Condolences to family and friends regarding death in your own words

Category: Congratulations » Poems Pure, sincere poems of condolences for death, collected in this article, will help you support a loved one in the most difficult period of his life. Beautiful words will not be able to bring back a departed friend or relative, but they will help share the grief of loss between dear people.

The short works collected below will help you find comforting words for a friend, mother, father, husband, brother or sister, or child. Unfortunately, no one can avoid this side of our life, this pain, and support at that moment from loved ones is equally important for both men and women.

Look - and perhaps among the works collected below you will find the words you need... An autumn, warm, gentle day. It would seem that there is no place for sadness... But suddenly a shadow came across their faces: You and I met trouble that day... The heavens opened in our arms ,They called us on our way. The ancient thunderstorm grumbled in tears, And the downpours washed us away from our sins. The sky will call someone today, Someone will be picked up tomorrow on the snowy path, Someone will be carried further by time, Someone will be told: “He’s already lived, that’s enough!” He’ll be left without counting the important things that he didn’t have time to finish. But the Angel of Death didn’t want to wait, We couldn’t avoid meeting him... The soul rushed off into infinity, up, It’s impossible for her to return to this world, For her silent gates will close... The soul rushes off into infinity, up...

We are losing relatives, We are losing friends. But we know that they are always nearby, That they left a mark in our hearts, And their souls will always be alive. Please say a few words, And you are silent in peace, Please come back from the world of dreams. I I beg you, wake up! Tell me, where did you go early? Answer me, what happened? Yes, there was time, suddenly it’s gone, It’s so fickle. The fire of the burning candle went out, Without allowing anything to be corrected, Taking you away from us forever, Stealing you and no one. You won’t see us again, And you won’t shake hands with your friends. And you won’t tell about your problems. You won’t rejoice. Yes, under the verdict of the big system, the scheme of life is inexorable, And now those with whom you were once friends bring you flowers. Oh, the evil passage of life took you to your dreams. You remember your friends, But you come to them only in dreams. They will not forget you. You can’t be forgotten And in your memory will forever be - Your kind smile. You cry... You are overcome by sadness. In vain now you you shed tears... Even though you know, you can’t bring him back, Resentment, melancholy are all past dreams... Know, he is alive, he is really with you! He will be in your memory as long as you remember him... And in a dream, in case of trouble, he will cover his back, It’s only a pity that you you won’t remember... A particle of our heart is carried away by Hearts that have gone from us to heaven, Ineffable voices there hear, And in that bliss they ask for nothing. The earthly lamp of life is extinguished here, But everything is life-giving in the Holy Homeland, Souls go to the Golden City of Heaven, Their path to heaven is decorated with faith. The soul of the Lord is warmed by the mercy, And the spirit of God achieves its peace, And the singing of angels flows like a holy river, All the glory of Heaven is sung with awe. A piece of our heart is carried away by Hearts that guide the path to heaven, Realizing the whole mysterious essence, Earthly souls ask for unity. Only the grass rustles over my head Yes, the sunlight barely breaks through I lie covered in the earth, All covered with earth, Understanding only that I am no more, That in vain then the doctors came in vain trying to find out where and what hurts in vain trying to find out, in vain trying to heal I am free Damn beautiful and killed The damp earth whispers a lullaby Covered with leaves by the roadside willow Today my eyes were opened for the first time And this makes me sad, hurt, sad. How could I exchange my life for coins Not noticing everything that fate has given Missing the most important moments in life Spending years of flirting, cigarettes and beer. But this is probably not the time to regret the past About the minutes that merged into one silent film And now I just have to entertain myself with reading Repeating again and again: LOVE, REMEMBER, MOURN.

