Basics of Orthodoxy. To help those who come to the temple. Part one. First steps in the temple (Collection, 2018)

Behavior in the Temple

An Orthodox church is a place of God’s special presence on Earth. You need to behave reverently in church, so as not to offend the greatness of the shrine, and not to incur the wrath of God. You must arrive to the service in advance, 5-10 minutes in advance. When entering, cross yourself and make a bow from the waist. Upon entering, men remove their hats. Women enter the temple with their heads covered and dressed according to their gender, having wiped off their lipstick. Clothing must be decent and neat. In the temple you cannot speak in a loud voice, keep your hands in your pockets, or chew gum. You should not walk around the temple unless necessary. You need to light candles and venerate icons in such a way as not to disturb other worshipers. Conversations in the temple should be limited to the limit. Briefly greet acquaintances, postponing conversations for later. When you come to church with children, you should not allow them to run around, play pranks and laugh. You should try to calm a crying child; if this fails, you should leave the temple with the child. You can only sing along with the choir very quietly. During public singing, do not allow “disorderly screaming.” Sitting in the temple is allowed only due to illness or severe fatigue. You cannot sit with your legs crossed. If everyone praying kneels, you need to join them. Smoking is not allowed on the church porch. You cannot enter the temple with animals or birds. It is unacceptable to walk and talk while reading the Gospel, singing the “Cherubic” and the Eucharistic canon at the liturgy (from the Creed to the “Our Father”). At this time, it is also undesirable to light candles and venerate icons. You need to reprimand a neighbor who has violated the rules of good behavior quietly and delicately. It is better to refrain from making comments altogether, unless, of course, there is an insolent, hooligan action. Finally, you need to stay in the church until the service is completely over. You can leave ahead of time only due to infirmity or serious necessity. “Brother”, “sister” - the best way to address the laity. We are all children of the One God and descendants of Adam and Eve. “Father” or “father” is how priests are called as performers of the sacraments through which people are born to spiritual life. Usually after the words “father” a name is added, for example, “Father Peter.” You can address a deacon as “Father Deacon”, and the rector of a church as “Father Superior”. Top

Church note

If you want the memorial note you submitted to the altar to be read carefully and slowly, remember the rules:

1. Write in clear, understandable handwriting, preferably in block letters, trying to mention no more than 10 names in one note. 2. Title it “On Health” or “On Repose.” With the image of a cross. 3. Write names in the genitive case (the question “who”?). 4. Use the full form of the name, even if you remember children (for example, not Seryozha, but Sergius). 5. Find out the church spelling of secular names (for example, not Polina, but Apollinaria; not Artem, but Artemy; not Egor, but George). 6. Before the names of clergy, indicate their rank, in full or in an understandable abbreviation (for example, Priest Peter, Archbishop Nikon). 7. A child under 7 years old is called a baby, from 7 to 15 years old - an adolescent. 8. There is no need to indicate the last names, patronymics, titles, professions of those mentioned and their degree of relationship in relation to you. 9. It is allowed to include in the note the words “warrior”, “monk”, “nun”, “sick”, “travelling”, “prisoner”. 10. On the contrary, there is no need to write “lost”, “suffering”, “embarrassed”, “student”, “grieving”, “maiden”, “widow”, “pregnant”. 11. In funeral notes about (the deceased within 40 days after death), “the eternally memorable” (the deceased who have memorable dates on this day), “the murdered.” 12. There is no need to pray for those whom the Church has glorified as saints (for example, Blessed Xenia).

Only those with Christian names and baptized in the Orthodox Church are remembered for health and repose at the liturgy :

• For proskomedia - the first part of the liturgy, when for each name indicated in the note, particles are taken from special prosphoras, which are subsequently dipped into the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of those commemorated; • At mass - this is what people call the liturgy in general, and the commemoration of it in particular. Usually such notes are read by clergy and clergy before the Holy See; • At the litany - remembrance for all to hear. It is usually performed by a deacon. At the end of the liturgy, these notes are commemorated a second time in many churches, at services. • You can also submit a note for a prayer service or memorial service .

In some churches, in addition to the usual notes about health and repose, custom notes are accepted. A custom mass for health with a prayer service differs from the usual commemoration of health in that, in addition to removing a particle from the prosphora (which happens during a regular commemoration), the deacon publicly reads the names of those commemorated on litany, and then these names are repeated by the priest before the throne. But even this is not the end of the commemoration according to the ordered note - after the end of the liturgy, a prayer is offered for them at a prayer service. The same thing happens at a custom-made mass of repose with a memorial service - and here, after removing the particles with the names of the deceased, the deacon publicly pronounces their names at the litany, then the names are repeated in front of the altar by the clergyman, and then the deceased are remembered at the memorial service, which takes place after the end of the liturgy .

A prayer service is a special divine service in which they ask the Lord, the Mother of God, and the saints to send mercy or thank God for receiving benefits. In the church, prayer services are performed before and after the liturgy, as well as after Matins and Vespers.

Sorokoust is a prayer service that is performed by the Church daily for forty days. Every day during this period, particles are removed from the prosphora. “Sorokousts,” writes St. Simeon of Thessalonica, - are performed in remembrance of the Ascension of the Lord, which happened on the fortieth day after the resurrection, - and with the purpose that he (the deceased), having risen from the grave, ascended to the meeting (that is, to meet - ed.) of the Judge, was raptured to the clouded, and so he was always with the Lord.” Sorokousts are ordered not only for repose, but also for health, especially for seriously ill people.

Church commemoration is performed only for those who were baptized in the Orthodox faith. Memorial services for suicides, as well as for those not baptized in the Orthodox faith, are not performed. Top

