" and " ", we wrote in previous articles, today we’ll talk about the etymology of the expression “Are you holding a candle?” This phrase is usually said when someone shows surprising awareness of someone else's personal life. Where did the expression hold a candle come from?
Several variants of the origin of this catchphrase have reached our time, some of them are quite plausible and have a right to exist. I offer for your consideration the most plausible options.
Version 1
Once upon a time there was a tradition of spying on newlyweds on their wedding night, holding a candle in their hands, to make sure that everything went well. It was formed due to the fact that in some societies the statement that there was no physical contact between the spouses made it possible to recognize the marriage as invalid. And in a number of countries, the childlessness of a couple is still a significant reason for divorce. Therefore, a special ritual of “witnessing” a marriage was formed - the presence of a third party “with a candle” at the first fulfillment of marital duty. The candle was held in order to prevent any forgery and deception. This is where the connection between witnessing carnal love and the expression “held a candle” came from.
Version 2
The famous engraving by the 18th century Italian artist A. Caracci, “Messalina in Liciski’s Closet,” depicts a love scene in an ancient Roman brothel. A third character bent over the bed on which the lovers are having fun, illuminating all this action with a candle. This is the owner of the brothel; she does not take part in this action, and we do not understand the urgent need for her. But it is extremely clear that she is the most knowledgeable person about other people’s intimate relationships. Which makes the phrase “held a candle” very logical and understandable.
The French called this painting “Holding a Candle.” This phrase spread among the people with the connotation of “seeing an intimate secret with one’s own eyes,” and this is how it is used today.
This picture is presented here only as a fragment due to excessive frankness.
Version 3
There is another version of the origin of this phraseological unit. The reason for the emergence of the catchphrase was an anecdote about a lord, which was once very popular.
The lord still could not satisfy his wife. At the moment of failed attempts, so as not to be in the dark, a servant with a candle stood nearby. The angry and tortured lord, succumbing to his wife’s persuasion, ordered a servant to replace him on the marital bed, while holding the candle himself. After the servant’s colossal success, in order to maintain the remnants of his dignity, the lord said: “Now you understand how to hold a candle?”
Very often, when people don’t know the answer to a question, they say: “I don’t know!” I didn’t hold a candle.” This phrase about “holding a candle” is not uncommon in our everyday life. The expression “holding a candle” has a fairly simple explanation, and means being an eyewitness to certain things, most often related to the personal life of the person in question. But why a candle? Why not another object, why don’t we simply say: “How do I know?! I didn’t witness these events, did I?” Let's try to figure out what the phrase “held a candle” means and where did this phrase come from?
There are several options for the origin of the expression. And all the options are not bad.
Russian interpretation of the expression about holding a candle
Some people believe that the expression “hold a candle” first began to be used in Rus'. They explain it this way. In those days, the primary task of the family was related to the birth of children, the continuation of the family line. That is why the life of young spouses must be as truthful as possible; the young couple should not have any secrets from their relatives. In addition, relatives considered it their business to make sure that the newlyweds were engaged in this matter. That’s why one of the relatives stood guard near the door to the bedroom and watched through the lock slot, holding a candle to better see what was happening. Having made sure that the husband and wife were not slacking and everything was fine with them, the spy immediately hurried to notify other relatives not to worry, and heirs would soon be born.
Master and servant
It is interesting that the expression “Hold a candle” is associated not only with the traditions of the first wedding night in Rus'. Since people simply had no other lighting for many centuries, many nobles forced their servants and lackeys to stand near their beds with candles. The reason is clear: try unlacing your corset in the dark.
Not wanting to go to bed by touch, the master and his wife ordered the yard man or woman to shine for them at the bedside. Some, not shy nobles could have sex at the same time. In fact, they did not consider a serf servant to be a person. After the owners were safely asleep, the footman could leave his post.
You may ask: why was a person necessary? Can't you just place a candle at the head of your bed? The answer is simple: it is dangerous to fall asleep with a lit candle; if you do not blow it out before going to bed, a fire may occur. Afraid of slipping into sleep with an open source of fire at their pillow, many nobles trusted the right to stand with a candle at their bedside only to trusted servants. Such a lackey, of course, was well aware of all the details of the personal life of the owners.
A similar practice existed in Western European countries. At one time, there was a popular joke about an English lord who could not satisfy his wife. Then he allowed the servant, who was holding a candle at the bedside, to replace himself on the wedding bed. And he stood up with a candle. After the servant completed the task, the lord edifyingly told him: “Well, do you now understand how to hold a candle?”
