People say that a person dies when the people who loved him during his lifetime stop talking and remembering him. Preserving the fond memory of a close relative is a task that must be understood and accepted, regardless of the transience of our time and the pain of loss. Love and gratitude for all good deeds are difficult to express in words, and in order to properly honor the memory of the deceased, it is necessary to understand why and how a memorial service is organized in his honor.
Third day after death:
After the last shovel of earth has been thrown, wreaths, flowers and photos of the deceased are placed on the grave. A wooden cross is placed on the grave, then it can be replaced with a monument or slab.
You can remember the deceased directly at the grave. The workers who helped bury the grave should also be treated to ritual dishes. Meals and treats are a form of alms that we donate to other people. And the function of this tradition is only to make the person who treats someone feel peace and remember the deceased with a kind word. For this reason, a meal without prayer and to maintain form will not bring benefit to the person who has left this world.
How is the funeral dinner going?
The funeral dinner is the final stage of the service for the deceased. The menu for the funeral table was formed many years ago. Christians do not eat food at the grave, but only after returning from the cemetery. Before eating, it was necessary to bathe—to completely clean oneself, the room, and change clothes. Now, before eating funeral food, it is enough to wash your hands.
Etiquette rules apply at funerals. You should not come to them without an invitation. For table setting, ordinary dishes are used. Cutlery is placed on the deceased, and his portrait with a black ribbon is also placed. The invitees are seated according to the distance of relationship. The spouse, parents, and children should sit closest to the device. Guests who come from the cemetery must wash their hands and sit down at the table after being invited.
While eating, you should not talk or laugh loudly. The funeral dinner begins with lighting a candle and saying a prayer. The meal also ends with prayer. After food and prayer, those invited leave without saying goodbye.
Food that is not eaten is distributed to guests so that they can remember the deceased with it at home. Funeral organizers must remember that this event is not just a feast, but a ritual that pays tribute to the deceased. Therefore, the event should be held with all rigor and modesty.
All of the above applies to the baptized dead. Funerals for the unbaptized and suicides are also held. In this case, instead of a prayer service and liturgy, home prayers are read. In the church they pray for such dead people on Parental Saturday on the eve of Trinity, when prayer is performed for all the deceased.
Wake after funeral
The wake is not a church tradition, but it is blessed by it. Includes commemoration with prayer and meals.
Funeral on the third day
They are commemorated in honor of the resurrection of Christ and in honor of the image of the Holy Trinity. The first two days after death, it is believed that the soul remembers its good and bad deeds, soars above the Earth with the Angel in places that remind it of earthly happiness and sorrow.
On the third day, the Lord calls the soul to Himself. The soul appears before the face of God, and loved ones on earth remember it with prayer and kind words, thereby helping. On this day, after the burial, a funeral dinner is held. The table is set either at home where the deceased lived, or in a neutral place - the main thing is not to make a drunken feast out of commemoration and farewell.
Ninth day
They commemorate it precisely on the ninth day to the glory of the nine angelic ranks, which intercede with God for mercy on the deceased. For the previous six days, the soul, together with the Angel, has been in paradise and contemplates its beauty. These days she thinks about the life she lived on earth. And on this day the soul again appears before God.
Fortieth day
On the fortieth day after the funeral, it is determined where the soul of the deceased will reside until the Last Judgment: in hell or heaven. Also, forty days is the period after which Jesus Christ ascended to heaven after his resurrection. The prophet Moses fasted for 40 days on Mount Sinai, after which he received the Tablets of the Covenant from God.
Year
The largest liturgical cycle lasts a year. When the new year begins, the fixed Christian holidays are repeated anew. They commemorate this day because the date of death is the birthday in eternal life.
FUNERAL ORGANIZATION
ACCORDING TO THE ORTHODOX RITE
More details
How should you dress for a funeral?
According to the rules of mourning etiquette, a strict, classic, straight-cut, dark-colored suit would be appropriate for men. A light-colored shirt and tie are a good complement. It is allowed to have a dim and not too provocative pattern on the tie. A man should not wear a headdress. The exception is cases when it is necessary due to a particular religion. During the hot season, you are allowed to take off your jacket. As for representatives of the military service, it is acceptable to have a dark-colored dress uniform.
Women should wear a sober dress with a hem that covers the knees. The head must be covered; hats may only be removed indoors. A veil or scarf may be suitable. It is not advisable to wear any jewelry (with the exception of a wedding ring) in the form of earrings and chains to a funeral. Hair should be picked up, and the face should be free of bright makeup.
Days and holidays when it is customary to come to the grave
Arriving at the grave, it is customary to pray in your own words for the deceased or to perform a litiya - a short rite of requiem. You can read Psalm 91 and the Lord's Prayer. It is important not only to correct and renew the monument and fence, plant flowers and small trees, but also to remember a loved one with kind words. By these actions, the living seem to be caring for the soul of the deceased and reminding themselves of their own connection with eternity.
Memorial Days:
- birthday of the deceased;
- day of death;
- Day Angel.
Funeral meal
In order for the soul of the deceased to find peace, the Orthodox faith provides for a special ritual - a meal. Before it begins, those present perform the rite of requiem - lithium. If this is not possible, you need to read the prayer: “Our Father”, Kathisma 17 or Psalm 90.