Candle

What does a person do first when he crosses the threshold of the temple? Nine times out of ten, it goes to the candle box. Our practical Christianity and initiation into the ritual begins with a small wax candle. It is impossible to imagine an Orthodox church in which candles are not lit... The interpreter of the liturgy, Blessed Simeon of Thessaloniki (XV century), says that pure wax means the purity and innocence of the people bringing it. It is offered as a sign of our repentance for perseverance and self-will. The softness and pliability of wax speaks of our willingness to obey God. The burning of a candle means the deification of a person, his transformation into a new creature through the action of the fire of Divine love. In addition, a candle is a testimony of faith, a person’s involvement in the Divine light. It expresses the flame of our love for the Lord, the Mother of God, angels or saints. You cannot light a candle formally, with a cold heart. External action must be complemented by prayer, even the simplest one, in your own words. A lit candle is present in many church services. It is held in the hands of those newly baptized and those united in the sacrament of marriage. Among many burning candles, the funeral service is performed. Covering the candle flame from the wind, pilgrims go to the religious procession. There are no mandatory rules about where and how many candles to place. Their purchase is a small sacrifice to God, voluntary and not burdensome. An expensive large candle is not at all more beneficial than a small one. Those who regularly visit the temple try to light several candles each time: • to the festive icon lying on the lectern in the middle of the church; • to the image of the Savior or the Mother of God - about the health of your loved ones; • to the Crucifixion on a rectangular table-candlestick (eve) - about the repose of the dead. If your heart desires, you can light a candle to any saint or saints. Sometimes it happens that there is no free space in the candlestick in front of the icon; everyone is occupied by burning candles. Then you shouldn’t put out another candle for the sake of your own; it’s more appropriate to ask the minister to light it at a good time. And don’t be embarrassed that your half-burnt candle was extinguished at the end of the service - the sacrifice has already been accepted by God. There is no need to listen to conversations that : • a candle should be placed only with the right hand; • if it goes out, it means there will be misfortunes; • melting the lower end of the candle for stability in the hole is a mortal sin, etc. There are many superstitions around the church, and they are all meaningless. God is pleased with a wax candle. But He values the burning of the heart more. Our spiritual life and participation in worship are not limited to a candle. By itself, it will not free you from sins, will not unite you with God, and will not give you strength for invisible warfare. The candle is full of symbolic meaning, but it is not the symbol that saves us, but the true essence - Divine grace. Top

Fundamentals of Orthodoxy

What God has joined together, let no man separate. Mk. 10:9

July 8 is the day of remembrance of the holy faithful Prince Peter and Princess Fevronia. This is truly a role model in the matter of family relationships. An example of purity, devotion and love in God. Priest Pavel Gumerov reflects on the topic.

A wedding or marriage celebration has always been considered the culmination of human joy and happiness. It is not for nothing that the Lord Jesus Christ in the Gospel parables, speaking about the joy and bliss of the Kingdom of Heaven, so often turns to the image of a wedding feast, a wedding meal.

And our Russian fairy tales usually end with a “feast and a wedding.” “And they began to live, live well and make good things.” Moreover, not only material goodness, but also spiritual goodness, kindness, affection and love for each other.

Almost every girl dreams of a wedding; Any young man, even the most frivolous, thinks of eventually becoming the head of the family, of seeing the continuation of his family in his children and grandchildren.

Let's imagine a wedding. A cortege of cars festively decorated with ribbons and flowers takes the newlyweds to the church. Solemn wedding. Corresponding to the importance and sacramentality of the moment, “the groom is very serious, and the bride is dazzlingly young” and beautiful in her snow-white dress with a veil. Her mother secretly cries with joy for the newlyweds. After the wedding, the priest speaks heartfelt words about the joy of family life and mutual responsibility before God and each other. The secular official part is also very solemn: the groom’s parents are secular people, and therefore they had to pay tribute to them, “so that everything would be like people’s.” The traditional Mendelssohn march in the registry office, champagne, kisses, and the groom carries the bride in his arms to the car.

How many songs have been written about weddings, how many customs and rituals there are around this event! Comic kidnapping of the bride, ransom of the young and much, much more.

And, of course, the wedding feast. Shouts: “Bitter!”, warm words, tears of joy. True, from my own experience I know that newlyweds want the noisy festive fun to end as soon as possible and they will finally be left alone.

And how many toasts and wishes are said at weddings: And “more children”, and “the house is a full cup”, and “advice and love”. In general, everything is as it should be. And it seems to everyone that these young people will definitely live happily ever after and die one day. And the newlyweds themselves are firmly convinced of this, that ordinary problems will not affect them: routine and everyday life will not destroy their feelings, an insidious homewrecker or a third-wheel will not appear. After all, they love each other so much!

The wedding is traditionally followed by a honeymoon. It can happen in different ways. Someone goes to holy places - this is an old, pre-revolutionary tradition. For example, I.S. After his marriage, Shmelev visited the Valaam monastery with his young wife and then described his journey. Some prefer a pleasure tour to warmer climes: Turkey, Egypt or Crimea. Sometimes newlyweds simply spend time in solitude in a suburban “hacienda” near Moscow. All this is not so important, the main thing is that they are together and happy together. Young people have almost no problems, they enjoy life, everything suits them in each other, they seem nice and funny, they absolutely do not see any shortcomings. “And it will always be like this!” - they think.

But now the honeymoon passes, everyday life begins. Work, worries, daily cooking, cleaning and laundry. And the first problems appear. A young husband and wife both usually work or study, and sometimes both. And so the husband goes home from work, tired after a day of work, and thinks: “I work from morning to evening, I am the breadwinner of the family, I need a break from worries. Now when I come home, my wife will greet me with a hot, delicious dinner; I’ll take a newspaper, read, or just lie down on the sofa, sleep, and then I’ll watch a very interesting match on TV, because today is the semi-final of the World Cup!” He comes home and sees that there is no one at home, and a little later his wife comes and says that she was late at work: she had to finish the annual report. The husband endures all this for now, takes dumplings out of the refrigerator and begins to silently cook them, but the evening is already ruined: not only a hot dinner, but he didn’t even find a wife at home who should meet him, hug and caress him. And the wife sees the situation in her own way: “I work not only at work, but also, when I come home from work, I work at home: I cook, wash dishes, clean, that is, I just spin all day like a squirrel in a wheel. I need rest too. I want my husband to come home and appreciate all this. If he doesn’t give flowers every evening, then at least a chocolate bar, and then he would sit next to me, and I would start telling him what happened that day, I would start sharing my experiences, and then he would tell me something interesting and funny history. But instead he tries to lie down on the sofa or turn on the TV, and maybe I myself want to watch it.” At first, the spouses do not create scandals, they accumulate irritation and resentment within themselves, but the alienation grows like a crack in the ice. Further - more, and after a while each begins to be irritated in the other by what previously seemed sweet and pleasant: some not quite correct facial features, habits. Something that was not noticed at all before now causes bouts of irritation. For example, when a wife brushes her teeth, she squeezes the paste out of the tube from the end, carefully rolling it into a tube, and her husband presses it in the middle. This is terrible! The husband cuts the bread, holding it in weight, and the wife only by placing it on the cutting board. And so on. And the first quarrels begin, in which everyone naturally tries to shift the blame onto the other, to justify themselves: “How do you cook borscht? My mother never cooked it like this” - “How do you hammer nails?! Are your hands inserted at the wrong end, or what?” - “And you, woman, will teach me to do a man’s work?” - “Yes, your mother never knew how to cook!” - “Your whole family is a bunch of incompetents and losers!”...

