Youthful passionate love grew into family relationships. My husband and I, then just a guy, started living together after a couple of months of dating. Before that, we had been friends for more than 2 years. After 1.5 years we had a daughter. And although pregnancy was not part of our plans, there was not even a thought about abortion.
When my daughter turned 3 years old, her relationship with her husband became cold. We didn't quarrel or make trouble. They just lived together, but separately. I did housework and sometimes worked part-time, since I didn’t have a full-time job at that time, and he left for a week on shift and then came back. And outwardly everything was as usual, we walked with our daughter, had dinner together and did some things, but at the same time everyone was on their own.
The old love and passion have disappeared somewhere. There was already a smell of separation in the air, although no one spoke about it openly. I started communicating with a guy on the Internet. Probably due to a lack of male attention, although my husband and I sometimes had sex.
Unexpected turn
When there was no longer any hope of renewing a warm relationship, menstruation was delayed. I immediately took a test - pregnancy. It was a shock for me! After all, we were protecting ourselves. The family is falling apart, and I'm pregnant. This means you need to have an abortion. We discussed this issue with my husband, he supported me in my decision, saying that first it was necessary to provide good conditions for my daughter.
Making a decision is one thing, but putting it into practice is completely different! When I started looking for a clinic where I could have an abortion, it was as if a switch had turned on inside. Just the thought that I would kill the life inside me made me cry. And I still couldn’t decide to have an abortion. My husband watched me and then said: “Let’s leave it!”
After the mental anguish I experienced, I agreed to his proposal, not imagining how our future fate would turn out. Family relationships became warm again. My husband began to take care of me and pay attention to me.
Why does the Almighty give boys to some parents and girls to others?
After many years of working as a psychologist in a hospital, I suddenly (?) caught an idea: to analyze the issues of the gender of children in married couples. I never specifically asked myself why some people only give birth to boys, while others only give birth to girls. But there is a pattern, and I will try to show it! Please note that these are just my assumptions.
I came to the main conclusion that a woman is “given” a boy if, during the period of preparation for childbearing, during gestation and birth itself, she had problems, unclear life situations regarding masculinity. In other words: if a woman had difficulties communicating with men at that time (father, first love, husband, etc.). And then she gives birth to a boy, so that over time, step by step, she can again go through her life lessons in relationships with the male sex from the very beginning - from the birth of her son!
I can say the same about men: if there are difficulties in communicating with women (his wife), then he will definitely “get” the girl. In every woman, a man, whether he wants it or not, is “looking” for a mother. Many men even try to please their daughters, since daughters represent the feminine gender?!
But what about families with children of different sexes, you ask? I can make the assumption that the family is in a relatively harmonious relationship, so everything is equal!
I looked at couples who persistently wanted a baby of a certain gender, but received, for example, only girls! I have had and still have to advise women from the North Caucasus, where this situation is more obvious. There are three or four girls in the family, but the man maniacally demands from his wife a boy - an heir! That poor woman suffers, sometimes even undergoes IVF, but still a girl is born. But a man just needs to “change” his thoughts regarding Women in general, and then maybe he will have a chance!?
Story 1: Woman (42 years old) director of a real estate agency. At the age of 15, her father left the family, and for the girl it was a tragedy. She wanted to be a historian, but she entered medical school “to become a surgeon” in order to prove her father’s guilt (her father was a surgeon). I graduated from the institute, but I didn’t work for a day in my specialty, because the smell of iodine and the sight of blood bothered me! At the age of 20, she married a rich man, with whom she gave birth to two boys of the same age. Over time, her irrepressible energy made itself felt, and her husband bought her a real estate agency. But this does not stop her from constantly meddling in the lives of her men and controlling them for any reason!
Story 2: A man (50 years old), was married three times, and in all marriages he had boys. When he was undergoing psychoanalysis with me, we “pulled out” a recurring pattern: all of his wives had difficult relationships with their fathers. And they all tried to subjugate him and crush him under themselves. He is a very soft and compliant person. But, at the same time, very amorous and sociable, and most importantly, wealthy! And always – desirable for almost any woman!
Story 3: Woman (45 years old), married, two girls. The husband is a tyrant and usurper, works in the security forces. Completely “subjugated” his wife. Before that, he had a family with a daughter, whom he does not help financially. As a child, he experienced betrayal from his mother, and then from his first love - and therefore does not trust women, and transfers his unfulfillment in life and resentment to his daughters!
