Archpriest Vladimir Puchkov answers.
When almost a quarter of a century ago I decided to enter the seminary, I was not without surprise when I discovered that the majority of both my peers and older people had a rather specific attitude towards the clergy.
To the eyes of the majority, the priest then appeared in approximately the same light in which he was portrayed in the films of the nineties: a man “not of this world,” always walking (and maybe even sleeping) in a cassock, wearing a long beard and speaking with a characteristic expression. The priest, again, according to the majority, could not marry and eat meat, and with all this, the Church certainly had to pay him a lot of money. After several years, the philistine view of the priest changed, which was greatly facilitated by the widespread opening of churches. After all, when there are one or two churches in a city, then a city dweller has nowhere to cross paths with a living priest: one or two priests for the whole city have a lot of things to do, and the average person usually does not go to church. More precisely, maybe I would come in once or twice during the year, but it’s so far away, try to find the time, energy and desire! So, there were more churches, and, accordingly, there were more priests. The accessibility of churches, coupled with the interest in everything previously forbidden that took place in the nineties, led to the fact that priests began to be seen more often, communicate with them more often and intersect with them in a variety of settings. As a result, the average person somehow learned what real priestly life was like. As a result, there are much fewer ridiculous stereotypes. However, some topics arouse philistine interest, as before. And even though this interest is idle in nine out of ten cases, it is still much healthier than what it was a quarter of a century ago.
One of these consistently intriguing topics is the issue of marriage and celibacy among the clergy.
Celibacy among Catholics
Just like in past centuries, Roman clergy cannot have children or be legally married. Relations with women are strictly regulated and any violation of the sacred canons is punished. The only exceptions are low-ranking clergy; they can marry.
At the same time, when entering into a religious position, a man must be a virgin and never have intimate relationships with the opposite sex. And this is in addition to the fact that he undertakes to remain celibate for the rest of his life.
There is no norm without exceptions
That's probably what you thought as you read the previous paragraph. And, let me tell you, not without reason. Indeed, in addition to the Orthodox practice described above, there is, for example, Catholic practice. Very simple. In the Catholic Church there are no family clergy, except perhaps deacons. Celibacy is provided for priests there. And there is no alternative. And don’t ask about how priests manage without women, it’s hard for me to understand, because parish ministry is not a quiet life behind monastery walls, where day after day is the same and most of your problems, from financial to everyday, are solved for you. And yet, the Western Church values this establishment and perceives the celibacy of the clergy as an ancient tradition, justified in its own way and, of course, universally binding. At least, none of the Roman Popes, who had the opportunity to be convinced that compulsory celibacy not only does not make altar servers more worthy, but, on the contrary, contributes to sin and debauchery, decided to abolish compulsory celibacy for priests.
Such a phenomenon as celibacy also exists in our Church. It is in no way obligatory, it appeared relatively recently (and not without Western influence), and there are relatively few celibate priests in the Orthodox Church. But nevertheless, they exist and, together with widowed priests, they form a kind of layer of consciously or involuntarily celibate clergy who are not monastics, that is, in one way or another they do without women. However, in our deep post-Soviet times, when the Church has not yet had time to recover after decades of opposition to official atheism, parish service is often carried out by monastics.
Celibacy in other religions
Many people have a false idea of abstinence as a practice from the time of the emergence of Orthodoxy. Before this, this practice was followed by adherents of the cult of Vesta, a popular Roman sacred teaching. They were strictly controlled by the high priestesses, and those who broke the vow were buried alive in the Earth.
In Judaism there is also celibacy, but not as strict as in the Roman Church. Priests may refuse intimate relationships in order to obtain higher spiritual knowledge or enlightenment. For the same purposes, celibacy is observed by the ministers of Buddhism.
Consequences of abstinence
As a result of sexual abstinence, it is impossible to suffer significant damage or illness, but this greatly affects the psychological and physiological state of the male body. There are people who abstain from intimate pleasure due to lack of response to appropriate stimuli.
Also, abstinence occurs as a result of the inability to move on to a love relationship immediately after the first time. This is due to physiological saturation, which occurs against the background of pleasant and bright events, and affects the psychological state of a person.
Reasons for celibacy
The scriptures say that the relationship between a husband and wife can harm a person's spiritual purity. And, no matter how exemplary a family man he is, a man is obliged to abandon his wife and children, for God’s sake. Completely devote not only your soul, but also your body, to sacred service.
Over time, rejection of intimate and family ties became the norm for people of a spiritual order. In order to preserve their energy in the name of God, they abandoned their wives or did not enter into relationships at all.
