Book of the Word. Volume II. Spiritual Awakening read online for free, author St. Paisius the Svyatogorets

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Troparion to St. Paisius the Holy Mountain

Voice 5. Similar to: Meaningful Word:

Receiving the Divine fire of love, / you were all God with a superior feat, / and you were the consolation of many people, / you punished with divine words, / you worked wonders with prayers, / you were God’s Paisier. nose, / and now you pray unceasingly // for the whole world, Reverend.

Kontakion

Voice 8. Like: Scrambled:

Lively on earth like an angel, / you shone with love, like Saint Paisius, / the great affirmation of the monks, / the leader of those faithful to the life of the saint, / the sweetest consolation of the universe appeared to you, / For this reason we call you: // Rejoice, universal father.

Preface

Beginning in 1980, Elder Paisios told us about the coming difficult times. He often repeated that perhaps we too would experience much of what is described in the Apocalypse. With his instructions, he sought to awaken good concern in us, so that we would intensify the spiritual struggle and resist the spirit of indifference, which, as the elder could see, was gradually penetrating into the depths of monasticism. With his conversations, the elder tried to help us get rid of selfishness and overcome infirmities so that our prayer would have power. “Because of weaknesses,” he said, “prayer becomes weak, and then we cannot help either ourselves or people. The signalmen are falling into disrepair. And if the signalmen don’t work, then the rest of the soldiers are captured by the enemy.”

In the preface to volume I of the “Words” of the blessedly deceased elder, entitled “With pain and love about modern man,” it is explained how the material from which the collection of “Words” of Elder Paisius of the Svyatogorets began to emerge, was collected and systematized. This second volume of “Words,” entitled “Spiritual Awakening,” includes the elder’s words on topics relevant to today’s reality. These words call us to constant vigilance and prepare us for the difficult situations in which we may have to find ourselves. After all, we have already seen what the elder often said: “We will go through thunderstorms - one after another. Now we will continue like this for several years: general fermentation is everywhere.”

This Volume II is divided into five parts. The first part deals with the general indifference and irresponsibility that has spread in our era, and that in the current situation, the duty of a conscious Christian is to help others through self-correction, prudent behavior, profession of faith and prayer. “I don’t call for taking up placards,” says the elder, “but raising your hands to God.” In the second part of the book, Father Paisius, without limiting the reader to a call to only one feat, kindles zeal for spiritual work, after which everyone is left with a struggle corresponding to his strength and curiosity, aimed at living in an earthly paradise, that is, life in Christ. The third part talks about the short-term dictatorship of the Antichrist, which will give Christians a favorable opportunity once again, after Holy Baptism, to consciously confess Christ, go to the feat and rejoice in advance at Christ’s victory over Satan. As the elder said, even the saints would envy such an opportunity: “Many of the saints would ask to live in our era in order to accomplish a feat. But this befell us... We are unworthy - at least we admit it.” In order for us to live such a difficult time as we should, we need to especially develop courage and a spirit of sacrifice. The source from which one should draw strength to overcome any difficulties is discussed in the fourth part of this volume, dedicated to Divine Providence, faith, trust in God and the help given from Him. And finally, in the fifth part of the book, the necessity and power of heartfelt prayer is emphasized, “even if there is a strong weapon” to trample upon the increasingly spreading evil. The elder calls the monks to a state of full combat readiness, similar to the readiness of soldiers in wartime. He encourages monks to constantly help the world through prayer and try to protect the true spirit of monasticism from change, to preserve the leaven for future generations. The final chapter defines the deepest meaning of life and emphasizes the need for repentance.

The measure of the words and actions of the elder is, as always, reasoning. In the following chapters we will see that in one case Father Paisius does not interrupt his prayer, no matter how impatient pilgrims knock with a rivet at the gate of his cell, shouting: “Stop praying, Geronda, God will not be offended!” - and in another - he goes out into the world, because his absence from a popular protest demonstration may be misunderstood and cause harm to the Church. In some situations, the elder, inflamed with indignation at God, resists blasphemy, while in another, he only silently prays for the blasphemer. Therefore, the reader should not rush to conclusions until he has carefully read the book to the end. We should be especially careful in using quotes from the teachings of the elder, because taken out of context they can lead our interlocutors to erroneous conclusions. It should be borne in mind: the reason for what Father Paisius spoke was always some specific incident or question, and the elder’s speech was addressed to a specific person, the salvation of whose soul was the ultimate goal of the speaker.

Those who knew Elder Paisius remember the tenderness that appeared in the heart from his words, no matter how strict they sometimes were. This happened because the elder’s task was always to heal evil, and not to brand it with shame. He did not pillory his interlocutor’s passion, but helped him free his soul from it. Therefore, the same words of an elder may have a different and perhaps not healing effect if they are deprived of their original relationship with heartache and love for the interlocutor. Instead of Divine consolation and a sense of reliability, they can instill doubt and fear in the hearts, or lead to extremes. But our elder was not a man of one-sidedness or extremes; he was concerned that goodness should be shared kindly - so that it would be beneficial. He, of course, never hesitated to speak the truth, but spoke it with reason; seeing the desecration of the shrine, he could be captured by the flames of divine indignation; he foreshadowed the terrible events that were about to happen, but the image of his behavior did not cause fear or anxiety. On the contrary, his speech conveyed to you Easter hope and joy, but it was the joy that follows sacrifice, the joy that makes a person akin to Christ. If you are related to Christ, if you participate in the mysterious life of the Church and keep His commandments, then you are no longer afraid of anything: “neither devils, nor torment.” As the elder himself says in his usual bright and cheerful tone: “When you throw out your “I”, Christ rushes into you.” The task of all spiritual life is precisely this, therefore Father Paisius pays special attention to one of the dangers that await a Christian: without developing the spirit of sacrifice in oneself, it is impossible to become a participant in the life of Christ. Without sacrifice, one can only become a formal Christian, a person without inner life. Some readers may be confused by the fact that in his stories the elder often refers to his own life, that he seems to easily and naturally talk about the wonderful events that he happened to experience. But it should be borne in mind that when reproducing the elder’s oral speech on paper, it is impossible to convey the difficulty with which he spoke about himself, as well as the pressure to which he was subjected for this. Sometimes it happened that the elder spoke in fits and starts with different details about one event to different sisters, and subsequently, if possible, we very timidly tried to “extract” from him information that would supplement what was missing in his narrative. Thus, Elder Paisios, during those twenty-eight years when he spiritually cared for the monastery, revealed to us (in order to help us) some of the wonderful events of his life. This was a “spiritual donation” for us. Therefore, not seeing the expected spiritual success, he was very upset, so much so that he even sometimes said: “I am fertilizing the sand.”

