Questions via the Network: how to properly build virtual communication with a priest

Conversations with the priest. Answers on questions

In the Moscow studio of our TV channel, the cleric of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Sokolniki (Moscow), Archpriest Vasily Gelevan, answers questions from viewers. – I’ll start with the questions that were sent to us earlier, but we didn’t have time to answer them.
The first question: “How to get rid of self-justification?” – You need to be sincere with yourself. What is self-justification? This is a child of pride, when you want to look better both in the faces of others and to rise in your own eyes. You start to fantasize. We must remember that this is a road to nowhere. The self-justifier is not self-critical. But we, Christians, always need to analyze ourselves internally, frankly tell ourselves: here you have a shortcoming, here you are wrong, you made a mistake, you need to correct it somehow. It's very difficult actually. To do this, you need to be determined and be honest with yourself.

– Sometimes it happens that you justify yourself by thinking that someone is judging you, but no one around you cares anymore, everyone has forgotten about it.

Next question: “What is the correct translation of the word “hallelujah”? I heard it means: “Lord, save.” And the explanatory dictionary says: “Praise the Lord.” How is that correct?”

– The second option is correct. Moreover, there is another option: “Glory to Thee, God.” This is a bit paraphrased, but basically the same thing. And in the Russian liturgical tradition we sing “Hallelujah” three times. Although in the original Greek it is written once. The word is Hebrew, it is alive in all translations, and no one wants to translate it. It has quite firmly entered into the liturgical tradition not only of the Russian Orthodox Church, but also of all Christian Churches (not only Orthodox).

– Question from a TV viewer: “Are people able to change under the influence of a kind attitude towards them? In particular, beggars. They still won’t leave the street.”

– Of course, goodness does not die, it always bears fruit. The Lord calls us to always be merciful. And we are talking here not only about alms; any good deed certainly entails goodness. People consciously do good deeds because they know that in the end it is good for both the person you benefited and yourself. After all, how good it feels when you do something...

We are now on the threshold of Lent. On the last day before Lent (last time it was in the spring) we hear the Gospel. The parallel is very clear, because there are forty days of fasting both there and here. The Gospel says to go to a prison to console a suffering prisoner, to go to a hospital to help a person in need in some way (there is a lot of harvest there), to console someone; maybe give something to drink, feed, donate something, help something to your neighbor or someone far away. But every time you do something kind, it somehow responds to you, you are in a good mood.

– Next question: “My mother often makes me pray. Should you obey or do it your own way? Daria, 13 years old.”

– This is the age of protest, deep doubts and quests. At this age, it’s time to find a compelling argument for praying yourself (not under pressure, not under duress, but on your own). Mom is wrong. A slave is not a pilgrim. And at this age this is especially acute. Under no circumstances should children be forced; they must set a good example and pray themselves. Then the children, looking at their parents, may someday also begin to pray. In the meantime, we need to pray ourselves.

I really want to advise you, Daria, that you look carefully at yourself, so that when you think about this, you can find an argument for yourself. And when it responds to you that the Lord hears, He is alive, and you are praying to Him (at least for two or three minutes), then the Lord will not hesitate, will definitely respond.

– Next question: “I really love the prayer of St. Philaret of Moscow. How to understand the phrase: “I sacrifice myself to you?”

– Our whole life is a sacrifice to God, from birth. Only in order to carry out this sacrifice, a person must always act in the face of God. Not only when he stands at evening and morning prayers, at the liturgy, but even when he speaks, thinks, makes some kind of sacrifice for the sake of another person. This is already a sacrifice for God. Therefore, our whole life is a complete sacrifice. What is love? True love is when you sacrifice, give to your loved one. Here the beloved is God. This is even significantly more. But this is not some fragmentary feat (he sacrificed himself), this is a path. Sacrifice to God is a whole journey from birth to the last breath.

– Question from a TV viewer: “Why doesn’t the Lord forgive sinners in hell?”

– A good and at the same time difficult question for a person to answer. We cannot say definitively that this is the case. Because we have been taught from the word of God that God forgives. I’ll tell you more: God gives us here on earth the opportunity to repent. Each priest has the right to cover you with a stole and the power given to him by God, to either forgive or not forgive.