Such stories can be told endlessly, and I am sure that if you “rummage” through your memory, you will remember a lot of things!
There is a cool and common phrase: Whoever is born, do not drown him! All children are given to us by God, they must be loved and raised. What about the gender of the child? This is just a hint for the parent of the opposite sex. But the decision: whether you need to understand yourself is up to you.
P/s A year has passed since this article was published. In my practice as a psychologist, do I often encounter similar requests?! I recently published an article with a detailed life analysis on a similar topic - “Psychological rape, or Why do some people give birth to girls and others to boys?!”
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The birth of a guardian angel
When my son was born, they couldn’t find a name for him for a long time. Then we decided on Bogdan, because he was sent by God to save our family. My neighbor’s grandmother often said: “Your Bogdan is your guardian angel! God himself sent him.” I didn’t attach any significance to these words, although grandma didn’t even suspect about the possible breakdown of the family. She had no idea what she meant.
One day an unusual incident happened to us. When Bogdanchik was only a few months old, my husband and I had to go on business. It was late in the evening, so we decided not to take the children with us, since they had already gone to bed, but to quickly go to the address and return home.
That evening we crashed our car due to ice. The car was badly damaged. It cannot be restored, but we got off lightly. A fatal outcome awaited us if the blow fell a couple of centimeters to the side, but we escaped with only severe bruises. There weren't even any fractures. Was it a miracle? No. It was our son, our guardian angel, who saved us.
This year Bogdan will be 7 years old. I am very glad that I gave birth to a son. Now our family is an example of an idyll. I hope it will always be like this.
If God gives children, then he gives for children too!
I have never been the darling of fate. From the age of 15 she raised her younger sister, because... Mom died, and father had no time for us.
It all started on May 1, 2007. All I had at that time was an 8-year-old son, whom I raised alone, because my husband died when the baby was one year old and my beloved adored (second) husband. I was visiting a large, beautiful private house outside the city, sitting in a sauna with two adult women. One of them is the mistress of the house, the other is my beloved stepmother. We started talking about children, because... I have been married for a long time, but have no children together yet. Everyone is wondering when we will give birth to a second one. So the housewife says: “Under no circumstances have an abortion, if God gives children, then he gives for children.” “Well, of course,” I thought, “some people have nothing to worry about, but after all, we live in a rented apartment, we only have enough money for the essentials.”
A month passed, this conversation was forgotten, and I found a well-paid job, very quickly quit and began my new responsibilities. In a week I find out that we are expecting a new addition to our family! Ultrasound showed 4.5 weeks. And the fact that the future baby’s heart is already beating! I burst into tears out of joy, called my husband, and now he, too, was ready to shed a tear out of happiness, but he bravely restrained himself.
Throughout my pregnancy I was flying like on wings, no toxicosis, no unpleasant sensations, only a little drowsiness, good mood all the time and a continuous feeling of piercing happiness! But what should you tell a new employer? And I decided to remain silent until the end of the probationary period about my “interesting situation,” although I knew that pregnant women do not undergo a probationary period. When I told the personnel officer about this three months later, she almost had a heart attack. It turns out that our general director can’t stand pregnant women, he just fires them right away! And so it began: constant threats, hassle, screams, etc. and so on. But I held on and didn’t quit. And, oddly enough, my attending physician helped me with this. She wrote me a sick leave and said that she would help me hold out until maternity leave, but then they wouldn’t go anywhere, they would have to pay my maternity benefits.
So I did. But it was boring to sit at home for a long time, I wanted to work and earn money, I was full of strength and ebullient energy! So what do you think? A few days later I am invited for an interview, and I honestly talk about everything. We enter into a service agreement. So I started working a second job! Moreover, I still felt great, the baby grew and developed, and the weight gain was ideal. In general, everything is great!
This pregnancy has changed my ideas about the world and people around me. I would never have believed it if I had not experienced from my own experience that you can find a good job at 17 weeks. At the new place they treated me wonderfully. But I regularly paid sick leave to my first employer until the maternity leave period came up. But at my second job I continued to work and worked until 35 weeks. I was already walking with difficulty, I was waddling like a duck, my thinking began to slow down and in general, to be honest, I already wanted to rest. But when I was offered to work in January, but from home, I happily agreed.
