Finding peace of mind: how to achieve peace and harmony in your life

Every person sooner or later finds himself in a situation where it is necessary to find peace of mind and try to stop being nervous and worried. This is when the question arises of how to find peace within yourself. The answer is quite simple and is described below, but reading alone is not enough, you need to work on yourself.

Harmony can be achieved when a person is ready to work with his feelings

Peace of mind in psychology

Harmony, from the point of view of psychology, implies coordinated work in which the system itself and all its constituent elements successfully fulfill their purpose. At the same time, the entire work process has absolute organization and thoughtfulness of actions. When harmony is achieved, then all necessary needs are satisfied, relations with the outside world are in balance.

Harmony itself appears at the moment when all members of its work accept and understand their importance and the importance of common goals.

Important! Any action aimed at improvement and goodness in the system’s work format leads to the emergence of harmony. The reverse process, an evil and harmful design, leads to disharmony.

It is in a state of harmony that a person can achieve peace of mind. This means that he does not have to worry about dangers from the outside, all his current needs are satisfied, he sees his goal and he has enough wisdom to know how to achieve his goal. By achieving inner peace, a person can also gain strength and self-confidence.

— Letter to the Universe

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In the life of each of us there is both good and bad. However, human psychology is such that he remembers negative moments better. The task of a harmonious personality is to find the strength to adapt to a positive mental state. There is a “letter to the Universe” technique specifically for this purpose.

Its essence is simple. Once a month you need to take a pen and paper and write a heartfelt message of gratitude to the Universe. It should note all the good things that happened during this period. Moreover, not only major events are important, but also the so-called little things. After all, a meeting with an old friend, a good workout, and reading an interesting book that has enriched your inner world - all these are pieces of human happiness.

Having recorded these events on paper, turn with words of gratitude to the Universe, forefathers, fate - anyone! The main thing is that the message is sincere. Little by little, letter by letter, you will be able to find something new in life - peace of mind.

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How to find peace

Negative character traits - how to find and correct negative qualities

Despite all the advantages of a state of calm, for many people it is a fairy tale. They do not believe that permanent peace can be achieved. Some people allow a change in both positive and negative emotions. This is indeed considered the norm, but to achieve humility, positive emotions must still prevail. To be less influenced by negativity, you should clearly understand your goals in life and desires. Those who manage to follow this algorithm do not differ in their actions and words.

In order to get rid of negativity, you can follow several tips:

Monitor your usual reaction to the situation, and if it is negative, try to intercept it and react differently. You need to understand what exactly causes negative emotions in this or that case, and reconsider your attitude.
Finding the strength to react even in the worst situations is easy.
Do not forget to thank others for everything, since the feeling of gratitude most quickly leads to peace of mind.
Remember that all problems exist only in the present tense. They cannot exist either in the past or in the future, which means that each of them is solvable.
Try to eliminate the state of resentment and under no circumstances offend others.
Monitor your emotions and condition. If there is a feeling that a nervous breakdown is on the way, it is better to immediately stop communicating and move away until you find calm.
Try not to refuse help, because this will bring good results both to the person himself and to the one who needs support. The main thing is to remember that you should only help those who really need it.
A good way to get a positive attitude is to play sports and walk in nature; yoga classes will be useful for women, as well as for men.
Peace of mind always directly depends on your state of health. If some problems bother you physically, then it will be difficult to achieve humility.

The key to self-control is the desire to see the world around you in a positive way.

— Relaxation

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It doesn’t take a genius to understand: our health and attitude depend on the elusive energy of the environment. When we are full of energy, we can easily resist illness and the bad mood of others. If energy is at zero, we attract depression and illness.

Almost everything we do in life is a race for results. But deep relaxation, meditation or prayer help us take a fresh look at life. We expect that the future will give us many pleasant moments. However, our attention must still be focused on the present. As we practice deep relaxation, we will begin to notice that some of the qualities acquired through the exercises gradually become habits and change our daily life. We become calmer, we have intuition.

We all have an inner voice, but it is weak and barely discernible. When life gets too hectic and noisy, we stop hearing it. But as soon as we muffle extraneous sounds, everything changes. Our intuition is always with us, but often we do not pay any attention to it.

Relaxation will save you more time than you spend on it. Make it a habit - tune yourself like tuning a musical instrument. Twenty minutes every day - so that the strings of your soul sound clean and harmonious. Wake up every morning with the intention of being calm and balanced. Some days you will be able to hold out until the evening, and sometimes only until breakfast. But if maintaining peace of mind becomes the goal, gradually you will learn this, perhaps the most important art in your life.

Read the article “Calmness and Peace”.

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Why do people lose their calm?