The Lord says: “Amen. What you forgive (or do not forgive) on earth will be forgiven (or not forgiven) in heaven.” I emphasize: here on earth. No one confesses there anymore, no one can make any sacrifice. Nothing can be changed there at all. This is important for us as a call, so that here on earth we strive to change something, improve something, confess something, repent of something. It’s not that the Lord doesn’t forgive, God’s mercy is limitless, but we won’t have the opportunity to bring this repentance there. That's the problem.

– Many things in earthly life would probably not make so much sense if everything were so simple.

– Yes, we could leave them for later, as we like. “I’ll go to church in my old age,” “I’ll repent during Great Lent,” and so on. No, we need to do it here and now, because we don’t even know what will happen tomorrow, in a minute. We are not even sure whether we will get home. We plan, but we assume, but the Lord disposes.

“That’s why there are prayers where we ask that this bed not be a coffin...

– Yes, at evening prayers. Under no circumstances should repentance be delayed. As soon as something is born, you should immediately try to confess it. This is necessary in order to realize God's forgiveness.

- Next question: “If the priest blessed me not to fast due to illness, is it necessary to talk about this in confession?”

- No. And whoever blessed, accepts confession.

– What if you confess to another priest?

- Again, there is no need. There is already a blessing. I think, in general, over time you need to learn how to confess succinctly. That is, do not repeat a lot of little things. You came to another priest - of course, you want him to understand you right away. But it takes hours, days, months, years for contact to be established. Such contact is possible only with a confessor, with a priest with whom you have been confessing for a long time, who knows your capabilities (both physical and spiritual). And since it’s your first time here, I don’t think you should delude yourself that you can tell everything right away. It is sometimes better to say something specific that has been burning now, since the last confession, to name some specific sins, perhaps to hear spiritual guidance (because a spiritually experienced priest will also guide you), but you definitely should not repeat this every time . If you receive a blessing, fulfill it.

– What if I forgot to say something? This is a common problem.

- It happens.

– Even one famous priest spoke quite harshly about this.

“The famous priest probably didn’t have enough patience.” Each of us has such situations when, it would seem, we have already completed everything, but we remembered something - and again we stood in line, stood in line again, in order to say two or three words. Anything can happen. But we, priests, of course, need to be patient and love. It's not that difficult. And to prevent such things from happening, I always advise people to write something down. Because even the faintest piece of paper is much brighter than the brightest memory. Write down what happened during the week, in chronological order. Then come and read this.

I really believe that the Merciful Lord, who accepts our confession, sees not only this fragment when we stand at the lectern, bowing our knees and head, and pronounce these words. No, confession is much broader. It begins from the moment when you first thought that you were wrong. This is already a confession. And then I wrote down these words under the light of the lampshade. This is also a fragment and a step along this path. And the climax comes when they cover our heads with an epitrachelion - and we hear the words of a prayer of permission above us.

– Question from a TV viewer: “I’m 79 years old, I came to church late, four years ago. But during this time, I happily attended Sunday school for adults, and then, at the insistence of a friend, began to study the Church Slavonic language. This language is very beautiful, melodious, musical, I like reading in it. Of course, I still don’t read well, so I had to turn to the alphabet and grammar. And here the letter “th” confused me. This letter is not in the alphabet of the Church Slavonic language, but it is found in prayers. And I have not yet found an explanation for this circumstance, help my ignorance.”

– I never thought about it. There is such a letter there, it is a stick with two dots. I can not say anything. But it's not a matter of letter, but of spirit. When we read and see something incomprehensible, then we ask for help, but I’m not strong here. As for prayer, this is welcome. “Lord, have mercy” is a wonderful prayer; at the very beginning you came across this letter. And then you will meet many more times. There are few prayers where this letter is not found; it is very popular.

Or "Kyrie Eleison". You know, “Lord, have mercy” has a double meaning. There is also a prayer for healing, since oil was the only means of healing in ancient times. It is found even in the Gospel, in the parable of the Good Samaritan. This is the first meaning: “Lord, have mercy and heal my illnesses - both mental and physical.” And the second meaning is, of course, “forgiveness.” Because “eleison” also comes from the word “sorry.”