Life takes us far away and we don’t notice what it gives us, we love pity, we groan with sadness. We don’t know what else, where it will turn. And then it happened that we suddenly lost love and youth intertwined. We groan because if we knew ...I wish I could bring it back. it’s no longer our turn... let them be carried away by the wind into the sky. Their spirit will remain alive on that earth. And it seems it was all a tall tale. It was all somewhere in a dream: '(:'(Death comes unnoticed, Completely unexpectedly, It was everything is fine, But then, and not now. Suddenly the person was gone... There was... A moment... And no... And only in the memory of those close to him Will he forever leave a mark... Why is Death so merciless? Takes away everything that what’s dear! And she doesn’t care that you are a man and you don’t have wings behind your back! Indifferently carries their souls, Somewhere to paradise, where there is no sea and land. Where we are not, where we cannot say, those words that we could write...Why does the Angel of Death so quickly, Takes away everything that is close to us, Makes us cry, suffer, Write lines like these? Only Death doesn’t give a damn about everything, Making all loved ones cry...... We don’t carry them in treasured amulet on our chests, Oh We don’t write poems for her to the point of sobbing, She doesn’t awaken our bitter dreams, She doesn’t seem like a promised paradise, We don’t make her in our souls an object of purchase and sale, Sick, in poverty, silent on her, We don’t even remember about her. Yes, for us it’s dirt on our galoshes, Yes, for us it’s a crunch on our teeth. And we grind, and knead, and crumble that unmixed dust. But we lie down in it and become it, That’s why we call it so freely - ours.

***

Relatives are leaving.....

Relatives leave, go far away... We become so lonely in life... Like sad birds fly away... Familiar faces melt in the cloud... Don't cry, it hurts them to see you like this... Feeling sorry for yourself and strangers... Just look at your memory, they see and hear everything forever, they will help you when you call them to you, they will remember you kindly... Ask - they will answer when you are waiting for them... They always follow you with their eyes... They are our judges, they want the best for us... Don’t believe that they are not there, they are with us... And compare your lives with theirs with a stern look... Live more honestly for them and yourself... So that you will never be ashamed of us.

***

TO…

“Forgive me that I decided to write to you. A pen in hand is a grave in front of me. But what? everything is empty there. All the dust that she once beckoned to herself. There is a crowd of relatives around me, Their faces are covered with tears of pity. And I write - I write - but not for them. My love is not cold in the tomb. Love - but you did not know my torment. I feel that this is insignificant work: It will not sweeten the last minutes. But so be it - I am writing - while it is possible - This is the labor of my soul, my favorite work! Accept my letter. Your gaze will see that I could not constrain my soul to silence - the power of passions is so terrible! The letter of a sufferer will not offend you... I have experienced a lot in my life, I made a mistake in friendship - oh! keep my torment Words - forgive - and there is no more worry, Forgive me, my friend,” and signed: “Eugene.”

***

Orphan graves...

Abandoned orphan graves... Mourned by wind and rain. Those who are dear to the heart rest in them, The paths to them are overgrown with moss. The relatives left, taking only a memory, And a small handful of earth... They had to leave their graves, alas, Taking with them only an ocean of love... And the weeds wrap around them like paws. Even though the inscription is hidden, it doesn’t matter, it shouts: “To our dear one, from mom, sisters, dad, Son, imprisoned in granite.” And their dream flies like a bird into the sky, Although to return, at least for a moment, to that grave. But it hopelessly lowers its wings, Crashing its head against obstacles...

Sincerely, in your own words

In everyday life, we rarely use words from the mourning vocabulary. We sympathize with the death of relatives and friends, work colleagues , we want to console a friend or girlfriend who has lost his father or mother . But we can't find the right words. Memorized phrases sound false and insincere.

The main secret of condolences

What is important is support, a willingness to help with deeds and donate your time and efforts to a friend or friend at a time when he is vulnerable, depressed and needs participation. Tell us about your willingness to lend a shoulder!

Examples of condolences offering help

How can I help you these days?
A lot has fallen on you right now. What can I do for you?
I think you might need some help. I would like to participate.
I write well. We could write an obituary before the wake.
Let me organize a fundraiser for a good “shared contribution” monument?
It would be nice to present memorial cards for the funeral. Help?
When and if you need anything, contact me right away!
Do you have any wishes for flowers and wreaths?
If you need your hands in the kitchen before the wake, call!