The funeral meal involves special serving and the presence of special food that corresponds to Orthodox traditions. The eating of food begins with the serving of kutya. Kutia is made from whole grains (rice, cereals), seasoned with honey and sweet raisins, as a symbol of the sweet afterlife, and also sprinkled with holy water. An obligatory element of the meal is pancakes - a ritual food that symbolizes earthly ideas about the afterlife and the sun. Next, it is necessary to serve the first courses: soup, borscht or cabbage soup, since since ancient times the funeral meal was arranged with the aim of feeding all the participants in the funeral, those who helped dig the grave, carry the coffin, prayed for the deceased and, of course, it was considered a sacred duty to feed the poor or give alms . It was also believed that common prayer during the funeral meal would ease the path of the deceased to the Kingdom of Heaven. It is considered a tradition to serve such dishes as jelly, fish (mainly herring), kulebyaki, vegetable and sausage cuts. After the funeral meal is over, cookies are distributed to everyone present.
During the meal, those present are prohibited from consuming alcoholic beverages. Unfortunately, many families ignore this rule, which is why unnecessary squabbles and showdowns that are not appropriate for such a significant event begin at the table.
Parents' Saturdays
- The first parental (funeral) Saturday of the year is celebrated a week before Lent and is called Meatless , since two days later, from the Monday of Maslenitsa week, believers already exclude meat products from the meal. This is Ecumenical Parents' Saturday, the day of remembrance of all dead Christians.
- The next three parental Saturdays of Great Lent are in the second, third and fourth weeks of Lent. These are days for believers to come to church to pray for loved ones who have passed on to another world, because during Lent, liturgical life is structured differently: during this period, the daily funeral prayer is not performed at the Liturgy.
- Radonitsa stands apart . On Tuesday, a week after Easter, Orthodox Christians remember deceased dear people and, believing in eternal life and a future meeting, share with them the joy of Christ's Resurrection on this day. This is the first day after the Holiday when funeral services are performed.
- The next memorial Saturday is Ecumenical again. It is called Trinity , as it precedes the day of the Holy Trinity. Its date, like the date of Pentecost, is connected with the date of Easter. In 2021, believers will commemorate all Christians who have ever lived on June 19.
- And finally, the last day of the year for special remembrance of the dead is Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday - the closest one before November 8, the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki.
Remembrance days should be met and seen off in a good mood, without holding a grudge against anyone, especially against the deceased person. During the funeral, it is also customary to distribute alms to those in need and treat funeral dishes to everyone who surrounds you on this day - neighbors, colleagues, friends.
Days of remembrance of the dead among the Orthodox
In Orthodoxy, it is customary to remember the deceased:
- on the day of the funeral , which according to Christian tradition falls on the third day after death,
- at funerals on the 9th and 40th days , as well as a year after death .
In addition, the Church has established special days for church-wide memorial services - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa and the day of remembrance of deceased soldiers - defenders of the Fatherland.
Content:
- The essence of commemoration in Orthodoxy
- Features of commemoration on different days
- The third day
- Ninth day
- Fortieth day
- Organization of funerals from the “Honest Agent”
It is believed that a person dies after his relatives and friends stop remembering him. To preserve the memory of the deceased, in Orthodoxy it is customary to hold a wake after the funeral in order to honor his bright image, express gratitude and love for the deceased person. Funeral dinners are held immediately after the burial, as well as on the 9th, 40th day and a year later from the moment of death. Both relatives and friends, as well as colleagues, acquaintances, and even strangers can participate in them. Commemoration not only helps to remember the deceased, but also eases the pain of the loss of relatives, allows them to calm down and gradually accept the fact of the death of a loved one.
The essence of commemoration in Orthodoxy:
Funerals are ritual rites that came to us from the era of paganism. For many peoples and religions, this tradition is associated with the belief in the immortality of the human soul. The Orthodox Church believes that commemoration is not just a dinner, but a special ceremony that is designed to remember the deceased, pay tribute, and talk about good deeds.
The meal helps the soul of the deceased ascend to heaven. Funeral speeches and prayers are essentially a petition to the Lord to find a refuge for a person’s soul and decide its posthumous fate. Relatives and friends constantly offer prayers, order services for the repose, so that God would condescend to the soul and provide it with a place in heaven.
Organization of funerals from the “Honest Agent”
If you don't know how to remember after a funeral, seek professional help. The staff of the funeral home "Honest Agent" have extensive experience in organizing a funeral dinner and are ready to take on the hassle of preparing it. We will offer different options for places to hold the memorial, take care of the menu and provide the services of a manager. By contacting the agency, relatives can count on a decent meal and a number of additional benefits:
- complete solution of all issues related to organizing the event;
- a well-designed menu with a guarantee of product quality;
- organizing an event taking into account religion and religious customs;
- assistance in providing transport to deliver those who said goodbye to the funeral hall after burial;
- affordable cost of service without overpayments and markups;
- detailed consultations on emerging issues.
To invite company specialists to prepare a memorial, call our service at the contact number. The Honest Agent has the necessary skills and knowledge to organize a proper memorial dinner for even a large number of guests.
Tell your friends:
