Regular sex is a great way to keep yourself in good shape and feel good. However, a permanent partner has one more advantage that cannot be overshadowed by all the benefits of frequent affairs. A long-term love relationship allows you to know your body perfectly, learn to listen to your feelings and make intimacy more exciting. And who else, besides your significant other, will be able to unravel all the erogenous zones and understand all the secret signals?
A long-term relationship is not only about responsibility. This is also a huge scope for exploring each other. If you have found your happiness, but do not know whether your connection is strong, it is recommended to pay attention to night games. There are several most common types of sex that are present in any strong couple. If almost all of them are present in you, then you can safely count on the fact that you will live happily ever after with your loved one.
Myths about sexual relationships
Myth 1. The longer the relationship, the less passion.
Those. there will never be such passion as in the first months after meeting. On the one hand, this is true. During the period of falling in love, we are different, and the relationship is different. And it really won’t be the way it was. On the other hand, this is not true. Why? Because there are 2 aspects that affect the degree of intimacy and intensity of sensations in a sexual relationship:
- Novelty. We have good sex with a partner whom we haven’t known for very long, we don’t see him often and we fantasize a lot about “how wonderful he is.”
- Duration and intimacy of the relationship. When you and a partner whom you have known for a long time (and there is intimacy between you), there is no embarrassment, and you can tell each other what you couldn’t tell during your first sexual encounters.
Trustful relationships between partners contribute to emancipation.
Women's sexual experiences (including orgasm) are greatly influenced by a sense of security.
If a woman knows that if she becomes pregnant, a man will not abandon her, but will support and help her, then she feels more free and relaxed. This directly affects the ability to experience pleasure.
If a woman knows that a man is married or might leave her (and even more so, you don’t know what to expect from a stranger), then this does not allow her to relax and get the maximum pleasure from sexual relations.
Change yourself, change your life
Life continuously continues its course regardless of current events. Every day brings something new. This does not always affect us. But even just growing up, we change our views, habits, and preferences. Do you remember when we were children there was food that seemed disgusting and disgusting? Of course, some products remained intolerable, but many acquired different shades.
Change your wardrobe
Even buying a new dress or a set of beautiful dresses will help improve a woman’s mood. And when you feel beautiful and attractive, others will also consider you that way. And your mood will immediately improve, right?
And new clothes are also a reason for your husband to undress you. Set rules: let him undress you blindfolded or only with the help of his teeth.
Find new hobbies
When life begins to seem dull and monotonous, then this is the right time for new beginnings. Surely you have something that would be interesting for you to do. So find yourself a hobby.
How will a new hobby help improve your intimate life with your husband? At the very least you will cheer yourself up. And a good mood is contagious. Your life will also sparkle with new colors, it will be rich and interesting.
You will become a more interesting conversationalist for your spouse. By and large, sex is in the head. When you become interesting to your husband, and he sees that he no longer knows you inside and out, he will have a more erotic desire than just discussing something new.
Change your hairstyle
You don’t have to move to another city or country, take a new job, or shave your head to diversify your life. You can simply refresh your haircut or choose a new look. This advice is especially relevant for those who have been wearing the same hairstyle for 10 years.
Find an experienced professional who you can trust with your beauty. But even if you are dissatisfied with the results of the experiment, do not be too upset. Your hair will grow back and you will return to your usual look after a while.
What suppresses sexual relations between spouses
- The appearance of children. The last stages of pregnancy and the first months after the birth of a child are a special period when the sexual needs of men and women are very different. A man's needs do not change, but a woman's body is under great stress.
What to do? When your trends in your sex life change, remember that they don’t have to stay that way for life. For many couples (as has been observed), after the birth of a child, the amount of sex decreases significantly, and this situation persists for another ten years. It shouldn't be this way. Pay attention to this!
If direct sexual intercourse is not possible, there must be substitute forms of satisfying sexual needs.
If sexual needs are not restored to the previous level, contact a specialist: a sexologist and a gynecologist.
