Asking for a blessing is what distinguishes ordinary believers (who visit the temple of God only on major holidays) from truly churchgoers. But even they sometimes get confused in matters of church etiquette, and it’s somehow inconvenient to ask the priest. How exactly did this concept arise in the Christian church, when and who can ask for it, which of the priests blesses people and in what situation?
What is a blessing
Priests are people who have received the grace of the Holy Spirit through the Sacrament of the Priesthood to serve the Church of Christ. They received special permission to bless Christians at their request.
A blessing is the actions of a priest aimed at wishing goodness and a happy fulfillment of a request to a person who has come to ask for God's help.
When the priest blesses the person who has asked, he folds his fingers so that they mean Jesus Christ. This means that our Jesus Christ sends us help through the priest.
This church ritual has its own canons that must be observed. If the ordination takes place in a church with a large crowd of people, then the priest overshadows everyone with the cross, the Gospel or the Chalice. In this case, everyone crosses themselves and bows at the waist.
And when he lights candles, blesses with his hand or censes, says “Peace to all,” then you just need to bow, without folding your hands as if you were personally asking for help. You need to lower your hands down and stand with a bow to the waist.
How to behave correctly if you want to receive a blessing for yourself? When approaching the priest, you need to fold your hands in a cross: right over left, turning your palms up, saying the words: “Bless, father (or lord).”
Having received the blessing, the believer must take the priest’s hand and lightly press his lips to it, as if to the invisible hand of the Savior Himself.
Saint John Chrysostom spoke about this action this way: “it is not man who blesses, but God with his hand and tongue.” That’s why the priest says, “God bless!”
About the correct attitude towards blessing
It is important to remember that blessing is not a magical ritual that guarantees success in all matters. Let us quote the words of Archpriest Sergius Adodin:
“Some people are inclined to perceive a blessing as magic: if you receive it, everything will come true; if you don’t receive it, it will go to waste. As if by pike command. Only you have to chase the pike, but it’s easier to find a priest.”
The consumerist attitude towards blessing distorts its true pious purpose. By asking for a blessing, we express trust in God, asking Him to intervene in our lives and guide us on the right path. We must reverently and humbly put God's providence above our own goals and interests. Archpriest Andrei Tkachev notes:
“I have heard many stories from believers about how powerfully grace worked upon them after blessings taken wisely. They became a source of strength and help.”
Some people are confused by the fact that when blessing you need to kiss the priest's hand. Sometimes this element of church etiquette is seen as a humiliation of human dignity. However, this is completely optional, and there is no humiliation here.
The hand of a church minister is kissed at will, not as a sign of submission, but out of respect for the sacred dignity. After all, by going through ordination as a priest, a person becomes a conductor of Divine grace. The Almighty gives him the right to perform the great Sacrament of the Eucharist. We also must not forget that through the priest the Lord himself blesses us. Thus, by kissing the priest’s hand, we seem to kiss the blessing palm of the Savior.
How to Receive a Personal Blessing
Many old women, seeing the priest, rush to him with folded hands. If the priest is not dressed and you do not know him personally, then you do not need to approach him. If he is on the street or in transport wearing the vestments of a clergyman, then you can approach him with folded hands.
What can you ask for blessings for? You can ask for good parting words for any good deed, as well as before the road, before starting a difficult task, in any difficulties in life.
If you see that the priest is administering communion and listening to the confession of a parishioner, then there is no need to distract him. You should not approach the priest several times a day. Especially to the same thing. Even one good parting word is enough to give your petition a good start.
Do not turn the words “bless, father” into a tongue twister. Let them sound light and solemn. You want your request to be successful. Our ancestors never started a good deed without prayer and good parting words from a priest.
Church Etiquette: How to Signify You Need a Calling of the Lord's Power
You can simply ask “Bless, Father.”
But churchgoers make their request without words. They bend their elbows. At the same time, the palms are held up, at the same time in a boat and crosswise, the right one on top of the left (as if trying to drink from a river or spring).
