Envious present
Thousands of years have passed, but envy continues to live in our lives.
Two friends work in the organization. They have known each other since school and graduated from college together. And it so happened in life that one is a little more successful than the other. He studied better, was the life of the party and at work he was appreciated and promised a promotion.
And the second one is always a little behind. He no longer rejoices at his friend’s success, but envies him. Malicious envy forces him to look for ways to harm him, trip him up and perhaps get promoted himself.
The envy living in him pushes him to meanness. Being envious of another, he does not look for a way to become better himself, to achieve better results and with his successes to prove his right to get a good position. An envious person believes that the best place at work, in life, in love should belong only to him, and not to his rival. Isn’t this proof: envy is a sin.
Advice. Stop being jealous! Go to confession in Church, love your neighbors, start praying for those you envy!
Orthodoxy teaches us that there is a place for every person on earth. Everyone, with effort, can realize themselves professionally, humanly, spiritually. It depends only on the person himself what his life will be like.
Gregory the Theologian
Photo: Uspeniya.cerkov.ru
Saint Gregory the Theologian said that a person’s main weapon against envy should be reproof. Envy is a sin that is not without justice, therefore a person will be punished for this sin during his lifetime. The father says that it is easy to recognize an envious person even by the dissatisfied expression on his face, and envious people also have problems of a psychosomatic nature.
What does Orthodoxy think about envy?
Many holy sages throughout history have tried to understand and tell people what envy is. Here are just some examples.
John Chrysostom believed that envy is the embodiment of the devil and enmity against the Lord. An envious person is even worse than a demon. A demon harms a person, an envious person is ready to cause harm to others like himself. As the elder said: Envy is worse than enmity.
The hostile person fights honestly and can stop the hostility if the cause of the conflict has exhausted itself. An envious person will act secretly and will never stop fighting; he will not be able to explain the reason for his behavior. This is only the devil's influence.
To cope with sinful envy, I. Chrysostom suggested this: all people should live with God in their souls. Being close, people should support each other, help without malice and envy.
Another saint, Basil the Great, believed that it is necessary to fight envy only through prayer. Daily prayer will help you deal with sin. In addition, he gave two simple tips to combat this sin.
1. There is no need to envy: wealth or fame, respect or awards - everything is ordinary and earthly. And not everyone, even having received what they want, can use it all correctly.
2. We must stop envying and direct all the accumulated negativity towards our own creation and transformation.
He also believed that people themselves often give rise to sinful envy. You should not brag about your successes, money, happiness. More modest behavior will maintain calm and peace between people.
Feofan the Recluse
Photo: Nebo365.ru
Holy Father Theophan the Recluse advises overcoming the sin of envy through “I don’t want.” Changing your attitude towards someone to whom envy is directed will be incredibly difficult, but it is absolutely necessary to do so. Feelings such as sympathy and compassion should become an envious person’s habit, which will help gradually completely eradicate envy.
Envy as a “mortal sin”
Today I want to talk about envy. This feeling is confidently placed on the list of mortal sins (though only in the Western Christian tradition). In religious interpretations of the creation of the world, it is Satan’s envy of God that determines the formation of Hell and, in general, the dualistic nature of the world order. In the biblical story of the sons of Adam and Eve, Cain kills Abel, torn by this very feeling. Often behind the seemingly senseless and destructive actions of a person are strong envy and the hatred it generates. I think that this is also why the feeling of envy is perceived extremely negatively by most people, which, of course, prevents it from being recognized and analyzed in oneself, and therefore from its spiritual development. Let's try to reduce this gap at least a little.
Many famous writers and poets, philosophers, theologians, psychologists and psychotherapists, even politicians, studied this emotion and wrote about it. Just listing the primary sources would take several pages, not to mention citing them. However, I think it would be wrong not to voice the points of view of at least some of them.
According to one dictionary, envy is a feeling of annoyance caused by the well-being and success of another. According to another version, this is an unkind attitude towards more fortunate people. In any case, the conversation is about our difficult feelings towards the good of others. One of the most profound researchers of envy, psychoanalyst Melanie Klein, directly stated that envy is the desire to take away, destroy, spoil an attractive object that belongs to another. (This point of view looks convincing and may be true, but it is too categorical for a person to understand his emotions, which limits its use in the process of self-knowledge.) This is the first reason for human dislike, envy. The second reason is the presence in the complex emotion of envy, in addition to anger, a feeling of shame, and, accordingly, the painful experience of falling self-esteem. The study of shame often reveals an explosive combination of rage and shame, literally feeding off each other's destructive energy. Shame is a painful experience of one’s own inferiority, and envy causes it automatically, by definition. Shame is one of those emotions that a person tries to avoid at all costs, and the desire to deny the envy that has arisen is an attempt to escape from the experience of shame. La Rochefoucauld once noted that we are often proud of even the basest of our passions, but “envy is so shameful that we will never dare to admit it.” The famous German philosopher Max Scheler described the painful feelings of powerlessness and deficiency experienced by an envious individual.
