The baptism of a child is an event that happens to every religious family. However, few people know that such an Orthodox ritual can affect the future fate of both parents and their children. To understand how to avoid negative consequences and not cause trouble, you need to turn to folk wisdom.
Baptizing an unmarried girl's first daughter means failure in her personal life
In the superstitions that have come down to us, there are instructions on how to properly prepare and conduct baptism. So, for example, signs are relevant that explain whether an unmarried or separated girl can be baptized.
Signs about the baptism of a girl
There is a belief that an unmarried girl cannot be baptized first because she will not willingly share her destiny with her goddaughter and will prevent her from finding love. They also believe that an unmarried girl can take away her happiness from a child.
According to popular belief, a girl-godmother may also suffer and not get married in the future.
The church's opinion on this matter is slightly different. The priests assure that this will not affect the personal life of both the godmother and the child. However, they point out the prohibitions due to which an unmarried woman cannot baptize a girl:
- she herself is unbaptized;
- does not attend church and does not believe in God;
- has involvement in another religion;
- is not yet 18 years old, so she will not be able to understand the importance of the obligations entrusted to her.
Responsibilities of a godparent
The spiritual mother has to not only accept the child from the font and love him as if she were her own. It is the responsibility of the recipients to raise children in the Orthodox faith and introduce them to church sacraments.
The church charter clearly stipulates what it means to be a kind and responsible mentor. The godmother must:
- pray for health;
- attend religious services with your child;
- teach the child to follow the traditions of the Orthodox Church, read the Bible with him, explain the meaning of the sacraments, teach him prayers (primarily “Our Father”, “Hail Mary”), confess, take communion;
- explain the meaning of the “Creed”;
- set a good example by your behavior.
According to an ancient tradition, the godmother gives a shirt (kryzhma), which is put on the person being baptized after they take him out of the font. But this is not a mandatory rule, and most often parents buy both the kryzhma and the cross themselves.
Responsibilities during the sacrament itself
The successor makes two most important vows for her goddaughter (if she has not yet emerged from infancy and cannot speak): she renounces Satan and promises to combine life with Christ. On the eve of the sacrament, the girl must confess and receive communion herself. During the baptism itself, she is obliged to hold the baby in her arms and read the Creed. After leaving the font, she puts a kryzhma on the baby or wraps her in a new diaper.
From all these requirements it is clear that the godmother is not only a source of tender love and magical gifts. She is a spiritual mentor who brings a child to church and introduces him to faith. And this is much more important.
Is it possible to baptize a boy unmarried?
There are also superstitions about the baptism of a boy. For example:
- In order for the girl’s fate to turn out well, she needs to baptize the boy first.
- And vice versa - she cannot be the godmother of a male child at all, since she will not be able to get married for a long time.
- If the parents have not found a godfather, then an unmarried woman cannot baptize the boy, due to the fact that the patron must be of the same gender as the godson.
The Church rejects these signs and says that a believer should not bother his head with all sorts of superstitions. The rules for choosing godparents do not say anything that an unmarried girl cannot baptize a child of any gender.
But still, some churches, if there is only one godfather, ask to find a person of the same gender as the baby.
Difficult choice
To choose a girl for the role of godmother, you can contact an ordained or simply experienced priest. Most often, a week before the priest, they talk about the sacrament itself, what things need to be purchased, and about the important role and mission that the chosen new parents have. In the end, the most important thing when choosing a godmother is not the question of her status in society, but the topic of religion. It is important that the godmother is a believer and baptized.
The godmother is obliged to buy an icon of the saint with the girl’s name and a special cloth, which is covered with kryzhma. The best kryzhma would be a completely new fabric, symbolizing the purity of a little girl. It is believed that in the future the baby’s mother will carefully store this fabric and not show it to anyone.
A child can be baptized after 8 days from birth, but it is important to consider that a woman who has given birth cannot enter the temple for 40 days from birth.
Is it possible for a divorced woman to be the godmother of a girl?
There is a belief that a woman who divorces in the first three years of marriage cannot baptize a girl. Otherwise, the goddaughter will face constant disagreements with her parents and neglect of her elders in the future.
If a woman who has been married for more than four years becomes a godmother, then this is a harbinger of melancholy in the girl. Due to her constant sad mood, she will stand out greatly from her peers.
A woman who divorced due to infidelity cannot baptize a girl. Otherwise, in the future, the goddaughter will not be able to have serious relationships with men.
There is also a superstition according to which a woman cannot become a godmother to a girl if she remarried after the divorce.
In this case, every baptism anniversary for the girl will be full of troubles, which is why she will hate this day.
Who can be chosen as godparents for a baby?
According to church canons, adherents of the Orthodox faith who have reached the age of majority can be recipients during the baptismal rite in the church. After all, godparents are a person’s spiritual mentors for life. They will have to answer for the godson before God and guide the child on the righteous path. And also all the sins of the ward fall on the conscience of the godparents until he turns 16 years old.
