Starting the conversation, Bishop Panteleimon reminded that one must use the experience of the holy fathers in the fight against passions judiciously and carefully. You should always keep in mind the difference between their high spiritual level and your own, “perhaps not even zero, but minus.” Otherwise, there is a risk of only strengthening the passion that you are trying to correct, or even acquiring another one.
The Bishop cited the words of St. Simeon the New Theologian about how he followed the spiritual path of his mentor, St. Simeon the Reverent. The New Theologian poetically says that the mentor washed himself in springs and pointed him to springs of living water. “But I,” the saint laments, “drew clay along with the water, muddied these springs, and instead of being cleansed, I polluted myself.”
Dejection is one of the most difficult passions
“The darkness of despondency is thickening in the world,” noted Bishop Panteleimon. – People, thinking to dispel despondency and the seal, try to have fun, but only expose themselves to an even greater passion of despondency. Although there are also people who never lose heart.”
The Bishop said that Saint Gregory of Sinai, out of the eight passions, identifies the two most cruel and severe: fornication and despondency (“laziness”, in the saint’s terminology). According to St. Gregory, these passions are connected with each other. When they take possession of the soul, they lead it into relaxation. Therefore, it is difficult to fight these passions, and it is impossible to completely overcome them even for an ascetic of a high spiritual life, not to mention an ordinary person.
In the soul, as St. Gregory of Sinaite, there are three forces: “irritable” (to push away from evil), “lustful” (love) and rational (knowledge of God and peace). The devil distorts them. Fornication is rooted in the lustful power of the soul, but spreads sweetness to all members. Dejection refers to the rational power of the soul and, “holding the dominant mind,” entwines both soul and body like ivy and paralyzes the mind and will.” These passions are driven away when the soul in prayer receives joy, strength and deep peace from the Holy Spirit.
There is another scheme in which the main passions are gluttony and pride. Bishop Panteleimon says that it is impossible to arrange the passions in order with mathematical precision. He recalled the expression of St. John Climacus, who compared passions to a ball of snakes, in which you cannot tell whose head is and whose tail is.
Returning to despondency, we can say that it deprives the soul of the will to resist evil and makes it defenseless against other passions.
If we do not strive for joy, we will not be able to get rid of sins. There is a lot of darkness in the world, but let us remember the Chinese proverb: “You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from hovering over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair.” Therefore, we should have good, bright thoughts under our hair, and our soul should rejoice. After all, Christ’s first greeting to the myrrh-bearing women was: “Rejoice!” The Apostle Paul commanded us to “Rejoice always” (1 Thess. 5:16).
Prayer to the icon of the Mother of God “Helper of Sinners”
Troparion, tone 4:
Now all despondency falls silent / and the fear of despair disappears, / sinners in the sorrow of their hearts find consolation / and are illuminated with heavenly love: / today the Mother of God extends to us a saving hand / and from Her Most Pure Image she speaks, saying: / I am the Helper of sinners to My Son ,/ This gave Me a hand for them to hear Me take out./ And therefore, people, burdened with many sins, fall at the foot of Her icon, crying with tears: Intercessor of the world, Helper of sinners, beseech the Savior of all with Thy motherly prayers,/ that Divine forgiveness may cover our sins / and the bright doors of heaven will open to us, / For you are the intercession and salvation of the Christian race.
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What is the difference between sadness and despondency
Bishop Panteleimon recalled that Christianity is distinguished from other religions by the commandments that are given to achieve bliss. In different religions one can find moral guidelines close to the Old Testament Ten Commandments, but only the Beatitudes, given to us by the Savior Himself, teach us how to partake of divine joy. He advised us to read their interpretations given by St. Gregory of Nyssa (“On the Beatitudes”) and the righteous of our time - St. Justin Cheliysky (Popovich) in his “Commentary on the Gospel of Matthew” and Archimandrite John (Krestyankin) in his “Experience in Constructing a Confession,” letters and sermons.