Women in general really like to generalize everything. After such “showdowns,” the husband increasingly stays late at work, and when he returns home, he smells of alcohol. And the wife generally thinks that this whole wedding is the biggest mistake in her life, and why didn’t she accept the proposal of her college friend Vitya, because he loved her so much, wanted to get married, and she refused him for the sake of this insensitive cracker and loser.

And spouses who have lived together for very little, just a few years, increasingly remember where their passports are in order to take them and go to the place where recently they exchanged rings to the Mendelssohn march, but now in order to put passports have a completely different fatal stamp - “The marriage was dissolved on such and such a date...”

But everything could have been completely different. After all, our young people had feelings for each other, at first they felt good together, no one interfered with their happiness. What did they do wrong and why did their marriage fail? Why, after several years of marriage, instead of loving people, there were two people in the same apartment, united only by a shared living space and children (if any). This is what one friend of mine said: my husband and I have only our children left in common.

Let's try to find answers to these important questions.

The Bible says about a husband and wife: “And the two shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). And the Savior says: “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Mark 10:9). What is united in marriage should not be destroyed by our selfishness, inertia, laziness and irritability. These words of Holy Scripture about the unity of two in one body (flesh) of marriage express the meaning and purpose of marriage. To become no longer two separate people, but a single organism. One soul and body. Come to unanimity and unity. And that is why marriage is always a sacrament, even when the spouses are not yet ready for the wedding. Any legal marriage is a secret; there is something sacramental and mystical in it. After all, two sometimes completely different individuals, with their own habits, external physical data, life experience, heredity, must become one, and this union is higher and stronger than blood kinship. After all, between parents and children there is a first degree of relationship (one), and between spouses there is a zero degree (zero); they are closer relatives than parents and children. This is reflected in civil legislation. For example, when receiving an inheritance, spouses are heirs of the first priority, and children are only heirs of the second.

So is this unity, this family happiness possible in our time, or does it only happen in fairy tales? Life in a family, in marriage, is an entire art, it is learned throughout one’s life; smart spouses always take advantage even from mistakes in order to improve their relationship, and these difficulties not only do not destroy their marriage, but cement it even more firmly. It's time to finally start thinking about the most important things in life; you can't live by inertia. You need to read books, consult with family experts, priests, and reflect on your own married life. Many, of course, learn this science in childhood, following the good example of their parents. Well, what if there wasn’t such a good example, if you weren’t taught in childhood, if you weren’t given an example of a strong, friendly family? This means that you yourself need to comprehend this difficult science and engage in self-education.

Archpriest Maxim Kozlov, rector of the Church of the Martyr Tatiana at Moscow State University, a man who works a lot with young people, once made an interesting remark that when preparing for marriage, people think about anything: what style of wedding dress and suit to choose, what kind of engagement ring to buy rings, where the wedding feast will take place, that is, about things that, by and large, have no meaning, and do not think at all about what we want from our marriage and each other, how we will build our relationship and how we can make each other friend happy. And both the bride and groom, as well as mature spouses, need to think about these questions.

Now I will give a number of words that can be combined under one common name. Ship, fire, house, work, teapot, tree, struggle, body, decision, flower, sacrifice, team. What do these words have in common, you ask? Well, except that a tree and a flower are plants, and everything else has no connection with each other. But the fact is that all these words are names, images, if you like - allegories of family life. And using their example, we will try to understand what family life is, how to tune in to it and how to avoid the most common mistakes.

Getting ready for married life

Let's start with the fact that the family can be called a body. After all, a family is a small Church, an image of the catholic and apostolic Church, and one of the definitions of the Church is the body of Christ. The task of the church body, both large and small, is the salvation of its members. We gathered in a small family Church to be saved together. I once held a conversation about family and marriage, during which the question was discussed: why do people start a family? Different opinions were expressed. And one of my acquaintances, who was present during the conversation, made an interesting remark: “For some reason, no one said that people get married in order to be saved, because it is easier to go to God together.” Indeed, the path becomes easier when there is a good travel companion on the road. It is easier (and not always) to live alone, but not to save the soul. In marriage, in the family, we have a very great incentive to fight our selfishness, pride, bad habits and bad character. We can help each other, bear each other's burdens, and - most importantly - in marriage we can fully fulfill the commandment to love our neighbor.

Comparing marriage to the body makes clear the unity of the family. Spouses in a family must interact and submit to a common goal. Here is a man walking along the road, he has two legs. What happens if one leg wants to go to the right and the other to the left? That's right, the pedestrian will fall down in the middle of the road. The Apostle Paul compares the Church with the body, which can also be applied to the family: “The eye cannot say to the hand: “I have no need of you”; or also head to feet: “I don’t need you.” On the contrary, the members of the body that seem weakest are much more needed.” And further he notes: “If one member suffers, all members suffer with it; if one member is glorified, all the members rejoice with it” (1 Cor. 12:21-22).

Priest Alexy Grachev gave them this instruction at the wedding of my friends. He compared marriage to a ship and the sea. Family life is like sailing on the sea, where there is not always a fair breeze; the sea can be calm or even stormy. But if spouses love each other and go through this voyage with God, they have nothing to fear. Indeed, “living life is not a field to cross”; anything can happen on a journey through the “sea of life”. After all, our love, our feelings for each other can undergo serious tests. After a stormy period of falling in love, cooling and indifference (calm) may begin. Love can be compared to faith; in faith there are also often doubts, lack of faith, and lukewarmness. Patience and determination to kindle within oneself the gift of faith and love at all costs helps one to survive these temptations. In family life, there may be periods of intense passion, strong mutual attraction, and times of cooling of feelings, and conflict situations. Here it is time to remember that family life and marital love have another name - decision. The most important thing in marriage is, of course, love, no one will deny this. Otherwise, it is no longer a marriage, but legalized cohabitation. People create a family for love. But, as already mentioned, any family faces many trials and turmoil. Circumstances change, we ourselves change, even the human body is renewed every seven years. So, if the spouses, entering into marriage, do not make a firm and irrevocable decision to love, despite all the troubles of life, the temporary cooling of feelings, the not always worthy behavior of a loved one, the presence of tempting temptations from the outside, then we can say with confidence that the boat of their love is very poorly prepared for a family voyage and is unlikely to sail to the end. And vice versa, if a person decides to love no matter what and, having made his choice once and for all, will no longer consider anyone as a candidate for the role of wife (or spouse), such a family man will no longer be tormented by empty doubts, but will arrange his own family life. Another name for married life comes in handy here: struggle. But the struggle, of course, is not between spouses, which, unfortunately, is often observed. No, this is a different battle. The struggle for love, the struggle, first of all, with oneself, the rekindling of the gift of love in oneself, the war against temptations and, of course, against the enemy of the human race - the devil, whose task is to quarrel between spouses and ruin their marriage. Therefore, “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Eph. 6:12).

