Prayer for a deceased son

Fear of death

One of the greatest and most exciting mysteries for man is death. The departure of loved ones often plunges people into deep despair and hopeless despondency. And this is not surprising. After all, man was originally created immortal for an eternal joyful life in Paradise next to God. Therefore, prayer for a deceased son is an important consolation for grief-stricken parents.

“God created man for incorruptibility and made him the image of His eternal existence; but through the envy of the devil death entered the world, and those who belong to his inheritance experience it” (Wis. 2-23,24).

Death entered the first man at the moment of his fall and is an inevitable consequence of life.

Death is not the end

However, the view of death changes radically with the coming to earth of Jesus Christ. His voluntary atoning sacrifice for all humanity made people heirs of eternal life in the Kingdom of God.

Christ Himself says: “...I am the resurrection and the life; He who believes in Me, even if he dies, will live; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die” (John 11:25-26).

Therefore, for an Orthodox Christian, grief over the loss of a loved one becomes not an inconsolable grief. Instead comes the quiet sadness of temporary separation.

“Holy Scripture shows us what we lose through death in this life and what we gain in the future: we gain eternal, painless life - a life in which there is no confusing passion, no withering envy, no offending troubles, in which there is no decrepit old age and infancy. weaknesses, but an ever-blooming state, not subject to any changes, a blissful stay, without any limits; an immaculate life, removed from all worldly temptations” (Reverend Leo of Optina).

Prayer of the living - help for the dead

The Lord Jesus Christ said: “God is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for with Him all live” (Luke 20:38).

People who are healthy on earth need prayer. But prayer help is needed to an even greater extent for the deceased.

“Just as we pray for the living, who are no different from the dead, so we can pray for the dead” (St. John Chrysostom).

The soul, having been separated from the body, can no longer change anything in its posthumous fate. She is deprived of the opportunity to do good deeds and bear the fruits of repentance. And only the sincere prayer of the living for the repose of the dead can help the soul to become at the right hand of the Lord at the Last Judgment.

This is how Righteous John of Kronstadt speaks about it:

“Some say: why remember the names of the dead or the living when praying for them? God, as omniscient, himself knows these names, and also knows the needs of everyone. But those who say this forget or do not know the importance of prayer, do not know how important the word spoken from the heart is - they forget that the justice of God and the mercy of God are bowed down by our heartfelt prayer, which the Lord, in His goodness, credits as if to the dead or living themselves as merit , as members of the one body of the Church."

How to properly pray to parents for deceased children

In Orthodoxy, the burial of the deceased and subsequent commemoration are strictly regulated. In general, the rules for a parent who has lost a child and children commemorating their parents are the same. But it is better to go to church and receive instructions on how to properly pray for a deceased child from a priest. Moreover, the loss of a child is a very serious reason to spiritually turn to God.

The first forty days after death are the most important period. It is not for nothing that mourning is traditionally worn for forty days. After all, at this time the soul goes through ordeals, and it is decided where the deceased will find his eternal life: in Paradise or in fiery hell. This is a time of increased prayer and remembrance. Mourning helps you focus on this thought so as not to be distracted by everyday thoughts. Relatives can intercede for a soul undergoing trials through their prayer and good deeds - alms, distribution of the deceased’s belongings, donations to churches and monasteries, work in the church.

The third and ninth days of remembrance are especially noted during this period. According to Orthodox teaching, it is believed that on the third day after death, the soul goes through aerial ordeals, where it is subjected to torture by spirits who torment it with sinful thoughts, deeds and actions that occurred in life. To help the deceased in this difficult hour, you should order prayer in the temple.

The ninth day is also very important, since it is believed that it is at this moment that the deceased appears before God. Again, it is important to pray on your own at this time and to serve memorial services in the temple. On the fortieth day, the soul appears before God for the last time to finally determine the place where it awaits the Last Judgment. It is believed that on this day it is necessary to remember the deceased at a liturgy and memorial service.

In the first forty days after death, the deceased is considered newly deceased - after all, he has just set out on his final journey to God, and his further fate in eternal life is still being decided. After this period, the deceased is called blessed. It is important that no funeral services are held for infants, because a child at this age is completely innocent and sinless. The memorial service is read to atone for the sins of the deceased.

The main days of remembrance are death anniversaries. These days, it is recommended to go to the cemetery to remember the deceased there. Before this, it is important to visit the church and also submit a commemoration.

When praying at home for a deceased child, you need to remember that there are periods when commemoration is not desirable - this is Bright Easter Week. Traditionally, the dead are commemorated next week, on Radonitsa.

