John of Kronstadt - Unpublished diary
Holy Righteous John of Kronstadt
Unpublished diary
Memoirs of Bishop Arseny about Father John of Kronstadt
The Lord destined me to accept monasticism through prayer and the absentee blessing of Father John of Kronstadt. Having entered the Theological Academy, I began to look for an opportunity to see him in Moscow, where he often came to serve the Divine Liturgy and visit the sick. Soon the Lord fulfilled my desire. My comrade Elijah Abburruss, later the rector of the Antioch metochion, Archimandrite Ignatius, going one day to his patron, the Most Reverend Tryphon, Bishop of Dmitrov, for whom Father John intended to serve in the church of the cross, he took me with him. In the named church my first prayer communication with the great shepherd took place. This was so dear to me that to this day I have a feeling of gratitude to Father Ignatius and all those who later contributed to my rapprochement with Father John. These, by the way, were Alexander Semenovich and Elena Mikhailovna Mironov and especially Vera Ivanovna Pertsova.
After moving from the Academy to Moscow, I saw and served with the priest quite often. Well-wishers informed me about each of his visits. Thus, I had the consolation of celebrating the Divine Liturgy with him in the communities “Quench My Sorrows” [1], Iverskaya [2], in the Boyevskaya almshouse [3] and at the Antioch metochion.
I remember the order and features of Father John’s ministry. He came straight to the temple, entered the altar through the side doors, knelt down in front of the throne and, laying his hands on it, was sometimes in this position for quite a long time. At this time, the priest repented of all the sins he had committed over the past day, and stood up when he felt that the Lord was forgiving him. Renewed and invigorated in spirit, he then warmly greeted everyone present, put on his stole, blessed the beginning of Matins and went out to read the canon and daily stichera in the books that were usually prepared by the archpriest of the Church of Unexpected Joy in the Kremlin Nikolai Lebedev - a friend and constant companion of Father John in Moscow. The priest read impetuously, placing emphasis on some places, often repeating the elephant, or even entire expressions. Apparently, he made an effort to understand everything himself and to be understandable to those present. For the same reason, he was interested in the impressions received from his reading. After a short matins and entrance prayers, Father John began the proskomedia, and sometimes left it to one of the priests to perform it. The priest served with concentration; tears appeared in his eyes, especially at the most important moments. Then the power of his prayer and closeness to the Lord was felt. After the liturgy, the priest usually went to the rector of the temple or to the authorities of the institutions where he officiated; here he drank a cup of tea and refreshed himself with a meal.
At every meeting with him, one had to make sure that Father John’s mood always and everywhere remained equal, elevated, spiritual, producing a morally sobering effect on those present. Wherever he appeared, the atmosphere immediately became holy. Cheerful conversations, jokes, smoking tobacco and the like were unacceptable in front of him. Perhaps you have come across a miraculous image when those gathered behave reverently; the same thing was observed in the presence of the priest: base, petty interests receded into the background, and the soul was filled with only the lofty, heavenly; everyone united in this bright mood of spirit, and a powerful wave of religious feeling resulted.
In 1906, on July 24, Father John unexpectedly visited the Chudov Monastery and first of all went to my vicar’s quarters. Sitting in the office on an armchair near the desk, the priest talked with me, and I let him read his letter from 1899, in which he advised me to take monasticism. Expressing pleasure by shaking his head, the great shepherd stood up and began to leave. I asked you to bless me. Walking through the chambers, he recommended that I take advantage of fresh air more often and not be afraid to open the windows.
While examining the monastery, the priest became interested in the sacristy, where he drew attention to the Gospel written by Metropolitan Alexy. Holding it in his hands for a long time, he put the shrine to his head, kissed it and said enthusiastically: “What happiness I have today - I see and kiss my own manuscript of the great saint.” Then, venerating the honorable relics of the saint, he tenderly said goodbye to everyone and left. This visit was like a wonderful dream for us.
The next day, July 25, I served with Father John in the church of the “Quench My Sorrows” community. After the liturgy, I, along with others, was invited to the boss’s apartment, where at the table the priest gave me a lot of food from his plate and was very friendly. From here he went to the Mironovs, and Father Ignatius and I hurried there. All close admirers of the Kronstadt shepherd usually accompanied him everywhere in Moscow. At the Mironovs, I had to witness the priest’s extraordinary concentration in his home environment. After drinking tea with everyone, during which they brought children to him, showed them the sick and asked for advice, he publicly announced: “And now I will read the Holy Gospel and rest a little.” For this purpose, the priest moved to another room, sat down on the sofa and plunged into reading, despite the fact that the eyes of those present were fixed on him. He immediately put a pillow under his head and dozed off. When we said goodbye, Father John gave me his diary “Grief of the Heart!” with a handwritten signature and a warm cassock made of eider down, covered with pink silk material with flowers, and I, in turn, presented him with an icon of St. Alexis. Father kissed it and put it in his side pocket with the words: “Deeply touched.”
