Mikhail Khasminsky: “Extra information is useless, it destroys people psychologically”

Table of contents

• Crisis psychologist Mikhail Khasminsky - psychological support during the coronavirus epidemic
• Fear of police and fines
• Alarm due to statistics of cases and deaths
• Fear for the future
• Concern for children's health when you can't go outside
• I lash out at my kids because I can't get anything done.
• Fear for people who do not believe in the existence of the virus
• Fatigue and stress during quarantine
• Children see their parents' negative emotions
• Are children worse than dogs?
• Same thing every day
• Childlessness is felt more acutely
• Adult son violates self-isolation
• Gloating about the infection of priests
• Students' reluctance to study remotely

Crisis psychologist Mikhail Khasminsky - psychological support during the coronavirus epidemic

Crisis (Greek: krisis) is a decision, a turning point, a judgment. That is, this is a situation in which we can no longer do things the old way, but have not yet learned the new way. This is a turning point, a time of transition, a turning point in which the situation is extremely unstable. It’s as if the person is standing on one leg: you can push in any direction. In this case, people are able to change: perceive information, change their worldview, their idea of ​​some things that they do not do in ordinary life. For example, I wanted to make my own channel many times, but somehow I never got around to it. A crisis situation occurred, and he immediately began to act.

There have always been crises: violence, the death of a loved one, we have all experienced age-related crises, energy, economic... Some affected us, some did not. There were, of course, victims of these crises. The plague occurred in 1664, wiped out 85% of the population of Moscow, then repeated 40 years later. Cholera, Spanish flu... There were a lot of different situations.

In my opinion, something happened to us that we need to understand ourselves and convey to our children. Nowadays, schoolchildren go online, always wear headphones, and stream themselves. They constantly need some kind of background, music. I saw many such children; they were brought to me and my colleagues. Do you know what the horror of all this is? When such a person is left without headphones, he is lost. If this young man (or girl) is taken to the forest and asked to listen to the birds, it will be a nightmare for him, he will not know what to do. Why? Because they are afraid of themselves. They don’t know themselves, their soul, and cannot be in silence. It is impossible for such a person to switch attention to self-knowledge.

And now discoveries await us. When this backdrop of consumerism, some absurd affairs, and the constant race subsides somewhat for many, they feel terrible discomfort because they are getting to know themselves. In some cases with your children, even with friends, because you can immediately see who is which friend in this situation. And discoveries really await us, because many people live like drug addicts. Now withdrawal occurs. These entertainment centers, beauty, nails...

Now everyone understands who teachers are and how they should be treated. And who are the doctors? Doctors are already respected. Teachers, I think, will soon be respected too. We will change.

This is what I wanted to say in the preamble. Now let's move on to the questions.

About the Center for Crisis Psychology

This is one of the earliest institutions of this type. Created over 10 years ago. The crisis center employs the best Orthodox psychologists who help almost everyone who comes with any issue (problems in relationships in families, fears and obsessive thoughts, violence, natural disasters, stress, and so on). Help is provided here for both adults and children, both believers (of different religious groups) and atheists.

The attitude of the staff towards everyone is equal, regardless of what kind of payment the person who applied was able to allocate and whether he allocated it at all.

According to crisis psychologist Mikhail Khasminsky, the best reward for work is sincere gratitude and the shining eyes of the healed person.

Fear of police and fines

Writes a woman who is at the epicenter of this coronavirus story in Italy.

“The presence of police on all corners puts a lot of pressure on me personally; I can only go out to the nearest supermarkets. If you go to the far one, you can run into a large fine of 600-2000 euros. The news reports how many people have already been fined. Walking into the store felt like walking through a minefield. I see a police car from afar, I walk around it to avoid a fine. My husband is easier on this, but I can’t do it. How can I change my attitude?”

The man scares himself. The woman is simply afraid of the police. Remember, like Mikhalkov:

After all, it’s not for nothing that someone whose conscience is not clear avoids the police post and fears the police...

I am far from thinking that this woman has a guilty conscience. Then what is she afraid of? When you hide and sneak, the police will still see it, they are professionals. This will cause additional suspicions and problems. When a person is sneaking, he mentally thinks out to himself what will happen if a policeman detains him, how he will justify himself, etc. He is tormented by his own personal fantasies.

It is impossible to bypass the police. There is a very simple technique: lie down on the sofa and imagine that you are going to the store. You can completely imagine the entire journey to the store in your imagination. This is our imagination, we imagine what we want. You are in a safe environment on the sofa, but in your imagination you walk and meet a police car, but do not run away from it, but calmly walk past and enter the store. Then do this again while lying on the couch. This helps very well to consolidate a certain behavior of your own and not give in to fear.

Fear is irrational, you have nothing to fear, you are not a criminal. You are an ordinary person who goes to the store. Most likely, this woman had some experience, maybe even a negative movie, that led her to the appearance of fear.

Books and publications

Each publication of the crisis psychologist Mikhail Igorevich Khasminsky is the stages of his formation as a person, an outstanding personality, a psychologist. And although some of them were written quite a long time ago, they are still relevant today, since they reflect pressing issues of modern society.

About books by Mikhail Khasminsky by topic:

1. Family, relationships, breakups, love - deep information about creating a strong family, about a man and a woman, about responsibility (as the foundation of relationships, including family ones), about pregnancy, about jealousy and love addiction, about selfishness and so on.
2. Loss of loved ones - recommendations on how to properly express condolences, how to get rid of feelings of guilt (including in front of the deceased person), getting rid of the influence of the past on the present, answers to many questions of interest.
3. Crises in life are about mental pain, about feelings and where they lead, about methods of overcoming obsessive thoughts, about fears.
4. Books for people who have experienced violence in life - about how forgiveness frees and improves well-being, about the destruction of illusions, about domestic violence (is it normal if a man beats a woman) and others.
5. About patriotic feelings, the national question, democracy and so on.
6. About spirituality and the meaning of life - answers to questions about the meaning of life (in 3 parts), about education and the meaning of life, about freedom, about consciousness, about personal growth without spirituality, about the church, about young “elders” and others.

7. About fears - methods of overcoming obsessive thoughts and fears (through psychology and spirituality), about fears as such, about obsessive thoughts (the cause).
8. About suicidal mood - about the impossibility of killing your higher self, about suicide as a way to recognize yourself, about the impossibility of connecting with a deceased person through killing your body.
9. About illnesses - illness is a way and opportunity for spiritual development, about overcoming the vacuum of psychosomatic patients, about forgiveness and its impact on health.
10. Comments and interviews - about the soul, about freedom, about the churchliness of man, about Orthodox priests and the church, about the illusions of action, etc.

