Responsibilities of husband and wife in Orthodoxy: relationships between spouses in the family, basics and common mistakes, instructions and advice for Christian marriage

God Himself created the family, and the wife was made from the rib of Adam. At the very beginning of the Bible it is said that God created one from man and woman. (Genesis 1:27)

Some Christians claim that the purpose of God's creation of a single whole was the birth of children, but the Holy Scriptures say that the Almighty gave Adam a helper so that he would not be lonely. (Genesis 2:18)

The Orthodox Church views a married couple as a piece of Her, created to demonstrate God's love to the world. Bound on earth through the Sacrament of Wedding continues its journey in Heaven, because spouses are one whole, while the duties of a wife to her husband in Orthodoxy and vice versa are clearly defined.

Orthodox family

God's family - a union of love and fidelity

An Orthodox couple has a special blessing from higher powers for their entire life together, protection and anointing for well-being, the birth and upbringing of children after the Sacrament of marriage. The husband has special responsibilities in the Orthodox family, which is built on the principle of Jesus - husband - wife.

If one of the spouses violates this order, the blessing disappears. By God's command, husband and wife are endowed with mutual responsibilities, the basis of which is the second commandment of Christ (Matthew 22:39):

to love one another with God's love;
remain faithful to each other;
mutual respect;
honoring parents on both sides as the basis for procreation;
raising children according to the word of God.

The modern world practically denies the institution of not only church, but also official marriage, not understanding that cohabitants, they are not a family, live in fornication, and therefore sin, and there is no protection of God for them.

God is love, and the Orthodox Church stands on this foundation, therefore Christians who have realized the sinfulness of their lives can at any time legalize their marriage before the face of the Lord.

The sacrament of marriage can be performed over a couple, both members of which are baptized in Orthodoxy and have undergone certain preparations before the wedding.

Important! It's never too late to stand on your wedding scarf and attend church in God's temple. Only after the wedding does a small Christian church appear, one flesh before the eyes of the Creator. (Matthew 19:6)

Both husband and wife have equal rights; they are life partners.

To become one, young spouses must “cut the umbilical cord” with the older generation. Respecting and honoring parents is a sacred thing, but no one should be allowed to lead and rule except the newlyweds themselves.

A church marriage is indestructible if the couple lives according to the commandments of God. Only sin, especially fornication and adultery, can break the covenant made at the altar overnight.

Marriage

The Church is very strict about remarriage, because no one has lifted Jesus’ prohibition. (Matthew 9:9) Previously it was believed that only consanguinity, which the couple did not know about before, infertility for 7 years, or the death of one of the spouses could cause divorce.

Today the canons have softened a little. The official document of our Church, which is called “Fundamentals of the social concept of the Russian Orthodox Church,” sets out a whole list of reasons why a marriage can be dissolved. But we must always remember that for an Orthodox person the best way is to preserve the existing family. And only if all methods have been tried and have not brought results, there can be talk of divorce.

Family life is not built on the feeling of “butterflies in the stomach”; it is a difficult path. A union based on the blessing of the Church and true love (1 Cor. 13:4-9) will survive more than one decade.

The Hymn of Love, recorded by the Apostle Paul, if all its points are fulfilled, will help a married couple in Orthodoxy go through all the pitfalls of the marital path.

John Chrysostom wrote that a husband should love and protect his wife, and a wife should obey her husband

John Chrysostom talks about the duties of a husband in an Orthodox family:

John Chrysostom

Archbishop

“So, loving is the business of husbands, and yielding is the business of wives. Therefore, if everyone does their duty, then everything will be strong; Seeing herself loved, the wife is friendly, and when she meets obedience, the husband is meek.
Look how it works in nature, so that the husband loves and the wife is obedient; for when the superior loves the subordinate, then everything is fine. Love is not so much required from the subordinate as from the superior to the subordinate, for obedience is required from the subordinate...
Therefore, when a wife submits, do not be magnified; and you, wife, when your husband loves you, do not be arrogant; Let neither a man's love excite conceit in a wife, nor let a wife's subordination puff up her husband.
God subjected her to you so that she would be more loved; and He inspired his husband to love you, wife, so that it would be better for him to obey you. Do not be afraid of submission: for it is not at all difficult to obey someone who loves.
Do not grow cold in love, husband, for your wife is yielding to you. Union is possible in no other way. You have the necessary power by nature, but also have a union of love. This union allows the weakest to be tolerated.”

True Christians have strong families.
The husband must be a support for his wife, so that she feels protected and does not have worries higher than her own. A woman is the weakest vessel (1 Pet 3:7), so let her remain so! After all, a woman doesn’t need much: just to feel care and love from her husband.

He will give flowers not for a holiday, but just because he loves her. He will take you to the theater or cafe at least once a month, and organize a walk in the park with ice cream.

Let her husband protect and protect her fragile nature from all bad weather.

He will ask how she spent that day while he was at work. This won’t be a big deal, but how his missus will blossom, how she will look at her protector and beloved!

With this attitude of the husband, the wife usually gets a second wind and she can provide twice as much care and attention to both him and his children. Without noticing it themselves, men deny themselves such pleasure as an always cheerful and kind wife. And vice versa, neglecting their responsibilities, they have wives at home who are grumpy and aging before their time.

The husband is the head of the family

In prosperous families, a man is clearly aware of his role in the family. If the husband is the head of the family, like Jesus is the head of the Church, then the man will value, respect and take care of his soul mate, providing her with everything she needs (1 Cor. 11:1-3).

