Fear of death what to do? How to overcome and overcome it?

I think that some of you will be alarmed by the topic I have chosen, they say, why even talk about death ahead of time.

But it is attempts to generally avoid any reminders of death that are one of the signs of fear of it.

And such a powerful fear can poison the lives of many people.

The heroes of my article today know how to stop being afraid of death

Of course, they became the “heroes” of my material without knowing it, but do not use the experience of dealing with the fear of death of psychologist Elena Stankovskaya, actress Chulpan Khamatova, co-founder of the fund for helping sick children “Give Life,” and Australian Denis Wright, which for a long time was forced I was fighting a deadly disease, I couldn’t.

Definition of the concept

What is thanatophobia? Thanatophobia in psychology is a strong fear of death. And you can’t argue with the fact that this is the most acute experience in a person’s life. It affects everyone differently. For some, it is motivation for constant movement forward, an active life position. For others, it is a serious illness with the most serious consequences. In most cases, while solving pressing problems and the frantic pace of life, we simply “forget” to think about death.

Thanatophobia occurs when people feel their life or social status is threatened. Often the fear of death is a consequence of deep thoughts about the meaning of life and existence, the correct choice of the field of activity (creative and professional crisis).

It is interesting that Sigmund Freud spoke about thanatophobia. According to him, there are two opposing forces inside a person: the creative love of Eros and the destructive force of Thanatos. There is always an irreconcilable war between them, which leads to the development of a feeling of fear of death.

Realizing his mortality, a person experiences unprecedented anxiety. He, of course, tries to drive these thoughts away from himself. In this he is helped by a psychological defense mechanism that hides thoughts about death either in the subconscious, or even deeper - in the area of ​​the unconscious.

According to psychologists, pathological fear of death is a difficult to treat disease. The patient is always afraid of dying, every minute. Even when there is no visible threat or danger to his life. The most unpleasant thing is that it is not a passive phobia. It manifests itself in obsessive anticipation of death, depression and other unpleasant symptoms. Sometimes a person does not even understand what caused this condition.

Psychologists distinguish 4 levels of obsessive fear of death:

1. Somatic. A person is afraid of physical suffering. He worries about what will happen to the body after he dies.
2. Personal. Here it is important for the patient to know what will happen to his consciousness. He is afraid of losing control over himself, being left alone, becoming an inferior and insolvent person.
3. Social. At this level, the individual is afraid of the death of loved ones. He doesn't want to lose the relationship he has now.
4. Spiritual. People are afraid of the unknown, of what will happen to their soul. They are afraid of disappearing without a trace, possible retribution for their earthly actions, etc.

Interestingly, type 4 thanatophobia most often occurs if a person has a low level of depression, hysteria and other similar disorders. The second is typical for those who are not confident in themselves and their abilities, and suffer from excessive anxiety. Such people find it difficult to cope with the fear of death. It takes hold of them so much that they can no longer lead a full, joyful life. Moreover, their consciousness is paralyzed, so they cannot make quick and effective decisions in critical situations. Over time, the power of thanatophobia becomes stronger and stronger.

The strong fear of death is ambiguous in itself. Some thanatophobes are afraid of the unknown that awaits them after they die. For others, the worst thing is the last days, the suffering before death. It is especially difficult for those who believe in religious teachings about heavenly punishment and inevitable punishment for sins.

What traumas lead to the appearance of pathological fear?

If how to overcome the fear of death directly depends on understanding the reasons for the development of a phobia, then what exactly can become them? For example, what injuries do you need to remember? If a person was punished with a belt in childhood, and he remembered it for the rest of his life, would this be a basis for thanatophobia?

Of course, not every trauma received in childhood can transform into an irrational fear of death. Moreover, not all psychologists believe that physical trauma can be considered as a potential cause of the development of thanatophobia.

Observing a serious illness, agony, or death in a disaster of another person leads to an obsessive fear of death. It may not be a family member. Also, for a child, the death of a pet is a serious psychological trauma, especially if it occurred through the child’s fault, due to his negligence. It is not the fact of death itself that can be traumatic, but its consequences. That is, if a hamster died in front of a child, and adults simply threw its body in the trash, then this will definitely traumatize the baby.

As for physiology, some psychologists believe that an obsessive fear of death can develop due to severe pain, combined with fear and a visit to the hospital. For example, if a child fell from a swing and broke his head, lost consciousness, and woke up in a hospital room, then he will probably develop an irrational fear of death.