Sex is a direct reflection of what happens in a relationship. Don't manipulate intimate relationships! A long-term unmet need will be satisfied with another partner.
- Changes in the rhythm of life. Sexual activity changes with the pace of life. More work, more workload, more stress.
- Resentment. One of the strong factors in reducing sexual activity for women is resentment.
If a woman is offended, she cannot want a man, and refusing sex as a “punishment” will lead to psychological problems.
For many men, relationships, intimacy and sex are completely unrelated things.
Read more: Gratitude to a man, or how to get the most out of him?
The main problems of sex in family life: alcohol
When considering the harmony of human relationships, one cannot help but touch upon such an aspect as the use of alcoholic beverages and their impact on the sexual sphere of life. It is widely believed that alcohol is a potentiating agent that enhances sexual function. When drinking alcohol, the emotional sphere is disinhibited and the higher forms of mental control are partially blocked, sexual desire is activated, the level of moral and ethical barriers is reduced, and sexual contacts are facilitated. At the same time, erection and duration of sexual intercourse increase. Thus, the impression is created of the stimulating effect of alcohol, but this impression is deceptive.
Alcohol, like a two-faced Janus, on the one hand, enhances desire, on the other, makes it difficult to realize. Alcohol abuse is one of the main problems of sex in family life. Many men, already in the initial stages of systematic alcohol consumption, at least in small doses (a mug of beer, a glass of wine, 100 ml of vodka, etc.), despite a slight increase in sexual desire, experience a weakening of erection, dulling of voluptuous sensations, difficulty in achieving ejaculation and orgasm, loss of ability to re-act. According to various authors, impotence in men and frigidity in women occurs in 50-80% of systematic alcohol drinkers. Sexual intimacy is the final chord of communication between two souls, the harmony of which is impossible without a preliminary spiritual, psychoerotic attunement.
The rudeness, primitivism and cynicism of an alcoholic in the process of intimacy negatively affects the emotional sphere of a woman, infringes on her dignity, and suppresses the spiritual side of the relationship. Against the backdrop of constant alcohol consumption, personality degradation occurs; Out of disgust and contempt for her husband, the wife develops psychogenic inhibition of sexuality, which, in turn, leads to frigidity. Alcohol is a powerful destructive factor for families. According to various authors, the husband’s drunkenness is the reason for divorces in up to 40% of the total number. The situation is even more dramatic when a woman gets used to alcohol; here personality degradation occurs at a deeper level, and even treatment for alcoholism is more difficult for them. The tragedy also lies in the fact that drunkenness ends disastrously not only for the health of the drinkers, but also for their children, who, as a rule, are born to such parents as mentally retarded, mentally ill, and deformed.
True, sexologists believe that during sexual intercourse, a moderate amount of alcohol will allow you to relax, reduce indecision, help you forget about shyness, and lead to some kind of liberation, but this is the maximum permissible dose for a person weighing 80 kg - half a gram! pure alcohol. Drinking more can lead to fewer love opportunities. Therefore, in this matter everything depends on the measure. Therefore, alcohol should not be considered as a means of improving potency. For many men, it is this substance that leads to impotence, and especially its use in unlimited quantities. By the way, for the information of beer lovers: the hormone contained in beer reduces sexual desire.
Sexologists allow a glass of good wine, and only if you are not planning to conceive a child. This can lead to pathology in the development of the fetus, which is why in the old days newlyweds never drank before their wedding night. Alcohol should not be the rule for sex.
And one more misconception of our men: to maintain male strength, you need to eat meat. By the way, foods containing large amounts of fats and carbohydrates, alcohol and fried foods have the opposite effect on desire and sexual performance - they negatively affect blood circulation, which makes erection difficult. Products that promote love attraction, the so-called aphrodisiacs, have long been known in the world. Here's a tip from Ayurveda: use pumpkin seeds as an aphrodisiac an hour before sexual intercourse by frying (over low heat) a small amount of seeds for 15 minutes with 1 teaspoon of ghee and a pinch of salt.
