Indifference is a part of a person’s emotional spectrum, characterized by a complete lack of interest, indifference to a certain topic, event or life in general. Indifference in character may be a prevailing feature or reflect an isolated case of a temporary condition; in total cases, it is not a separate feature, but a symptom of an incipient mental disorder or indicate a number of somatic diseases. This concept is synonymous with the word indifference, and at the same time it can concern both the sphere of relationships (when your loved one is not particularly affected by your life or psycho-emotional state) and the surrounding space (climate change, authorities, price increases, carnivals and holidays).
People’s indifference is most terrible in its total manifestation, when it begins to affect one’s own personality. In such a situation, it is no longer possible to justify the resulting state by mental exhaustion or trauma, selfishness, or the distribution of forces only on the main tasks.
When a person becomes indifferent to his own fate, further development comes down only to degradation. The reasons for such a strong degree of manifestation are the experience of serious stressful events and previous high overvoltage. Constantly living from a position of obligation leads to the fact that a person forgets how to want and desire; this mental function gradually atrophies and all that remains is life activity similar to a zombie.
Indifference to life contributes to the development of depression, arrest of development, both social and personal, and the destruction of significant social connections. The less interest a person has, the less he does, the worse his personal reality and direct participation become, and therefore indifference increases.
Contempt: what are we dealing with?
Contempt is a negative and derogatory emotion directed at oneself and other people. It is caused by the recognition of oneself, another person, who is not worthy, does not deserve respect and attention. This attitude borders on judgment, superiority, and arrogance. A person who despises himself treats himself with great disdain and disrespect. Contempt performs the function of dominance, superiority over others. It transmits information about status, significance, and strength. However, this model of behavior is more typical for individuals who are unsure of their status. They need this to assert their superiority. The strength and intensity of this emotion can vary, and its companions include anger and aggression. And a grin on the face at the moment of expression of contempt indicates a feeling of pleasure, joy from superiority. But people often disguise their contempt and disdain with a fake smile. Therefore, not everyone can recognize this emotional manifestation immediately.
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Depression often hides behind the adrenaline of contempt, causing a temporary increase in energy. In this way, a person manages to be in a non-depressed mood, remaining contemptuous most of the time. However, the rest of the time he almost always lives in depression and anxiety.
Contempt has not been given a place in the basic emotions, but it can be recognized by its characteristic facial expressions, raised eyebrows in surprise, a disgusted one-sided grin, and a mocking tone of voice. Also, such individuals keep their back straight and tilt their head back a little. They want to appear superior to the object of contempt and look down on him. These actions can cause a conflict situation.
The feeling of contempt and disgust can be considered related. However, disgust is felt towards unpleasant things, and contempt presupposes the presence of hierarchy and comparison. Both things and people can be disgusting. They despise only people. In addition, the one who shows contempt for another person feels a sense of superiority over the object of contempt. And this attitude extends to all spheres of life with the presence of comparison. But each of us has our own pros and cons, abilities and capabilities. There is only one life. Therefore, you should not waste your strength and energy on comparisons and negativity.
Kinds
In relationships, marriage
It occurs more often than other types and is very difficult for a partner to live with, since a once close and beloved person suddenly stops paying attention and becomes completely alien and distant - this hits the most vulnerable places.
The qualities that previously attracted him seem to disappear and he turns into a completely different person. Unfamiliar and indifferent. It is very lonely next to him, unbearably lonely, and not everyone is able to cope with this feeling.
Male
From childhood, boys are taught not to cry and to endure suffering, instilling the idea that they should be strong and able to withstand anything. This is, of course, an interesting and attractive idea about the existence of ideal men, but in this case, they need to turn into emotionless robots, which is what some try to do in order to live up to the mythical image.
At work
I am not attracted to the activities that I come to do, so much so that I have to force myself, forcing me to get ready in the morning. Unfortunately, the consequences of working without enthusiasm are either dismissal or lack of prospects for career advancement, and this all only exacerbates the negative attitude towards the chosen profession.
Towards the environment
Killings of animals, destruction of nature, political issues: they may not bother a person at all. Either because he does not want to “get involved” in a process that requires large amounts of energy and time, or because they bother him so much that he chooses to isolate himself and not notice them.
In any case, whatever the reason, such a person relieves himself of responsibility for involvement in anything in this world. For example, when buying a mink coat, he does not think about the fact that this living creature was once brutally killed, and by paying for it, he makes his contribution to this business.
Or he doesn’t go to the polls, giving other people the right to make decisions regarding the future of the country in which he lives.
To the children
Sometimes it happens that for some reason a parent becomes unable to feel love for his children, performing only functional duties. Such children are usually seriously traumatized and believe that they are not worthy of love, do not deserve it, and so on. And when they grow up, they risk becoming the same, because they don’t know how to behave differently.
