"Save me, God!".
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Prayer for family is relevant for every person. It is natural for everyone who wants to start a family, live in understanding and respect with their spouse, parents, children, etc. In the understanding of an Orthodox believer, family is mutual love, support, and respect. This all happens accompanied by faith in the Lord.
Today you can order a prayer service for your family and pray at different icons. After all, each of them has its own miraculous effect and special meaning. In this article we will look at the main examples of who to order a prayer service for the family.
Why do they order a prayer service?
Women often order a prayer service to the saint to get married and get rid of loneliness; they ask for support on a difficult journey, to get rid of life’s troubles and hunger.
Asking people note that he quickly responds to prayers. There is no specific list of cases that can be addressed. He helps in any matter.
Sincere prayer before the image of the saint helps:
- find your only soul mate;
- recover from complex diseases;
- improve your financial situation.
It doesn’t matter where the conversion will take place in a church or home environment. He always hears and will help.
How to order a prayer service to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker
When is the best time to serve a prayer service in church:
- for birthdays and baptisms,
- for illnesses and operations,
- if people succumbed to the fall into drunkenness, drugs, fornication.
How to write a prayer service to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker:
- you must submit a written request in advance and indicate in it a prayer service to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker;
- indicate the names of those to whom the prayer service will be read;
- write the name of the person giving with gratitude.
The note writes the name in the genitive case, but does not indicate the degree of relationship, rank, etc. You can use the following phrases: “pregnant”, “baby”, “sick”, “youth”, “soldier”. The inscription “custom” is indicated at the top. The holy minister performs a prayer service to the Saint, which is indicated in the note. For example, perform a “prayer service to Nicholas the Wonderworker for the successful marriage of his daughter.” Give the note to the shop. It is very practical to not be present.
Text of prayer:
Miracle Worker, Defender! I give you praise, Saint Nicholas. Save me from various troubles. I address my prayers to you! Rejoice, Nicholas, great wonderworker! (3 times at the end of each ikos)!
We cry to you: Rejoice (hereinafter R.), for you drive away crying; r., because you bring joy; r., image to the lambs and shepherds; r., purifying disposition. R., who gives light to everyone and is loved by everyone; r., radiating immaculate light. R., an equal interlocutor for the Angels; r., serving as a mentor to good people. R., an example of pious faith; r., an example of meekness of spirit. R., for you deliver us from bodily passions; r., for you fill us with spiritual pleasures.
R., deliverer from sorrow; r., giver of grace. R., saving from sudden troubles; r., the giver of desired goodness. R., comforting in trouble; r., dealing with offenders. R., lifting those who have fallen; r., supporting the fallen spirit. R., for you expose every lie; r., because you put the truth into minds.
R., exuding healing; r., helping the suffering. R., a giver to the needy; r., giving abundance to the suffering. R., who knows how to anticipate our requests; r., strengthening the health of the sick and old. R., returning the lost to the true path; r., a faithful servant of the mysteries of God. R., helping to trample envy; r., who helps to find a good life.
R., who delivers the poor from hardships; r., the giver of imperishable wealth. R., protecting from rebellion and warfare; r., bonds and captivity destroying. R., who intercedes in troubles; r., protecting from great misfortunes. R., saving many from death; r., who saved many from injury. R., for you save sinners from cruel death; r., for you give eternal life to those who repent.
R., the mirror of all virtues; r., for all those who come running to you, a strong wall. R., after God and the Mother of God, all our hope; r., the health of our bodies and souls is salvation. R., for through your intercessions we are freed from eternal death; r., for thanks to you we are preparing for endless life.
O most holy and wonderful Father Nicholas, comfort to all who mourn! Accept our present offering and implore the Lord to deliver us from Gehenna with your godly intercession, so that we may sing with you: Hallelujah.
Repeat the first paragraph.
This prayer must be said for forty days to get the effect. To do this, you must follow the rules:
- The duration of reading the prayer is 40 days. If a day is missed, you must start from the beginning again.
- You should pray alone, so that no one interferes.
- Prayers are performed in front of the image of the Saint.
- You should not talk about prayers to anyone. This is an individual matter.