How to maintain passion between a man and a woman
1. Frequency. Sexologists have come to the conclusion that a healthy sex type is 2 sexual intercourses per week. This is the norm to strive for. If sexual energy is not kept in a certain cycle, it begins to fade.
- What determines the amount of intimacy in your life?
- During what periods does it improve?
- During what periods does it worsen?
In any area of our life, lack of systematicity leads to destruction.
2. Rule of touching. When in a family, as a tradition, the rule of touching is preserved. When you have physical contact during the day. If you begin to experience only brotherly or friendly feelings towards your husband/partner, then this is directly related to the fact that you do not have any common experiences. Or there is a coldness associated with unspoken grievances. And here we need to solve psychological problems.
3. Experiments. If there are experiments in sexual relations (from changing places to sexual toys), then this refreshes physiological sensations. You experience positive stress together. And joint experiences of any stress lead to rapprochement.
Under no circumstances should you generate sexual energy all the time from an external source (watching erotic and porn films and pictures). Because addiction occurs.
4. Attention to your sexual impulses. Be alert to any sexual impulse. We don't notice how we suppress sexual impulses throughout the day. Take a step towards your response. After all, appetite comes with eating. And sexual inclusion comes during sexual intercourse.
Improvement of intimate relationships with age and experience
There may be crises, lulls, and disappointments in relationships. But don't be lazy! Do something to improve the quality of your sexual relationships. Speak up yourself and ask your partner about fantasies,
Ask yourself the question: “What can turn on sexual energy in you?”
There are things, accessories, circumstances that turn on sexual energy in a woman. When a woman feels that she is a Woman, that she is sexually attractive. Find something that will make you feel like a “cat” (this could be a nightie, lingerie, dress, slippers, jewelry, etc.)
This is a must do. This is as important as food, as warmth in the house, as light - this is what relationships are built on.
Write down what details include the woman in you. Which includes your sexuality.
A man’s desire to maintain a sexual relationship with a woman motivates him to do something and please the woman. When a man has good sex, he wants to keep that good sex. All achievements of mankind (discoveries in science, business, conquests) occur so that a man proves something to a woman and, as a result, gets sex.
Read more: Are husband and wife one Satan?
We can improve our sexual relationships only by improving our sense of ourselves as a desirable partner.
Myth 2. A woman becomes less interesting sexually with age.
Women (both young and old) are different. But an older woman has her own advantages that allow her to remain sexually interesting to men.
Advantages of an adult woman:
- she is more experienced;
- she is more relaxed;
- it is more diverse;
- she knows how to talk about uncomfortable topics. For many women, after 40 years, their sexual energy is only fully revealed.
An active sex life affects how a woman looks, her hormonal system, and what happens to her in life.
Development of vaginal muscles
Childbirth, a sitting position, and a sedentary lifestyle weaken a woman’s vaginal muscles. When a woman strengthens the work of her vaginal muscles, her and her partner's sexual sensations become more intense.
In any area of life in which you want to succeed, you must find aspects that strengthen you. If you want a good sexual relationship, you must develop your sexual energy to make it work.
For most modern people, sexual desires are suppressed by problems, worries and other thoughts that do not strengthen relationships, but only weaken them.
How to increase sexual interest in a relationship
Answers to questions from sex therapist Yuri Petrovich Prokopenko:
Is there sex after marriage?
How to make sure you enjoy your intimate life?
What diseases threaten unsatisfied sexuality?
The longer a couple is together, the more sensitively and sensitively we react to insults and insults.
To improve your sexual relationships, you must, in principle, improve your relationships.
Observe how many times a day you criticize your partner, how you criticize him. How does the topic of sex manifest itself in your relationship? Are you talking about this? Are you watching something?
Recommendation. Watch together programs about sex (not porn!), the film “Sex and the City”. This will create an opportune moment for you to discuss your sex life.