Alarm due to statistics of cases and deaths

“The statistics of deaths and illnesses are pressing. The statistics were falling, and everyone began to hope that this was the light at the end of the tunnel, and then the number of cases began to increase. For two days now, on each individual day there have been 6 thousand infected. Today there are more than 900 deaths. The reports are like those from the war, with no end in sight. It just leads to despair.”

What's pressing? It’s not someone’s illness, but statistics. Let's think about who makes these statistics and why. For example, I found a fake yesterday - a photograph of coffins standing in a row in Italy. It turns out that this is a photograph from 2013; refugees swam across from somewhere and drowned. The question is, why do they throw these coffins into the Italians and scare them? I can’t give you an answer as to why they’re scaring you; it’s still a mystery to me too.

When they scare you with statistics, you immediately need to think, what does this have to do with me? I asked the girl who is at the epicenter: do you personally have anyone who has suffered from the coronavirus? The essence of the answer is approximately: my husband has an aunt, she has a first husband who goes to the organization with grandmothers and two grandmothers died there. It is unclear why they died. This is the seventh water on jelly. You need to be afraid when people carry plastic bags past you, but this is how, in my opinion, they scare people.

When statistics fall, people hope, wait, go through stages... I think many of you know them: shock, denial, aggression, depression, acceptance. In the case of such acute situations, this can pass quickly (in a few weeks, and they have been in quarantine for about a month). In this case, they went through all the stages, there was light at the end of the tunnel, but again everything was bad, and everything started again. Again shock, again denial and off we go...

Once again, it’s not the numbers that should scare you. This confusion, the fear that weighs on a person psychologically, must be treated rationally. Always ask the question: what does this have to do with you specifically? How many people do you personally know, how many of them got sick, how many died? And here it is, the answer. Everything becomes rational.

And of course the most important thing is to turn off this TV. An alert system is needed, but the endless information needs to be turned off. People are chasing, analyzing, trying to compare something... Information can only be compared by someone who is competent. Most of us don't have that competence. Extra information is useless; it destroys people psychologically.

From police officers to psychologists

— You used to work in the police, then you became a psychologist. An atypical plot, to be honest.

- Yes, overall atypical. When I worked in law enforcement, I already had a second, psychological, education, received as an additional education when I studied at the Academy of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, in the early 1990s. I must say that the level of teaching there was very serious, and, what is important, we were aimed at practical work with people, especially with people who found themselves in difficult life situations and, first of all, with victims of criminal crimes. That is, I had two higher educations: one legal, the other psychological. And when I subsequently worked in various operational positions, I used the acquired psychological knowledge situationally; it remained with me, as it were, in the background.

— How did it happen that you suddenly became an Orthodox psychologist?

— You know, I myself am surprised by this trajectory: from police officers to psychologists. After all, I didn’t have any special interest in psychology at that time! It’s hard to believe that you can one day go to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra and return as a different person, with completely different thoughts, worldview, and desires.

- Why is it difficult?

- Because, looking from the outside, in my opinion, it’s hard to believe it. In general, it’s very difficult for me to talk about this, it was a real miracle. In the most general terms: one day, quite by accident, I went to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra and venerated the relics of St. Sergius of Radonezh. And suddenly, right on the way back to Moscow, I realized that I was in the wrong place. Suddenly there was a clear desire to help cancer patients. At this time, by the way, my mother also had cancer in the last stage, which after that trip unexpectedly went into stable remission, surprising the doctors. I go, quit my job and get a job as a psychologist at the Russian Oncology Research Center named after. Blokhin Academy of Medical Sciences and a volunteer at the First Hospice for Children with Cancer.

Probably, the question arises: if a person commits such somersaults, then how did he serve so long in the police and how was he trusted with weapons (smiles). But I assure you, it was completely normal, God just visited. Although from the outside, perhaps it really looked strange.

— So you left the police not because you were disappointed in this work?

- No. There was no disappointment. It’s just that when God visits a person, life is seen from a slightly different angle and a different meaning and other points of application appear in it, and accordingly, other places of service open up.

— I ask because there are many prejudices against this profession in society...

— In the police (and now in the police), as elsewhere, there are different people. I can say that during my service I saw absolutely amazing people in the security forces, selfless people who really cared about the cause. And these prejudices are caused by ignorance of the real situation in the police, and some personal problems, complexes, and, sometimes, mistakes of police officers. And in general, they always don’t like those who keep order. For example, schoolchildren, do they like teachers? Moreover, now many people base their ideas about law enforcement agencies on the basis of stupid television series!

- But why did you leave?

- I don’t know how to talk about this. Well, how can you explain what happens to you in a few hours? When everything changes inside and you realize that you are not where you need to be.

— Is there anything in common between the work of an operative and a psychologist?

— One of the important professional qualities of an opera is the ability to systematically objectively analyze any information. It is also important for an operative to understand the psychology of different people. But simply by memorizing textbooks and passing tests, you will not become a professional. A law enforcement officer must have a lively, quick mind, innovative thinking, responsibility, attentiveness, flexibility, proper motivation, and a kind heart. There must also be honesty, a certain personal directness, in order to be able to see and express the truth that a person very often hides from himself. These same qualities are important for a practicing psychologist. He must be very sober, very critical of what the person who turned to him for help tells about himself (because people tend to embellish something, hide something, interpret something arbitrarily). And usually he must tell the patient the truth, even if sometimes unpleasant. Yes, sometimes a psychologist should also be a vest where you can cry, but this vest can also be quite tough, so to speak, a bulletproof vest. That is, you need to understand the person, you need to let him express his feelings, but after that, clearly identify the essence of his problem and responsibly offer real ways to solve it. This may be perceived as harshness, but it is often necessary.

Church of the Resurrection of Christ on Semenovskaya, Moscow. Photo by Lodo27

Fear for the future

“The uncertainty of the situation is oppressive; there is no end in sight to its resolution. Of course, many people have fears for the future. Many have lost their jobs, many are afraid of losing them, and in such a crisis situation of quarantine, it is simply impossible to find a job.”

Again they are afraid of what is not there. What has not yet happened, fantasies in the head. Nobody knows what will happen. Maybe, on the contrary, there will be more than enough work. We generally cannot know the future. It is clear that we cannot hope for God’s help, because this is how we are as Christians today.

Fantasies that a person will get sick, die, won’t find a job, his wife will leave him, or some other cataclysm will happen, must always be rationalized. You need to ask such a person questions (or for him to ask himself): please tell me, do you know the future? How much do you think you can know him? (he answers, for example, “I'm sure”) How confident are you? Can you compare all these factors with each other? What are these factors?