French origin of the phrase
Another version of the origin of the expression “held a candle” has French roots. The French have an interesting phrase that has the same translation: “I didn’t hold a candle there!” Used it as an answer to questions about someone's personal life. Usually this was the answer to those who were very interested in this and had the habit of collecting various gossip.
In French the phrase sounds like this: Que voulez-vous! Je n'y ai pas tenu la chandelle.
It can be assumed that the expression gained popularity due to an engraving by an artist from Italy - Agostino Caracci. The engraving depicts lovers having sex, and next to them is a girl who holds a candle above them in order to illuminate the room so that the guy and the girl have enough light to see each other. The work became so popular in France that the French gave the engraving a new popular name.
And it sounded like this:
Tenir la chandelle, which means “holding a candle” or “holding a candle” (about the woman in the engraving).
First wedding night in Rus'
Let's start with the fact that in different countries there are very bizarre traditions associated with the first wedding night. For example, in some African tribes, the groom, in a fit of passion, knocks out the bride's two front teeth. In Mexico, newlyweds, on the contrary, abstain from sex for several days after marriage. Our ancestors also attached great importance to the emergence of intimate relationships between newlyweds. In Ancient Rus', a wedding was a strictly regulated ritual event from beginning to end. Of course, the wedding night is no exception.
In Rus', a special marriage bed was prepared for the newlyweds, placing various ritual objects and amulets under it, which were supposed to protect the new family from the evil eye and damage, as well as ensure prosperity and healthy offspring. Such items included: a poker, a juniper twig, a log, a sheaf of rye, and a bag of flour. The marriage bed was high; the more feather beds, the better.
Everyone, relatives and friends, escorted the newlyweds to the bedroom. The tipsy guests had to behave as cheerfully as possible. They sang obscene ditties, joked, and gave the newlyweds obscene advice. The purpose of this whole event was noble: people wanted to help the bride and groom, often inexperienced in this matter, to relax, tune in to the right wave, and overcome natural embarrassment.
The groom's friend had to hit the wedding bed several times with a whip to drive away all evil spirits from there. Then the young people entered into an intimate relationship. However, they were not left alone. The groom's older relatives - father or brother - literally spied on the intercourse, holding candles in their hands, since there was simply no other lighting in those days.
Anecdotal origin of the expression "hold a candle"
There is another version of the origin of the phrase about holding a candle. Has a connection with a famous anecdote from the Middle Ages. It sounds like this.
There was a lord and he had a very insatiable wife. And the lord could not satisfy her. In bed matters, everything was unsuccessful, no matter how hard the lord tried and what he did. He even placed a servant nearby to arouse his wife more. But it was all in vain. And so, one day, desperate and tired, he ordered his employee to go to bed instead of him, and began to hold the candle himself. Surprisingly, everything worked out for the servant, his wife was happy, and the owner, in order not to completely fall in his wife’s eyes, found such a way out of the situation. He said: “Look, now you see how to hold a candle?” There is another, interesting, simple explanation with completely the opposite meaning. It is explained by the fact that a person standing in pitch darkness and holding a burning candle in his hand will not be able to see anything other than it. As a result, he could not witness everything that could be around.
Choose any version for yourself. All of them, in principle, have a place to be. Now you can use the expression “held a candle” and not be afraid that you will be asked to explain what this phraseological unit means and where this expression came from.
The set expression “Hold the candle” is most often used in two directly opposite contexts. If a person wants to declare that he knows nothing about the details of the intimate life of certain individuals, he says: “Did I hold a candle?”
First wedding night in Rus'
Let's start with the fact that in different countries there are very bizarre traditions associated with the first wedding night. For example, in some African tribes, the groom, in a fit of passion, knocks out the bride's two front teeth. In Mexico, newlyweds, on the contrary, abstain from sex for several days after marriage. Our ancestors also attached great importance to the emergence of intimate relationships between newlyweds. In Ancient Rus', a wedding was a strictly regulated ritual event from beginning to end. Of course, the wedding night is no exception.
In Rus', a special marriage bed was prepared for the newlyweds, placing various ritual objects and amulets under it, which were supposed to protect the new family from the evil eye and damage, as well as ensure prosperity and healthy offspring. Such items included: a poker, a juniper twig, a log, a sheaf of rye, and a bag of flour. The marriage bed was high; the more feather beds, the better.
Everyone, relatives and friends, escorted the newlyweds to the bedroom. The tipsy guests had to behave as cheerfully as possible. They sang obscene ditties, joked, and gave the newlyweds obscene advice. The purpose of this whole event was noble: people wanted to help the bride and groom, often inexperienced in this matter, to relax, tune in to the right wave, and overcome natural embarrassment.
