"I am a sinner." This phrase is sometimes heard from those closest to you. And it is said with particular bitterness.
“We should go to the temple.” Another phrase that can be heard. The soul asks to go to church, to confession.
“How can I atone for my sins? There are so many of them that I can’t even remember.” And these words make my heart clench. God is merciful, He forgives our sins. Including especially serious ones.
Why do we sin?
It is always easier to go down than to go up. And it is easier to sin than to repent. Why do people sin? Because of my weakness. We don't notice how we sin. Every day, every hour, every minute. It would seem, what can you do especially badly in a day? We woke up and ran to work. We worked until lunch, ate, and worked again. And then it was time to go home. We prepared dinner at home and lunch for tomorrow. The children's homework was checked and the washing machine was started. We talked to my husband. Where are the sins?
Let’s, for the sake of interest, analyze this hectic day. We woke up and didn’t pray. We went to work, if we took public transport, it was quite possible that we reprimanded someone. They didn’t, they thought so badly of that plump woman over there who was loudly arguing with the conductor.
We got to work and poured ourselves some tea. We gossiped with a colleague. While we are working, we will go online more than once. At lunch we chatted with colleagues again and judged someone.
There's probably no point in continuing. They didn’t pray, they allowed bad thoughts, they got carried away with idle talk, they didn’t pray before dinner. These are our sins. And we do them, it seems, not intentionally. Everyday sins have become a habit, no matter how strange it may sound.
But there are special sins. They cry out to Heaven for vengeance. That is, they are followed by severe punishment. If you don’t ask yourself the question of how to atone for sins.
How to ask God for forgiveness for lying?
Lying, lying or deception - whatever you call it, this action, word or thought, means a distortion of reality and is one of the grave, very common, so to speak, universal sins.
- People lie in childhood , youth and old age. They lie in the family and at work, they lie for evil and for good.
- By deception, people create a reality other than God’s.
IMPORTANT: Leviticus 19:11, 12: “Do not steal, lie, or deceive one another. Do not swear falsely by My name, and do not dishonor the name of your God. I am the Lord."
Since there is probably not a single person on Earth who would speak only the truth, they very often ask God for forgiveness for lying.
You can ask God to forgive a lie by reading the prayer for the forgiveness of sins of St. Barsanuphius the Great.
Prayer for the forgiveness of sins of St. Barsanuphius the Great.
A type of lie, perjury, is one of the deadly sins. To prevent it, read the following prayer:
Prayer, warning against perjury.
Particularly serious sins
How to atone for sins before God? Sincere repentance and correction of your life. That is, no longer return to sin after repenting of it.
What are these sins mentioned in the title? How to repent of them? Let's look at the answer to the first question first.
- Homicide, including abortion.
- Withholding pay from a poor employee.
- Harassment of a sick, poor person, widow or orphan.
- Disrespect for parents, even to the point of beating.
These sins need, as we have already said, special repentance. And of course, it is unacceptable to do them again after repentance.
Importance of Chanting and Devotion
In our articles on chanting, we have explained how chanting creates a center of devotion in the subconscious mind and deflects arising thoughts.
Our stock of merits and sins from past births is also stored in the subconscious. Just as the sun destroys fog or melts snow, in addition to eliminating unnecessary thoughts, chanting also destroys our sins.
In fact, when we chant with devotion, the very desires that caused us to sin ultimately disappear.
“The Atonement simply takes away sin, but there is no desire to sin. When one strives for final liberation, chanting eliminates both desire and sin.” – His Holiness Kane Maharaj, Narayagaon, Pune, Maharashtra, India
The sin of abortion
How to atone for sin for aborted children? What is the sin here anyway? This is not a person yet, but just a clump of cells. This is what women who have had an abortion think about.
But their reasoning is wrong. Man has a soul, it is immortal. And the Lord gives this soul at the moment of conception. Even a one-day-old embryo born in the womb already has a soul. And if so, then what right do women have to kill her? What, in essence, the Lord God sends and gives. Abortion is a challenge to God. The woman seems to say: “Lord, you gave me a child, but I don’t need him. I think that I’m smarter than you, I’ll figure out my own life. So I will kill your gift."