Love will not exist without our efforts; it can be compared to a fire or hearth. Once upon a time, our forefathers did not have matches or lighters. Fire was of great value, and it was not so easy to start it. And there were special guardians of the fire, the hearth, those on duty who did not let the fire go out. They put brushwood and logs in it, constantly preserving and supporting it.

We all really miss sunshine. Our country has little sunshine, and this, by the way, greatly affects the mood of its residents. In countries where there are many sunny days a year (in Brazil, for example), people suffer much less from depression and despondency. And spouses should become sunshine for each other. Create a sunny, joyful mood in the family, give others smiles, tenderness, comfort and support. And, of course, don’t forget to thank your loved ones for everything they do for us.

It has already been observed that a person undergoes changes throughout life. And life in the family, the relationship between spouses should not stand still. If they do not develop or have positive dynamics, there is a high risk that crises, age-related changes and other life circumstances will damage the family ship.

For many married couples, at the beginning of their journey, life resembles a boiling kettle. There is a fire burning under it, it is boiling, seething, people are in love with each other, passions are boiling, and it seems to them that it will be like this forever. But then it was as if someone had put out the fire under the kettle. And now it boils less, then the water begins to cool, first +70, +50 C°, and then completely becomes room temperature. The fire went out, and all passions and feelings cooled down. But everything should be exactly the opposite. The bride and groom enter into marriage having certain initial feelings, the fire of family life is lit, and every year, with every new period of life, the feelings of the spouses, their love grows, its degree increases, they get to know each other better, discover something new, and their love eventually reaches its boiling point.

Love before marriage can be compared to a seed from a tree (for example, an apple tree). The young people plant it, a sprout emerges from it, which grows larger and stronger every year and then turns into a beautiful tree and begins to bear fruit.

Marriage is comparable to a flower or plant. A flower needs care, daily watering, attention, and if you don’t water it for at least a few days, it will wither and dry out. I think everyone has had the opportunity to wander through a beautiful, well-kept garden, enjoying the beauty and aroma of magnificent flowers and trees. But every garden has its own gardeners. And if the garden is left without care, it will die. Flowers will wither, trees will become wild over time and will no longer bear fruit or their fruits will become tasteless.

Love, married life is daily, painstaking work, work, but work also brings great joy and satisfaction. What is not given with difficulty is often not appreciated. Anyone who has ever worked in construction knows how hard work it is. Several years ago I started building a house on my six hundred square meters, and since there was little money, I had to go into debt and do a lot myself. For the first two years I worked like a convict, and sometimes the thought came to me why I even started all this. We had to be patient. Finally, the house was completed, and although, of course, there were all sorts of finishing touches left (construction is a permanent process), already in the third year I reaped the benefits, rejoiced at a job well done, and our whole family happily lived in the new house from May to September.

It's the same in marriage. At the beginning there is a stormy process of building a family. You need to endure a lot, learn a lot, endure considerable difficulties. This usually occurs in the first three years of marriage. Unfortunately, many spouses cannot withstand the difficulties of the first years; they want everything at once, and their marriage falls apart. In the first years, the foundation of a marriage is laid, relationships are built, people get to know each other better, get used to each other, smooth out character irregularities, and come to a compromise.

It takes a team to build a family home. "There is safety in numbers". Therefore, a family can be compared to a group of people united by one common cause and goal. Family is a team. The most important thing in a team is coordination of actions, the desire to win and subordination to the leader, the captain. The captain is, of course, the head of the family, the husband. But the team will only win when its members obey him not out of fear, but out of conscience, and he will be an authority for them. And, of course, everyone on the team strives for victory; they “need one victory, one for all.” If one of the team members thinks only about himself, and not about the team and the overall victory, this will lead to defeat. For example, if the rowers on one side of the boat row harder and faster than the people on the other side, the boat will spin in place; we need coordination and unity. Personal ambitions, egoism, and self-exaggeration are not needed in the team. To achieve unity in a team, all team members need mutual respect and the ability to listen to each other. And also the ability to voice your wishes, your vision of the situation. In a word, you need to be able to discuss the most pressing problems and come to a solution together.

And in conclusion, I would like to give another image of family life - sacrifice. You will never achieve unity and harmony in a marriage unless you learn to sacrifice a lot for the sake of peace in the family, for the sake of loved ones. Marriage is about overcoming your ego. I lived alone, my behavior suited me quite well, and when I got married, it turned out that it was impossible to live the way I lived in marriage. You can’t do only what you want, you need it to be pleasant and useful to everyone, you need to correct character traits that are unpleasant to your neighbor. The wonderful gospel principle: “So in everything that you want people to do to you, do so to them” (Matthew 7:12) - must be implemented, first of all, in your own family life. In the family, it is also necessary to learn the ability to subordinate one’s desires to the common cause. Married life is not about “how I want”, but how we want, how to make everyone feel good about it. After all, spouses are no longer different people, but a single whole. It is very important to no longer live by our own interests, but to try to get to know better what our half lives and breathes, to find common interests, topics for conversation, and points of contact.

Sacrifice also means the ability to take the blame upon oneself, to understand, first of all, what my mistake is, and not to try to change and remake someone. In an effort to remake, reforge under some invented ideal image of our neighbor, this is the main cause of marital conflicts. Instead of loving and accepting a person with his strengths and weaknesses, people very often try to re-educate their spouse, without noticing that they themselves are far from ideal. Changing someone is a completely empty exercise. You cannot change a person's way of thinking. You can only change yourself and influence him with our love.

Having learned what the main components of a happy family life are, let’s return to our newlyweds. Remember, at the beginning it was about a young couple who could not come to an agreement in their life together and almost broke up? Let's have a little debriefing and try, based on everything said above, to understand what their mistakes were, why they failed to save and preserve their family?

"Debriefing"

Let's start with the fact that our imaginary young spouses did not have time to grow their love at all. They, of course, were in love, had initial mutual feelings, affection, but they did not acquire real love and were unable to preserve even what they had. They just liked being around, it was pleasant to communicate and admire each other. When the joint fun, entertainment and pleasant pastime ended and everyday difficulties began, they were not ready for this. Communication in everyday routine no longer brought much joy. “To love”, to be attached to a person for something: for beautiful eyes, pleasant speeches, strength, dexterity, wealth, etc. – pure selfishness, selfishness. And it is no coincidence that I put the word “love” in quotation marks, because this feeling cannot be called love. This is possessiveness, the desire to satisfy one’s needs at the expense of another, to take advantage of him. And love is not about giving, but about taking. This is the desire to do something yourself for your loved one.