The groom's friend had to hit the wedding bed several times with a whip to drive away all evil spirits from there. Then the young people entered into an intimate relationship. However, they were not left alone. The groom's older relatives - father or brother - literally spied on the intercourse, holding candles in their hands, since there was simply no other lighting in those days.
Why were they peeking?
There were several reasons for this seemingly strange behavior of the relatives. The lack of intimacy between spouses meant the impossibility of procreation, and it was for this purpose that family unions were concluded in Ancient Rus'. And the fact of intercourse had to be witnessed for the marriage to be considered valid.
Relatives also feared that the bride would be replaced in the dark. Sometimes, if a girl did not want to become the wife of a particular guy, she could quietly escape from the marital bed, and some girl would take her place. This was done in order to present everyone with a fact in the morning: this guy is now the husband of a completely different person.
And if the groom did not cope with his task, his brother or father could replace him in the marriage bed. This is how our ancestors guaranteed that the child would belong to their clan if the bride became pregnant immediately after losing her virginity.
After the adoption of Christianity, this tradition underwent some changes. The Church insisted that spouses should be each other's only sexual partners. Orthodox clergy also sharply condemned landowners who enjoyed the feudal right of the first night. Therefore, the idea has taken root among people that it is her groom who should deprive a girl of her virginity. And instead of older relatives holding a candle at the door of the newlyweds’ bedroom, the matchmaker began to be “on duty.” However, sometimes tipsy guests joined her, who joked and laughed, openly spying on the young couple, did not let them fall asleep, calling on the groom to take active action.
After the act took place, the marriage was considered confirmed, and this was loudly announced to all other guests and relatives.
Master and servant
It is interesting that the expression “Hold a candle” is associated not only with the traditions of the first wedding night in Rus'. Since people simply had no other lighting for many centuries, many nobles forced their servants and lackeys to stand near their beds with candles. The reason is clear: try unlacing your corset in the dark.
Not wanting to go to bed by touch, the master and his wife ordered the yard man or woman to shine for them at the bedside. Some, not shy nobles could have sex at the same time. In fact, they did not consider a serf servant to be a person. After the owners were safely asleep, the footman could leave his post.
You may ask: why was a person necessary? Can't you just place a candle at the head of your bed? The answer is simple: it is dangerous to fall asleep with a lit candle; if you do not blow it out before going to bed, a fire may occur. Afraid of slipping into sleep with an open source of fire at their pillow, many nobles trusted the right to stand with a candle at their bedside only to trusted servants. Such a lackey, of course, was well aware of all the details of the personal life of the owners.
A similar practice existed in Western European countries. At one time, there was a popular joke about an English lord who could not satisfy his wife. Then he allowed the servant, who was holding a candle at the bedside, to replace himself on the wedding bed. And he stood up with a candle. After the servant completed the task, the lord edifyingly told him: “Well, do you now understand how to hold a candle?”
French version
In France there is a common expression: Que voulez-vous! Je n»y ai pas tenu la chandelle. It also means: “What do you need? I didn't hold a candle." The origin of this expression is associated with the famous engraving “Messalina in the Closet of Licisca” by the Italian artist Agostino Carracci (1557-1602).
The painter depicted a genre scene that took place in one of the many brothels of Ancient Rome. In the engraving, a man and a woman indulge in carnal pleasures. And at this time the mistress of the nativity scene stands over them with a candle. This woman, of course, can call herself a person aware of the details of someone else's intimate relationship.
The engraving by Agostino Carracci became popular in France, where this painting is called “Holding a Candle.”
Perhaps the stable expression we are talking about has several sources of origin. But all of them, in one way or another, are related to the problem of housing lighting, which people faced before the advent of the era of electricity.