– A very interesting remark. She says she came to church late. Is it too late? I think it's on time.

- Already a respectable age. And it’s amazing that our TV viewer speaks wonderfully, has a clear mind, and excellent physical condition. I would like to wish for myself and everyone that at this age we express our thoughts just as wonderfully. It seems to me that our TV viewer still has a lot ahead. Sunday school is over, but there are still opportunities...

- Read in church if she was advised to master Slavic literacy.

– You can read the Bible itself in this language. For example, on the eve of the service, read the concept in Slavic. In the temple this is exactly how we will hear it. You can also read it in Russian at the same time. And if time permits, you can also read the commentaries and interpretation of the Holy Scriptures. On the eve of Sunday, prepare so thoroughly, then the service will be more interesting.

– By the way, a question also arises. A person often comes to faith after ungodly years at a very mature age, sometimes before death. And, one might say, from our earthly point of view, one is saved in repentance, having received the Holy Mysteries. But some people believe from birth, try hard, experience certain feelings, constantly go to church, give alms... And sometimes you wonder how this happens? Why such a paradox?

– In my opinion, here we are talking about getting used to the shrine. When a person, already at a conscious age, comes to this and literally faces this reality, he experiences awe. And it matures in him in such a way that there is enough charge for a lifetime. If you have been in church since childhood, then you get used to the shrine. This is a terrible temptation for any person.

And then you can somehow forget who you are, why you are, what to do next. But for such a person as you just described, there is a path to salvation. Because one day such a person will see the light and come to the knowledge of the truth, he will definitely repent and will continue to walk shoulder to shoulder with the one who came to the temple late.

You know, today I baptized a man of advanced years, he was impatient. He was now admitted to the Sklifosovsky Research Institute of Emergency Medicine, and then we talked, and he made a firm decision to be baptized on the eve of a complex surgery. Today the servant of God Vladimir was baptized, God grant him health now, so that both the baptism and the Communion that he received today would be for the healing of his soul and body.

– This is very good news. It's never too late. There is a joke: “What is the most important thing in the matter of salvation? Don't slow down."

– In ancient times, Christians deliberately delayed the moment of baptism. This is what Equal-to-the-Apostles Constantine did, for example. He already believed, convened the First Ecumenical Council and did many good deeds for the Church (Edict of Milan, etc.), but he was not baptized. And only on his deathbed, after a mortal wound during the battle, he was baptized by the hand of the bishop. A very good confirmation of this idea is that baptism washes away all sins. True, we do not have the opportunity to take an Orthodox bishop with us everywhere, so we are baptized in infancy. Because we don’t know what will happen tomorrow. It's better to be baptized.

– Question from a TV viewer: “First of all, I want to express my deep gratitude to Father Vasily, whom I always listen to with reverence. God bless you! And my question is this. I just can’t figure it out in the Gospel of Luke (chapter 9). When the Lord called one man to follow Him, he answered: “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him: “Let the dead bury their own dead.” I just can’t understand this, because with God everyone is alive. Please tell me".

- Everything is simple here. The dead are those who do not believe. There is physical death, and there is spiritual death. He who does not accept God is spiritually dead; All that remains is for the heart to stop beating, then the doctor will pronounce death. But spiritual death has already arrived. Here we mean precisely those who did not accept the gospel, did not accept the Holy Gospel.

– Next question: “I watch your channel every day when I do household chores. And suddenly the program begins when the Gospel and the Apostle are read. In the temple we stand with our heads down. How should you behave at home? Leave everything and stand as if in a temple? Or can you continue your business while listening to the Gospel?”

– The moment of reading the Gospel is still sacred. I am deeply convinced that at this moment it is worth concentrating, leaving all worries and standing and listening for a few minutes. It is not necessary to kneel down and light candles, but it is worth stopping out of respect for the Gospel.

By the way, I just remembered an example. There was such an Archbishop Mikhail (Mudyugin). At one time he suffered for his faith and was in prison. And the bishop said that once in his cell he took out the Holy Scriptures and began to read them while lying down. And there was a man nearby, he knelt down and said: “What are you doing, man? This word must be read on your knees!” He felt so ashamed that he remembered this moment for the rest of his life.