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For many, it becomes unclear how to find peace of mind if there are constant distractions. Psychologists say that there are main reasons that prevent you from finding harmony. Having identified them, you can work on yourself and get closer to a constant state of calm:

Fear. Often people are tormented by anticipation, and are frightened by fears about how this or that event will go. This state will continue to bother you until everything is done and remains in the past. It will be easier to cope with such situations if you try to live in the moment. Do not mentally think about the upcoming event, but try to feel the present.
Guilt. Due to the fact that a person internally realizes that he could have offended someone or failed to do what he promised, he may be reproached by his own inner voice. Mentally, he will constantly return to these thoughts. To help yourself cope, it is important to make wise decisions. Instead of reproaching yourself, you should admit your own guilt and find ways to make amends for it.
Coincidence. This happens when a person makes some promises, but in the end cannot fulfill them, not through his own fault, but due to a combination of circumstances. As a result, he feels guilty for something he was not involved in, but he made a promise. If this situation happens regularly, it is important to learn to refuse. Then you can move away from the habit of giving false hopes.
Be insulted. How to find peace of mind if someone has offended a person? Self-love can take a long time to return attention to itself in thoughts. To regain inner peace as soon as possible, you need to learn to forgive the offender even before he comes with an apology.
Aggressive state. Being in such a mood, it is very difficult to force yourself to calm down and regain peace. Every person experiences negativity more than once. The main thing in such moments is to try to throw out your anger not in the presence of others, so as not to shake their condition.

Emotions can shake your peace of mind

Bishop Panteleimon: how to maintain peace in your soul?

Today we will talk about how to maintain peace in your soul. I hope you come to the conclusion that this is the most important thing. This is our main task. St. Seraphim of Sarov speaks about this: “Acquire a peaceful spirit, and thousands around you will be saved.”

Very often, modern people, out of their pride, think about how they can arrange not only their own life, but also the life of the whole world. They say: “How can this be, since God is good and omnipotent, but there is so much evil in the world? Now, if I were God, I would then restore order!” With such conceit, they think that God does not know what is happening in the world, or they think that the world is so easy, or even put themselves in the place of God. Peace is lost in the soul not so much because they see how much evil there is, but because they put themselves in the place of God and have pride that is similar to satanic pride.

When you are young, you want to know everything, try everything. In maturity we want to achieve something, in old age we want peace and we go to work and try to help someone. But if there is no peace in the soul, then we gain nothing either by our deeds or by our imaginary merits, and, most importantly, we cannot help others. We must again remember the words of St. Seraphim of Sarov: “Acquire a peaceful spirit in your soul and then thousands of people around you will be saved.” It is very important to remember this and live for it. If you set yourself such a goal - to find this peace, to acquire it in your soul - then the Lord will help you and me with this.

The Lord, when he came to earth, said: “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” What does this mean? This means that the Kingdom of God, in which there is the peace that you and I seek, has come closer with the coming of Christ into the world. And Christ remains in this world until the end of the age. But we cannot perceive this world only because our soul is distorted by sin, only because we do not repent of our sins. We don't truly repent. We don’t cry about our sins, we don’t strive to correct them, we don’t ask for help from God. Therefore, the peace that is poured out by God in the church sacraments - in baptism, in confirmation, confession and especially in the Communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ - the peace with which the Lord answers our prayers does not fit into our hearts and into our souls. Therefore, the most important thing is to see and admit that there is no peace in my soul

The main problem is not that there is a war in Syria, not that there is civil strife in Ukraine, not that there is no peace on our streets, but that there is no peace in me, in my soul, in my heart. St. Seraphim of Sarov tells us that we can and should begin to gain this peace in our souls with ourselves. There is no need to think: “I will be saved, and let the rest perish” - no, of course not. It’s natural for a person to think about others, it’s natural to help others, but you have to start somewhere! You can’t immediately take and turn over the whole earth, as the revolutionaries wanted to do. It is impossible to immediately defeat all the evil that has accumulated in the world in one day. We have to start somewhere. And it's best to start with yourself.

In order to change yourself, you need to make an effort - the Lord speaks about this in the Gospel. There is no need to be afraid that it won’t work out right away. There is no need to be embarrassed that I have been trying to fix something for years, but nothing has worked out for me yet. Sometimes we don't notice changes in our souls. The Lord hides these changes from us, as the holy fathers say, because he does not want us to be proud, but wants us to be diligent. Thus peace is acquired through effort.

You and I need more than just peace, like death. It’s not easy to “forget and fall asleep.” We need a gracious peace, peace in Christ, peace-in-life, not peace-in-death. The peace that comes from above, and not the peace with which people satisfy their flesh by eating, sleeping, drinking wine, with which they calm down in the feeling of their own body. You and I want this world to be spiritual, emanating from Christ.

In order to understand how to achieve peace in the soul, you must first remember what the soul is. According to the teachings of the Holy Fathers, the soul consists of three forces. This is a lustful force, an irritable force and an intelligent force.

The concupiscible force is the force that helps the soul to love. This is the property of the soul to love, to strive for something, to want something, to connect with something, to abide in something, the power of love that is embedded in the human soul. Irritable force is the ability of the soul to put aside evil and bad things from itself, the ability to correct itself with effort. This is willpower. Smart power is the power of knowledge, and knowledge of not only arithmetic and the English language, rational knowledge, but essential knowledge, existential knowledge. We cognize the truth with our whole soul, we join the truth with our whole being. It is necessary to bring these forces of the soul into a peaceful state.

How to bring the lustful force into a peaceful state, into a state of norm or even supernorm - into a state of grace? Of course, learn the right love. The first person we should love is God. We need to learn this through prayer, reading the Gospel, and participating in church sacraments. And secondly, our neighbors, whom you and I must also take care of, whom we must love as you and I heard today from the teachings of St. Theophan: “to love our neighbor as ourselves,” so that in our soul there is not only my “I” “, but there were those neighbors who needed our help.