It sounds creepy and implausible. But if you think about it, that’s how it is. And how can one atone for the sins of abortion?
First of all, realize that this is murder. A certain old man made me realize this very well. A married couple came to him, who already had four children. My wife became pregnant with my fifth child. Standing in front of the elder, she said that the family would not be able to feed another child, so the expectant mother decided to have an abortion.
The elder was silent, and then advised him to kill. But not this unborn baby. It's not fair to not let him see the light of day. And to kill the eldest, fifteen-year-old daughter. She has already lived in the world.
The couple was horrified, the mother said in fear that she could not do this. To which the elder said that killing a child in the womb is no different from killing an adult child. The couple repented of their intentions, and soon their fifth baby was born.
So, awareness is the first path to repentance. Having realized how monstrous an abortion is, you are unlikely to want to go through it again.
And after awareness, the purification of the soul occurs. I no longer have the strength to carry this sin within me; it begins to oppress and gnaw at the failed mother from within. Then she goes to the temple to confess.
What to do next after confession? What prayer can be used to atone for sins or the sin of abortion? The priest will give instructions. It is quite possible that he will impose penance for the sin committed.
A woman, if she feels that penance and prayer are not enough, after consulting with a priest, can perform works of mercy specifically for this sin. For example, give alms, take things to an orphanage, take care of abandoned old people, be a volunteer in a hospital. But this must be done only in agreement with the priest.
The result is atonement to overcome sin and spiritual practice
Desire, hatred, attachment, expectation, anger, greed, ego, jealousy, etc. are the main reasons that lead to sin. Discouraging a person from sin can only be beneficial when he has understood the rules regarding the commission of sin and its consequences.
It is important to understand that punishment and atonement do not remove the root of our desire to sin. However, eliminating personality defects and desires that lead to sin is possible through regular spiritual practice.
The sin of treason
Another very common sin today. A person intentionally commits fornication while being married. How to atone for the sin of treason? By repentance. Sincere and conscious. Confession and works of mercy in agreement with the priest.
Should my spouse admit to cheating? Here you need to consult with your father. Let's give an example from life.
The husband suspected his wife of infidelity. The wife swore and swore that she had nothing with anyone. The man didn't believe it. Then, in despair, the woman took him to the temple and swore in front of the icon that she had not cheated on her husband. She asked if he cheated on her. The husband admitted to cheating. She could not forgive, the marriage broke up.
The elderly priest, having heard this story from his now ex-husband, only said: “You should have been silent, you fool.”
Therefore, in such a difficult situation, only a priest will give sensible advice.
Difference Between Punishment and Atonement – The Importance of Repentance
The difference between punishment and atonement is the repentance of a person who atones for his sins. A person makes a promise to make atonement, then strictly keeps the promise and later becomes virtuous.
On the other hand, just admitting a crime or serving a sentence does not prevent a person from repeating the same mistakes. Criminals who face punishment for their crimes, by and large, don't come out any better in the end because they don't feel remorse and don't know the dire consequences of their actions.
“Righteousness teaches us about merit, about sins and the observance of Righteousness in daily life. By following Righteousness, the basic nature of man becomes satwic. Such a person never thinks of doing wrong and avoids any sinful act. Therefore, where Righteousness prevails, there is no need to have laws. This was the case in Satyayug. There were no rulers or laws because everyone was satvik, and therefore there was no need for rulers or laws.” – His Holiness Dr. Atavle
It is important to note that the feeling of repentance or recognition of one’s mistakes also has its limitations, since a person gets used to sinning and confessing sins every day.
A saint was once asked: “Who is the better person - the one who admits his mistakes or the one who hides them?” The answer was: “They are approximately the same. The one who changes and doesn’t repeat mistakes is the best.”
