A husband is someone you will spend the rest of your life with. He will be the son-in-law to your parents and the father of your children. He should be the rock of your home and the strength of your family.
Marrying the wrong person could mean a lifetime of suffering not only for you, but also for your future children. Unlike breaking up with a boyfriend, which can be done in an instant, breaking up between a husband and wife is a different matter. His wound is deeper and the impact on those around him is even greater.
Marriage is both a legal and a sacred thing, governed by two laws - Earth and Heaven. Thus, ladies should be very careful in choosing the guy they should marry. This also applies to finding a boyfriend who can be their husband later.
Here are 12 commandments from the Bible that he is the man you should marry
He is independent from his parents
“But at the beginning of his creation God” made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife - Mark 10:6-7 (NIV)
Do you like a man who is still dependent on his parents - financially, mentally and emotionally? Do you like living in your husband's parents' house? Do you want a husband who can't make a decision without his parents' permission? Well, the Bible does have a good reason why it wants husband and wife to be independent from their parents.
A responsible husband does not have to be a millionaire to place his wife and children apart from his parents. But all it takes is his love, courage and determination to give you the freedom you and your family deserve.
VALUABLE FIND
This means that people who have the qualities that God wants to see in them in order to use them in the implementation of His plans are not found at every turn. Faithful, reliable, trustworthy, steadfast people are so rare that God has to make a careful, thorough search to find them. And when, as a result of observing a believer, God comes to the conclusion that he really strives to do His will, and in the best possible way, He understands that he has made a valuable discovery. He has found a faithful person whom he can rely on and entrust him with an important task.
He's loyal and he doesn't cheat
“The wife has no power over her body, but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband has no power over his body, but yields it to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:4 (NIV)
In fact, a loyal person who has no history of cheating will not fill your mind with doubts and jealousy, but only with peace of mind. And with this you can spend your married life and enjoy it. Besides, you don't want to give yourself to a man who has been with other women. That would be so unfair, wouldn't it?
Connection of Faith
We can safely say that God wants to find like-minded people for us. Is your partner a believer? If not, then you shouldn't be around him. The Bible says that such a partnership is righteousness with iniquity, and nothing good can come of it. You will see the world differently, set priorities, perceive certain situations. Just don’t confuse him with a person of a different faith. Although different religions are not an example to follow, still, there is nothing wrong with this, and God does not forbid it. The main thing is that you both sincerely believe in God, and then a long, harmonious life is guaranteed to you.
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He deserves trust, responsibility and reliability
“Wives, submit to your husbands as you submit to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, because Christ is the head of the church, and in his body he is the Savior" (Ephesians 5:22-23 (NIV)
The Bible wants the wife to submit to her husband so that the latter can lead her to the Lord God. But what if the guy you marry is irresponsible and unreliable? Would you want you and your children to be governed by such a person? Women should find a man who can be a good leader - a man who will lead them to a good and blissful life.
Requests for help Write your story Hello, here is my story. A few days ago we broke up with my boyfriend, he left me, I have no anger or hatred towards him, moreover, I even understand him, but I can’t live without him. We have known each other for more than 7 years, we were friends, he even once tried to court me, but I did not react, although I always loved him, I was just afraid of a serious relationship. He was my first man. Our serious relationship began more than a year ago, I returned happy from vacation, tanned, beautiful. One day we met by chance on a bus, and then he invited me to the cinema. Since this all started. We lived together for 8 months, 8 of my happy months. And now I can’t walk the streets of my hometown, to the cinema and cafes, I can’t be at home, I can’t even turn the switch on and off in the room, because he set it. Every little thing reminds me of him. I don’t sleep at all, when I close my eyes and start to doze off, after a while I begin to hear his voice in reality, he calls me by name. I am immediately overcome with joy that all this is actually a terrible dream, but when I open my eyes and put my hand on the nearby pillow, I understand that he is not there and will never be in my life again. I cry constantly, my parents support me, they tell me I have to endure it. But I can’t do it... The worst thing is that I abandoned God. I constantly go and repeat, you are not there, since you allowed this, and if you are, take me to you. I don’t want to live without him. Everyone says that God took me away from him, but I don’t believe it. I have never met such a good and understanding person. I constantly think about suicide and what stops me is not that it’s a sin, but that my parents simply won’t survive this, and he, too, will bear the guilt for this all his life, and I don’t want anyone’s suffering. We even called him, he asked I have forgiveness, but he’s not going to return, he just says that he doesn’t love and doesn’t want to cause me worries, he says that he also feels emptiness and melancholy, but we can’t be together and this is the most correct step, which I will probably understand later and will I'm even grateful to him. I think about him every minute, he still has our cat, a very wonderful mother, I have never met such kind people, but for me there is no more life, only pain and emptiness...
