Traditions and procedure for holding a funeral for the deceased on the fortieth day after death

The fortieth day after a person’s death has special significance. Orthodox Christians believe that at this time the soul of the deceased comes to the house for the last time to say goodbye to loved ones. After this, she leaves the earth forever and appears before the court of God, where she accounts for her actions. It is at this time that a decision is made about the further fate of the soul of the deceased. A funeral meal is a mandatory ritual held on the fortieth day after the death of a person. According to Orthodox traditions, close relatives, friends and colleagues of the deceased gather at the same table to once again honor the memory of the deceased. In this article we will talk about the features of holding a wake for 40 days and what a sample menu looks like.

The meaning of 40 days after death in Orthodoxy

In the Bible, the number forty has a sacred meaning:

• so many days did Moses' fast last before finding the Tablets with the Commandments;
• for forty years the Jewish people wandered in the desert before settling in the Promised Land;
• Christ spent forty days on earth after the Resurrection, and then ascended to Heaven.

According to Orthodox beliefs, during a forty-day period the soul of the deceased undergoes transformations that determine its place in Eternity:

• for three days the spirit hovers next to the body, then an angel appears and takes him to Paradise;
• until the ninth day the deceased is in Heaven, and then he awaits Judgment before the Almighty;
• At the Judgment, a person’s bad and good deeds are revealed, and Hell and eternal torment are also shown to him.

Commemoration of the dead on the fortieth day is an intercession of those living on earth so that their relatives find peace in Heaven. Prayers for forty days give strength to the soul of the deceased to undergo ordeals, strengthen it during a meeting with the Almighty and help to receive forgiveness of sins.

The fortieth day is a decisive memorial day on which the soul is given a place in Heaven or Hell. The appointment cannot be changed until the Last Judgment.

To tip the scales in favor of Paradise, from the ninth to the fortieth day after death, they remember the best things about the deceased and pray for the salvation of his soul.

How to avoid what is predicted in omens

One of the most unfavorable signs says that if you look into a mirror opened after a funeral, then death can enter the house a second time and take another life. In order to avoid what is promised in popular superstition, you need to bring a cat or cat to the mirror. This sign does not apply to them, and the curse will be lifted.

If a person swore at a wake on the fortieth day or behaved inappropriately at a funeral, he should visit the church and ask for forgiveness of this sin. It's even better to confess to a priest. Otherwise, the sinner may face troubles that will haunt him all year, namely: health problems, difficulties at work, discord in the family, quarrels with close friends, betrayal, betrayal by lovers. Additionally, it is worth asking for forgiveness of the deceased himself through prayer. You can do this in your own words. The main thing here is that they be sincere.

You can learn more about how to remember a loved one after death from the video below:

What to do for 40 days

The countdown of the memorial date begins from the moment of the person’s death. Traditional events on the fortieth day are a memorial service in the church and a memorial meal.

Service

A memorial service is a church service that is ordered on the third, ninth and fortieth day. The reading of prayers in church lasts from the evening and continues during matins. Also, on the day of death or the next day in the temple, you can order a sorokoust - a prayer that will be read about the deceased for forty days.

Categories of people for whom a memorial service cannot be ordered:

• unbaptized;
• Gentiles;
• blasphemers;
• suicides.

If the deceased belongs to one of the categories, you are allowed to pray for him at home.

Funeral table

Close relatives, friends, and colleagues are invited to dinner in memory of the deceased. The meal is served in a reserved and respectful atmosphere, without loud toasts. Typically, a memorial event lasts no more than two hours.

Guests are gathered at home and prepare their own food. A funeral lunch can be ordered at a catering establishment. You can also agree with the priest to have a meal in a prayer house and bless the dishes, especially if the deceased relative regularly attended church.

Alms

Before the funeral service, relatives leave a donation on a special table - eve. The clothes of the deceased are distributed to the poor with a request to pray for the servant of God and name his name. Sweets are also given to the poor as alms on the memorial day.

How to remember a relative and what to say at the funeral?

Those gathered at the funeral table remember not only the deceased, but also other deceased relatives or friends. The deceased himself must be spoken of as if he were also present at the dinner. The funeral speech must be delivered standing. First, according to generally accepted norms, the deceased should be honored with a minute of silence.

It is advisable to appoint a host (preferably a good family friend) who will oversee the funeral meal. He must ensure calm and order at the table, ensure that those invited in the order of priority say kind words about the deceased. The host prepares phrases in advance that can defuse the situation, distract guests, or smooth out the situation if funeral speeches begin to be interrupted by tears or strong emotions.