Prayer for the dead is not witchcraft

Warm prayer, imbued with faith and hope in the mercy of the Lord, is a continuation of our love for our deceased relatives. This is our tribute to their memory and respect. However, one should not be mistaken that the mere reading of certain prayers will lead the deceased to heavenly abode. This is not some magical conspiracy.

According to Christ: “...The kingdom of heaven is taken by force...” (Matthew 11:12). Therefore, the sincere prayer of an Orthodox Christian must be supported by the fulfillment of Christ’s commandments. It is necessary to give alms, do good deeds and show complete trust in God's Providence.

“There is still, truly there is an opportunity if we want to ease the punishment of a deceased sinner. If we make frequent prayers for him and give alms, then even if he was unworthy in himself, God will hear us. If for the sake of the Apostle Paul He saved others and for the sake of some He spared others, then how can He not do the same for us? (St. John Chrysostom).

Why can't the dead help themselves?

While a person is alive, he can always repent, which means he can receive forgiveness from God. But after death, a person’s soul can no longer intercede for itself before the Lord, but the living can.

How and where the soul of the deceased will live in the future depends on a combination of three main factors - on the Grace of the Lord, on how the person lived in this world and on our prayers (petitions, requests, actions...) for the deceased.

Our prayers for the newly deceased are especially important, since it is within 40 days after death that the further spiritual fate of a person is determined. Will the soul go to Hell or Heaven? It largely depends on our prayers. When praying for the newly deceased, we ask God for mercy towards the deceased, giving a reason to “relax” the punishment.

But even after forty days we can improve the situation of the souls of the departed. Our every prayer for the deceased, every prayer service for him is an occasion for the Lord to improve the situation of the soul of the deceased.

Prayer for deceased children

Parents who have lost children experience a special kind of pain. The death of someone to whom you once gave life seems meaningless and unnatural.

However, an Orthodox Christian must remember that the Lord takes a person to Eternity at the most necessary moment. Precisely when he is ready for this eternal life next to Christ.

An example is the case from the biography of the martyr Huar. After his martyrdom in the 4th century, the righteous widow Cleopatra buried the relics of the saint. Then she erected a temple at the burial site. Soon after this, her young son, a valiant warrior, died suddenly. The inconsolable mother, in bitter tears, fell on the coffin with the relics of the martyr Huar and begged for her son to be returned to her. After much sobbing, Cleopatra seemed to fall asleep and saw her son next to the holy martyr. Both of them were dressed in shining clothes with golden crowns on their heads.

Then Cleopatra realized that the premature death of her son was timely for his inheritance of the Kingdom of Heaven. After this, she distributed her property and began to live at the temple of the martyr Huar. The rest of the widow's life was sanctified by fasting and prayer for her deceased son.

Every bereaved parent can choose which path to take. Some people let grief overcome them and fall into severe despondency. Or you can be like the righteous Cleopatra and fervently pray for the immortal soul of your child.

Why you need to pray for the dead

Physical death is not the end of the soul's existence. After all, according to Christian teaching, God takes a person from the sinful earth when he is ready for it. The posthumous fate of a person depends on his life. From how kind, honest, righteous he was. The deceased himself is no longer able to influence the decision of the Heavenly Judge, but relatives can ease the fate of the deceased with their petitions.

In addition, a sincere heartfelt prayer to God will help cope with the suffering of an inconsolable parent who has lost a child. God is merciful and kind-hearted. Jesus Christ himself accepted the death penalty for the human race. And he opened the gates of Paradise for all the righteous. Therefore, dying should not become a cause of despair and despondency. The more there is crying for the deceased on earth, the more difficult it is for him in the other world.

Therefore, it is important to remember that the living can help the deceased only through prayer, pious remembrance and humble love. It is important to learn to humble yourself and accept the will of God as truth. An Orthodox Christian relies on Christ and prays for the immortal soul of his child, so that the merciful Heavenly Father will accept the child in his Kingdom.

Some believe that death is salvation from spiritual death. Because a dying child does not have the same sins as an adult. This is the wisdom of God. Many lives of saints confirm that early death can bring salvation to the soul. The work of those who remained on earth is prayer and remembrance.

Mother's prayer for her deceased son

There is probably no greater grief than that experienced by a mother who has lost her son. It seems that nothing on earth can dull the pain of loss. However, in the words of Christ: “what is impossible with men is possible with God” (Luke 18:27). Only surrendering oneself into the hands of the Lord and trusting His Divine Providence will provide healing from pain. Here are the words of consolation in such a situation that Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov spoke:

“Rely on the mercy of our Creator, show submission to His Holy will and be comforted by the hope that your dear son, through temporary death, came to Eternal Life, where we too will one day be called. You repay him the debt of your parental love - by caring for the remembrance of his soul, by church prayers and alms. And this should console you with the hope of God’s mercy, that the Lord grants him such commemoration, this is his best legacy here, passing with him into the future...”