If a person is caught doing this, it will be very good. No person can know the future. You can explain to a person that now he is afraid of a shadow. There is a metaphor: when a person walks past a cemetery at night, he is scared because he does not know what is in the dark. He is afraid that the dead man will suddenly come out and grab him, etc. And during the day, when he walks there, he is not afraid of anything. Why? Because everything is visible from afar, everything is known, everything is good. This metaphor explains well what we are afraid of.

Professional soul science

— What kind of people need an Orthodox psychologist? For those of little faith or even just for those who came to church for the first time? Or churchgoers too?

— There are also very religious people who turn to a psychologist. Even the abbots of churches came to me for consultation. They, too, may, for example, have a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one or seek advice about family problems.

Another problem is that some priests simply cannot speak the same language as the people who come to them. Their correct recommendations - to humble yourself, endure, pray and fast - can often only be accepted by a spiritually experienced, deeply religious person. But even among those who have been churchgoers for a long time, not everyone is like that.

Let’s say a person comes to church for the first time and has certain problems in his family, quarrels with his wife, and so on. And the priest, for example, rightly points out to him that he needs to be lenient towards his wife’s weaknesses and her nerves. And he adds that if in this case a person cannot endure the hardships and weaknesses of another, then this may be a consequence of his own proud dispensation.

What is the very likely reaction of this proud man of ours? He will say: “What are you telling me here? Am I proud? Why should I be afraid to condescend to her nonsense?” Therefore, you still need to be able to talk to this person so that his first visit to the temple does not become his last. And it is often easier for a psychologist to understand a non-church person and be more understandable to him, but at the same time be the link that is needed for a person not only to come to the Church, but to stay there forever.

After the end of the one-day seminar - photo of the group with the head of the center and training presenter Mikhail Khasminsky

— There is an idea that an Orthodox psychologist is some kind of loser who simply did not manage to become a secular professional. And so he called himself Orthodox and converts a certain number of people to himself only due to confessionalism.

— I agree that there are no Orthodox gynecologists, Orthodox dentists or Orthodox mathematicians. Who is an Orthodox psychologist then? I think that this is a psychologist, but at the same time an internally Orthodox person who works by examining the human soul from the point of view of Orthodox anthropology*. From this point of view, he tries to understand the other person, and his responsibility is higher. An Orthodox psychologist will have to answer not only to the client, but also to God for what he did or advised. Therefore, he must carefully weigh everything he says and recommends, taking care not only of the person he is helping, but also of his soul.

By the way, literally from Greek psychology is “soul science,” and a psychologist is, accordingly, “psychologist.” In a sense, secular psychology appropriated this name for itself. After all, if you deny the human soul (and in most schools of secular psychology it is denied), then how can you “know” it? But, for example, the monks Sergius of Radonezh and Theophan the Recluse, and indeed the holy fathers in general, did not, of course, have a diploma in psychology, but nevertheless they were excellent soul experts. So Orthodox psychologists not only exist, but they often help people better than secular psychologists. In crisis situations it’s definitely better.

— Do the goals of Orthodox and secular psychology coincide?

— Psychology is multifaceted, but if we consider helping people in difficult circumstances, it is no secret that many secular psychologists most often set the goal of simply calming a person down, making his life comfortable again. This is where they often get advice of this kind: “Did your husband cheat? Don't worry! Find your lover and cuckold him!”

- Is it true?

- I'm not joking at all. Even famous psychologists advise such things, publicly, in the press, TV, and glossy magazines. Nowadays, much in the secular environment is built precisely on feelings and pleasures. The main thing is to remove worries. But as? Well, for example, do the same thing - say, change in response to betrayal. And that’s it, you’re even, you can calm down. This is quite logical in that coordinate system.

Often they have no orientation towards changing the soul, they only deal with the annoying symptom. The illness of the soul remains. They've been going on like this for years. But sending a person to a real Doctor who will heal him is psychology on a completely different level. After all, the most important helper, as we know, is the Lord. Our final task, as far as possible, is to lead a person to God, because He will be the best medicine.

Concern for children's health when you can't go outside

“My youngest ( son ’s eyes are designed in such a way that he needs to go for walks more, that’s what the ophthalmologists said, so that his vision doesn’t deteriorate too much. Our dad's eyesight is below par due to the fact that we hardly walked with him. The younger one inherited this feature. I worry and panic about my youngest son's vision. How not to panic?”

Same story. Can his eyesight deteriorate so quickly if he doesn’t take a walk? What if he’s just looking outside, not necessarily running, but just looking? You can look out the window even in such a strict quarantine as it is now in this city. Is this quarantine not forever? Let's call the ophthalmologist and ask how long it takes for a child to lose his sight?

Of course, I don’t know what kind of disease we’re talking about and I’m not a doctor, but I very much doubt that vision can decline if a child does not walk for a month. For a month he may even suffer from some other illness and simply not go out. It's not so tragic. That is, the chimeras that a person invents for himself are again frightening. And he starts to panic because he doesn’t know what to do. The threatening situation in his fantasy frightens him very much. Here you just need to pay attention to the essence - ask yourself a few logical questions and give logical answers to them (either yourself or with the help of specialists). Then the anxiety will disappear. Even if not completely, but to a sufficient extent.

Biography

Mikhail Igorevich born in 1969. Married, has a son.

As for profession, in the past he was a police major. He received his education as a psychologist at the Academy of the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs. Has experience working with children suffering from cancer.

Orthodox psychologist, initiator of the development of such a direction in modern psychology as psycho-oncology.

I lash out at my kids because I can't get anything done.

“I don’t have enough time for everything. I try to plan my day, but I still don’t get anything done, even though I get up early. That’s why I take it out on children who don’t sit down to do their homework. There are two of them. You have to sit with them continuously, control and help. I’m tired of living a life that’s not my own, I don’t have any time left for myself.”

Many people wrote similar letters, I chose a typical one. Many people have written about this problem: complete exhaustion due to the fact that they are forced to control everything, incl. with children, they have no time for their own lives. What can we say here? The question needs to be asked: why control everything? Previously, I didn’t control everything, but now I need to control everything absolutely. This is perfectionism.

When “I have to control everything,” then a person has absolutely no resources for this, because a person cannot control everything. What will change if the child, for example, does not study so well? The child also needs to get used to this format, and this requires at least 21 days (psychologists will understand me). This is the bare minimum.

Yesterday we were at school, and tomorrow we started studying via remote access. Well, if he learns a little worse, what will change fundamentally? Will this make him different? Should this make you love him less? What is the problem?

When people start looking for answers to these questions, they come to the conclusion that they are the problem. The desire to control everything.

We should advise such people to relax. There will be no catastrophe if this is not a system, if this is a one-time situation.

Help the project!

Born in 1969.

Head of the center for crisis psychology at the courtyard of the Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus' - the Church of the Resurrection of Christ on Semenovskaya, created with the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II, assistant rector of the courtyard.