- Visualize what the request is about.
- If the prayer is not pronounced in accordance with the text, this is not the main thing. In this matter, the main thing is faith and sincerity.
Also read: Nicholas the Wonderworker, the most powerful prayer for loneliness
A strong family? – With faith in Christ
Wedding.
Photo: D. Afrin Bishop of Orekhovo-Zuevsky Panteleimon (Shatov) - Chairman of the Synodal Department for Church Charity and Social Service, Manager of the Eastern Vicariate of Moscow, Confessor of the St. Demetrius School of Sisters of Mercy, Confessor of the Orthodox Help Service "Mercy" - often meets with young people , including for conversations about marriage and family. At these meetings, questions are raised that are especially concerning to girls and young people: on what foundation can a strong family be built? how to find love in this world? how to overcome loneliness? how to choose your future spouse? How to resist the temptations of modern society? The material published below is about one of these meetings. Bishop Panteleimon said his holy word about love and joy, and then answered questions from those present.
Communication with Christ is the way out of a hopeless situation
We live in a time when the family is being destroyed. It is being destroyed, first of all, because people decided to look for a way out of the problems that are so numerous in the world today. They repeat the mistake that Adam and Eve made in paradise. God was with them. They lived in Paradise. There was no evil there, and God wanted them to become gods by grace. But they obeyed the voice of an evil spirit, who seduced them with an offer to become “like gods” by eating the forbidden fruit, violating the commandment of God. Thus, the evil spirit deceived the first people to seek the path to perfection through the fruits of knowledge of this material world. Modern people follow the same false path of Adam and Eve. People think that science and economics are the most important things for humans. They try to solve problems, but the problems only increase. And we know where this will ultimately lead.
Marriage in Cana of Galilee
The family is destroyed because people lose touch with the source of love - with God
The family is destroyed because people lose touch with the source of love - with God. And if we want God to arrange our life, to help us in this life find someone who can be our spouse, then we must turn to God for help.
We understand that not every person in the modern world can find a worthy life partner. But it’s better not to connect your life with some unworthy person, because otherwise your life will be even worse. Only the Lord is able to show us the path that will lead us to joy. After all, we all want joy and love. And love is possible not only in marriage.
Jesus Christ talks about love for people. The Gospel contains a commandment about love even towards enemies. 2000 years ago, Christ came to Earth, lived with the apostles, died on the cross, rose from the dead, ascended to Heaven and remains with us. In communication with Christ, all problems are solved. This communication is the way out of the hopeless situation in which humanity finds itself.
People who do not know how to solve family and other problems in this life find all the answers in communication with Christ. I think that if there is unpeace, restlessness, joylessness in your soul, it is not because you do not have a family. There is another reason. It is probably that you are far from God. You do not go to Christ, you do not want to let Him into your heart, you do not want to accept Him, to unite with Him in the Sacraments of the Church.
A believer does not feel alone
The Lord came to earth for this reason, so that we would not be alone
A person who wants to start a family usually complains of loneliness. The Bible said when Adam was created by God: “It was not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18). But the Lord came to earth for this reason, so that we would not be alone. He said: “I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). People who loved and knew Christ said: “What I lack will be compensated by fellowship with the Lord.” The Lord never disgraced these hopes. He always came and consoled, helped and pleased those who had a lack in this life, but prayed to Christ.
Creation of Eve.
Blessed Matrona was blind and disabled, but she found the grace of God and happiness in this life. The martyrs who suffered for Christ sometimes did not even feel their torment. People who gave away everything they had, and therefore had nothing, owned the whole world when they found Christ. “We are saddened, but we always rejoice; We are poor, but we enrich many; We have nothing, but we possess everything,” says the Apostle Paul (2 Cor. 6:10). The monks who renounced everything, shut themselves up in cramped cells and caves, even buried themselves in the ground - received that joy that this world cannot contain, which is incomparable to any other joy.
The main problem of humanity is that people suffer from loneliness. All modern literature, music, and cinema are about this. This problem is considered by philosophers and journalists. They write a lot, discuss what to do and what to do to solve this difficult problem - to save people from loneliness.
