Adultery - what is it, the sin of adultery and fornication in Orthodoxy

General concepts about marriage in Orthodoxy

The union of a man and a woman, concluded in compliance with all Christian traditions, is a church sacrament. This means that two loving people (the bride and groom) by mutual consent promise to love, respect and be faithful to each other.

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For this, they receive blessings and God’s grace from the church for the birth of healthy children and for increasing the well-being of the family. “The great sacrament of marriage...” is what Apostle Peter called marriage in Orthodoxy. “...And the two shall become one flesh...”, just as Jesus loved his believers and shed his blood for faith in the Church, so a husband must love his wife, and she must obey him in everything.

Both spouses should bear equal responsibility for the well-being, stability and harmony in the family. Adultery is a moral crime against one’s loved ones and, above all, against one’s other half. This is considered a great sin according to Christian commandments: “You shall not commit adultery (do not commit adultery),” says the seventh commandment of the Old Testament of the Bible.

Ignoring Biblical laws by a believer leads to betrayal of his faith and loss of mental balance. Sometimes instantaneous lustful thoughts dull moral feelings, corrupting his good character.

Churchmen are sure that the body of a believer is a temple of the Holy Spirit living in it. The sin of adultery or fornication kills chastity. From chastity comes love, and from love all other benefits.

What is the difference between fornication and adultery

Fornication is the constant satisfaction of one’s physiological needs with different partners. The moral behavior, actions and thoughts of such a lascivious person have nothing in common with Orthodox traditions and religion.

Fornication has a broader meaning in Christianity, but this act is considered a lesser sin (compared to adultery) since it occurs outside of marital status. This means that it does not violate the seventh commandment of the Old Testament.

A vulgarly dressed woman of frivolous behavior, who with all her appearance is trying to attract the attention of unfamiliar men, can be accused of fornication. The desire to be the center of attention, to catch longing glances for the sake of one’s own vanity, cynicism and lust.

A man can fall under the status of lascivious due to his frivolous behavior with the opposite sex. An uncontrollable desire for sexual intimacy with different women is also a great sin, depriving an Orthodox Christian of his God’s blessing, energy and strength.

Adultery involves breaking many commandments. This is not only adultery, betrayal of a loved one. The priests believe that the eighth commandment - do not steal - is also violated here. After all, your body now belongs to your other half; by offering yourself for sexual pleasure to another person, you stole from your own wife or husband.

The ninth commandment is also violated - do not bear false witness. Usually the one who cheats begins to hide it and lie in every possible way. It is lies in family relationships that become the first reason for divorce.

The Church calls not to communicate and not to eat at the same table with those who are lascivious and adulterous, who openly declare this. Such pride and glory is the path to corruption of soul and body. This doomedly destroys the union of love and deprives children of a parent.

To prevent lust for another woman from being aroused, a wife should always be attentive to her husband and extinguish the flame of passion, drawing her husband’s attention to her appearance, beauty, affection, humility and love. The husband, in turn, must be extremely sensitive to his wife’s goodwill.

A couple in the sacred union of marriage should not shy away from each other. The only exceptions can be fasting and prayer. This is the only way to avoid the temptation of Satan from your own intemperance.

What does one lose in fornication and adultery?

• Man not only destroys his family, he puts a huge wall between himself and God. This means that in moments of despair, it will be difficult for you (and even priests) to offer prayers for health, the lives of loved ones, and also for your own blessing.
• Immorality is the path to oblivion. If a person is controlled only by natural instincts and the need for physical pleasure, then he is not capable of giving love and making someone happy. Such individuals end up alone, forgotten by devoted relatives and those who once shared their bed of debauchery.
• The authority and reputation of such sinners becomes very unstable. Such behavior is condemned and not accepted by a healthy society. In a business environment, they will not enter into a major financial deal with a person who is not stable in family affairs. If he easily betrays his loved ones, then he can just as easily deceive his partners.
• The wild lifestyle of a family person leads to mental anxiety, nervous breakdowns, mental instability, creates distrust of others, and deprives the opportunity to enjoy simple human joys.
• An unfaithful husband (or wife) begins to get sick more often and may die before his partner. Its early energy wear affects it. The body does not have time to replenish physical and emotional resources, but the doors to such replenishment are simply closed. The habit of living “without brakes” gives rise to early death.
• Marital infidelity can cause a loss of reason, logic and business acumen. And this will cause the loss of the main source of income. For many, such a life ends in poverty and lonely old age.

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Thursday, July 12, 2021 15:42 + to quote book

Let everyone's marriage be honorable and the bed undefiled; But God judges fornicators and adulterers.