I further recall my stay with Father John in the Aulovsky monastery of the Yaroslavl province. Here I was given a place in a hotel, but I only spent the night there, and spent the rest of the time in the priest’s house. I prayerfully thank the abbess of the Petrograd Ivanovsky Monastery and the above-mentioned monastery, Abbess Angelina, who showed me great hospitality and assistance in getting closer to Father John.
In Aulov, the priest served daily, spoke teachings and gave communion to the people, who filled the temple in large numbers. The day before, the regular priests held an all-night vigil for the pilgrims and offered confession. By the grace of God, I also took part in celebrating the liturgy with the great shepherd every time. I remember Father John himself selected a miter for me, and one day, while drinking some warmth with me at the altar, he asked: “Do you serve good wine for services in Chudov?” “I answered: “Average.” “I,” said Father John, “try to buy the best for such a great Sacrament.” When the priest came out with the Chalice, there was great confusion in the temple: everyone was striving for the salt; he, however, treated those present strictly. His voice was often heard: “You took communion yesterday, but today I won’t allow it because you’re lazy and don’t work enough” - or: “Did you go to confession? You must always clear your conscience before the Sacrament.” It also happened like this: seeing the onslaught, and perhaps unworthy, he went to the altar, announcing that he would no longer give communion. Two nuns standing on either side sometimes dared to refute the priest’s remarks; willingly agreeing with them, Father John said: “Well, then it’s a different matter,” and with love he taught the Holy Mysteries to those who wished.
At one of the liturgies here, in Aulov, a terrible noise and scream arose at the locked entrance doors. They shouted: “Father, tell them to let us in - give us communion!” It was the so-called “Johnnites” who were breaking in, whom the guards who came from Yaroslavl decided not to allow into the temple.
It must be said that Father John suffered a lot of grief and moral suffering from his unreasonable admirers; the latter acquired special poignancy and strength because uncalled guardians of his honor and supposedly intercessors of the Church of Christ [4] often reported in condensed colors about abuses of his name.
I had such a case. We were on the terrace of the house. Father, sitting in a chair, was resting. Suddenly they reported the arrival from Yaroslavl of representatives of the Orthodox Russian people who wished to see Father John. The latter allowed them to enter. Those who came began to talk about the malicious actions of the Johnnites, pointing out that they were collecting money for the priest, taking away houses, and most importantly, preaching that the Holy Trinity, God Himself, was incarnate in him. It was with great sadness that Father John listened to this statement. “And who especially spreads such heresy?” - he questioned. “M.P., who is now in Aulov.” - “Call him to me.” Soon M.P. entered the terrace. With his head bowed, he knelt before the priest. Father John, I remember, told him this: “Please tell me, when you brought me donations, didn’t I always ask you whether they were voluntary, and whether you were extorting them from anyone? You answered me: “No, father, everyone is happy to sacrifice for you.” “Yes, it’s true,” confirmed M.P. - “Now look at the conversations going on: you are robbing people in my name, forcing entire houses to sign up, and even preaching a terrible heresy that I am God. Only madmen can say that: it is blasphemy. Repent, otherwise God’s curse will fall on you.” Here an act of denunciation was drawn up; it was signed by those present and Father John himself. It was clear how he suffered morally throughout the conversation.
"My life in Christ"
This book is rightly called the best theological work of the 19th century.
History of writing
Among the spiritual heritage of Fr. John, the book “My Life in Christ, or Minutes of Spiritual Sobriety and Contemplation, Reverent Feelings, Mental Correction and Peace in God,” which was published in 1894, stands out.
Father John kept a diary all his life, where he wrote down his thoughts, reasoning, conversations with himself, and fragments of sermons. The result was the publication of a book that quickly became popular and was translated into foreign languages.
Idea and essence
“When I could, I wrote down blessed thoughts and feelings,” admitted Fr. John in the preface to the lifetime edition. He points out that the content is quite varied.
He publishes his search for the human mind - diary entries - with the aim of showing a “school of spiritual life”, the beneficial effects of which will certainly have an impact. Moreover, he does this not edifyingly, simply talking about his experience of knowing God, referring to sensations.
The main idea of the work is that true faith in God is necessary, because salvation in the fight against passions can only be devotion to the Orthodox Church.
