During confession, every Christian must speak completely sincerely about his negative actions and thoughts. Possible sins include fornication (adultery), which is included in the list of the most terrible sins. Great saints of God, including St. John Chrysostom, Ignatius Brianchaninov, St. John Cassian and other spiritual fathers, spoke a lot about him and urged him to be avoided in every possible way.
What is prodigal sin
Fornication is considered a sin that is committed by a person against his own body and soul. This includes the following acts:
- intimate intimacy between a man and a woman who are not each other’s spouses;
- sexual relations before marriage;
- same-sex, unnatural sexual relations;
- manifestations of carnal desire in front of strangers, in front of children;
- lack of abstinence on fasting days and Sundays;
- intimate relationships during church holidays;
- looking at people with attractive appearance;
- handjob (masturbation);
- entering into a fourth marriage (this is equated by the Church with adultery).
Prodigal sins are also considered to be inciting passion in others, lustful fantasies, memories of adultery that occurred in the past, and savoring it.
Prodigal sins are usually divided into two types. The first includes sins that have a natural form. The second type includes unnatural sexual relations, various perversions or thoughts about them.
How to get rid of this passion
However, sincerely confessing your sins is only part of the Sacrament of Repentance. We still need to properly assimilate its fruits. It is necessary to understand that confessed sin only loses its power, but like some action we once committed, it does not disappear anywhere.
What is the guarantee of our constant repentance, when we constantly remember (only the prodigals should not be remembered in detail, so as not to be tempted again), mourning our past sins. Constantly feeling like repentant sinners (in this particular sin - fornicators or penitent harlots) - to which, according to the Gospel, salvation belongs. And not the false, pharisaical “righteous people who have no need for repentance,” when we imagine, as Satan instills in us, that after confession “sin has completely, absolutely and in every sense disappeared, and we have become saints.”
Next, we need to preserve God’s gift of freedom from sin, received at confession, for as long as possible. This is similar to when we receive the Holy Fire at the Maundy Thursday service and then try to bring it home, but bad weather and nasty winds interfere with us. So, immediately after confession, the nasty “winds” of demonic lustful thoughts, acting from outside the soul, try to break into it, extinguishing the blessed flame of freedom from sin that has just kindled in it. A Christian should resist these thoughts in every possible way.
Why is it necessary to repent of fornication?
Adultery is one of the 7 deadly sins. Saints who lived at different times always warned: fornication causes great harm to both men and women, because:
- provokes negative psychological and spiritual changes;
- becomes the cause of cynicism and cruelty;
- inflames vanity, selfishness;
- deprives the ability to show mercy and empathy for others;
- leads to departure from God and the Church;
- makes it impossible to inherit the Kingdom of God.
Adultery inevitably causes personality degradation. If you do not resist carnal temptations, passion endlessly takes over the body and pollutes the soul. Fornication makes a person dependent and weak-willed, desecrates his physical and spiritual essence.
A soul struck by fornication loses vitality and is deprived of God's grace. It is possible to be cleansed of the sin that has been committed only through sincere repentance before the face of the Lord, but even after this the soul will need sobering up for a long time.
Both Holy Scripture and representatives of science unanimously affirm: any type of fornication negatively affects human genetics and causes gradual degeneration of the race. The descendants of people who committed such acts often develop mental and physical illnesses.
Biblical Principles
Let's begin with an important biblical principle taught by our Lord—he who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matt. 5:27-28). It's hard to imagine a person masturbating without imagining sex with someone else, if such a person even exists. Thus, it is tantamount to engaging in adultery, fornication, homosexual behavior, or any other sexual practice—even idolatry, as discussed in Ephesians 5:5, Colossians 3:5, and Ezekiel 23:49. In a certain sense, it can be said that masturbation is a form of mental pornography, which, as we all know, is a sin.
We also recognize sin by the testimony of the Holy Spirit within us, provided we have not quenched His testimony by constant rebellion (1 Thess. 5:19; see also Eph. 4:30). Does anyone live without feeling guilty about the practice of masturbation - even those who have convinced themselves that it is not sinful?