But what is the reason for loneliness? Loneliness arises precisely because the soul does not have communication with God. What is the way out? Christians know where the exit is. The way out is to turn to the One who came to Earth and, without ceasing to be true God, became a true Man like us - in Christ Jesus.
When Adam was in Paradise, God was there. But this God, who was in Paradise, was not God incarnate, but an abiding God. Adam saw Him somehow. But when the incarnation of God took place - God came to earth and became Man - the situation in the entire Universe changed radically.
If you don't love God, how can you love a person?
Now we cannot refer to the fact that we have no joy, to the fact that we are alone, because Christ is with us, Who came to earth, we can have communion with Him in the Church Sacraments. Without this fellowship, no individual, no family, no society, no whole humanity can have the fullness of joy. Because if we could have joy without Christ, why would Christ become a Man? No, there are no alternative sources of joy and life to Christ.
Eucharist
Jesus Christ gives us His Body and Blood under the guise of bread and wine in the Eucharist. He died for us and is ready to die for each of us again if necessary. Jesus Christ loves us and will love us as no man can love, as no father, no mother, no groom, no bride, no husband, no wife will love us.
If now, when you live alone, you have no fellowship with Christ, if you neglect His love, if you do not respond to this love with anything, then how will you live with a person like you? Who has shortcomings, who will not love as Christ loves? Think about it! This is the cause of all the unrest: unpeace and pain in your life. This is precisely why your soul is empty, this is precisely the reason for the tragedy of your loneliness. The source of this tragedy is your free choice. Only you decide whether to go to Christ or reject him.
“I’ll have a child”
A child is not a dog, you cannot “have” him. A child needs a family
Someone is trying to overcome loneliness anyway: they decide to give birth to a child “for themselves.” The woman thinks: “I’ll have a child. I’ll select his father based on blood tests so that he’s healthy, with normal heredity, and I’ll give birth to his child.” This is selfishness. These women do not think about the child they want to give birth to, but about themselves. And they don't need a family. But a child is not a dog, you cannot “get” him. A child needs a family. And how can a child grow up without a father?
Give love to those who need help
At the same time, how can you talk about loneliness when so many people need help? There are so many children who need love! There are families where no one loves the child. There are orphanages, there are disabled children whom no one is going to adopt or adopt into their family. Give them this love, try to do it not in your dreams, not in your plans, but in life.
Some people say: “I have love in my soul, but there is no one to pour this love on. I need a person on whom I would pour out all my tenderness, all my love, so that I would take care of him, prepare what he likes to eat, look after...” There are vessels for this love: homeless people, orphans, patients in hospitals, large families where the mother does not have enough love and care for all the children, lonely elderly people, people of all ages and situations. There are a lot of people who need love. We have a community of volunteers who help people who need our help and love.
Sometimes the words: “I’m lonely. I would like to have my own family,” is actually a lie, a deception, a cover-up. We do not know how to love and rejoice. We don't know how to believe in God. But we are looking for some kind of replacement for all this. Some people need a drug, some a bottle of vodka, some a computer game, and some a family. But family is no joke. This is serious business.
Marriage and physiological needs
There is another problem that needs to be mentioned. The person says: “I need to start a family, I can’t be alone because I need to satisfy physiological needs.” A person cannot do without food and drink. But a person can easily live and be happy without “this.” “This” is completely unnecessary for a person. When he has learned “this”, has seen enough of all sorts of rubbish, dreamed of all sorts of nasty things, then, of course, he cannot live without “this”. But you can get used to chewing manure, and then without manure there will be no life.
Marriage is not about satisfying any “needs,” but about learning to love and sacrificially serving others.
What to do? Break the habit! If you become an alcoholic, then you need to go to a doctor and recover from alcoholism. If you are a drug addict, there are centers that help you get rid of drug addiction. In the same way, a person can and should be cured of this supposed need. In marriage, she will only bother you. Marriage is not about satisfying any “needs,” but about learning to love and sacrificially serving others: your spouse and children.