It seemed to each of the newlyweds that anyone but himself was to blame for the conflict situation. “It’s my husband (or spouse) who needs to change: start squeezing the paste out from the right end, cook borscht like my mother, etc.” They forgot or did not know that family life is a lot of work, difficult navigation and there is more than just joy and entertainment in it. And this work must be mutual, teamwork. In marriage, you need to be able to lend your shoulder, not wait for someone to please you and do something nice, but rush to help yourself.

Another mistake the spouses made was that they accumulated grievances within themselves; they did not forgive each other, but accumulated and “salted” discontent and irritation. And when it became unbearable to endure, all this resulted in scandals and quarrels. A husband and wife must be able to talk and communicate on a variety of topics, including not very pleasant ones. Discuss without irritation and shouting how they can build a marriage life that will suit both. Yes, spouses can have very different views on the same problem. For example, our spouses wanted to relax in different ways after work, and this is quite natural. A man needs to be alone for a while, to be silent, a woman, on the contrary, wants communication. But we don’t need to wait for our loved ones to guess our thoughts themselves. And it is quite possible that in a calm discussion the spouses will find a common solution, come to a compromise and agreement.

Of course, coming to unity is work, labor, and young people often don’t want to work, don’t want to wait—maximalism is characteristic of youth. They think that if they get married, then all problems: both family and financial, will be solved easily and quickly. And at the same time, no one wants to work hard.

One of my friends, who just recently got married, had her parents buy an apartment, so she immediately began demanding that her husband’s parents buy them a car. Everyone also wants to receive a house of family happiness on a silver platter, forgetting that we have to build it ourselves.

And finally, the reluctance to build your own family, improve relationships within it, the lack of determination to bear the hardships of family life inevitably lead to the search for “consolations” on the side. Remember, the young husband began to stay late with friends at work and search with them for “the truth in wine.” And the wife began to remember a friend from college with whom she wanted (at least in her dreams) to build an “ideal” family.

When starting family life, you need to firmly decide to cultivate your own family garden, build your own life, and not be tormented by doubts about the correctness of your choice and worry about wasted youth. When a person sets such psychological boundaries and barriers for himself, it will be much easier for him. As they say, “where can we escape from a submarine?” And he will improve his family life, change himself in order to come to unanimity and like-mindedness in marriage.

Our supposed young people were unable to build anything new, learn to love, forgive, and be forgiving of the weaknesses of others. Could they do it? Certainly. They had all the conditions for this.

Unfortunately, we see few happy, friendly, strong families around. But such families do exist. In them, of course, all sorts of things happen: misunderstandings and sometimes conflicts, but there the spouses always remember that they came together for love and harmony. Such families teach others by their example better than dozens of family schools and psychological consultations and hundreds of books on family life.

Things to remember

There are words of Holy Scripture and prayers that it is advisable to know by heart. 1. The Lord's Prayer “Our Father” (Matthew 6:9-13; Luke 11:2-4). 2. The main commandments of the Old Testament (Deut. 6:5; Lev. 19:18). 3. The main gospel commandments (Matt. 5, 3-12; Matt. 5, 21-48; Matt. 6, 1; Matt. 6, 3; Matt. 6, 6; Matt. 6, 14-21; Matt. 6, 24-25; Matthew 7, 1-5; Matthew 23, 8-12; John 13, 34). 4.Symbol of Faith. 5. Morning and evening prayers according to a short prayer book. 6. The number and meaning of the sacraments. The sacraments must not be mixed with rituals. A ritual is any outward sign of reverence that expresses our faith. A sacrament is a sacred act during which the Church calls on the Holy Spirit, and His grace descends on the believers. There are seven such sacraments: Baptism, Confirmation, Communion (Eucharist), Repentance (Confession), Marriage (Wedding), Blessing of Anointing (Unction), Priesthood (Ordination).

How to help your neighbor on his deathbed The ways of the Lord are mysterious. It happens that a person who has lived his entire life without God, on the threshold of death, gains faith and desires to receive Baptism - the very Sacrament about which the Savior said: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God” (John. 3, 5). But there is no priest nearby... In such a situation, the duty of every Orthodox Christian is to perform Baptism “for fear of death.” To do this, you need to wash (sprinkle) the sick person three times with blessed or even ordinary water, while saying: “The servant of God (full Orthodox name) is baptized in the name of the Father. Amen. And the Son. Amen. And the Holy Spirit. Amen". This Baptism is considered valid, and if the patient recovers, it is completed in the church with the sacrament of Confirmation. It is under no circumstances possible to baptize a person who is in an unconscious state against his will, taking advantage of his bodily weakness. The end does not justify the means. It also happens that a person who is baptized but far from the Church, on the verge of death, wants to repent of his sins. And here every Orthodox Christian, of course, if it is completely impossible to call a priest, is obliged to accept the confession of the dying person. Ask about grave sins - murder, abortion, adultery, debauchery in all forms, theft, drunkenness, participation in sects, connections with satanic forces through astrologers, psychics and healers. After confession, the secret of which must be kept until the grave, offer a fervent prayer to God that He will have mercy on the repentant. And if there is the slightest opportunity to call a priest to his deathbed, it is necessary, regardless of any difficulties, to do this good deed.

Why does the Lord allow illnesses? The Lord allows us illnesses, first of all, for sins - for their atonement, for changing a vicious lifestyle, realizing this viciousness and understanding that earthly life is a short moment, behind which there is eternity, and what it will be like for everyone depends from his life on earth. Often children worry about the sins of their parents, so that grief will crush their thoughtless life, make them think and change, cleanse themselves of passions and vices. We also get sick for the sake of our humility and avoidance of evil and disastrous actions. One day Jesus Christ was walking with his disciples, and the apostles saw a man who had been legless from birth. He sat by the road and begged for alms. The disciples asked: “Why does he have no legs?” Christ answered: “If he had legs, he would have crossed the whole earth with fire and sword.” Often the Lord pulls us out of the ordinary course of life with illness, saving us from serious trouble, and delivering us from a larger one with a small nuisance. Many diseases arise from the action of unclean spirits. Moreover, the symptoms of demonic attacks are very similar to natural illness. It is clear from the Gospel that the crumpled woman healed by the Lord (Lk. 13:11-26) was not demon-possessed, but the cause of her illness was the action of an unclean spirit. In such cases, the art of medicine is powerless, and healing is given only by the power of God, expelling the spirit of malice. The Christian attitude towards illness lies in the humble acceptance of the will of God, in the awareness of one’s sinfulness and the sins for which the illness was tolerated; in repentance and life change. Prayer, fasting, almsgiving and other virtues propitiate the Lord, and He sends us healing. If we go to doctors, then we ask for God’s blessing for treatment and trust them with the body, but not the soul. Top

Bible Interpretations

The main book in Orthodoxy is the New Testament. It contains the Gospel, which tells about the earthly life of Jesus Christ, as well as the acts and revelations of the apostles. The New Testament, together with the Old Testament, is part of the Bible. And all the books together are usually called the Holy Scriptures.