When commemorating a deceased person, talking about the personal lives of those invited or the illnesses of family members is not allowed. Issues of inheritance cannot be raised. It is important to remember that a wake is a farewell for the soul to another world, a way to help it make this difficult transition. Therefore, the funeral table is not the best place to share news or tell others about your problems.

Rules and procedures for holding funerals at home

The funeral fortieth day begins with a visit to the morning service in the church and cemetery. Flowers are brought to the grave and candles are lit to show respect to the deceased relative. Noisy feasts in the fresh air are not welcome. It is enough to sit on a bench and pray. You can also leave a saucer with kutya, cookies and sweets at the monument.

After the cemetery, the family of the deceased invites relatives and friends home for dinner. The first dish is kutia, a traditional porridge.

During the meal, funeral speeches are made. Close relatives speak first: parents, children, spouses, sisters and brothers. You can also invite a priest from the church that the deceased attended to lunch and ask him to read a sermon.

Funeral etiquette for the forties:

• jokes and laughter are not appropriate in the cemetery and at the table;
• discussion of work, family matters, issues of division of inheritance between relatives should be postponed until after the event;
• people come to the wake only by invitation;
• They leave a free place at the table for the deceased and place his portrait tied with a black ribbon.

People leave the event in honor of the forties in reverse order: colleagues and friends say goodbye first, leaving close relatives to finish the meal in a close circle.

How to dress for a wake for men:

• classic suit - black, dark brown or dark blue;
• light shirt;
• a tie of one color or with a small, unobtrusive pattern;
• without headdress.

Military personnel wear a dark dress uniform.

What to wear for women on their 40th birthday:

• midi length dress or skirt, below the knees;
• on top - a dark or light blouse or jacket;
• cover your head with a scarf, a hat with a veil, they can be removed indoors;
• gather hair into a neat bun, ponytail without shiny clips;
• For jewelry, you can leave a wedding ring and a pectoral cross.

It is not customary to give gifts or money at a funeral. The purpose of the event is the spiritual unity of loved ones. To express respect for the deceased and condolences to the family, a memorial speech at the table is enough. But you need to choose your words delicately. To acquaintances and colleagues it is enough to say a short phrase. If Christian believers have gathered around the table, it would be appropriate to recall the lines of the Bible and the sayings of the holy righteous.

They buried, remembered... What to do next?

After the burial and farewell, care must be taken to identify the burial site. A grave mound or cell in a columbarium must have a sign with the name and years of life of the deceased.

A monument to a cemetery is usually erected every other year. But if you want to perpetuate the memory of a departed loved one with something special, you should take care of individual production in advance. Here

They will help you bring any idea to life, making monuments of various shapes and designs.

And within a week after the funeral, the issue of designating the burial site should be resolved. If you contacted the crematorium, they will remind you to comply with this formality if you take the urn for burial in a relative grave. To do this, you can order the production of tablets for crosses or small marble or granite slabs engraved with inscriptions.

If you install fences, tables, benches, or monuments at the grave, you need to make an entry about this in the burial book. Otherwise, the administration of the necropolis will not be responsible for the safety of such property. And in case of damage or theft, there will be no one to file a claim.

In addition to cemetery formalities, recently buried relatives have worldly affairs to attend to, which should not be forgotten.

List of important worldly affairs

Mourning in our time is not a reason to close yourself within four walls, distancing yourself from everything and everyone. Only people who are very financially secure can afford to grieve in complete inaction. And everyone else needs to take care not to have problems with administrative legislation and financial situation.

After the funeral, you need to address the following issues:

1. Reimbursement of funeral expenses. This is your legal right, using which you can partially close the hole in the family budget left by the funeral. Both a relative of the deceased and a stranger who has kept all checks and receipts can receive compensation from the state. The agreed amount is paid by the employer of the deceased, the military registration and enlistment office, and the social institution. protection or pension fund for 6 months. In one of these authorities, depending on what social group the deceased belonged to during his lifetime, you should find out about the documents that must be provided to receive compensation.
2. Arrange an inheritance. The legislation allocates only six months for this process. Depending on who you are related to the deceased, the amount of material property that becomes your possession is determined. Those. spouses, children and parents inherit first, while cousins, aunts, uncles and more distant relatives can inherit second, third, etc. If the deceased made a will for you during his lifetime, regardless of your relationship to him, you legally own all the property or money specified in the document. In this case, the notary who retains the original must contact you to formalize the acceptance or non-acceptance of the inheritance. In the absence of a will, the relatives and friends of the deceased can divide the property by personal agreement and have it certified by a notary or, in case of a dispute, in court. If you have the last option, do not delay in finding a good and more or less inexpensive lawyer in civil cases, and also collect all kinds of evidence that you have more rights to a house, apartment, car, and so on (even receipts for medicines that you bought when the deceased was sick).
3. Register ownership. You can enter into an inheritance from the moment you receive a death certificate, but you still do not have the right to own property. Nevertheless, you are responsible for the inheritance. Those. When living in the apartment of the deceased, you need to enter your name in the database of housing and communal services. If within 6 months after the funeral the heirs of the first line do not show up, then by law it is considered that they abandoned it. Ownership must be registered by a notary and the data must be reported to the BTI, having in hand a technical passport for the property.
4. Renting out real estate. Before renting out the apartment or house of the deceased to strangers, carefully inspect everything, including cabinets, shelves, secret niches, etc. for the presence of documents and valuables. If there is something expensive or memorable, move it, but don’t leave it to the tenants. Otherwise, you risk becoming a victim of unscrupulous guests who will not only fail to pay rent and utilities, but will also clean out the apartment. In any case, rent out the deceased’s housing under a contract certified by a notary. As payment for the first few months of stay, you can offer the guests to make repairs at their discretion. And this point should also be included in the commercial lease agreement. Considering that the price of repairs is equal to the cost of the number of months of rent and utility bills

Recommendations for choosing a menu

Traditionally served at a wake:

• rice or wheat kutia;
• sandwiches with sprats, smoked salmon;
• fish in any form;
• minced meat cutlets with mushrooms and cheese;
• cabbage rolls;
• vegetable salads;
• pies with cabbage, potatoes, peas;
• pancakes.

Raisins, dried apricots, walnuts are added to the porridge, and honey is poured over it.

On fasting days, meat cutlets are replaced with rice and mushroom cabbage rolls. Alcohol, according to Orthodox tradition, is not placed on the table on a memorial day. Drinks served for forties include:

• kvass;
• lemonade;
• compote;
• juices

For dessert they offer sweets, cookies, and buns.

Common traditions

Funeral prayers can be read at home every day. But there are forbidden days for a memorial service:

• last week before Easter;
• Easter Sunday;
• Christmas;
• twelve holidays.

On holidays, the priest can make an exception and, at the request of relatives, read a litiya - a prayer in the vestibule of the church. Litiya can be read independently at home or at the burial place of the deceased for forty days.

An ancient tradition is to dine at funerals with wooden spoons. The devices are placed with their backs facing up. Sharp knives and forks are not used when setting the table. Funerals are allowed to be held earlier or later than the fortieth day.

Orthodoxy does not approve of the funeral custom of leaving a glass of vodka on the grave. Alcohol can be placed on the windowsill at home. If the glass is empty in the morning, it means that the soul of the deceased has accepted the offering. Crumbs from the funeral dinner are brought to the person’s resting place.

A man died. What to do? How to bury? What are the funeral rites? What to do on day 40?

When loved ones leave us forever, many questions swirl in our heads, the answers to which we look for everywhere in books, on the Internet, in various symbols. In this article you will find answers to the most popular questions.

How to cope with grief when a loved one dies?

“Do not give up your heart to sorrow; move her away from you, remembering the end. Do not forget this, for there is no return; and you will not benefit him, but will harm yourself. With the repose of the deceased, calm the memory of him, and you will be comforted about him after the departure of his soul" (Sir. 38:20, 21, 23)

Is it necessary to cover a mirror if one of your relatives has died?

The custom of hanging mirrors in a house where a death has occurred is partly due to the belief that whoever sees his reflection in the mirror of this house will also soon die. There are many “mirror” superstitions, some of them are associated with fortune telling on mirrors. And where there is magic and witchcraft, fear and superstition inevitably appear. A hung mirror has no effect on life expectancy, which depends entirely on the Lord.

How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Do I need to be baptized at the same time?

The farewell kiss of the deceased occurs after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss the aureole placed on the forehead of the deceased or apply it to the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized on the icon.

What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral service?

After the funeral service for the deceased, the icon can be taken home or left in the temple. The icon is not left in the coffin.

What should you eat at a funeral?

