Funeral words: example of speech, what is permissible to say in such cases

Silence during a wake is normal. Don't try to fill the pause with empty words. But sometimes it’s still worth paying tribute to the departed. In this case, it is necessary to choose the right memorial words - those that will not sound too pretentious, but can truly characterize the person and honor his memory. Listen to what is said at the funeral and create your own memorable speech.

Rules for a funeral speech

Funeral words are not just banal expressions characteristic of some holiday. You are expected to be respectful and concise, and to speak from the heart. You should not memorize the text at home, but it is advisable to at least roughly think through your words first. Add a little improvisation to make it sincere, but prepare the main points in a quiet environment. Think about what you want to say.

The ideal words for a wake should be:

concise, precise;
positive (any bad quality, even well-known to everyone, can be presented from an unexpected angle or played up, but it is better to omit it);
specific - speak only when you have something to say.

They will understand you if the funeral speech at the wake is not told in one breath with the given expression. If your feelings are overwhelming, you can cry or allow additional manifestations of emotions. The person passed away quite recently, and you are naturally depressed - this is a completely adequate state. It is unfair to demand perfect funeral words from a mother who has lost a child, or from a newly made widow.

The main goal of a memorial speech is to revive warm memories of the deceased. Therefore, choose a special incident from your life associated with this person. Try to accurately recreate all the emotions you felt at that moment. This will help you convey the personal qualities of the deceased.

There are no ideal people. But you can always turn even controversial, well-known qualities into positive ones:

They say about a strict person: “Helped me to become the best of the best”;
About the carefree: “He knew the value of life and tried to live it in such a way that he would never regret a boring and gray life”;
About the greedy: “I tried to ensure a decent old age for myself and my loved ones”;
About the trusting: “He saw only the best in people, always helped them and never refused anyone - this is what we should all learn from him”;
About the stubborn: “He always went forward, did not bend under the weight of circumstances”;
About the dreamer: “I wanted to see only the best side of the world, gave people goodness and hope that someday all the bad things will pass.”

Remember that a funeral speech at a wake is usually delivered while standing. It’s not scary if the words at the funeral are interrupted by tears or your legs begin to tremble. No one will judge you for this. The most important thing is to convey to people the importance of the mission of the deceased on Earth. Make sure that they believe you, so that everyone understands how close you were. But at the same time, do not “pull the blanket” over yourself. Give everyone the opportunity to speak - guests have the same right to this as you.

Add to your story words that the deceased often said.
It wouldn’t hurt to remember a person’s favorite book and quote from it a few phrases that you think best describe his character.
Choose the most correct and restrained expressions.

You can end your speech at the wake (40 days) with an epitaph that reflects the personality of the deceased. Choose the most appropriate phrase. If the person was a believer, then God can be mentioned, but for an atheist this option would be inappropriate. By doing this, you will not only insult the memory of the deceased, but also offend those present - loved ones and relatives who respected the person’s choice.

If you have a penchant for writing poetry, then use it. But there should be a moderate amount of rhyme. If funeral words are spoken alone with someone close, then poetry is inappropriate. At the table, it is possible to mention a few lines that also fit the description of the character.

But the less rhyme, the better. She often sounds vulgar, which ruins the ceremony. If you really want to amaze everyone with your talent, help me come up with an epitaph for the monument. Or you can successfully weave rhyming lines into the text by making comparisons.

If you want to help the relatives and friends of the deceased in another way (for example, financially), then do not announce this at the table. First of all, it sounds conceited. Secondly, all sincerity immediately disappears. It will be much more pleasant and meaningful to people if you personally approach them and offer help.

Personally, you can say much more, mention what cannot be said in front of guests for some reason. In addition, you don’t have to wait until the ceremony itself to make such requests for help. Most likely, your help will be needed for the funeral. Your loved ones will warmly appreciate your concern for the departed.

Words of grief over the death of a daughter/son

Condolences on the death of a daughter/son

The death of a child is a tragic test that befalls a person. The only way to ease the suffering of parents in the event of the loss of a son or daughter is to express words of support and condolences to the grieving father and mother.

A person experiencing grief is in a state of passion. His psycho-emotional state is unstable. Most often, any condolences either fall on deaf ears, or are perceived sharply. In order not to hurt the feelings of grieving parents, you need to be sincere and carefully consider the words spoken.

Incorrectly chosen phrases can offend parents who have lost a child, increase the feeling of loss, and cause aggression or hysteria.

If a person who wants to support the relatives of the deceased in a moment of sadness shows maximum participation, says warm words, expresses moral support, he will be able to normalize the state of the mourners.

What words should you not say?

There are words that are absolutely inappropriate when expressing condolences to someone who has lost a son or daughter. These include:

Don't despair, dry your tears. There is nothing more offensive for a mother and father whose child has died to hear instructions. The guest will be perceived as a tactless, indifferent, rude person.
Time heals, everything will get better. Simple phrases used to support grieving people are not particularly relevant when expressing condolences to a mother or father who has lost a child. The pain in the souls of parents does not subside after many years.
Young, you will give birth again. Such words are openly offensive for a mother whose child has died. Those who are experiencing loss will perceive the phrase as indifferent, complete indifference to the grief that has occurred.
I'm exhausted. Such words are spoken about a person who has been ill for a long time, hinting at the end of his torment. Regardless of how the deceased had to die, such condolences will seem rude and tactless to those who are grieving.
Thank God that they themselves are alive. It’s good that the second child is healthy. There is nothing positive about the death of a child. The alternative does not ease the grief.
This, unfortunately, happens. People are losing someone. You can't escape fate. This is a statement of fact. Information is known to others, but that does not make it valuable. A grieving mother and father do not care about others. They are concerned about their own loss of their beloved child. Such words will be perceived negatively.
The reason for everything..., if not... It makes no sense to look for the fault of other people or circumstances. In grief, one learns to forgive and let go. Words of condemnation will not alleviate the condition of bereaved parents. On the contrary, they will cause an influx of emotions and upset you.
You need to be strong for the sake of other children. Don't forget that you have a husband/wife. Everyone is suffering, hang in there. Such words instead of condolences will not bring the desired result. Until the psycho-emotional state is restored, it is pointless to hope for the reasonable behavior of parents who have lost their own son/daughter.
There will be no more children's laughter in this house. A phrase showing the hopelessness of the situation sounds like a sentence.

