How to ask God for forgiveness for sins: rules and nuances of petition, advice from priests

Why sin is dangerous for a person

Sin is not a legal crime. Sin, first of all, causes mental trauma to the person himself; it is a disease, a wound that appears on the soul. It takes a certain amount of time to heal sin.

How to properly ask God for forgiveness? So that repentance is not fruitless, you should not just name your sins, but sacrifice to God the virtues that are opposite to the sins that you previously committed. Naming your sins is not yet repentance .

How to ask God for forgiveness for sins

Fruit worthy of repentance is needed:

change of life;
change of mind;
turn your life into the opposite of the sins that existed before.

Sin cannot arise spontaneously. Christ in the Sermon on the Mount reveals the spiritual roots of sins. For Jews, sin is murder, adultery, and Christ shows a certain genesis of the origin of this or that sin. He says that an adulterer is not only the one who has committed adultery, but anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart; a murderer in the cherished understanding is not the one who killed, but also the one who is in vain angry with his brother - is already a murderer.

About sins:

About covetousness
Sin of love of money
Why playing cards is a sin

The Church defines that there are eight deadly sins. But at the same time, we understand that mortal sins do not arise out of nowhere. Therefore, if we say that there are major and minor sins, then by this very statement we are in some form legalizing part of our problems, and this is wrong. Therefore, there are no small sins.

Important! Any sin, if it is a neglected problem, will lead to something serious, to what is called a mortal sin.

That is, Christ reveals internal motivations, reveals the very law of sin that can really be present in every person.

How to Confess Sins

There are ten sins, everything else is a variation of these sins. Therefore, when preparing for confession, prepare with an emphasis on the brevity of the Ten Commandments, but at the same time you must be prepared that the priest may ask the question: how many times have you fallen? Who did you fall with? Was there any feeling of remorse from the one you fell with? It is up to the priest whether he wants to clarify something or not.

Sacrament of Repentance

Sometimes it is very difficult for a person to tell about some of his sins. This especially happens when you are friends with a priest, and you are afraid that when you name your sins, this will change the priest’s good attitude towards you, he will look at you negatively. But in reality this is false shame.

A priest, when he feels that a person is behaving insincerely during confession, he may be offended by such distrust. And when the clergyman sees that you call sin by its name, he feels your trust in him and will treat it with understanding. Adapt to the priest, his questions, his reaction.

Attention! Confession is not made before a priest. Prayers are read: “Behold, Christ stands invisibly, accepting your confession.” The priest is only a witness to confession and the priest forgives sins not by the power of his piety, not by the power of his dignity, but by the power given to him by Jesus Christ.

Therefore, confession is made before Christ, and the priest is a witness. And at the Last Judgment, it is the priest who will testify to the sincerity of your confession.

There is penance - this is not a punishment for sin, but a period during which a person heals his sin with repentance. To then proceed to the cup of the Eucharist.

Sometimes, for serious mortal sins, the priest recommends abstaining from communion for a while. Strengthen repentance with prayer, fasting, reading the Holy Scriptures, patristic literature, or other positive actions. In order to heal your soul through repentance, and then proceed to the Chalice of Christ. The natural state is a feeling of sorrow from a sin committed. It is natural to feel pain and heaviness. But while experiencing sorrow, the soul learns to humble itself and is reborn.

The purpose of confession is to get you to blame yourself! What happens in confession when a person begins to blame himself? God begins to justify him. The task of the penitent is to blame himself. After all, in everyday life we are engaged in constantly justifying ourselves.

But there is no need to bring into church elements of your ordinary life, when we disguise ourselves, try to justify ourselves, and refuse some accusations against us. Through false modesty, you become your own enemy.

How to ask for forgiveness correctly

Prepare a plan

Think about what and how you will say. As the 2016 study An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies found, the most effective apologies have six components:

Expression of regret.
Explanation of the reason.
Acceptance of personal responsibility for what has been done.
Repentance.
Suggesting ways to solve the problem (correcting the error).
Asking for forgiveness.

Interestingly, the components are not equal in importance. The study participants emphasized the third point. As mentioned above, admitting one’s mistake is painful for a person. That is why it is important for the victim to know that you are ready to do this and resolve the conflict.

Among the least important is the explanation of the reason, since it often looks more like a regular excuse.

Ask for forgiveness when meeting in private. Choose a quiet place where you will not be disturbed.

Just take your time Better Late Than Early: The Influence of Timing on Apology Effectiveness. If you ask for forgiveness during a conflict or immediately after it, the apology will seem insincere: the emotions are too strong. Wait until everyone calms down and thinks about what happened.