We thank everyone who, with respect for the word of the elder, read the following teachings before their publication and expressed their comments in connection with this, as well as those who, with their words that the elder’s teaching is addressed to the entire fullness of the Church, inspired us to continue the work we began.

We wish that through the prayers of the blessedly deceased Elder Paisius, who, according to the testimony of many, watches over us day and night and helps us with his divine love, his words collected in this volume will instill in us good concern, so that we strive with curiosity and evil retreated, and the peace of God reigned on earth. Amen.

Dormition of the Blessed Virgin Mary, 1999
Abbess of the monastery of the Holy Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian, nun Philothea with sisters in Christ

- Geronda, why are you leaving the kaliva and going into the forest?
- Where can you find silence, in the kaliva! One knocks from there, the other from here. On one slope I found a good place. If I’m healthy, I’ll set up a prayer bunker and radar there. The place is very good, just what you need for summer, with trees... I can even stand on my feet. If I can fulfill my monastic duties, then this is my joy, my food! Come sometime!..

Introduction (from the words of the elder)

“In order to get into the Council of God, you need to become a “deputy” from God, and not an organizer of warm places for yourself.”

Geronda[1], how do you look at what is happening?

- How do you look?

– What should we say, Geronda?.. You are telling us this.

“The prevailing serenity worries me.” Something is getting ready. We have not yet properly understood either the years in which we live, or the fact that we will die. I don’t know what will come of all this, the situation is very difficult. The fate of the world depends on a few people, but God is still holding the brakes. We need to pray a lot and with pain for God to intervene in what is happening. Let's tackle this with passion and begin to live spiritually. The times are very difficult. A lot of ashes, garbage, indifference have accumulated - and in order for all this to fly away, it needs to blow strongly. The old people said that the time would come when people would start kicking. And so they tear down the fences and take nothing into account. Scary! The Babylonian Pandemonium has arrived! Read the prayer of the three youths[2] and see with what humility they prayed.

And in the 82nd Psalm: O God, whoever is like You, do not remain silent...

This is what you need, otherwise don’t expect anything good. Divine intervention required.

Some European diseases are appearing and taking on an increasingly advanced form. One head of a family, a Cypriot living in England, told me: “We are in spiritual danger. We must flee England with our whole family.” You look - there a father marries his daughter, there a mother marries her son... Such things are embarrassing to say. And we sleep like gophers. I am not advocating that we take up signs, but that we turn our attention to the great danger ahead and raise our hands to God. Let's think about how we can defend ourselves from evil. You need to hold the brakes, because there is a desire to smooth everything out, level it out. Now is the time to pray in the words of the prophet: Put their princes like Oreb and Zib and Zebe and Zalman... who decided: let us inherit the sanctuary of God

[3].

There is great excitement. It's such a mess, people's heads are confused. People are like bees. If you hit the hive, the bees fly out, start buzzing “woo-hoo...” and, excited, circle around the hive. Then they will take a direction depending on what wind is blowing. If they are northern, they will return to the hive, if they are southern, they will fly away. So it is with the people, who are blown either by the “national northern” or the “national southern”, and they, the poor thing, have their heads confused. However, despite this fermentation, I feel a certain consolation, a certain confidence. The olive tree may have dried up, but it will produce new shoots. There are some Christians in whom God rests. There are still people of God, people of prayer, and the Good God tolerates us and will put everything in order again. These people's prayers leave us with hope. Do not be afraid. We as an ethnic group have survived so many thunderstorms and did not die. So, are we afraid of the storm that is about to break out? We won’t die now! God loves us. Man has hidden strength in case of need. There will be few difficult years. Only one thunderstorm.

I am not telling you this so that you will be afraid, but so that you will know where we are. For us this is a very favorable opportunity, a triumph - difficulties, martyrdom. Be with Christ, live according to His commandments and pray that you can fight back against difficulties. Leave passions so that Divine grace may come. And if good concern enters into us (about where we are and what we have to meet), then this will greatly help us take the necessary measures and prepare. Let our life be more moderate. Let's live more spiritually, be more friendly, help those who are in pain, help the poor with love, with pain, with kindness. Let's pray for good people to appear.