Maria, age: 24 / 01/14/2010
Responses:
Masha, I still don’t understand the reason for the breakup. M.b. Did he come up with something like that for himself and “do it the best way”? Maybe we should try to talk frankly and find out what the problem is? It happens that people separate, and then they realize that it’s hard for them without each other, and they come together again. Maybe in a few years. I know women who waited for their betrothed for twenty years - during this time he managed to get married, divorced and grow old. And they waited. Are you ready for this? Usually in such situations they try to change the situation. Make repairs, move in with your parents. So that nothing poisons the soul - no towels, no slippers, no light switches 
Yulishcha, age: 34 / 01/14/2010
Maria, visit the forum https://www.nelubit.ru/ you will find a lot of useful information. I myself recently experienced a breakup, the main thing I realized is that you just need to accept and get through it. The main thing is not to do anything stupid - the more we try to return a person, the more he moves away from us. You need to thank him sincerely from the bottom of your heart, wish him good luck and happiness and let him go. Try to preserve the positive memories you have of this person and move on. I think, as in my case, your young man, like my girlfriend, brought something new, something unusual into your life - thanks to him, you are who you are now. You have become more experienced and you need to try to move on and be happy despite the difficulties. I don’t know if friendship is possible after everything, you don’t have to communicate with him, but you don’t need to make a “sour face” when meeting. People didn’t agree - well, okay, the main thing is that they didn’t do anything stupid. Don't despair - you will definitely succeed! Suicide is not the answer.
Alexander, age: 23 / 01/14/2010
the main reason for suicide is loneliness, E. Durheim wrote this in his book “Suicide”. And you are not alone... you and I.. your parents are with you... you have an emptiness - it needs to be filled.. but how?? a person is like a vessel , a weak person is a thin vessel... and how can it be full if it constantly leaks out of it...)))) try to fill life with meaning... discover your abilities that you forgot about... Did you like to draw as a child?? - take piece of paper and draw)))).love yourself..
Syoma, age: 18 / 01/14/2010
Maria, I understand you very well, as I felt the same way when I separated from my ex-husband. This will all pass. Time heals any wounds. Just six months after the divorce, I met another guy, whom I married and have been married to for 7 years. Now I understand well that the happiness that I had with my first husband is a fraction of what I have now. I remember my first marriage like a bad dream. Maria, I’m just sure that all the best is ahead for you! So you write that you understood each other. But it seems to me that this is an illusion. He broke up with you for some selfish reasons of his and just wanted to arrange it all beautifully. So you write that you have given up on God. Do you know that a small misfortune saves you from a big one? Imagine what would happen if you broke up not now, but in a few years. And by this time you could already have a child. Everything would have been much worse.
Julia, age: 28 / 01/15/2010
Hold on. I myself once experienced a breakup with a loved one and I remember well how painful it was for me then, how every little thing, almost everything I saw and heard, reminded me of him, how I cried every night... True, I didn’t think about suicide , but thoughts about death often came to mind, that it would be nice to just stop living, stop being, not feel this constant pain... Now your life is filled with memories of the happiness you experienced and the pain due to the fact that it was left behind. Time will pass and this pain will subside, you will remain grateful to this person for all the good things that happened between you. Over time, this pain will go away. Your parents are right - you have to endure it, get through it. Cry, speak out, experience the first shock of what happened. By the way, don't you keep a diary? Try writing about how you feel in a journal. And start filling your life with new things, new events, so that you simply don’t have the opportunity to torment yourself with memories. Hold on. You can handle it.
