Quite often we are faced with the fact that in our modern society they try to impose on us that there is nothing wrong with adultery and it is not a sin. And how good it is that we are still able to realize that this is far from the case.
Asking the question whether betrayal is a sin (in this case, it does not matter whether it is male or female), we feel manifestations of conscience within ourselves. It’s good that we are still thinking about it, eighty years ago people didn’t even ask such a question, but clearly knew that, of course, betrayal is a sin. The consequences of which will not bring anything good to anyone. We, in turn, begin to doubt: is this a sin? I wonder, in the same eighty years, people will be just as scrupulous about this issue? Or will they not even bother with this topic?
How to protect love
Often young couples, having acquired the status of “married,” try to protect their marriage and find the necessary guarantee to preserve it. And then who knows what! Some people run at a trot according to “sorcerers” and “fortune tellers”, necessarily “hereditary”, some trust astrologers, stars and numbers all their lives, trying to predict long and cloudless family happiness, and some resort to the Sacrament of Wedding, turning to to God. Do these actions provide any guarantees? For some reason, people think that by completing all these manipulations, they will receive reliable protection against betrayal for all occasions.
However, the feeling that you have been absolutely promised something is always false. And no one can truly give you a guarantee that your family will not suffer the fate of the Titanic. It all depends on you, no matter how banal it may sound.
The meaning of the wedding ceremony
The wedding ceremony is sacred; it blesses the couple in love to live together in love and mutual understanding. Couples who decide to get married show the seriousness of their intentions in the marriage union.
Very often, married people think that this ritual guarantees a happy family life without any trials or obstacles. But this feeling is false. Christianity cannot guarantee anything at all; it simply calls on people to follow the commandments and live according to the laws of God.
Lovers believe that church rituals act on their own and provide them with a certain list of benefits. Any of the Sacraments held by the church opens up the opportunity to receive salvation, forgiveness or family happiness through constant work.
The wedding ceremony is the beginning of a joint journey, giving spouses the opportunity to cultivate sacrificial and mutually giving love that fills each of them. And for this you need to go through feat, through dedication, through the cross.
Cheating theory
Sometimes you hear that adultery is an integral part of marriage, which cannot be avoided and which can even strengthen the family! Many people no longer consider this a sin. In this case, people are simply trying to whitewash themselves and their actions, justifying their sins. After all, a person needs strength and reason in order to cope with betrayal, which, in principle, is incredibly difficult, and sometimes impossible, to overcome and survive. It is clear that it is not always possible to forgive betrayal, and sometimes, even having forgiven, you cannot forget it throughout your life.
There is a whole modern theory with a now fashionable name - “easy turning to the left”. Like, spouses should have fun this way. It seems that even this will increase the attraction to each other. In reality, this is just one of the variants of lies, which are quite popular today and are often used as self-justification for one’s vile actions.
What is happening in reality? People, experiencing love and tenderness for each other, swear allegiance, each tries to entrust himself to the other as much as possible, to open up, to let him into his life. And then, after everything, betrayal occurs, like a nuclear explosion. Which is capable of killing, destroying, destroying both the person himself and his entire family. At the same time, it is unlikely that anything else can be saved and restored from this ashes.
Consequences of adultery in a married marriage: answers from a priest
It is no coincidence that the commandments read “thou shalt not kill,” and then immediately “thou shalt not commit adultery.” Murder and treason are almost equal in their destructiveness.
“People who experience betrayal feel as if they are being killed, and this mortal wound never heals,” says the rector of the church, Archpriest Alexy Uminsky.
He who does not remain faithful to his wife or husband will certainly perish, even if he has thousands of virtues.
A fornicator cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven, since copulation with an illegitimate spouse is a grave sin, adultery, which will certainly be followed by appropriate punishment. Therefore, the adulterer harms himself more than his “other half.”
From adultery that has occurred, great disasters occur that destroy homes, love dries up from it, and everything good inside and around a person is destroyed.
How to fix the error
Of course, a husband or wife who has committed the sin of infidelity may realize that they were mistaken, come to their senses and try to regain the lost quiet family haven. After all, people, unfortunately, tend to forgive themselves much earlier than the one to whom they have offended should forgive them. And along with self-forgiveness and self-justification, the thought immediately comes that it is now necessary to “start over” and live “from scratch.”