Follow the rules

A dry, casually thrown “sorry” is not enough. But you don’t need to be too zealous. In addition, there are no guarantees that you will be forgiven. Therefore, prepare yourself and follow simple rules.

Be sincere . Show that you really regret what happened.
Don't make excuses . It's your fault. Dot. You should not anger your interlocutor by trying to shift responsibility.
Don't use any buts . They will automatically turn your apology into an excuse or even criticism of your interlocutor.
Focus on what you have done . “I’m sorry that my words offended you!” - doesn't really sound like a sincere apology, does it? Ask for forgiveness for your actions, not for how the person perceived them. For example: “I’m sorry that I rashly called you a bad specialist. I'm sorry. This won't happen again."
Don't shift the blame to others . If there are several offenders, do not focus on this.
Don't feel sorry for yourself . First of all, you should think about the feelings of the offended person, and not about your own. Express your regret, but don't describe your suffering.
Don't expect instant forgiveness and don't put pressure . The phrase “Well, I’ve already apologized 15 times!” forget it. Sometimes the victim needs time.
Back up your words with actions . Correct the mistake if you promised, and do not repeat it. Otherwise, your apology is pointless.

Take care of yourself

Remember that admitting a mistake and asking for forgiveness does not make you weak. To step over yourself and accept responsibility for the harm caused, you must have courage. You may even be able to benefit from this - learn to think about your actions.

God and the repentant man

There are three different words that appear in the Holy Scriptures that speak of God's attitude towards a repentant person.

Christ and the Sinner

This is, first of all, the word - forgiveness. What does it mean to forgive a person? He will not be reminded of what he has done.

But there is another word - a person is pardoned. He not only committed a crime, but also deserved punishment, but he is pardoned.

And the third word in Holy Scripture is fundamental in characterizing how God relates to our act of repentance. This word is justification, that is, it means that you were never guilty.

God in Jesus Christ has completely freed man from the power of sin. In the sense that a person no longer responds, if he has repented of sin, an act of repentance has occurred, then this is exactly what is called justification, that is, complete, total forgiveness. This is because after Christ has performed our act of redemption, God the Father looks at us through the wounds of His Son and sees us as justified.

What Christ did has such significance.

Why ask for forgiveness

Our brain believes that we are always right.
Admitting your own mistake creates Why It's Hard to Admit to Being Wrong cognitive dissonance. We think we will look weak, our self-esteem will suffer Refusing to apologize can have psychological benefits (and we issue no mea culpa for this research finding) . And we try to justify ourselves at all costs. The Lifehacker Telegram channel contains only the best texts about technology, relationships, sports, cinema and much more. Subscribe!

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Seek forgiveness - know how to forgive

Since we need forgiveness, we must learn to forgive. Otherwise, how to read the Lord’s Prayer, where there are the words: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

More about prayers of repentance:

Prayer of repentance for sins
Canon of repentance to the Lord
The Great Penitential Canon of Andrei of Crete

If, asking God for forgiveness, we ourselves do not forgive, then we cannot read the “Our Father” prayer. Then we will say to God: “Do not forgive us, just as we do not forgive” - this will be the meaning in our words, even if we pronounce the words of this prayer correctly.

Remembering that the measure of how we treat others is the measure of how God can treat us. We must approach these words responsibly: this means that when we forgive our neighbor, we ensure Divine forgiveness for ourselves.

Therefore, the one who needs forgiveness, the one who is forgiven, he must forgive and must forget that he has forgiven and be ready to repeat the act of forgiveness towards the person who seeks reconciliation with him.

Sacraments of the Church - help in healing sins

All sacraments existing in the church have healing properties. Baptism is the removal of original sin. If people did not sin, then there would be no second sacrament - the sacrament of repentance.

What sins are removed in the sacrament of repentance and confession? A sin is removed as a misdemeanor when a person confesses it to a priest. Then he goes to communion and is given communion for the remission of sins and eternal life.

Communion in an Orthodox church

The question arises: “And for the remission of what sins, if a person confessed and the sin was removed?” The fact is that sin is removed as an offense in the Sacrament of Confession, but the Sacrament of Communion reduces the very tendency to sin, what the Apostle Paul calls the law of sin, which lives in every person. That is, any sinful act is born from those inclinations that each of us has. They may coincide, they may not coincide, but it is in communion that the inclination itself, the cause of sin, decreases.

Next, the Sacrament of Unction is the healing of the soul and bodily infirmities. Wedding is a sacrament, indulgence in a person’s carnal infirmities and ensuring a normal family life.