Monks are of the opinion that the vow of celibacy is a necessary condition for the development of the spiritual in a person. After all, a wife and children can interfere with communication with the Lord, but during celibacy there are no obstacles to this. It is difficult to unambiguously evaluate this practice; it is not for nothing that throughout the existence of the religion, attitudes towards it have changed several times. To date, there is still no clear answer to the question of whether abstinence should be observed or not.
Sincerely, the Power of Abstinence project!
But how should it be?
Of course, you need to strive for ideality in everything. Even in things that are far from paramount and in which imperfections are more than forgivable. But if we talk about what the ideal is, then it, of course, is that monastic priests should serve in monasteries, and married priests should serve in cathedral and parish churches. Even in nunneries, the rules command that family priests be appointed to serve in order to avoid possible temptation. True, celibate priests do not fit into this scheme. Well, no wonder. This phenomenon, I repeat, is new and completely unconventional for the Orthodox Church. What can we say when everyone distorts the word itself as they wish? I remember how once, during my years at the seminary, one student asked me: “Which is correct: “celibacy” or “celibacy”?” After listening to the answer, he looked thoughtfully, first at me, then at his text and wrote... “celibacy.” However, as you understand, this is not an indicator.
At different times, the life of the Church included phenomena, concepts and things that were completely new and hitherto unfamiliar to it. And nothing, they took root, gradually becoming first tolerant, then normal, and then completely turning into a pious tradition. The celibate priesthood will also, I believe, take root. Moreover, it does not require taking any special “vow of celibacy” and at the same time promises much less responsibility than monasticism or marriage. At the same time, we should not forget that there are people who are loners by nature. They don’t need anyone, they feel good alone with themselves, in particular, men can easily do without women, and it doesn’t cost them any work or effort. It would be foolish to think that such a quality of nature could be an obstacle to the priesthood if a person is not going to take on the feat of monastic life. However, the percentage of celibate priests to married and monastics will remain in the future, I believe, approximately the same as it is now. Because celibacy promises far more inconveniences for priestly life than benefits, and it is not acceptable to everyone. After all, in its current diversity of practices, the Church has not deviated so far from the norm that the current state of affairs is not completely tolerable and does not have the chance of becoming one of the varieties of the norm over time.
The inner life of a monk in constant communication with the world
Report at the XXIII International Christmas educational readings, direction “The succession of patristic traditions in the monasticism of the Russian Church” (Sretensky Stavropegic Monastery. January 22–23, 2015)
The inner life of a monk largely depends on the internal rules of the monastery.
The monastery, like a spiritual cradle, takes in babies and gives them everything they need to grow for God. Prayer, as the main task of a monk, is not only a conversation with God, it is the atmosphere in which the soul lives, and monasteries, or ισιχαστιρηα - literally translated, a place of silence and peace - create the atmosphere that is conducive to prayer. Two words: προσ− ευχη, translated from Greek, make up the meaning of the word “prayer.” Ευχη means prayer, a wish as if in a static state, and in combination with προσ it means its direction or movement towards any person, with the aim of connecting with him. This person for a monk is Christ Himself, to Him he is called to constantly turn his inner gaze and heartfelt desire to unite with Him.
When such a desire matures in a person’s heart, he becomes uninterested in the world in which he lives; he loses interest in communicating with his loved ones, he loses his taste for everything worldly and at some point knocks on the monastery gates to enter... We can say that he heard the voice of God, as the prophet Moses once heard him: “Come up to me to the mountain and stand there...” (Ex. 24:12). And what is the result? - “...and Moses went up the mountain and the clouds covered the mountain, and the Glory of God came down...” (Ex. 24:15-16).
In the Old Testament, monastic life was prefigured by holy men, such as the prophet Moses, the holy prophet Elijah, and St. John the Baptist, who lived “in deserts, caves, and the pits of the earth...” (Heb. 11:38).
Moses was chosen by God to lead the people out of slavery and lead them to the Promised Land. Moses was almost always in a crowded environment, but most importantly, he did not stop being in constant communication with God, and God Himself instructed him and appeared to him.
Saint John the Baptist, before going out to the people to preach the Gospel, lived for many years, withdrawn from the world, in the desert - in fasting and prayer. And the people who came to him, seeing his harsh life, were surprised. Modern monasteries, like the different faces of Moses and John, essentially embody within their walls these different types of residence, united by one thing - an uninterrupted stay with God. Monasteries are an integral part of the Mother Church and remain an active organ in its living organism. They are like a heart that, although invisible, can be heard. Monks also wish to be invisible to the world, but the world hears about their good deeds. Monasticism is Easter, the transition from a spiritual person to a spiritual person. A person comes out of the world in order to be silent for the world and begin a conversation with Christ. By this, he in no way despises people and his relatives, but only his very attachment to them, the spirit of this world, since he thirsts for the Higher Spirit.