Therefore, mom and dad should choose godparents for their child based not only on their own considerations. It is necessary to comply with religious instructions, and they say that a child can be baptized:
- Relatives of the child (aunt, uncle, grandfather, grandmother). Children over 14 years old are allowed to baptize a brother or sister.
- Godmothers (people who chose you as a successor for their child). You can baptize each other's children.
- Godparents of the firstborn.
- The priest performing the ceremony or the psalm-reader (if it was not possible to choose a recipient in an area with a predominance of infidels or the person being baptized is in mortal danger).
- A woman expecting a child.
- An unmarried person with no children.
The opinion of the Orthodox Church
Priests claim that the answer to the question whether an unmarried girl can baptize a girl depends on the age of her goddaughter:
- less than one year - then baptism will not affect anyone’s future life;
- 2-3 years - this event will affect the health of relatives;
- 4-7 years old - it is categorically not recommended to baptize an unmarried woman, because this will affect the girl’s outlook;
- 8-10 years – also not recommended, because in the future this will alienate the goddaughter from relatives and friends;
- 11-15 years old - you cannot take an unmarried woman as godparents because she will try to get into a relationship faster;
- over 16 years old - you can choose a godmother from unmarried girls and not fear for the girl’s future.
The baptism of unmarried boys depends on the day of the week on which the sacrament will take place:
- on Monday - promotion of one of the parents on the career ladder;
- on Tuesday - the boy will become seriously interested in science;
- on Wednesday - in the future he will meet a good person;
- on Thursday - helps to rid the child of enemies;
- on Friday - will lead to the beginning of a romantic relationship;
- on Saturday - thanks to a good relationship with parents, he will be able to trust adults;
- on Sunday - in the future he will find friendship for life.
The sacrament of baptism has many superstitions and signs. Being a godfather is a very important burden that not everyone can bear. Therefore, the selection of a candidate must be approached carefully.
Why can't the first girl be baptized?
There are two explanations for this: one is really from the realm of superstition, but the second is quite realistic, with which we will begin. It is believed that a young unmarried girl does not yet have enough life experience to be a full-fledged godmother for the baby, to truly take care of her if something happens. However, it is worth noting here that, firstly, all people are different: some are already quite mature by the age of 20 in order to take care of others, while others remain mere children even at 50. That is why, if a girl is serious and wants to be a godmother, and the baby’s mother also agrees, there is and cannot be any obstacle to her desire. Another thing is that christenings are often not taken seriously, they do not realize that this is a responsible matter, because, in essence, we become responsible for the fate of the baby.
The second explanation relates to the area of superstition. Allegedly, if a young unmarried woman or girl becomes a godmother for a little girl, this means that she herself will not be able to give birth and will be unhappy in her personal life. We will not argue with people who fanatically defend this point of view. Firstly, they are often deaf to the arguments of reason, and secondly, they will give you a lot of examples to prove it. So, on one of the forums I literally read the following: “There are many examples from life when godmothers, being unmarried or without children, baptized girls - and were left with either an unsettled personal life or later did not have children. I will even say: there are too many such examples.” And on the other hand: “My sister became a friend’s godmother at the age of 18. And it’s okay: she got married and gave birth to her daughter!” — and I counted no less such examples. This suggests an obvious logical conclusion: the happiness or unhappiness of a woman who baptized a girl before her marriage does not depend in any way on the christening. There are completely different reasons at work here that are not the topic of our conversation. Therefore, the question of whether it is possible for a girl to baptize her first girl should be answered not based on signs, but on her own readiness to take such a serious step.
Preparation for the sacrament
Natural parents are not godparents for their child; they themselves choose where to baptize him. They need to agree with the priest about the time, it depends on the church schedule. It is advisable to choose godparents from among the believers: they bear responsibility before the Lord for the spiritual development of the child.
Choosing godparents
Godparents must be chosen for a girl. They meet the following criteria:
- profess Orthodoxy;
- are not in an official or civil marriage;
- are adults.
Pregnant women become godparents, but there are several nuances:
Parents need to know who cannot be godparents. These include:
- unrepentant sinners;
- young children;
- unbaptized and unbelievers;
- nuns, monks;
- women who have recently given birth, if 40 days have not passed since the birth of the child;
- persons leading an immoral lifestyle, violating the commandments;
- alcoholics;
- Gentiles.
For Orthodox Christians who regularly attend church, no additional preparation is required. For others it is obligatory to confess and receive communion. The priest conducts a conversation before baptism, explains how to behave during the ceremony and what is needed for baptism. Close relatives: sister, grandmother, aunt can also be godparents.
What is needed for the ritual
The godmother is responsible for raising the girl in the Orthodox spirit. Before the sacrament, you will need to visit the church and undergo an interview, during which they talk about God and the rules of the great sacrament. It is important that she is able to handle the baby as she will have to undress him and put on the christening set.
The christening kit includes:
- For babies, a kryzhma (large towel) or a baptismal dress for a girl. Godmother buys.
- The godfather acquires the cross. It can be put on a string or chain. For small children, it is advisable to choose a cross with rounded outlines without sharp corners to avoid scratches.
