The meaning of the sacred ritual
Orthodox Christians greatly honor marriage concluded in the presence of the Lord God, considering this union more important than the state one. Having received God's blessing, the newlyweds enlist the support of the Almighty in a married life full of love, mutual understanding and fidelity.
Today, newlyweds are increasingly confirming their official marriage with vows before the Lord God
The meaning of the sacrament is that a married couple continues to be such in Heaven, remaining inseparable even after death. Having made a marriage vow, the newlyweds seal themselves with sacred bonds, gaining Divine protection.
For whom is the ritual prohibited?
In Russia, clergy do not have the right to perform a ceremony without first registering a marriage with government authorities. There are several other situations when weddings are prohibited:
- the newlyweds have not reached the age of majority;
- one of the couple changed gender;
- young people are relatives by blood or spirit;
- one of the spouses is not divorced at the time of the ceremony;
- atheists, adherents of another faith, or unbaptized people want to get married;
- people who have taken a vow of celibacy;
- incompetent;
- the husband or wife has had three or more divorces.
But for pregnant women it is not only possible, but even necessary, because the baby must be born in a divine union.
How to choose a date
Orthodox Christians living in Russia rarely manage to combine official painting with the sacrament of wedding. As a rule, a sacred ceremony is carried out after a certain time so that the newlyweds can test their relationship. The rite does not take place on the following days:
- Saturday;
- Tuesday;
- Thursday;
- Easter week;
- Maslenitsa;
- church holidays;
- fast;
- Christmas Holidays.
According to Orthodox believers, the best days for a wedding are:
- Our Lady of Kazan;
- Iveron Blessed Virgin Mary;
- Nicholas the Wonderworker;
- "Red hill".
In order not to make a mistake when choosing a date, we advise you to use a wedding calendar or contact your priest.
Author's advice
What should not be done after the wedding of spouses?
The requirements after the wedding do not differ from the requirements of general morality. There is no need to perceive a wedding as a duty or imposition of morality. A wedding is a marriage before God , so after the wedding you need to maintain the desire to live your whole life hand in hand with your other half.
Do not forget that the wedding ceremony is a delicate process and to understand the full picture of what is happening, you can watch the video of the wedding sacrament .
31 May 2021, 21:21
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Preparation for the wedding
It is necessary to enter into a sacred union with a pure soul, and therefore, on the eve of the ceremony, you need to undergo serious preparation.
Selection of guarantors
Most often, relatives or friends of the newlyweds become guarantors. However, the church has several requirements for witnesses. So, they should not be in a marital relationship (official or civil), nor should they be divorced. If there are none, the sacrament can be performed without them.
Fast
Three days before the ceremony, the newlyweds must undergo a strict fast. It is prohibited to consume animal products and alcoholic beverages. You cannot smoke, use foul language, or have intimate relations. Instead of entertainment, it is better to spend time together reading prayers.
Confession
The day before the wedding, the newlyweds need to confess in order to cleanse their souls before the Almighty. Having repented of their sins, spouses find inner peace and are renewed spiritually so that the marriage union can be filled with God's grace. It is also worth remembering that the priest is just an intermediary between God, and therefore you should not be afraid of him.
Participle
Before the sacred ceremony itself, young people should take communion. The Eucharist is celebrated at the morning liturgy, when the newlyweds are given the Holy Gifts from the hands of the clergyman. At the same time, it is not recommended to eat, drink, drink alcohol or smoke in the evening.
Fast
Confession
Participle
Preparing a set of attributes
A sacred ceremony is impossible without the required props. Typically, wedding attributes are sold in ready-made sets, but they can also be purchased individually.
Icons and crosses
Holy images are traditionally given to newlyweds by their parents: an icon of Jesus Christ - to the groom, an icon of the Virgin Mary - to the bride. The couple is blessed by the clergyman with these shrines during the ceremony, and later they are installed at home in a place of honor to protect and protect the family.
Any church sacrament is impossible if the participant is not baptized. Therefore, during a wedding, guests and newlyweds should wear crosses on their bodies.
Rings
According to church rules, spouses' wedding jewelry is made of different materials: the husband's is made of gold, the wife's is made of silver. The ritual involves a triple exchange of rings, and therefore the bride is left with the groom’s ring as a symbol of his protection, and the groom is left with the bride’s ring, symbolizing submission.
Today the Church allows people to deviate from strict canons and exchange rings made of the same metal.
Wedding bands can contain symbolic engraving, gemstones, prayers, dates, first or last names. Wedding rings are also allowed.
The couple's wedding jewelry is made from different materials
Candles and wine
Candles for a wedding ceremony must be blessed. It is best to buy them in a church, but ordinary ones are also suitable, which will then be blessed by the priest. To prevent hot wax from dripping onto your hands, you should take new, snow-white handkerchiefs (plain or lace).
The ceremony involves the spouses drinking wine from a common cup, which symbolizes the joy of married life. To do this, take Cahors or any other red fortified wine.