Additionally, the Bible teaches that the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit—it is a sacred temple (1 Cor. 3:16; 2 Cor. 6:16) and that it is part of the body of Christ (1 Cor. 6:15-20). If we are warned not to connect with "Christ who is in us" with a prostitute, why would we connect with immoral thoughts and images in our minds? (1 Cor. 6:15-17)
The Bible also teaches that sexual immorality is a sin against our own body (1 Cor. 6:18). Additionally, 1 Peter 2:11 says that sinful desires wage war against our souls (1 Pet. 2:11). In this sense, by masturbating and having immoral fantasies, we are actually fighting against ourselves. And this war is extremely harsh, as any person with a similar addiction can testify to.
Finally, in 1 Cor. 6:12, 2 Peter 2:19-20, and Romans 6:14-23 contains a very important biblical principle that is often overlooked when determining whether masturbation is a sin: everything that has dominion over us (except the Holy Spirit) harms us. . In other words, “man is a slave to everything that owns him.”
The principle of chastity
(1 Pet. 3:2; Rev. 14:4; 2 Cor. 11:2; Eph. 5:27; Job 31:1; 1 Thess. 4:3-4)
Throughout the history of the Church, true believers have been guided by the biblical concept of chastity. Chastity is the idea that we should live by the principles of purity and sexual self-control, mentally or physically. It is a form of respect for oneself and others that allows for healthy sexual expression to be maintained in the marriage covenant. It is living in accordance with the divine purpose and beauty of human sexuality, which typifies and embodies the marriage between Christ and the Church (Eph. 5:22-32).
Principle of Grace
It should be noted that we are not talking about the innocent exploration of the body that occurs in children and adolescents. In fact, a harsh approach in such cases can create a fixation or obsession in the child's mind. Even worse, if a child does not respect his parents, then this can provoke a rebellion, which he will reliably hide. Curiosity, guilt, and feelings of judgment are also present in such scenarios.
We must remember the biblical principle that God's grace and love teach us to say “no” to ungodly and worldly passions (Titus 2:11-14; Rom. 2:4; 5:17; 2 Cor. 5:14). After all, His grace has saved us not only from the penalty of sin, but also from the power of sin.
This grace is also available to the adult believer who continues to masturbate despite desperate attempts to stop. I will never forget how the Lord helped me understand this. After some success marred by repeated failures, I was protesting my behavior one night when the Lord spoke clearly to my spirit, saying, “You are much harder on yourself than I ever was!” It was a moment of practical grace that allowed me to stop crucifying myself at every failure and gain a new perspective on freedom. This approach was based on developing intimacy with God, not on my failures.
How to Confess Prodigal Sins
A Christian who confesses must necessarily tell the clergyman about the committed adultery. In this case, it is necessary to speak in understandable language. It is necessary to directly name the sin of fornication or another offense, discarding false embarrassment.
There is no point in keeping silent about anything that has been done. It is also necessary to tell about thoughts and fantasies that are unworthy of a believer. Perhaps there were some prodigal sins in the past. If memories of them bring positive emotions, this should also be mentioned in confession.
You need to tell the priest about your sins in the same way as a patient tells a doctor about his bodily illnesses. Only in this case can you gain hope for forgiveness and spiritual healing.
Sin is a thought, a desire that contradicts God's commandments
Sin is a thought, desire, decision, attraction that contradicts the Divine moral law, as well as God's commandments. Sin is also the cause of the perversion of human nature due to man’s falling away from God, his fall into an unnatural state.
Why do people sin? The Monk Ambrose of Optina answered this question:
“...Or because they don’t know what to do and what to avoid; or, if they know, they forget, then they become lazy and despondent.”
Venerable Ambrose of Optina.
Photo: icons.pstgu.ru Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh spoke about who a sinner is:
“Who is a sinner? The one who broke the law of God in the first place. A sinner is one who lives in such a way that he becomes alien to God, who is ashamed in the face of God, who disgraces God in front of other people. This is a person divided in himself, separated from his neighbor, removed from God. The sinner has lost touch with God, with his conscience, with his own life, with the life of his neighbor. Each of us can say that he is like that. It is not that we discover that we have committed one particularly heinous sin and repent of it. It's about our lifestyle."