An offer of help in difficult times always seems sincere.

Examples of verbal condolences for death

Funeral words should not contain falsehood or pathos. You say them to support the other person in difficult times, and not to express your own feelings. If you really have nothing to say, limit yourself to laconic phrases. The relative position of the mourner with the deceased should also be taken into account. It will be strange for a person in grief to hear “Blessed memory of your dad. Good memories are what will help him get through this loss,” if in fact he and his father did not have the best relationship.

I am shocked by the sad news. Be strong.
My heart is out of place from what I heard. Rest in peace __.
I can’t believe that such a person left us. This is an irreparable loss.
The loss of a mother (father, brother, etc.) is always difficult to experience. We sympathize and empathize.
The deceased and I did not always find a common language. Now I would like to apologize for the disagreement. I'm not always right either.
Please accept our words of consolation. How can we help you at this moment?
We sincerely sympathize with your entire family. We know how kind and sensitive N was.
Sad event. This is hard to talk about. We hope he finds peace in heaven.
This is a sad loss. I'm sorry that she didn't live as long as she would have liked.
It is difficult to find the right words at such a moment. Just remember that you can always turn to me for help.

Words of condolences can also be more personalized. This is quite appropriate if you knew the deceased personally. When offering condolences over a death, one should not talk about bad things, for example, about the reprehensible actions of the deceased. Only good things should be said, focusing on what positively characterizes the deceased.

Order a wreath for a funeral

How to Express Condolences

In writing

What is perceived with dignity in written condolences may sound false in a personal conversation. Conversely, colloquial phrases may appear vulgar in a written obituary, or awkward in a text message or funeral card.

Written condolences are expressed by:

Condolences via SMS, Whatsapp, Telegram...

Funeral cards on the website Solenovaniya.ru are designed in such a way that on the recipient’s smartphone they look like words of sympathy expressed in person.
Personal message (can complement a funeral card).
Farewell words and condolences in the obituary.

Examples of condolence cards via SMS:

Not “was”, “is” - the past tense is not applicable to it at all
Condolences.ru

I/WE lost him!
Condolences.ru

Kingdom of heaven and eternal peace!
Condolences.ru

Bright memory!
Condolences.ru

May she rest in peace!
Condolences.ru
Read also: Deadly sins according to the Bible - what they are and how many there are, how to atone for them

R.I.P…
Condolences.ru

Farewell words and condolences in an obituary have their own specifics.

On the one hand, it looks like a short speech at a wake . There is publicity and pathetic words of farewell.
On the other hand, this sidebar, a kind of commentary, should not duplicate the obituary, but only supplement it with a subjective view.
Finally, “What is written with a pen cannot be cut down with an ax . This applies to the highest degree to the obituary.

Examples of written condolence phrases in an obituary:

Oh no, he was a true St. Petersburg legend and never changed, no matter what. Everlasting memory! We will miss you so much, dear Bob!
From the obituary of Koshelokhov Boris Nikolaevich

My condolences! A very good and kind teacher, the students respected and loved him...
From the obituary of Demchenko to Vladimir Grigorievich

Very sad news. Another thread connecting generations of musicians was broken. I will always remember Sergei Rostislavovich’s kind attitude towards me.
From the obituary of Sergei Rostislavovich Zubkovsky

Thank you for the dear moments of my life... Especially for “Jack of Spades” and “Suicide”... The kingdom of heaven and eternal memory...
From the obituary of Vladimir Yuryevich Vetrogonov

We express our deepest condolences to the family and friends of Riva Yakovlevna. LET HER SOUL REST IN GAN-EDEN!
From the obituary of Riva Yakovlevna Chervonnaya

He was a special guy. Now they don't make things like that.
From the obituary of Golovanov Alexander Ivanovich

Responses to condolences when reporting a death

According to the provisions of mourning etiquette, relatives must personally or by telephone notify all relatives, friends, close and distant acquaintances of the deceased about the sad event. The use of email or instant messengers is allowed only in the most extreme cases. With such a notification, the place and date of farewell to the deceased are named, and the necessary additional information is provided. The interlocutors will express sympathy, and it is important to respond to these words correctly. “Thank you” doesn’t sound the most appropriate. The following options are more acceptable:

“Thank you for your support and help.”
“At this difficult time for us, your words of sympathy are very important.”
“Please accept gratitude for the kind words about the deceased.”
“We try not to lose heart. Your support helps us a lot."
“Thank you, you are very attentive.”