Sin of fornication
How to atone for sins, including prodigal sins? Fornication is intimate relations outside of marriage. Modern civil marriage, as cohabitation is popularly called, is nothing more than fornication.
As one elderly man told his grandson, before entering into an intimate relationship, you need to sign. And in terms of spirituality, also to get married. But the church also recognizes civil painting.
How to atone for the sin of fornication? To atone for this sin, you need, as with all other sins, to sincerely repent. And change your life, give up fornication. And not so that they came to confession, listed their sins, walked out of the temple gates and started all over again. And even if they took communion.
Penance
Only a priest can impose penance. You shouldn't do this yourself. It is worth talking about a serious sin committed during the Sacrament of Confession.
During Confession, a person names his sins to the priest - but, as it is said in the prayer before confession, which the priest will read, this is a confession to Christ Himself, and the priest is only a servant of God who visibly gives His grace. We receive forgiveness from the Lord: His words are preserved in the Gospel, with which Christ gives to the apostles, and through them to the priests, their successors, the power to forgive sins: “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive, they will be forgiven; on whomever you leave it, it will remain on him.”
In Confession we receive forgiveness of all the sins that we have named and those that we have forgotten. Under no circumstances should you hide your sins! If you are ashamed, name the sins, among others, briefly.
Confession, despite the fact that many Orthodox people confess once a week or two, that is, quite often, is called second baptism. During Baptism, a person is cleansed from original sin by the grace of Christ, Who accepted the Crucifixion for the sake of delivering all people from sins. And during repentance in confession, we get rid of new sins that we have committed throughout our life’s journey.
Preparing for confession is basically reflecting on your life and repenting, that is, admitting that certain things you have done are sins. Before Confession you need:
If you have never confessed, start remembering your life from the age of seven (it is at this time that a child growing up in an Orthodox family, according to church tradition, comes to his first confession, that is, he can clearly answer for his actions). Realize what transgressions cause you remorse, because conscience, according to the word of the Holy Fathers, is the voice of God in man. Think about what you can call these actions, for example: taking candy saved for a holiday without asking, getting angry and yelling at a friend, leaving a friend in trouble - this is theft, malice and anger, betrayal.
Write down all the sins that you remember, with the awareness of your untruth and a promise to God not to repeat these mistakes.
Continue thinking as an adult. In confession, you cannot and should not talk about the history of each sin; its name is enough. Remember that many of the things encouraged by the modern world are sins: an affair or relationship with a married woman is adultery, sex outside marriage is fornication, a clever deal where you received a benefit and gave someone else something of poor quality is deception and theft. All this also needs to be written down and promised to God not to sin again.
Read Orthodox literature about Confession. An example of such a book is “The Experience of Constructing Confession” by Archimandrite John Krestyankin, a contemporary elder who died in 2006. He knew the sins and sorrows of modern people.
A good habit is to analyze your day every day. The same advice is usually given by psychologists in order to form an adequate self-esteem of a person. Remember, or better yet, write down your sins, whether done by accident or intentionally (mentally ask God to forgive them and promise not to commit them again), and your successes - thank God and His help for them.
There is a Canon of Repentance to the Lord, which you can read while standing in front of the icon on the eve of confession. It is also included in the number of prayers that are preparatory to Communion. There are also several Orthodox prayers with a list of sins and words of repentance. With the help of such prayers and the Canon of Repentance, you will prepare for confession faster, because it will be easy for you to understand what actions are called sins and what you need to repent of.
Here is one of the prayers of repentance - daily confession of sins, which is read as part of the Orthodox evening prayer rule:
“I confess to You, the One Lord my God and Creator, the Holy Trinity, glorified by all, Whom all people worship: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, all my sins that I have committed in all the days of my life, which I have sinned every hour, during this day and in the past days and nights: in deed, in word, in thoughts, gluttony, drunkenness, eating in secret from others, idle discussion of people and things, despondency, laziness, disputes, disobedience and deception of superiors, slander, condemnation, careless and inattentive attitude to business and people, pride and selfishness, greed, theft, lies, criminal profit, desire for easy gain, jealousy, envy, anger, resentment, rancor, hatred, bribery or extortion and all my senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, other spiritual and physical sins with which I angered You, my God and Creator, and caused harm to my neighbor; Regretting all this, I am guilty before You, I admit to my God and I myself repent: only, Lord my God, help me, I humbly beg You with tears: forgive me all my sins, by Your mercy, and deliver me from all that I listed in prayer to You, according to Your Good will and love for all people. Amen".