Marriage is a school of love and chastity. An unchaste person, entering into marriage, indulging his passions, can often become even worse. He will need something else to somehow satisfy his passions. But this is some kind of bestiality. A person must live for the soul, for the spirit, he must not indulge his body. This is not a compelling reason to get married.
A believer gets married in order to create a Small Church, to learn to love, to serve, to learn to obey, to humble himself, to be responsible for another, to look after, to care for someone. You need to practice this in advance. Maybe the Lord does not give you a loved one while you still do not know how to love like that, while you only have it in your dreams.
Prayer for creating a family. Photo: A. Filippov
Let's learn this. Let's create such courses. We will give each of you a ward whom you will love and take care of: for some a child, for others a homeless person, for others a sick person. I understand that this is funny, maybe it sounds like I’m exaggerating a little, but in principle this can be done.
And your loved ones need help: mom, dad, grandparents, relatives. There are a lot of people around us who need help.
Live joyfully!
We all have talents. Some can write poetry, others can play musical instruments or sing. It can be very interesting to live in the world. We must take advantage of this opportunity - it is interesting to live while we are still living.
We need to build a schedule for a happy life, a joyful life. There is no need to rush to catch up with something, there is no need to rush to do everything. You need to make life joyful, so that your soul rejoices. Christ, the Church, will help you achieve this. The Church has experience of a happy life.
Well, one little practical advice: go to bed early and get up early. This is important to avoid discouragement.
Morning is the best time for prayer
“The soul, renewed by sleep... asks of itself to be allowed to go where all its joy is - before the face of the Heavenly Father.”
If you are alone, you definitely need to pray. To do this, you need to get up early in the morning. There is a place in the Gospel that talks about how the Lord in the morning, “rising up very early,” went out and retired to a deserted place and prayed there. Saint Theophan the Recluse says: “Here is a lesson to get up early and devote the first hours of the day to prayer in solitude. A soul renewed by sleep is fresh, light and capable of penetration, like fresh morning air, therefore it naturally asks to be let into where all its joy is, before the face of the Heavenly Father, into the community of angels and saints.”
It is more convenient to pray in the morning than later, when the worries of the day weigh on the soul. But, unfortunately, these words were written when the rhythm of life was a little different. You probably won't agree with this. It may be easier for you to pray in the evening than in the morning. But I noticed from myself that I remember the morning prayers by heart, but I can’t remember the evening prayers: in the evening my head gets tired. Some pray only in the evening, and in the morning they are in a hurry, as soon as they wake up, they immediately run about business... But it is very important to start business with prayer. Morning is an important time for prayer.
Reading with analysis
No need to read the news! No need! Why immerse your mind in this?
You also need to think about what to read. Because not everything needs to be read. No need to read the news! No need! Why immerse your mind in this? Moreover, these news were written by people who do not want to talk about what is really happening, but to form our one-sided opinion about this event, to turn our thoughts in some direction. And they write only terrible things, so it seems: it’s already the end of everything! Why read all this? You will already learn about the most important things. The Third World War will begin - they will definitely tell you, don’t be upset!
You need to read good books, listen to good books - now you can find audio recordings of books on the Internet. Make a list of good books and read or listen to something good in the evening. Reading good books helps a lot to become happy.
To overcome loneliness, you definitely need to do something together: it could be some kind of joint service, sports, recreation, pilgrimages, hikes... You need to be creative. You need to play sports: the body must work. There is no time for sports, just leave the snow when it falls, sweep the yard if there is no snow. Girls should not engage in boxing, weightlifting or play football - the sport that makes them strong and graceful is suitable for them.
For men - wrestling, boxing, weightlifting. Or play football. You can sign up for tennis, you can organize bike rides...
You come to the Liturgy as a sinner and unclean, but you leave as a saint.
The most important thing in life is the Liturgy. It is important to prepare for the Liturgy, to pray in such a way, to participate in it so that it is joyful - as joyful as it was for the holy righteous John of Kronstadt, who said: “When I do not serve the Liturgy, I die.” He denounced the people of his day for their lack of vital participation in the Eucharist. One must love the Liturgy as the saints loved it.