In personal contact, you can say nothing in response to condolences, accepting them silently, nodding, shaking hands with the interlocutor or hugging him.

Organizing a funeral requires a set of actions that are carried out promptly, carefully, taking into account specific circumstances.

Funeral arrangements

What to say to family and friends

Sincerity is the main value when you express condolences face to face. There are no universal tips here. It is necessary to take into account the degree of closeness of the deceased, whether you knew each other before, how much time has passed since the date of death, the history of relations with the relative. Words of sympathy should be modest and friendly, without surprises or extravagance.

In grief, the feeling of sincerity and falsehood intensifies. Feel free to choose in advance and at home say a couple of phrases of condolences out loud several times . This will allow you not to think about the wording at the right time and concentrate on the person and the circumstances.

Don't be shy about your feelings. If you want to hug a friend, touch her shoulder or hug her, shake a friend’s hand - shake it. A tear rolls down - don’t turn away, but brush it away. Take a bag of clean napkins with you - they may be useful to you or someone present.

100 phrases of condolences

Condolences in a speech at a wake

The pathos of a public speech at a wake involves a more formal expression of condolences than in a private conversation. You can use a short verse, a quote from the Bible, or a saying from one of the greats.

The rules of a funeral speech require focusing on one quality of the personality of the deceased person and illustrating this character trait with a specific incident from life.

Farewell words in honor of the memory of the deceased and condolences to loved ones should fit into the same semantic range and enhance the impression of the story. Not every epitaph, but some are certainly appropriate as condolences at a wake . Look through the conveniently presented texts of epitaphs on this site, and you will soon find several appropriate phrases for speech at a wake .

Traits of a good person

Select one or two of the most striking character traits of the deceased and mention this characteristic. Each of the characteristics has its own synonyms. Familiarize yourself with them - this will allow you to express your condolences to your family and friends in your own words. Here is a list of positive human qualities:

Altruism, Nobility, Politeness, Genius, Humanity, Discipline, Trust, Spirituality, Vitality, Shyness, Idealism, Initiative, Intelligence, Sincerity, Sociability, Wisdom, Reliability, Integrity, Optimism, Responsibility, Search for novelty (innovation), Decency , Insight, Professionalism, Punctuality, Decisiveness, Self-criticism, Dedication, Restraint, Modesty, Courage, Firmness of conviction, Tolerance (tolerance), Hard work, Self-confidence, Charisma, Composure, Honesty, Sensitivity, Sense of humor, Empathy (empathy).
Positive character traits of a person

Christian condolences

Is it right to express condolences using religious rhetoric?
When is it appropriate and when is it not appropriate to quote Holy Books?
How should you use the words of prayers if you express your condolences to a person of a different faith or an atheist?

The words of grief are different for a believer and a secular person . It is also important who said them - an atheist, an Orthodox Christian, a non-Christian...

If both the sympathizer and the grieving person are atheists or agnostics , then you should not resort to religious rhetoric. Ideas for short phrases of sympathy can be gleaned from the “secular epitaphs” section.
If a relative of the deceased is a believer, but you are not , then briefly addressing the topic of a better life in another world will be correct, but the use of church language will seem false to both Orthodox and Muslims. Phrase ideas can be found in the “religious epitaphs” section.
On the contrary, when the grieving person is an atheist or agnostic, and you are a believer , then an appeal on your part to Christian words of sympathy or to the dogmas of your religion will look like a sincere form of sympathy. Only the measure is important.
If you and the person who suffered the loss are both fellow believers , then turning to common sources, common prayer for the repose of the soul and observing the canonical rites of remembrance are appropriate.

Condolences in verse? In moderation!