Anita, age: 31 / 01/15/2010
https://nelubit.ru/viewtopic.php?p=124634#124634 Mashenka, this is a link to a post on the forum, “parting advice on how to survive a breakup.” We all feel for you, almost everyone has experienced the pain of loss in their lives, hold on. I read somewhere “love is not half of happiness, and you don’t even need it to be mutual, it’s the whole happiness.” You are now fixated on your emotions, you want him to be near, and not for him to feel good. After all, isn’t it a joy for a loving person when his loved one is doing well, even if he is not around? Think about it...it will be easier to take in the shower. Take a vacation, visit friends and relatives from another city. Sign up for courses and use your free time to do useful things. And you also write that you have given up on God, this is bad, a person by nature is weak, unbalanced, subject to emotions, trusts feelings too much, he himself cannot get out of this, he needs a strong spiritual core, otherwise he will be captured by the unrealistic world inspired by him emotions like “I can’t live without him,” this is completely contrary to logic... Repent, and ask for help, and especially without ultimatums... He will help, I know, He cannot help but help, He loves us all, even those who renounces Him... Patience for you, dear. Hugs.
Gata, age: 25 / 01/15/2010
I have a very similar situation - we lived together for 1.5 years - during this period I did not say a single bad word to him - I blew away specks of dust. And on January 2 of this year, he took me and told me that he didn’t want to live like this anymore - that he wanted to leave, he said that I deserved better and that he didn’t want to torture me, he wanted me to be truly happy, but he couldn’t give me that. ...and that's it...my world just collapsed...it was so unexpected that I couldn't even imagine...I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep - I didn't talk to anyone... everyone kept saying that it was all for the best, that I would find something better, etc. and so on. And I said, no, he’s the best - he just stopped loving me... I understand him... he just wants me to be happy.... and I really thought so... I woke up in the morning, looked at the pillow on which he slept and kept stroking this pillow... but a week later I finally came to my senses... and realized that most likely he didn’t tell me something.... I hacked into his email and his page in one class - and there..... I read and cried... I was hysterical for several hours and no sedative helped... and there he corresponded with a girl... they confessed their love to each other and she came to him to live right after we broke up... and I didn’t know this - I kept ironing the pillow - I thought how good he was... and I also read his letters in the mail - it turns out that 2 months before we broke up, he was on a dating site and looking for girls for bed once or twice - if I hadn’t read it all myself, I would never have believed that it was all true!!!! Moreover, I would defend him and tell everyone that he is not like that. And only now I understand... he was simply afraid to tell me the truth - that he fell in love with someone else... so my dear, don’t believe these words - if a person is dear and he loves, he will never leave you. Never!!! Let him go - endure it.. you must live.... A few years will pass and you will see how your life will change, although now I can’t believe it - you will have a family and you will have a loving and beloved husband and there will be children…. just be patient... just have a little more patience... get rid of all these thoughts from yourself.... wait for your happiness - just wait - no matter how much it hurts.
Violet, age: 26 / 01/19/2010
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He's a good role model
“Do not be deceived: “An evil company corrupts good habits” (1 Corinthians 15:33 (NKJV)
Do you think you can just marry a bad man and then try to turn him into a better man? Well, your superpowers may simply be exhausted, and the person you are may not change. And worst of all, instead of turning your future husband into a good one, you may have turned into a worse one due to disappointments.
You have been warned. So, find someone who will nurture your good character, not someone who will destroy him.
He is not a glutton or a drunkard
“Do not associate with someone who is gluttonous or loves to drink; For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and sleepiness will clothe a man in rags" (Proverbs 23:20-21 (NKJV)
Drunkenness and gluttony will not only drain your husband of his money, but also cause him pain and illness. If you are a practical woman, you will marry a guy who knows how to manage his financial well-being and health. You will find a person who has self-discipline and not one who will spend his money on alcoholic drinks rather than on his children.
Stares at others
If he openly shows sympathy for other women, this is a reason to seriously think about it. For a man in love, only you exist, the rest are faded shadows. If you see how he follows others with his eyes, compliments them, especially in your presence, he is unlikely to consider you seriously. Most likely, you are just another passing hobby for him and he is still looking. Or he doesn’t need any relationship with a hint of seriousness yet. The question is, do you need such a relationship?
He will bring you closer to God
“I will be engaged to you forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in fidelity, and you will acknowledge the Lord. — Hosea 2: 19-20 (NIV)
Finally, if you want to have a family that is blessed by God, find someone who will not lead you away from Him. If you believe in a God who is the God of love, justice, compassion and righteousness, then you should marry a person who will inspire you to practice these virtues.
Author: brainum.ru