To better understand the books of Holy Scripture, it is recommended to read them together with interpretations. The interpretations tell us how to correctly understand the words of Christ and the apostles, as well as the historical era in which the events described took place. For example, what laws and customs existed during the Trial of Christ, what the Roman Empire was like, which opposed the apostles, and other points.

Living with the Gospel. Commentary on the Gospel of Matthew

Interpretation of the Gospel

Interpretation of the Apostolic Lasts

All interpretations

All books of Holy Scripture

Ten Commandments

1. I am the Lord your God; Let you have no other gods before Me.

2. Do not make for yourself an idol or any image of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth below, or that is in the water below the earth; do not worship them or serve them.

3. Do not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy; Six days you shall work and do all your work, and the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God.

5. Honor your father and your mother, [so that it may go well with you and] so that your days on earth may be lengthened.

6. Don't kill.

7. Do not commit adultery.

8. Don't steal.

9. Do not bear false witness against your neighbor.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house; Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his field, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, [nor any of his livestock,] anything that is thy neighbor's. (Ex. 20, 2-17)

The Lord Jesus Christ stated the essence of these commandments as follows: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is similar to it: love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). Top

About the sign of the cross and bows

Even St. Basil the Great wrote: “In the Church, everything is good and in order.” The sign of the cross is a visible evidence of our faith. To find out whether the person in front of you is Orthodox or not, you just need to ask him to cross himself, and by how he does it and whether he does it at all, everything will become clear. Let us remember the Gospel: “He who is faithful in little is also faithful in much” (Luke 16:10). Outwardly, the feeling of prayer is manifested in the overshadowing of oneself with a cross (in Slavic, “sign of the cross,” i.e., the image, sign of a cross), in kneeling and bowing - small (waist) and great (earthly, touching the ground with knees, hands and head). The sign of the cross is made with the right hand. To do this, we connect the first three fingers (fingers) together, and bend the other two - the ring and little fingers - to the palm. With three joined fingers we touch the forehead, the chest, the right and then the left shoulder, depicting a cross on ourselves, and, lowering our hand, we bow. The connection of three fingers means our faith in the Holy Trinity: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit; two bent fingers mean our faith in the Son of God Jesus Christ: that He has two natures - God and man, and for the sake of our salvation He came down from heaven to earth. We place the sign of the cross on our foreheads in order to sanctify our bodily strength and invoke blessings on the works of our hands. The sign of the cross symbolizes the invocation of the name of God and the glorification of God, therefore it is usually performed with the words “In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” or with any other beginning of prayer, and the words “Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” or with some other doxology and at the end of the prayer. How inappropriate it is to call on the name of God in vain, i.e. unnecessarily and irreverently, so the sign of the cross should not be done often and hastily, much less carelessly. When the priest blesses, saying “Peace to all,” one must bow without making the sign of the cross; When we make the sign of the cross, we also place the sign of the cross on ourselves. By bowing we express our reverence for God and repentant feelings. Prostrations to the ground, so frequent on days of repentance and fasting, especially Lent before Easter, are not customary to be performed on days of general spiritual joy - on Sundays, on great holidays, from Easter to the Holy Trinity and from Christmas to Epiphany. Having received the Holy Mysteries of Christ, we do not bow to the ground that day. Kneeling, i.e. kneeling, occurs in the temple during the reading of special kneeling prayers. You need to pray reverently and slowly, with attention and without fuss, for prayer is a conversation with God. If time is short, it is better to read one or two prayers, postponing the rest for a convenient time in the near future. If when reading a book it is important not so much to read it as to think about it, if in an ordinary conversation it is important not only to say, but also to listen to another, then even more so when reading a prayer, you should think about its words and, having said a prayer to God, you need to listen and His answer. Real prayer creates a special mood in the life of a Christian and determines his actions, his behavior, and this is the result of prayer, for it was not in vain that the Lord said: “Not everyone who says to Me: Lord, Lord! “He who does the will of My Father in Heaven will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” (Matt.7:21). Top

Pectoral cross

A pectoral cross
is a visible sign of a person’s membership in the Orthodox Church. The pectoral cross is a testimony of faith and fidelity to Christ. A cross is placed on a person when the Sacrament of entry into the Church - Baptism - is performed on him. After this, the Christian wears it near his heart as an image of the Cross of the Lord - the greatest Christian shrine. The Cross of Christ is a weapon against fallen spirits; It has the power to heal and protect from visible and invisible enemies. But in no case should one treat the pectoral cross as some kind of “amulet”, capable of making a person invulnerable to the forces of evil by its very presence. “Son, give Me your heart,” the Lord calls us in the Gospel. This is the main thing in the life of a Christian - to love your Heavenly Father with all your heart. The pectoral cross testifies to the person’s membership in the Church.

There are canonical forms of crosses - four-, six-, eight-pointed; with a semicircle below and others. In Rus', eight-pointed crosses were traditionally used, on the back of which was the inscription: “Save and preserve.” Saint Demetrius of Rostov wrote: “We venerate the Cross of Christ not by the number of trees, not by the number of ends, but by Christ himself, whose Most Holy Blood was stained with Him. Displaying miraculous power, any cross does not act by itself, but by the power of Christ crucified on it and by invoking His Most Holy Name.”

There are no rules about the material for crosses. They can be made of wood or metal, including gold, as well as precious stones. It makes no difference what you wear the cross on - it can be a chain or braid: the main thing is that the cross is held firmly. The cross should not be removed during washing, sports and other life situations. Lay people wear a cross under their clothes, without showing it off.

There are many superstitions associated with the pectoral cross: supposedly a lost cross portends misfortune; the found cross cannot be lifted; a cross cannot be given as a gift, cannot be worn on a chain, and the like. All such fantasies are absolutely false, and only lead into temptation for those who are just taking their first steps in the Church.

About the post

The Church of Christ commands its children to lead a moderate lifestyle, especially highlighting days and periods of compulsory abstinence - fasting. The Old Testament righteous fasted, and Christ Himself fasted (Matthew 4). Weekly fast days (with the exception of “solid” weeks) are Wednesday and Friday . On Wednesday, fasting was established in memory of the betrayal of Christ by Judas, and on Friday - for the sake of the suffering on the cross and the death of the Savior. On these days it is forbidden to eat meat and dairy foods, eggs, fish (according to the Charter from the Resurrection of St. Thomas until the Feast of the Holy Trinity, fish and vegetable oil can be eaten), and in the period from the Sunday of All Saints (the first Sunday after the Feast of the Trinity) until the Nativity of Christ Wednesdays and Fridays should abstain from fish and vegetable oil.