The cross and chain are chosen based on their capabilities: from plain metal or from gold, silver. There are no strict requirements on what to buy and for whom, so they can be purchased by parents, grandfather or uncle.
Preparation and rules for godparents:
- visit the temple for confession and communion;
- observe a short fast (3 days), giving up meat food, bad thoughts and words;
- learn the text of the baptismal prayer “Creed”, “Our Father”;
- acquire the necessary attributes for baptism;
- Do not eat before the sacrament.
Church rules
During the sacrament of baptism of a girl, the godmother is considered the main recipient. Church rules for a godmother say that her main task is to read during the ritual of prayer. If you are not able to learn it by heart, you can take a prayer book. Traditionally, he buys a white towel (kryzhma) and a baptismal set. As a gift, he acquires an icon of the saint, whose name was given to the goddaughter during the ceremony. According to church rules for a godfather, he carries the child into the church and holds him in his arms until the time comes to hand him over to the clergyman.
Godparents and spouses often do not know on what days the sacrament of baptism is performed. There are no prohibitions on holidays, fasts or ordinary days of the week in church rules. Exceptions are made only for three great holidays: Christmas, Easter, Trinity. At this time, the priest is unlikely to have free time for the sacrament. Many churches have a set schedule; baptisms are held only on certain days, usually Saturdays. In a conversation with the priest, they clarify how the ceremony takes place and what is needed for it.
Parents and invited guests are welcome to attend the church. These include immediate relatives; photography and video filming are permitted, but it is time to secure the consent of the priest. Sometimes a professional is invited to record all the important moments of the ceremony.
Can a husband and wife be godparents to a child?
The desire to take a married couple as godparents appears when the parents have few friends and acquaintances, or they do not refuse to accept such responsibility, or the friends are far from a righteous lifestyle. In this case, you need to remember that according to church canons you can choose one godfather who will be the same gender as the child.
Spouses cannot be godparents of one child. But you can baptize different children in the same family. If you really want to become related in couples, the husband can baptize a boy, and the wife can baptize a girl.
If parents have individual questions regarding the reasons for the ban on husband and wife being godparents, they should contact the priest during the period of preparation for the ritual. Sometimes the question of choosing a married couple as adoptive parents is resolved positively (in the presence of exceptional circumstances).
Source
How to dress correctly for a christening
When going to a ritual, you need to know what to baptize with. There are church rules that require festive clothing for everyone present. Allowed:
- skirt below the knees;
- closed jacket with long sleeves;
- a scarf covering the head.
You should not wear trousers, shorts, or a short skirt in church. Clothing must cover the neckline, back and arms. Men can be bareheaded in a shirt and trousers; women must wear a headscarf.
The color and pattern of outfits are not regulated, but for baptism it is advisable to choose something light, because this is a big holiday for the family.
How to store baptismal items
There are no rules in the Bible for the use of things left after a christening, but clergy recommend that parents keep the kryzhma and baptismal cross. They can be put in a chest of drawers and stored with the child’s clothes so that they are not in front of strangers. If he gets sick or behaves restlessly, they cover him with kryzhma.
What not to do with a baptism towel:
- wash;
- throwing away;
- used to baptize other people.
There is an opinion that a baptismal shirt is a healing amulet that is applied to a sore spot for a speedy recovery. Not all parents know whether a child should wear a cross all the time. This is desirable, but if the need arises, it is temporarily removed. This thing should not be thrown away, because it is the best amulet. Even if they bought a new cross and chain, they keep the old one.
What should a godmother do?
The Lord Almighty, along with permission to become a godmother for a girl, endowed the godmother with responsibilities. So, after the baptismal ceremony, the girl becomes, as it were, a second mother for her goddaughter; she must help the girl’s parents in raising her. And if something happens to the parent (God forbid), the godmother must completely replace the child’s mother.
When the goddaughter grows up and goes to church to get married, the godmother must be present at her wedding.
And not only. The godmother must certainly be present at all important events in the child’s life and give her goddaughter gifts on her birthday.
You become a godmother for life; this is a very big responsibility, which you need to remember all the time when agreeing to become a godmother for a newborn.
How to prepare
About how to properly prepare a future godmother for the Sacrament of Baptism, it is best to ask the priest who will perform this Sacrament. In most churches, special conversations are held on how to prepare yourself and prepare a child for parents and future adoptees. If there is no such opportunity in the church where the Baptism will take place, and the priest for some reason could not devote time to the future godparents, then you can purchase the appropriate literature. In any case, it is advisable for the godmother to receive communion on the day of the Sacrament or the day before, having made the necessary preparations beforehand. It’s good if you manage to find time to read the Gospel during the week before baptism. Be sure to throughout the week before and during the Sacrament itself, you must pray with all your heart to God and the Mother of God for blessings for yourself and your goddaughter, and ask for help in fulfilling your obligations. Is it possible for unmarried girls to have girls baptized? Any girl or woman who seriously, responsibly, and with reverence approaches her role in the Sacrament and the entire future life of the child can baptize a girl.