God will show the way out

The Good God will arrange everything in the best way, but a lot of patience and attention is needed, since often, in a hurry to untangle the tangles, people confuse them even more. God unravels with patience. What is happening now will not last long. God will take the broom! In 1830, there were many Turkish troops on the Holy Mountain, and therefore for some time there was not a single monk left in the Iviron monastery. The fathers left - some with holy relics, some to help the uprising. Only one monk came from afar to light lamps and sweep. Both inside and outside the monastery were full of armed Turks, and this poor thing, sweeping, said: “Mother of God! What will it be?” One day, praying with pain to the Mother of God, he sees a Woman approaching him, her face glowing and shining. It was the Mother of God. She takes the broom from his hand and says: “You don’t know how to sweep well, I’ll sweep it myself.” And she began to sweep, and then disappeared inside the altar. Three days later all the Turks left! The Mother of God kicked them out. What is not true, God will throw out, just as he throws a speck out of his eye with a tear. The devil works, but God also works and turns evil to good, so that good comes out of it. For example, they break a tile, and God makes a beautiful mosaic out of the fragments. Therefore, do not be upset at all, for God is above everything and above everyone, who controls everything and will put everyone in the dock to answer for what they have done, according to which everyone will receive reward from Him. Those who help good in some way will be rewarded, and those who do evil will be punished. God will eventually put everything in its place, but each of us will give an answer for what he did in these difficult years with his prayer and kindness.

Today they are trying to destroy faith and, in order for the building of faith to collapse, they are slowly removing one stone at a time. However, we are all responsible for this destruction: not only those who take out stones and destroy, but also we, who see how faith is destroyed and make no effort to strengthen it. He who pushes his neighbor to do evil will give an answer to God for this. But the one who was nearby at that time will also give an answer: after all, he saw how someone did evil to his neighbor, and did not oppose it. People easily trust a person who knows how to persuade.

- People, Geronda, are like animals...

– I don’t complain about animals. You see, animals cannot do great evil because they have no reason, while a person who has gone far from God becomes worse than the greatest beast! He does great evil. Strong vinegar is made from sour wine. Other, artificial types of vinegar are not so strong... It is more terrible when the devil enters into an alliance with a depraved person, then he does double evil to others, just as the carnal mind, when it enters into an alliance with the flesh, does greater evil to the flesh. In order for the devil to cooperate with such a person, he must count on him, this person must himself prefer evil, have it in himself.

Subsequently, God save us, these corrupters will deliberately create difficulties for us, embarrass other people and monasteries. They will become angry with the Church and monasticism for interfering with their plans. The current situation can only be resisted spiritually, and not in a worldly way. The storm will intensify a little more, throwing tin cans, garbage, everything unnecessary onto the shore, and then the situation will become clearer. And you will see how in this situation some will receive a clean bribe, while others will pay off their debts. It will turn out that the suffering experienced will not be unbearable for people, although, of course, they will not say “glory to Thee, God” either.

How God loves us! If what is happening today[4], and what is now being planned to be done, had happened twenty years ago, when people had greater spiritual ignorance, then it would have been very difficult. Now people know: the Church has become stronger. God loves man - His creation - and will take care of what he needs, if only the person himself believes and keeps His commandments.

“Cursed be he who does the Lord’s work carelessly...”

In the old days, if one of the reverent monks spent time worrying about the state of affairs in the world, then he had to be locked in a tower[5]. Now it’s the other way around: a reverent monk should be locked in a tower if he is not interested in and does not root for the state that has prevailed in the world. Because previously those who governed had God within them, whereas now many of those who govern do not believe in Him. Now there are many who seek to destroy everything: family, youth, the Church. Nowadays, to be interested and concerned about the state in which our people find themselves is a confession, for the state is at war against the Divine law. The laws it makes are against the law of God.

There are also people so indifferent that they do not recognize the Church as a Divine institution, and they treat their own people arrogantly, but in order to be idle, they say: “The Apostle Paul says that one should not be interested in worldly things” - and remain indifferent. But the Apostle Paul had something else in mind. Then the idolatrous peoples had power. Some broke with the state and believed in Christ. It was to such people that the Apostle Paul said: “Do not be concerned about the affairs of this world” [6] - so that they would separate from the world, because the whole world was idolatrous. However, from the time when Constantine the Great assumed power and Christianity won, a great Christian Tradition with churches, monasteries, art, liturgical regulations, etc. was gradually formed. And this means that we are responsible for preserving all this and not letting the enemies of the Church decompose this. I even heard confessors say: “Don’t do this!” If they had great holiness and through prayer reached such a state that they were not interested in anything, then I would kiss their feet. But now they are indifferent, because they want to be good for everyone and live happily ever after.

Indifference is impermissible even for worldly people, and even more so for spiritual people. An honest, spiritual person should not do anything with indifference. Cursed be he who does the work of the Lord carelessly...

[7] - says the prophet Jeremiah.

Chapter two. The fact that sacrifice brings joy to a person

In our era, sacrifice is rare

“Children are a complete hassle,” one woman who had everything told me. The children were a burden to her! If a mother thinks like this, then she is good for nothing, because it is natural for a mother to have love. Before marriage, some girls may not be woken up by their mother until ten o’clock in the morning. However, from the time she herself becomes a mother and she will need to feed her child, wash him, take care of him, she will not sleep at night, because the motor has started. Having sacrifice, a person does not whine and is not burdened, but rejoices. The whole basis is this: there must be a spirit of sacrifice. And this woman, if she said: “My God, how can I thank You? You have given me not only children, but also many blessings. How many people have nothing, but I have several houses, an inheritance from my father, and my husband has a big salary, and they pay me rent in two places!” I don't have any difficulties. How can I thank You, my God? I was not worthy of all this,” if she had thought so, then with praise the feeling of misfortune would have disappeared. That is, if she only thanked God day and night, that would already be enough.

- Sacrifice, Geronda, brings joy.