According to tradition, after the burial, a funeral table is assembled. The funeral meal is a continuation of the service and prayer for the deceased. The funeral meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo is boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. They also eat pancakes and sweet jelly. On a fast day, food should be lean. The funeral meal should be distinguished from a noisy feast by reverent silence and kind words about the deceased. Unfortunately, the bad custom of commemorating the deceased at this table with vodka and a hearty snack has taken root. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. It is sinful and shameful on the part of Christians to perform such a commemoration, which brings unspeakable grief to the newly departed soul, which these days is facing the decision of God’s Court, and it yearns for especially fervent prayer to God.

How to help the deceased?

It is quite possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased if you perform frequent prayers for him and give alms. It is good for the sake of the deceased to work for the Church or in the monastery.

What to read for the deceased during Easter week?

About death, burial and commemoration of the dead If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter canon is read.

Instead of the Psalter, on Bright Week the Acts of the Holy Apostles are read.

There is a belief that before the fortieth day nothing of the deceased’s belongings should be given away. Is this true?

You need to plead for the defendant before the trial, not after it. After death, when the soul goes through ordeals, judgment is carried out, one must intercede for it: pray and perform deeds of mercy. We must do good for the deceased: donate to the monastery, to the church, distribute the things of the deceased, buy sacred books and give them to believers from the day of his death until the fortieth day and after that. On the fortieth day, the soul is determined to the place (of bliss or torment) in which it will remain until the Last Judgment, until the Second Coming of Christ. Before the Last Judgment, you can change the afterlife fate of the deceased with intense prayer for him and alms.

Why is the death of the body necessary?

“God did not create death and does not rejoice in the destruction of the living, for He created everything for being” (Wisdom 1:13,14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with hands and words, considered her a friend and wasted away, and made a covenant with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wisdom 1:15,16). For many people, death is a means of salvation from spiritual death. For example, children who die at an early age do not know sin. Death reduces the amount of total evil on earth. What would life be like if there were Cain murderers forever, betraying the Lord of Judah and others like them? Therefore, the death of the body is not “ridiculous,” as people of the world say about it, but is necessary and expedient.

Why is the remembrance of the dead performed?

While a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death this possibility disappears, only hope remains in the prayers of the living. After the death of the body and private judgment, the soul is on the threshold of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how the short earthly life was lived. But much depends on prayer for the deceased. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased - right up to their complete justification.

Which commemoration of the dead is the most important?

The Holy Fathers of the Church teach that the most powerful and effective means for the departed to ask for God’s mercy is to remember them at the Liturgy. It is necessary, in the coming days after his death, to order a magpie in the church, that is, a commemoration at forty Liturgies: the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered forty times for the deceased, a particle is taken from the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the remission of sins of the newly deceased. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.

What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What should you do these days?

Holy Tradition preaches to us from the words of holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of testing the soul after its departure from the body. For the first two days, the soul of the deceased still remains on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, walks through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good and evil deeds. This is how the soul spends the first two days, but on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, it is timely for the church to commemorate the soul of the deceased, who appeared before God. Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. The soul remains in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the 9th day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the Throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge to place the soul of the deceased with the saints. After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of God. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned a certain place, which she has been awarded due to her deeds. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They ask for forgiveness of sins and the inclusion of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. On these days, memorial services and litias are celebrated.

The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity. Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and representatives to Him, petition for pardon for the deceased.

The commemoration on the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, is based on the forty-day cry of the Israelis about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparing and receiving a special Divine gift, for receiving the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. Thus, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the Law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb after forty days. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering in the desert. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established the commemoration of the departed on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous. On all these days, it is very important to order the commemoration of the deceased in the Church by submitting notes for the Liturgy and (or) requiem service.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is Catholic?

Private, cell (home) prayer for a heterodox deceased is not prohibited - you can remember him at home, read psalms at the grave. In churches, funeral services are not performed or commemorated for those who never belonged to the Orthodox Church: Catholics, Protestants, non-Christians and all those who died unbaptized. The funeral service and requiem service were compiled with the confidence that the deceased and the funeral service were a faithful member of the Orthodox Church. Being outside the Church during life, heretics and schismatics are even further removed from it after death, for then the very possibility of repentance and turning to the light of truth is closed for them.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for an unbaptized deceased?

The Church cannot remember the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, were not reborn to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot be involved in the benefits that He promised to those who love Him. For the relief of the fate of the souls of the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism, and of infants who died in the womb or during childbirth, Orthodox Christians pray at home (read the canon) to the holy martyr Huar, who has the grace from God to intercede for the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism. From the life of the holy martyr Huar, it is known that through his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who revered him, who were pagans.