Bishop of Orekhovo-Zuevsky Panteleimon. Photo: Press service of the Synodal Department for Charity
I cannot imagine life without the Eucharist. This is the most important moment of the day, the most important moment in my life. This is such a joy! It's new every time! Each time you listen to these words in a new way, repeat them, read them. You come to the Liturgy as a sinner, bad, bad, dirty, unclean, with some bad thoughts, but you leave as a saint. Liturgy purifies a person, makes him different in union with Christ. During the Liturgy, a Christian receives the gift of the Holy Spirit.
The basis of spiritual life is to have a confessor
Everyone should have their own parish, their own temple, their own confessor
Everyone should have their own parish, their own church, their own confessor. How to choose a confessor? If a person lives in the taiga, where there are few priests, where there are few churches, it is probably difficult to do this there, but in Moscow there are so many good priests.
Photo: Pavel Ivanov
Should there be a confessor in your parish, or is this not important? In your parish! And it is always better to confess to one confessor. Should there be one mother or how many? There is always only one primary school teacher, and there is also only one English teacher. If there are different teachers, then different pronunciation, different teaching methods. Of course, there must be one teacher, one mother, one father, one Motherland, one confessor, one Church, one God. Fathers are unanimous, but still give different recommendations.
The basis of spiritual life is to have a confessor, a spiritual leader, a teacher.
Recently, the Bishops' Conference adopted a document on the participation of the faithful in the Eucharist. It tells us how the laity should participate in the Liturgy today. It very often says: “This must be decided by a person with his confessor.” How often to receive communion, how to fast, what prayer rule for the Liturgy should a person have? If there is no confessor, how to solve this? A confessor is needed in order to learn to obey at least a little.
Being able to obey is an important quality for family life.
After his speech, Bishop Panteleimon answered questions from those present.
Before you walk down the aisle
– What feelings can serve as sufficient grounds for marriage? When there is no strong love, but there is affection, sympathy, respect, is this a good reason?
– There must be not only feelings, but also reasoning. The heart must agree with the mind. The mind must agree with the heart. Because it is incorrectly said: “You can’t order your heart,” “It’s stronger than me,” and the like. It is very dangerous.
When the mind and heart agree, and the parents give a blessing, and the confessor blesses, then in a year you can think about starting a family
When the mind and heart agree, and the parents give a blessing, and the confessor blesses, then in a year you can think about starting a family. Maybe earlier, if the confessor gives his blessing.
– How to build relationships correctly so that infatuation grows into love?
– I think it is very important to follow the following rule: when a girl starts dating a young man and she develops feelings for him, she must “keep her foot on the brake.” She should not allow these feelings to develop. Because until he offered her his hand and heart, she could be very mistaken in his intentions. Young people are changeable and picky. The “market” for brides is large, and they do not choose a bride right away.
We must keep control of ourselves. Prayer and confession help with this.
Photo: A. Filippov
For infatuation to grow into love, time and the will of God are needed. Falling in love is a feeling, a desire that blinds a person, when a person does not see the shortcomings of another and is guided only by his heart. Falling in love comes in different forms. It happens that falling in love is simply called attraction to a person of the opposite sex. But this is not falling in love, it is called differently.
Before getting married, you must try to see in your chosen one all the bad things that are in him in order to understand who you are marrying. So that it doesn’t turn out like this: she married one, but married another. But there will be no turning back: the priest has already married. Therefore, we must take our time and see everything soberly, realistically: what is he like? When you try to see it, then love can appear, which is as the Apostle Paul says about it: “Love is patient, is kind, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, is not rude, does not seek its own, is not angry, does not think evil, does not rejoice in untruth, but rejoices in the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” (1 Cor. 13:4–8).
– If you like a young man, but things don’t work out for you as quickly as you would like, does this mean that he is not your man, that he is not meant for you?
- No, that doesn’t mean it. Anything can happen.
After people have agreed that they want to get married, a year must pass. And there is no need to rush under any circumstances
After people have agreed that they want to get married, a year must pass. And under no circumstances should you rush: choosing a bride or groom happens once in a lifetime! It is very important not to make mistakes!
– Is it true that every person has his own betrothed or betrothed, that is, a person prepared by God?