- Oh, what a joy this is! The taste of this sacrificial joy is unknown to modern people, and that is why they are so exhausted. They do not have ideals in themselves; they are burdened by the fact that they live. Courage and self-sacrifice are the driving force in a person. If this strength is not there, then the person suffers. In the old days, in villages, people at night, without noise, trying so that no one would see them, would pave some kind of road so that after death others would remember them. This spirit of sacrifice is rare these days. Once on Mount Athos, during a procession of the cross, I observed how the monks, walking along the path, clung to a bush branch with their marks, but not one broke it off to make the path easier for those walking behind; they all ducked down to avoid getting caught. It’s like bowing to a bush! If only this was the Burning Bush, then all right! But everyone thought: “Let someone else do it, but I just have to go through it myself.” But why don't you do this if you saw this thread first? After all, this is how worldly people who do not believe in God behave. What good is this life for me, then dying is a thousand times better. The goal is to think about the other person, about their pain.

The world has already lost control of itself. Curiosity and sacrifice have disappeared from people. I once told you about the state I was in when in Kaliva, on the Holy Mountain, I was struck by a hernia. When someone knocked on the rivet near the gate, I went out to open it even in the snow [and in the cold]. If a person had serious problems, then I didn’t even feel my pain, although [literally] before that I was pinned to the bed. I treated the newcomer to something: I treated him with one hand and held the hernia with the other. The entire time we were talking, despite the severe pain, I did not lean against anything, so that he would not guess that I was in pain. And when the visitor left, I again doubled over in pain. It wasn't that the pain went away, or that I miraculously got better, no. I saw that others were in pain and forgot my own pain. A miracle happens when you participate in the pain of another. The main thing is that you feel the person is a brother and you feel pain for him. This pain touches God and a miracle happens. Because there is nothing else that touches God so much as noble generosity, that is, sacrifice. But in our era, generosity is a rarity, because selfishness and selfishness have come. It’s rare to find a person who will say, “I’ll give my turn to someone else and wait.” How few are such blessed souls that think about something else! Even spiritual people have this nasty spirit, the spirit of indifference.

Good is good only if the person doing it sacrifices something of his own: sleep, peace, and the like. That is why Christ said “...from his deprivation...”. When I do good, after resting, it doesn’t cost much. However, if I am tired and, for example, I go out to show the way to someone asking for it, then it costs a lot. When I, having previously slept, spend the night without sleep where my help is needed, then the price for this is small. If at the same time I like the conversation, then I can do it in order to enjoy the communication and have a little fun. Whereas, tired and making a sacrifice in order to help another, I experience heavenly joy. Then I drown in God's blessing.

And if a person is burdened not only by helping another, but even by doing something for himself, then he gets tired from the rest itself. The one who helps his neighbor also rests from fatigue. If a person has a sacrificial spirit, then when he sees someone, for example, physically exhausted, working and tired, he will tell him. “Sit down, rest a little” and he will do the job himself. The one who is exhausted will rest his body, and the one who helped him will feel spiritual relaxation. Whatever work a person does, he must do it from the heart, otherwise the one doing it does not change spiritually. What is done from the heart does not tire. The heart is like a self-charging device: the more it works, the more it charges. There’s a chainsaw, when it hits a rotten stump, it snorts “Frrr...” and stalls. But when it hits a hard tree, it stops working, recharges itself and saws. And not only in giving, but also in the case when we have to take something, we should not think about ourselves, but always strive for what brings peace to the soul of another. We should not have greed. We should not think that we have the right to take as much as we want, and let nothing be left for someone else.

- Again, Geronda, everything returns to the spirit of sacrifice.

- So this is the basis of all spiritual life! And do you know what joy a person feels when he sacrifices himself? He cannot express the joy he experiences. The greatest joy comes from sacrifice. Only by sacrificing does a person remain in kinship with Christ, because Christ is the Sacrifice. This is also where a person begins to experience heaven or hell. A person who does good rejoices because he is rewarded for it with divine consolation. He who does evil experiences torment.

My own peace comes from bringing peace to another.

- How, Geronda, can a person make a sacrifice if he still does not know the taste of sacrificial joy?

- If he puts himself in the place of another. When I was in the army, our bunker was often flooded with water. The batteries of the radio had to be changed, and this was a very difficult task, because the line was loaded. I was wet to the waist, and my overcoat was just right to wring out. However, so that others would not suffer, I preferred to do this work myself and, while doing it, I was happy. The commander told me: “When you do this job, I am calm and don’t worry about it, but I feel sorry for you. Tell someone else to do it." “No, Mr. Commander,” I answered him, “I am happy about this.” There was another radio operator in our half-battalion, but when we went on operations, so as not to expose him to danger, I did not let him carry either a battery or a walkie-talkie, although it was difficult for me. He asked me about it [offended]: “Why don’t you give them to me?” “You,” I answered him, “have a wife and children. If they kill you, I will answer for it before God.” And so God preserved both of us: He did not allow either him or me to be killed.

For a sensitive person, it is preferable to be killed once, covering for another out of a feeling of love, than to show negligence or cowardice and experience constant remorse for the rest of his life. Once during the civil war, a rebel maneuver cut us off from the rest of the forces behind one village. The soldiers were going to cast lots about who should go to the village for food. “I'll go,” I said. If someone inexperienced and inattentive had gone, he could have been killed, and then my conscience would have tormented me. “It will be better,” I thought, “if they kill me than someone else, and then my conscience will kill me all my life. How can I bear this? “You could have saved him,” my conscience will tell me, “why didn’t you save him?” Besides, I was fasting and on an empty stomach... In general, okay. Well, the commander says to me, “And I would prefer that you go, you’ll come out of the water unscathed, just eat so that you have strength.” I took the machine gun and moved it. The rebels took me for one of their own and allowed me to pass. I came to the village and went into a two-story house. There was an old woman there, she gave me food, and I returned to my people.