Symptoms of thanatophobia

Conventionally, symptoms of fear of sudden death are divided into 3 groups:

1. Physiological. These include: trembling in the arms and legs, arrhythmia, rapid breathing, nausea, excessive sweating, chills or fever, disturbances in the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract and even problems in the sexual sphere.
2. Mental. We are talking about panic attacks that are almost impossible to control, loss of a sense of reality, depression, and problems with sleep. The patient reacts violently and sometimes inappropriately to the mention of what he is afraid of.
3. Emotional. This is increased anxiety, constant tension, unmotivated aggression. Man always avoids talking about death.

Another problem is inhibition of personality development. In particularly serious cases, patients deteriorate.

Separately, it is worth mentioning the symptoms of thanatophobia in creative people. They are very worried about what they will leave behind. Because of this, they are simply obsessed with some super ideas. They become selfish, stubborn, and unresponsive to criticism and the opinions of others. In their thoughts only imminent death.

A severe form of thanatophobia also has its own symptoms:

1. Almost complete refusal to communicate with family and friends. Limiting your social circle.
2. Loss of efficiency, goals, guidelines, meaning of life.
3. Disturbance in the functioning of internal organs and systems.
4. The desire to overcome the fear of death with the help of alcoholic beverages or drugs.
5. Insomnia, interrupted sleep with frequent nightmares.

Most thanatophobes are lonely. This happens because they withdraw into themselves, behave aggressively and irritably.

What are the causes of phobia?

What should a person do who is wondering how to overcome the fear of death? Expert advice, as a rule, begins with an explanation of the need to identify the reasons why the pathology developed. Only by understanding why fear has become irrational can you cope with it.

The causes of thanatophobia include:

• psychological or physical trauma;
• desire for complete and absolute control;
• the presence of difficult to implement plans, unsatisfied desires;
• lack of demand, loss of life goals.

Of course, the reason for the appearance of irrational fear can be purely individual, but, as a rule, it can still be classified as one of the main ones. It is very difficult to figure out on your own why a phobia arose, especially if its origins lie not in the cause itself, but in a combination of them. Therefore, it makes sense to ask someone close to you for help. After all, in a frank conversation it is much easier to find the “culprits” of irrational fears than when thinking alone.

Causes of fear of death

There is no exact answer to the question of what causes the development of fear of death or thanatophobia. The patient cannot say at what exact moment this oppressive feeling arises. Each situation is individual.

And yet, psychiatrists have identified a number of factors that provoke the appearance of thanatophobia:

1. Believers often suffer from this fear. Many religions have teachings about the afterlife, where a person will inevitably face punishment, retribution for all his earthly deeds. Deviation from religious canons is especially severely punished. In this case, it turns out that the fear of death is replaced by the fear of punishment.
2. Thanatophobia is the result of fear of the unknown. In most cases, educated people with a high level of intelligence encounter it. They try to understand the essence of death, but they fail. Hence the increased anxiety.
3. Another reason for the development of fear of death is a personal crisis. A person analyzes the years he has lived and realizes that he has achieved little of what he planned. Because of this, he is afraid that death will disrupt all his future plans and will not allow him to carry out his plans.
4. Those who are accustomed to controlling every area of ​​their life are also very afraid of death. These are overly disciplined, pedantic people. They are afraid that they will have no control over the dying process. They fear both sudden death and aging, as well as what will happen in the so-called afterlife.
5. Thanatophobia also develops in cases where a person experiences a serious illness and death of close relatives and friends. Such a tragic personal experience leads to a change in values ​​and priorities. The individual begins to feel differently about life and everything that happens in it. He gets satisfaction from it, but at the same time understands that it can end suddenly. Trying to avoid death, thanatophobes do everything in their power to prolong life. They try to protect themselves from diseases, take care of their health, and lead a healthy lifestyle. And often this behavior turns into pathology.
6. The fear of death often arises in overly emotional people. They are easily unsettled by news about any disasters, cataclysms, etc. They vividly imagine these events, as a result of which thanatophobia develops. Some experts believe that the fear of sudden death is the result of zombification, which is successfully carried out by the media. Viewers absorb information about wars and criminal incidents. Some people perceive it normally. A suspicious and overly sensitive person passes it through himself so deeply that he succumbs to the so-called “social hypnosis” and becomes nervous and irritable.

There is another version of why the fear of death appears. Some psychologists believe that this is a completely normal phenomenon that occurs in the process of growth and development of each individual without exception. The only question is what the person will do next. Awareness of mortality confronts him with a choice: to move on or to stop developing and degrade. The first option automatically triggers reflections on the meaning of life and existence.