In order for this power of our soul to remain in a peaceful state, we need to avoid various kinds of addictions. Otherwise, the lustful force can stick us to something that will harm the peace in our soul. For example, a girl fell in love with a young man. He smiled at her and seemed nice. It seemed to her that he was ready to marry her, she clung to him with all her soul - not even to him, but to the image that she created in her soul - and lost peace. And he says that “no, I’m not ready, I’m not going to get married, I actually want to become a monk, or I have another bride, and I don’t like you.” But she had already clung to him and lost the world.

We need to be very careful not to use the lustful force and attach it to something that does not belong to us, which can cause some kind of unpeace in us. These can be different things. For example, a person is attached to such lustful plans to become smart. If you're a fool, stay a fool, it's not scary. After all, knowing that you are a fool is, in fact, high knowledge. We're all fools. Sin has distorted us so much that, in principle, we do not know how to use mental power. Don't be embarrassed by this!

Or you want to achieve something, but you can’t. There are some plans, you strive for them, but it doesn’t work out. And again there is no peace in the soul. Here, too, you need to be careful not to attach your soul to something that does not give genuine real joy and does not lead to peace. The main distortion of this force is self-love, self-love. Moreover, love for oneself not as a being created by God, as an eternal being like Him, but love for one’s body, as the holy fathers say, “unreasonable love for sensuality.”

Sensuality distorts true love. A person becomes proud, and all other passions grow from this. Therefore, you must be able to restrain yourself. Therefore, you need to fast. Therefore, you need to work. Therefore, you need to force yourself to do something - work physically, help, give up something for the sake of others. It is imperative to learn abstinence. Without abstinence, the lustful force will love everything that comes along, everything that is found around: it will envy, it will want something, it will strive for something inappropriate. So this power needs to be nurtured and kept clean and properly organized.

The second force is irritable. We must understand that this power is given to us primarily for internal use. We must restrain ourselves, we must encourage ourselves to do something, move ourselves, direct ourselves, but not use this force in relation to other people. With anger, with irritation, do not demand correction or obedience from others, do not be power-hungry. Otherwise, when we start to get angry, this force overflows its banks, pours out and causes a lot of harm to other people (and ourselves too).

I don’t know about you, but when I get angry with someone, I myself lose peace - I just feel unwell. It can be embarrassing. It is very difficult to return to a normal state later. When you are overcome by anger, irritation, when you are dissatisfied with something, when you start talking rudely to someone, then you need to correct this state of your soul through repentance. It is imperative to cope with this irritable force - to use it only for yourself.

There are people who can afford righteous anger; in the Gospel the Lord sometimes gets angry. The holy fathers speak about this righteous anger. But I think that it’s better for you and me not to remember this and not to justify our anger. First you need to learn to restrain this anger, not to have it in yourself, so that the soul is peaceful and then maybe someday, in old age...

Sometimes I pretend to be angry. After all, a bishop must be strict, must give orders, be a boss, guard - a bishop is translated as “guardian” in Russian. Therefore, sometimes, although I am peaceful inside, I pretend to be angry. And what do you think? I'm actually starting to get angry and angry! Maybe you are more perfect than me, have achieved absolute dispassion - then, of course, you can afford to say something loudly, sternly, to raise your voice at someone. But you need to be very careful with this. It’s not that severity is not needed—it is needed—but anger is not needed, irritation is not needed. You need to calmly ask the child, the subordinate, set some conditions, maybe apply some kind of punishment, but calmly and with love.

The third power of the soul is the power of the mind. How to keep her peaceful and calm? First, our mind needs to be nourished. Because the mind cannot stop. Can you stop your thoughts? Most likely no. They flash all the time, different images, dreams. Therefore, you need to keep your mind busy. If we don’t give the mind good food, it will feed on all sorts of rubbish. He will look for food in unclean images, in some nonsense, in a meaningless activity.

We need to give food to the soul. Not the dirt of news, not the dirt of bad films, but real bread. And the bread for the soul, of course, is the Lord Himself. Knowledge of Christ is the bread that should nourish the soul. Knowledge about the saints, knowledge about the Church. You need to be able to refrain from unnecessary, unnecessary, harmful information. The soul should not eat dirty, bad food, unstrained, unrefined, because there is a lot of this information around us. Modern people consume a huge amount of information. This is the problem of the modern world.

Previously, people lived peacefully, they knew that in the village a house had burned down, someone had died... But they couldn’t even think about what was going on in another city, not to mention Australia or the United States of America. The news arrived after 3 months. Has the king died? Is there someone else in his place? This was not immediately known. And we will know about everything right away. We feel like we need to know the news. What for? For what?

Everything is bad everywhere, there is no doubt, and wars are going on and people are suffering. Of course, you need to pray, definitely. But why find out all this? Why let me into your soul? In consciousness? How, they say, can one live without knowing anything? Everyone knows, but you don’t? Well, they'll tell you. It's better than learning from news feeds. In any case, when another person tells me about what is happening, he does it with sympathy, with compassion... And news feeds cause aggression, irritation, and discontent. Maybe choose one of us - perfect, dispassionate - who would tell all the news, but with sympathy? And everyone else could refuse this.

We need to arrange our worldview. We were all taught at school, for example, such nonsense that man evolved from a monkey. We all went through this in biology class. In geography, we learned that the Earth does not have a center, although in fact there is one - this is Jerusalem, the place where Christ suffered. This and other information, coupled with parents and the media, shaped our worldview.

