Club of Peter and Fevronia in Putinki: find each other (PHOTO)

Review of the dating site ABC of Fidelity

The Orthodox dating site “ABC of Fidelity” is a unique service for communication between people who sincerely believe in God. Here users find Orthodox friends and soul mates to start a family. Although anyone looking for a believing partner can register. An extensive questionnaire helps to find people who are similar in their views on life and attitude towards God. Worldly interests are also taken into account, but some are discouraged. There are a lot of items in the questionnaire; some are filled out only at will.

The site has a large archive of photographs and videos on Orthodox topics, and a huge religious library. They are located on the main resource ABC of Faith, but there is a link to go to each section.

The menu is quite large, but clear:

1. My page . User profile, which can be easily supplemented and edited in this section.
2. General chat . A block where Orthodox Christians communicate on pressing topics.
3. Chosen Ones . Correspondence with people you like.
4. Diaries . A section that shows profile views, maintains a personal blog, and posts news. Additionally, here you can find answers to questions asked on the forum of the main site. You can add the person you like to your favorites from among those viewing your page.
5. Radio . Listening to Orthodox radio.
6. Settings . Correct time zone, country, email address, password and other options.
7. Search . A block where they look for a couple, filling out a rather impressive list of requirements. The search is conducted not only by city, gender and attitude to faith, but also by appearance and hobbies, goals and interests, marital status and attitude towards alcohol. There are many criteria, we choose the appropriate ones.
8. Ignore . Blocked contacts.
9. Forum . Discussion of various topics, including a joint pilgrimage with a partner you like to holy places.
10. About family . A large section that brings you to the main resource, talking about family values ​​in Orthodoxy.

At the bottom of the page there are sections:

1. FAQ . FAQ.
2. Rules . Behavior on the website ABC of Fidelity.
3. Search . Duplicating a block with the selection of a partner or friend.
4. Communication with the administration . A kind of technical support that answers any questions and helps resolve problems.

There is a separate Donate block. A coin icon with a corresponding signature directs you to a page with details, where money is transferred for charitable deeds for the glory of God. Since all functionality of the site is free, donations are accepted on a voluntary basis.

Every day hundreds of people pass by each other, jostle on public transport, stand in line at the store, and then go back to their homes, where many of them feel sad and lonely. Because they want a family. But there is no family.

Why are there so many people around, but the one or the only one never meets on the way?

Today there are many organizations that promise to help you find your soulmate. And among them there are those who do not conflict with Christian morality, and there are even Orthodox dating clubs.

The investigation was conducted by special correspondent of the magazine “Heir” Ivanna Khmelnik

Orthodox Club: Active Dating

The Club in the name of Saints Peter and Fevronia is an Orthodox youth organization whose goal is to unite young people, help in making friends, organize pious leisure, catechetical activities, and social service.

The club exists at the Church of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Putinki. He is spiritually cared for by the rector of the church, Archpriest Alexy Gomonov.

Every Sunday (except for Lent and the Twelfth Holidays), after a prayer service with an akathist to Peter and Fevronia, tea parties are held, which are attended by an average of 100-120 people. The club hosts concerts, master classes and much more.

During the first half of 2011, 5 married couples were formed from Club members.

Ekaterina Gromova, President of the Club in the name of Saints Peter and Fevronia:

In our church for ten years now there has been an icon of Peter and Fevronia with a piece of relics. On Sundays at 5 p.m. prayers are served before her. After the prayers, Archpriest Alexei Gomonov reads interesting sermons dedicated to finding a soul mate and harmony in family life. And several years ago, the idea arose to hold tea parties after prayers and invite young people. Then they began to organize pilgrimages, first to Murom, then to other shrines. And somehow that’s how it all started.

Now more than a hundred people come to prayer services and tea parties. In the warm season, we hold tea parties on the street next to the temple, because, unfortunately, the Club does not have its own premises. We often combine tea parties with concerts of Orthodox performers. The wonderful singer Olga Bratchina is coming to us from St. Petersburg. In May, an evening was held between the poet Evgeny Ryapov and the creative duo “Live and Hello.” After tea parties, we organize master classes on historical ballroom dancing in Strastnoy Square near the Rachmaninoff monument, and invite professional teachers from the Dance of Spring studio.