What does indifference mean?
Indifference is the state of a person’s psyche when he is indifferent to others and everything in general.
what is happening around him. He shows no interest in life, the feelings of others, events and phenomena around him.
Often the reasons for such an indifferent state of people are high-intensity emotional or physical stress or experienced stress. In this case, they may lose interest not only in the world around them, but also in themselves.
The battle against indifference to life must be started immediately, otherwise it can transform into apathy and depression. But fighting apathy and depression is much more difficult and longer. In addition, inaction in this case threatens the individual with a stop in development and inevitable degradation.
Anyone can become indifferent for various reasons. For example, if he begins to push himself into the framework of obligation. Each of us has certain responsibilities. However, you should not forget about yourself, rest and positivity.
However, the reasons for such a feeling in relation to one of your loved ones, relatives, friends may be selfishness, pride, etc.
If a man is demonstratively indifferent to his woman, this threatens to break their relationship. But women often exhibit this behavior as well. Some people want to arouse jealousy in this way, to attract the attention of the object of interest. However, they themselves can destroy a connection that has not yet been born.
The reasons that one spouse is indifferent to the other may be the following:
- everyday problems kill passion and romance;
- an obsession with meeting the needs of the family strains and alienates spouses from each other;
- Stopping caring about the appearance of especially women also worsens the situation.
Interest is quickly lost in:
- obsessive;
- boring and gloomy people;
- overly preoccupied individuals with various problems of universal proportions;
- those who often make scandals;
- too caring and attentive.
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Indifference to people
In the modern world, almost no one is surprised by indifference to people. We are informed about this by various media sources. Everyone, without exception, fears such a worldview. However, when faced with indifference, many of us often do not recognize it, because it can be well disguised.
But it's a really dangerous feeling. This is a real ruthless killer of all living things, feelings, including hope. Indifferent individuals are petty, low and do not want to bear any responsibility. But it will not be possible to make claims, because there were no actions on the part of an indifferent person. They are incapable of sympathy and regret.
There is an opinion that people are born indifferent. That is, the child receives this quality by inheritance. It can be compared to cowardice and meanness. Someone else's pain, grief and suffering cannot find a response in the soul of such persons. They don't listen to those who need help. However, indifferent individuals with a callous soul usually do not consider themselves this way and do not admit to themselves or others that they have this quality. They find a lot of excuses for their behavior patterns and thinking.
This feeling is hidden behind different masks. Indifferent people tend to deceive themselves and others. But they pose a threat, because true intentions are not immediately recognized. It is disappointed hopes and disappointments that hurt greatly. Such individuals are called subhumans, who occupy the lower stages of human evolution. Chekhov considered this feeling “the premature death of the soul.” This is actually a cruel emotional manifestation that can destroy love and faith in goodness. If it occurs in a family between spouses, then they are simply doomed to break such a relationship. Here we are talking about the manipulation of one spouse by the feelings of the other. The victim is in constant stress and often cannot even understand how to behave further with his indifferent manipulator.
Meaning of the word
Indifference is a multidimensional concept, which can simultaneously mean indifference to one’s own person and the continuation of life, and disinterest in loved ones. This can be a permanent personality trait (the most common option) or a consequence of difficult events suffered (then they talk about temporary indifference, from which it seems possible to remove a person, unlike a change in personality structure).
The more indifference a person develops, the more his qualities and nuclear structures become frustrated, since only motivational development is the key to maintaining an active and productive position. From the moment of indifference to what is happening around and to oneself, the destruction of personality and its degradation begins. When the time frame is measured in days, the consequences are insignificant, practically unnoticeable and can be easily corrected, but in a situation of prolonged stay in such apathy, irreversible changes occur. The most serious consequences of indifference are the emergence of personal and social maladjustment, which fit the classification of psychiatric diseases and are included in the practice of treating psychopathologies, as symptoms of schizophrenia-like conditions and psychopathic manifestations.
The opposite of such indifference has always been considered creativity and creative predisposition, as a way of active interaction with reality and restructuring of the space of the soul and the physical world. Artists and poets, composers and photographers can never complain that their day was boring or they need entertainment - such people are always looking for options for independent development, even while in a confined space.
There is not only personal indifference, as a variant of an independent tragedy, but also the indifference of loved ones - this is a separate influence of the echoes of such a manifestation of character. In the world of the cold and insensitive, nothing changes, but those who are constantly forced to feel useless compare their own presence to a bedside table or stool. Such interaction is perceived painfully and quite sharply by the opponent himself, and is traumatic for his psyche. It turns out that indifference negatively affects both the broadcaster and everyone who comes into contact with this person.