You shouldn’t look for any special emotional uplift or strong emotions before and during Confession. Repentance is:
- Reconciliation with loved ones and acquaintances if you have seriously offended or deceived someone;
- Understanding that a number of actions you have done out of intent or carelessness and the constant preservation of certain feelings are unrighteous and are sins;
- A firm intention not to sin again, not to repeat sins, for example, to legalize fornication, stop adultery, recover from drunkenness and drug addiction;
- Faith in the Lord, His mercy and His gracious help;
- Faith that the Sacrament of Confession by Christ's grace and the power of His death on the Cross will destroy all your sins.
What is sincere repentance?
Imagine: they took a dirty vessel, washed it, filled it with a fragrant drink and sealed it. Take the vessel and fall into a dirty puddle. Do you want to pick it up and print it out? Or wash it again?
After repentance and communion, we are clean vessels filled with God’s grace. Why fall into the mud again? God, probably, is also not very pleased to wash us clean every time, knowing that we will begin to sin again. Everyday sins due to lack of understanding can still be understood. But such terrible acts as abortion, adultery or fornication, which people commit on purpose, are scary and incomprehensible.
How to atone for sins at home? Is this possible? Yes, it's possible. We repent of them every day if we read the evening rule. At the very end there is a special prayer in which we confess our day's sins. Afterwards, you can ask for forgiveness in your own words. They are usually the most sincere.
Sincere repentance is awareness of one's sins. Disgust for them and a desire to change your life. Continue it without particularly serious sins. Even in everyday life, monitor your thoughts, words and actions. Try not to allow unnecessary things to happen in your thoughts and actions. But the latter, of course, is the ideal option. Almost monastic, it can hardly be realized in our busy life. Although everything is possible with a strong desire.
Sacrifice [↑]
During the Temple, when performing teshuva, a person had to offer a sin-purifying sacrifice. The type of victim and the method of sacrifice depended on what kind of violation was committed.
In our time, redemption is achieved only through repentance. Some poskim
(halakhic authorities) prescribe reading a passage from the Torah that talks about the sacrifice that must be made if this violation has been committed. And this counts as making the appropriate sacrifice.
How to change your life?
We figured out how to atone for sins and how to repent. But how can you change? It doesn’t happen that once and for all a person has rejected the past. It doesn't happen, of course. We cannot change our start, that is, the past. But we have the power to change the finish line, that is, our own future.
Everything starts small, if we are talking about sins that are not particularly serious. Does a person smoke a pack of cigarettes a day? Let him start dividing this pack into two days, then into three, then into four. And such a division for a month, for example. So he quits smoking.
Or a person likes to lie in front of the TV on the weekend. And you get up and go get groceries, for example. And then wash the dishes. And lie down again. Next weekend, do not just two things, but three. And every weekend for a month, add more things to do. This is how laziness is overcome.
If the sin is especially serious, for example, treason or fornication, then they must be abandoned once and for all. It’s hard, resisting temptation will be unbearable at first. But gradually the desire to commit this act will begin to disappear. And then it will disappear completely.
Types of Atonement [↑]
Rambam in “The Laws of Repentance” (1, 4) divides all commandments into four groups - in accordance with the severity of their violation and the method of atonement for this violation:
- The first group is all the prescriptive commandments (except for the commandments about the Passover sacrifice and circumcision, for non-fulfillment of which there are punishments, see below; these commandments belong to the third group). Violation of these commandments is expiated by teshuva - repentance.