We also engage in social activities: we help orphanages and boarding schools, stage plays there, take children on excursions to monasteries, and help restore churches. The Club has created a choir, a theater studio and a creative workshop for making holiday cards.

I came to our Club like most other people - to find a soul mate. I studied a lot, university with honors, graduate school, and there was no time for my personal life. And then I realized that I needed to work in this area. I started visiting various Orthodox sites, and on the “Destiny” site I came across an advertisement for this club, came, and I liked it so much! Amazingly warm atmosphere.

Why am I so eager to start a family? I think that education, career, social activities are, of course, good, but a woman can truly realize herself only in the family. As the Gospel says: “A woman is saved through childbearing.” I feel great potential in myself, I want to take care of someone, protect, help my husband, create comfort, so that there is a family nest, there are two or three or more children, so that everyone loves and takes care of each other!

Vasily Maksimov, 36 years old, vice-president of the Club in the name of Saints Peter and Fevronia:

Each temple has its own youth. She has great potential, and she needs to be occupied with something, otherwise they will direct their irrepressible energy in an unnecessary direction. Our youth organization is distinguished primarily by the fact that we have a clear focus on creating an Orthodox family. We are not trying to be specially different from other youth organizations, but it happened naturally, and we have a lot of young people.

A lot of couples form in our club, because people are doing a common thing, and when you work together, a person opens up differently. And, as a rule, marriages created after such tests are stronger and more durable. We work hard on this, create conditions - organize various events, concerts, labor and pilgrimage trips.

I also came to our club with a purpose - to find a soul mate. Each stage of life has its own priorities. I had this clearly, I can even name the day when I looked at the children, at the family walking, and realized that I also wanted to have a family, children, I wanted to get married. This thought came to me two years ago, by the way, that’s how long I’ve been in the club.

I used to be guided by logic, but now I listen to my heart. There are a lot of girls around, and they are all wonderful, but I’m waiting for mine.

Spouses Andrey and Olya. We met at the St. Club. Peter and Fevronia:

Andrey, 28 years old:

We met by chance at this club, went to conversations with Fr. Alexei, stayed for tea. I'll say this: I'm not complaining about the lack of female attention. And my job is like this, there are a lot of girls around. I tried to date, of course, but my heart didn’t respond.

I now understand that you can immediately identify your person, your soul mate, because your heart will respond. Although I admit that this takes time.

Once Olya and I were at the same event, we helped organize a holiday together, it was a stupid day, I was overloaded at work, and Olya was very late. I didn’t swear, of course, but it was all written on my face. And so we spent an hour and a half together and came out as completely different people - I fell in love. Olya, as it turned out, had been in love with me for a long time.

We got married six months later. And why? At some point it clicked in my head - I want a family, children. I want to come home and have my beloved wife there. I want to take care of her, plan something together. NOT to be alone.

Olya, 24 years old:

I have almost everything the same, only simpler. For girls, it seems to me, everything is much simpler in this regard, they are family-oriented, you always want a man’s shoulder and support nearby. I look at my parents and understand that I will soon become a mother myself, childhood is over. And it’s so pleasant and surprising to figure things out on your own, to build a family life, to understand that you are a housewife, you also have a lot of responsibility. When you love and do everything for your loved one, it’s all a joy.

For a woman to be behind her husband

A family relations specialist is a professional who combines the qualities of a psychologist, teacher and psychotherapist. Popularly called "matchmaker". Knows how to find and emphasize the good qualities and advantages of the bride or groom - first of all, for themselves.

Yulia Khrushcheva, leading specialist in family relations:

I have been working in this field for five years now. I’ll be honest: I came to work in a dating club out of curiosity; I’ve always wondered if families really are created and people get to know each other thanks to the work of a matchmaker. I remember when the first couple arrived, we congratulated her with tears in our eyes - it’s unforgettable, there was such a moral return...

I think this is a really serious charitable deed, because there are a lot of lonely people in Moscow. We conducted research last year - according to statistics, seventy percent of single people, that is, men and women who do not have a partner. It seems to me that our work allows us to get closer to the fact that the statistics are better, and yet there are fewer lonely people.

It’s very nice when couples are created, when they are invited to weddings - this happens very often. It happens that even children are named after the matchmakers who brought them together.

— And, in your opinion, what is the reason for this – “there is everything, but, nevertheless, there is no happiness in your personal life”?