Editor-in-Chief of the online journal “Russian Orthodox Psychology” (www.dusha-orthodox.ru). Chief editor of the portals memoriam.ru and boleem.com,

Member of the Association of Oncopsychologists of Russia

Chief expert of the portals of practical crisis psychology perejit.ru, pobedish.ru vetkaivi.ru and other group sites (with a total average traffic of 65,000 unique visitors daily). This group of sites is the main one in the provision of psychological assistance in the Russian-language segment of the Internet.

Co-author and author of more than 11 popular books, as well as many publications and interviews. Compiler of a series of books for those experiencing grief.

Many materials on crisis psychology have been translated and published in English, Romanian, Chinese, Ukrainian, and German.

The book “Siguran Oslonac u Krizi” was published in Serbian, consisting of articles, interviews and publications by the author.

In a group of specialists, he developed the concept of providing psychological and counseling assistance on the Internet (sites of the Survive group), developed a strategy for effective search engine promotion, and administered these projects.

Also groups of Orthodox and psychological content in online communities.

For many years, he has been working closely with a number of media outlets, publishing a lot of materials in large-circulation magazines and newspapers, and is involved as an expert on various TV programs and leading radio stations (in the Russian Federation and the Republic of Belarus)

Conducts extensive teaching, scientific and social work

As part of a group of specialists, he participated in the development of criteria for classifying information as pro-suicidal for the joint order of Roskomnadzor, the Federal Drug Control Service of Russia, and Rospotrebnadzor of September 11, 2013.

Conducts seminars for psychologists of the Ministry of Defense, FSB, Ministry of Emergency Situations on the topic “Providing psychological, spiritual and moral assistance to combatants and forced migrants” (Rostov-on-Don, Kamchatka Territory, Novosibirsk Region, etc.)

With the blessing of the ruling bishops, he conducts seminars for priests - “Modern pastoral counseling - old mistakes and new effective tools.” In 2014, Seminars were held in the Minsk Theological Academy and Seminary, Pinsk Diocese, Novosibirsk Metropolis, Kamchatka Diocese, Omsk Metropolis, Eastern Vicariate of Moscow, etc.

For several years he has been conducting teaching and educational activities in higher educational institutions.

Speakers at various events at the invitation of Metropolises and dioceses of the Russian Orthodox Church (2014 - in Novosibirsk, Omsk, Tomsk, Rostov-Don, Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky, as well as Christmas Readings in Moscow)

Conducts individual consultations and courses for people experiencing a crisis (registration by phone +7 925-642-34-61)

Professional interests:

• Psychological assistance to people experiencing divorce and separation.
• Psychological rehabilitation of people who have experienced grief (death of loved ones, including children), psychological trauma of loss.
• Psychological support for patients suffering from severe somatic diseases with a poor prognosis (including cancer).
• Preventive work to prevent suicides, development of technologies for suicide prevention
• Promotion of Orthodox and value-oriented information using Internet technologies
• Organization of psychological and counseling services on the Internet, organization of Internet volunteering.
• Psychological rehabilitation of victims in a war zone (both military personnel and civilians), victims of natural disasters, forced migration, accidents, terrorist attacks, hazing in the army, victims of crimes against the person, incl. with the use of sexual violence (post-traumatic stress reaction after being in an extreme situation).
• Comprehensive spiritual and psychological rehabilitation of people experiencing crisis or traumatic extreme situations (including children).
• Technology of work to promote spiritual and patriotic values ​​in the information environment
• Crowd psychology /as a section of social psychology/ - methods and forms of work to counter destructive groups and technologies

ARTICLES AND PUBLISHING:

________________________

Breaking up with a loved one:

• Algorithm for experiencing a love crisis
• Families are broken by selfishness
• About love addiction
• Consolations are not always useful

______

About family and love:

• Creating a strong family must be learned
• How to win love
• “Unwanted pregnancy” is stressful
• Treason clouds reason
• Does a family need a hierarchy?
• Man and woman are pearls of one necklace
• Causes and resolution of conflicts
• How to get rid of jealousy
• You can't make someone fall in love with you through manipulation.
• If you try everything, you won’t try the main thing
• Responsibility is the basis of love in a family
• Gender-role traits of a man and a woman are formed by upbringing and example

______

About patriotism, Fatherland and the national question:

• Popular oncology for opposition supporters
• Tales of Democracy

______

Loss, death of loved ones:

• When faith is not enough: Features of non-believers’ experience of the death of loved ones
• How to express condolences?
• Feelings of guilt without the prefix “Would”: What is our guilt before the dead
• What to do after receiving sad news?
• Why do I need this? Where can I find the answer to this question?
• If a loved one has died and you want to “go to him”
• How to get rid of the slavery of the Past and stop suffering from black sorrow

______

About the crises of life, the meaning of suffering:

• Reliable support in overcoming the crisis
• Where can you cure mental pain?
• Drunk commander, or Where do feelings take us?
• Psychological and spiritual methods for overcoming obsessive thoughts
• Churching is the best defense against the crisis
• Dead ends in life: a view from above

______

For survivors of violence:

• Domestic violence: does a husband beat his wife - does that mean he loves him?
• Forgiveness is freeing yourself
• Illusions must be destroyed
• Overcoming victimization through true comprehension of life
• Every rapist must understand that he is scum

______

About fears and obsessive thoughts:

• Anatomy of Fear
• If you don't take off your rose-colored glasses, reality will do it for you.
• Psychological and spiritual methods for overcoming obsessive thoughts
• Who imposes obsessive thoughts on us?

______

About the disease:

• Illness as an opportunity for spiritual growth
• The influence of forgiveness on the patient's condition
• The need to overcome the existential vacuum in seriously somatic patients

______

About unwillingness to live, suicide and its consequences:

• Will I be able to kill "I"? or Where Consciousness Lives
• Who does the suicide look like?
• How to die ugly, or Last greetings to loved ones
• Methods of suicide. Suicide without rose-colored glasses
• Suicide: is it possible to reunite with the deceased by killing your body?
• Suicide...Know yourself!
• The media contributes to the rise in suicide
• Into the thicket of the forest with only a compass and a map, or how to keep a person from committing suicide?
• In Russia, suicides are left to their own devices

______

About the meaning of life and its search:

• Is life a train to nowhere? Answers to the question about the meaning of life (part I)
• Is life a train to nowhere? Answers to the question about the meaning of life (part II)
• Is life a train to nowhere? Answers to the question about the meaning of life after loss
• The purpose of education and the meaning of life

______

About spiritual search and self-improvement:

• Pride training, or what “personal growth” without repentance leads to
• How not to fall under the influence of a young man
• Young elders. What to do if a person has reached a dead end in his spiritual quest?