If they say about someone: “Here he is - a real monk!”, then it immediately becomes clear to us what is meant: a doer of inner prayer, a non-acquisitive person, not tied to the earthly world. A monk must build a vertical line within himself: being in the flesh on earth, with the mind in Heaven. Many such verticals are a single component of those pillars that support the whole world. The main thing is not to lose this vertical.
A novice who has entered the threshold of the first degree of monasticism in our monastery is given a blessing to wear a cassock, and she hands over her mobile phone and receives a rosary in return. The connection with the world ceases, or, more precisely, it changes. Only once a week, on Sunday, the nuns have the blessing to call their family and friends if necessary.
Monasticism, although it gives the impression of escape from the world, is a natural part of society. Monasteries were and are places of spiritual life for the laity, and monks are the spiritual fathers of the people who come to them.
One of the offerings of the love of monasteries to the world is that many monasteries operated and operate hospitals, old people's homes, schools and shelters in which pain, loneliness and orphanhood are treated. Monasteries have served and continue to serve as refuges for the expelled, as homes for the homeless, as workshops where they learn professions, and as educational centers for educating the young.
They asked Abba Agathon: “What is love?” And he, the blessed one, who had perfectly acquired the queen of virtues, answered: “Love is - if I met a leper, I would gladly give him my body, and if it were possible, I would take his body for myself.”
The meaning and tasks of monasteries are only spiritual, therefore nothing worldly should be present within their walls, but only heavenly things, so that the souls of inhabitants and pilgrims are filled with the sweetness of heavenly life. Work in monasteries should be proportionate to the physical and spiritual strength of the inhabitants and be a rest or release from prayerful work. When piety and fear of God reign in a monastery, and no worldly thinking is present in it, this pleases God, touches the laity and attracts them to the monastery.
“If we live in the Spirit, let us walk in the Spirit...” (Gal. 6:25), writes the Apostle Paul. If something is done in a monastery that is not in keeping with the spirit of monasticism, then the monks in that monastery will not have inner peace. In order to preserve inner peace and tranquility in the souls of the inhabitants, the monastery should not develop into some kind of profit-making enterprise, and modest monastic shops should not turn into shopping centers where a flow of buyers will flow, and not pious pilgrims seeking spiritual benefit.
If monasteries do have such trading centers, then their best location is not on the territory of the monastery, and they should not be served by monks. When lay people come to a monastery that lives with a monastic, and not an entrepreneurial, spirit, they receive benefits, healing of the soul, strengthening of the spirit and strength to further bear their earthly cross.
Regardless of whether the monastery is located high in the mountains, far in the desert, or in the center of the bustle of the city, the monastery fence has its function: it not only optically, but also spiritually protects, protects the internal life of the monastery from outside influences.
The laity should be received in the monastery cordially, in simplicity of spirit and love. They expect to see a different life in the monasteries, to “taste a little of heaven,” and for this they do not necessarily have to start conversations with the monks. Everything they need is given to them by the Lord Himself through participation in monastic services, the Sacraments of Confession and Communion. And a short stay among monastics in itself already has a healing effect on the soul.
“When we remain in silence,” said St. Seraphim of Sarov, “then the devil has no time to reach the hidden person of the heart; Understand this about silence in the mind. It gives birth to various fruits of the Spirit in the soul. From solitude and silence tenderness and meekness are born; in combination with other activities of the spirit, it elevates a person to piety. The fruit of silence is peace of soul, silence and constant prayer.” Through silence, the Monk Seraphim achieved the highest spiritual gifts and grace-filled consolations, feeling in his heart the constant joy of the Holy Spirit, which poured out into the hearts of those who looked at him.
In the monastery entrusted to me, communication between sisters is very limited, but, of course, not in the spirit of prohibition or blind submission. Our Abba, at the very beginning of our founding, instructed us with these words: “Beware of unnecessary conversations with each other. Especially in women’s monasteries there is such a danger of “getting sick with verbosity”... pay the main attention to prayer, because that’s what you came here for.”
The hotel sister meets pilgrims and answers the first questions they have; if desired, pilgrims can talk with the abbess. In the modern world, a person does not need bodily food as much as he acutely feels the need for spiritual nutrition. The diseases of modern society naturally pose new challenges for monasteries and require a special approach to solving them. Help at least one family not to collapse, support teenagers who must withstand enormous psychological pressure in schools, help as much as possible and tell the mother not to kill in the womb...