Out of 100 people, 99 do not know Christ, do not go to church on Sundays, and are not interested in the topic of our conversation. Therefore, our inner world, our worldview is formed in the wrong way. We must bring it in accordance with the Truth. To base the worldview on genuine knowledge of God. Everyone needs to study dogmatics and moral theology! Studying the Gospel is not just reading it, but studying it! Study what Christ teaches us. You need to find time for this and use your strength for it. In order for our worldview to change.

Our conceptual vocabulary is incorrectly formed. Our associations are connected with the sinful experience of our lives and we need to clear these layers. For example, they say: “The main thing is health.” What nonsense! This is stupid! The main thing is the soul! Faith in God. The main thing is the spirit, the core of our soul. Such concepts sit deep in us even when we seem to abandon them. The basis of all propaganda is repetition; If a person is constantly told: “Black is white,” he will eventually think: “Or maybe black is really white”? All totalitarian regimes used this in order to fool people.

Therefore, it is important to constantly turn to God, constantly check the ethical content of what is in my consciousness, in my experience... Although experience can also be wrong, it can be formed by the fact that we succumbed to temptations, saw sinful examples around us - from this a certain worldview has developed, which is false, and therefore it cannot bring peace to our soul.

What deprives you and me of peace? Most often - unexpected sorrows, illnesses of children, loved ones, and therefore, of course, we need to be prepared for the fact that something unexpected awaits us that we cannot foresee. Why does the Lord allow such surprises? Because when we expect something, plan, we get used to it. But to humble ourselves before God, Who exists mysteriously, unknown, whose ways are not our ways, who is above all our understanding - this is very difficult for us.

This is how we perceive the vicissitudes of our lives. When something good happens, we rejoice. When something is bad, we think: “How can this be?” An example could be the righteous Job, when he lost everything he had, he said: “We accepted all the good things from God, we must also accept the bad things, He exists, and this means it is useful for us.” In the world in which we live, what is useful is not what is joyful and convenient for the body, but what leads to the salvation of the soul. If the Lord allows illness and sorrow, it means that this is necessary for us. One saint said: “Today, Lord, You visited me with toothache.” Toothache was also allowed by God in order to bring us to compassion, to sympathy, to the understanding that this life will end.

The mental world changes due to both external and internal reasons. External - we are deprived of the world by various temptations, desires, images of this world attack us. The modern world has become much more vibrant, diverse, and aggressive than, say, in the 19th century or even in the 20th. This world is not limited to external objects. It invades our consciousness with the help of modern communications - television, social networks, computers. When you travel on the subway, you see that the people around you are looking at their gadgets, and you yourself probably look at what you have there? Therefore, external temptations, external phenomena are much stronger in our time than what was before.

You need to be able to take care of your ears and eyes, because the level of dirt in the world is increasing, and dirt is becoming something natural and familiar to humans. Man, from a creature whose head reaches to the sky and walks on the earth, turns into a worm who walks on a dung heap and believes that this is normal for him. The joy of this worm, the joy of cattle, for him becomes the main joys of life. Therefore, it is imperative to take care of your eyes and ears and avoid temptations. And you can understand that you can treat all this calmly, be able to treat it calmly.

There are a lot of young people here in the hall, I see. People of the opposite sex are often a temptation for them. Especially men often complain: “Women are so and so, they walk around almost naked, in shorts, etc., they behave like that.” But you can not notice this and you need to learn how to do it. One saint entered a women's bathhouse and was asked: “What does he feel?” He said: “Nothing, I felt like a log among logs.” I felt fine. Therefore, you need to understand that although temptations come from outside, their cause is in the incorrect structure of the soul. They themselves are not the sources of sin. Our perception of these things is sinful.

You cannot overcome sin if it has entered you, unless you cut off its source. And the holy fathers say that you need to run away from this passion. In the Gospel, the Lord says: “If an eye offends you, tear it out and throw it away from you; if a hand offends you, cut it off and throw it away from you.” These words are interpreted not in the sense that you need to engage in self-harm, but in such a way as not to look at it, not to see it. You need to learn not only to see well, but also to close your eyes tightly; not only hear, but also not hear what is around you.

In addition, from the outside we are embarrassed by insults and insults. When we are not loved, when we are not respected, but we consider ourselves worthy of all respect. But this can be easily dealt with if you remember who I am, if you remember your sins. Before the Cup, you and I read words that, unfortunately, not all people understand. “I believe, Lord, and confess that You are truly the Christ, the Son of the Living God, who came into the world to save sinners, from whom I am the first.”

That is, you and I call ourselves the worst of all sinners. It is necessary that we actually live in accordance with these words, otherwise we end up with hypocrisy - the worst sin. The Lord specifically denounced the Pharisees and said menacingly: “Woe to you, hypocrites.” The same may apply to us. Therefore, we must remember that if I am the first sinner, if I am worthy of any insult, then, of course, I am worthy of being treated that way.