______

What is a person?:

• The view of modern science: Does the soul exist, and is Consciousness immortal?
• Where does Consciousness live?
• True freedom is freedom from passions
• The right question is not “For what?”, but “For what?”
• Is death a dream?
• What scares people away from the Church?

Interview:

• Churching is the best defense against the crisis
• When your soul hurts...
• We live in an era of illusion of action
• Orthodox priests and the Church as a target of information warfare
• Experts: what will happen to the Church and to us...

“THERE ARE NO MAGIC WORDS”

(Belarusian military newspaper; issue 25 of May 25, 2013)

https://vsr.mil.by/2013/05/25/mixail-xasminskij-volshebnyx-slov-net/

• Does the soul exist?

(AiF No. 49. Super number: 213 answers to your questions.)

https://www.aif.ru/dontknows/answer/1036727

“How to tell your child about the death of a loved one”

(Article in Serbian)

https://www.imanade.org/kako-reci-detetu-za-smrt-bliske-osobe/

Refugees: If you want to help

https://foma.ru/bezhentsyi-otkrovennyiy-razgovor-s-popavshim-v-bedu-is-tem-kto-emu-pomogaet.html

PSYCHOLOGIST MIKHAIL KHASMINSKY ABOUT THE CRISIS: FOLLOW LOGIC AND TRUST IN THE LORD

https://foma.ru/psiholog-mihail-hasminskiy-o-krizise-sledovat-logike-upovat-na-gospoda.html

ORTHODOX CULTURE OR SECULAR ETHICS: SELECTION CRITERIA

Psychologist Mikhail Khasminsky on why Orthodoxy can save you from life disasters

https://foma.ru/hasminskiy.html

REFUGEES: IF YOU NEED HELP

https://foma.ru/esli-ty-bejenec.html

Expert: The Ministry of Culture of the Moscow Region threatens the mental health of citizens

https://www.regnum.ru/news/cultura/1863423.html

Ukrainian refugees in Belarus. Find words, help with deeds... (The material received a UN award)

https://rumol.org/2014/09/18/ukrainskie-bezhency-v-belarusi-najti-slova-pomoch-delom/

Orthodox psychologist on information warfare technologies

https://orthoview.ru/pravoslavnyj-psixolog-o-texnologiyax-informacionnoj-vojny/ “Cold War” 2.0 https://orthoview.ru/xolodnaya-vojna-2-0/ The Great Exodus from the Internet. How to free yourself from social networks? https://orthoview.ru/kak-osvoboditsya-ot-socialnyx-setej/ Sleep paralysis https://orthoview.ru/sonnyj-paralich/ Orthodox view on feminism https://orthoview.ru/pravoslavnyj-vzglyad-na- feminizm/ Refugee reminder: how to survive during the war and get to the evacuation point https://www.miloserdie.ru/articles/pamyatka-bezhenca-kak-vyzhit-vo-vremya-vojny-i-dobratsya-do-punkta-evakuacii How to help refugees: how to console those affected by military conflict? https://www.miloserdie.ru/articles/kak-pomoch-bezhencam-chem-uteshit-postradavshih-ot-voennogo-konflikta Cancer patients are killed by journalists https://www.miloserdie.ru/articles/onkobolnyh-ubivayut-zhurnalisty As part of the International Book Exhibition in Minsk, a presentation of the book series “From Heart to Heart” took place https://www.sobor.by/page/V_ramkah_Megdunarodnoy_knignoy_vistavki_v_Minske_sostoyalas_prezentatsiya_knignoy_serii_Ot_Serdtsa_k_Serdtsu_rn Psychotherapeutic techniques during the war https://www.grozniedni .ru/main/vizhivanie/psihoterapevticheskie_tehniki_vo_vremya_voyny. htm How a refugee can maintain his mental health https://www.grozniedni.ru/main/travmi_voini/kak_bejencu_sohranit_svoe_dushevnoe_zdorove.htm

Translations of articles:

_____________

English speaking:

• How to die unpretty, or last hi to dears
• Solid support to overcome crisis
• Suicide methods. Suicide without rose-colored spectacles
• Who dictates our obsession thoughts?
• Who is self-murderer?

_________________

Serbian:

• The liberal-democratic opposition in Russia is on the wheel of a wheelbarrow.
• Do you have any thoughts for us?

Abstracts on psycho-oncology for oncological scientific conferences:

• The influence of a psychotherapeutic method on reducing the level of anxiety, normalizing the emotional state and treating psychogenically caused insomnia in cancer patients.
• Possibilities of psychological assistance in an oncology hospital.
• Results of an anonymous survey of cancer patients (as part of a study to study the internal picture of the disease) on their use of non-agreed treatment methods.

AUDIO MATERIALS:

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• Report at the Christmas readings
• About subtle worlds, dreams, ways to overcome grief and loss of loved ones
• Interview about suicide / for the newspaper Liberation (France)
• How to overcome the crisis. Part I / from a series of lectures given at the Golden Key holding, Vologda
• How to overcome the crisis. Part II / from a series of lectures given at the Golden Key holding, Vologda
• How to overcome the crisis. Part III/ from a series of lectures given at the Golden Key holding, Vologda
• How to overcome the crisis. Part IV/ from a series of lectures given at the Golden Key holding, Vologda

PUBLICATIONS INCLUDING THE AUTHOR'S MATERIALS:

___________________________

A TIME TO HUG AND A TIME TO AVOID HUGING. In search of marital happiness

The book by bachelor of religious studies, Orthodox doctor and medical psychologist K.V. Zorin is devoted to medical and psychological issues of gender. We are talking about the periods and rhythms of intimate life, the destructive influence of the sexual revolution, the biological and spiritual facets of intimate desire, sexual addiction and methods of overcoming it, virtual fornication and much more. The author relies on the works of priests, theologians, domestic and foreign specialists. The book is addressed to those readers who want to avoid personal and family problems or resolve them safely.

OVERCOMING DIVORCE. How to prevent or survive divorce

What to do when, for one reason or another, family life is falling apart and it seems that divorce is inevitable? Is it possible to save a marriage and, if not, how to survive the separation of two once close people with the least psychological losses? You will find answers to these and other, often painful, questions in this book. Real life stories are commented on by psychologists, following whose advice you may not make mistakes and save your marriage. And if the family does break up, you will find ways to overcome the consequences of divorce. It is for those who have either gone through a divorce, or are about to get a divorce, or have witnessed the dramatic breakdown of the families of their friends and loved ones, not knowing how to help them.

