupid!” At this moment, the parent may have the best intentions: to use friends as an example in order to shame the child and thus stimulate him to study better. (By the way, shame is one of the worst motivations, but this is a topic for another discussion).
But, in addition to the fact that the child, again, feels that he is bad, he also learns the very way of thinking, in which the value of a person is measured by his deeds (school grades, for example), that is, a person and an action are equated. “Got a bad grade” equals “you’re stupid.” A similar thing happens when they want to praise, support, encourage a child and for this they compare him with others, for example, like this: “You are so smart, you brought an A again, not like your friend Vasya, such a stupid boy.”
This may be pleasant for the child and, quite possibly, such motivation will be effective. But what model of thinking about himself and about others does he adopt? A person’s value is equal to his achievements (I am good, he is bad, depending on grades at school). You have to be better than others. It's normal to compare yourself to others and thereby gain a pleasant feeling of importance.
Marina Filonik, psychotherapist, researcher at the Federal Institute for Educational Development
Photo from co-experiencing.org
Condemnation and reproof - is there a difference?
What is moral condemnation if not a statement of the fact of someone else's imperfection? In the origin of accusatory morality, despite the fact that outwardly these concepts seem similar, one should look for other motives. The accuser does not seek to “work for the public,” since his goal is to correct the person, and not to expose him in an unsightly manner.
The Gospel of Matthew quotes the words of Jesus, which quite fully reveal the meaning and delicacy of such a step as reproof: “If your brother sins, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone...” Reproof should benefit the sinner and in no case serve to exalt the lover of truth. . In some cases, especially if the accuser feels anger or hostility towards his opponent, it is better to refrain from intelligible speech.
It is dangerous to act as an accuser to someone who himself leads an immoral lifestyle and is subject to petty passions. Even a vain layman armed with good intentions runs the risk of descending into condemnation in his denunciations, inflicting a spiritual wound on the sinner and becoming even more hardened himself.
Love me black (if you can’t, don’t judge me)
How to support your baby, how to praise him? And how to scold and punish? The separation of person and action is very important. Comparing different children is much worse than comparing their different manifestations. But it's even better to compare your child's achievements in the past with his achievements now. For example: “How great, look, before you couldn’t clean the bed so neatly, but now it comes out so beautifully, not a single wrinkle.” Here the action is evaluated, not the child, and the action is also praised, not the person, which becomes a prevention of the development of conceit and unhealthy pride in the child.
It’s also important to talk about your feelings instead of judging a person, for example, say: “I’m upset that you got a bad mark, let’s think about what we can do to make you do better,” and not: “how hopeless you are.” C student! Offering help is also important so that the child does not find himself alone with his problem, which he himself may not know how to fix.
Try saying the above (and below) phrases to yourself and feel the difference - what it would be like for you to hear one or another of the lines described in this article.
Condemnation is only one form of compensation for the lack of a sense of value and self-acceptance. If a person has a hunger for love and acceptance, he can try to satisfy it with a variety of surrogates: promiscuous sexual relationships, boasting and vanity, an endless race for achievements (workaholism), etc. - and all this in order to feel their value and significance, which were not formed in childhood. What's the matter? - some parents will be indignant, - after all, we love our children so much! It is very important that the child feels that he is loved regardless of his actions and behavior.
There is a wonderful formula from the founder of humanistic psychotherapy, Carl Rogers: “I love you, but what you do upsets me.” It is important to tell your child more often: “we love you”, “how good it is that you are who you are”, “we were waiting for you and wanted you”, etc. That is, to give confirmation that he is valuable, important, loved simply because he exists, regardless of his deeds and achievements. And when you want to express criticism, do not forget about the beginning of Rogers’ formula - the prefix “I love you.” This is important in any relationship, not only with children, but also with spouses, friends, and loved ones. And this can also help to grow out of the habit of judging. Because if I know in my gut that I am loved, that I am good, then the achievements of others will not cause me to be inappropriately competitive, angry, or, conversely, depressed.
Conviction as legal liability
What is a conviction from a legal point of view? This is retribution to a person for his misconduct, issued in court and in accordance with the legislation of the country of residence of the defendant. The fact of imposing punitive measures against a convicted person indicates proof of his guilt in full or in part.
A convicted person, depending on the preventive measures chosen by the court, may temporarily lose the rights to freedom of movement, leaving their country, and conducting their previous activities. In special cases, provision is made for the confiscation of property owned by him, the deprivation of parental rights or any privileges assigned previously (allowances, benefits, etc.).
Conditional sentence
What a conditional sentence is is still a matter of debate among legal scholars. Thus, some lawyers consider punishment left without actual execution to be a method of preventive influence on the object, while others see a measure of a criminal legal nature as a real threat to human well-being. The last point affects mainly the moral and ethical side of the life of the person being punished.
A conditionally convicted person is obliged to regularly provide information about himself to the executive inspection bodies; he cannot leave the country or change his place of residence without special permission. In addition, when making a decision in court, a convicted person is subject to a number of responsibilities designed to serve the correction of the offender, as well as to limit his stay in places where it could cause harm to others (or someone specifically).
What is condemnation in social studies
In a science such as social science, much attention is paid to the concept of social control, which can also be called the regulation of an individual’s position in his group. The public always reacts sensitively to manifestations of deviant (distorted) behavior of individuals. Depending on the area in which a violation of social norms is detected, society, through existing control mechanisms, takes appropriate measures to eliminate factors of failure.
Sociologists call the following forms of manifestation of social control:
- Internal - a person controls his own actions, taking as a model the norms of behavior accepted in his society. In this case, the individual’s conscience is considered an indicator of control.
- External - control is carried out by the public, using such levers of moral or legal condemnation as publicity, reprimand, court decision or complete (partial) isolation of the individual from social life.