Seeing a proud person’s sins saddens and confuses him, but it actually helps him to calm down. If we are proud, then we begin to get upset: well, I couldn’t do it again, I didn’t do it again, or I was accused of something, I lost my temper, how scary it is, but we need to come to terms with it and admit that - yes, I’m the last one sinner. I'm a sinner. And if I admitted that I was lying, I would have nowhere to fall. I should already get used to this state. This does not mean justifying oneself in sin. This does not mean doing nothing to improve. But this means don’t worry. Then even what deprives you of peace and outrages will be a cure for pride and peace.

From within we are confused by our thoughts, images, and memories. These thoughts have three sources. The passions that have formed in us. What passion, according to the teachings of the holy fathers, is the root of all passions? This is self-love as an unreasonable love for sensuality, as love for one’s sensual carnal nature, as life in this fallen nature, distorted by sin. And from this come the three main passions: voluptuousness, love of money, and love of fame or pride.

Lust is both gluttony and lustful passions, love of money is the desire for pleasure for money, power for money. The desire to have something, to acquire something. Here we need to learn to pay attention to what is happening inside us and see the source of these thoughts. Very often we accept these thoughts as our own. And in us there are three kinds of thoughts, three kinds of feelings that arise in us - from God, from the devil and from ourselves. Two times two makes four is neutral, but something good or bad appears in the soul from different sources. You must be able to track the enemy's secret actions. If we don’t know how to do this, don’t look inside ourselves, simply accept everything as it is, without reasoning, without trying to somehow designate or understand them, then we are in the power of evil. Because then evil acts in us secretly, it wants to subjugate us so that we do not understand it. A person sometimes lives in sin, lives with this evil, but does not understand it.

These actions of the enemy must be recognized, be sure to cut them off, and run from them. The Holy Fathers say that only saints can contradict the devil in their souls. We cannot contradict the devil, but we can resort to the help of Christ, to the help of God, and we can cut off and run from passions.

I would divide what confuses our soul into three categories: 1 - unnecessary flighty desires (envy, something else), 2 - irritation, rancor, and 3 - despondency, sinful sadness that appears from unsatisfied pride and vanity.

You need to be able to deal with this. This is what Abba Dorotheos said about one monk - how he acted when he did not receive what he asked for. Of course, we want a lot. Someone wants to get married, and someone wants money, or to live longer. So the monk said that you can ask God for everything you want, but if you don’t receive it, you should say this: “Let Christ be for me instead of what I lack.” I think that the Lord always fulfills our request if he does not want to give us more than what we ask of him. You can get healing, but it is much more important to learn to overcome your illness. You can get a groom, but it is much better to know the Bridegroom of the Soul - God Christ. You can, of course, ask God for wealth, but it is much better to learn to live in poverty. Of course, the body needs health, but sometimes the Lord allows the body to become sick so that the soul learns to be healthy and stronger than the body. If the body is weakened by illness, then a person lives more with his soul than with his body.

How to get rid of rancor? Abba Dorotheos says that rancor is coals that have already gone out, but remain in the ground for a long time. Praying for a person who has caused us some kind of harm helps us get rid of rancor. We must pray like this: “Lord, save and preserve your servant (name) and through his prayers have mercy on me, a sinner.” That is, we try with effort to think well of the person, to think that he is also praying for us. And I know that if you pray for a person you don’t like, then gradually - over the years, not immediately - peace is established in your soul.

You need to get rid of despondency and sinful sadness by learning to rejoice. You must live joyfully, this is very important - so that your soul rejoices, so that you have sources of joy and consolation. St. Seraphim, with whose words we began today’s conversation, allowed the nuns in the monastery to put crackers under their pillows and gnaw them in sad moments. You probably won't have enough crackers? Maybe a candy “Teddy Bear”? Even meals in monasteries are called “consolation, brothers, greatness.” Consolation can be the sea or sleep, or contemplation of the beauty of nature, or friendly communication. But the main joy is the joy of communion, the joy of prayer, the joy of knowing the Gospel, knowing the words of God, the joy of knowing God.

Of course, in order for the soul to be at peace, you need to lead a healthy lifestyle. We recently met with Veronica Igorevna, our Minister of Health, and she also said that the main problem of all our citizens is that they do not lead a healthy lifestyle. If people led a healthy lifestyle, many diseases could be avoided. This applies to spiritual life too. If a person’s life is properly organized, then, of course, his soul will be peaceful and calm. Then it will be easier to face all these obstacles.

You need to create a daily routine, a weekly routine, a yearly routine. Time management is very important for a modern person, not only for a businessman, but also for a church person, because we live surrounded by unbelievers and non-church people. If previously a person could afford not to think about it, life itself was structured this way: theaters were closed during fasts, there was no cinema at all, meat could not be bought. And now the people who live around us don’t sleep at night, sit on the net... the world has gone crazy. And a person goes further and further into madness, so, of course, now special efforts are needed to make one’s life correct and healthy. I think we all need to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. Then we will be less discouraged, because despondency usually comes in the evening, I know this from myself. And if you go to bed quickly, everything will be different in the morning. This is a very important rule that will help establish peace in your soul.

It is imperative that we have time to take care of our body. The sin of self-love, of attachment to oneself is the main sin, as the holy fathers say, but in our time our body needs stress. I would advise walking, or going to the pool, or doing fitness. The body must move. Of course, you need to eat less, and not eat late at night - doctors say that this is harmful. All this is important because the body affects the soul. The soul, of course, is the main thing, but the body is also of great importance to us.