Authors and compilers: Dmitry Semenik; Archpriest Igor Gagarin; Lyudmila Ermakova; Irina Moshkova; Archpriest Sergius Nikolaev; Irina Rakhimova; Mikhail Khasminsky; Svetlana Shvetsova

THERE IS AN EXIT! What to do if you don’t want to live Any death is associated with certain emotional experiences: loneliness, heartache... In the case of suicide, these emotions reach incredible strength and become unbearable. People with suicidal intentions are in a state of extreme mental stress that they are unable to resolve on their own. Then scientific psychology, psychiatry and religion come to the rescue. It is when they go hand in hand that such collaboration produces superior results.

Authors and compilers: Dmitry Semenik; Mikhail Khasminsky

HOW TO HELP THE DEAD?

The invisible world cannot be isolated from the visible world. There is communication between both. None of us can deny the possibility of complete communication between the living and the dead, and this is confirmed to us by the Gospel, the Church, and our own experience. They give us numerous examples of actual communication between the living and the dead, examples of mutual memory, mutual prayer, caring and help.

FORGIVE AND LET GO. How to cope with a breakup with a loved one

Love is what every person needs most. More than money, fame, pleasure. And at the same time, love is the biggest shortage in the modern world. This book invites you to rethink some of the cliches that exist in the minds of modern man, depriving him of love and making him unhappy and sick. You can't start a family if you don't know how to love. The book touches on issues not only of love and family, but also themes of good and evil, depression, selfishness, and relationships with parents. Stop the relay of your misfortunes, learn to love, create a full-fledged family and make your children much happier.

FREE YOURSELF! How to overcome violence and its consequences

Violence and its consequences are one of the most difficult problems to resolve. Here, the participation of a psychotherapist is often simply necessary. But you can get out of this crisis yourself. The book clearly presents certain knowledge and techniques that it is advisable for every victim of violence to master in order to diagnose their condition and alleviate it, in order to reduce the likelihood of a recurrence of a difficult event. A situation of violence will not be able to irrevocably break your personality; you will come out of the crisis as an older, stronger, deeper person, and your life will be better.

Compiled by: Dmitry Semenik

HOW TO SURVIVE A BREAKUP WITH A LOVED PERSON? You have been dealt an unhealing wound, your heart is breaking with pain, your mind refuses to think, your life is over and there is no way out: you have been abandoned by the only person in the whole world, loved with all your heart. How to cope with mental pain, how to see the Hand of God in everything, how to learn to rejoice, believe, hope and love again? Is it possible to return or find happiness again? How to avoid losses and breaks? Orthodox priests, psychologists, doctors answer.

Compiled by: Dmitry Semenik

WHY ME? The diseases we bring on

Bachelor of Religious Studies, Orthodox doctor and medical psychologist K.V. Zorin tries to answer the most pressing questions asked by people tormented by illness: “Why did the trouble befall me? Why did I have such misfortune? Why are others spared from this or their suffering less?” These questions arise due to our lack of understanding or cowardice. Based on the rich spiritual experience of Christianity and the achievements of modern science, the author reveals the deep, often unconscious causes of diseases. The book harmoniously intertwines medical, psychological and theological arguments. Specific recommendations will help the reader not to provoke the onset of the disease in himself and loved ones, and also to more successfully overcome its exacerbations, relapses and complications.

Author: Konstantin Zorin

SUICIDE: ERROR OR SOLUTION? Why don't you want to live? Is there a reliable way to commit suicide? Where do obsessive thoughts come from? What is death? Is it possible to learn to rejoice? How to love yourself? What is a sense of life?

This book is the fruit of several years of practical work by a group of specialists and volunteers with thousands of potential suicides. It raises the most pressing questions that concern such people, to which deep, accurate and interesting answers are given, helping recipients understand the true sources of their problems, change their worldview and start a new life.

Compiled by: Dmitry Semenik; Mikhail Khasminsky

REAL LOVE. BUILDING A FAMILY

Family is something that everyone has heard about, and at the same time it is a secret behind seven seals. This book is a serious and at the same time fascinating attempt to answer those questions on which the strength and happiness of a family depends: what is the purpose of family life, how does a family differ from a “civil marriage”, how to preserve and increase love in a family, what to do with a crush on a third person.

Compiled by: Dmitry Semenik

SIGURAN OSLONAC U KRISI. The arts of the Orthodox psychologist

Author: Mikhail Khasminsky

COMING TOGETHER WITH THE DISEASE

A serious illness is not just a blow to health or a hopeless situation in which little depends on us. This is the most difficult test of a person’s personal qualities, this is the most important fight of our life, which can bring us the greatest victory or difficult defeat. To win, you need to look at the situation from a spiritual point of view. This is what the materials in the book “Coming to Terms with Illness”, compiled based on materials from the website boleem.com, help with. Many of the authors of this publication have suffered from a deadly disease or continue to suffer from it.

PARTING. How to live further...

In the problem of separation, divorce, as well as the experience of this situation, there are general patterns that are well known to the compilers of the book, based on their vast experience of working with thousands of stories on the Perezhit.ru websites. Not every relationship can be saved, but in any parting you can save yourself, your joyful, creative attitude towards life. A colossal number of people were literally amazed at how quickly, with the help of the site’s materials, and now the book, you can move from pain and despondency to peace of mind, gratitude and creative joy.

Authors and compilers: Mikhail Khasminsky and Dmitry Semenik

Fear for people who do not believe in the existence of the virus

The following person is concerned about:

“I have a lot of people who still don’t believe in the existence of the virus. There are even such in Italy. They say that this is all nonsense and quarantine will not help. In general, I don’t really care about their opinion, but there are a couple of people in Russia whom I would like to protect from the virus. I am very worried about them, they are not going to do anything and do not believe in the virus. I don’t know what to do.”

What do you mean I believe/don’t believe in the virus? I don’t know people who don’t believe in coronavirus, because it has been known since the time of “Tsar Pea,” but, for example, the President of the Republic of Belarus, Alexander Grigorievich Lukashenko, doesn’t really believe in quarantine, as I understand it. In Tajikistan, by the way, there was not a single case (at the time of the broadcast on April 7, 2020). In South Korea, not everything was closed; there were slightly different quarantine measures.

Why does a person want to convince someone of his worldview? Could it be that people are wrong? May be. You can advise sending some materials to your friends if it bothers him so much. But do not impose this information, do not try to convince someone. Keep peace within yourself. God gave everyone freedom of choice; there is no need to forcefully convince them of anything. Additionally, people from other countries may have had different stages of experiencing this crisis. Perhaps they are not used to it yet. So just give information, and let people think for themselves what actions to take, what to believe. To be honest, trying to impose is a little wild.

Fatigue and stress during quarantine

Another woman writes:

"Very hard. For me personally, it’s boys. Without movement they go crazy. Our dad works in one of the rooms; he has negotiations and needs silence. All this also accumulates fatigue and tension day after day.”