This is what avoiding the awareness of envy looks like in life.
Alina, 30 years old: “I have absolutely no feelings of envy: in our family we outlived it many years ago. Previously, we were very tormented by this feeling and then we decided to change this situation. Now we are completely calm about other people’s wealth and success and are very proud of it.”
(Let me remind you that feelings arise unconsciously, therefore no conscious volitional effort will be able to prevent their appearance, only awareness. However, for such psychological manipulation you will have to pay a high price: loss of control over unpleasant feelings that supposedly do not arise, but fully declare themselves In this same regard, the religious condemnation of envy seems illogical: how can you condemn something that appears against your will?)
The emergence of envy presupposes the presence of two subjects: the one who envies, and the one to whom this feeling is directed. Despite such a clear and specific description of the conditions for the emergence of envy, one must accept the truly absolute nature of the spread of this feeling: all people envy each other!
In response to such a sensational statement, you will probably be rightfully indignant, but let's think logically. If someone else has something attractive to us that we are deprived of at that moment, this circumstance cannot but arouse some feelings in us. Negative feelings. (Remember that unmet needs and unfulfilled desires always cause negative feelings.) Now try to find a more suitable name for these feelings than envy?! This formulation seems correct to me. Another thing is that in most cases this emotion is so weakly expressed that we simply do not notice it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Our life is literally permeated with emotions, they are obligatory companions of our mental life, but for the most part we are not aware of them, since this is not necessary. But with envy it’s more complicated. If it arises and does not go away, it should be noticed, otherwise it cannot be dealt with, and it will have a destructive effect on our psyche and life.
Freud wrote that the basis for the formation of society is the desire of people to control the destructive nature of the “primordial envy” inherent in man. To achieve this, society puts forward certain requirements for individuals to implement the ideas of social justice and equality; too much inequality will threaten the existing structure of society. In fact, the very sense of justice owes its origin to envy!
The German sociologist Scheik, in his monograph “Envy, a theory of society” (1971), which caused great resonance in Western Europe, also proves the ubiquitous nature of envy. “Envy is the main anthropological category related to the biological arsenal of man,” the author emphasizes and repeats Freud’s thoughts about the reasons for the formation of a society whose ideas of a fair nature are dictated by the fight against human envy. Shayk believes that “envy is growing because the American dream is spreading more and more, that everything is possible, but such desires are not fulfilled so quickly.” And, of course, I must add that not everyone has it and not always.
The feeling of envy plays a truly huge role in life on Earth. While understanding its powerful destructive potential, its strong positive impact on both the development of human society and progress through stimulating competition should not be underestimated. However, perhaps such a wide prevalence of this feeling also indicates the historical youth and insufficient health of such a unique formation as the human psyche.
(Materials from the book “Psychology of Appetite” by Evgeniy and Anna Yalovega)
Start to rejoice
A person who is satisfied with himself and life never envy. What is envy? The Bible says it is a feeling of dissatisfaction with all that God gives us.
Start rejoicing with those who rejoice, and not envy. In order for this to work out better every day, realize for yourself that envy is a “thrombus” that prevents a person from receiving all the good things that the Lord has prepared for you, be it some kind of profit or success in any business.
A person who is envious and rotten at heart is always mistaken, believing that just about now, after a couple of mean acts perpetrated on others, he will become happier, more successful, richer. It won't. The Bible truly says:
An envious person rushes to wealth and does not think that poverty will overtake him.
And it’s really true: not a single envious person has ever become happier. But such people have more than enough problems: either God is punishing them, or they are punishing themselves, allowing the black feeling to devour them from the inside.
A person’s awareness of this can already set him on the path to correction. You need to, having recognized the sinfulness of your feelings, gradually learn to rejoice in the successes of others. At first you will have to look for reasons to be happy, and over time the brain itself will learn not to envy.