But the main time management should touch our soul. You cannot start the day without prayer. You cannot end the day without prayer. If you collapse in the evening from fatigue, it is better to pray in advance and then do the rest of your business. We need to consciously end the day with prayer. You should definitely be in church on Sunday and try to come to the all-night vigil on Saturday evening, at least for a short time. You need to spend some time with your soul. If we cannot devote all our time to it, then at least the time that the church schedule requires.

It is very important to look at the week - how it works, what and when we do, when we fast; It is important to plan your vacations and weekends throughout the year so that they are consistent with the Orthodox schedule. There was a case: one woman who had recently come to the Church asked for the priest’s blessing to go on vacation to France during the Lent of Peter the Great, and a very zealous and recently ordained priest said to her: “Lent? To France? I don't bless." She says: “Well, of course, we already bought tickets! He says: whatever you want, but I don’t bless you.” And the woman obeyed him. I handed over my tickets. Her daughter was very unhappy. They didn't fly. And it was the same plane that crashed somewhere in Switzerland. Thus, obedience to the priest and observance of fasting led to the preservation of their lives.

I don’t want to say that no one should rest during Peter’s Fast, but you still need to somehow correlate your routine with Church life, with fasting, in order to be in church on Easter, on Maundy Thursday. Of course, you need a vacation, how to spend it - you need to think about it. To be in a place where you can come to church.

You need to plan acts of mercy - if this doesn’t happen naturally, then you need to force yourself to do it. Not only donate money to charity, as you all do - without you we would not be able to support our service - but also participate in this ourselves. And of course, such things calm the soul and make it more peaceful. Any of you who have done this know for yourself: something is tormenting you, you are suffering, you are envious, you feel bad in your soul, your conscience is tormenting you - go to the hospital! As oil pours into the soul, it becomes good and joyful!

Of course, it is very important to be alone, even in a family setting, to pray to God as written in the Gospel: “when you pray, go into your room and “pray in secret.” There may be common prayers between husband and wife and children, but still some time must be devoted to solitary prayer.

It is very important to have friends, to have our own church community, in which there are close people - this is very important both for ourselves and for our children. Children need friends - and where else to find them except in the Church? Therefore, of course, each person should have his own parish, his own parish community, without which life will be abnormal and will not always work out well. How to find such a community? First you need to find a confessor, and this is a very important question.

I already told you how to do this: you need to write down everyone you know on a piece of paper and choose the best one from them and go to him for now. If there is no confessor, then there must be at least an acting confessor. confessor. It is very important to have someone with whom you consult, who knows you and through whom God can reveal his will to you. It is very important to confess to your confessor, because when a priest stands in front of you, whom you trust, it is easier for you to open your soul and easier to believe that Christ is standing here invisibly, accepting your confession. Conversion to Christ through a confessor brings peace to the soul. You pray, ask that the Lord reveal His will to you through your confessor. The confessor is the pipe through which grace flows; a water tap from which flows the holy water of eternal life. The Lord acts in this world through people (primarily).

Of course, He is in the sacraments, in the words of the Gospel, in church dogmas, but to the greatest extent we experience God when He reveals Himself in the saints. When you see a holy person, you are confirmed in faith. In any case, this was the main thing in my life - meetings with holy people. If it weren’t for them, I probably wouldn’t be standing in front of you now.

Therefore, although the confessor is not a saint, the holiness of grace acts through him as through nothing else. It is very important that Christ has the opportunity to speak to you through your confessor.

This is a church institution that has always been in the Church; it was destroyed in Soviet times, when it was impossible to confess in the evenings. Before the revolution, the confessor was elected on a parish basis - you had to go to confession with the priest who served in the parish to which your home was assigned, and you had to bring a certificate to work that you had confessed. Not everything was as good as we think. But now the church is freer than ever.

You can live at the other end of Moscow and choose a confessor far from home. Without such a person, you will not be able to confess correctly and will not be able to participate in the Eucharist, because when your confessor serves the liturgy, you feel a special closeness to God.

The rhythm of Eucharistic life is also determined with the help of a confessor - it is not you who must decide everything for yourself, but there must be someone who can tell you how useful it is for you.

You can talk about different psychological methods, you can invite a psychologist who could tell you how to find peace in your soul... but all this, of course, is nonsense. And what I say is also unimportant. But when the Lord comes into the soul, then peace comes into the soul. Outside of Christ there is no real peace in the soul, and this union with Christ in the sacrament of the Eucharist is the main means of finding peace in the soul. When we come to the service, the first thing we hear after the priest’s exclamation “Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit”: the words “Let us pray to the Lord in peace” - not in the sense of “with the whole world”, but “with peace in our souls.”

I can say about myself - even though I am a bishop, and have been privileged to receive the sacrament of Baptism for 41 years, when I begin the Liturgy, I do not always have peace in my soul. There may be dissatisfaction, some thoughts or something else, but at the end of the Liturgy, when you enter this living river of God’s grace, into this channel that leads you to the Kingdom, you surrender to these waves, when you pass these words through yourself, you think about it , you pray at the Liturgy - then your soul begins to change and at the end of the Liturgy you find peace. How many times have I served with priests, with bishops - at the beginning they are angry, they make comments, but then they took communion - so kind and good...

So during the Liturgy a person changes, and participation in the Liturgy brings peace to the soul.