Who is the newly departed, ever-remembered?

For forty days after the death of the deceased, they are called newly deceased. On memorable days for the deceased (death, name day, birth), he is called ever-remembered or ever-memorable.

What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?

If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, then he must come to the church and order an absentee funeral service, as well as order magpies and memorial services.

Do the departed pray for us?

If the deceased is righteous, then he himself, being before the Throne of God, will respond to the love of those praying for him with his own fervent prayer. Is it necessary to serve a memorial service for a baby?

Dead babies are buried and memorial services are served for them, but in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins (since babies do not consciously commit sins), but ask to be honored with the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is it possible to pray for the repose of suicides and remember them in church?

Suicide is based on disbelief in God's Providence and despair - these are mortal sins. Mortals, because they do not give room for repentance, remove God’s saving grace from man. A person voluntarily and completely surrenders himself to the power of the devil, blocks all paths to grace. How will the influence of this grace be possible for him? It is quite natural that the Church cannot offer a propitiatory Bloodless Sacrifice for such people and no prayer at all. If the person who took his own life was mentally ill or was driven to suicide by bullying and oppression (for example, in the army or in prison), then his funeral service may be blessed by the ruling bishop. To do this, a written petition must be submitted. Private, home prayer for the repose of suicides is not prohibited, but this must be done with the blessing of the confessor.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died during the war if the place of his burial is unknown?

If the deceased was baptized, then a funeral service can be performed in absentia, and the soil received after the funeral in absentia must be sprinkled in a cross pattern on any grave in an Orthodox cemetery. The tradition of performing a funeral service in absentia appeared in the twentieth century in Russia due to the large number of those killed in the war, and since it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests, due to the persecution of the Church and persecution of believers. There are also cases of tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, a funeral service in absentia is permissible.

Is it true that on the 40th day, the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three services in succession?

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie from the Church. This is a daily intensified commemoration of the newly deceased during the first forty days - until the private trial, which determines the fate of the soul beyond the grave. After forty days, it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. You can also order longer-term commemorations in monasteries. There is a pious custom - to order commemoration in several monasteries and churches (their number does not matter). The more prayer books there are for the deceased, the better.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased?

If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, was not a fighter against God and did not commit suicide, then you can order a memorial service, and you can have the funeral service in absentia.

Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa?

What to do if, believing this, they regularly submitted notes to the temple commemorating suicides?

The Church never prays for suicides. We must repent of what we did at Confession and not do it again. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not believe rumors.

What is Parents' Saturday?

On certain days of the year, the Church commemorates all deceased Christians. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays. On the morning of Parents' Saturdays, during the Liturgy, all departed Christians are remembered. After the Liturgy there are also general memorial services.

When are Parents' Saturdays?

Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a permanent date, but are associated with the moving day of Easter celebration. Meat Saturday occurs eight days before the start of Lent. Parents' Saturdays occur on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent. Trinity Parental Saturday - on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, new style) there is Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday.

Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?

You can and should always pray for peace. This is the duty of the living to the deceased, an expression of love for them, since the deceased themselves can no longer pray for themselves. All Saturdays of the year that do not fall on holidays are dedicated to the remembrance of the dead. But you can pray for the departed, submit notes in church and order memorial services on any day.

What other days of remembrance of the dead are there?

Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. On Radonitsa they share the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord with the deceased, expressing hope for their resurrection. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. Because of this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called “Rainbow”, or “Radonitsa”.

The commemoration of deceased soldiers is performed by the Orthodox Church on May 9, the holiday of Victory over Nazi Germany. Warriors killed on the battlefield are also remembered on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist (September 11, new style).

Why do you need to bring food to the temple?

Believers bring various foodstuffs to the temple so that the ministers of the Church will remember the departed at a meal. These offerings serve as donations, alms for those who have passed away. In former times, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th) funeral tables were set, at which the poor, homeless, and orphans were fed, so that there would be many people praying for the deceased. For prayer and, especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is made easier. Then these memorial tables began to be placed in churches on the days of the universal remembrance of all Christians who have died since centuries with the same purpose - to remember the departed.

What is eve?

Kanun (or eve) is a special table (square or rectangular) on which there is a Cross with a Crucifix and holes for candles. Before the eve there are funeral services. Candles are placed here and food can be placed to commemorate the dead.

What foods can you put on the eve?