The most important thing a mother can do both for herself and for her deceased child is a mother’s prayer for her deceased son. It’s not for nothing that people uttered deep wisdom: “A mother’s prayer will reach you from the bottom of the sea.” There are a huge number of miracles known that confirm the power of maternal prayer.

One of the most famous examples is the feat of Saint Monica, the mother of Blessed Augustine. Seeing the sinful life of her son, she tearfully prayed to God to guide him on the Christian path. And the Lord did not leave the fervent mother’s prayer unanswered. Blessed Augustine not only accepted Christianity, but became one of the Fathers of the Church.

And today there is evidence of the saving power of maternal prayer. For example, the Orthodox Newspaper of April 12, 2021 cites the case of a priest’s son. Being a mountaineering enthusiast, the young man went on another expedition. Suddenly at night the mother seemed to hear her son’s voice: “Help! Help! Waking up her husband, she began to fervently pray to God. When he returned, his son said that the insurance broke and he almost crashed on sharp rocks. Miraculously, at the most decisive moment, the rope stopped swinging, and his friends were able to pull him out.

When to read

You can come to church and light a candle for the repose of the dead and mention them in your prayer on any day, without waiting for memorable days.
But there are customs and traditions that require obligatory commemoration. It is important to read a daily prayer for the newly deceased for up to 40 days. During this period, the soul of the deceased son needs to find peace, know Heaven and appear before the Lord. You also need to pray for your son on the third, ninth and fortieth day after his death.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUtr1MlftTA

No one knows what awaits a person in the afterlife. But according to Orthodox tradition, it is believed that the soul of the deceased lives next to his body for the first three days or visits places dear to his heart during his lifetime. Three days later she flies off to the afterlife. Until the ninth day, she gets acquainted with the tabernacles of paradise, and then prepares to appear before the Court of the Lord. This happens only on the 40th day after death.

But even after this period one cannot stop asking the Lord for mercy towards the soul of the deceased son. Each prayer service for his soul provides an opportunity for the Lord to improve its situation.

Praying for the souls of the departed is the sacred duty of all, which falls on the remaining living relatives. By reading prayers and praying for deceased relatives, you can give them the only good that they expect in the afterlife - this is the remembrance of the Lord himself.

The mother must read a prayer for her deceased son every day until the fortieth day. But on certain days there are special commemorations that should not be missed.

The first time the deceased is remembered in church is on the third day after the person’s death. The timing was not chosen by chance - it is connected with the Holy Trinity and the time of the resurrection of Jesus. The belief that the soul, after death, visits places dear to it, accompanied by an Angel, did not arise out of nowhere and long before the advent of Orthodoxy.

Therefore, immediately after the death of your son, you need to start reading with a request for mercy for his soul. Often sudden death is associated with an accident or in a dream when a person is not prepared for it. His spirit will rush among living people, not seeing the path to the Kingdom of Heaven. That is why a mother should read prayers for her deceased son immediately and not wait until the third day.

The prayer for the deceased son is strong and sincere, so it is read in one’s own words. Not a single ready-made text can express the pain that is present in the soul of a mother who has survived her own child. If you don’t have the strength to gather your own thoughts and pray, you can use ready-made options.

The ninth day after death according to the Orthodox faith is associated with the number of angelic ranks. It is on these days that Angels come to the Lord to ask for mercy for the soul of the deceased and forgiveness for sins committed during life.

On this day, you definitely need to pray for your son, because his soul begins to feel fear and sadness about its fate. Only a natural mother is able to reach the Lord, asking for goodness for her son’s soul. The text of the prayer can be anything, the main thing is simple and understandable. Better in Russian: “Merciful God! Do not leave the soul of your servant (name) without forgiveness and joy, because there is no one who has sinned. Amen".

The death of a person is a tragedy for his family and friends. Sometimes it seems that nothing can be done to help the deceased, except for a funeral, a wake, a monument at the grave and the good memory of other people. But actually it is not.

Since ancient times, Christians have spoken about the importance of prayer for the dead. It can be short and in your own words, it can be silent when a person cannot speak because of his grief, but it can also be long.

Many holy fathers themselves composed prayers for the dead. According to legend, the first example of a prayer of permission, which is placed in the hand of the deceased, was written by the Monk Theodosius of Pechersk in the second half of the 11th century at the request of one of the Kyiv princes.

Even earlier, in the 8th century, the famous theologian and defender of holy icons, St. John of Damascus, in memory of his deceased friend, composed 13 funeral stichera, which can still be heard at funeral services. However, the Church takes care of a person even at the most tragic moment of his life, when the soul is separated from the body - for this there is a special prayer for people who are in long and painful agony.