— The fact is that a woman does not build a career non-stop because of a good life, at least in the format that exists in Moscow. When a woman earns money by sitting at work all day long, it only means that she is lonely. Because no man or husband will tolerate a woman constantly working without taking care of her family.

This is a mutual responsibility - a woman becomes successful, she is drawn into it, she is already getting used to her loneliness, she is already comfortable, as it seems to her. But in reality - dig a little deeper - this is pain, these are fears, this is resentment towards men, towards oneself.

It's the same for men.

At certain moments in life, everyone has complexes, and thanks to our work, they get rid of these “cockroaches”. We guide the person. We attach importance to family relationships. The woman, of course, already forgets about her career. She puts her in second place and takes care of her personal life.

What else can I say: men have changed. In my opinion, for the better, because now they take not only moral, but also material responsibility for the family. But the age at which a man gets married has also increased. That is, now the norm is thirty-five to forty years. They have the position that a man, like good wine, gets better every year. And a woman, alas, is considered to grow older every year.

Indeed, there are very few worthy men. This is primarily the result of improper upbringing. This is instilled from childhood. It is impossible to make a man a protector, caring, and responsible if he grew up without a father. This is very difficult to do if he lost his father early, or there was a difficult divorce. Mothers - they still raise a little differently. This is where gays come from, all these sad stories... We strive to improve the situation. I hope that in the next five years there will be a new generation of men who will correspond to their gender, so to speak.

For a woman to be behind her husband - this is exactly what we strive for.

— List the criteria that men impose on women?

“I used to think that men have more problems than women.” In fact, it's the opposite.

What does a man need? For a woman to be faithful, inspiring and attractive. That's all. That is, it creates a family atmosphere, family comfort, an atmosphere in the house. He brings, as a breadwinner, a mammoth, which she herself distributes.

A woman, on the contrary, has simply the most stringent requirements - that she earn a certain amount of money. To be attractive in appearance - tall, slender, tanned, without bad habits. In order to go to yoga with her, he must work with the children, he must also cook, even clean. Then it’s not clear what you, a woman, are doing in this family?

A man who makes a career physically does not have time to go to yoga with you, work with children every day, run a household... Therefore, if you really want a classic family, be kind, provide exactly the very atmosphere thanks to which he is inspired, earns money that provides for your family as a whole.

People don't need to be picked like tomatoes.

Speed ​​dating (express party, flirt party) is a format of mini-date parties organized with the goal of introducing people to each other. Participants are usually selected according to equal social groups. Some organizers introduce age restrictions. At a classic speed dating party, each participant will have 10-15 one-on-one meetings with members of the opposite sex.

The girls are seated at tables with numbers. The men sequentially change seats from one girl to another every 3-7 minutes. After each meeting, guests mark their impressions of the interlocutor in a “sympathy card” or directly exchange contacts. Next, the organizers compare the “sympathy cards” and, if they match, send contact information to the participants.

Andrey Yezhkov, head of the dating club and speed parties.

— I have 2 educations. Radio engineer and lawyer. For a long time he led the ordinary life of a single man. And so it turned out that I went to one party, met one girl, and she said: family relationships don’t work out, life doesn’t work out, and there seem to be so many lonely people around... let’s make our own dating site, we’ll organize parties for single people, can you help me? ?

And together with her we made a website, and then it turned out that for two or three months she worked with this website, held events, gathered people, and then met a man. And that’s it – she retired from the site’s affairs, handing them over to me.

I refused for a month, I said: “It’s not mine.” And then I tried it, and it became more and more interesting. And now I enjoy getting to know people.

A week ago, out of curiosity, I decided to look at the lists of those who came to the events. He began to cross out: this young man met, this one, this one... This one is dating, this one got married... It’s nice, of course.

I am glad that people get acquainted with my help and try to build their personal relationships. Now I will be finalizing the site, and we will make sure that couples who have already formed post their photos on the site. There will be weddings - there will be wedding photographs. So that people believe that they can meet each other. Indeed, there is no such thing as a big city. And in a big city there are opportunities to meet people.

- But why is it more difficult to meet people in a big city?

- There is a very large selection here. Suppose you look around - five, seven, ten girls. Every girl is beautiful. If this were in a small town, there would not be five girls, but one or two, for example. And it’s easier for you to choose between two than to choose between five. There is quite a large selection here, there is someone to choose from, there is someone to meet.