With Christ in our hearts, we are happy with everything, the priest emphasizes, “and inconvenience is like the best comfort for us, and bitter is like sweet, and hunger is like satiety, and sorrow is like joy.”
The text contains many questions to which the author is looking for answers. There are many comparisons: “How do the saints see us and our needs and hear our prayers?.. May you be transported to the sun and united with the sun. The sun illuminates with its rays the whole earth, every grain of sand on earth... So the holy soul, uniting with God, as with the spiritual sun, sees through the medium of its spiritual sun illuminating the entire universe, all people and the needs of those who pray.”
He never stops repeating the need for prayer. “When the darkness of the accursed covers you - doubt, despondency, despair, confusion, then call only with all your heart the sweetest name of Jesus Christ, in Him you will find everything: light, confirmation, hope, consolation, and peace, you will find in Him the very goodness, mercy, generosity, you will find all this enclosed in one name, as if in some rich treasury.”
Genre of the work
More often the book is called a diary. But the only thing in common with the genre of the diary “My Life in Christ” is the principle of fragmentation. It does not contain dates, a specific chronology, or descriptions of events.
The book contains many artistic comparisons and images of nature. Father John appreciated all the creations of the Lord and never tired of admiring them. He reflected this on the pages of his diaries.
Text structure
The book is divided into two volumes. Inside each there are numbered fragments combined into hundreds. There are 1822 of them in total.
The first volume opens with a foreword by the author. It ends with fragment 814. The second volume begins with a prayer, followed by fragment 815.
Often fragments begin with a quotation from the Gospel, which the author reflects on. You can’t talk about paragraphs being independent. Each subsequent one complements or explains the previous one, due to this, a work that is unified in meaning is formed.
Charity on an especially large scale
Kronstadt.
The men's gymnasium, where St. taught the law for 25 years. right John of Kronstadt. Photo from the site hamburg-hram.de Soon all believers in Russia flocked to the great wonderworker. The second period of his life had begun. First Fr. John himself went to the people, and now all of Russia was coming to him. Thousands of people came to Kronstadt every day, wanting to see Fr. John and get help from him. He received an even greater number of letters and telegrams:
Kronstadt post office for correspondence about. Joanna was supposed to open a special department.
Together with letters and telegrams they came to Fr. John and huge sums of money for charity. Their size can only be judged approximately, because when receiving money, Fr. John immediately distributed everything.
According to the most minimal calculation, at least one million rubles passed through his hands a year (a huge amount at that time)!
With this money Fr. John fed a thousand beggars every day, built a “House of Hard Work” in Kronstadt with a school, a church, workshops and a shelter, founded a convent in his native village and erected a large stone church, and in St. Petersburg he built a convent on Karpovka, in which he was buried at his death.
Having achieved a high degree of dispassion, Fr. John calmly accepted the rich clothes presented to him by his admirers and dressed himself in them. He needed this to hide his exploits.
He gave away all the donations he received, down to the last penny.
So, having once received a package from the hands of a merchant in front of a huge crowd of people, Fr. John immediately handed it over to the poor man’s outstretched hand, without opening the package. The merchant got excited: “Father, there are a thousand rubles!” “His happiness,” Fr. calmly answered. John.
Personal carriage of John of Kronstadt, donated to the priest by his admirers. Kronstadt, 1898. Photo from the site: mir.zavantag.com
Sometimes, however, he refused to accept donations from certain people. There is a known case when he did not accept 30 thousand rubles from one rich lady. In this case, the foresight of Fr. John, for this lady did not receive the money in a clean way, for which she repented.
To the general regret of the residents of Kronstadt, in the second period of his life, Fr. John had to leave teaching the Law of God at the Kronstadt City School and at the Kronstadt Classical Gymnasium, where he taught for over 25 years.
Teacher Fr. John was also wonderful: he never resorted to either excessive severity or moral humiliation of the incapable.
U o. John, the measures of encouragement were not marks, the measures of intimidation were not punishment. His success was born of his warm, kind attitude both towards the teaching itself and towards his students. Therefore, Father John had no “incapable” people. In his lessons, everyone, without exception, listened to his every word. They were waiting for his lesson. It was a lively conversation, an attention-grabbing story.
There were often cases when Fr. John, having interceded for some lazy student sentenced to expulsion, himself began to correct him. Several years passed, and from a child who seemed to show no hope, a kind man grew up. The special significance of Fr. John gave the reading of the lives of saints - real, living evidence of faith and deed.
And this work of teaching Fr. John had to leave for all-Russian counseling.