Every cower shall be put to death.

(Exodus 22:19)

Do not lie with a man as with a woman: this is an abomination.

(Leviticus 18:22)

And do not lie with any cattle, so as to shed semen and become defiled by it; and a woman should not stand in front of cattle to have sex with them: this is disgusting.

(Leviticus 18:23)

Do not defile your daughter by allowing her to commit fornication, so that the land does not commit fornication and the land is not filled with depravity.

(Leviticus 19:29)

A deep abyss is the mouth of harlots: anyone with whom the Lord is angry will fall there.

(Proverbs 22:14)

for a harlot is a deep abyss, and a strange wife is a narrow well;

(Proverbs 23:27)

And I will come to you for judgment and will be a swift accuser of sorcerers and adulterers and those who swear falsely and withhold wages from a hireling, oppress the widow and the orphan, and repel the stranger, and do not fear Me, says the Lord of hosts.

(Malachi 3:5)

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

(Matthew 5:28)

If your right eye offends you, pluck it out and throw it away from you, for it is better for you that one of your members perish, rather than your whole body being cast into hell.

(Matthew 5:29)

For, uttering inflated idle talk, they ensnare those who are barely behind those in error into carnal lusts and debauchery.

(2 Peter 2:18)

For certain people have crept in, destined from ancient times for this condemnation, the wicked, turning the grace of our God into an excuse for debauchery and denying the only Master God and our Lord Jesus Christ.

(Jude 1:4)

Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, like them, committed fornication and went after other flesh, and were subjected to the punishment of eternal fire, were set as an example -

(Jude 1:7)

then God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to uncleanness, so that they defiled their own bodies.

(Romans 1:24)

They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature instead of the Creator, Who is blessed forever, amen.

(Romans 1:25)

Therefore, God gave them over to shameful passions: their women replaced natural use with unnatural;

(Romans 1:26)

Likewise, men, abandoning the natural use of the female sex, were inflamed with lust for one another, men committing shame on men and receiving in themselves due retribution for their error.

(Romans 1:27)

And even though they did not care to have God in their minds, God gave them over to a depraved mind - to do lewd things,

(Romans 1:28)

so that they are filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, malice, filled with envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil spirits,

(Romans 1:29)

They know the righteous judgment of God, that those who do such things are worthy of death; however, not only do they do them, but they also approve of those who do them.

(Romans 1:32)

Therefore let not sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts;

(Romans 6:12)

As during the day, let us behave decently, not indulging in feasting and drunkenness, nor in sensuality and debauchery, nor in quarrels and envy;

(Romans 13:13)

Or don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor wicked people, nor homosexuals,

(1 Corinthians 6:9)

Food is for the belly, and the belly is for food; but God will destroy both. The body is not for fornication, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

(1 Corinthians 6:13)

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I, then, take away the members of Christ to make them members of a harlot? It won't happen!

(1 Corinthians 6:15)

Or do you not know that whoever has sex with a harlot becomes one body with her? for it is said: the two will become one flesh.

(1 Corinthians 6:16)

Flee fornication; Every sin that a person commits is outside the body, but the fornicator sins against his own body.

(1 Corinthians 6:18)

But, in order to avoid fornication, each have his own wife, and each have his own husband.

(1 Corinthians 7:2)

The works of the flesh are known; they are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

(Galatians 5:19)

hatred, murder, drunkenness, disorderly conduct and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do this will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

(Galatians 5:21)

They, having reached the point of insensibility, gave themselves over to debauchery so that they commit all uncleanness with gluttony.

(Ephesians 4:19)

But fornication and all uncleanness and covetousness should not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints.

(Ephesians 5:3)

for know that no fornicator, or unclean person, or covetous person, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

(Ephesians 5:5)

Therefore, put to death your members on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil lust and covetousness, which is idolatry,

(Colossians 3:5)

For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from fornication;

(1 Thessalonians 4:3)

so that there may not be any fornicator or wicked man among you, who, like Esau, would give up his birthright for one meal.

(Hebrews 12:16)

Let everyone's marriage be honorable and the bed undefiled; But God judges fornicators and adulterers.

(Hebrews 13:4)

And another angel followed him, saying: Babylon is fallen, is fallen, the great city, because she made all nations drink of the wrathful wine of her fornication.

(Revelation 14:8)

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How to avoid punishment and return to the Orthodox faith

The first path to salvation is awareness of one's own sin. Only the deepest repentance and humility can return God's blessing. Fornication is not considered an involuntary, impulsive offense. To sin like this requires some calculation and preparation. A prodigal person always has time to come to his senses and stop.