New Year has come! We are visiting, sitting at the table in the same big beautiful house, and I remembered the words that the hostess said a few months ago. It was a real prophecy! And then on January 27, our long-awaited baby was born at night, and a week later we bought a car that we never even dreamed of a year ago. It’s true: “If God gives children, then he also gives for children!” Dear girls and women, give birth, do not be afraid of difficulties, everything will be wonderful for you!
Elena,
GOD AND THE CHILD
WITH US FROM BIRTH
Friends, good afternoon. What do you think, Who is always with us and never leaves us, not even for a moment? Of course, God. He is with us at all stages of earthly life: from youth to death.
The baby is born, and God is nearby: He rejoices at the baby’s first steps, and later invisibly “accompanies” the child to kindergarten. The boy grew up and began to go to school, and then God does not abandon his child.
He helps us in study, work, in all areas of life and in all good endeavors. And so it is always, God is with each of us, in any weather, at any time of the day, no matter what.
He is invisibly with us: at college, at work and in old age - ALWAYS!
Why do we communicate so little with God, do not consult and do not ask Him for help?
What a strange paradox - next to us is the One who is limitless in both wisdom and strength, but we stubbornly refuse to accept Him? God loves each of us immeasurably, and we, blind, persistently search for someone who would sincerely love us. In order to touch this great Love, you don’t need to look for anything, it is nearby - God loves everyone and is always ready to help in good deeds, you just have to open your heart to Him: through prayer, in words, in service .
MIRACLES AMONG US
Perhaps we are designed in such a way that in every person there is a little of Doubting Thomas. We unconditionally believe our eyes, eagerly await miracles, but stubbornly do not want to see the presence and obvious help of God among us. Take a closer look - we meet all the evidence of His presence every day. We are so used to them that they seem ordinary or mere coincidences to us. But this is only at first glance, you just have to look closely and you will see the presence of the God of life in every person, from birth.
“God gave a child, He will also give for a child”
This famous phrase is angrily criticized on all women's forums. Literally everyone turned against her, poor thing. I don’t know why, but most women take the meaning of this phrase literally, primitively and only from a financial point of view.
“I’m wondering where this idiotic phrase came from? Of course, there is a chance that money will appear, etc., but it is rather minimal. I myself know quite a lot of examples where people who had nothing and who already lived poorly gave birth to children and live even worse for the rest of their lives.”
Elena P, 32 years old
And only those who have actually found themselves in such a serious situation are able to reveal the true meaning of this statement. And they, literally all of them, literally claim that with the child God gives: strength, help and opportunities. The main thing is not to live in self-pity, not to be lazy, and most importantly not to miss the chances that the Lord opens for you.
Let's take a look at what moms have to say about it.
“Together with the child, God gives precisely these strengths. It’s just that many people are lazy, go with the flow, or simply feel sorry for themselves. And some also lament that their child does not wear branded clothes, is ignorant and also thin - he clearly does not have enough food! ...
I teach my child everything from birth! and at the same time we almost saved up for an apartment. Whoever says that a child needs a lot does not have children, or is greedy himself and ate his offspring with caviar, dioramas, nannies in all subjects. So, of course, where can they raise one, but 3-4 are thought of as a nightmare...”
jinka
I also really like the words of this wise mother. These words reveal the truth: “When one door closes, God is sure to open another for you.”
“I didn’t plan a child based on this proverb, but it so happened that I was left pregnant alone and this proverb completely justified itself; in cases where there seems to be no salvation, help comes and it is very tangible. God just gives you the opportunity, and using it for the benefit of your child is your choice. A child is a huge incentive to live on.
Lika, young mother
I see that you are angrily criticizing me, saying that I did something wrong?! It’s not worth it, judge for yourself. This phrase “does not fall” only when, instead of faith, the young mother lives with: despondency, anger, laziness or addictions. Well, what about the children? Looking at them we want to smile, live, work. Children are a great incentive to love and act. What could be better!?
Dear mothers. If your life today is closely connected with this phrase, first stop, think, and don’t rush off the handle.
Away with sadness and despondency. It’s better to gather your spiritual strength, ask God for help and advice. Order a prayer service for health for yourself and your children, order a prayer service for success in business, or even a magpie for health.
Don't be upset if you don't have time to go to church. Pray at home, and you can also order a prayer service online.
Don’t even doubt it - with faith in your soul, quiet joy will come first, and then opportunities and right decisions will come.
Before you have time to look back, your kids have already grown up, put on a brand new school uniform and set off along a new path of life, to their first school day.