I experienced the greatest joy in winter [in the mountains], among the snow. I remember waking up one night. Everyone was asleep, and our tents were covered with snow. I crawled out of the tent, grabbed the walkie-talkie and began shaking the snow out of it. I see: it works. He ran to the commander and told him what was happening. That night I used a hoe to dig out twenty-six frostbitten people from the snow.

I did nothing for Christ. If I had done 10 percent of what I did in the war for Christ, I would now be performing miracles! That is why later, in my monastic life, I said: “In the army I endured such torment for the sake of the Fatherland, but what am I doing for Christ?” In other words, compared to the torment that I experienced in the army, in monastic life I felt like a king’s son; it didn’t matter whether I had some kind of cracker or not. Because there, during operations, do you know what kind of post we held? They ate snow! Others at least scoured around, found something edible, but I was tied to the walkie-talkie - I could not leave it. Once we were left without food for thirteen days: we were given only one soldier's bread and half a herring. I drank water from hoof prints, and not pure rainwater, but mixed with mud. And once I had a chance to taste “lemonade”! That time I reached the limit of thirst and then I saw a hoof print full of water - yellow! I drank and drank it!.. And therefore, later, in my monastic life, water, even if it was full of all sorts of boogers, seemed to me a great blessing. At least it looked like water.

And one evening the cable communication line broke. It was December 1948. There were snowdrifts all around. At four o'clock in the afternoon we are given the order: to go to the village - it's two hours on foot, restore the line and return back. Two hours later - darkness. The soldiers were as if they were dead from fatigue and could not find the courage to walk. And where else can you find a cable in such snowdrifts?

- What, Geronda, didn’t you know the road and how the cable was laid?

- Eh, I knew the road roughly, but still night would have caught us on the road. In short, they gave me a few people, and we went. First, while we were still at our unit’s location, we cleared the road of snow with shovels to calm the commander down, and walked forward a little. Then I tell them: “Come on, let’s go, we still have to go back!” I went first because the others were grumbling all the time. “Hellas,” they told me, “cannot perish, but we are perishing!” How they started doing the same thing over and over again! So we moved forward: I fell into the snow, they pulled me out, fell through again, pulled me out again... I had a saber, and every now and then I probed the snow in front of me with it to find where I could step. We had to constantly check. I advanced first and told them: “Come on, let’s go, cattle don’t walk here and they can’t break the cable. We’ll get to some ravine where the cable hangs above the ground, and only there we’ll check.” We finally reached a village, in front of which there were terraces hidden from view under snow drifts, and I fell from one terrace down into the snow. The others were afraid to go further and bother me. Finally we went down, moving from one terrace to another - you better not ask how - and late in the evening we entered the village. In some ravines in one or two places I found a break, we connected the cable and contacted the commander. “Go back,” the commander tells us. But how can we get back here? Not only has night fallen, but we still have to somehow climb up onto the terraces! We went down head over heels! And how will you find the way? “But how will we return? - I ask the commander. “We managed to get down somehow, but how can we get up now?” Let’s go back tomorrow morning: we’ll go out from the other side of the village and make a circle.” “No “let’s go,” says the commander, “today!” Luckily for us, the commander’s adjutant overheard this conversation and begged him to allow us to stay overnight in the village. So we stayed. In one house they gave us a couple of thick woolen bedspreads. I started to shiver: I was walking ahead, clearing the road and was all wet. My comrades took pity on me because, so to speak, I suffered more than others, and they put me in the middle. We then dined on one slice of soldier's bread. I don’t remember ever in my life experiencing greater joy than then.

I was forced to give you these examples so that you understand what a sacrifice is. I told you all this not so that you would clap my hands, but so that you would understand where real joy comes from.

And then, in the communications department, my colleagues deceived me. “My father is coming to see me, I need to go see him, sit for me, please,” one said. “And my sister came to see me,” another lied. She was no sister to him. Someone else needed to go away for some reason, and I made a sacrifice: all the time I sat on duty, first for one, then for the other. After duty, I swept and put things in order. Others, even officers from other departments, were forbidden to enter the premises of the communications platoon; besides, it was wartime. So we couldn’t hire a cleaner. I took a broom and swept all the rooms. There I learned to sweep. “Here,” I said, “is a service room, a sacred place in some way, it cannot be left untidy.” I didn’t have to sweep, and I didn’t know how to do it: I never even picked up a broom in my house. Yes, even if I wanted to take it, my sister would immediately beat me with the same broom! “The cleaning lady,” my colleagues teased me, “an eternal victim.” I didn't pay attention to it. And he did this not to hear “thank you,” but because he felt it was necessary and was happy.

- You, Geronda, didn’t have any thoughts “from the left” at all? For example, haven’t you thought: “So-and-so is out and about and not meeting his sister”?