He then cited a poem by the 19th century French poet Paul Verlaine “Spleen” (translation by B. Pasternak):
And there’s a mess in the heart, And there’s rain in the morning. Where exactly does this blues come from?
Oh welcome rain, Your rustling is an excuse for a mediocre soul to cry quietly.
Where does the sadness and widowhood of the heart come from? Blues for no reason And for nothing.
The blues come from nowhere, But that’s the blues, When it’s not for bad and not for good.
“We call such melancholy the passion of sadness. It differs from despondency not only quantitatively, but also qualitatively. The Holy Fathers distinguish them in the same way. When we talk about the loss of joy, this can be associated not only with sins, but also with natural causes, for example, with the death of loved ones,” said Bishop Panteleimon.
Grief is natural for a person if it has moderation. It happens that a person begins to lose heart from fatigue. It happens that the cause or consequence of despondency is mental illness.
“Doctors say that 40% of people in the world have depression, and the rest were simply not examined,” the bishop noted. – It is very difficult to maintain a clear mind and joy in today’s world. It is very easy to let these birds of sadness into you. More precisely, the evil spirits of sadness. It is very important to find the cause of joylessness and fight it with suitable means.”
How can you tell if you're tired or depressed? “I advise you to just sleep. If it doesn’t go away, then get some more sleep. If it doesn’t go away after several times, then go to the doctor,” he added. “When you get sick, you lose your critical attitude towards yourself, and it’s good that you have an experienced confessor who can understand your condition, and then go to the doctor.”
He recalled that the word “sadness” goes back to the word “care” and further to what “sores.” In moments of sadness, everything seems unbearable and terrible, but when this state passes, then often everything turns out to be the same as it was before. Such sadness has clear signs of diabolical deception. In such a state, you cannot draw conclusions, make decisions, and, especially, grumble about those who allegedly insulted you. You just need to endure and thank God, who “forgives everyone, except those who constantly grumble” (St. Isaac the Syrian).
St. Nicodemus the Holy Mountain says that sadness about past sin is also harmful, since pride and conceit are hidden behind it. We need to mourn the sin, get up and move on.
Prayer, reading and communication with spiritual people help with sadness. It is no coincidence that even hermits settled within a stone's throw of each other, so that in difficult situations they would be able to support each other.
If we cry, then we should cry not within ourselves, but before God with that “blessed cry” that St. spoke about. Ignatius Brianchaninov. Humility should not be in words or intonation, but in accepting sorrows.
Prayer from the work of St. Dmitry of Rostov
God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Father of mercies and God of all consolation, who comforts us in all our sorrow! Comfort everyone who is grieving, saddened, despairing, or overwhelmed by the spirit of despondency. After all, every person was created by Thy hands, wise by wisdom, exalted by Thy right hand, glorified by Thy goodness... But now we are visited by Thy Fatherly punishment, short-term sorrows! “You compassionately punish those you love, and you show mercy generously and look upon their tears!” So, having punished, have mercy and quench our sorrow; turn sorrow into joy and dissolve our sorrow with joy; Surprise us with Thy mercy, wondrous in counsels, Lord, incomprehensible in destinies, Lord, and blessed in Thy deeds forever, amen.
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Tags: how to deal with despondency, despondency is a sin, despondency is a mortal sin, despondency is, what is despondency
Dejection is the worldview of the devil
Despondency leads to neglect of the Christian life. Very often, a person in despondency begins to envy people who live far from the Church and are not bound by the commandments, and forgetfulness of heavenly blessings occurs. Dejection turns into relaxation, and in some cases it is overcome by work, and in others, work serves as an excuse to quit praying in despondency.
Bishop Panteleimon noted that for modern people, the memory of death is not associated with the expectation of the Last Judgment and a meeting with God. Suicide out of despondency is disbelief in eternal life. Such a person does not believe in meeting God and is ready to commit suicide just to end the difficulties.
Differences from similar spiritual and mental states
The passion of despondency can be associated with sadness or despair. Some external similarities, of course, can be found, however, these are still different spiritual ailments.