– Everyone has a Guardian Angel, that’s for sure. For everyone, it seems to me, God has prepared a confessor. I can testify to this too. But about the betrothed...
– Can the Lord change His plan for man?
– Do you remember the story about the prophet Jonah and Nineveh (Jon. 1)? The prophet Jonah was sent to the city of Nineveh to tell the inhabitants that in three days the city would be destroyed for their sins. And the prophet did not want to go there, because he knew: God is humane and can change His plan. And if he predicts something that will not come true, what kind of prophet is he? And Jonah wanted to run away from God, but the Lord arranged it in such a way that he ended up in this city and told its inhabitants: “Your city will be destroyed.” They began to repent, cry, and ask God for forgiveness. The Lord had mercy on them. Jonah was so upset! He left this city, sat down under some plant with large leaves - and sat there in despondency because his prophecy had not been fulfilled. Then the Lord sent worms, they ate this plant, and the sun began to scorch Jonah. He became even more saddened. And the Lord said to him: “Are you sad that the plant has withered? But in this city there are so many children who have not yet grown above the stirrup of a horse, well, don’t I feel sorry for them? If they repented, I must forgive them.”
The Lord changes His plans. There was a plan for our Motherland that it would be betrayed to Catholicism for the bad life of the people, and our kings would be foreigners. But the Lord heeded the prayers of the Mother of God and all the saints, the Time of Troubles changed, Moscow was liberated from the Poles, Tsar Michael was elevated to the Russian throne, and his father was elevated to the Patriarchal throne. A wonderful time has come in Russian history.
God can change His plans for us too. Even if a “betrothed” is not ready for a girl, but she is ready for marriage, the Lord Jesus Christ will see that this is a wonderful girl - a future mother of many children, who will be able to raise holy children - I emphasize: holy children - then He will create a husband for her “from nothing,” because God can raise up children for Abraham from stones.
Bishop of Orekhovo-Zuevsky Panteleimon (Shatov). Photo: A. Filippov
Or maybe it’s the other way around: a “betrothed” is already ready for a girl, but she begins to behave ugly: she stops going to church, doesn’t take communion, lives without a confessor, doesn’t keep fasts, watches all sorts of nasty things, sits on the Internet all night instead of pray to God. And now this “betrothed” finds someone else. Or he died: he had a heart attack, got hit by a tram... The plan changed. The Lord can punish so severely. Scary? Excuse me. Therefore, try to behave correctly.
– How should an Orthodox girl behave in order to show her interest in the young man she likes?
– If a person is Orthodox, then you need to go to his confessor. If he does not have a confessor, it is better not to communicate with him. If there is a confessor, you can talk to his confessor and say: “So, well, I like this person.” If the confessor sees that you are a good girl, he will give hints to the young man - you know, as only a confessor can give hints. He also thinks about his child, about how to arrange his life.
– If I still haven’t learned to choose, how can I learn this?
“You need to pray and ask your confessor for advice.” The confessor will tell you how to choose. I repeat: the heart and mind must be in harmony. You need to choose a good person. He should be kind, sympathetic, humble, quiet, meek, courageous, joyful... Am I painting an ideal image? We must strive to ensure that these qualities are present. So that he is not a drunkard or a drug addict, so that he does not fight. And so that you don’t sit on the Internet all the time. And for him to be chaste is also important.
Is it possible to pray for marriage?
– When I ask God for a husband, for some reason I always feel ashamed that I am so sinful and unworthy of God’s mercy and attention and dare to ask God for something for myself. Is it true or false?
Marriage is not at all the joy that is usually imagined. This is a feat! This is a cross! It is very difficult
- Of course it’s false! Marriage is not at all the joy that is usually imagined. This is a feat! This is a cross! It is very difficult. And it’s difficult to give birth to children. Anyone who has given birth knows what it's like.
Asking God for marriage is both possible and necessary. There's nothing wrong with that. Marriage is a cross and getting married is a good thing.
“I’ve been going to church for seven years, I went on a pilgrimage, but I didn’t get what I asked for.” Is it worth continuing to pray? Maybe my prayer doesn’t reach God? Am I not pleasing or am I praying in the wrong way?