Anthony of Sourozh
Metropolitan
Example of a confessional text
The following is a text that will help representatives of both sexes confess masturbation, as well as other carnal sins. It can be used as a model for repentance for fornication, leaving in the list of committed acts:
“I confess, the sinful servant of God (God) (name), before the face of the Lord God Almighty of sins committed by deed or thought. He sinned by having carnal relations before marriage, conceiving offspring before a legal relationship with his spouse, having unclean thoughts towards persons of the opposite sex, gazing lustfully at beautiful faces and bodies, during family life had relationships with other partners, destroyed someone else’s family through fornication, left other people’s children without a mother (father).
He also sinned by engaging in masturbation, reading obscene books, watching shameful films, telling obscene jokes, wearing indecent clothes, mocking chastity and marital fidelity, approved of adultery of other people, allowed immoderation in carnal relations in marriage, free treatment of persons of the other sex, did not observe restrictions in married life during fasting and church holidays, entered into the fourth marriage.
I sincerely repent of all my prodigal sins, I humbly ask the Lord for forgiveness for my actions and thoughts, and I promise never to repeat them again. I ask God to give me strength to prevent new sins and I will make every effort to henceforth lead the life of a true Christian (true Christian) and keep the Divine commandments every day. Amen".
In conclusion, it should be said: it is imperative to confess prodigal sins and not try to hide them, since the Lord knows all our thoughts and actions. Every Christian must remember that fornication makes him open to demons and defenseless against temptations, before temptations sent by dark forces. That is why adultery, whether created or intended, should be avoided in every possible way.
Temple of the Tikhvin Icon of the Mother of God
Confession of carnal sinsIt is very important to resort to confession when fighting the spirit of fornication.
The Holy Fathers teach that one should not confess carnal sins in detail (as well as prodigal thoughts). Firstly, such attention to detail can renew in the soul of the person confessing the memory of the experienced falls and temptations; secondly, it will not be harmless for the priest receiving the confession, unless he is dispassionate. However, it is always necessary to talk about sin in such a way that it is clear what its essence is, so that sin is not diminished or exaggerated. It is possible to use the words: “I sinned by seductive behavior, intemperance of bodily and mental feelings, addiction, acceptance of unclean thoughts, unclean views. I am overcome by carnal thoughts.” In some cases, in order to overcome shame, it is indeed necessary to write down sins on a piece of paper and give it to the priest to read. Similar examples can be found in some lives of saints, in particular, in the life of St. Basil the Great, to whom came a woman whose sins were so shameful (or she herself was so sensitive) that she could not manage to pronounce them out loud, which is why she I entrusted them to paper. Metropolitan Anthony (Khrapovitsky) writes about prodigal sins: “Sins arising from prodigal passion are called sins against chastity. These sins are prohibited by the seventh commandment of the Law of God, therefore they are often also called “sins against the seventh commandment.” These are: adultery (adultery), fornication (cohabitation outside of marriage), incest (carnal relations between close relatives), unnatural sins, secret carnal sins. The degree of their severity can be judged by the fact that in the missals there are not so many questions and penances for any sin as for the sin of unchastity. To get rid of these sins, the pastors of the Church strongly advise, first of all, to definitely resort to confession. Many are ashamed to confess these sins, but until a Christian (or Christian woman) confesses his fall, he will return to it again and again and gradually fall into complete despair, or, conversely, shamelessness and godlessness.” Patericon: The elder said: “If you are troubled by unclean thoughts, do not hide them, but immediately tell them to your spiritual father and expose them. Because the more a person hides his thoughts, the more they grow and strengthen. Just as a snake, if it crawls out of its nest, immediately runs away, so does an evil thought: if it is opened, it immediately dies. But an evil thought eats away at the heart like a worm eats away at wood. Therefore, whoever opens his thoughts is quickly healed. And whoever hides them is sick with pride.” The elder said: “Whoever leaves reason for the sake of the Lord, the Lord gives him reason.” The brother asked one of the elders: “Why, when I am with the elders, I cannot control my thoughts?” And the elder answered: “Because the enemy rejoices in nothing more than those who do not open their thoughts.” Rev. John Cassian the Roman: “... in itself, frank confession of evil thoughts to the fathers dries up these thoughts and exhausts them. Just as a snake, if pulled out of a dark hole into the light, strives to quickly run away and hide, so are evil thoughts: if they are revealed by frank and pure confession, they flee from a person.” Rev. Macarius of Optina also writes about the importance of confession in confronting the spirit of fornication and teaches how to confess correctly in the face of such warfare: “As for the fact that you find it difficult to tell your confessor about certain subjects, I will tell you: do not explain the mental attacks of passionate carnal thoughts in detail, but simply say: “ I am overcome by carnal thoughts”; That's enough. God sees your heart, which grieves over this. If shame does not allow you to even say this, then resort to humility and remember that this small shame before one person frees you from future eternal shame.” It should be noted that confessing the sins of fornication only brings benefit when the person being fought turns to an experienced, sensible confessor. Otherwise, he may receive great harm instead of benefit. The Holy Fathers and the Tradition of the Church speak about this: Abba Cassian said, this is what Abba Moses told us: it is good not to hide your thoughts, but to reveal them to spiritual and prudent elders, and not to those who have grown old from time alone. For many, looking at old age and revealing their thoughts, instead of healing, due to the inexperience of those listening, fell into despair.