Seeing such a movement, the priest baptizes the person with his hand folded in a special way, after which he places it on top of the believer’s palms.
By the way! This is not a greeting with your confessor. If you meet him in church or on the street, you can greet him as if you were a friend or neighbor. But many people ask for blessings after this. This is allowed if the confessor is not in a hurry. But there is no special church rule for blessing after greeting.
Is it possible to kiss the hand of your confessor after this?
Yes. But this is optional .
Some Orthodox Christians kiss the priest’s hand after the ceremony. But not because they feel his holiness (after all, he is just a person, although he has a closer connection with the Lord than we do), but because with this hand the priest performs church sacraments.
If you don't kiss her, no one will be offended (and there will be no sin either).
Can a priest bless without a cross and cassock?
If in church the priest is always dressed in a cassock, then outside of church life (say, going to the market for groceries) he may be without a cross and a cassock.
An Orthodox Christian may approach such a priest for a private blessing if the occasion is appropriate for this.
Is it possible to invite a priest to your home?
To fulfill many requirements, the priest is invited home. If you know him, you can invite him by phone. Nowadays it is customary to invite people by phone. How to ask a priest to come home? The beginning of the conversation is: “Hello, is this Father Nikolai? Bless me, father." And then you need to briefly state the purpose of the call. When ending the conversation, thank and say again: “Bless.”
In order for the priest to fulfill your request, ask him how to prepare, for example, for the unction of a sick person or for his communion. And the laity themselves should know that they need to tidy up the room, take the dog out of the room, turn off the TV. Prepare candles, holy water and everything that is needed for the church ceremony.
At the end of the ceremony, the priest is allowed to offer a cup of tea. At the table, you can ask your confessor about what worries you. With such a conversation, you can learn a lot of useful things for yourself.
Blessing in the New Testament
Christ, who came to earth, did not abolish previous customs. He elevated and refined them, bringing them closer to the Heavenly ideal. For example, in the Sermon on the Mount, He uttered strange words for those people about loving enemies and blessing offenders. Previously, it was customary to love and bless good people, relatives, and benefactors. Enemies were usually cursed. But Christ expanded the concept of love: we must bless those who offend, and not curse!
This was quite unusual for people of that time. And some therefore did not accept the words of Christ.
Until now, some people cannot comprehend this instruction about love and blessing those who curse, hate, and wish evil. But the Orthodox must embrace this and strive to fulfill it.
Blessing - union with the Almighty
Receiving guidance through the application of hands, we already know that everything we asked for will be resolved for us in the best way.
Blessing prayers are not a magical effect, so do not contact a priest in such cases:
- For marriage, if there is no bride or groom yet;
- If you are not invited to work, then ask for a blessing. When should you ask for a job? When you receive an invitation, then contact the priest;
- At the birth of a child, but conception did not occur;
- To study at the institute, but there is no enrollment yet.
First you need to pray a lot, ask the Lord to make all this happen, and then come up for the application of hands.
Blessing in the Old Testament
The custom of blessing has been going on for a long time, dating back to the times of the Old Testament. The ancient patriarchs (Jacob, Abraham) blessed their children and those whom they wished well. There is a known case where, in order to receive his father’s blessing, Jacob pretended to be the eldest son. The blessing invoked the mercy of God, which is why it has been highly valued for a long time. The opposite of it was a spoken curse.
The custom of blessing has been going on for a long time, dating back to the times of the Old Testament. The ancient patriarchs (Jacob, Abraham) blessed their children and those whom they wished well. There is a known case where, in order to receive his father’s blessing, Jacob pretended to be the eldest son. The blessing invoked the mercy of God, which is why it has been highly valued for a long time. The opposite of it was a spoken curse.
The Old Testament priests also blessed the people. This was part of their many responsibilities.
When You May Not Receive Divine Permission
Can a priest refuse to give Divine permission or anointing? If he asks you about an upcoming event and feels that there will be big problems, he can talk to you, guiding you on the right path. Thank him for the warning. Don't get irritated, don't go against it. Sometimes the Lord Himself protects His children from erroneous actions.