- No, I didn’t have such thoughts. From the moment someone said to me: “Please, can you sit for a little while instead of me?” - that’s it, the question was closed. And another one asked me for money supposedly for his children, but not only did he not send it to his children, but he also asked his wife for money to spend on himself. It's clear? And I didn’t do this to be told “well done,” I felt it was necessary. I did not leave the location of the unit, others took advantage of this and dumped all the work on me. I had to do the work of the entire platoon. A whole bunch of call signs, relays knocking non-stop... Then I turned into a wreck. For some time I had a temperature of thirty-nine point five, and I didn’t tell anyone about it. But then he collapsed from overexertion and lost consciousness. They threw me on a stretcher, and I heard the voices of my colleagues: “Well, Venedikt, let’s go to the overhaul, now we’ll take you on a stretcher to where old cars are repaired.” And they took me to the hospital. There I was unattended - there was no one to look after me, everyone was tending to the wounded - but I felt joy. That joy that comes from sacrifice, because my own peace is born from the fact that I bring peace to another.

As much as we forget ourselves, God remembers us

Anyone who has sacrifice and faith in God does not take himself into account. If a person does not cultivate a sacrificial spirit within himself, then he thinks only of himself and wants others to sacrifice themselves for his sake. But the one who thinks only about himself falls into isolation both from people and from God - into double isolation - and does not accept Divine Grace. Such a person is good for nothing. And look: after all, no one will support someone who constantly thinks only about himself, about his difficulties, etc., in a moment of need, even humanly. The fact that he will not receive divine support is clear, but he will not receive human support either! Then this person will look for help here and there, that is, he will suffer to find help from people, but will not be able to find it. And vice versa, about someone who does not think about himself, but constantly, in the good sense of the word, thinks about others - God thinks about such a person all the time. And then other people think about him too. The more a person forgets himself, the more God remembers him. For example, in a communal monastery, one who has curiosity in him sacrifices himself, gives himself to others. Do you think others don't notice this? And how can they help but think about this soul, which completely gives itself to others, but does not think about itself? And how can God not think about this soul? Great job! In this one can see God’s blessing, one can see the image of divine action.

Finding himself in a difficult situation, a person takes exams. Real love and sacrifice manifest themselves in such moments. When we say that someone has self-sacrifice, we mean that in times of danger, he does not take himself into account and thinks about others. After all, the proverb says: "Friend is known in trouble". If, God forbid, bombs started falling now, for example, it would become clear who was thinking about others and who was thinking about themselves. But someone who has learned to think only about himself will also think about himself in difficult times, and God will not think about this person. If someone learns in advance to think not about himself, but about others, then in times of danger he will also think about others. Then it will become clear who has real sacrifice and who has pride.

If a Christian does not begin to sacrifice something now: some of his lust, selfishness, then how will he achieve the goal of sacrificing his life in difficult times? And if now he is afraid of work and is concerned about not overworking someone else, then how will he achieve such a state that he will run to give his life for another? If now he is preoccupied with himself over trifles, then how will he think about someone else at that moment when his life is in danger? Then it will be more difficult. If difficult years come and such a person sees his neighbor, who has fallen in a fever on the road, then he will leave him lying there, go away and say, “I’d better go and lie down, otherwise I might as well not fall.”

And in war there is a struggle of lives, yours and someone else’s. Courage lies in rushing to the aid of another person, but if there is no sacrifice, then everyone strives to save himself. But here’s what has been noticed: in war, a shell or a mine finds someone who is trying to escape. Such a person seems to want to avoid danger, but the sooner he breaks his neck. Therefore, there is no need to try to escape from danger, especially at the expense of others. I remember one incident that happened during the Albanian war. One soldier had a stone slab, and he covered his head behind it from bullets and shrapnel. When he needed to step aside for something, he placed the slab at the bottom of the trench, leaning it against the wall. Seeing this, his neighbor immediately grabbed the stove and took it away. “Now,” he thought, “an opportunity has come to take it for himself.” However, at that very moment a mine covered him, and there was not even a wet spot left. Seeing shells exploding around him, the unfortunate man took this slab, but he did not think about the fact that its owner would return. He thought only about himself and found an excuse for his action: “Since he left, then I can take this slab for myself.” Yes, he left, but the stove remained his own. And another one was absent from service the entire time the war was going on. I didn't think about anyone. Others gave their lives for their homeland, but he sat at home. Until the last hour, when the situation became more difficult, he sought to avoid danger. Then, when the British arrived, he tried to get into the location of their troops, introduced himself to Zerva and, since he also had American citizenship, took the opportunity and fled to America. As soon as he reached her, he immediately died! His wife, poor thing, said: “I wanted to sneak away from God!” So, he died, while others who were in the war remained alive.

Those who die heroically do not die

I remember that in the army we all had one common goal. I tried too, but others also had the spirit of sacrifice, regardless of whether they believed in another life or not. “Why should this man die, he is the head of the family,” they said, and they themselves went on a dangerous mission. The sacrifice that these people made had a greater price than that that a believer made. The believer believed in divine truth, in divine reward, while the unbelievers did not know that the sacrifice they decided to make was not in vain, that they would be rewarded for it in another life.

During the occupation, under Davakis, the Italians arrested young officers, loaded them onto a ship, and then sent it to the bottom. And after that they started grabbing civilians; those who were caught first were tortured to force them to reveal the names of other residents who had weapons at home. If only you could have looked at the sacrifice worldly people showed! In Konitsa, near our house, where the Church of St. Cosmas of Aitolia is now built, there used to be a mosque. Those arrested were locked in the mosque and beaten all night with barbed whips or exposed cables: they let out a wire, tied pieces of lead at the end and beat people with these wires. The steel wire tore off the skin. And so that screams could not be heard, the Italians sang or played music. This is where the expression “knacker with music” came from. In addition, the unfortunates were hung upside down by their legs, and blood came from their mouths. But they were silent because they thought: “If we confess (and they knew who had the rifles), then they will beat everyone else in the same way to force them to confess too.” Therefore, those who were taken first decided: “We’d better die to prove that other people don’t have rifles.” And others, for one or five okas of torment, told the enemies who had hidden weapons. There was famine and people became traitors. Some Italians from the battalion, recruited from illegitimate children, were real barbarians with all the barbarian complexes. They took out their anger on others. They took small children, undressed them, the unfortunate ones, put them on hot iron tongs and pressed them with their feet so that their bodies burned. They tortured children so that their parents would confess who had the rifles. “I don’t have it, I don’t have it!” - the adults shouted, and the tormentors burned their children. I want to say that many chose to die, although they were worldly people, so as not to torture or kill others. In this way they saved many. And so, because of a few heroes, we survived as a people.