If a person doubts his own abilities to express sincere condolences, he should prepare in advance, draw up a rough speech plan, or limit himself to one phrase.

Examples of comforting phrases for a mother/father who has lost a son/daughter.

If necessary, you can use a ready-made form of condolences or compose your own speech based on it.

There are no words on earth to describe the sorrow of losing a child. Be strong.
The best always leave too early. Be strong.
Sometimes the young should wait and let the old ones pass. Sincere condolences from us.
He may not have lived long, but we will remember every day spent next to him. May the Lord help you bear the burden of inconsolable grief.
My condolences and grief. Count on my help.
This is a great loss for everyone. We are experiencing grief with you.
A son/daughter, an angel, your flesh and blood, a part of your heart and soul, has left you. Nothing compares to such a loss. Our condolences.
Your grief is incomprehensible. Please accept our condolences. We pray for peace.
It’s hard for you now, I can’t express in words how much it is. But you are not alone in your grief. Count on help and support from those around you.
No one knew your son or daughter better than you, but in the memory of people he/she will forever remain kind, young and cheerful. Our condolences.
Please accept our sincere condolences. Your loss shocked the entire team. If you need help, we will be happy to respond. Be strong.
It's scary to realize that this is the truth and not an absurd mistake. Please accept my sincere words of condolences.
Your son/daughter was a ray of light in this dark world. We all miss him/her.
This is impossible to realize. This cannot be tolerated. May God give you faith, strength and patience.

You might be interested in:


Condolences	What do they say at funerals?	How to support someone who is grieving

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Features of the wake

The person who was closest to the deceased (husband/wife) usually speaks first. Next come parents and children, grandchildren, other relatives, close friends, acquaintances. If for some reason a person cannot speak, then the next one speaks.

The leader of the funeral should also be close to the deceased. This will allow him to be on the same emotional level with other guests, and, if necessary, to support and fill pauses.

Funeral service for 2 years after death

ONLY YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS AND RELATIVES ARE PRESENT

A memorial meal for two years after death is not considered obligatory, but you will probably decide to honor the memory of the deceased on this day. Usually only the closest friends and relatives of the deceased are invited to this dinner. A funeral service for two years can be arranged either in a cafe or at your home.

A SPECIAL METHOD OF SERVING THE TABLE

In any case, such a meal is not an ordinary feast; it involves special dishes and a way of setting the table. Church canons recommend not serving alcohol at a funeral meal, but in fact, few funerals are complete without alcohol - red wine, strong drinks.

KUTIA WITH RAISINS AND HONEY

The main dish at the funeral dinner is kolivo, a porridge made from whole grains of wheat or rice with raisins and honey. The funeral meal itself begins with such a dish; everyone who comes to remember the deceased tries it. for two years at . Pancakes, syta (kanun), compote or berry jelly are also mandatory on the funeral menu.

ON THE FUNERAL TABLE FOR TWO YEARS THEY PUT:

cold appetizers - vinaigrette, cheese and sausage slices, salad;
fish dishes - salted herring, fish pies;
hot meat food - borscht, roast, pies;
Gingerbread cookies, gingerbread cookies, sweets, and pies are suitable as sweets.

FUNERAL DINNER: WE WILL DO EVERYTHING WITH DIGNITY AND QUALITY

The loss of a loved one is always a difficult test for relatives, because in addition to bitter experiences, they have to deal with a large number of events, including organizing a funeral.

If you need to hold a funeral, we will be glad to help you!

General network phone number - 8-812-920-56-46

You can hold an event in one of eleven halls:

Banquet hall "Borisov" (Budapestskaya str. 8, building 4)
“Funeral meal” (Gzhatskaya, 9)
“Funeral meal” (Yuri Gagarin Ave., 37)
“Funeral meal” (Pyatiletok Ave. 8, building 1)
“Funeral meal” (Toreza, 95)
“Funeral meal” (Nastavnikov, 34)
“Funeral meal” (Veteranov, 16)
“Funeral meal” (15th line of Vasilyevsky Island, 76)
“Funeral meal” (Pargolovo, Pacific, 10, building 1)
“Funeral meal” (Polytechnicheskaya, 17, building 3)
“Funeral meal” (Gakkelevskaya, 22, building 1)
“Funeral meal” (Nepokorennykh Ave., 74)
“Funeral meal” (2 Ekaterininsky Ave.)
“Funeral meal” (Kazanskaya st., 45)
“Funeral meal” (Kurskaya st., 24)
“Funeral meal” (Kolpino, Tverskaya st., 1/13)
“Funeral meal” (Bolshoi Sampsonievsky Prospekt, 80)
“Funeral meal” (Varshavskaya, 98)

As soon as the funeral ceremony at the cemetery ends, your guests will be seated in comfortable agency buses and transported free of charge to one of these establishments.

To do this, the total amount of the funeral dinner must be at least 20,000 rubles.

Call 8-812-920-56-46 - and you will be spared the hassle of a funeral dinner.

We also organize catering at your home; we can hold a ceremony not only according to Orthodox, but also according to other rituals.

All cafes in our network are consecrated.