There was one brother, very diligent, but, suffering cruel attacks from the demon of fornication, he came to a certain elder and told him his thoughts. He, being inexperienced, having heard this, was indignant at his brother, who had such thoughts, calling him accursed and unworthy of the monastic image.
The brother, hearing this, despaired of himself and, leaving his cell, returned to the world. But by God's providence, Abba Apollos, the most experienced of the elders, meets him; Seeing his confusion and great sadness, he asked him: “My son!” what is the reason for such sorrow? At first he did not answer out of great despondency, but after many admonitions from the elder he told him about his circumstances. Often, he said, my thoughts confuse me; I went and opened it to such and such an old man and, according to him, there is no hope for salvation for me; in despair I go into the world.
Father Apollos, hearing this, consoled and admonished his brother for a long time, saying: do not be surprised, my son, and do not despair about yourself. I, being so old and grey, suffer cruel attacks from these thoughts. So, do not be faint-hearted in such a temptation, which is healed not so much by human effort as by God’s love for mankind. Just listen to me now, return to your cell. Brother did it.
Abba Apollos, having parted with him, went to the cell of the elder who had excommunicated his brother, and, standing near it, with tears he prayed to God like this: Lord! sending temptations for our benefit, send your brother to attack this old man, so that in his old age he would learn from experience what he had not learned in such a long time - he would learn how to have compassion for those slain by the devil.
After finishing the prayer, he sees an Ethiopian standing near the cell and throwing arrows at the old man. Stung by them, he hesitated as if from wine and, unable to bear it, left the cell and went into the world along the same path that his younger brother had taken.
Abba Apollos, having learned this, came out to meet him and asked him: where are you going and what is the reason for your confusion? He, thinking that the saint knew what happened to him, did not answer anything out of shame.
Then Abba Apollos said to him: return to your cell, from here recognize your weakness and consider yourself either previously unknown to the devil, or despised by him. For you were not worthy to go to war with him. What am I saying - to war? You couldn't withstand his attack for even a single day. This happened to you because you, having received your younger brother who was waging war against a common enemy, instead of encouraging him to heroism, plunged him into despair, without thinking about what the wise commandment requires: save those taken to death, and will you really refuse those doomed to be killed? (Proverbs 24:11); and even what the parable refers to our Savior: he will not break a bruised reed, nor will he quench smoking flax (Matthew 12:20). For no one could resist the cunning of the enemy and even extinguish the fiery movement of nature if the grace of God did not help human weakness. So, when this saving grace of God has been fulfilled, let us begin with common prayers to ask God to take away the scourge stretched out against you. He strikes, and His hands heal (Job 5:18); kills and gives life, brings down to hell and exalts, humiliates and exalts (1 Sam. 2, 6, 7).
Having said this and prayed, he immediately delivered him from the misfortune brought upon him and advised him to ask God to give him the tongue of the wise, so that he could strengthen the weary with words (Isa. 50:4).
From all that has been said, we understand that there is no other most reliable path to salvation than to open your thoughts to the most prudent fathers and have them guide you to virtue, and not follow your own thoughts and reasoning. And because of the inexperience, lack of skill, or simplicity of one or more, there is no need to be afraid of revealing your thoughts to the most experienced fathers. For they too, not by their own impulse, but by inspiration from God and the Divine Scripture, commanded the younger ones to ask the elders.”
(Ancient patericon)
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How to fight as an adult?