What are we doing? We kiss the Gospel, but we don't really study it. If the word of God comes from someone’s lips, it means that now you should trust God: “Lord, come into my heart, leave an indelible mark there.” It’s even unimaginable how you can fuss about or do anything else at these moments. I can understand when we do something during the Psalter, Akathist. But the Gospel is the word coming directly from the mouth of Christ. Therefore, of course, it is worth interrupting and putting aside all concern.

– What if you feel like you’re not ready now? Irritated, something else, or something isn’t working out. Switch off?

- Right. If you're not ready, turn it off. It’s better to listen and trust God. How can you not be ready? Only God knows the extent of my readiness. I can say that right now I’m irritated, tired, want to sleep, or my head is like a gas cylinder - there’s so much stuff swarming around in it... I can say that. And only God knows the degree of readiness. The thief was also not ready to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, he knew that for sure. He only asked to be remembered. I just know that the Lord is capable of performing a miracle. And what am I? So bad, unprepared, but now God hears me, and I sacrifice these few minutes to Him, and I know for sure that the Lord will definitely respond in response.

– A frequently asked question: how should one behave during home prayer? Are there any rules?

– Home prayer is generally not much different from ordinary prayer; let's say, how we prayed in seminary or how we pray in church... The only thing, perhaps, is more individual prayer, more often than not you yourself stand in prayer and communicate with God yourself. For example, in a large family this is rarely possible, because at the same time you want to communicate with God yourself, and you want to somehow involve your children in this. And the best way to teach children to pray is to stand next to them in prayer, so that they stand with you, say something in some of their children’s words, and fans do something with you for those who commanded you to pray for them (for the living, departed, sing to God in children's voices). It’s so touching when children sing to the Mother of God, troparia to the holy saints of God...

For me personally, this is a firm conviction that the Lord hears children’s prayers very well. I even think that it is better than ours, because we are already adults, we are burdened with our passions, infirmities, and the child is not yet mired in them, his heart is pure, he is truly a child. But God said, and His word is not false: let the children come to Me, for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven. It is also said: blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. What a child sees, no adult sees, and therefore the quality of prayer is better. She may be naive and simple-minded, but her quality and sincerity evoke sympathy.

I would like to pray myself, I would like to realize this moment didactically, so here is a compromise. For example, it’s morning, it’s time for school, you also need to go somewhere, but you want to feed the children. It is not necessary to imitate Father Vasily, but my experience is such that I learned these prayers by heart when I was young; I pray and nothing bothers me. At this time I am preparing an omelette, cutting bread, putting the kettle on... I have icons right in the kitchen - a small iconostasis, a lamp is shining, nothing bothers me, since I am alone in this kitchen... I look after the children, help them with something. Sometimes you get up with the children and read the entire rule. Of course, it’s tiring for the guys, but it’s also useful. Do you know what to avoid? Bustle. Because you can even stand in prayer, but your head will be somewhere there - you need to keep an eye on it.

But we must not forget that obedience in a monastery is not vanity. At the parishes we installed special cables, a microphone, a speaker at the other end, and this is generally at the other end of the building (we have a refectory there). In the refectory, a woman prepares lunch so that the priests, choristers, and altar servers can come and have lunch immediately after the liturgy. She cannot stand with us at the liturgy, but she hears everything. Some especially important prayers - she will stop, cross herself, and then continue. And this is her obedience. In this case, at breakfast, I also perceive myself as a novice who does a little something, and I always make sure that there is no fuss. You even do something with your hands, but you follow the prayer, you pronounce it with your lips.

– By the way, this is in the life of Matrona of Moscow, when someone went to church, and someone stayed at home due to weakness and sang troparia and prayed. In the end, it turned out that they were not in the temple, but these were.

– There’s a lot of that. St. Basil the Blessed said to Ivan the Terrible: “You are now walking along the Sparrow Hills, I know everything.” - “Yes, Vasily, that’s right, during the liturgy I kept thinking about how I could build a mansion on the Sparrow Hills.” He stood in the temple with his body, but remained there with his mind.