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh spoke wonderfully about the Church’s love for the human body, which manifests itself during the funeral service: “We find this love, this care, this reverent attitude towards the body in Orthodoxy; and this is reflected in a surprising way in the funeral service. We surround this body with love and attention;

According to the teachings of the Church, it is very important to pray for a newly deceased (recently deceased person) in the first forty days from the moment of death, since at this time the soul of a person goes to either heaven or hell before the Last Judgment, but prayers for the dead are needed even after this period. After death, a Christian cannot independently alleviate his fate, but the prayers of loved ones, commemoration at the liturgy and the distribution of alms with a request to remember a person can change a person’s fate at the Last Judgment.

Once in the Kiev-Pechersk Monastery they buried a monk who had many unconfessed sins. Other monks, together with the abbot, saw at night how their careless brother was tormented in hell. The amazed monks began to pray for the sinner, and in new visions the brother’s face became lighter and more peaceful. In the end, Christ forgave this man’s sins, and he went to heaven.

There are many ways to pray for the dead: you can submit a note to the proskomedia for commemoration at the liturgy, order a memorial service or a short litiya, or you can pray at home.

Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom your deceased servant, my child (name), and create for him eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord.
I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus!
You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

When do they pray for repose?

The Orthodox religion defines death as the beginning of a new, eternal life. All earthly life is built on preparing the soul for heavenly life through our actions, good deeds and prayers. However, no one on earth can know where the soul of a loved one or loved one is. Therefore, prayer for the repose of the relatives begins to be performed immediately after death, so that the Lord forgives his sins and grants the deceased salvation from hell.

Prayers begin to be recited when a person is near death, which are called “Proceeding the departure of the soul from the body.” They are aimed at asking for relief from the torment of separation of the soul from the body. After death and before the funeral, day and night, the relatives of the deceased read the psalter, which is believed to bring relief to the soul and relatives of the deceased. In addition, on the day of death, a special prayer rule is ordered for the deceased in the church - the sorokoust. Immediately before the burial, the body of the deceased is buried in the church, where everyone prays for the repose of the soul.

At the first wake, immediately after the cemetery, they repeatedly pray for the repose of the newly deceased. The Church does not allow Orthodox Christians to drink alcohol in a cemetery or during a funeral service; this defiles the souls of the deceased. On memorial days, it is recommended to come to the temple, give notes of repose in the shop, pray and light candles for the crucifix. Of the first days, the most important is the fortieth day after death. It is believed that on this day the soul appears for judgment before God, so it is recommended to gather a large memorial table and invite all friends to help the soul of the deceased with common prayers for repose.

The prayer for repose is read during the morning and evening prayers. On Saturday, in every Orthodox church a general prayer is performed for the forgiveness of sins of the dead - a memorial service or lithium. Of course, the priest can pray for the souls of the departed every day; a detailed schedule can be found in the temple. The Church does not pray only for the souls of suicides. God does not forgive people who have committed this terrible sin. However, due to the ban on the constant commemoration of the souls of people who have committed suicide, the church still makes a reservation in the form of one day a year on which a prayer is still made for the repose of the soul of the deceased, thereby alleviating his suffering.

So, prayer for the repose of the departed is performed daily. Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased is aimed at easing the fate of the soul and forgiveness of sins committed during life. The Orthodox Church teaches the importance of praying for our dead. When remembering your loved ones who have passed away, read a short prayer; it will give peace to their souls.

Prayer for dead children

Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of Thy eternal servant (Thy servant) (name), and as he is good and a lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, exonerating him (her) at Your holy second coming into the communion of Your eternal blessings, for the sake of which there is only faith in You, the true God and Lover of mankind.
For Thou art the resurrection and life and rest of Thy servant (Thy servant) (name), Christ our God. And we send glory to You, with Your beginningless Father and with the Most Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, Amen.

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Who can you pray to when casting spells?

At a difficult and difficult moment in life, when a parent is faced with an incredible tragedy, you can ask for help from any saints and martyrs. But if you want to ask for inner peace and tranquility for the soul of a deceased child, you should seek magical prayer assistance from:

Jesus Christ, who hears everyone who prays;
Great Martyr and Healer Troparion;
Saint Julian of Kenomania, who is the protector of infants and their souls;
Archimandrite John, from whom you can ask for redemption;
Holy Martyr Huar, who protects the souls of those who did not have time to baptize;
To the Most Holy Theotokos, who protects children and their mothers.

It is worth praying to the one to whom your heart lies closest. A woman can intuitively feel who she wants to turn to and with whom to build an invisible dialogue that affects her personal maternal tragedy.