But, unfortunately, there are things that it is possible to forgive, but not everyone can forget. A devoted spouse would be happy to do this, but cannot. Is it really possible for a disabled person who does not have, say, an arm or a leg, to forget about this? This is exactly how one can accurately describe the state of a person who has experienced adultery. It is as if he is being deprived of some vital, native, familiar part of the body; it is no coincidence that one very wise book says: two will become one flesh. And then how can you forget this? Very few people are able to forgive something like this. Like this…
We will not now understand the reasons for adultery. There are always a lot of them. And often, when such a sin is committed, both are always to blame to one degree or another: both the husband and the wife. This is almost always, with rare exceptions, the mutual fault of both husband and wife, who could not or did not manage to save what was given to them at the beginning of their married life.
Be that as it may, this fact does not bring anything good to the person who committed this sin. This act has a devastating effect on his family, on all his loved ones, and changes himself... He may not even notice it, going further and further into the deep jungle of self-justification.
It feels like he's losing his mind. And this is not surprising, because when betrayal occurs in a married marriage, where vows are made to each other before God and God is heard, something clearly unfavorable happens to the cheater himself on a metaphysical level. Well, such a grave sin cannot leave the culprit the same. He loses something important in himself that formed, supported and nourished him. It’s not for nothing that they say: you cut yourself down at the roots. A person begins to lie more and more, justifying himself, looking for all sorts of ways to protect himself, blaming his loved ones for all the unimaginable sins. Sometimes he even tries to take some, in his opinion, “right” steps, however, he doesn’t really succeed in this either. After all, he has distorted himself so much by the sin he committed that any of his next actions, even if he tries to do it in theory correctly, still takes him somewhere in the wrong direction. Never before during the existence of humanity on Earth has betrayal brought anything good to anyone...
So is cheating a sin? Let's try to turn off our consciousness from the outside world and listen to our conscience - of course, it is...
Description of infidelity from a Christian point of view
Betrayal in Orthodoxy is characterized as a temptation, a test by the devil; it has nothing to do with the power of love. Faith is, first of all, complete obedience to a whole series of commandments that have equal force among themselves. Among them there are no major and minor, solid and frivolous.
It is believed that a true believer is one who lives “in his heart with God,” completely bowing to all the rules, because by breaking one, over time, you can fall under the influence of other vices that destroy life.
The priests insist that marriages in the church take place only with sincere consent and the strongest feelings of both parties. The Church is a temple that unites close souls, promotes rapprochement and procreation.
The Bible says about infidelity that the role of a mistress for a married man is ugly, unbecoming for a real lady. The lady who took her husband away from his home is a great sinner, a temptress, and the husband himself has fallen in the eyes, has not passed the test, he is mostly unworthy of his wife.
Orthodoxy adheres to the principle: the merging of souls with the help of a priest is the main guarantee of the birth of love, which is blessed by the Lord himself; a noble place for conducting the ritual allows you to create strong family ties on earth and in heaven. It is generally accepted that relationships should be legitimized in order to experience the happiness of devotion, the most desperate, wonderful feelings and emotions that happen in the life of a woman and a man. We must love, respect and take into account not only our own interests, but also those of our close circle.
The sin of treason has no justification; of course, the culprit will be punished.
It’s not only about the moral side (conscience, depravity, fear of exposure, a sense of shame), but also, perhaps, overtaken by cruel realities: quarrels, proceedings, divorce.
Way out
The issue of betrayal is quite sensitive, no one can ever provide a guarantee that he will not succumb to adultery on the side, there are various situations that can influence, people come across on the path of life who know how to manipulate, suppress the will, and persuade. The people are sinful, some to a lesser extent, and some to a greater extent, such is nature. There are banal cases of loss of reason - real commitment, it can occur at any age, but what to do if the vow has already been made, not to sacrifice yourself and not to live with an unloved chosen one? The answer is quite simple, the main task is to avoid apostasy, for this you simply do not need to lie. The only thing required in such a situation:
- find a way out for yourself, gather your thoughts;
- discuss this issue with your family;
- be as honest as possible, unpretentious, not improve the facts;
- make a joint decision.