– The classic story of our spiritual life.

Question from a TV viewer: “In the Gospel of Luke, Christ talks about a mystery that will become clear. And there are these words: “What you said in a room alone to each other will be preached on the housetops.” There are intimate questions. People in private in confession won’t even tell the details, and this will be preached to everyone on the roof? And who needs such preachers? Only gossipers need it. Perhaps Christ was talking about something secret and serious? I have an opinion on this matter, but I want to hear what you have to say.”

– The Gospel will hardly talk about gossip. We are talking here about preaching, about the fact that sometimes there are sacred moments. Sacred. Not gossip, not something to be ashamed of, but very deep inner experiences - this will be discussed. What do I want? I wish, first of all, for myself, and for all of us, to read both the Holy Scriptures and interpretations. There are wonderful interpretations of both the ancient fathers (this is the golden age in patristic literature) and our contemporaries and fellow tribesmen - read the interpretations. It’s very good for us priests, we are in a privileged position, because for every liturgy you are obliged to prepare a sermon, every liturgy you read these same interpretations, then reproduce them, and something remains in your soul and in your head. I advise the laity to also be sure to read both the Holy Scriptures and interpretations before the liturgy.

– The next question is also practical, worrying our TV viewers: “Are prostrations done during Sunday services?”

– Different opinions have already been expressed on this matter. And in practice it is also different. There is a rule written about prostrations, and this rule clearly states that they are done at certain times. For example, during the Divine Liturgy, bows are made, but before the Eucharistic canon. Then, when the Holy Gifts are already on the throne, no bows are made. Of course, you cannot bow to the ground when you stand in front of the Chalice. I really want to, but we refrain and don’t do it, and even after Communion we don’t bow. These are the interesting circumstances we have.

- Yes. In general, it seems to me that you can bow as long as you don’t disturb others...

– This is precisely what is good about Orthodoxy: if you want to do it, you do it. There is no such thing here: a charter! I can give you an example. Until recently, we served in the same church with the same priest; he always bowed with conviction, and I also always bowed in company. It's difficult, isn't it? During the liturgy, there is no problem not to bow, for God’s sake. Here are the Holy Gifts, here we bow...

Then another abbot came, he has a practice, a habit - he does not bow. It’s interesting that both, when they were young, studied in the same church with the same priest (Father Dimitry Smirnov), for some reason this one had the same experience, and the other had the opposite experience. And what? Now we don’t bow, and I don’t really bother about it either. Either we do it together, or we don’t do it together; for this purpose there is a chief priest or bishop who sets the tone.

– Probably, just so as not to disturb others and not lead them into temptation?

– If only there was peace here, because you can find a million such topics.

– So that’s exactly where they are.

“So let everything be done with love.” I put the candle this way or that way, it’s not a chemical reaction after all. The main thing for us is that there is prayer, that there is love in this prayer and sacrifice to God, and how to do this, with the right hand or the left, are already details.

– Question from a TV viewer: “Every time with your channel I listen to the morning and evening rules, but I have bad legs - and I read the service with you while sitting. I heard: it’s better to think about God while sitting than to think about your feet while standing. Who said that?"

– I can’t say who. This is a flying phrase and, in my opinion, very fair. And it can only be expanded in the sense that when you sit, you listen to the Psalter, kathisma (kathisma in general is literally translated as “sit”). The akathist is always read while standing – that’s the idea. Well, you sit because your back hurts, your leg hurts - it’s still better than nothing. But when you stand, people perceive it in a special way. Firstly, at some spiritual level, on an emotional level, you perceive that you are standing with respect before the One to whom you are addressing. Secondly, which is also significant (the doctors will hear me now and will confirm), something is happening with our blood circulation, somehow we are more able to concentrate, our head thinks better when we stand. Do you understand? Both on the emotional and physiological level, it is better to stand if possible, but if not, then sitting, it’s still better than nothing.

– The editor tells me: Metropolitan of Moscow Filaret (Drozdov) said this. “It is better to think about prayer while sitting than to think about your feet while standing.” Even for the sick, if they are able, it is better to stand while reading the Gospel.