How not to be afraid of someone else's death? — advises Chulpan Khamatova

Often we experience panic horror not before our own death, but before the fact that our parents, loved one, child, close friend will die.
Waves of panic roll in because we can’t imagine life without them.

I hope that the story of Chulpan Khamatova will help you overcome this phobia.

Chulpan Khamatova is not only a great actress, but also a kindest person who has been involved in charity work for a long time.

She founded the “Give Life!” Foundation, which helps children with leukemia.

Chulpan is not just listed as a nominal co-founder, but actively works in this fund and communicates directly with his wards.

Naturally, he becomes attached to many of them.

Not all children have a chance of recovery; many, despite treatment, die.

I have always wondered how Chulpan Khamatova manages to remain steadfast when she is constantly under the influence of such emotional stress.

How does she cope with her fear of death?

I found the answer in one of her interviews.

Chulpan told the story that one day she was almost broken by a string of deaths of children who were dear to her, especially one girl.

She even thought about giving up everything, but suddenly the mother of this same girl called her and told her that she had dreamed of a daughter who stood on the sun-drenched shore and asked her to tell Chulpan so that she would not be upset about her death, that now she felt great and really happy.

Chulpan realized that she did not feel sorry for the dead girl, but for herself.

We, grieving the death of our loved ones, act as egoists and begin to think how difficult it is for us without them, without thinking that they may be doing very well now.

Don't be selfish, thinking only about yourself!

How to get rid of the fear of death

How to overcome the fear of death? First you need to realize that it is impossible to completely get rid of it. It will always be present in your subconscious. The only question is how strongly it will manifest itself.

Treatment of thanatophobia should be comprehensive and include medication and psychotherapy.

Taking medications

This is an effective way to get rid of obsessive bad thoughts with thanatophobia. But the doctor prescribes medications only in severe cases. It is important to combine them with psychotherapeutic treatment methods, the main goal of which is to find the cause of the disease, get rid of destructive attitudes and create a new model of behavior.

Medications used to treat thanatophobia include:

• antidepressants;
• beta blockers;
• neuroleptics.

They help reduce the severity of symptoms of the disease, reduce the number of panic attacks and neuroses.

Psychotherapy

How to deal with thanatophobia using psychotherapy? To help a patient overcome the fear of death, psychologists use the following techniques:

• confrontation;
• internal energy management;
• stimulation of adrenaline production;
• hypnosis;
• desensitization;
• neurolinguistic programming.

What do the listed methods of treatment provide? First, they help change the thinking of a thanatophobe. Secondly, they teach him to cope with stressful situations. And thirdly, they teach him techniques for relaxation, self-control, and maintaining clear thinking even in critical situations. The program for each patient is selected individually.

Hypnosis has proven itself well. Compared to other techniques, it has a number of advantages:

• safety;
• no discomfort for the patient;
• painlessness.

With each session, the severity of thanatophobia symptoms decreases. A person not only gets rid of depression, obsessive fear of dying, and anxiety. He receives motivation for further movement, self-development, and the implementation of some plans and ideas. In addition, recovery processes are launched in his body. The functioning of the heart and blood vessels improves.

How does the loss of the meaning of life and one’s place in it affect the development of this phobia?

The feeling of the meaninglessness of your own life is also a mental disorder. Thanatophobia in this case is not the main problem requiring the help of a psychologist. In this situation, it acts as a concomitant symptom.

A person who has lost understanding of his place in life, suffering from the meaninglessness of existence, deprived of recognition in society and being in demand in it, often thinks about suicide. Thanatophobia in this case arises as a defense mechanism that keeps a person from dying. It is she who forces you to wake up every day, eat, drink, and go outside.

Accordingly, in such circumstances there is no need to think about how to overcome the fear of death. The advice of a psychologist in this situation concerns the fight against the main problem. That is, it is necessary to regain the meaning of life, find a place in it, and realize one’s own “I”. Once this happens, the obsessive fear of death will disappear.

Independent work - advice from psychologists

Is it possible to cope with the fear of death on your own? It is possible, but only if independent work is part of a comprehensive treatment.