Different libidos between partners9
Libido is sexual desire, a “value” that determines how much a person needs sex. For some, once a month is enough, while others can do it twice a day with their wife, and on the way home from work they can drop in on their mistress and work with their hands a couple of times. We are all human and we are all different. Spouses must understand each other and sexual desire is not the last point that needs to be taken into account.
In this situation, only a conversation with a partner will help. Try to understand him if he needs more sex than you. No, you don’t need to climb into bed every time just to satisfy your spouse. You need to have a sense of self-importance. But it is still necessary to try to delve into the problem if you want to save your relationship.
Flirt and play
Our inner child and his ability to play (to be sincerely interested in some activity or process, to treat it creatively and to be happy with what happens) is responsible for sexual relationships.
The game includes the energy of freedom, liberation, childish spontaneity, and this is directly related to the energy of sexuality. We can experience excitement and inclusion when we feel, first of all, protected - when we know that we will not be criticized, we will not be scolded, we will not be accused of something, we will not be reprimanded.
Become a playful child for your partner who is easy to be with.
Stung Reactions
We choose how much and how we react to something. If you don’t focus on the negative and add a wave of interesting communication, then sexual relationships will return on their own (subject to the rules stated above). Sex is just as important for a woman as it is for a man.
A dissatisfied woman is more noticeable in behavior than a man.
Advice from an imbuilding instructor: “if a woman does not have a partner at some stage in her life, she should still find an opportunity to get sexual pleasure.” In this way, the woman will maintain her mental hygiene.
For a man, sex is not only pleasure, it is also a form of power, it is control of society.
Bringing passion back into a relationship is easy if you focus on the desire for good, quality sex. If you change the feelings in your family, in your home, in your attitude towards yourself, then all this begins to happen naturally. You yourself will begin to understand and feel what you should do in a given situation, how you can express yourself right now, and how it will work for your partner.
Read more: Words, how not to cause harm?
If you want to enjoy sex, you must take care of it. There is no need to wait for a partner who will come and figure out how to do well for me.
This is just a topic that needs to be dealt with. If you don’t know what liberates you, what excites you, what gives you the most intense sexual sensations - look for it, try it, read it, touch yourself, think about it, pay attention to it.
Sex prolongs youth.
Quick orgasm3
Many have seen in films how some couples, in a fit of passion, attack each other right in the kitchen or in the elevator. All this has to do with reality, because if you are able to experience passion, it means that your feelings are still as strong. Try to periodically arrange such “races” for yourself with your loved one in order to once again experience the beauty of spontaneity.
Interfering Beliefs
If you associate sex with something shameful and wrong, then you will always come up with some ways to avoid it - you want to be correct and decent. Observe whether you have limiting beliefs about sex. Answer the question - what is sex in your life? What does it mean? Is it good or bad?
What are the first restrictions you have:
- It's good if...
- It's bad if...
Work through each belief by answering the following questions:
- Where do I get this belief?
- Was the person who gave them to me happy in sexual sensations?
- What were the person's motives when he spoke to me about sex like that?
- Does this belief make me a better, happier, more open person?
If your answer to the last question is “no,” you must consciously decide that you don’t need it.
Bytovukha2
The first and most common reason for partners to cool off towards each other is the so-called “everyday life”. It is because of this that passion fades into the background, and questions about how to feed the family, what kind of saucepan to buy, and how to quickly submit a boring report at work come to the fore. Of course, in such conditions there can be no talk of any ardent feelings.
What can be done in such a situation? The answer is very simple and banal - you need to get distracted. If you feel that you have become overwhelmed by daily tasks and problems, then rather take a vacation and spend it with your spouse. If you don’t hurry with this, then this is fraught with constant refusals, or just sex, which will only be to relieve tension and fall asleep faster.
The second most common reason may be the excessive ease with which sex is obtained by partners. After all, what is already available every day ceases to be desirable. There is only one piece of advice - in order to warm up to each other again, you need to not see each other for some time.
Business trips, trips for work, short separations for other reasons - all this should be perceived easily, as a test of feelings, but not a problem. Over time, sexual desire will have time to increase again and sex will remain constant for a long time.