About family:

Modern patriarchal family
Responsibilities and Instructions for Husband and Wife

The Creator has prepared his own message for each person. The husband reads and does what is written for him, and Jesus commanded him to love his wife as Christ loves the Church, but it is written about submission for his other half.

In his letter, the Apostle Peter (1 Peter 3:1-7) clearly outlined his commands for married couples. The attitude of a husband to his wife in Orthodoxy implies:

equality in property ownership;
a prudent attitude towards your significant other in all matters of life;
maintaining a woman's authority;
protecting its interests and maintaining its good reputation.

The Bible calls a woman in Orthodoxy the weakest vessel. Imagine a man into whose strong, courageous hands God placed the finest, most exquisite crystal vase; this is his wife, mother of children, beloved. The slightest awkward movement, blow, strong compression and instead of the miracle of the Creator's creation - millions of fragments.

Interpreting the words of the Bible in their favor that a woman must submit to a man and she has no power over the body, some husbands turn their significant other into slaves without a voice and the right to think independently.

The woman is the keeper of the hearth. She is a light, gentle and warm, by guarding which you can always live in peace and comfort.

The status of the head of the family is to be the likeness of Jesus Christ, not a slave owner. An equal partner in the family is the spouse; she should have her own comfort zone, personal opinion and, of course, free time for herself. People say that a beloved woman is happy, and a happy one is always beautiful.

Relationship between husband and wife

A good owner has the most beautiful girlfriend in life, given by God, his soul mate, the queen, who has an equal share in the rule of the family.

Important! The head of the family, like Jesus of the Church, must give his mistress all the rights to resolve women's issues, supporting her attitudes and rules.

It is not appropriate for the king and the priest of the house to bring home gossip, sow discord and pettily find fault with any error.

The litmus test, the test for a man’s relationship with his partner, is Jesus and the Church.

Can a true Christian imagine an abandoned Church with children, not provided for by her Groom, who can cheat on Her?

A house, subordinated in its everyday life to the laws of Christianity and filled with spiritual life, an example of which is the head of the family, will always be under the protection of God.

A faithful wife is the keeper of the hearth

The role of a woman in the family cannot be overestimated. The entire Bible is imbued with examples of the lives of the ancestors of the human race, who, one way or another, influenced the historical development of mankind.

Many holy women left an example of humility, fidelity, courage and obedience in the history of mankind.

Prayer in the temple

Great trust in God, submission, and respect for your husband work wonders.

An Orthodox wife treats her husband as the priest of her home, but at the same time she does not stoop to the role of a cleaner, cook, slave and housekeeper. An Orthodox Christian woman is a housebuilder, a keeper of the hearth, a caretaker of the family. God created Eve from the rib of Adam, not from the hand or legs, not from the head, but from the bone that is located under the heart. A good housewife, who is under the provision and protection of the head of the family, has a house full of cups. It is difficult to imagine God’s Bride - the Church untidy or hungry, and so should a mother, a wife, take care about the home. God gave the command to the wife to submit to her husband (Eph. 6:1-4), and to the husband to love his soul mate. Each family member has his own message from the Creator, the fulfillment of which guarantees a happy family life. Many women try to manipulate their body, violating the command of Jehovah in Heaven (1 Cor. 7: 3-5), which says that a wife has no power to refuse her husband, her the body is in the power of the husband. Only fasting and prayer, and this is more than 200 days a year, can be the reason for avoiding marital relations. King Solomon wrote in Proverbs that a wise wife builds a home, but a quarrelsome woman destroys it. Women should adorn themselves not only externally, the beauty of an Orthodox Christian woman in humility, peacefulness, prudence and respect for her husband. An Orthodox wife will never allow herself to “wash dirty laundry in public.” All questions, disagreements, even discord are resolved not by shouting and reproaches, but by prayer and advice from spiritual mentors.

Prayers for the family:

Prayer to Nicholas the Wonderworker for the familyPrayers to Saints Peter and Fevronia of Murom Prayer to Saint Matrona of Moscow

The beauty of a Christian woman is hidden in her heart, filled with mercy, fear of God, open to helping people and serving the Creator.

Worshiping mammon in the form of gold and jewelry will not make a woman more beautiful, but only filling her with the Fruits of the Holy Spirit will transform the mistress of the house into the queen of her master.

The ability to respond with meekness to rudeness and obedience to demands are the main indicators of a true Christian.

It is the mother who is an example of obedience for children, and the father who is a loving master. Knowing the power of Christian obedience, God shows special favor to women, calling them saints and queens.

The Almighty Creator calls on women to submit to their husbands not out of fear, but out of love for God’s commandments. In families filled with God's knowledge, humility and fidelity, obedience and patience, care and love reign, which are the key to raising children as true Christians.

The biggest mistake of a negligent wife, even if she has reached high positions in politics or business, is to humiliate a man, especially in front of children or other people.

During the wedding, the spouses make a vow to live together and carry their love in wealth and poverty, health and illness.

The ability to please one another, to support each other, to curb one’s tongue, especially for the fairer sex, will be rewarded a hundredfold in years to come, when the temples turn grey.

Advice! A wise wife will never go to bed in anger. The Almighty has given Christians a powerful weapon - prayer, which can extinguish any discord in hearts if Jesus lives there.

Video about the relationship between husband and wife in an Orthodox family