– It seems to me that you need to include the desire to get married as if in the context of your whole life. So that it does not become overwhelming. You can want it - it’s natural, it’s normal, there’s nothing wrong with it. But life must not be limited to this. We must live happily, freely, joyfully. This desire can be expressed to God, but one cannot get hung up on it. It is absolutely necessary to ask for the Kingdom of Heaven.
Every desire expressed to God in prayer must end with the request: “Lord, it is not my will that will be done, but Yours – as You want.” You definitely need to pray like this. Otherwise, you can achieve your goal, but then it turns out that you didn’t need it, it wasn’t useful, and it was against the will of God.
– You say that you need to be joyful and happy, regardless of whether you manage to start a family. But won’t it happen that a person will come to his senses closer to the age of 40–50 and understand that he lived joyfully, but now there is no joy in life. What should you say to your loved ones who reproach you that, trusting in God, you are carefree and do not take active steps to create a family?
– What active actions can you take? Post your photos on VKontakte or Facebook and get to know everyone who writes? Should you respond to all calls to meet people on the Internet? Go to family clubs? Staring everywhere, buying nice clothes? Behave like “modern girls”: go to nightclubs and bars? How is this “active action”?
They reproach you, then tell your mom this: “Okay, mom, I agree with you. Tell me what I should do."
You can still live joyfully. If you lived a joyless life until you were 40 or 50, would you find yourself a husband? I'm not sure. At least we were happy during these years, which is also not bad.
– Do I understand correctly that we need to ask God for humility and patience for family life, read spiritual literature, get rid of our bad qualities, live a church life, try to follow the commandments...
- Yes everything is correct. I repeat my thesis once again that you need to learn to live joyfully, regardless of what status you are in now.
– Is it a shame not to have a family by a certain age? How can you not be ashamed of this?
It’s a shame to sin, a shame to be disgraceful, but to be a clean girl, to live joyfully, to serve others, to believe in God - what a shame?
- Of course, I’m not ashamed. It’s a shame to sin, a shame to be disgraceful, but to be a clean girl, to live joyfully, to serve others, to believe in God - what a shame? This is joy! This is preparation for the eternal joy of the Kingdom of Heaven!
"Beautiful life" outside of marriage
– What can you say to loved ones who approve of the “beautiful life” - with expensive gifts, long trips - outside of marriage? They argue that you can spend the rest of your life as an “old maid”...
– How can you explain to those people to whom sin seems beautiful, convenient, pleasant and necessary?! Nothing can be said here. You can only pray for them.
– What should you do if a man who claims that he is also a believer insists on intimate relationships before marriage?
“We need to tell him this: “Let’s go to my confessor and ask him. If he blesses me, I’m ready.”
In general, it is better not to know such a person. He doesn't need a happy family life, but something else. We need to be more careful.
Young people should be very strict with girls, so, you know, cold. In a company you can communicate with everyone together, but you can’t get close to someone separately if you don’t intend to have a serious relationship.
Is it possible to marry a pagan?
– Is it possible to marry a pagan?
- No you can not.
Girls sometimes respond to marriage proposals from non-church people. In this case, I tell them: “Okay, come to me with him, we’ll talk.” And it happens that a non-church young man agrees to our conditions:
- wait a year until the wedding;
- come to confession;
- read the Gospel.
We must try to gradually lead him to faith. Pray for him. He can become Orthodox. I know such good families where girls converted grooms who became very good husbands.
But you cannot marry a non-church person, an unbeliever! It will be a sin. Then, according to the rules, you will need to be deprived of the opportunity to receive Holy Communion. You have given yourself to Christ, you are united with Christ in the Sacrament of Communion, you partake of His Body and Blood, and when you enter into such a marriage, then you are united soul and body with a person who does not know Christ. This is wrong from the point of view of the Church.
How to save a long distance relationship
– If a person is on a long business trip for more than a year, how to maintain the relationship?
– It seems to me that nowadays it’s very easy: communicate via Skype, the Internet, phone calls, SMS, Facebook... Take pictures every day and send him photos. And let him take pictures of himself. But the main thing is to pray. Love is precisely tested by such separation. If in a year he returns and is just as blazing with love, or at least this feeling is warm in him, then you can prepare for the wedding.