What makes the sin of adultery so terrible is that a person commits it consciously, and not in a state of passion or stress. Counting on their impunity, an unfaithful husband (wife) does not take into account the fact that atonement for their misdeeds can pass on to future offspring.

No one is immune from temptation and seduction, this is especially common among wealthy segments of the population. But it will not be possible to avoid punishment even in a fabulous state.

Many people, having repented, seek salvation in prayer. To strengthen your desire to atone for sin, you need to go to church and confess. It is especially effective to be present at the morning service, when your thoughts are not consumed by pressing problems and the bustle of life.

During such a period of rethinking reality, a person’s values ​​change, or rather, they return to the right direction. Repentance helps a person on the path to enlightenment; it can open up new facets of existence for him.

Returning to the family, a person begins to realize what he could lose and how difficult it would be for him to be alone. But you shouldn’t stop at visiting church just once. Attend Sunday services, give alms, and rush to help those who need your support.

Patronage, charity, patronage of orphans and large families - everything will matter when drawing closer to God. The grace of God will begin to work the moment you begin to experience joy and happiness from your actions. Immersion in the implementation of good deeds will take time away from searching for physical pleasures and pleasures.

But we should not forget about our own households. Pay attention to your spouse, remember what conquered you in your half, made your heart beat more often and faster. Why did you decide to connect your life with this person?

For such a perception of moments of the past, joint walks in the fresh air, sports games, and travel are suitable. Create your own family traditions and rituals. Make your time together more varied and educational.

Traditions and facts of world practice

In the history of the church, cases are mentioned when, for instances of adultery, priests were deprived of their rank of clergy, and ordinary people were excommunicated from attending church, confessing and taking communion for fifteen years.

Adultery in the modern way of life is the first reason for divorce proceedings. In some countries, such a fall could lead to death, but, as a rule, this concerned only women. This inequality was associated with the fact that the man was later unsure of his relationship with his natural children.

Not all world cultural traditions condemn extramarital sex. For some, this lifestyle allows them to maintain personal freedom in sexual behavior. In Russia, family relationships are regulated by the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

In our country (according to the law), adultery is not a valid reason for divorce. The final decision on divorce is made personally by each spouse. But at the same time, the law can exempt one of the spouses from paying alimony for the other if his unworthy behavior in the family is proven.

In Judaism, according to the Old Testament, a man is prohibited from living with an unfaithful wife. And in Christianity, even a lustful glance at another man’s wife will be considered the great sin of adultery and fornication. In Islam, such extramarital affairs could be punished with a hundred lashes. In Muslim countries, even today, a woman can be executed for fornication and adultery (although the Koran says nothing about this).

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07.02.2015

FIGHTING THE SPIRIT OF FORMINATION.
- the longest, everlasting and for a few ending in victory.

The passion for fornication begins to manifest itself in a person from early maturity and does not stop until he conquers his other passions.

Since the rebellion of this passion is twofold (in the body and in the soul), then it must also be resisted with twofold weapons. Fasting alone is not enough to achieve perfect chastity. It is necessary to add to it both repentant contrition of the spirit and persistent prayer against this bad spirit (the passion of fornication). In addition, one must constantly read the Holy Scriptures, engage in contemplation of God, alternating this with physical labor and handicrafts, which keep thoughts from wandering here and there. Most of all, one must have deep humility, without which victory over no passion cannot be achieved.

(Venerable John Cassian the Roman)

How high is the dignity of chastity, so strong are the slander of the enemy who takes up arms against it.

Therefore, we must, with all diligence, not only be abstinent in everything, but constantly lament in our hearts with prayerful sighing, so that the Holy Spirit, with the gracious dew descending into the heart, cools and quenches the furnace of our flesh, which the king of Babylon (the devil) is constantly trying to kindle.

(Venerable John Cassian the Roman).

When lust is ignited, think about the unquenchable fire and the undying worm, and the flame in your members will immediately go out.

Otherwise, having weakened, you will be defeated and get used to sinning, although you will repent. Therefore, from the very beginning, be strict with any such desire, so that it does not overcome you and so that you do not get used to yielding victory to the enemy. After all, habit is second nature.

He who is accustomed to yielding victory to a sinful desire will always be denounced by his conscience; and, although in front of others, he will show a cheerful face, but inwardly he will be sad due to the convictions of his conscience. For the property of lust is to impart painful sorrow to those who fulfill it. Therefore, pay attention to your soul, always having God within you.