Naturally, this is difficult. We ran, walked, walked, got used to some kind of rhythm, and then settled down at home. Question: why should it always be easy and pleasant? This, by the way, is a very interesting question. Why does a person think that there shouldn’t be any difficulties at all? Of course they should, and they definitely will. It's inevitable.

Now is just the moment when you can learn to listen to others, teach the boys not to bother their dad in connection with the current situation. Use everything for good, and not see only some kind of horror in everything. Like Paisius the Svyatogorets: flies see a famous product on the field, and bees see nectar on flowers. And here it is the same story. “Bad…” - Yes, bad. But it won’t always be good, and that’s a positive thing. If you convince a woman to look at it a little differently, it will be good. The boys may not become immobile, but in any case they will learn to behave calmly.

Children see their parents' negative emotions

“During the quarantine period, some Russian mothers’ children began to wake up at night screaming and have nightmares. They say that children should not see our bad emotions and experiences in order to sleep peacefully and not be emotionally infected by their parents. But personally, it’s very difficult for me to push everything inside and hold it in day after day. I already cry sometimes in front of them, although I know that I’m wrong.”

The key word here is “wrong”. This woman believes that you should not cry in front of children. And why? Let's think about how these children will continue to live? Can we make a world in which there is no death, no sadness? This is exactly the moment when you can explain to a child, depending on his age, that difficult times have come and show him how these times pass. Don’t show that you are some kind of iron man who is not touched by bad emotions.

If we don’t show a child now that we can be upset, cry and worry, then when he grows up, he will also think that there is no need to show this. If he lives like this, this is a direct path to psychosomatics, to all sorts of serious problems. Now there is a huge opportunity to teach a child to empathize, to sacrifice something for the sake of his mother, understanding her emotional state, to explain that this world is not just some kind of paradise. It is very dangerous for children to believe that there is nothing bad in this world, no tears, no problems. They grow up like this, and then when they actually face a crisis, they don’t know how to react to it. This did not happen to them; their parents did not teach them to live through it. It’s a wonderful moment when you can teach this to a child.

Mom is absolutely right that she is crying. If she does not react with some emotions, then as a result her immunity may decrease. Other problems may appear - psychosomatics, family problems, and anything else. Why is this necessary?

Of course, you need to express emotions in front of children. But don't scare them with this. You can't be scared. It is necessary to explain in understandable language how the world works. To do this, of course, you need to comprehend this world yourself.

Are children worse than dogs?

“How not to be annoyed by dog ​​walkers? I understand in my head that they have nothing to do with it, but they have the opportunity to walk their dogs 2-3 times, but parents cannot walk their children. Children turn out worse than dogs.”

The point is that dogs can be walked, but children cannot. How not to get irritated? Yes, from the point of view of legislation, in this case Italian, apparently children are worse than dogs. But the legislator in this case does not proceed from the interests of dogs, but from the interests of children, who can infect each other, bring infection, etc. Therefore, they are not allowed to go outside and play. If you still understand that this is in the interests of the children, then I think it will be much easier for a person to accept all this.

Professional interests

The activities of psychologist Mikhail Igorevich Khasminsky are aimed at providing:

1. Psychological assistance to adults who are experiencing separation or divorce from a loved one.
2. Rehabilitation assistance for those who are experiencing stress from the loss of a loved one (death).
3. Support for patients suffering from complex somatic illnesses.
4. Help to prevent suicide through certain psychological work.
5. Victims in the territory of military operations, natural disasters, terrorist attacks.
6. Help for adults and children who have experienced an extreme traumatic situation.

And:

• carrying out work via Skype, promoting information about spiritual values ​​through an Internet resource;
• organization of volunteer activities;
• carrying out work in a segment of the social psychology section - crowd psychology.

Same thing every day

“I don’t want to wake up in the morning; all days have been the same for quite a long time. Is it possible to do something to avoid waking up in such a broken state? Is this normal?”

On the question of whether this is normal. Such a difficult awakening is one of the symptoms of depression. Indeed, day after day is the same: before there was a certain mode of operation. Now people have a disrupted routine, which will lead to problems associated with sleep disturbances and awakening. You need sleep hygiene, a shower an hour before, something good at night... Time before bed is an extremely important thing.

In addition, a general regime is needed. If in conditions of self-isolation a person does not have a regime, everything will become unbalanced, and then you will no longer be able to put anything together properly. This is a bad story. Therefore, here we would first like to establish a regime, sufficient physical activity, even in these conditions. Next, we work on techniques to overcome stress, and if it doesn’t go away, then you might think that it’s really depression. In this case, drug therapy may be needed.

Childlessness is felt more acutely

“For medical reasons, I was unable to become a mother,” writes a woman, she is 50 years old. “ Now, being in isolation, this especially depresses me. There is an oppressive, dead silence at home. How can I deal with this?

Let's start where we started - silence alone with ourselves. Please tell me you wrote that there is no child. What is a child needed for, to create noise? No. A child is needed to sacrifice something for him. Right? Give him something, teach him something.

Is it possible now, under these conditions, to give yourself to someone and teach someone something? Do you have internet? Eat. Can you volunteer in this area? You certainly can. But I will say again that this situation is because a person is afraid to be alone with himself, it torments him, he is scared. The saints, you know, went into the desert, calmly prayed, they didn’t need anyone, that’s why they left. Because they were familiar with themselves, with their soul, etc. But modern people, without exception, probably (I count myself among these people) are not familiar with themselves. We are rarely with ourselves, and discoveries frighten us.

Can you do good? Now is the time when we need to do good for someone. Volunteer work, some kind of creativity... Use it to the fullest extent. And don't think that you are poor because you don't have children. Many people did not have children, and this did not deprive them of the meaning of life or the opportunity to help. Please pray for everyone, including children, who are in difficult situations. This is also something that a believer can do. You can always help someone’s children in such a difficult situation. This also depends on legislation and other possibilities.

Interview with a crisis psychologist dedicated to World Suicide Prevention Day

MOSCOW, September 10. /AMI-TASS/. Today marks World Suicide Prevention Day, which is initiated by the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) with the support of the World Health Organization (WHO). The purpose of this Day is to draw attention to the million lives lost every year as a result of suicide.

According to the World Health Organization, the total number of deaths from suicide annually is about 800 thousand people. More than half of suicides are between 15 and 44 years old. According to experts, by 2021 the number of suicides may increase by one and a half times. People who decide to commit suicide use all sorts of methods, with the WHO citing 80 such methods. Most suicides prefer the centuries-old death by hanging.