What does the expression “hold a candle” mean? Explain... and got the best answer
Answer from NORD[guru] A person who “holds a candle” in a dark room cannot help but be an eyewitness to some event. “I didn’t hold a candle” = “I didn’t see it myself.” In some years, there was a joke about a lord who could not satisfy a lady for a long time. So that they would not be in the dark, the servant held a candle. The lord, tormented and angry at the man's failure, in response to his wife's requests, ordered a servant to replace himself in the marital bed. At the same time, he undertook to hold the candle himself. After phenomenal success, he maintained his dignity and said to the servant: “Do you understand how to hold a candle?!” “Firstly, the indecency of the anecdote is in doubt, and secondly, here is the quote: The famous singer hosted the best St. Petersburg society. Only very few prominent people did not visit her at home. Some of the old French emigrants did not visit Madame Chevalier. She herself was considered to be an emigrant, but she was not considered quite firmly. The French quietly said about her that during the terror she was somewhere the goddess of reason [In the performance “Celebration of Reason”, held in Paris on November 10, 1793, the role of the Goddess of Reason was played by the artist Therese-Angelique Aubry (1772-1829).], and then, during the Directory, she became Barras' mistress. But when those who transmitted the rumor were asked incredulously whether this was really so, they threw up their hands with a grin and said, as is customary in such cases: “Que voulez-vous! Je n"y ai pas tenu la chandelle." ["What do you want! I didn’t hold a candle there” (French) ] Mark Aldanov “Conspiracy”, 1926 The expression (to them) didn’t hold a candle_ means: “I was not a witness to what happened.” The exact origin of this expression is not indicated in the available sources. At ancient Russian weddings, the newlyweds were sent to retire to the upper room for you know what. At the same time, a specially authorized person (I find it difficult to remember who exactly, like a matchmaker) peeped at the newlyweds through the slightly open door, holding a lit candle in his hand so that he could see better. This was done in order to monitor the situation: whether everything went well, whether the young people coped with their task. This is how the demographic situation was controlled in Rus'. Since then, the expression “I didn’t hold a candle for them” has been used, as a rule, when talking about the details of someone’s personal life. _ Source:
Reply from Olvira
[guru] Something like watching while standing nearby
Reply from SUnset man
[guru] Advice: turn around this way or another way... It’s easy to interfere with the process.
Answer from Yan Streltsov
[guru] like being nearby... observing
Reply from Ku
[guru] To see everything, don’t... you’re our guide!
Answer from Okul Polina
[newbie] third wheel
Reply from Evgenievich
[guru] Peep
Answer from Mikhail Kaktus
[guru] That is, to be present at the site of some event and see everything with your own eyes.
Reply from Elenka
[guru] doesn’t roll anymore, now they just stand with a flashlight
Answer from Konstantin (KOT)
[guru]
"How do you know that? Were you holding a candle? or “Well, how should I know, I didn’t hold a candle!” Catchphrases, one way or another connected with the notorious “holding a candle,” can be heard in everyday speech quite often. Their meaning is simple - to be a witness to any events, especially related to someone’s personal, intimate life.
But why exactly a candle? Why don’t we say “I didn’t spy”? And in general, what does “holding a candle” mean and where did this expression come to us? There are three different versions of this, one more interesting than the other.
First wedding night in Rus'
Let's start with the fact that in different countries there are very bizarre traditions associated with the first wedding night. For example, in some African tribes, the groom, in a fit of passion, knocks out the bride's two front teeth. In Mexico, newlyweds, on the contrary, abstain from sex for several days after marriage. Our ancestors also attached great importance to the emergence of intimate relationships between newlyweds. In Ancient Rus', a wedding was a strictly regulated ritual event from beginning to end. Of course, the wedding night is no exception.
In Rus', a special marriage bed was prepared for the newlyweds, placing various ritual objects and amulets under it, which were supposed to protect the new family from the evil eye and damage, as well as ensure prosperity and healthy offspring. Such items included: a poker, a juniper twig, a log, a sheaf of rye, and a bag of flour. The marriage bed was high; the more feather beds, the better.
Everyone, relatives and friends, escorted the newlyweds to the bedroom. The tipsy guests had to behave as cheerfully as possible. They sang obscene ditties, joked, and gave the newlyweds obscene advice. The purpose of this whole event was noble: people wanted to help the bride and groom, often inexperienced in this matter, to relax, tune in to the right wave, and overcome natural embarrassment.
The groom's friend had to hit the wedding bed several times with a whip to drive away all evil spirits from there. Then the young people entered into an intimate relationship. However, they were not left alone. The groom's older relatives - father or brother - literally spied on the intercourse, holding candles in their hands, since there was simply no other lighting in those days.
Version No. 1. Russian
Supporters of this version suggest that the roots of what the expression “hold a candle” means should be sought in ancient Rus'. Then the main meaning of marriage, and indeed life in general, was considered to be procreation. Therefore, the married life of the newlyweds should be as “real” as possible, with all the intimate details that follow.
The relatives of the bride and groom just needed to make sure of this. Therefore, one of them stayed behind the bedroom door and peered through the crack, taking a candle with them for a better view. Having made sure that everything was “in order” with the young couple, this curious person immediately ran to tell the rest of his relatives that, they say, heirs will appear - there is nothing to worry about.
Why were they peeking?