Sadness not for God is an irresistible sadness for worldly goods . A soul sick with sinful sadness draws to itself images of expected earthly joys. In such a state, some kind of movement, albeit sinful, occurs in a person’s soul.
Despair is an even more energetic passion. This spiritual illness keeps the soul in constant tension without hope for good.
Moreover, one should not confuse the passion of despondency with depression, which can also have completely physiological causes.
Prayers for despondency
In despondency, one must fight the spirit of ingratitude and blasphemy against God. Bishop Panteleimon cited short prayers for despondency, which the ancient holy fathers prayed, and which the Russian saint, Venerable, cites in his writings. Neil Sorsky:
St. Barsanuphius the Great: “Lord, look at my sorrow and have mercy on me! God, help me, a sinner!”
St. Simeon the New Theologian: “Do not allow temptation, or sorrow, or illness, to reach my soul, O Master, beyond my strength, but give relief and strength, so that I can endure everything with thanksgiving!”
St. Gregory Palamas: “Lord, enlighten my darkness!”
The Bishop drew attention to the fact that it is not a matter of reading the rules, a short prayer is better, but with a feeling of the soul’s conversation with God. You can also pray in your own words.
Dejection - why is it a sin?
Photo: Pixabay.com
Dejection is a mortal sin for a reason. Firstly, it can manifest itself in different forms:
- Yearning. Vivid signs of it are often expressed in laziness, constant sadness and boredom. There is also a loss of interest in everything around and a manifestation of the desire to live in a world of one’s own creation.
- Laziness and indifference to spiritual enrichment. In this case, the manifestation of other related external signs is not necessary. Often a person, on the contrary, is very cheerful and feels joy. However, he stops regularly reading scriptures, prayers and everything that leads to spiritual enrichment.
However, despondency does not occur for no reason. Often it affects people who do not believe in God. This is a consequence of the fact that there is spiritual emptiness in their soul.
Relaxation in despondency
Bishop Panteleimon noted that sometimes it is impossible to get out of a state of despondency without laughter, but good laughter, without ridicule, rudeness and, of course, blasphemy. He recalled the saying “a good laugh is not a sin,” which Father Pavel (Gruzdev) loved to repeat. Archimandrite John (Krestyankin) joked subtly. The famous Soviet-era priest, Archpriest Tikhon Pelikh, even repented that he laughs a lot, and then added: “Well, there are no tears, we laugh.”
You can eat something tasty to get out of despondency, as, for example, St. Seraphim of Sarov advised the Diveyevo sisters to eat crackers.
“One old priest told me that when he was depressed, he watched good comedies: “Striped Flight”, “Beware of the Car”, “I Walk Around Moscow”. I re-read Pushkin. “I really liked “The Captain’s Daughter” in this state,” said the bishop.
It is very good to learn languages, in general to learn something by heart, so that the mind is distracted. It is good to learn prayers by heart.
Helps tire your body with physical labor. Bishop Panteleimon said that the book “On the life of schema-abbess Sevastiana (Zhukova)” had been published. It contains memories of this famous ascetic, the spiritual daughter of St. Sevastian Karaganda, who died in 2015. Mother Sebastiana loved the saying of Dr. F. P. Haas: “If you need doctors, let you have three remedies: a cheerful mood, rest and a moderate diet.” Christians should be characterized by good spirits, not gloom. Even if you have sorrow in your soul, you must “anoint your head with oil” and be joyful.
Bishop Panteleimon advises going to bed early and getting up early. Getting up early with prayer sets the tone for the whole day. In the evening, you are tired and can no longer help but be distracted by empty things, news feeds, Instagram. “You don’t notice the people next to you, but you read what some virtual friends write. “You are moving into an illusory world, where it is not God who reigns,” said the bishop. “I came home, prayed and went to bed.”
The measure in all these activities is determined in a very difficult way, by experience. You need to choose for yourself the royal, middle path.