– Today there was a seriously ill man, I allowed him to sit (he sat throughout the sacrament), we baptized him in full, which is quite rare in an ambulance, but he is more or less able to do so. You can’t even say the word “able,” but more or less... That’s why he sometimes got up. For example, I anoint him and say: “Sit down.” He coughs, chokes, and sits down. I say: “Get up.” Got up. Turned to him: “Listen to the Gospel of Matthew to the very last line; listen to what Christ commanded us.” I listened. “Now sit down.” I see that even his temples were puffed up from the fact that he was standing, but he still overcame himself, stood, anointed himself with myrrh, and even today walked around the font three times - everything was for real.

– Tell us about your ministry. This is the Sklifosofsky hospital.

“With the blessing of His Eminence Bishop Panteleimon, I have been working at the Emergency Medicine Research Institute for just over three years now. There is a large church of the Life-Giving Trinity on Sukharevskaya Square. We all remember, on the Garden Ring you can see this beautiful arch and the central temple, and we also have a small temple right in the middle, they built it in the garden itself; Divine services take place there on weekdays, we perform baptism, unction, and funeral services. At the Research Institute of Emergency Medicine, our main job is as priests: we come there and help, we collect unction for the sick, there are fifteen floors there.

– Fortunately, I have never been there.

– Thank God, it’s better not to be there. This is an ambulance, no one comes there of their own free will. We have wonderful sisters of mercy, they walk through the floors and ask: brothers and sisters, who wants the priest to visit you? - “I want to take communion.” - “I want to undergo unction.” - “I want to confess.” And it happens that a person can no longer express his desire, it happens that he is already in intensive care, in a critical condition, when he doesn’t even have instincts, he doesn’t swallow, his trachea is broken, and then we can’t confess him. We can only confess to a person who is conscious.

Likewise, we cannot give communion to a person who does not have swallowing reflexes and who is fed through a tube, but we do everything possible: we can anoint him with oil, even stand next to him.

If you are not baptized, we suggest that you be baptized - this is very important. In the hospital, this is even perceived in a special way - here it is already a matter of life and death. And when a person recovers with God’s help, his faith will be very strong. Of course, part of our pastoral work in the morgue, but this is not work with the dead (nothing can be fixed there), it is work with loved ones and relatives of the deceased. Paradox: during the funeral service we talk about life. It would seem that we just came to say goodbye to the deceased, but in fact we learn a deep moral lesson from this. We are learning how to continue to build our lives, how to repent, go to church, how to go to God through this moment, when in the middle of the room there is this box with a lifeless body, ugly, inglorious, without form. This teaches us a lot.

– Question from a TV viewer: “In my prayer book there is the prayer of St. Silouan of Athos. I’ll read it, it’s short: “Merciful Lord, by the Holy Spirit teach us Your humility. Lord, do not let me dream of myself as the best of people, but think of myself as the worst of all and not condemn anyone, but judge strictly.” How to understand? “Don’t judge” I understand, but what does “judge strictly” mean?

– We, of course, are not saints of God, we are weak, but Saint Silouan left us instructions, and, based on this experience of communication, our own meager personal experience, we can understand that it is not by chance that different words are put here. “Do not judge” - of course, we are talking about our neighbor. It’s like in the prayer of Ephraim the Syrian: so that you don’t judge a stranger or your brother. And “judge strictly” - here, in all likelihood, we are talking only about ourselves. About self-criticism. We can only judge ourselves strictly, because we have no right to judge anyone else. Anyone other than you is a servant of God, and only God can judge him. Who are you to judge someone else's slave? But you have to be strict with yourself. In this sense, “judge strictly” - watch yourself, your speeches, words, actions and be strict with yourself.

– The question is quite complex, but important, just in continuation of the thoughts we were talking about: “A young woman began to go to church, confessed to the sin of an unregistered marriage, the priest did not allow her to take Communion for this reason. She died about six months ago. This desire to receive communion will no longer bring any benefit or will it at least be counted in some way?”