There were several reasons for this seemingly strange behavior of the relatives. The lack of intimacy between spouses meant the impossibility of procreation, and it was for this purpose that family unions were concluded in Ancient Rus'. And the fact of intercourse had to be witnessed for the marriage to be considered valid.
Relatives also feared that the bride would be replaced in the dark. Sometimes, if a girl did not want to become the wife of a particular guy, she could quietly escape from the marital bed, and some girl would take her place. This was done in order to present everyone with a fact in the morning: this guy is now the husband of a completely different person.
And if the groom did not cope with his task, his brother or father could replace him in the marriage bed. This is how our ancestors guaranteed that the child would belong to their clan if the bride became pregnant immediately after losing her virginity.
After the adoption of Christianity, this tradition underwent some changes. The Church insisted that spouses should be each other's only sexual partners. Orthodox clergy also sharply condemned landowners who enjoyed the feudal right of the first night. Therefore, the idea has taken root among people that it is her groom who should deprive a girl of her virginity. And instead of older relatives holding a candle at the door of the newlyweds’ bedroom, the matchmaker began to be “on duty.” However, sometimes tipsy guests joined her, who joked and laughed, openly spying on the young couple, did not let them fall asleep, calling on the groom to take active action.
After the act took place, the marriage was considered confirmed, and this was loudly announced to all other guests and relatives.
Version No. 2. French
Another version of what “held a candle” means came to us from France. There is a curious expression there that translates as “I didn’t hold a candle there!” They uttered it in defiance of the famous French gossips, who were not fed bread, just let them discuss the details of someone’s intimate life.
And the expression itself, which in French sounds like this: Que voulez-vous! Je n»y ai pas tenu la chandelle most likely became popular thanks to an engraving by the Italian artist Agostino Caracci. It shows a pair of lovers engaged in an "interesting" activity, with a woman nearby holding a candle directly above them to provide them with enough light.
This engraving is so widely known among the French that they gave it, instead of the original, long and official name, another short and laconic one. Namely, Tenir la chandelle, which means “holding a candle” or “holding a candle” (about the woman in the engraving).
Why were they peeking?
There were several reasons for this seemingly strange behavior of the relatives. The lack of intimacy between spouses meant the impossibility of procreation, and it was for this purpose that family unions were concluded in Ancient Rus'. And the fact of intercourse had to be witnessed for the marriage to be considered valid.
Relatives also feared that the bride would be replaced in the dark. Sometimes, if a girl did not want to become the wife of a particular guy, she could quietly escape from the marital bed, and some girl would take her place. This was done in order to present everyone with a fact in the morning: this guy is now the husband of a completely different person.
And if the groom did not cope with his task, his brother or father could replace him in the marriage bed. This is how our ancestors guaranteed that the child would belong to their clan if the bride became pregnant immediately after losing her virginity.
After the adoption of Christianity, this tradition underwent some changes. The Church insisted that spouses should be each other's only sexual partners. Orthodox clergy also sharply condemned landowners who enjoyed the feudal right of the first night. Therefore, the idea has taken root among people that it is her groom who should deprive a girl of her virginity. And instead of older relatives holding a candle at the door of the newlyweds’ bedroom, the matchmaker began to be “on duty.” However, sometimes tipsy guests joined her, who joked and laughed, openly spying on the young couple, did not let them fall asleep, calling on the groom to take active action.
After the act took place, the marriage was considered confirmed, and this was loudly announced to all other guests and relatives.
Master and servant
It is interesting that the expression “Hold a candle” is associated not only with the traditions of the first wedding night in Rus'. Since people simply had no other lighting for many centuries, many nobles forced their servants and lackeys to stand near their beds with candles. The reason is clear: try unlacing your corset in the dark.
Not wanting to go to bed by touch, the master and his wife ordered the yard man or woman to shine for them at the bedside. Some, not shy nobles could have sex at the same time. In fact, they did not consider a serf servant to be a person. After the owners were safely asleep, the footman could leave his post.
You may ask: why was a person necessary? Can't you just place a candle at the head of your bed? The answer is simple: it is dangerous to fall asleep with a lit candle; if you do not blow it out before going to bed, a fire may occur. Afraid of slipping into sleep with an open source of fire at their pillow, many nobles trusted the right to stand with a candle at their bedside only to trusted servants. Such a lackey, of course, was well aware of all the details of the personal life of the owners.
A similar practice existed in Western European countries. At one time, there was a popular joke about an English lord who could not satisfy his wife. Then he allowed the servant, who was holding a candle at the bedside, to replace himself on the wedding bed. And he stood up with a candle. After the servant completed the task, the lord edifyingly told him: “Well, do you now understand how to hold a candle?”