(Venerable Ephraim the Syrian)

When the demon begins to draw tempting objects in your imagination and presents to you, in your mind, the beauty of a woman that you once saw, bring the fear of God within yourself and remember those who died in sins - think about the day when your soul will be separated from your body, imagine, trembling the voice of God, which will be heard by those who are careless about a righteous life and who do not keep the commandments of Christ:

“Depart from Me, you who are cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels” (Matthew 25:41).

Also imagine a worm that doesn’t die and the torment that doesn’t stop. Think about this, and the thirst for pleasure will dissipate in you, just as wax melts in the face of fire, for demons cannot resist the fear of God for even a moment.

(Venerable Ephraim the Syrian)

Overcoming this passion is conditioned by the complete cleansing of the heart, from which, according to the word of the Lord, the poison of this disease flows.

“From the heart,” He says, “come evil thoughts... adulteries, fornications, and the like” (Matt. 15:19).

(Venerable John Cassian the Roman).

Do not let your eyes wander here and there, and do not peer into the beauty of others, lest your adversary use your eyes to overthrow you.

(Venerable Ephraim the Syrian)

If the demon of fornication bothers you, rebuke it, saying:

“May the Lord consume you, you full of stench, you demon of uncleanness.”

For we know who said:

“The carnal mind is enmity against God” (Rom. 8:7).

(Venerable Ephraim the Syrian)

If carnal warfare arises in you, do not be afraid and do not lose heart.

Otherwise, you will give courage to the enemy (the devil), and he will begin to instill in you tempting thoughts:

“The burning within you will not cease until you satisfy your lust.”

But having endured the Lord, pour out your prayer with tears before His goodness, and He will hear you, and will draw you out of the pit of passions (unclean thoughts) and from the clay of the mud (shameful dreams), and will set your feet on the stone of purity (Ps. 39:1 -3).

Then you will see the help coming to you from Him. Just be patient, don’t relax your thoughts, don’t become exhausted, bailing water out of the boat, because the pier of life is close.

Then you will call, and He will say:

"Here I am!" (Isa.58:9).

But He is waiting to see your feat: are you really ready to resist sin even to death?

So, don't be faint-hearted:

God will not leave you. The Lord looks at your feat, and the faces of angels and a crowd of demons look at him. Angels are ready to give a crown to the winner, and demons are ready to cover the vanquished with shame. Be careful not to sadden your own (angels) or make strangers (demons) happy.

(Venerable Ephraim the Syrian)

Abba Pimen speaks regarding lustful thoughts:

“If a chest filled with things stands for a long time and the clothes in it are not changed, then they will decay over time. The same thing happens with bad thoughts put into us by the devil: if we do not put them into practice, they will decay and disappear over time.”

(Abba Pimen)

The novice asked Abba Agathon how to deal with fornication.

The elder replied:

“Go, throw down your strength before God [humble yourself extremely before Him] - and you will find peace.”

And indeed, if every success in virtue is a matter of the grace of the Lord and overcoming various passions is His victory, then even more so the acquisition of purity and overcoming prodigal passion is a matter of the special grace of God, as evidenced by the holy fathers, experienced in cleansing from this passion.

For, being in the flesh, not feeling its sting is similar, in some way, to leaving it. And therefore it is impossible for a person to fly on his wings to the heavenly heights of perfection if the grace of the Lord does not lift him out of the earthly mud. For people are not so closely comparable to angels by any virtue as by acquiring the grace of purity.

(Venerable John Cassian the Roman).

An indicator of purity and achieved perfection is that on vacation or in a pleasant dream no seductive image arises in a person, or, having arisen, this image does not arouse any carnal desires in him.

However, involuntary desire, although not imputed to sin, indicates that the soul has not yet reached perfection, and the roots of passion have not yet been uprooted.

(Venerable John Cassian the Roman).

Tempted in all things like us, except sin

When we are tempted to have unclean thoughts, then we must remember that Jesus made a way for us without sin: “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin.” . Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Heb. 4:15-16) At the throne of grace we receive the help we need: “For just as He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are tempted.” (Heb. 2:18)

The short-term joy that a person feels while living in fornication quickly passes, but the sadness that must be reaped after this is long-lasting.

For a Christian there is no real happiness without fulfilling the will of God. Relationships in fornication, with their short-term joy, quickly pass, but the sadness that must be reaped after is long-lasting. Blessed are those who, like Jesus, choose in suffering to do the will of God and do not give in to temptation. Then we become a blessing and an example where we are. And we receive lasting joy here on earth and later in eternity.