There are no studies where the harm and level of personal damage is greater, but others certainly have more opportunities to actively change the situation. If the indifference of a loved one becomes unbearable, then a choice arises - to go to a place where you are valued and worried about your successes and failures, or to stay close to such an insensitive person, losing through a lot of pain and your ability to feel, i.e. also become imbued with indifference.
What to do?
First . If your loved one has changed, try talking to him about the reasons for the change. Maybe he has a serious problem that he is trying to hide in this way, pretending to be indifferent? It is only important to refrain from making claims, scandals, hysterics and other things, so start a conversation only when you realize that you are ready to hear the truth or have the strength to cope with it.
Second . If you are trying to influence your partner using perceived indifference, then think about how it hurts. Are you sure that you are deliberately ready to cause pain and sometimes unbearable suffering to your loved one? There are examples when they punished for treason in this way, but ignoring it does not relieve the suffering of the one who was offended. Even if it seems to him that he is not experiencing anything. Only forgiveness will allow you to free yourself. It is not necessary to continue to be together, but it is necessary to forgive in order to release the burden, take care of yourself, and move on.
Third . If this happened to you, try to understand what is behind your insensitivity? What are you hiding from, or, on the contrary, hiding? Only by realizing the cause can you find a way to heal.
Fourth . Work on your self-esteem, especially after encountering total loneliness as a couple, and in general. You will learn recommendations on how to increase it in the article “The best methods for achieving success that will help you finally believe in yourself.”
Fifth . Be honest and sincere with yourself, you shouldn’t put on a mask and play the role of a happy person if your soul is sad, you won’t hide from melancholy, but you won’t feel joy either. It’s better to have courage and look into the eyes of those emotions that you are avoiding; only by living through them can you free yourself and “break the spell.” If you are afraid that you cannot cope alone, enlist the support of your loved ones or a qualified specialist. The main thing is to act before the swamp of apathy sinks deep.
Sixth . In the case of psychological trauma, it will take time. Learn to simply be close to the one who has suffered, and wait without reproaching or putting pressure on him.
Causes
Depression
As you know, this is a disease, and it may well deprive a person of not only interest in everything that is happening, but also the desire to live. Therefore, it is important to be careful, if a loved one suddenly “fades away”, you should not throw hysterics, scandals, or give arguments and facts of his indifference and callousness.
This will only aggravate the situation and can lead to the worst consequences - provoking suicide, as an attempt to finally get rid of suffering. You can learn more about this from the article “How to find a way out of depression yourself: the most effective methods.”
Punishment or manipulation
Yes, in relationships they sometimes resort to similar measures, ceasing to pay attention and give love even for the slightest offenses, wanting to “motivate” to obey and do only as the manipulator wants.
Something like carrots and sticks, they either shower you with gifts and compliments, or suddenly become indifferent, ignoring your presence until you realize your mistake and correct yourself.
Such traps are usually set by perverse narcissists or psychopathic personalities. By the way, this is also the behavior of a banal egoist, an egocentric person who believes that the whole world revolves only around him, and for him.
Illusions
When a person is hurt, he sometimes has a great desire to be insensitive, so as not to experience disappointment, bitterness, total sadness, and so on. That’s why they become indifferent, people have the illusion that it’s easier to live this way.
For example, it seems that without thinking about where and with whom a loved one spends time, he will be calm and happy. But, in fact, by blocking negative emotions, a person deprives himself of pleasant, positive ones. Indifference can easily kill love; gradual distance and lack of emotions can defeat even the strongest feelings; they will simply fade away until they disappear completely.
Alexithymia
This is a disorder in which a person is not able to feel and track his emotions, he simply does not understand what is happening to him, since he can only think logically, without resorting to sensations and intuition.
Professional burnout
When a person overextends himself at work, he does not have the opportunity to replenish his energy reserves and rest, which over time leads to exhaustion. He simply does not have the resources to feel interest, joy and other feelings.
Psychological trauma
Something may happen that will cause unbearable feelings that a person is simply not able to cope with at a given period, and in order to preserve the psyche, the body, as it were, “turns off” the emotional sphere, freezes it.
7. Alcohol or drug abuse
Over time, due to any of these types of addictions, the structure of the brain is destroyed, which affects the psyche and emotional sphere. By the way, an excessive amount of medications also leaves its mark on the ability to feel.
Mental disorders
Because of them, a person becomes detached and unable to experience any emotions or sensations, plunging deeply into his own inner world and fantasies.
Personality structure
He was born like this, callous, unable to empathize and generally worry, plus his parents were the same, which is why they didn’t teach him to care, be interested in something, be attentive, etc.