Remember that blessing prayer is the strongest protection that works anywhere, and at any time.
Many of the priest’s ordinations have their own church canons. For example, if you are going to ask for permission prayer for marriage, then first ask your parents for blessings.
Before turning to the priest for a blessing to serve in the army, look for a job, or start a new business, first also turn to your parents.
How should laymen fold their hands? Open palms must be placed one on top of the other and extended towards the priest. Open palms represent loyalty, your humility, as well as honesty and safe intentions. As a sign of respect for the dignity of the priest, one must make a slight half-bow.
After receiving the prayer, the Christian takes the priest’s hand with open palms and lightly presses his lips to it. Kissing the priest's hand is only a symbol of humility and thanksgiving to the Almighty through His servant.
Many people consider this action unusual for them. If you do not want to kiss the priest’s hand, then this is pride speaking in you. Pride, as you know, is a great sin.
Rite chain:
- After approaching the minister of the Church, you must bow.
- Then a request is made, for the solution of which the clergyman asks for grace from the Lord.
- Next comes kissing the hand with a bow, as a sign of thanksgiving.
Sometimes priests do not give a hand to kiss. Then they make sure to place their palm on the head of the person asking. This is also a symbol of the descent of God’s grace on a person.
The concept of blessing in Orthodoxy
How to ask for a blessing from the priest? First of all, it is necessary to understand the meaning of the concept of “blessing”. Its immediate meaning can be explained as “pronouncing good words.” In Orthodoxy this is a polysemantic term. For example, this is the name for grateful praise of the Lord, similar to glorification. Or a good wish for a person, invoking the grace and help of the Almighty for him. In the Christian tradition, parental blessing of children for marriage or other important action is of great importance.
Blessing of an Orthodox priest
The blessing is also performed on material objects (for example, a meal). This action is similar to sanctification. In addition, blessings are exclamations made by the priest at important moments in the services. The exclamations can be both glorifying and invoking grace on those praying. At the same time, the priest makes the sign of the cross over the parishioners. Thus, God, through His intermediary, blesses everyone present in the temple.
But most often, a blessing is meant by the individual making the sign of the cross over a believer by a priest. Orthodox Christians take such a blessing from the priest in order to greet him or ask for permission, guidance and God's help in some important matter. Let us quote the words of Archpriest Stefan Feshchenko:
“The blessing is taught for the performance of good deeds that are important for a person. The blessing of God is invoked, which manifests itself in a person’s life.”
What icon can be used to bless children for marriage?
According to established tradition, they try to consecrate the marriage with the image of Our Lady of Kazan. On the day of its celebration in Rus', weddings were usually held.
In addition, you can bless the young:
- icon of Jesus Christ;
- in the image of St. Nicholas;
- any icon especially revered in the family.
Now the culture of parental blessing has been largely lost. Often it simply comes down to children asking for the consent of their father or mother for this or that step, and even more often, such consent is not required at all. This, however, is not due to the depravity of the younger generation, but to the loss of spirituality by the older generation: you cannot pass on to your children what you yourself do not have.
How many priests - so many opinions?
And finally, the most important thing! A blessing for one specific occasion can only be taken from one priest. Moreover, it is desirable that the priest knows you personally. If you have not received permission from one confessor, you should not run around looking for another, “more experienced” one who will definitely bless you. Otherwise, this action is profanated.
The blessing of a priest is not an exam that can be retaken by another teacher. If we are really looking for advice, then we should not insist on our opinion and “terrorize” the shepherds with self-will. We just come to church for something else. We are not interested in the answer that suits us, but in the one that ultimately turns out to be the only correct one.
It is better, having sincerely prayed, to ask the Lord to reveal His will to us through a confessor. The same thing needs to be done when we don’t know what to do. And then certainly God’s help will not be slow to come.
Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov talks about how not to turn a church activity into a sport:
About responsibility
Church literature says that blessing is a gift and an expression of Divine love. There are two participants in the process itself. Think about it yourself, why do you need to ask for a blessing from the priest, what is its meaning, if you don’t talk about your business? You need to understand: the one who conveys the gift bears a great responsibility before the Lord. Father acts on His behalf. But how should he think if the parishioner does not state the reason for the request, how to bless God knows what? The priest also answers for his prayer to the one asking. He gives him the go-ahead for some activity, opens the way to the goal. The clergy themselves describe their responsibility differently. Some people say that it is not necessary to designate a goal. This is practiced when the priest knows a member of the flock well. He is sure that he will not think of anything bad. If you have not yet established a trusting relationship with a clergyman, it is better to indicate the reason, at the same time you will understand what matters you can ask for the priest’s blessing. Although the last question can be called empty. Father will not refuse a conversation, he will try to help you sort out your plans. But he doesn’t always bless.
Mention in the Bible
From ancient times, Jews knew the invocation of the Name of God for every work, for human life, as well as verbal praise of the Creator. All this was designated by the term “berachot.”
Old Testament: God's commandments about the world
Scripture testifies: not a single important event in history happened without the clear action of God's Providence, which was expressed in direct commands concerning both the fate of the human race and individual families, even certain people:
- The first blessing was given to Adam and Eve: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Gen. 1:28);
- The Lord repeats the same words after the global flood, when only the family of Noah remained of all humanity (Gen. 9:1); this means the reconciliation of the Creator with people;
- God pronounces the following important command about the forefather Abraham, defining him to become the father of a “great nation,” especially blessed by the Creator: “... And I will bless you, and I will magnify your name, and you will be a blessing; I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse those who curse you; and in you all the families of the earth will be blessed” (Gen. 12:2-3).
Scripture defines all these commands of God as blessings, and their importance for humanity is not always obvious to people, but trust in the Lord still considers any expressed will of God as beneficial and good. Therefore, already in the Old Testament, blessing becomes synonymous with command, and following it is considered as obedience.
In the name of the Lord
Since ancient times, people led by the Spirit could also pronounce “good words” in the Name of the Creator. The power of the word here is determined not by the personal qualities of the one who pronounces it, but by the Name of God, whose will is expressed in the words of Grace.
Useful materials
From the Old Testament we know the story of the blessing of the forefather Isaac on his sons, Esau and Jacob. The youngest, Jacob, at the behest of his mother, pretends to be Esau. Thus, he deceives the grace intended for the firstborn. When Esau asks to call upon God’s mercy on him too, the grieving father can no longer do this:
“Esau, having heard the words of his father, raised a loud and very bitter cry and said to his father: My father! bless me too. But he said: your brother came with cunning and took your blessing... But Esau said to his father: is it really, my father, that you have only one blessing? bless me too, my father! And Esau lifted up his voice and wept” (Gen. 27:34, 35, 38).
Meanwhile, the blessing really was “one”, for such was the will of God. None of Esau’s attempts to resist his brother, even to kill the one chosen by the Creator, were successful, being a manifestation of self-will.
Permission and permission
In general, blessing has many meanings. And the first thing is a greeting when you see the priest. The second is permission, parting words or permission to take any action.
And third: the blessing can be received during the service, when the priest says: “Peace to all...”, “The grace of our Lord...”, “The blessing of the Lord be upon you...”. At this time, the priest makes the sign of the cross over those present. In response, people humbly bow their heads without folding their palms, because it seems impossible to kiss the blessing right hand. And if during the service the priest overshadows us with the Cross, the Chalice, the Gospel or an icon, we must first be baptized and then make a low bow.
God's blessing must be invoked not only in important matters and dangerous undertakings, but also in all everyday activities - on food, so that you can eat it in health, on your honest and righteous work, on all good deeds, so that success will accompany you, on your children, so that they were brought up in piety and faith, using their wealth so that it would increase.
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