Bishop Panteleimon spoke about the seven rules of joy, which he derived based on the writings of Abba Dorotheus and other holy fathers:
How to overcome despondency
Write in the comments below which of the cases resonated with you, what was “about you”, and now I can give you three recommendations for each of these cases separately, which have already worked great in my experience.
1) Fatigue from feeling forced
Here it is important to learn to agree, to begin to see that what you are doing is beneficial to you too, and then the energy will be completely different. Or understand that this is not your thing at all, and then do what you really like. Find something that really resonates with you! Figure out how to do what you usually do with more pleasure, what you could add, what nice elements. For example, something as simple as playing music while cleaning or listening to interesting lectures on wireless headphones makes the process much more enjoyable. Try to show your imagination, do what you liked to do before, but what you forgot about amid a bunch of “necessary” things, leaving no room for pleasant things!
2) Unfocused, when you want to embrace the immensity, and then you lie there without strength
Don't miss anything, have time to do everything... Sit down and think - what is the most important thing in my life? What is important to me? And based on your priorities, build a more holistic style of your life. It is important to see 2-3 specific priorities on which you will direct your efforts! The rest is based on the residual principle. And then you will be able to achieve excellent results by concentrating your energy into a powerful stream, as happens with a sunbeam passing through a magnifying glass.
3) Disappointment from high expectations
In this case, it is important to reduce expectations, not to expect that what I have been dreaming about for many years will happen this very minute, to give myself time, to set a normal pace of life for myself. Don't expect instant super results, but allow the results to be greater than you expect. Then we will have a half-forgotten feeling of happiness, we will be more satisfied that everything is working out. And this will give enormous strength to move forward and act further, without worrying about despondency. Learn to appreciate your every small step, every micro-result - no one will do this but you!
Rule of joy 1. Reproach yourself
According to Abba Dorotheus, “the main reason for embarrassment is that we do not reproach ourselves.” Without reproaching oneself, a person will never stop being offended and offending others, losing his calm.
But what if you are reproached unfairly? If someone tests himself, he will find that he has always given some reason for offense, in word, deed or even appearance. Perhaps the offense was inflicted earlier, or even he offended another person and had to suffer for it, but was not punished. The Bishop said that he knows many cases when people suffered seemingly for nothing, but began to understand their conscience and remembered their grave sins, for which they were not held accountable in the past.
It is an illusion to think that you were calm, and someone from the outside angered you. “Well, why was I so calm, I took communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, and you’re driving me crazy!” Abba Dorotheos calls this opinion “ridiculous” and “devilish seduction.” A quarrel only showed the passion that was in a person, which means it gives a chance to see it and repent of it. It's like breaking bread that is rotten inside. Abba Zosima of Palestine, known from the life of St. Mary of Egypt, suggests considering the offender a doctor. If you are offended, then you seem to say to God: “I don’t want to take Your medicine, but I want to rot from my wounds.”
Sometimes we mourn what we don’t have: a fiancé, health, an apartment. We must say to ourselves: “Christ knows more than I whether I should get what I want or not. Let Christ be for me instead of this thing or this food.” He can be our Friend and the Bridegroom of our souls. It may be space, and we won’t feel cramped in one room with five children and parents.
It’s the devil’s business, after reading the Gospel, to begin to measure everyone except oneself with it. Two brothers, the elder and the younger, came to Abba Dorotheus. The elder complained that the second did not listen to him. The younger one said that he would have listened if he had spoken to him with love and not ordered him. Each of them placed the blame on his neighbor and did not reproach himself. “That is why we do not receive any benefit, but torment ourselves all the time,” wrote the reverend father.
Disappointment
Another cause of despondency—disappointment—comes from our overly high expectations. It's great when we have big goals, but it's also important to be able to live with what we have now. For example, there is a desire to find your dream job. In this case, it’s worth thinking about what I’m already good at, what I can already do - and what next step I can take. In the matter of losing weight, for example, it helped me to tell myself that I am already quite beautiful and healthy, and just take the next step.