Where to put chlorophytum to get maximum health benefits from it
How to eat grapefruit correctly so as not to feel bitterness
A mistake in your passport can change your life: a new series on Rossiya-1
Admit envy
Holy Scripture teaches that a person must be able to recognize envy in himself. There is no need to consider it a character trait; envy is a sin, and this feeling cannot be characterized in any other way.
The Bible says:
Having put aside all malice and all deceit, and hypocrisy, and envy, and all slander, love the pure milk of words (the Bible, the Word of God), so that from it you may grow into salvation, for you have tasted that the Lord is good.
It is with these words that the Apostle Peter addresses us in Scripture.
Just the awareness of the sinfulness of one’s thoughts can set a person on the true path.
“Fool” and “simp”: how to refuse swearing now
Infectious disease specialist: one dose of vaccine may be enough for those who have recovered from COVID-19
A puppy found under the hood of a car in Khanty-Mansi Autonomous Okrug has found an owner
Paisiy Svyatogorets
Photo: Sretenie.com
Holy Father Paisius the Svyatogorets said that envy can be called simply a ridiculous state, and only common sense will help to overcome it. Envy is a passion of the soul. To cope with it, you need to be content with what you have. If it works out, then work harder and achieve more.
Pray for your opponent
If your opponent's success bothers you, try wishing him even greater success and praying for him. Wish him all the best as if you wish the same for your children. Love your opponent, “love your enemy,” as the Bible teaches, and you yourself will not notice how the success of this person will gradually become less and less interesting to you, and your own affairs will improve.
The thing is that when a person begins to pray for others (especially opponents), God begins to change his heart for the better, filling it with love and joy. After all, the Bible says:
Love is patient, love is kind, not envious, not boastful, love is not arrogant, does not act outrageously, love is not selfish, not touchy, and does not hold grudges.
As soon as a person fills his heart with sincere love, the black feeling immediately leaves him. The world becomes much brighter, and life becomes more joyful, “for where there is envy and grumpiness, there is disorder and everything bad.”
Handsome, you can’t take your eyes off: Dmitry Pevtsov showed what he looked like 37 years ago
Will make you work hard: how to “tame” a fashionable beauty monster
5 Zodiac Signs Who Get Stressed and Panic Too Easily
One of the seven mortal passions
Focusing on other people's successes, no matter what causes it, leads to harmful consequences. After all, we are talking not just about the desire for someone else’s (or the same as our neighbor), but about resistance to the will of God for each person.
In addition, the envier, as a rule, tries to find in his “object” - the subject of envy, black sides, all kinds of negativity, which means he falls into the sin of condemnation, anticipating God's judgment.
Over time, condemnation becomes “second nature” to the envier, which means it leads him straight to destruction, irrevocably moving him away from the Lord.
1
December
1963
Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) said in his sermon: “If other evil has a certain limit, then envy has no limit - it is constant evil, limitless, endless sin.”
That is why envy, especially according to St. Ignatius (Brianchaninova) “bringing to every possible atrocity to one’s neighbor” leads to eternal death.
Where does an evil thought come from?
The cause of sin, according to many holy fathers, is pride. St. Tikhon Zadonsky says:
“This passion is for those who think of themselves that they are something in the world, and thus dreaming highly of themselves, they judge others to be nothing.”
But it is not only uncontrollable pride that provokes the emergence of passion. Modern psychologists and experienced confessors say that, in addition to pride itself, the cause of painful dissatisfaction with the well-being of another can be:
- dependence on other people’s opinions, environment: for such a person it is extremely important what brand of phone is now “in fashion”, what vacation spots are prestigious; instead of paying attention to his own life, he is busy with someone else's;
- such a lack of self-sufficiency may come from low self-esteem, or be a consequence of trauma from humiliations experienced, perhaps in the past; the traumatized person is afraid of any failure, and at the same time has a hard time accepting the successes of others;
- finally, sin is provoked by the modern social atmosphere, which teaches competition and the race for success from childhood; The idea that everyone has their own measure, their own purpose is unpopular, and therefore a spiritually inexperienced person is easily influenced by the environment.
Accept God
Accepting God can also get rid of envy, especially if the person was not previously a believer. As soon as people begin to accept God and the Savior into their lives, their hearts begin to fill with love for themselves and others: slowly at first, and then faster and faster. The world around is changing for the better, envy and thoughts do not arise - sinful thoughts themselves leave the head of a loving person.