- The second group is prohibitory commandments. Teshuva does not completely atone for their violation, but only delays the punishment. Full atonement is achieved only on Yom Kippur.
- The third group is the commandments, for violation of which the death penalty or karet ("cutting off the soul") is imposed. Full atonement for these violations is only possible after teshuva, Yom Kippur and suffering.
- The fourth is the prohibition of desecration of the name of G-d - “Hilul Hashem”. Complete atonement for this sin occurs only after death.
Is it worth giving alms for your sins?
A very interesting question. In the understanding of modern people, or rather most modern people, alms must be given in monetary terms. For some reason, people forget about the spiritual.
Meanwhile, it is not at all necessary to give alms in money. Help is spiritual alms. And it is much more valuable than money.
Why not help an old lonely neighbor with groceries? Especially if funds allow. Or not visit a hospice as a volunteer? Or not help a shelter for homeless animals? By this we ask forgiveness for the laws given by God that we have violated.
But any almsgiving must be done in agreement with the priest, we do not forget about this. Sometimes a person takes a very heavy burden on his shoulders in terms of alms. He understands that he is beyond his strength, but he cannot quit. And the murmur begins. It is better to discuss your actions of this kind with the priest, to whom you constantly confess.
Teshuvah [↑]
Teshuvah is a necessary condition for the atonement of sin; without this condition, all other atonement actions are meaningless.
Teshuva consists of three main stages:
- termination of the prohibited action;
- regret that it was committed;
- decision not to do it in the future.
After teshuva, a person must say “viduy,” that is, “in words” tell the Almighty about what was done and about his regret about it.
It is said in the Talmud: “Even the great righteous do not reach the level that the repentant reach” (Berachot 34).
Sins of children
How to atone for the sins of children? Before answering this question, we should ask another: is it possible to do this?
We pray for children; there are special prayers for this. But you cannot atone for the sins of others, even if they are the sins of your own children, without the permission of the priest. Only very strong spiritual personalities, such as the murdered Optina New Martyrs, have the boldness to take upon themselves the sins of others. Or Father John Krestyankin, for example. How many of us living in the world have reached such spiritual heights? That's it.
Therefore, before you undertake to atone for the sins of your children, first discuss this topic with a priest. Self-will in this case can lead to harmful spiritual consequences.
Suffering [↑]
Sins are expiated by suffering (Berachot 5a). The highest degree of humility is the acceptance of suffering with joy, that is, with the awareness that the suffering endured in this world replaces the spiritual suffering that is due for the corresponding violation after death; in their severity they are incommensurate with physical ones.
In ancient times, it was customary to fast and torture oneself in order to atone for the crime completely, thus replacing the punishment due for such a crime from Above. But modern halakhic authorities believe that this path is not suitable for our generation, so they recommend replacing fasting and self-torture with more intensive Torah study, donations and good deeds.
The Book of Zohar (chapter Kdoshim) says that the study of Torah atones for sins and can replace the suffering due to a person.
Will God forgive if you ask him for forgiveness?
The Lord God loves all his children, he is merciful, he is ready to grant forgiveness for all sins. What we need from us is:
- Trust in God
- admit your sin
- repent of it
- ask for forgiveness through prayer
- make every effort not to sin in the future
The merciful God is ready to forgive people their sins.
How to ask God for forgiveness for masturbation?
Fornication (malakia or, scientifically, masturbation) is a prodigal sin, which consists of self-satisfaction of one’s sexual desires. The reality is that society no longer condemns men and women for masturbation. On the contrary, such acts are considered normal and even necessary (according to some doctors). The views of the Orthodox Church have not changed, and masturbation still remains unnatural and sinful.
IMPORTANT: According to the Church, masturbation lowers a person to the level of a mindless animal. This sin dishonors both himself and God. Punishment must follow from both the Church and God.
You can ask God for forgiveness for masturbation in confession or by reading one of the above prayers. We must remember to specify this sin. There is also a very strong prayer against lust (fornication, debauchery, fornication).
Prayer against lust (fornication, debauchery, masturbation).