Why is it difficult for a person to fight sins associated with the passion of fornication? Because sexual attraction was laid down by the Lord from the very beginning, at the level of physiological needs. The unclean takes advantage of this, seducing us sinners with pleasant sensations. Therefore, we are at war with fornication and other carnal lusts throughout our earthly life.
There are two known to a Christian path to victory over masturbation: abstinence and marriage.
In the first case, you need to work a lot, fast, and lead a spiritual lifestyle. Many consider this impossible, but a striking example of this are the holy ascetics, who, just like us, struggled throughout their lives with various passions and fornication in its various forms, including. A striking and famous example is Mary of Egypt; many know her life. How she lived, how an invisible Force did not let her into the temple, how she repented and went into the desert. Also the story of Saints Martinian and Zoe. The monk was known for his piety, and the harlot decided to prove everyone wrong. She bet money with friends that she would seduce Martinian. Pretending to be a wanderer, she entered his cell and began to seduce the monk. He, in order not to fall into sin, stood on the hot coals and continued to pray. Seeing Martinian's faith, Zoe fell to her knees, begging for forgiveness. That's how she became a Christian. Therefore, with prayer, desire and hope in the Lord, everything is possible.
The second, easier, path is often achieved through the first. By repenting and humbling ourselves, we provide opportunities for creating a happy marriage with another person. The main thing in any situation is not to forget God and trust in Him.
Lust is a sin or a gift of God
At what point did Adam need a fig leaf? Ancient Rome fell under the yoke of vices and lost the golden mean between asceticism and explosions of sexual activity. Degradation and a slow slide towards the previous stage of development began - the primitive system.
The instinct of self-preservation responded to the decline of reason with the birth of a new church, the main tenets of which were sanctified chastity and the prohibition of lust. This testament of Christ stopped the decay of the individual from the poison of permissiveness, but, as a side effect of the medicine, it prepared the way for unprecedented troubles - the fires of the Inquisition and the “blessed” genocide of the Crusaders.
An example of confession of the sin of masturbation
Confession is a secret that cannot be told. Of course, there are examples when a priest, with the consent of the confessor, tells details for, for example, teaching others. But I want to tell you one instructive story.
In one monastery there lived a monk. He suffered from the sin of onanism. Each time he came to church, he tearfully repented, beat himself on the chest, and on his knees asked for forgiveness from the Lord. I wanted to say in confession, promise not to do this again. And perhaps he promised. But leaving the church, he walked and again fell into masturbation.
Already the confessor began to wonder why God forgave this careless monk every time. Then the following happened: when the monk again prayed to the All-Merciful Creator for forgiveness, he died. The Lord took him away at the hour of prayer.
Therefore, we need to remember the Mercy of God and that he can take us away at any moment of our short life. The important thing is in what form we will appear before Him, in what clothes, with what unrepentant sins.
Preventing sin in teenagers
Teenage children have a period when they begin to explore their bodies. They are interested in what they have and where. Therefore, due to ignorance and desire to know themselves, they can engage in self-satisfaction.
Also, sometimes, due to poor personal hygiene, uncomfortable, tight, tight clothing, and unpleasant sensations in the genital area, boys and girls resort to masturbation.
Many cannot openly tell their parents about this; it is important to be attentive to your child and notice any changes in behavior.
You need to make it clear to the child that there is no need to be afraid of you and that you will fight together against prodigal sin. Also explain to the teenager the destructiveness of this act and its sinfulness, the consequences for the soul.
Find out, without questioning and without violence, the reason why your teenager resorted to masturbation. Think about how you can get out of the situation. I think a solution can be found if everything is discussed with Love and mutual understanding.
Spend more time with your child, just talking and being interested in his life. Invite him to go out with friends, if they were not the impetus for the sin. If these were peers, then think about how to change the environment and society, always consulting and asking your child for their opinion.
If this is due to clothing and hygiene, be sure to change your wardrobe to a more relaxed style and change your personal hygiene products. Explain how to take care of yourself.
It is very useful to spend time in nature, breathe fresh air. You can also reconsider the teenager’s workload; perhaps it would be useful to remove the load, but in some places it needs to be increased.
Don’t forget about the child himself, his opinion, adolescence, the desire to be an adult and solve his problems himself. It is necessary, with Love and Hope in God, to jointly solve the problem that has arisen.