Why do people want to meet people? Often - to satisfy some mercantile needs. And less often - in order to actually live, build, help each other.

And, the most important point is that our society has turned into a society of consumers. That is, people do not want to give something, but want to take it right away. Both women and men. This attitude is formed by the media, films, and the Internet. For example, go to the Internet - find any site, choose what you want.

And that’s how people are chosen. Not for some human qualities, not for the way he treats close people, but like tomatoes in a store. This one has a wormhole, and this one has a dimple in the wrong place on his cheek, and this one has a wrong nose, and this one is all wrong...

Large selection spoils people. You can get acquainted within a few minutes and take them to your home. Sometimes women themselves raise such male consumers with their availability. They open a magazine - and there is a naked woman. And it says: call such and such a number, and below is the price. I called and that was it. Why learn to care for a woman?

— How are your meetings at clubs going? Are there any “tricks”?

- Certainly. We not only have express dating, we have boat trips, barbecues, and the game “Mafia”. She enjoys special love among us. What I advocate in this game is for people to be able to read other people, to study each other. And we did this, for example, not for a month, two, three, six months - but we tried to read in a week whether there is any point in building some kind of relationship with this person, is there any point in dating?

We must try to unwind a person, read, understand when he is deceiving, when he is not deceiving, without wasting time. Because the main value now is time. It is impossible to spend six months on one person.

One woman told me: “I’m thirty-three. If I date this for six months, another six months, I’ll already be thirty-four. Then another six months, six months with the next one - I’m already thirty-five. And at thirty-six, maybe no one will need me anymore.” Also true.

What advice should you give to single women? You just need to be active. Let her set goals for herself: to come to dating clubs, to parties, to theaters, and most importantly, so that she herself is ready to communicate. Don't hide in a corner.

For example, in the evening there is an opportunity - I called a friend and went somewhere. The main thing is not to sit at home. Let them make acquaintances everywhere too, no matter how: they exchanged business cards, maybe you won’t see each other again or you’ll run away – so what? The main thing is to act, be open, and not be afraid.

This is a panacea - to be able to speak and to be able to hear people who are telling us something. This is the main thing that should push each other, that’s all.

It's harder for women now than for men. We have already talked about accessibility.

And - general inertia. Why are Moscow being conquered by non-residents and visitors? Because they are stronger. Their blood and desire are stronger. There are fewer and fewer native Muscovites, they are disappearing. Why should a man conquer a woman when he can just sit there, she will come up and the two of them will leave? Simplicity and accessibility.

- So, you don’t need to come over?

- Necessary! A woman must become a hunter. But when she hunts, she shouldn't show it. You need to try to make sure that at the first stage there is a small game. You don’t need to tell everything about yourself, burden yourself with your problems, you don’t need to strive to immediately pull a man somewhere: “Give me this, give me that, and this is where I want to go, and this is where I want to go here.” There is no need to immediately overload a man, there is no need to put pressure. You just need to learn as much as possible. A woman should be both accessible and inaccessible. Both smart and stupid.

photosight.ru. Photo: Nadezhda Gerasimova

— I know that your family will have a baby in just a couple of weeks... Tell us a little about your family.

My parents lived together for forty-two years. Father, the kingdom of heaven, died three years ago. He was a builder. I was mainly raised by example, not by a belt. Plus there is also character - there was a real male upbringing. I am grateful to my parents for what I am, I am very grateful to my father, who made me a normal man - a protector, a provider. And my wife, of course. She made me a better person, that's obvious.

How did you meet? I don’t know... somehow I immediately felt something different. And she felt that I was hers. And the relationship somehow began calmly, without any conquests. When we got married, I was thirty-eight, she was thirty-two.

It’s such a pleasure to wake up in the morning next to your beloved wife. A normal man, if he loves a woman, will say: “Darling, maybe I should bring you some coffee?” Only my wife doesn’t drink coffee, I get up and say: “Darling, I’m going to drink coffee and feed the cats.” Then my wife got up and ate together. We discussed what our plans are for today.

Because any actions in the family - who goes to the store, what to clean, what to wash - this brings everything closer to each other. Gives something in common, makes it clear that each family member needs each other. This is the main thing in the family.

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