At every Liturgy we hear the words “Peace to all.” These words are said many times before the most important moments. If you accept them with faith, then peace can also be obtained.

The last thing I want to say is how to maintain peace after visiting Church. You and I confessed, took communion, found this peace in our souls - and how can we continue to live? How to live with people? Maybe don't pay attention to anyone?

It seems to me that when you and I live in the world (not in a monastery), the main thing that is around us is people. And you need to live not in accordance with your plans - with your time management and so on - but with those who meet you along the way. Like that good Samaritan who was driving, he had his own plans, and he suddenly saw a wounded, beaten man lying and began to help him. If you live without indifferently letting your neighbors pass by, if you understand that the meaning of your life today is in meeting different people, in helping these people, in loving these people, in the patience of these people - then you can increase your peace of mind. Because during the liturgy you don’t have to look at people, you don’t have to talk, you don’t have to look around, but outside the liturgy, staying with God, you need to pay attention to the people who surround you.

If you accept every person with love, do not judge anyone, if you pray for everyone, if you help everyone to the best of your ability, then more and more doors will open in this long corridor that leads to the Kingdom of Heaven. And if you don’t do this, then some door will remain closed, and you will remain in this earthly kingdom. Each person is a new door, and we have a long climb ahead. We must ask God to extend our years so that we have time to travel this path.

I saw many wonderful saints, and they lived among people, they loved these people - those who surrounded them. They helped them, they tried to do something for them, they had compassion for them, they sympathized with them. They did not live only for themselves. Modern people are very reserved - such a life, if you pay attention to everyone on the subway, you will go crazy. Say hello to everyone... But people are too closed, they live in their own shell. They are not joyful, they are not ready to help each other, they are not open to each other. Christians shouldn't be like that. If a Christian entered the carriage, everyone should be surprised - what is it? It somehow became light, joyful... They were driving along the escalator - they saw someone coming towards them: someone was joyful - yeah, it’s a Christian. Not a scarf on the head and a long skirt and a lean expression on the face, but a joyful, open face. With people we need to be very grateful, humble, meek - and then, of course, peace in our soul will increase.

Outside of Christ, of course, there is no world, and our world is Christ (as I have already spoken about).
This is, of course, the most important thing. But you can also gain peace by loving other people. The commandments were given to us precisely because fulfilling them brings peace to the soul, fulfilling them makes the soul good. And you need to ascend according to these commandments diligently, and you can even ascend to the commandment that is spoken of today in the Gospel - “about love for enemies.” Then, of course, the joy of communication with God will exceed all sorrows! Friends of charity are people who regularly help our help service and support our projects.
You too can become our Friend! More details on the Friends of Charity page. Material prepared with grant funds

"Orthodox Initiative 2014-2015"

Main signs of a problem

How to find yourself and your purpose in life: what does it mean and where to start

After identifying the reasons that affect peace of mind, it is important to understand what a person who is internally restless looks like.

Some people are constantly tormented by a background feeling of anxiety, others may experience fear only in certain cases, for example, in crowded places, while driving a car, before speaking in front of an audience, etc.

Despite the fact that these situations may be very different from each other, they all have one thing in common - a person’s inability to gather his courage and find inner balance. In addition, a person may exhibit restlessness in behavior:

feels fear or apprehension;
cannot concentrate on important things, loses thoughts;
is nervous and shows this in his behavior (sudden movements, fussing, fiddling with objects, tapping his fingers, etc.);
background expectation of bad;
irritability and aggressive reaction;
display of impatience.

In addition to behavioral symptoms, physical symptoms can also be observed:

rapid heartbeat and breathing;
sweating;
muscle tension or mild cramping;
headaches, fatigue;
restless and shallow sleep;
problems with bowel movements and urination.

The influence of peace on life

Peace of mind has a beneficial effect on everyday life, this can be traced in several aspects:

There is an opportunity to calmly express your position in disputes. When speaking, a person stops losing his thoughts, does not get excited, does not rush, his speech is measured.
A husband or wife can, in everyday life, stop quarrels in advance, at the stage when they are just beginning.
In the event of unforeseen and dangerous situations, a person who is internally balanced gives every chance to resolve the problem in a short time.
In achieving your own goals, peace helps to maintain self-control and not stray from the path to your desires.
Self-control helps in raising children. A fulfilling parenting process requires a loving approach, as well as patience and care.
The settlement of relationships between people will be better given to those who know how to cope with their own feelings and emotions.

Based on the above points, we can conclude that peace of mind means:

a person’s ability to maintain clarity of mind in any life situations, even extreme ones;
the ability to make informed and quick decisions even during periods of turbulence of emotions;
manifestation of one's own will to achieve goals;
manifestation of trust and friendliness to the world.

The ability to find balance within yourself helps in everyday life

If you can't find peace

If you spend some time observing a group of people in a public place, such as a crowded bus, you can monitor everyone's well-being. Some people are constantly nervous or think about their anxious thoughts. This is noticeable in their frowning facial expressions, concentrated gaze or restless movements: tapping their feet or hands, fiddling with improvised objects. Such people are in a restless state, and it is not difficult to get them angry.

At the same time, there is a category of people for whom minor troubles do not represent anything serious. They calmly listen to music, look at the views from the window, or think about something else, smiling serenely.