Crowns
These attributes are usually given out in the church during the sacrament, so there is no need to buy them specially. The crowns that are held over the heads of the newlyweds have several meanings:
- the young are the kings of their lives, ripe to create their own family;
- the groom represents Jesus Christ, and the bride represents the church, which unites itself with him in marriage;
- Along with happiness, marriage brings inevitable difficulties that the spouses must overcome.
Crowns are usually given out in church during the sacrament
Wedding rules
The sacred ritual has a clear sequence, consisting of several stages that gradually flow into each other.
Engagement
The ritual takes place immediately after the end of the liturgy. The spouse stands to the right of the clergyman, the spouse to the left. After fumigating with incense, the priest blesses the young people three times, who then make the sign of the cross and accept the lighted candles from the hands of the clergyman.
Reading the prayer further, the clergyman asks the Almighty for blessings for the wedding. He baptizes the newlywed couple three times, having first put a ring on the groom’s finger. Then the newlyweds exchange wedding jewelry three times, and the priest prays before the Lord for their betrothal.
Marriage vows
By tying themselves to the sacred bonds of marriage, the newlyweds solemnly swear love and fidelity. They do this in the middle of the temple, standing on a white towel spread in front of the lectern. The clergyman asks about the sincerity of intentions, voluntariness and honesty with each other, and the spouses are obliged to sincerely answer the questions posed.
Wedding
The ritual begins with the reading of three prayers, with which the clergyman asks the Almighty to bless the newlyweds. Next, the priest blesses both spouses in turn with crowns.
During the ceremony, the priest pronounces the phrase: “Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor.”
The priest blesses both spouses in turn with crowns
Reading of the Holy Scriptures and the Common Cup
The first reading is Paul's letter about family responsibilities, which is followed by Holy Scripture and a prayer for the married couple. Next comes the “Our Father,” recited by heart. By saying words of prayer, the young express their readiness to serve God, following His will. At the end, the clergyman gives the bride and groom a drink of wine. At the same time, the spouses take turns taking three sips from the offered cup.
Walking around the lectern
Taking the young couple by the right hands, the clergyman unites them and covers them with the stole, thereby giving the wife to her husband. Raising the cross, the priest makes three circles around the lectern with the newlyweds, symbolizing with this action the strength of the marriage bond. Throughout the ritual, troparia are sung, giving thanks for the conclusion of the union. The ceremony ends with the removal of crowns, bowing and a conjugal kiss.
Interview with Anastasia Makeeva: about weddings and weddings
In an exclusive interview with Wedding, actress Anastasia Makeeva spoke about the difficult preparations for the wedding, the wedding itself in Crimea, and why she and her husband Roman Malkov decided to get married.
Why did you choose Crimea for your wedding?
This is a beautiful place. I grew up by the sea and always dreamed of a beautiful ceremony, but it didn’t work out. Apparently, I was waiting for the right man who would agree to fulfill my dream. When they warned me that there would be rain, I still didn’t agree to the tent. I am a fatalist and thought, come what may. I wanted to create the atmosphere of palace halls in the open air. And it worked. Organizing the wedding fell entirely on our shoulders because the organizers we contacted let us down. As a result, two weeks before the wedding we abandoned the agency. We ordered all the structures, arches with large crystal chandeliers, a rotunda-shaped arch, and the family coat of arms from our friends at the chandelier factory in St. Petersburg.
There was a beautiful white and silver symbol of our family, which was present everywhere: on the cake, napkins, cufflinks that I gave to my husband before the wedding. We even invited a florist from Moscow. All this was not easy, the holiday was on the verge of collapse. We even had to bring some of the flowers from Moscow. I chose white flowers - carnations, peonies, jasmine. There were crystal chandeliers, crystal threads, glass balls. It rained everywhere in Crimea, except for the place where our wedding took place. And only during the wedding dance, when the chorus began in the song: “Together, in the rain, we will survive everything in the world and someday die on the same day,” the rain began to fall. And by the end of our wedding dance, it stopped without getting the dress wet or ruining the makeup.
Tell us about the concept of the wedding, the format of the celebration.
The concept of our wedding is tenderness, snow-white shades, colors. There was a silver mirrored path along which the groom and I walked, a beautiful arch in the form of a rotunda against the backdrop of the sea, open-air chandeliers that glowed in the evening, specially made candlesticks, embroidered napkins. My father led me to the altar. At the ceremony itself there was a black tie dress code, after which you could change into comfortable clothes. We had a wedding on May 29, and a wedding on May 30. It so happened that during the wedding we were fasting, so there was one plate of fish, cucumbers, tomatoes, radishes and Crimean onions on the table. There is Coca-Cola in the glasses. We were absolutely ready for the sacrament of wedding, we abstained in terms of intimate life and foul language. But they got married according to all laws.
Initially we wanted an intimate wedding for 30 people. But it turned out that there were a lot of friends, and the number of guests grew to eighty. The ceremony was so touching that everyone cried and laughed. First, we said vows, why we chose each other, what we value each other for in front of everyone present. And then they sang a song based on the poems of Marina Tsvetaeva, “Don’t part with your loved ones,” and sent a message to all lovers to take care of each other. This is our family motto.