There are four multi-day fasts a year. The longest and strictest is Lent , which lasts seven weeks before Easter. The strictest of them are the First and the Last, Passionate. This fast was established in memory of the Savior's forty-day fast in the desert.

Close in severity to the Great Assumption Fast , but it is shorter - from August 14 to 27. With this fast, the Holy Church honors the Most Holy Theotokos, Who, standing before God, invariably prays for us. During these strict fasts, fish can be eaten only three times - on the feasts of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary (April 7), the Entry of the Lord into Jerusalem (a week before Easter) and the Transfiguration of the Lord (August 19).

The Nativity fast lasts 40 days, from November 28 to January 6. During this fast, you are allowed to eat fish, except on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. After the feast of St. Nicholas (December 19), fish can only be eaten on Saturdays and Sundays, and the period from January 2 to January 6 must be strictly observed.

Fourth Lent - Holy Apostles (Peter and Paul) . It begins with the Sunday of All Saints and ends on the day of remembrance of the holy supreme apostles Peter and Paul - July 12. The regulations on nutrition during this Lent are the same as during the first period of Christmas.

The days of strict fasting are Epiphany Eve (January 18), the holidays of the Beheading of John the Baptist (September 11) and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (September 27). Some relaxation in the severity of fasting is allowed for the sick, as well as those engaged in hard work, pregnant and lactating women. This is done so that fasting does not lead to a sharp loss of strength, and the Christian has the strength for the prayer rule and the necessary work. But fasting should be not only physical, but also spiritual. “He who believes that fasting only means abstaining from food is mistaken. True fasting, teaches St. John Chrysostom, is withdrawal from evil, curbing the tongue, putting aside anger, taming lusts, stopping slander, lies and perjury.” The body of the fasting person, without being burdened with food, becomes light and strengthens to receive gifts of grace. Fasting tames the desires of the flesh, softens the temper, suppresses anger, restrains the impulses of the heart, invigorates the mind, brings peace to the soul, and eliminates intemperance. By fasting, as St. Basil the Great says, by fasting favorably, by moving away from every sin committed by all the senses, we fulfill the pious duty of an Orthodox Christian. Top

Confession

What should someone who is tormented by their conscience do? What to do when the soul languishes? The Orthodox Church answers: bring repentance. Repentance is the conviction of one’s sin, it is the determination not to repeat it in the future. We sin against God, against our neighbor and against ourselves. We sin in deeds, words and even thoughts. We sin at the instigation of the devil, under the influence of the world around us and according to our own evil will. “There is no person who will live on earth and not sin,” says the funeral prayer. But there is no such sin that is not forgiven by God upon our repentance. For the salvation of sinners, God became man, was crucified, and rose from the dead. The Holy Fathers compare God's mercy to the sea, extinguishing the strongest flame of human iniquities. Confession is performed daily in Orthodox churches. It is clearly accepted by the priest, but invisibly by the Lord Himself, who has given the pastors of the Church the absolution of sins. “Our Lord and God Jesus Christ, by the grace and generosity of His love for mankind, forgive you all your sins, and I, an unworthy priest, by His power given to me, forgive and absolve you from all your sins,” the priest testifies. During confession, there is no need to make excuses, complain about the circumstances of life, mask sins with vague phrases like “I have sinned against the sixth commandment,” or conduct conversations on unrelated topics. One must, without being ashamed (it is shameful to sin, not to repent!) tell everything that conscience and the Gospel convict of. Under no circumstances should anything be hidden: sin can be hidden from the priest, but not from the Omniscient God.

Sins against the Lord God Beliefs in dreams, divination, meetings and other signs. Doubts about faith. Laziness in prayer and absent-mindedness during it. Not going to Church, long absence from confession and Holy Communion. Hypocrisy in Worship of God. Blasphemy or just murmuring against God in the soul and in words. Intention to commit suicide. An unfulfilled promise to God. Blasphemy of the sacred. Violating fasts or not strictly observing them is a work issue on holidays.

Sins against one's neighbor Lack of zeal for one's position or one's business. Disrespect for superiors or elders. Failure to fulfill a promise to a person. Non-payment of debts. Taking by force or secret appropriation of someone else's property. Stinginess in alms. Gossip. Slander. Cursing others. Unnecessary suspicions. Murder. Disrespect for parents. Anger, hostility in family or home life.

Sins against oneself Idle or bad thoughts in the soul. Wishing evil to one's neighbor. Falsity of the word of speech. Irritability. Envy. Hard-heartedness. Vengeance. Love of money. Passion for pleasure. Drunkenness and polyphagia. Fornication. Adultery.

Mortal sins, that is, making a person guilty of eternal death or destruction 1. Pride, despising everyone, demanding servility from others, ready to ascend to heaven and become like the Most High: in a word - pride to the point of self-adoration. 2. An unsatisfied soul, or Judas’ greed for money, combined for the most part with unrighteous acquisitions, not allowing a person even a minute to think about spiritual things. 3. Fornication, or the dissolute life of the prodigal son, who squandered all his father’s estate on such a life. 4. Envy, leading to every possible crime against one’s neighbor. 5. Gluttony or carnality, not knowing any fasting, combined with a passionate attachment to various amusements, following the example of the Evangelical rich man, who had fun all day long. 6. Irreconcilable anger and decisive for terrible destruction, following the example of Herod, who in his anger beat the Bethlehem babies. 7. Laziness, or complete carelessness about the soul, carelessness about repentance until the last days of life, as, for example, in the days of Noah.

Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit Excessive trust in God, or continuation of a grave sinful life in the sole hope of God's mercy. Stubborn unbelief, not convinced by any evidence of truth, even obvious miracles. Sins crying out to heaven for vengeance. Intentional homicide (abortion), especially parricide (fratricide and regicide). Sin of Sodom. Unnecessary oppression of a poor, defenseless person, young orphans. Taking away a person's last piece of bread. Sadness and insults to parents to the point of daring beatings.

The penitent is required to: Consciousness of his sins. Condemning yourself in them. Self-accusation before a confessor. Repentance is not only in word, but also in deed. Sins shorten our lives... Back to top

Rules of spiritual life for beginner Orthodox Christians

When you wake up in bed, first of all, remember God, and put the sign of the cross on yourself.
Don’t leave the prayer rule that you have, and start spending your day with it.
During the day, with every task, pray short prayers. Prayer is the wings of the soul; prayer makes the soul the throne of God.
For God to hear your prayer, you need to pray not with the tip of your tongue, but with your heart.
Let none of those around you be left in the morning without your sincere greetings.
Do not give up prayer when the enemy makes you feel insensible; He who forces himself to pray when his soul is dry is superior to him who prays with tears.
You need to know the New Testament with your mind and heart, learn from it constantly, do not interpret the incomprehensible yourself, but read the patristic interpretations or ask your spiritual fathers for clarification.
Do not forget to drink holy water with a thirst for the sanctification of soul and body.
Greetings to the Queen of Heaven: “Rejoice to the Virgin Mary...” say more often, or at least every hour.
In your free time, read the writings of the Orthodox Fathers - teachers of spiritual life, and if you don’t have them, then persistently ask someone who has them.