How can we determine the extent to which monks can participate in the life of the laity?
The Monk Paisius of Athos was asked about this, and he replied: “Monks can help the laity until they see that a person can already help himself. If we immerse ourselves entirely in the problems and sorrows of the laity, then we ourselves will soon become laity. It happens that a monk, under the pretext of helping the laity, commits acts that are alien to the monastic spirit. In this case, the laity do not receive any benefit from the help, but on the contrary, they are tempted, seeing in the monastics the worldly spirit they are accustomed to. There are monks who carry a worldly spirit within them, and vice versa - laypeople who have a monastic spirit within them. Therefore, upon meeting Christ, the schema will be removed from one and placed on the other...”
“If lay people want a monastic life, then they become saints, and if a monk wants a worldly life, then he goes to hell,” said the monk. Monks should try to help the whole world, first of all, with their prayer, because they are given time for this work. They are not bound by everyday responsibilities and therefore can and should help others if they themselves live in a prayerful spirit.
Unfortunately, sometimes it happens that a person comes to the monastery with his own worldly attitude and even with his own profession. While waiting for its use in the monastery, he does not even think about parting with his “wealth”. He actually brings a worldly spirit with him into the monastery, in which he continues to live. Lacking diligence in fulfilling spiritual obedience and in the absence of proper attention from the abbot, his mind is mainly occupied with external affairs and, in the end, becomes spiritually coarse so that it is impossible for him even when he is bound to sit in his cell. Every now and then he moves among the pilgrims, looking for a conversation with them, wanting to help them, show them the sights of the monastery... and all his attention is turned to perishable things (buildings, beautifully planted flowers, equipment, dishes). Such a monk openly shows to the laity his origin from clay, and not from the Spirit of God.
Over time, each monastery develops its own experience of maintaining silence and silence. This depends on many both internal and external factors. For example, is it possible to assume a silent life for monastic brothers and sisters who carry out obedience in the Holy Land? Almost impossible.
I know the experience of some monasteries, where on Wednesdays and Fridays the telephone is completely turned off and only the fax works. They are familiar with the Internet by hearsay. However, one of these monasteries maintains an orphanage and a home for the elderly, which are run by pious laymen. Twice a week, nuns with medical education, as well as catechist sisters, work in them, but on the remaining days of the week these nuns labor in their monastic order. It’s hard for me to imagine that in Germany, where there are only two monasteries, you can practice turning off your phone for two whole days... but you can try.
In one large, communal monastery, in which approximately 150 sisters work, the sisters are forced to find themselves “benefactors” who can pay for the most necessary things - medicines, fabric for monastic clothes, a one-time leave per year allowed...
The abbess of one of the Greek monasteries told us this summer that when she did not go to her father’s funeral, her mother and brother could not bear it and were indignant, telling her: “You are in delight! Is this a manifestation of the love that you monks are telling us about?” Her answer to her brother was as follows: “I still won’t be able to return the life of our father, but I can help him with prayer. I came here to the monastery to leave here for the Kingdom of Heaven, I have no other route.” Only after some time, thank God, did her relatives understand her action.
Communication with the world creates an obstacle to communication with God, since it is physically impossible to talk with two interlocutors at the same time. Listening to one, we leave the other interlocutor and vice versa. In addition, experience shows that when communicating with worldly people, visual or sound impressions certainly remain in the soul of a monk, which subsequently lead to distraction of the mind and are an additional hindrance in smart work, and in worst cases, a bait for the enemy.
Our Abba says: “When communicating with your neighbor, mentally build the Trinity: you are God - your neighbor. And so you will accustom yourself to see your neighbor through Christ as the messenger of God.”
A little from our experience.
Today our monastery is the only Orthodox convent in Germany. Pilgrims come to us from all Orthodox jurisdictions, from all over the world, and each with their own national temperament and church traditions. On each door of the guest cell hangs a reminder for pilgrims in Russian and German, with the help of which pilgrims can easily navigate the daily routine, services and general rules of behavior in the monastery. The day begins in the evening, and the liturgical cycle in the monastery begins at 18:00 in the evening - the ninth hour and vespers, after which a meal is served for both nuns and pilgrims. At 20:00 we serve Little Compline with the canon of the Mother of God from the Octoechos and, after joint prayers for the coming sleep, the rite of forgiveness is performed. After this, the sisters silently disperse to their cells.