Everyone should have a confessor
Bishop of Orekhovo-Zuevsky Panteleimon (Shatov). Photo: A. Pospelov / Pravoslavie.Ru
– Is it necessary to have a confessor?
- Necessarily! I don’t know how people live without a confessor. I went through a period when I didn’t have a confessor, and, to be honest, I was just depressed and on the verge of despair.
– Why is it so necessary for both spouses to have a confessor?
- Because then they will have fewer quarrels. The confessor will be the “arbiter” in their family disputes. They both respect him, they listen to his words. It is better for spouses to have one confessor, but, unfortunately, this does not always work out.
I repeat once again: everyone should have a confessor!
***
A prayer service for the creation of a family is held regularly once a month in the Church of Tsarevich Dimitri at the 1st City Hospital. You can find out about the date of the next prayer service on the resources: https://vk.com/molebenstdimitry and https://www.miloserdie.ru.
Volunteer forum where you can offer or ask for help: https://forum.miloserdie.ru/.
If you want to become a Friend of Mercy or donate to the Friends of Mercy fund, you can find the coordinates here: https://www.miloserdie.ru/friends/about/.
How to Pray for a Successful Marriage
According to church canons, every person must have a pair. If a woman cannot find a man, she can order a prayer service to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker for marriage. You don’t need any rituals to ask for help. It is enough to stand in front of the image of the Saint in church or at home, light a church candle and ask for support in your thoughts. A girl can read a prayer herself, but more often her mothers ask for this.
Text of the prayer:
“Oh, all-validated, great wonderworker, Saint of Christ, Father Nicholas! I pray to you, be the hope of all Christians, a protector of the faithful, a feeder for the hungry, joy for those who cry, a doctor for the sick, a steward of those floating on the sea, a feeder for the poor and orphans and a quick helper and patron for everyone, may we live a peaceful life here and may we be worthy to see the glory of God’s elect in heaven and with them unceasingly sing the praises of the One God worshiped in the Trinity forever and ever. Amen."
Men can pray for marriage too
Prayers can also be read about a man’s marriage. For single men, this will also help them find a good, faithful life partner.
Prayers can also be read about a man’s marriage. For single men, this will also help to find a good, faithful life partner.
Prayers for an honest marriage between husband and wife should be read every day. If you read the morning and evening rules, then at the end you can read a prayer for marriage. The main thing in prayer is patience and constancy. If you read the prayer once and are waiting for a miracle, then this will not happen, no matter how much you want it.
Prayer for Healing
The worst thing is physical or mental pain. They say that the Lord sends trials. This means that illness is a test and we must turn to God through the saints for support. An effective prayer service to Nicholas the Wonderworker for health.
Text of the prayer:
“Oh, all-holy Nicholas! Intercessor and speedy helper of all the sorrowful and sick! Beg our Lord to forgive His servant (your name) for the sins that he committed out of ignorance or thoughtlessness. Ask Him to deliver your body and soul from the machinations of the devil, worldly diseases, from ordeals and eternal torment. Amen!"
Prayer to the Great Martyr Catherine - for the granting of love to a man and a woman
A prayer for the granting of love to a man and a woman is read to the Great Martyr Catherine.
A prayer for the granting of love to a man and a woman is read to the Great Martyr Catherine
Prayer to the Great Martyr Catherine for the gift of love:
Oh, Saint Catherine, virgin and martyr, true bride of Christ! We pray to you, as the great grace bestowed upon you by your Bridegroom, Sweetest Jesus, as if, having put to shame the charms of the tormentor, with your wisdom you have overcome the fifty branches and, having given them heavenly teaching, you have guided them to the light of the true faith, so ask us for this Godly wisdom, and We, having thwarted all the machinations of the hellish tormentor and despised the temptations of the world and the flesh, will become worthy of the Divine glory and will become worthy vessels for the expansion of our holy Orthodox faith, and with you in the heavenly tabernacle we will praise and glorify our Lord and Master Jesus Christ to all ages. Amen.