According to 2006 data, the highest rates of suicide are recorded among the male population of eastern European countries, and the situation is also bad in Lithuania, Estonia, Russia, Latvia and Hungary. The lowest rates are observed in Latin America and Islamic countries. However, for Africa there is practically no data on this matter.

Every forty seconds on our planet, someone takes their own life, leaving behind mental trauma on an average of six loved ones. Meanwhile, experts emphasize that suicide can be prevented by being more attentive to each other. If you notice the difficult mental state of your loved one in time and turn to a specialist for help, you can avoid a terrible tragedy.

The famous crisis psychologist Mikhail Igorevich Khasminsky gave an interview dedicated to World Suicide Prevention Day, which is celebrated on September 10. Mikhail Khasminsky is the author of many articles on the topic of suicide prevention, consultant to the largest anti-suicide website in Russia “Pobedish.ru”

Statistics say that every day in Russia more than 100 people die by suicide. And this means that with a high degree of probability today, on Anti-Suicide Day, about a hundred people in our country will commit suicide...

M.I. Khasminsky: In our country, they try not to advertise numbers related to suicides. For the reason that in our country these indicators do not look the best: we rank second in the world in the absolute number of suicides. But real losses are many times higher than these figures. The fact is that for every successful suicide attempt, there are about ten to twenty more attempts that were not successful, if you can call the death of a person at your own hands “success”. Thus, if one hundred suicides occur in our country every day, then more than five hundred more people become severely disabled or chronically ill people.

Are you aware of global experience in combating suicide? What is being done in this direction in our country today?

M.I. Khasminsky: In many countries there are suicidological services that fight this phenomenon. But they are not able to significantly influence the situation. After all, the number of suicide attempts depends on the state of spiritual, mental, economic and psychological health of the entire society as a whole, and not on the number of doctors.

As for Russia, unfortunately, we can state the absence of any attempts on the part of the state to reduce the number of suicides. The situation in Soviet times was much better. At that time, a suicidological service operated throughout the entire territory of the Soviet Union, which dealt with epidemiology, suicide prevention, and research on providing assistance to suicide victims. At that time, people with mental disorders were identified among suicide victims, special medical care was organized in hospitals, and helplines for suicides were created.

In addition, it should be said about significant differences in the ideology of Soviet society and modern Russian society. If now we put money at the forefront, then then the well-being of society as a whole and each person in it was of great importance. There were social guarantees for the poor, and extensive work was carried out to educate young people, including the creation of various organizations, clubs, and circles that allowed people not to be left alone with their own problems. Now all this is in the past.

Today the government is developing and implementing large demographic programs, for which huge funds and budgets are allocated, but the problem of suicide, surprisingly, still remains without sufficient attention. But a huge number of young people, already born, already educated and just entering working age, die from suicide and become disabled!

Obviously, in this regard, it is necessary to develop and implement special preventive programs in educational institutions, in particular in schools. It is necessary to train at least school psychologists in the basics of helping those young people who show suicidal tendencies. More work is also needed in the military, which accounts for a significant proportion of all suicides.

And in this difficult situation, the school curriculum for literature includes Ostrovsky’s play “The Thunderstorm”, the suicide of the main character of which is interpreted as a brave act, as an adequate protest against reality! And considering that the methodological manuals that determine the school’s attitude to this or that work are state-owned, one may get the impression that our state consciously and, in the person of the Ministry of Education, officially recognizes suicide as a completely acceptable way out of a difficult life situation.

What is being done to combat suicide at the non-state level? How can public organizations influence the situation in this area?

M.I. Khasminsky: Unfortunately, despite the fact that we now have a huge number of public, humanitarian and human rights organizations in our country, I don’t know of any that would do the same thing we do, that is, comprehensive support people who want to die in such a terrible way. But to a large extent, the huge number of repeated suicides is determined by the fact that after discharge from medical institutions, suicidal people are left to their own devices, left without the supervision of specialists, with unresolved psychological problems, without spiritual support, without the strength to start a new life.

I know of only one public association that has created and maintains a large Internet resource, as well as a rehabilitation center to help people who find themselves in a difficult situation and want to commit suicide or have already attempted suicide.

I'm talking about the website "Pobedish.ru", created and supported by a group of volunteers, which provides qualified and completely free assistance to people on the verge of suicide. Volunteers, psychologists, doctors, through the forum and through interviews, conduct a dialogue with those who stand on the edge of life and death. People who find themselves in difficult situations are given the opportunity to be listened to and understood. About 600 people come to the site every day, and every day, only through reviews on the site, we receive 2-3 messages that a person, after just reading the articles that we prepared and posted on the site, has decisively chosen life.

The vast majority of those turning to Pobedish.ru for help are young people under 35 years of age. The problems that push such people to suicide are also different. But the predominant ones are those associated with love or family relationships, severe physical and psychological conditions.

What would you like to say to those who are having thoughts of suicide?

M.I. Khasminsky: It is very easy to take a step into this abyss, but it is impossible to predict the consequences that will happen after this. There are no 100% suicide methods. And every suicide person has a huge chance of ending up on disability instead. Suicide is an easy way to create new enormous suffering for yourself, your loved ones, and your society.

If you don't take this step, with some effort you can change your situation for the better. This has been proven by millions of people who were in even more difficult situations, but managed to win. Therefore, I propose to look for a real way out together and not make irreparable mistakes.

Interviewed by: Dmitry Semenik

Adult son violates self-isolation

“How can you explain to a 19-year-old over-aged kid that self-isolation is partly important for everyone if he doesn’t believe in God, or in coronavirus, or in self-isolation?...”

Maybe try to just move him away? Call him to account, saying that the virus can do things through you, so be kind, behave as you should in the boat. You know, in a crisis situation, someone must be in charge and someone must give orders. This is the only way a team can truly exist.

Of course, we need to talk about his responsibility. If it is recommended to do it this way, then it probably should be done this way. If he doesn’t understand, then “since you’re so smart at 19, then let’s move you somewhere for a while, and live there.” I think something like this, but of course more input is needed here.

Activity

This outstanding person, in addition to his main activities aimed at serving God through direct help to people, is also the author of many books, publications, and interviews.

Many of his articles are translated and published in English, Ukrainian, German, Romanian, Chinese and Serbian.

Conducts on-site seminars with practical work, teaches, and promotes spiritual knowledge through the Internet.

Gloating about the infection of priests

“How can I comment on people who are gloating that the priests have become infected with the virus?”

Listen, why don’t priests get sick with the virus? Fathers suffer from the same things. Priests are not from outer space. If someone believes that the priest is a holy pillar who does not get sick, speaks only the truth always and in all cases, and does not sin, then this is some kind of absurd idea about priests. There is something wrong in the person's mind. Therefore, it is necessary to explain that priests are the same people.