Important: a person who considers himself a sinner must fearlessly go to church, because all the main sacraments of the church are connected with human weaknesses, sins, and bad inclinations. And if a person says that he does not go to church because he is a sinner, then he does not understand what church is.

All the sacraments are intended to help a weak person, so he has a place in the temple. And when a person says that he has no sins, he is deceiving himself.

How to achieve forgiveness from God?

Estimated reading time: less than a minute.

Reader question:

Hello! My question will probably seem banal, and you’ve already answered these questions 100 times, but I’ll ask anyway. How can I achieve the Lord's forgiveness? I don't feel like He hears me. And I have something to ask for forgiveness for. At a young age, I blasphemed Him, spat on icons out of anger or because of another failure. According to the Bible, I must return four times more to Him, but I don’t know how to draw icons, and I don’t have money either. God has probably already punished me for my sins: I am already 31 years old, I am not married and I am seriously ill (multiple sclerosis). Every day my condition is slowly getting worse. But I don’t know how to turn to Him so that He hears me! I don’t feel much faith, I guess. Just repent, but this is just to name your sin out loud, but how to really cleanse your heart? How to pray at home (I can’t always move on my feet at all to go to church), but pray sincerely, that’s how to discover this sincerity in yourself? And how can I overcome the despair that has taken possession of my soul? After all, this is a grave sin, and am I really doomed already?

Sergey

Archpriest Andrey EFANOV

Archpriest Andrei Efanov answers:

God's blessing be upon you!

Dear Sergius, you have suffered a terrible illness. You are right that there is nothing that God would not allow, but I will not undertake to say that illness is a punishment from God. Punishment in general is a “order,” an instruction, something that puts a person in a position where he finally begins to reconsider his life from the right point of view. That is, this is not revenge for an offense, but a situation with a focus on the future. It is possible that your illness is the result of some genetic processes in the body, that is, it would have happened in any situation - we don’t know.

The question is what should you do? You know, you don’t need to expect that you will feel something special or suddenly begin to pray in a special way. People pray in different ways and even differently at different periods of life. If you read the lives of saints, say, St. Silouan of Athos, you will see that they also experienced moments of abandonment by God, and the correctness of their choice was that they continued to do what they should, despite the fact that they had some kind of internal inspiration there were none. It was difficult for them, but they understood with their minds what needed to be done and what it was all for. It seems to me that this is very suitable for your situation: you understand what’s what. And now let's think about what we can do.

At home, you can stand or sit, as it turns out, and start reading morning and evening prayers from tomorrow. Since your pain is about sin, it will be very useful to read the Canon of Repentance to the Lord and the prayer canon of the Mother of God. They are in any prayer book, if necessary, you can find both texts on the Internet. The canon can be read at any time of the day, again, standing or sitting - whatever is convenient. You can read every day or every other day, slowly, reading the words to understand the meaning. Anything that is unclear, mark it down and then look it up, for example, in a dictionary (Church Slavonic - Russian, available online).

If you cannot come to church, you can always call the church and arrange for a priest to come to your home for confession and communion. If you have never gone to confession, ask to speak with a priest by phone to find out how you can prepare for communion. Traditionally, three canons are read the day before - the Repentant Canon to the Lord, the Prayer Service to the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel, and the Follow-up to Holy Communion. You can read all this two or three days before communion. You read the canon - you rest - you read another one or read it the next day. You can also pause inside the Sequence, say, after the canon (before the big prayers, you will see in the text).

As for confession, your job is to honestly name your sins. Then the Sacrament itself will be performed, and it is impossible to predict what will happen, because through the priestly prayer your heart will be touched by the grace of God. This does not always happen with the first confession, sometimes several confessions or some time of spiritual life are needed - but you will feel it. Therefore, now do not be embarrassed and do not wait for insights, but simply do what you must: invite the priest home and in confession name everything that in your life and behavior you understand as incorrect or not in accordance with the church commandments.

Next, agree with the priest when you can go to confession next time. If there is time, perhaps the priest will be able to talk to you a little.

If it suddenly turns out that the priest did not understand you or something went wrong, clarify everything you can with him, or another time call another church and invite another priest. But it is advisable that the same priest come to you: knowing you, he will be able to better give advice regarding spiritual life, and it would be more correct for him to be alone.

As for the visit itself, accept him as a guest. If you wish, treat them to what you can, at least tea. They usually ask about donating - this is at your discretion and within your means. The main thing is that the visit takes place.

God help you!