Even if the grieving person is a lover of rhyme, the moment of condolences is still the wrong time for self-expression .
If the poetic form of an epitaph is popular, then an obituary in verse is exotic, and condolences pose a risk of being misunderstood.
You can quote a short verse only if it complements and does not replace the condolence itself. For example: - As if Such and such a poet about the Name of the deceased : Quote from a poem .

Death is the final reconciliation

If you harbor a grudge against the deceased, find the strength to forgive . Having cleansed your soul and thoughts of negativity, words of sympathy will sound from the heart, sincerely! If you had a conflict with the deceased, then sincere regret, an apology, and a request for forgiveness will be in order.

Mistakes in expressing condolences

You can't console yourself with the prospect . Pain is here and now, and against its background, turning to the future means either showing your tactlessness, or hurting a loved one, or, at the very least, being unheard or misunderstood. The words are inappropriate: “Everything will be fine...”, “Don’t worry, you’ll get married in a couple of years,” “Everything will pass, and this pain too,” “Time heals...”, “Nothing, you’re young, you’ll give birth again.”
Demonstrate positive circumstances associated with the loss . Examples of tactless phrases: “Be strong, friend! After all, it can also happen (this/worse/more terrible...)”, “It’s good that at least (something worse) didn’t happen”, “The child will have his own room”, “You will have the opportunity to (do this).”
Point at the culprit, “find the last one . For example, “God gave - God took”, “If you... (went to the doctor, got vaccinated, didn’t let him go, listened to the advice..."), “Such doctors should be put on trial,” “Given his lifestyle, it’s not surprising” .
Don't ask how and under what circumstances this happened. This is not the time or place to ask for details.
At these moments you should not talk about any topics not related to your experience . Neither about work, nor about mutual acquaintances, nor on any extraneous topics.
Do not appeal to your experience , even if you have experienced a similar grief. “Girlfriend, I know how hard it is for you, I also lost...”, even if said sincerely, in a moment of grief this can cause rejection.
Intrusive or banal advice , such as “You must live for the sake of...”, “You need to calm down, wait out the time” - all this is stupid and unnecessary in moments of grief.
Don't brag! Mourning is not a time for self-expression. Refrain from mentioning your special relationship with the deceased or how you helped him in life.
A funeral gift cannot be publicly announced . A final gift to the deceased, such as a contribution to funeral services, the making of a monument, a wake, or an obituary, is a noble act, but offering help must be done one-on-one.
You cannot express condolences through social networks. An exception would be condolences regarding the death of a public figure or celebrity. Or as a condolence comment on a post announcing a death.

It is impossible to list all the taboos. Use common sense and a sense of proportion, be sincere, sympathetic and concise. Remember that in a time of sorrow it is better to remain silent and abstain than to talk idle talk or be tactless.

What should you not talk about?

Old grievances - death forgives everything and puts an end to any conflict. Popular wisdom says that only good things can be said about the dead. If you cannot let go of a situation or a conflict, then it is better to limit yourself to a couple of phrases, since if by chance aggression or negativity towards the deceased slips into the words, this can hurt his relatives. Or, even worse, it will cause a scandal.

The text of condolences regarding a death should not contain banal and hackneyed phrases that essentially mean nothing. This is “everything will be fine”, “everything will pass with time”, “you’re young - you’ll give birth”, “soon the pain will subside, it will become easier with time” and so on. Those who have lost loved ones cannot understand all this at the moment, and such phrases will only cause an outbreak of aggression.

There is no need to ask to stop crying or worrying. This will also not resonate. On the contrary, one should support “don’t keep everything to yourself - cry.” Here, tears are the main way to throw out the grief and pain accumulated inside. This really makes it easier. It is much more difficult to experience everything within yourself, which can lead to psychological and even mental illness.

It is not worth mentioning such banal things as age - “he was already old,” “he was sick for so long that death is liberation.” You will cause deep pain to your relatives. Especially if these are condolences for the death of mom or dad. It's hard to lose parents at any age. These are the closest people whose support and love we need at any age.