BLESS YOUR DISCIPLES
It's September outside the window - the first month of the new school year. September is the beginning of new knowledge, and with it new difficulties in learning the sciences. We love our children, we want the best for them, we sincerely want our children to grow up to be smart and literate people.
“Poverty and shame to him who rejects the teaching; and whoever keeps the instruction will be honored" (Prov. 13:19)
In the first days of the school year, special prayers are served for teachers and students. If your child, for some reason, did not attend it, then do not worry, you can order a prayer service online for success in studies (businesses) without leaving your home.
Not everyone finds learning easy. For schoolchildren, studying is a great work, therefore, as in any other matter, it turns out differently - it turns out to be a “five” and a “two”. Not all information is remembered quickly and smoothly, and this happens even with diligence.
From the life of Sergius of Radonezh we know that at first he was not given a letter. In adolescence, he began to fervently pray to the Lord and tearfully asked the Lord to admonish him. - God! Let me learn this literacy, teach me and enlighten me.
The Lord sent the youth an old monk. The boy told the elder about his grief and asked him to pray to the Lord for him. Having finished the prayer, the elder blessed the boy, gave him prosphora and said:
“From now on, God will give you, my child, to understand what is needed, so that you can teach others too.” Take it, child, and eat it; this is given to you as a sign of God’s grace and for the understanding of Holy Scripture. Do not look at the fact that this particle is so small: your joy will be great if you taste from it.
And indeed, after this incident the boy surpassed his brothers in academic performance.
All children are different and that's normal.
Some have a tenacious memory, some have a strong imagination, and some are born philosophers from birth. But every child, and this without exception, has from God his own, individual gift, an inclination towards something. Dear parents, our primary task is to find this “God’s gift”, to support that spark of talent invested in your son or daughter. Do not doubt that God is always with you and your children.
Do not doubt that “God kissed the top of the head” of your child. The Lord puts goodness, conscience, and love into every person, which means he puts a piece of Himself into each of us. If you have difficulties in upbringing, if you don’t know what to do, then it makes sense to ask advice from the One who knows everything, you should pray to the One who is always there and ready to help us - you need to pray to God.
How else can we help our children? First of all, by surrounding them with your care and love. A child, feeling your love and support, is a hundred times more successful, calmer and healthier than those children who are constantly shouted at, have breakdowns, or are not cared for at all. Learn lessons together, read books to each other, arrange educational excursions and this way we can help our children both physically and mentally.
A healthy atmosphere in the family is no less important for the development of personality. A small child tries to be like his elders in everything. Looking at the behavior of his parents, he eagerly absorbs the foundations of future values, behavior, and remembers the words and actions of his elders. That is why it is so important to show the child that parents love each other, respect their elders, help the younger ones, and also love God and honor His Commandments.
A real person is, first of all, one who is spiritually rich
Help your children grow up spiritually strong. Bless your children, pray for them, give them communion. Remember that the most powerful prayer is the “Prayer of a loving mother for her children.” The Lord always hears all the prayers said by children and for children, so do not skimp on them. For this, the Lord will reward you and your children with grace a hundredfold. Children will be healthier, smarter, and most importantly, spiritually stronger and resilient individuals.
Protect yourself and your children with the mighty power of the Holy Church. Go to church services, receive communion, attend Sunday church schools, pray together and order prayer services for health and success in your studies.
You can and should ask the Lord for help in your studies and for the students themselves
The disciples themselves should also prayerfully ask God, the Mother of God and His Saints for help in teaching.
God always helps every student and does not refuse help to anyone.
Look how Saint John of Kronstadt wrote about this
“Grieving over the failure of the teaching, I fervently prayed to God to give me meaning and reason - and I remember how suddenly a curtain fell from my mind, and I began to understand the teaching well. The more I grew, the better and better I did in the sciences, so that almost from the last I rose to the first students.”
WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO ASK FOR GOD'S HELP FOR YOUR CHILDREN
God is the source of all life and all grace. He is always near us and never refuses to help us. To receive God's help and blessing, you just need to believe in Him and ask Him for it.
When we were little, our parents took care of us, when we grew up and became mothers and fathers ourselves, then we surround our children with love. But if you really love your child and wish him happiness, then don’t be lazy, ask God for it. He is always there, behind your back, He is just waiting for another chance to help us.
- Categories:With God
- Key words: LOVE, Saints
Oleg Plett 8:31 pm
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