It is worth noting separately: there are no unsolvable problems, perhaps the options seem imperfect, inappropriate, but in this way, not only selfishness will appear, but also good character traits - care, respect for neighbors.
The position of the traitor is not the most advantageous, but the other side suffered much more: shock, resentment, humiliation, and certainly no one will be happy with betrayal. How to forgive your husband's cheating advice will it help? It is necessary to listen to your own heart, draw conclusions from the current realities based on your thoughts and the degree of repentance.
A person who has cheated should in no case fall into despair, give up, if he made a mistake once - this does not mean that life ends, you should not stigmatize yourself, all that remains is to fight for your happiness, try to correct the situation for the better (in the family or already for the better). its boundaries). First steps to forgiveness:
- confession, repentance;
- prayer;
- communion;
- keeping the commandments.
Sooner or later, romance ends in any relationship, a crisis ensues, but honor and praise to those who manage to remain faithful despite all the problems. Forgiveness must still be earned, a difficult path to it must be made through repentance and regret.
Why is apostasy a terrible sin?
In Christianity, adultery is a destructive turning point that makes major adjustments to the path of life. Should we forgive betrayal and what does the Bible say about it? – Even if the couple themselves do not pay significant attention to this, are not inclined to dramatize and reproach each other, then the Lord will judge the adulterers in any case, the essence lies in the following aspects:
- several commandments are violated at once (lying, betrayal, blasphemy), which is considered a significant reason for condemnation;
- the individual who has been betrayed has every right to divorce. To the priest, some reasons seem petty, unworthy of separation, for example: not taking into account the dissimilarity of characters and temperaments;
- union is not considered for the benefit of sexual relations, but as procreation, which provides for one partner for life, the rest is perversion, a sinful process. It is not necessary to love each other (after a long period of marriage, taking into account all the shortcomings, subsided passion), if there is respect, then this is quite enough to raise joint children;
- this is an extremely serious and decisive step, which implies responsibility not only for oneself; it is a sin to treat such things with frivolity or selfish intent;
- the injured party has the right to decide on forgiveness or insist on divorce proceedings;
- It is unforgivable for a husband to leave his woman if she has not cheated, since he pushes her onto the path of infidelity and violation of marital obligations.
Adultery is a voluntary betrayal, a sexual relationship that is not always justified by love, often it is ordinary lust or a desire to gain new sensations and add variety. Historically, this vice has always been considered one of the most shameful and was punishable by death.
The feeling of falling in love does not give the right to cheat, because in itself it is distinguished by extreme purity and lightness, and sex will force you to deceive, deliberately cause pain, and lie. It is generally accepted that men are allowed more, and women are more resistant to temptation; if they take such a step, most likely, it will not only be carefully thought out, but will soon destroy the family due to her departure.
Tips for a cheater
The main thing is to take responsibility for your own actions, have courage, confess, repent, and ask for forgiveness. Not everyone is able to come and tell it like it really is. If a person acts properly, then he clearly experiences feelings, suffers, wants to be forgiven and, as a result, absolve the sin.
Disclosure also directly contributes to a sincere confession, which will soften the circumstances (sometimes). It is always necessary to know when to stop and stop in time, it is not for nothing that people say: “what happened once will not happen a second time, but what happens twice becomes a pattern.”
Keep track of life events, plan so that you don’t have to cry bitterly. It’s a much greater shame to hide, look for arguments, ridiculous excuses.
The role of the mistress
The “position” itself is quite humiliating; is this what a real representative of the fair sex wants and expects? Every girl should have the happiness of motherhood, a husband as an “impenetrable wall”, no need to downplay your importance, run after your married halves. It is excessively humiliating when the rest of the time is given, carnal pleasures are not a guarantee that the heart is won.
The great sinner is the one who speaks with pride about her actions, causing pain and harm to another woman, destroying, damaging a full-fledged family that took an oath before God and humanity. Those who take away female individuals from their family circle must ask themselves the question: what if I took away the wrong man, what prompted me to do this? There is no need to assume that you can get away with it and go unpunished; any of us needs to think before doing something stupid, because spent nerves will not return again.
Life is so beautiful, you should enjoy it to the fullest, and not ruin yourself and everyone around you. Girls, rejoice not at what “I stole,” but at the fact that you managed to build it yourself!