What moments do you remember from the wedding?
The whole wedding was like a real fairy tale. I had a long dress with a huge train. Then I changed into a lighter dress, which I wore throughout the wedding. My husband didn’t want to dance at all, but then he met me halfway. And the way we learned the dance, how we could drive a car between cities, stop at a gas station, turn on the speaker and repeat it, it was so touching and even more moving than the dance itself at the wedding. Roman was very embarrassed, but still overcame his embarrassment. A funny thing happened with the bouquet. All the unmarried girls lined up, and our friend, who was passing behind them at that time, caught the bouquet. And then my friend ran up and took the bouquet from him with the words: “You don’t need it anyway.”
What was the most difficult part of the preparation?
The most difficult part of the preparation was the specifics of the venue. This is Crimea, this is a monopoly, this is a peninsula. Even decorative elements were brought from Moscow. Or, for example, renting equipment, which we also brought from Moscow.
Tell us about the wedding. Why did you decide to get married?
We wanted to get married almost immediately when we decided to get married. This is a very important step for us. Despite my problems with childbearing, we are confident that after the wedding everything will work out for us. At the wedding, I asked all the guests not to post anything. But one of my friends posted a wedding dance, cake and more on social media. I saw this at three o’clock in the morning, got upset, asked her to delete everything, but some of it still remained. The next day I couldn’t calm down, and we were late for the wedding. I even thought that the priest would refuse, but he was able to accept us after other couples. Due to the fact that we were late and entered the temple three hours later, we got extraordinary photographs in which a ray of light illuminated only my husband and me. During the wedding, at first I had fear, trepidation, excitement, slight dizziness, then grace.
What was included in the entertainment program?
We had a cover band from Krasnodar, whose performance was given to me by a childhood friend. They played jazz at the welcome. My friends were also photographers. My guests and childhood friends sang. We didn’t have a lot of money to organize the wedding, but fortunately, friends helped, to whom I am grateful for this. When we danced the wedding dance, on the second verse the letters “A” and “R” - Anastasia and Roman - lit up. Only thanks to my friends it turned out to be a beautiful holiday that will remain in my memory forever.
What wedding traditions did you have at your wedding?
Naturally, we had cake. We sold the first piece for 55 thousand rubles. There was also a touching moment of lighting the fire at home. Our mothers stood on both sides, their candles were burning, and they lit our family candle and passed it to us. We had the lighting of sparklers and a procession of guests, a dance battle, and toasts from parents. I didn't want to burden anyone or overload the program. Everything was thought out so that everyone would be comfortable, so that people could communicate, listen to music, and dance. There was an easy format that allowed people to relax without stress.
What was the most touching moment for you?
Probably humor. My husband has a very specific finger structure. At the wedding, I couldn’t put a ring on my finger because it was swollen. And then I licked my finger and put the ring on. The guests received this with applause. Then there was a whole flash mob of videos, where married couples supported us and made the same videos. It was very funny. My husband also looked like a movie star. This is perhaps the first wedding in my memory where the groom looked more beautiful than the bride. And the most touching thing, probably, were our vows, the song “Don’t part with your loved ones” and the wedding dance.
Text: Tatyana Veselova.
Photo: Egor Nikolaev and Elena Glazunova.
Traditions and rituals
All traditions associated with the sacrament of weddings are designed to protect newlyweds from evil spirits that could disrupt the concluded union. Thus, the towel on which the newlyweds made their marriage vows should be kept at home and not given to anyone else, because it symbolizes the life path of a young family.
At the end of the ritual, it is customary to bring a symbolic gift to the temple in the form of fresh bread wrapped in a new linen towel. After the ceremony, it is advisable to store wedding candles next to the towel and light them only when absolutely necessary.
A wedding ring falling on the floor during the ceremony is considered a bad omen. As a rule, such an event promises a quick divorce or the premature death of one of the spouses.
After the ceremony, it is advisable to store wedding candles next to the towel
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Orthodox prohibitions in the church
The church charter is full of strict rules regarding the conduct of sacred sacraments. So, during a wedding there are several prohibitions:
- wedding dresses cannot be given, sold or given for temporary use;
- the bride is forbidden to be in the temple with her head uncovered;
- hairstyles should not be too complex or high;
- if the wedding dress is complemented by a veil, then it must cover the top of the head;
- Do not apply too much makeup or use lipstick;
- the groom should not wear any hats;
- It is strictly forbidden for unbaptized people to take part in the sacrament.
A wedding ceremony is an exciting and important ritual. It is not for nothing that several days are given to prepare for it, so that the newlyweds have time to realize the importance of the upcoming event.
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What to do before the wedding
A prerequisite for carrying out the wedding sacrament is special preparation on the part of the bride and groom. Immediately before the ceremony, several days before, you need to confess and receive communion, and both confession and communion can be done both in this church and in any other.
Before this, it is necessary to observe fasting, which according to custom lasts seven days; in some cases it is allowed to fast not 7, but 3 days. It is also necessary that both spouses become witnesses to the liturgy, but the service should not be for the deceased.