Those who die heroically do not die. And if there is no heroism, then don’t expect anything good. Know also that a believer will also be courageous! Makriyannis, wretched what he suffered! And in what years!

“He once said, Geronda: “My eyes are sooty.”

- Yes, his eyes are smoky. From the tension and anxiety that he was experiencing, his eyes seemed to smoke. Living in difficult times, he constantly sacrificed himself out of pain and love. He did not think about himself, never took himself into account. Fighting for the Fatherland, he was not afraid of death. Makriyannis experienced spiritual states. If he had become a monk, I think he would have been little different from Anthony the Great. Despite his wounds and injuries, he made three thousand bows [a day]. When he bowed, his wounds opened, his insides fell out, and he himself set them back in place. My three bows are worth one of his bows. The floor in front of him was wet with tears. What if we were in his place? Yes, we would run to the hospital to get medical help! Worldly people will judge us!

He who does not take himself into account accepts divine power

- And during the war, Geronda, did you have to be in danger?

- ABOUT! Is it only once or twice? Now I’m thinking about how God helped [me], and I’m very worried. And then I didn’t think about it, especially about death. I didn't think about her at all. When you decide to die, you are not afraid of anything. The determination to die is equal in strength to a thousand bodyguards. Death is safety. In war, the emblem of a detachment of sacred volunteers is a skull. This means they decided to die. He who, for the sake of the good of another person or for the sake of the common good, forgets about himself, accepts divine power. And look, if a person is motivated by sacrifice, then God covers him. I remember how once we dug in behind a cliff. I dug a small trench and hid a little in it. One crawls: “Let me go too,” the other crawls: “Me too.” I let them get into the trench because they asked me to, but I stayed outside. At night, when heavy artillery shelling began, one shrapnel hit me on the head. I didn’t have a helmet on, just a hood. “Guys,” I shout, “a shrapnel hit me!” I feel my head with my hand - I don’t feel any blood, I feel it again - nothing at all! The shrapnel hit my head a little and only shaved off my hair from forehead to crown: it left a clean strip six centimeters wide on my head.

You did not live during difficult years, during occupation, you did not see war, enemies, grief. I wish you not to see all this, but that’s why you don’t understand what it is. However, our years are like a seething and whistling cauldron. Hardening, courage and courage are required. If something happens, be careful not to be completely unprepared. Prepare now so you can face the challenges. And Christ said: “Be prepared,” isn’t it? Today, living in such difficult years, we need to be not just ready, but three times ready, to say the least! We may have to face not only sudden death, but other dangers as well. So, let’s drive away the desire to get comfortable! Let curiosity work in us and the spirit of sacrifice be present.

Now I see how something is being prepared, is about to happen and is constantly being postponed. There are always little delays. Who reschedules these deadlines? Is it God who pushes them away? Come on, another month, come on, two more!.. That’s how it goes. But since we don’t know what awaits us, then develop love in yourself as much as you can. This is the most important thing: so that there is not false, but true, brotherly love between you. If there is good interest, pain, love, a person always acts correctly. Kindness, love is strength. Keep the secret as much as you can and do not indulge in frankness: after all, if “only you, me, him, and the bell-ringer Simeon” know the secret, then what will come of it? Even out of simple stupidity, you can do evil and then bang your head against the wall. You should see how they keep secrets in the army! If you understood that you could be captured, then the first thing you had to do was destroy the call signs: cut the recording into pieces and swallow it. Once, finding myself in a dangerous situation, I did just that, because if the call signs were in the hands of the rebels, they would know that our troops were in such and such a place, that they had no food, and the like. And then they would send a radiogram to [our] center so that [our] aircraft would fly in and drop food on them and bombs on our heads. It's clear? [Knowing the call signs], they would contact the center on behalf of the government army. If you were a radio operator and were captured, your nails would be pulled out with pliers so that you could give out your call sign. And you preferred to have your nails torn out, but not to be a traitor. One [radio operator] had his armpits burned with fire in order for him to tell the contents of the radiogram, and he did not confess, as if he was speechless. He did not tell the secret to his enemies and therefore became a confessor. And the women transported documents for the army on mule saddles and were ready to die.

Death in war can greatly appease God, because a person who has died a brave death sacrifices himself to protect others. Those who, out of pure love, sacrifice their lives in order to protect a fellow man, their neighbor, imitate Christ. These people are the greatest heroes, death itself fears and trembles, because out of love they despise death and thus acquire immortality, finding the key to eternity under the gravestone and easily entering eternal bliss.

A monk's whole life is a sacrifice

The whole life of a monk naturally helps him to have love, sacrifice. He set out on a journey to die for Christ. This means he set out on a journey for the sake of sacrifice. A monk has no [worldly] duties, so he needs to develop the spirit of sacrifice. A layman was not going to die for Christ, and then he has worldly responsibilities: he takes care of his family, his children, so the demand from him is not so strict, he has an excuse. For example, in war, a family man strives to avoid danger so that his children are not left on the street. This man does not think about the fact that if he avoids danger, they might kill someone else who also has children. Well, this is all right: here, at least, there is concern for one’s family. “I,” such a person will say, “will have children left on the street.” He may, without believing in another life at all, strive to save this life.