So, you need to understand and accept several important truths:

1. Everything in life is cyclical. People are born, live for a certain period of time and die. Remember what Woland said from Bulgakov’s “The Master and Margarita”: “Man is not just mortal, he is sometimes suddenly mortal.” And here we cannot change anything. It is simply impossible to protect yourself 100% from unforeseen situations.
2. Relatives and friends always remember the deceased. Fear of the unknown, lack of legacy for descendants, and uselessness is one of the reasons for the development of thanatophobia. Considering this fact, fill your life with good deeds, which in turn will give it meaning. This will help you take your mind off painful thoughts.
3. Remember that holding back your emotions will not lead to anything good. So talk about your fears with those you trust. Don't underestimate the support of loved ones.
4. The fear of death paralyzes, deprives you of a full life, joy and pleasure. Therefore, learn to leave your comfort zone. Develop, learn, do something new. If possible, go on a trip. An alternative is walking around your hometown alone or with friends. Use life to the fullest.
5. Remember that thoughts are material. Negativity sets you up for self-destruction. Fight him. This does not mean that you should constantly be in a state of euphoria and delight. Enjoy every moment of life. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. This will help not only reduce the fear of death, but also get rid of it forever.

Also, to combat thanatophobia, psychologists recommend deciding on a worldview. A clear position in life will help you form your own special view of death. You will understand its nature and inevitability, but it will not frighten you. On the contrary, you will do everything to live your life with dignity.

How can a believer cope with a phobia?

As a rule, believers are not afraid of death, because they are convinced that after death their souls will live forever. However, this postulate applies only to righteous people; those who lived in violation of the laws of God will face eternal torment. Therefore, many sincerely believing people are still afraid of death. But what frightens them is not the fact of death itself, but fiery Gehenna, hell and the eternal torment of the soul.

How can a sinner overcome the fear of death? Orthodoxy points out a very simple path - repentance and redemption. But sometimes believers, who sincerely repent of their past sins and atone for them every hour of their lives, are still tormented by obsessive irrational fear.

In such situations, priests advise remembering that death and life are inseparable. Consequently, fearing one thing, a person experiences horror of the other. You can cope with this condition by asking the Almighty for help in prayers. But besides this, it is necessary to change your attitude towards both death and life. Every day should be spent as if it were your last. As soon as there is nothing to be ashamed of, the obsessive fear of death will go away.

How to overcome the fear of death of loved ones

Like thanatophobia, it cannot be completely eliminated. Yes, and it is not necessary until it turns into an obsession.

Don't get depressed. If a person close to you is seriously ill, your negative emotions will make things worse for both you and him. Therefore, it is better to concentrate on improving his life. Enjoy every minute spent with your loved ones.

Remember that, unfortunately, we cannot control some processes.

How do unrealized plans affect the appearance of a phobia?

Sometimes a person suffers from thanatophobia only because he is very afraid of not having time to realize his dreams, plans, and satisfy his desires. Such people literally physically feel the passage of time; they are constantly in a hurry and, as a rule, often do not have time to accomplish what they had planned during the day.

How to overcome the fear of death caused by such a fear? Very simple. You need to include in your daily plan as many things as you can realistically accomplish. And besides this, you should stop dreaming, planning and wishing, you need to start implementing your plans. Each step towards achieving a goal reduces the level of fear experienced.

Interesting fact

It was said above that the fear of death is a completely normal phenomenon. But some people don't have it. And this is a pathology. These people include:

• those who lack empathy;
• those who do not know how to empathize at all;
• those who have clearly expressed misanthropy (hatred of others);
• persons who lack the instinct of self-preservation have a greatly reduced sense of danger;
• persons with a tendency toward sadism or criminal tendencies.

Such individuals do not enjoy communication. They also often have reduced sensitivity to pain.

Is it true that all people are afraid of death?

This is wrong. There are eight types of mental - vectors. For example, owners of two vectors - muscle and sound - are not afraid of death.

The muscleman perceives death as a return to paradise, the state before birth, when all his basic needs were satisfied through his mother’s umbilical cord - eat, drink, breathe, sleep. He has a particularly reverent, reverent attitude towards death. You may have met such people in villages; for them, a funeral is a solemn event.

The sound artist unconsciously knows that a person is not only a body. Because for him the psyche, soul, his internal state are more important than bodily needs. He “knows” that he will not die after death, so he is not afraid of it. In a state of depression, lack of meaning in life, he even waits for it as an opportunity to end the suffering of the soul.

Many other people are afraid of death to one degree or another, preferring not to think or remember about it without reason. And they touch on this issue only out of necessity, when they are faced, for example, with the death of loved ones.

But there are 5% of people with a visual vector in their psyche, for whom the fear of death can become a real problem.