– You see, strictly speaking, we cannot allow a person in such a state to receive Communion. This is not just an unmarried marriage, this is an illegal relationship even by earthly standards. There are many reasons, especially now, when, for example, the Soviet Union has collapsed, and in order to marry a citizen of some sovereign republic, one must go through whole ordeals. Well, when such a situation arises, we discuss it with people, with a specific person, with a specific couple. I know specific cases when the priest blesses because people came and expressed their firm readiness and determination to live together legally, but due to earthly obstacles they now do not have this opportunity. There is even just a receipt - you went, submitted a request to the immigration service, they will write you the first document stating that you have taken this step. Do you understand? This is already determination, it is shown.

Naturally, we cannot get married at this time, but we can already give communion to a person, because the family is already there, they already have children in common, this is not fornication in a certain sense, this is a real family, only this family lacks paper in Registry office. I say this very seriously, because there are people who, with the fear of God and with faith, want to receive communion. It is desirable for all of us to have this feeling of fear of God, trepidation for Communion, therefore we, priests, should not be such strict Pharisees - everything is according to the letter of the Law. We are not accountants, not notaries; we are shepherds of the Christian Church. Therefore, in each case, the priest should carefully look into the person’s soul. There are moments when the priest does not have the right to do something, does not have the competence, for this there is a bishop, and then people need to be sent to the bishop - the bishop can bless here. In each individual case, the person must be sent to the bishop.

– Even if the marriage is unmarried?

- Yes. But you see that there is benefit in this Communion, that a person longs to receive communion, and if it is fear for the sake of a mortal, then there should be no place for literalism at all, love is needed here. But the priest does not have such competence, does not have the right to decide this.

“We may not yet fully understand the situation.” It is unknown what was there.

– Here we are sitting here in armchairs and thinking, but in order to understand this situation, you need to meet a specific person and talk to him for a long time, discuss everything, see the person’s soul.

– In these questions you can often see the small tragedy of this or that person, and these small stories come to us even in two lines, sometimes it’s very painful to read these questions, sometimes it’s even incomprehensible: they’ve already answered a thousand times... But this is very important.

– I really don’t want the Church to turn into such a structure, into some kind of accounting. There is a certificate, a piece of paper - everything will be great... Still, I want us to preserve the spirit of evangelical love, the spirit of humanity, if you want...

– There are a lot of different questions, and this will be in a future program, because the time for today’s program has already run out.

– Thank you very much, dear brothers and sisters. Since Lent begins tomorrow, I would like to wish all of us that by January 7 we will all enter the Christmas holiday a little better with God’s help.

Presenter Sergey Platonov

Recorded by Elena Kuzoro

How to contact a priest correctly

When meeting a priest, it is not customary to greet him as an ordinary layman. You need to say: “Bless!” (“Bless, father” or “Father, bless!”), while folding your hands in a cross shape in front of you. When accepting the blessing, you must kiss the priest’s right hand. This should not be done when meeting with deacons and monks who are not invested with the priestly rank - only priests and bishops can bless (you can read about ranks in the church here).

New Christians are sometimes confused by the custom of kissing the hand of priests. Here you need to understand that it is not the priest who actually blesses people, but Christ himself. We apply our lips to His wounds received from the nails. The priest can also bless from a distance, making the sign of the cross with his fingers. Or lay a blessing hand on the bowed head of a Christian. It would be a mistake if, before taking the blessing from the priest, the parishioner begins to baptize himself.

It is more appropriate for parishioners to address the priest as “you,” even if they have friendly, warm relations, especially in the presence of strangers. Speech and gestures should convey respect and decorum. It is necessary to exclude rude words or jargon with which the speech of a worldly person is so replete. You cannot show familiarity; your gaze should be meek and humble. In a conversation, you need to listen more than talk; you should remember that the Lord Jesus Christ himself often expresses his will through the priest.

If there are personal problems that cannot be announced publicly, a parishioner can approach the priest in private and ask his question

How to avoid conversations in church if you are not alone, but with a child?

Since children in church are both a reverent and sore subject, here are some tips for believing parents.