So why, in the same situation, are some able to maintain composure and not succumb to negativity and minor irritants, while others are not? Many explain this difference that some were lucky to be born calm, others were not. In fact, everyone can find inner balance; it’s just a matter of ability and desire to work on oneself.

How to restore peace of mind and tranquility if you are unlucky enough to be born with strong nerves? Working on yourself involves reviewing your own reaction to different situations and taking several steps towards correction:

You need to reconsider your reaction to negativity. Yes, it is common in the world around us. If you let him pass by and rehearse your positive or neutral reaction, it will be much easier later.
It is important to learn to lead your own stream of thoughts in a positive way. No matter what happens, you need to praise yourself for even a small show of effort.
Instead of worrying about unfulfilled actions or other people's reactions, it is better to get ahead of events and act in such a way as to ensure a positive outcome.
Try not to overwork yourself. Fatigue is the main cause of stress, which gives rise to negative reactions. A sage is one who loves himself first and takes care of his health and condition.
Do not get involved in unnecessary disputes. This is also stress for the nervous system; it is better to try to resolve the conflict at the inception stage.
What else can unsettle you? The excited nervous state is influenced by situations when a person fusses or is late for the appointed time. Self-discipline, organization and planning will help you maintain confidence and inner balance.

Finding harmony is available to everyone, but with different efforts

Avoid negative emotions such as envy, pity, and suspicion. Such emotions not only do not lead to positive results, but actions such as suspicion of infidelity, discussion of gossip, dependence on empty chatter will only have a heavy aftertaste.
Make time for exercise. Physical activity can only bring good things: not only a fit body, but also the ability to control your own willpower.
Plan and dream. Those who constantly figure out how to diversify their own lives do not find time for empty experiences and negative emotions.
Find your own way that can quickly calm your nerves in stressful situations. This could be breathing practice, walking, counting to yourself, contact with water, or any other individual method.

Ideas for maintaining inner peace

Maintaining inner peace is a common goal . To achieve this, many look to Eastern philosophy for inspiration. Some seek professional help, while the more traditional value system of our society demands revolution, or at least a different path than the one that relational and technological dynamics seem to lead us to.

When we talk about the old value system, we mean one that focuses on extreme competition, excessive consumption, and professional success at any cost. This is still prevalent, but according to Chopra, more people are looking for another way to find peace .

For this doctor, once you achieve inner peace, you will remain . But achieving this personal peace requires a long introspective journey. So, if you want to look within yourself, these are the lessons, goals or challenges suggested by Dr. Chopra to try to get to know ourselves a little better and feel a sense of reconciliation between what we have been and want to be.

Find peace within yourself

The first step is to seek and find peace within yourself . Dr. Chopra tells us that meditation can help us do this. In this way, we can look within ourselves and transcend superficial mental activities.

For Chopra, this quest involves going beyond ordinary thinking to reach the deepest part of our mind, where the realm of peace resides. There is peace and quiet there.

Return to the place of peace

Now the next step is to return to that place where we truly feel calm . But this way back is not physical, but mental. Thus, whenever we live in stressful situations that cause us anxiety and generate negative emotions, we must return to this mental space in which we find inner peace.

Automating the return to this "sanctuary" will make it so that it takes us less time to get to it when we need it. This way we won't get lost on the road. In addition, we will be closer to freeing ourselves from anger, resentment and insecurity .

No more violence in any form

Therefore, once we know our place in the world and can return to it whenever we want, it will be easier for us to free ourselves from violence. This stage is necessary to help us deal with our impulses and master the energy that comes from our own emotions.

According to Chopra, the result will be intelligent management of anger, envy and resentment. Only then will we achieve liberation, thus displacing our ego and insecurities.

At this stage, it is important to let go of negative emotions and achieve your true self. Here in the zones of peace we will lay the foundation for a more solid balance as we meditate. After some time we will understand that this balance is real. This means that it will simply become our being or, in other words, itself.

What affects peace of mind

In general, we can identify the main factors that have a greater influence on how mental balance is formed:

Living a life moment, and not wanting to live a moment as quickly as possible. The manifestation of intolerance interferes with being in a state of calm. This is an internal irritant that people create themselves. At the same time, living the moment allows you to feel and accept all events and your own emotions, which means you can more quickly come to terms with them.
The ability to moderate one's own interests. Being satiated in one area or another of life leads to an inability to feel gratitude and does not provide the ability to accumulate strength for new goals.

Physical activity is the key to inner peace

The ability to track your own thoughts in the general flow. Unconscious actions, without processing information in your head, lead to negative impulses. At the same time, if you think about your actions and thoughts, then each action can not only be deliberate, but also have its own explanation, purpose and benefit.
In addition to thoughts, it is important to monitor your own emotions, which so often interfere with establishing mental balance. If some situations give rise to negative emotions inside, it is worth working through this moment and understanding why and where the negativity comes from. Subsequently, try to control this process.
The condition of the physical body is no less important for maintaining balance. A healthy, fit body will not only not bother you with your well-being, but will also teach you how to manage your desires and emotions. Sports and any physical activity develop endurance and character in a person.

The ability to experience inner peace is not given to everyone equally. Some people learn this on their own, others have to work harder with themselves. This does not mean that inner harmony is an unattainable state. Many factors influence mental balance; if it is not in order, it is worth paying attention to them and identifying the reason that needs to be dealt with.