Usually on the eve they put bread, cookies, sugar - everything that does not contradict fasting. You can donate lamp oil and Cahors oil for the eve. It is prohibited to bring meat food into the temple.

If a person died in a continuous week before Peter's Lent, does this mean anything?

Doesn't mean anything. The Lord only ends a person’s life when he sees him ready to move into eternity or when he sees no hope for his correction. “Do not hasten death by the errors of your life, and do not attract destruction to yourself by the works of your hands” (Wis. 1:12). “Do not indulge in sin, and do not be foolish: why should you die at the wrong time?” (Eccl. 7:17).

What soul does not go through ordeals after death?

From Sacred Tradition it is known that even the Mother of God, having received notification from the Archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, prostrated herself before the Lord, humbly begged Him so that, at the hour of the exodus of Her soul, She would not see the prince of darkness and hellish monsters, but so that the Lord Himself would accept Her soul into His Divine hands. It is all the more useful for the sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them and do everything to cleanse the conscience and correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for man; For God will bring every work into judgment, even every secret thing, whether it is good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13,14).

They say that those who die on Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?

The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you do not know the ways of the wind and how the bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does all things” (Eccl. 11:5) He who lived godly, did good deeds, bore the cross, repented, confessed and received communion - by the grace of God he can be granted a blessed life in eternity and regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his entire life in sins, did not confess or receive communion, but died on Bright Week, how can one say that he received the Kingdom of Heaven?

Why is it necessary to receive communion on the days of remembrance of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?

There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased get ready and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, having repented, including of sins related to the deceased, forgive him all insults and ask for forgiveness themselves.

How many days do people mourn for the deceased?

There is a tradition of mourning for forty days for a deceased loved one, since on the fortieth day the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will remain until the Last Judgment of God. That is why, until the fortieth day, intense prayer is required for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is intended to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, and to prevent active involvement in previous everyday affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The internal is more important than the external.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on the anniversary of the death of a close relative?

The main days of remembrance of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and namesake. The day of death is the day of the second birth, but for a new one - not earthly, but eternal life. Before visiting the cemetery, you should come to the church at the beginning of the service and submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (it is better if it is commemorated at a proskomedia).

Is it possible to cremate the deceased?

Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults. There is no prohibition in the sacred books to burn the bodies of the dead, but there are positive indications of the Christian faith on another and the only acceptable way of burying bodies - this is by committing them to the earth (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27:59, 60). This method of burial, accepted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and sanctified by it with a special rite, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - the belief in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this faith, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary euthanization of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is a natural bed of repose and who is therefore called by the Church the deceased (and according to the world - the deceased) until the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the dead instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to the anti-Christian doctrine of non-existence. If the deceased wished to be cremated, it is not a sin to violate this dying will. Cremation may be permissible only in exceptional cases when there is no way to bury the body of the deceased.

Is it possible to get married in the year of your mother's death?

There is no special rule in this regard. Let your religious and moral feeling itself tell you what to do. On all significant life issues one must consult a priest.

What to do if you dream of a dead person?

You don't need to pay attention to dreams. However, we should not forget that the eternally living soul of the deceased experiences a great need for constant prayer for it, because it itself can no longer do good deeds with which it would be able to appease God. Therefore, prayer (in church and at home) for deceased loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.

What should you do if, after the death of a loved one, your conscience is tormented by the wrong attitude towards him during life?

A living person can do much more for a deceased person than when he was alive. The deceased are in great need of prayer and alms given for them. Therefore, we must devote all our strength to prayer: read the Psalter at home, submit notes of remembrance in church, feed the poor and homeless, help the old and sick and ask them to remember the deceased. And in order for your conscience to calm down, you need to go to church for Confession and sincerely tell the priest everything that it accuses you of.

What to do when visiting a cemetery?

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform the litia. If this is not possible, then you can read the short rite of the lithium yourself, having first purchased the corresponding brochure in a church or Orthodox store. If you wish, you can read an akathist about the repose of the departed. Just be silent, remember the deceased.

Is it possible to have a “wake” in a cemetery?

Apart from the kutia consecrated in the temple, you should not eat or drink anything in the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. There is no need to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, and Holy Spirit Day?

Sundays and holidays should be spent in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days of remembrance of the dead - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as anniversaries of death and namesake days of the deceased.

Information about all organizations providing funeral services, religious holidays and customs in Minsk and other cities of Belarus can be found on the website of the Ritual Services Directory