1. From early childhood, instill in your child reverence for sacred things.
2. If the child cannot behave calmly throughout the entire service, then bring him only to Communion. 15 minutes of peace and quiet are better than 2.5 hours of sobbing throughout the entire church, when you can no longer hear either the priest or the choir.
3. When the baby cries, take him outside. This will be a lesser sin than distracting everyone present in the temple from prayer.
4. If the child is already three years old, then conduct introductory conversations with him. What is a temple, why is it called the house of God, how to behave in church and why, what is Communion. Adapt this as much as possible to the child’s perception, but in no case resort to intimidation: if you behave badly, God will punish you. Try to convey to the child that God loves him, but if he behaves badly in church, this greatly upsets the Lord.

In this video, Archpriest Evgeny Popichenko calls conversations in church one of the types of people-pleasing:

What did Ambrose of Optina mean?

To avoid this, many churches post warnings: “Sorrow is sent to those who talk in the temple.” These words are attributed to the Monk Ambrose of Optina. But how to understand their meaning and is it worth “intimidating” others?

Yes, Ambrose of Optina taught his children with similar words:

Many sorrows are sent to those who speak in the temple

What did he mean? Is it possible that this kind of almighty God will be angry for talking in the temple and will punish you, as, for example, depicted in this cartoon?

Archpriest Alexei Uminsky says that such an understanding is blasphemy against God.

It is not God who punishes man with sorrows and illnesses, but man who punishes himself. It seems like such a minor offense, just think, he said during the service. Are they silent on the choir, don’t the clergy in the altar communicate with each other? He communicates, but only about questions that have arisen in the service.

It is unlikely that they talk about how their legs hurt during the service, complain about the high cost of pills, make comments to neophytes, or greet their acquaintances throughout the church. Therefore, we must be very careful with words, especially those spoken in the house of God.

Will anything change if your remarks are heard a couple of hours later, when the service ends and everyone leaves the church?

If we violate the triumph of congregational prayer by talking in church, then we insult God. We sin, which means we move further and further away from God. And this is the main reason for our sorrows.

Therefore, we need to understand the meaning of the lines “Sorrows are sent to those who talk in the temple” somewhat differently. They are not sent, and those who like to talk at the wrong time send grief upon themselves .

But how can you avoid inappropriate conversations under the church vault? Here are some useful tips for this.

Guidelines for Maintaining Church Discipline

1. Try to arrive 15-20 minutes before the service starts. During this time, you will have time to calmly submit notes, light candles, and venerate the icons.
2. Take a certain place in the church and, if possible, stand there every time so that you can delve into the meaning of the service yourself and not disturb others.
3. Try to carefully follow the progress of the services, do not be distracted by details.
4. Even if you see that someone present has made a mistake, do not rush from one corner of the church to another to make a remark. This distracts your thoughts, creates additional noise and confuses someone who is unknowingly doing something wrong. Moreover, with your comments you can discourage a person from coming next time.
5. If you see relatives, acquaintances, or friends in church, then do not rush to greet them and ask about Aunt Zina’s health. Greet them with a nod of your head, and after the service, come up and chat on topics of interest on the way out.

A few words about the rules of good manners

During a visit to the theater, a person follows the rules of etiquette: he looks neat, does not wait for the third bell to take his seat, and during the performance itself tries not to disturb others and carefully monitors what is happening.

The student also adheres to discipline during the lesson, does not interfere with the teacher with his conversations, and tries to learn new material.

So why are those who come to church perplexed: how is it that talking in church is prohibited? Let's try to figure out what the church is and why a certain discipline must be observed in it.

"Let's go to the house of God"

The temple is a place of God's special presence on earth. During the service, not only parishioners and clergy are present in the church, but also the Lord Himself with angelic forces praising Him with their heavenly singing.

The clergy, choir and laity also praise God according to their own abilities. Every movement, every word in the service has its own meaning, but most important is the communion of the faithful during the Liturgy.

It is very difficult to express in words the depth of this Sacrament: a person eats bread and wine, which are miraculously transformed into the Body and Blood of Christ. By taking this divine food, a person is united with Christ. God gives Himself to man so that man can achieve holiness. In this short moment, it’s as if heaven descends to earth.

And in this general celebration and rejoicing, is there any place for conversations in the temple? No, of course not, the reader will say. But in practice everything looks different.