Many people who come to me for support want to get everything at once, so that their lives can instantly change. Yes, we can quickly move from one level to another, but the long journey must be taken gradually. It seems to us that only the end result can please us, although in fact we will get great pleasure and interesting experience in the process of achieving our goal!
We get disappointed when we see how far we still have to go, and this happens when we want to get something for nothing, without making any effort. Get something instantly, without doing something important for yourself every day, without learning something, without allowing yourself to develop and gain new, incredibly interesting and useful experience.
It is much more pleasant to make small discoveries every day than to dream that as soon as you get what you want, everything in our life will change on its own! Yes, getting married, having children, increasing your income are necessary and important goals, but problems will not disappear after achieving them if you do not develop and move forward.
Rule of Joy 6. Joy is multiplied by division.
“Sharing joy does not mean selfishly, without paying attention to others, pouring out a stormy stream of delight in euphoria, thinking to convince the sad and mourning that everything is good and nothing can be better. Sharing joy means descending into the depths of other people’s misfortune, accepting their pain into your heart and tactfully and tenderly helping them to extricate themselves from the networks of despondency,” continued Bishop Panteleimon.
He invited everyone who wanted to learn how to increase joy by sharing it with those in need to participate in volunteer church projects.
Ways to deal with despondency
This passion is difficult to fight, because every sinful habit, according to the rules of asceticism, is overcome by doing the opposite virtue. Greed and love of money - through alms, lust and gluttony - through fasting and abstinence. Anger is peacefulness, pride is humility. Dejection has no virtue opposite to it.
They fight despondency by forcing themselves to pray , regularly attending divine services, and participating in the Sacraments. It is very important to be among spiritually diligent friends and to seek their support and prayerful help. The routine of monastic life, the list of obediences, organized prayer - such means were developed in communal monasteries. By refraining from idle talk, doing whatever handicraft you can, thinking about the future blessings of the Kingdom of God, and relying on God’s help, you can overcome this destructive sinful passion.
Rule 7: The basis of joy is gratitude to God
By gratitude, Bishop Panteleimon means both gratitude to God for His blessings and the Eucharist (from the Greek “thanksgiving”).
We need to learn to rejoice on Bright Week. Usually a person fasts throughout Great Lent, breaks his fast on Easter, relaxes, and begins to feel despondent again. Meanwhile, although you can eat meat and even take communion after that, you should not relax. Every day you should try to be in church. Easter hour instead of morning and evening prayers is very little. It is necessary to supplement the rule with reading the Gospel, for example, the Gospel of John, whose reading begins in church on the day of the Holy Resurrection of Christ. You need to plan in advance how you will live Bright Week, try to memorize the Easter canon. We must try to fill our souls with Easter joy, even by force. Otherwise, it turns out that we fasted without a purpose. Lent has ended and we live as before. Even after spending Bright Week just once, with attention, you can feel changes in yourself. This is how the soul learns spiritual joy.
“The Church cannot be ideal, and salvation is not in Her in itself, but in Him who is within Her, in the Risen Living Savior,” continued Bishop Panteleimon. – You need to rejoice in everything that connects you with this joy, to recognize through this genuine joy how it differs from imaginary joy. The main joy is the Liturgy. The basis of joy is union with Christ. Without it, no psychological techniques will help increase self-esteem. We cannot pull ourselves out of the swamp by our own hair. Only God can do this. The Lord does not give us joy because we do not take from him. Our joy should be combined with gratitude to God, remembrance of God’s good deeds. Such joy can be a criterion - true joy is only what is compatible with the Eucharist,” Bishop Panteleimon emphasized.
At the end of the conversation, he said that someone who tries to overcome passions without labor and struggle, and by listening to lectures and reading books, is like a person who, as St. Petersburg said. Gregory of Sinai, knows the shadow instead of the truth. “The extent to which this shadow will become the truth depends on how we ourselves live,” concluded Bishop Panteleimon.