- That is, Geronda, a monk must constantly sacrifice himself?

- After all, we have already said that the whole life of a monk is a sacrifice. Otherwise, why do we become monks? If a monk is lame in this regard, he is not a monk. What kind of spiritual struggle can we talk about later? If there is no sacrifice, then there is no room for spiritual struggle. And if there is no sacrifice, then no matter how much the monk tries to live spiritually, everything will be to no avail. On the Holy Mountain they say that such a spiritual life is comparable to garden scarecrows: a monk who leads such a spiritual life, not only cannot cast out demons, he can chase away crows, and that is an achievement. When a person ardently takes on the feat that awaits him in this life, the divine flame also burns in him. If this divine flame is not there, then he is good for nothing. This flame gives him joy, gives him courage, gives him curiosity. This is what the Lord said: “The fire has come.” When there is this divine fire, then both the psalmody and the prayer of the monk, be it for himself or for others, have results. Especially a woman’s heart, when it is cleansed, has great strength and is very successful in prayer, becoming a “radar”. And the one who does not have curiosity, sacrifice, will have either worldly joy or worldly disorder; Such a person cannot feel spiritual joy.

That’s why I tell you: cultivate sacrifice, brotherly love. Let each of you reach a spiritual state so that, if you find yourself in a difficult situation, she can get out of it herself. Without being in a spiritual state, a person is a coward because he loves himself. He can renounce Christ, he can betray Him. You must decide to die. Here are worldly people who don’t even believe in heaven, sacrificing themselves. And we believe that nothing is in vain, that there is meaning in our sacrifice. Worldly people, being completely ignorant, will sacrifice themselves, put their lives in danger in order to protect another, but monks will not sacrifice themselves? We set out on a journey to die for the sake of Christ's love. We don’t have worldly responsibilities, and if we don’t also have sacrifice, then what are we even doing? Yes, even the ants will laugh at us! Have you seen how ants make fun of people? Lazy people are ridiculed!

- Geronda, is it possible: I have a willingness to help others, but the motives that motivate me to do this are not pure?

- It's always visible. When the motives are not pure, the spirit does not find peace, understands this and tries to cleanse them. I was greatly impressed by the soul of a woman who came the other day. Having learned that someone is sick and suffering, she cannot sleep: she suffers and cries. And she herself lives in the world. She shared with someone what was happening to her, and in response she received: “Maybe this is an enemy temptation.” But how can this happen from temptation? The devil can deceive a person only if he does such things for show, and then the experiences will be false.

Remove yourself from your actions. Man, leaving himself, leaves the earth, moves in a different atmosphere. As long as a person remains within himself, he cannot become a heavenly man. There can be no spiritual life without sacrifice. Remember at least a little that death exists. And since we are going to die anyway, let’s not take too much care of ourselves. Not so much as not to take care to the detriment of your health, but also not so much as to kneel before peace. I don’t encourage you to rush into dangerous adventures, but you must, my brother, have a little heroism! With what courage the heroes faced death during the war! One monk, who was with Kondylis (Kondylis was a patriot, a hero), told me that when, during the Asia Minor War, the Greeks landed an amphibious assault near Constantinople, Kondylis was on the ship and, only seeing Constantinople from afar, began to behave like a madman. “Come on, guys,” he shouted, “die like that, die!” What today, what tomorrow! Dying is a great job, hey guys! Let us die heroes for our Motherland!” He couldn't even wait for the ship to land. From tension, from strong desire, he did not notice that the ship had not yet reached the shore - he jumped and fell into the sea. Everything in him was so hot! He did not know how to swim: others ran and pulled him out of the water.

- Geronda, you said that we need to try to free our every action from our “I”. How to do it?

- Give you everything ready. What does it mean to remove your “I”? When do I remove my self? How do we banish the self from our love? How can we purify our love? To the extent that I do not take myself into account, I expel my “I.” And by cutting off our will, our weakness, our peace, we also remove our “I”. Through obedience and silence, much disappears from our self. When our love is selfless, we also expel our self, but there must also be sacrifice in our love. Do you understand this? For example, some nun wants to go to Mother Superior and sees that another sister also wants to visit her. If the first one immediately gives her turn to her sister, even knowing that her sister has no special problems, then she has obedience, sacrifice, and the like. And when she wholeheartedly gives up her place to another and does not speak to mother, then Christ Himself will speak to her. However, she must realize that this is necessary, she must do it because her heart told her so, and not simply because “the holy fathers say so.” So she accepts the double Grace of God. And in this case, one sister receives spiritual help in a human way, while the other receives help in a divine way, directly from Christ.

Observe those worldly people who show such sacrifice that even monks do not. I notice that in the world, despite the fact that people may not believe, have weaknesses and passions, they - God arranges it this way - have a soft heart. They see someone in need and, even if he is a stranger to them, they help him. Many people who do not even believe that there is a paradise, seeing some kind of danger, run to prevent evil, rush to perish themselves so that others can survive, and rush to distribute their property to others. Many years ago, at one factory, a worker got caught and began to be pulled into the machine. Despite the fact that there were many men around, a woman rushed to save him. The men, such “brave” ones, stood and looked. And she pulled him out of the machine, but she herself was caught in her dress, twisted into the machine, and she died. Martyr! This is a great thing!

Such people do not think about themselves; they throw out their “I”. And when they throw him out, Christ throws himself at them.