“When leaving church, we should not throw the prayer like a rag, but carefully and in complete silence carry it to our cell,” this is how our Abba instructs us. “Monks must enter their cells like a priest entering the altar,” says the Bishop. From 4:00 to 7:00 in the morning morning prayers are read, the Midnight Office, Matins and the Hours with figurative ones are sung; on days when the Liturgy is served, the symbols are omitted. After the proposed meal or tea, depending on the day of the week, obedience begins. From 12:00 to 13:45 the monastery is closed for rest and the sisters and pilgrims are in their cells. After rest, 15-minute tea for everyone and from 14:00 to 16:00 again obedience. From 16:00 to 18:00 it is time for cell rule and spiritual reading. At this time, the monastery is closed to communication with the world. During these hours, pilgrims, just like the sisters, are not blessed to do anything else or walk around the monastery, disturbing the silence. The pilgrims' stay with us lasts three days. At the request of the pilgrims and subject to their participation in all monastic services, they are blessed to stay longer. We encourage pilgrims with children to wake up their children and bring them to at least part of the service. I saw such an experience in Arizona, with Elder Ephraim, where children from five years old, completely cheerful, came to the night service, which begins at about one in the morning... and waited for Holy Communion. Such experiences of adolescents shape their souls, sometimes for the rest of their lives.
In our monastery, the first floor is occupied by hotel cells for pilgrims, and on the second floor there are cells of nuns. In one building with a common corridor and refectory, two different worlds meet almost closely. Pilgrims are accepted as temporarily joining the already existing rhythm of monastic life. While participating in divine services and obediences, and often working together with the sisters, they do not have the blessing to talk with them, just as the sisters are not blessed to talk with pilgrims. During obediences, both nuns and pilgrims say the Jesus Prayer in a low voice. When it is played during obediences in a monastery, on the one hand, it protects the monastics from unnecessary external intrusion. On the other hand, perceiving it by ear, it is easier to remain in prayer, in remembrance of Christ, since we all know what kind of flights the mind of a person who begins to pray is capable of.
Thus, monks and laity, communing from the same Chalice and communicating with God in the monastery through prayer, thereby communicate with each other. It is prayerful communication that allows monks and laity to keep this sacred parallel between them undisturbed, which leads to one goal - union with Christ!
Monasticism has established itself and lives as an “army of the sacred,” a monastic and angelic city.
Monasteries are a blessing from God in the modern world!
How to cope with prodigal and carnal lusts if you are not married?
Estimated reading time: less than a minute.
Reader question:
How to cope with prodigal and carnal lusts if you are not married?
Archpriest Andrei Efanov answers:
Good afternoon! According to the teaching of the Holy Fathers, sin begins with the so-called “pretext.” A pretext is something that gives rise to sin (action or sinful thought). There are a lot of reasons for sin in the world, the question is whether you personally fall for it or reflect them from yourself. The surest way to repel the pretext is to pray to God for help, so that you will not be caught and drawn to those thoughts and actions that will be a sin or that will definitely and clearly lead to sin. And secondly, do not give in to thoughts and know how to switch from them to something - other thoughts or active actions (physical labor helps here).
In itself, such a life of the body is not sinful, but if it occurs in marriage, when the husband and wife love each other and unite into a single whole. Then this is a source of joy and space for becoming closer and, first of all, closer internally. The physical is in many ways an expression of the internal. And in marriage, I’ll tell you, you shouldn’t think much about this side of life - it’s not for thinking, but for living.
When a person is not married, it is more difficult to cope with such thoughts, because these desires also come from one’s own body, they are natural. What can I recommend?
Firstly, firmly understand for yourself that these desires can only be realized in marriage. This will protect you from actions that you will regret later. Next, minimize all irritants on this topic - movies, pictures, conversations, songs, and so on, so that your thoughts do not revolve around this topic.
When a thought comes, pray to God to stop it until the time you get married. Just don't let your imagination run wild. This can be a very difficult struggle, but with God's help it is possible. And in relationships, maintain some measure, some distance. And, if you have a fiance with whom you are going to get married, then I suggest you honestly discuss this topic with him (after all, he will be your husband, your closest person, so who else should you talk to if not him) and communicate in such a way that these desires do not develop - keep your distance from marriage. This way you won’t torment each other, and it will be clear that it’s not a matter of coldness, but a reasonable and Christian choice. And if there is no groom yet, you need to live, rejoice, play sports and have physical activity that corresponds to your age, and try, with God’s help, to postpone these aspirations until the time when you get married. In the meantime, pray to the Lord, the Mother of God and the saints that your marriage will develop in the best possible way and at the most favorable time for this.
God bless you!