In temptations and adversities, repeat the psalter more and read the prayer canon to the Most Holy Theotokos: “We contain many adversities.” She is our only Intercessor.
When demons throw their arrows at you, when sin approaches you, then sing the hymns of Holy Week and Holy Easter, read the canon with an akathist to the Sweetest Jesus Christ, and the Lord will loosen the bonds of darkness that have bound you. Call also to the Most Holy Theotokos and Guardian Angel. Read “O Mother of God, Virgin, Rejoice” many times.
If you cannot sing and read, then in moments of battle, remember the name of Jesus, stand firm and you will be healed by your crying. Even if you don’t understand the meaning of the words of the Jesus Prayer, repeat it anyway, the demons understand and will run away.
During fasting time, fast, but know that God is pleased not only with abstinence of the belly, but also with abstinence of the ears, eyes, tongue, and also abstinence of the heart from passions.
A person starting spiritual life must remember that he is sick, his mind is in error, his will is more inclined to evil than to good, and his heart is out of purity from seething passions, therefore, at the beginning of spiritual life, everything should be directed towards acquiring spiritual health with humility.
Spiritual life is a constant, incessant war with enemies for the salvation of the soul. Never sleep in your soul, your spirit must be alert, always call for help in any battle to your Savior, the Mother of God and Guardian Angel.
Be afraid to agree to sin and unite with the sinful thoughts instilled in you by the approaching enemy. The one who agreed has already done what he thought about. If you are creeping in your thoughts, then crush your heart and repent, the enemy will inspire: “You have already sinned in thought, commit a sin in deed.” Answer the mental killer: “I have sinned before my God, and I will repent before Him. And who are you?"
Remember, God wants your salvation and has done everything for your salvation, so in order to perish, you need to be careless.
Constantly ask the Lord: “Put Your fear into my heart.” Oh, how blessed is he who has constant awe of God.
Give your whole heart to God without a trace and you will feel heaven on earth.
Your faith should be strengthened by frequent resort to repentance and prayer, as well as by communicating with people of deep faith.
Get yourself a memorial book, write down there all those who hate and offend you, as well as the sufferers of our century and those for whom there is no one to pray, remember them daily.
Seek constantly and tirelessly for works of mercy and suffering love. Without these works it is impossible to please God. Be the sunshine for everyone, mercy is above all sacrifices.
Don’t go anywhere unless absolutely necessary, and don’t fuss around at home. The desire for wealth and excessive care are the enemy’s tricks for our time.
Talk as little as possible, laugh, be curious, be idle.
Never be idle; consider church holidays and Sundays to be the fulfillment of God’s works, and not sinful amusements or idle pastimes.
Love holy solitude.
First endure all insults in silence, then by reproaching yourself, and then by praying for those who offend you.
The most important thing for us is to learn patience and humility. With humility we will defeat all demons, and with patience we will defeat the passions that war on our soul and body. When we ask for humility in prayer, we ask that God allow some person to reproach us. Humility and love for enemies will not come by themselves. They need to be acquired by correctly enduring reproaches and humiliation.
During your prayer, do not show to anyone except God your tears of tenderness and your zeal for salvation.
Honor an Orthodox priest as an Angel, a Bringer of Good News, sent to rejoice you and bring you deliverance.
Treat people as carefully as the heirs of the Great Kingdom, but also as carefully as with fire. Remember the words of the Savior that everything you do to your neighbor, you do to Himself. Our neighbor is our salvation or destruction.
Forgive everyone everything and sympathize with everyone in their suffering. —
Just don’t rush around with yourself like a chicken with an egg, forgetting about your neighbor.
Anyone who seeks peace here cannot have the Spirit of God in him; there is no love for God and neighbor in him.
Melancholy and confusion attack from lack of prayer.
Always and everywhere call on your Guardian Angel for help. His suggestions bring heavenly peace to the soul, and from the evil one - confusion of the spirit, even if the thoughts seem correct to us.
Always keep your heart crying for your sins. When you confess them and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, then quietly rejoice over your liberation.
Know only your own indecency and shortcomings, and carefully guard against those of others. Do not destroy yourself by judging others; the one who condemns is the Antichrist. One is God's judgment, the other is human. Weep over the weaknesses of others, so that they do not perish forever. He who weeps for himself does not condemn others, but loves them and wishes for them, as for himself, eternal salvation.
Do not believe any wishes, even good ones, before they are approved by an experienced confessor. Don’t trust your heart, test yourself with the writings of the Orthodox Holy Fathers.
Every evening, confess to God all your sinful deeds, words and thoughts that occurred during the day. Previously, in monasteries, every evening the novices revealed their thoughts to the elder.
Before going to bed, make peace with everyone from the bottom of your heart.
You should not tell dreams to others and do not believe them yourself. More than once the devil has deceived and even destroyed those who believe in their dreams. *
Fall asleep with the sign of the cross and the Jesus Prayer.
Night prayer is more expensive than day prayer.
Don't lose touch with your spiritual father.
Thank God for everything
You must always divide yourself into yourself and the enemy: avoid what your inner enemy wants.
Inner sorrow for one’s sins is more salutary than all bodily labors.
There is no better word in our language than “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner. Lord, save me, a sinner.”
Love all the church rules and bring your life closer to them.
Learn to be vigilant and always monitor yourself, especially your external feelings. It is through them that the enemy especially enters the soul. Watch your thoughts carefully.
When you recognize your weakness and powerlessness to do good, then remember that it is not you who save yourself, it is your Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who saves you.
Your faith must be impregnable, for the fierce enemy does not sleep, guarding your every step. But God loves a courageous soul that always trusts in Him.
No one entered heaven living a cool life.
We are brought closer to God by sorrows, labors and illnesses; do not grumble at them, do not be afraid of them.
As often as possible, with tenderness and contrition of heart, partake of the Holy Mysteries of the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. You are alive only by them.
Never forget that death can snatch us away every minute, do not forget that Judgment and retribution are coming soon. Remember that you are always in the presence of God and under His omniscient gaze.
Remember also what the Lord has prepared for those who love Him, and His commandments for those who do.
Read this alphabet at least once a week.

Material created: 03/22/2016

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