It has been proven that the lower a person’s sense of self-control is developed, the more likely it is that he will have to face the harsh influence of public control institutions (court, attention of supervisory authorities, compulsory treatment, etc.).
How to get rid of the manner of judging everyone
If we explain in simple words what moral condemnation is, it turns out that this is criticism of a derogatory nature, coming from a person with one goal - to put the opponent in an unsightly light. When blaming, a person cannot be objective, because the assessment he makes of the behavior of the “victim” comes from a set of his own values, which no longer allows him to treat the issue impartially.
The habit of judging everything around looks very ugly from the outside. If a person understands his shortcoming and seeks to get rid of it, he needs to learn to control his thoughts and realize the common truths:
- mistakes made shape a person’s experience, therefore they form an obligatory part of every person’s life;
- Before you condemn the behavior or appearance of another person, you should look at the situation through his eyes and from the top of his experience - perhaps he could not have acted differently;
- stereotypical thinking is a serious obstacle to understanding the motives of other people;
- the habit of condemning, like envying, is born from idleness, therefore the main recipe for self-improvement lies in constant employment;
- the one who judges should always remember that he, too, can become the object of unflattering comments, especially from his former “victims”.
The need to see flaws in other people often stems from one’s own low self-esteem, so without adjusting one’s own behavior one cannot get rid of the habit.
Condemnation is a way of self-affirmation at the expense of another
Juridical thinking is formed in us from childhood. A person who judges others usually has a very serious deficit in self-acceptance and self-worth. The roots of this deficit usually lie in childhood, when parents did not give the child enough feeling that he is valuable, important, needed, loved simply because he exists, and not because he now behaves well, gets straight A’s, etc. And then, to compensate for this deficit, he needs to “gain” his value in any way. One of them is condemnation of the other. After all, if the other person is “such a fool,” I, a priori, against this background, “will be smarter.”
The opposite is also true - one who accepts himself, who has a basic sense of his own worth, regardless of what he does or does not do, such a person turns out to be quite internally free, he does not need to seek confirmation of his own importance, goodness by judging others. That is, in principle, such a need does not arise; he does not need to exalt himself over someone, to assert himself.
As a rule, a basic sense of self-worth is established very early, but this does not mean that nothing can be changed later in life. It also happens the other way around, when stability, the ability to rely on oneself, along with the ability to accept oneself, can be shaken in an adult as a result of strong traumatic experiences.
So, condemnation provides a very important benefit - the feeling that I am better than others, that I am not like them, this is a kind of way of self-affirmation. But there are other ways to do this, so why do we so often resort to condemnation? Most often, this habit is formed in childhood and, oddly enough, not without the help of parents.
A simple story with a moral
So what is condemnation? In conclusion, we may recall an old story, often used in the sermons of moralists, about a certain family who moved to a new house. The woman, who was a wife and mother in this family, was known as a good housewife and did not miss an opportunity to boast of her ability to manage household chores.
And so, the heroine of the story began to notice that the woman from the house opposite every day hangs clothes on drying lines, all speckled with dirty spots. Every time this happened, the evil-tongued wife called her husband to the window and told him that their neighbor was a completely unfit housewife, unlike her, who was so attentive and caring.
This went on for a week, until one morning the gossiper saw the neighbor hanging out the laundry again, only this time it was white, like fresh snow. Surprised, she called her husband again and shared this news with him. What did he answer? That, tired of his wife’s eternal injustice, he simply got up early that day and cleaned the dirty window through which the grumpy housewife looked into the neighbor’s yard.
I would like to sum up today’s topic with the words of William Shakespeare: “You are so eager to judge the sins of others, start with your own and you will not reach others!” If all people, before condemning and making public the shortcomings of their neighbor, first thought about their own shortcomings, there would be much less negativity and reasons for discord in the world.
City versus village
Regarding the question of the connection between the tendency to judge in society and the level of its culture, I can note the following. There are two types of social relations, let’s call them urban and rural. They are very different. A village or hamlet is a community where everyone is closely acquainted, people interact closely and therefore believe that they are involved in the life of their neighbors, have the right to participate in it, to evaluate it. That is why judgment is a problem that is more characteristic of the rural mentality.
Everything is different in the city: a lot of people, a fast pace of life, a lot of events. People sometimes live across the wall in apartment buildings and don’t know their neighbor’s name. During the twentieth century, the Soviet government carried out reforms to resettle rural residents to cities. This issue was resolved on a large scale; the urban population grew rapidly due to those who moved from villages. I read in specialized literature that the demographic situation changed in a fairly short time: in 1918, in the USSR, 85% of the country was rural, by 1991 85% was urban.
People moved from the village to the city, they lost their culture, but did not develop a new one in urban conditions. That’s why we have so many problems now—ideological, cultural, and demographic. The fact is that the new way of life is not being formed as quickly as we would like; it takes centuries, not years. As a result, we experienced a transformation of cultural relations, due to which condemnation became the norm for our society - which is not the case in European society, for example.
The spread of condemnation these days is facilitated by the general level of dissatisfaction in society and a large number of everyday and financial problems. However, churchgoers should not judge. Our task is to justify everyone. In our society there is someone to judge: the police, the security service, the courts, and so on. The mission of Christians is to forgive. I recall a pre-revolutionary case when a priest who violated the law was tried by a jury. His famous lawyer said in his last word: “This priest has forgiven us our sins all our lives. Let us also forgive his only sin!” As a result, the jury acquitted the priest. We have a lot to learn from this example. We must learn to forgive - even those whom we don’t want to. Our only Righteous Judge is the Lord, and there is no need to appropriate His functions to ourselves.
Recorded by Ekaterina Shcherbakova
